Confessions: Paid For, Seedy Sex

THIS, like all that will follow in this series, is a true story. I'm telling it not because it's something I'm proud of - I'm not. I'm telling it because it was what happened and because it was eye-opening. Those, to me, are two ingredients for a tale worth the telling.

Let me explain how it happened. For background, I am a 45 year old professional married man.

Late last year, my wife was away for the weekend, which was rare for her. I seldom got much time to myself, but we get along pretty well so it's not an issue. What is an issue is our respective sex drives. Mine is still high but hers... well, let's just say it had been several months since we'd been intimate.

She called me from her hotel that evening and we chatted for a while. I told her I loved her and wished her goodnight. She'd head straight to bed, I knew. I waited half an hour. Then I put my plan - and I had planned it, in a fashion - into action.

First, I took three large lines of coke. I don't recommend this to anyone as I believe it can bring out some pretty basic instincts. I don't think it makes you a good person, quite the opposite, if anything. But I knew it made me horny, and it did. I also knew it would give me the confidence needed for the next step.

At midnight, I left the house. I was heading for the red light district and I caught a night bus to Soho. I'm pretty streetwise but you've got to watch your back round there, especially at night. Hustlers and scammers everywhere. A couple tried to approach me and I brushed them aside. I knew what I was looking for, but did I want to find it? I did and I didn't.

When you're next in London's West End, you might notice little signs in scrappy doorways, usually for 'models'. These are walk-in brothels and I'd long known about them. I'd never been in one before. I'd never dared. But I was horny as hell and I kept I watch for the signs.

I passed two that were shuttered up before finding a third with the door open. This was the moment - the Rubicon. I walked straight in and up the first flight of stairs.

On the first landing a sign read 'Ebony babe'. I hadn't thought of a black girl and it excited me. But the reception door was closed. I headed up further and saw an open room.

If you've never been in one of these places, let me describe it to you. You go in to a tiny waiting area, where the madame sits. Mine was bored and watching TV. She handed me a menu, which was simple enough; oral, sex, thirty minutes or an hour. I asked for 30 minutes and she told me the prostitute would be with me shortly. She was so laid back she put me at ease. I began looking forward to what would come next.

You might ask was I feeling guilty at this point. Oddly, I wasn't. This was sex, pure and simple. It was seedy and dirty and it was something that felt so wrong it was satisfying... it's hard to explain, really. The door opened and I was ushered inside.

I hadn't really pictured the woman I was going to have sex with, but it wasn't the woman before me. She was a size 16 at least. She was wearing black lingerie which exposed her enormous breasts. The 'who will i get' vibe was part of the experience, I guess, and i enjoyed it even though i was a little disappointed. I smiled and she closed the door.

"Take your clothes off," she said. "I'll be back in a minute." She had an Eastern European accent. I watched her arse wobble as she left the room and I stripped naked.

This was the first time I really considered what I was doing. I was nude in a strange bedroom on the second floor of a Soho knocking shop. I was waiting for a prostitute I didn't find attractive. i was trying to make myself hard. it was as downmarket as it gets, besides picking up a street girl. it felt degrading. But still I stayed.

She came back in and introduced herself as Simone. She was from Hungary and was studying to be a teacher. This was her side gig. The more we spoke, the more I liked her. She was funny and kind.

"You have a great body," I told her, and I was starting to believe it. Because I liked her company, the thought of fucking her was turning me on; its odd how the brain works. I rubbed at my cock and stroked my balls. i was struggling to get an erection (a side effect of the cocaine).

"What do you like doing?" Simone said. She was lying beside me with her head on her hand.

"I'm pretty new to this," I said. This was both true and untrue - I had never been to a Soho walkup before. But I had visited one particular prostitute several times in my 30s. Those visits are stories of their own; let me know in the comments if you'd like to hear them. One key difference, though, was the earlier prostitute, Sonya, had been 23 and fit as you like. She had the firmest body. Simone was cut from a different cloth. I slid the straps from her shoulders and her breasts swung free. They were huge but, as I discovered when I licked her nipples, hard. She took hold of my hand and guided it down her stomach.

"I want to lick you out," I said.

She smiled. "You're lucky," she said. "I've just had a shower and I've got a lovely clean pussy."

"Can I see it?"

She pulled off her knickers. Her snatch was totally shaved, although the folds of fat at the top of her thighs made it harder to define. She smelt musky, and I realised that just ten minutes or so before, another man's cock had been inside her. It all felt so dirty but yet... I licked her and she moaned. I found her clitoris with my tongue and I focused there. She had a large and sensitive clit. 'Thank you, thank you', she said, and I genuinely believe she meant it. I licked her for a good ten minutes then lay on my back. My cock was semi erect but I'd been hoping for the full thing by now.

Simone tore open a condom and slid it over my penis. Then she took it in her mouth and I felt it harden. I grabbed the back of her head and guided her up and down. I pulled the negligee from her head so we were both completely naked. She kept sucking until I was stiff as a board.

"How do you like to fuck?" I asked. She squeezed my cock. "Sideways," she said, and turned so I was spooning her. She guided me to the entrance of her cunt and I slid in.

I felt so filthy. I was fucking a hooker in a Soho back alley. I was deep inside her pussy. The seediness of it turned me on, which was lucky, because her vagina was loose. It was warm and moist enough to do the job but hardly mind-blowing. Do you know who has the nicest pussy I have ever fucked? My wife. And that's actually true, it's out-there amazing.

So despite having a wife with the world's best pussy, here am I, thrusting away at a 35-year old hooker who's probably already serviced countless men already today. I thought of how I was fucking her now, someone else after me. It turned me on. I came three thrusts later.

We actually chatted for a while naked in bed after that, mainly about her hopes and ambitions. I paid and tipped her and I left.

I've told this story in a very matter of fact way because it happened in a very matter of fact way. The sex was poor, although I did enjoy licking her clit. Personally, I think it's important to experience everything this life has to offer. To any men reading this who are in a similar position to mine and who may be considering paying for sex I'd say this.

I've been open about what happened and how parts of the experience were not great. I didn't feel so much like sex to me as fucking. Simple, basic fucking. My female readers will likely disagree, but it didn't even feel like cheating. Just fucking. I don't feel guilty. Everyone needs the odd fuck.

If that idea excites you, go for it. The seediness is part of the thrill. One of these days I'll be back.