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Love is a very fickle thing. It can be incredibly weird, wild, unexpected, or even strange. It can be heartwarming, soft, caring, and needed. Yet it can be so tedious, resentful, hating, and vile. I suppose it ultimately depends on who your partner is and how fortunate you are. If you had asked me ten or fifteen years ago where I saw myself, I would have no doubt I would have said, "In love with a man, happy together, married, doing what men and women do." Even if you had asked me after my divorce, I would have answered the same way. But that wasn't my fate.
I had long stopped hating men. Even after the shit show of a divorce I went through. Even after dating Mary, sleeping with my divorce attorney, Jane, and then dating another man, I no longer harbored hatred. I had to let that go. I wasn't going to entertain lesbian desires or even lesbian relationships because I hated men. I would entertain those relationships because I wanted to be in one. I did miss men through all of this. I guess it's the girl in me that misses sucking a hard dick. Feeling it hit the back of my throat. Hearing the little whispers and groans of pleasure, I knew I was giving them and being on my back while being made love to. Or the feeling of knowing he came inside of me when he orgasmed.
But I must truthfully and honestly tell you, I still have not found something so thrilling, erotic, taboo, or unique as being flat down on my chest between a woman's legs, looking at her sexy, shaved, or waxed pussy, knowing I'm about to lick, suck, and finger it to orgasm. It's undoubtedly not for everyone, but for me, it's liberating. Even back when I was with Mary and keeping my newly discovered sexual experiences to myself, it was so wild to be involved with her desiring a woman. To know I was eating pussy and no one knew it. My developing lifestyle and our hidden little romance, acted out behind closed doors. Outwardly, we were just two friends, but deep in the dark of night, when we were alone, we were two women who were exploring and experiencing love as neither had before. It was like I had the world's biggest secret all to myself. Even back then, when someone asked me if I was dating someone, I would say, "No." But, in the back of my mind, I would be thinking, "Yes, I am, and I love her pussy."
For me, there is something so completely fulfilling about knowing I have the same equipment and that I am in control. That it's a pussy I long for. How I want to stick my tongue inside it and taste every bit of flowing juices. To see it up close, to know what it looks like, and how it reacts to my touch. And truly understand how it feels to touch it as if someone were touching mine. To know that I can make a woman wet. I can make her scream louder than she has ever screamed before. To look up while my mouth is covering her clit and see her eyes, her smile, her lust, her satisfaction, and her beautiful tits hanging from her chest is what turns me on. And see her eyes staring into mine as her mouth is pleasing me.
All those years back, during my initial experiences with lesbian sex, or being in a lesbian situation, caught me so off guard that it floored me beyond rational thought. If you followed my story - what turned me on - you'll know I went through life-altering thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, and some very disheartening first female-female relationships. It was scary, different, and surely unsettling. But yet, I persevered. I kept pursuing my interests. I didn't let fears stop me from being someone different or experiencing something different. Even though it went against my thoughts, my upbringing, and my usual choice of partners, I knew I wanted to experience more, so I did. And in the long run, it was what I wanted.
In my younger years, I couldn't have imagined my passion for the taste of a woman. To be kissing another woman's lipstick-covered lips. To want to feel her so close emotionally, that we are interconnected. To want to see her tits pop out of a bra. To slide her panties off. To smell her perfume on me after spending time together. To have some of the roughest nights of deep, powerful, forceful sex, yet on other occasions, to have a soft romantic night of licking her while she was licking me.
To have given up men for no other reason except that I found out I liked sex with women more. That somehow, even now, if I wanted to go back to men, I would miss pussy more than I missed dick. Especially with Amber.
I should stop titling these stories Amber, the babysitter, and start calling her Amber, my fiancée. My love, my life, and the best sexual partner (female anyway) that I have ever had. She is why I chose to give up men forever. Give up normalcy, give up the possibility of me having more children naturally, dating, dealing with the pissed parents, uneasy awkward feelings, unacceptance, and anything else you can think of to be with her. But it's what I want. I couldn't imagine not being able to hold her. To feel her skin pressed into mine. To feel her soft, wet kiss. To see how wet I get her and how loudly (when applicable) we both can be in the bedroom. To want her pussy frequently, and her to want mine. And to be in love with my best friend.
For us to experiment with toys, anal, candle sticks, her pens or markers for teaching, or anything else we can find to ram into each other. Yet having the passion on so many nights, where there has been soft, gentle, intimate intercourse until we both cum, has been beyond fulfilling. I would lick her pussy every day if I could. It's the fire that keeps me where I am in life. She's what keeps me coming back for more. Everything I have taught her, or that she has learned through experience, has helped our love blossom to the point where we are now getting married. It's something I would have never foreseen happening. As we both have blurted out many times in excitement, frustration, acceptance, or the heat of the moment, "I am a lesbian." It makes me accept it, live it, and want it even more.
I know I usually don't suggest anything to anyone about their sexuality or experimentation. Still, ladies or even men, if you have the chance to have a sex partner, do it. Put the fears aside and go for it. If you don't like it, you've lost nothing but time and a different experience. But if you like it as I did, doors you never imagined will open quickly. A rebirth, or reawakening. A change of your thoughts, status, or desires. A taboo sense of want. Something so inconceivable, yet it draws you in for more. But, enough of me rambling, so for now, let's go on with our story.
Over the next few months, Amber and I spent a lot of time with her parents and mine. We had dinner together weekly and invited them to movies with the kids, took little adventures to theme parks, walked on walking trails, attended plays, and did anything else we could think of to bring us all closer. As time passed, I believe everyone's acceptance of us finally took hold. The bitterness and anger were subsiding. Her parents began to understand me better and grasp that I wasn't there to exploit their daughter or to gain financial reliance from her. That I did love her, and I wanted to be with her. That I had spent more than 24,000.00 dollars on our wedding rings. That I was already a mom. That I had my own house. I had a good job and earned a good income. Respectfully, I believe they finally accepted their daughter was a lesbian, and I was just the woman she fell in love with. That I didn't need anything from Amber, but her love. My parent got on board just as fast. However, they were better off with it from the start than hers were.
Each time we took a step forward and believed things were going our way, we would have our little celebrations. It was as if we were "winning" as we watched them let their guard down and accept us more. It also seemed to open up the door for our sexual appetites to be enhanced more than they usually were.
We were like two hormonal young adults who had just got told, "Go ahead and fuck each other; just do it safely." We couldn't keep our hands off each other. The minute the kids left with my ex or either of our parents, clothes were off. If we went out to dinner, we'd finger each other on the way home. When we went to see a movie, we'd have all kinds of touchy-feely moments in the theater. If we were at someone's house for a party, we'd be fooling around in the bathroom. It was like we were taking sex pills or some estrogen-boosting supplements that made you wet if the wind blew in the right direction. And I fucking loved every minute of it. Periods or not, tired or not, sore or not, when we had the chance, things were being licked, sucked, fingered, and fucked like never before. I couldn't get enough.
I was at the age when women are said to be in their prime. Yet the 23-year-old woman I was engaged to had a bigger sex drive than I did. Every time I got to slide her panties off, I got overly excited. I was even more excited when she slipped mine off. If I had the chance to rub, caress, or even tease her pussy, I was as giddy as a college frat boy. It was more than erotic or sensual or some wild exploration. I was getting all the pussy I wanted, and she was getting every bit of mine back. As we grew and developed within our relationship and accepted ourselves, we became increasingly open and honest with each other about our feelings and emotions.
One of the hottest nights we had was at a strip club, where in the middle of the videos playing and the dancers dancing, Amber and I put on our own show. Let me tell you, we pushed the envelope of privacy, and we had strangers watching us, including several of the strippers.
As my birthday approached, we were tossing out ideas of things to do after my birthday dinner. During one of my online searches of "things to do in your area," I came across an ad for a gentleman's club. The fancy word for a strip club, or so I've been told. Neither of us had ever been to a strip club, and I was intrigued reading how the club operated. It read they had movie screens with videos playing while strippers danced on stage or gave you a personal dance. Now, you would think that one or both of us would want to see male strippers, but since we were both into women, we felt kind of excited to see pole dancing, and the prices weren't outrageous, so we decided to go.
Saturday night, after the kids left for her parents--yes, I said her parents--they started taking them to get to know them better. Amber and I showered together, got dressed in very casual yet sexy attire, went out for dinner, and headed to the club at 8:00 P. M. when it opened.
We were both nervous, as can be, after we parked my car, and we walked into the club. The cashier at the door was very kind, explaining the club's rules to us. The maître d' then escorted us to the main floor, where we sat towards the back on a slightly elevated area. The place was eerily dark, with small lamps on each table and two chairs on each side. Along all the side walls, they had different porn movies playing in dim lighting. On the main stage, there was a pole in the middle, and there was a host of young strippers walking around in very skimpy outfits, speaking with the customers.
As Amber and I sat down, I whispered, "I am so nervous."
I know she was, too. Neither of us had seen anything like this before. We bought one of the mandatory two-drink minimums and watched the show for a while. As the next performer took the stage, we admired her flexibility and skills as she worked the pole. She slid across the floor, shook her ass, removed her top, teased her tits, and made the crowd roar and clap in appreciation. Dancer after dancer took their turn on stage, while the other girls walked around. Some even approached us, introduced themselves, and asked if we would like a dance. I think we both did, but I think we were just too nervous to say it.
As time passed and our nervousness subsided, Amber and I were discussing which girls we thought were the sexiest or hottest. Who danced the best, or which one could we choose for a lap dance? Amber was immensely drawn to the one stripper with very long, beautiful red hair. She was skinny and did not have big tits, but she was very attractive. On the other hand, I was intently interested in the darker-toned Asian female. I don't know if she was Filipina or Malaysian, maybe a mix, but she had long, silky black hair, very deep, dark nipples, and a round, bubbled ass. And when she shook it on stage, I felt tingling inside me.
There was no doubt that as much as Amber and I were in love with each other and wouldn't even consider cheating, we were both getting immensely turned on by these women walking around in sleek lingerie, showing everyone their tits and bodies far beyond what we would see elsewhere.
When the Filipina stripper walked over to us, she introduced herself as Bambi and asked if I wanted a dance. Amber loudly said, "Yes, she would," and started digging in her purse for a $20.00 bill.
When the song changed, Bambi began dancing before me, seductively positioning herself all over my body. She glided her tits passed my face, dropping her panties and putting her ass right at my nose, and I started to get very, very wet. I was playing it off like it was some new, different fun, an adventure I had never done before. But if Bambi had backed up another inch, I would have had my tongue so far into her pussy she would have been paying me for the pleasure. It was incredibly hot!
When it was over and Bambi walked away, I knew I was bright red. Blushing because I had just had a stripper, give me a full view (if you will), all while my fiancé sat and watched. When the dancer Amber fancied came by, I reciprocated the favor and paid for Katie to dance for Amber. Believe me, as much as I was blushing when Bambi was done, Amber was just as red when Katie climbed off her.
Amber and I held hands as we continued watching the dancers and were heavily gazing at the porn movies on the screens. The place grew even more crowded as time passed, and I began to notice a greater presence of women and couples than single men. I also thought I wondered if this place was more suited for curious or bisexual women than single men. It didn't matter either way, but what triggered my hormones and desire for Amber was, as we held hands and we watched the dancers, and watched the porn movies playing, she started gliding her thumb across the top of mine. When I would squeeze her hand, she would push her thumb down harder. I knew she was getting aroused by all the sexy women. I didn't mind. I wasn't jealous. I mean, that's what these places are for, right? To get men and even women horny.
By this time of the night, two drinks in, a lap dance, my finance rubbing my hand, the porno movies consistently playing, and all the sexy women walking around provocatively dressed, I was dripping wet. I was beyond turned on. I was ready to fuck Amber, Bambi, Katie, or anyone who would have let me lick their pussy right there in the place. I have said it before, and I'll repeat it, I don't know the moment the change happened, but somewhere in life, I became pussy crazy. I could never get enough. I just wanted it. And now that I was engaged to a woman, I was getting it whenever I wanted.
I happened to notice a couple sitting on the chairs right along the stage. It was a man and a woman, and amid the dancer being showcased, the woman lifted her shirt, pulled her bra cups down, and pulled her huge tits out, fondling herself right in front of the dancer. Her husband was helping her rub, play and cup her tits. The dancer even reached out and held them. I was astounded. I knew by the instructions at the door we couldn't touch the dancers, but I surely didn't think it was okay to touch yourself. Or your partner.
I pointed out the couple to Amber, showing her what was going on by the stage. We both watched the woman and the dancer interact while the husband was along for the ride. Her tits were incredibly big, incredibly round, hefty, and indeed would be pretty fun behind closed doors. But as the dancer left the stage and it was Bambi's turn to dance on stage again, I started having the urge to pull my tits out. I anxiously watched as Bambi shimmied up and down the pole, slid across the floor, and dance seductively. Just as Bambi took her top off, I looked at Amber, pulled my hand from hers, pulled my shirt up to my neck, pushed my bra cups down, and let my tits out.
I couldn't believe I was doing it, and I think Amber was just as shocked, but I wanted Bambi to see my tits too. I got so horny exposing myself, feeling alive, giddy and sexual, that I wanted more.
"I'm so fucking horny," I spoke out to Amber as Bambi was seductively gliding around the stage.
It wasn't long until I had my jeans button open and my zipper down. My right hand was cupping and playing with my tits, as my left hand was deep inside my panties. I looked around, hoping no one was watching me, but I had to get off. I had to cum.
I was so wet that my fingers slid inside of me without any pressure or force. Amber was licking her lips and had twisted in her seat to watch me rather than watch the show. I know she was just as hot, bothered, and aroused as I was. Maybe even more now that I was masturbating here in the club. I was focused on Bambi, and as much as I would never cheat, if I had five minutes alone with her, I would have licked her pussy so hard that Bambi would have been screaming my name.
I was trying to finger myself hard and deep, but there wasn't a lot of flexible room in the crotch of my jeans, so I bravely stood up, edged them down further, let go of my tits, and just focused on fingering myself. I was half off the chair, legs spread wide open, and if anyone was watching, they could see the outline of my hand moving back and forth every time my fingers slid in and out. Even after Bambi left the stage and the next girl came on, I was still going strong and seconds away from cumming. By now, people around us could clearly see that I was taking care of myself. I think they turned their attention more to me than to the dancer on the stage. Even the woman, who still had her tits out, wasn't playing with herself as hard as I was.
It must have hit Amber like a bolt of lightning, setting her off because just a moment later, she had her hand down her pants and was playing with herself. Her attention was divided between watching one of the porn videos that was playing behind me and watching me. When I looked back, I saw it was shemale on female video, and the girl was taking it in the ass hard from her lesbian (TS) girlfriend. The more I watched the movie, watched Amber, and looked at the dancer on stage, the harder and deeper I fingered myself.
People around us started cheering and encouraging us to do more. I kept hearing chants of, "Take 'em off, take 'em off," echoing in the background.
I was so embarrassed, but the urge to cum overrode my sense of vanity. Amber must have known I needed her, because she reached over pulled my hand from inside my pants and slid her hand down onto my pussy. Her fingers felt amazing. Yet as she fingered me, I also felt as if it was someone else's fingers pleasing me. That somewhere in my mind, it was Bambi's fingers, or Katie's. I spread my legs open as far as I could so Amber would have room to manipulate me.
Amber leaned over towards me further and started kissing me deeply. As much as we both were in such an awkward position, I reached my hand down into her pants, finding her pussy lips wide open and soaking wet. We kept kissing and manually manipulating each other to points of arousal that had us both on the edge of a hard orgasm. Through the mix of pleasure, and forgetting where we were at, I pulled my shirt over my head, leaving my bra cups pinned under my tits and just stayed in the moment with amber, reeling in the pleasures we were bringing each other.
I wanted to pull her pants down, I wanted to be on my knees in this cum covered, old worn out, sticky red carpet licking her to multiple orgasm. But we were in public. As much as people were cheering us on, and crumpled one-dollar bills were being thrown towards us, I knew we weren't going to get more involved than this. I surely wasn't going to get completely naked here in this club. But believe me, the thoughts and ideas were there.
It wasn't long before the bouncer came over and asked us to stop our activities, advising us that we were here to watch the show, not put one on. I heard the "Boos" from the crowd as we both removed our hands from deep inside each other's pants. Even some of the strippers who were watching us seemed disappointed that we were told to stop. There was no denying as much as I thought we had been sneaky about our little moments of passion, I soon realized numerous patrons were watching us fingering each other, making out with my tits out visible to the everyone's eyes.
Amber and I sat back up in our chairs appropriately and began to zip up and button our jeans. But even after being told to stop, I was still dripping wet. I wanted Bambi's face between my legs. I wanted to sit on her face while I ate Amber out, in some wild threesome moment. And in return, I wanted to be under her. I wanted to taste her Asian pussy and make her cum just as hard as I was going to make Amber cum. I wanted Katie straddled over Amber so that Amber could be eating her pussy. Every thought, fantasy, or desire came running through my mind as I sat back, embarrassed about our activities.
I was disappointed that the bouncer had asked us to stop, but I felt emboldened, unafraid, and adventurous. I wanted everyone in the place to see this. I wanted one of our strippers to ask us out for a night of sexual adventure. I wanted all the money that was falling on the floor around us, but mostly I just wanted Amber to cum hard and make me cum again.
Through all those wild, erotic, and deep sexual thoughts was also the moment that I knew both of us had just realized we had taken some very forward personal pleasures in watching a stripper show to a whole new level of sexual exploitation in front of a crowd. If you thought we had been red, blushed, or embarrassed by the strippers dancing for us, you have no idea how red, blushed, and embarrassed we were now. Thank God we didn't know anyone there who would have gotten a first-hand view of us in a heated make-out session, while fingering each other.
Just a mere minute or two later, the panic set in as I sat back in my chair, sweaty, catching my breath with my tits still hanging out. We had definitely gone too far. And as much as I was swept up in the moment, I also knew we had pushed the envelope and gotten caught. We quickly rose from our seats. I put my bra cups back up, found my shirt on the floor, and threw it back on. We acknowledged everyone who thanked us for the show, grabbed the money from the floor, and quickly exited the club to a thundering round of applause.
I was so sweaty and rushed in getting dressed and leaving that I put my shirt on backwards, and it was sticking to my skin. As Amber and I got into the car to go home, we both let out a large, hearty, bursting laugh at what we had just done. I felt like we needed to hit the gas and speed away from a crime scene. I was so shaken and mortified that we had fooled around in the club in front of complete strangers, all while being cheered on. Coupled with money being thrown at us. I wanted to count it, but I also wanted to get the fuck out of there before some guys came out after us asking us for sexual favors.
We weren't at the next traffic light when Amber pulled towards me and kissed me deeply. I could see by the look in her eyes she was still horny, still aroused and would have gone for round two right there in the car.
Just as the light turned green, she whispered to me, "I need your pussy."
I must have driven 20 miles per hour over the speed limit all the way home. All while she was rubbing up against me, kissing my ear and my neck. Her hands were wandering all over me. Amber pulled her jeans and panties down to her ankles and was whispering in my ear that her pussy was throbbing. Pulsing! That she needed me.
She had opened up my jeans and was rubbing my clit over my panties. I was wetter and more aroused on that ride home than I had been at the club. By the time we pulled into my driveway, Amber's hand had been rubbing my clit so hard I was seconds away from coming. Before I even shut the car off, we were deep in a heated kiss again, my legs were shaking, and I came hard. Now that I wasn't driving anymore, I could tend to her needs by sliding my hand right up and in between her legs. In our brief heated exchange in the car, I slid two fingers into her pussy and one in her ass and listened to her moan as I fingered her harder than I had in a long time, until she came all over my hand.
She had to pull her pants up to get into the house, but needless to say, once we got inside, our clothes came right back off. Each of us took a very long, sensual, erotic time playing, sucking, and eating each other out to multiple orgasms. While I was eating her out, I asked her to imagine I was Katie and told her it was okay to create a scenario in her mind. It wasn't long that she was moaning out "Katies" name as I made her cum. She reciprocated the favor, letting me moan out Bambi's name. But by the end of the night and after a multitude of orgasms, we were both moaning out our own names.
I felt so lucky that we never got in trouble for what we had done at the club. That some cop didn't show up at the house to arrest us. But I also felt that seeing other women dancing seductively, wandering around half-naked in skimpy outfits, let alone completely naked while dancing over us, had cemented the fact that we both wanted pussy. We were both lesbians, and in the wee hours of the morning after waking me up from a deep sleep, when Amber's face was between my legs again, I knew we had to continue to move forward, make us a permanent, and continue with our plans to get married.
We finally set a date for our wedding after we completely accepted ourselves, people came to be on our side, and allowed us to pursue our happiness. We set it for August 21st. That day, as I stood at the altar in my flowing white dress, watching her walk down the aisle in her white dress was my most memorable moment in years.
Our honeymoon was nothing but eating, drinking, fucking, and sleeping. With showers in the mix. We went to Aruba for a long weekend just before she started teaching that semester. It was fabulous. I couldn't believe it then, just as sometimes I can't believe now that I am married again. I am in love beyond what I could ever have imagined. And the most shocking thing is that it is to a beautiful, young, sexy, vibrant woman twenty years younger than me.
I couldn't have asked for better, and you know what... We did have two children. She birthed both after artificial insemination. They are the light of our lives. As we grew older and gained more experience, we had several threesomes with one of her female coworkers, and we all had quite a bit of fun around our 5th anniversary. But I am getting ahead of myself.
Let me get back to wedding plans, honeymoons, strap-on dildos, and orgasms so hard that we both squirted all over the bed.
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