Is My Marriage a Trope?

This is a fictional story with a few parts that might be unrealistic, but it's only a story, right? So please allow a little disbelief.

It's full of the usual tropes. Characters are probably caricatures, some readers may prefer more development.

All that said, nothing written here is meant to be personally insulting to anyone. Differences, distinctions, and contrasts are for the storyline, but I'm not putting down and am not biased against any culture, career, schooling, level of education, economic status, race, sexual orientation, occupation. This is just a story showing some contrasts that may lead to conflict.

Story covers about 25 years, so hopefully readers can follow the timeline.

Thanks to BentNotBroken for editing and contributions.

* * * *

For some reason I get a lot of pleasure out of reading about cheating wives and all their reasons. So many stories seem impossible, unrealistic, have crash and burn endings, or endings that are abrupt. I have no personal desire to cheat, I just read these for recreation I guess.

It's also hilarious to read the comments criticizing the writing, especially about the overused tropes. But I wonder, just how many tropes there are? Eventually they've got to be reused!

Sometimes I think my mood changes after reading a story, maybe I'm a little cranky, pissed off, unnaturally quiet, or even sexually aggressive with my wife.

There have been times, only a few, when I've let some of the story plots invade my mind and make me suspect my wife of something, or at least look for whatever signs there may be. Usually it doesn't take long to get past these feelings. There've never been anything close to the signs of cheating with Renata.

On the other hand, my wife isn't stupid. Not at all. In fact, she's really book smart. She didn't go to college out of high school. Neither of us did. We grew up in an area and an economic situation where basically no one went to college, and no one would be able to afford college.

Mostly it was retail work, Walmart, waitressing or if one was skilled, hair stylist and beauty school - none of which were her goals in life.

Us men ended up in a factory, warehouse, truck driving, laborer, rough carpenter, mechanic, and/or the army.

When any of our friend group got married they'd have to rent for a while, work two incomes, no kids, scraping together enough money for a FHA low down payment on a small ranch or bungalow and a used car. Maybe two if we had friends who were mechanics and could keep them running.

None of this meant any of us were stupid or lazy. We all worked hard, after all, sometimes you're stuck with what you were born into. Some are single-parent homes with huge financial strain. Some have serious health situations that cost money and take time away from work. Others run into drug issues, or are born with addiction no fault of their own. Some join gangs just to survive.

Renata was smart in high school. She helped me a lot with some subjects and we dated and went steady. Like every kid in the small town we knew pretty much everyone and pretty much everyone dated each other.

Our relationship grew from being neighbor kids, to years as friends just hanging out with other classmates, to study buddies, to our first kisses as we began dating, and upon becoming exclusive, our less-than-innocent exploration of each other's bodies as we gave in to our hormones.

I can't help smiling as I recall the day we relieved each other of our virginities. Under the light of the summer full moon, we rode our bikes out to ol' man Nevonen's barn, snuck in and carefully made our way up to the hayloft.

Playing a bit of grabass, I chased her up the ladder with her muffled giggles and squeals being music to my ears. We tripped through the deep hay to a comfy-looking spot where I quickly shook out the blanket from my backpack before pulling her close to kiss her sweet lips, falling to the quilt in each other's arms.

The tenor of Ren's moans increased as one of my hands cupped her taut butt cheek while the other gently squeezed her breast, teasing her nipple to perk up. She ground her pubic bone against my hard cock as my lips nibbled along her jawline to her ear and curve of her throat.

My wandering hands moved under the hem of her t-shirt to find the front clasp of her lacy bra and released more than a handful of her tits, their turgid nipples begging for my eager mouth.

Having only played with her naughty bits through her clothing, I was extremely excited at the prospect of touching and tasting every sweet inch of her skin. This is what's called 'young love.'

Resting my forehead on her chest, I had to breathe several deep breaths, trying to control my reaction to her kisses, the touch of her silky skin, the sexy teasing movements she used against me before I completely embarrassed myself and prematurely ruined our special night.

"Randy? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" she asked, innocent concern evident in her voice as she stopped rubbing her mound against me.

I looked up at her, giving a quick kiss to her swollen lips, "Baby! You're just so darn sexy, you're driving me crazy! I want to make this so good for you, too - not just for me. I just don't want to lose control and mess things up."

"Oh, sweetie! There is zero chance that you'll mess anything up with these strong hands and your talented lips, Randy. You should know that by now. I am yours and you are mine. Forever. All mine!"

The steamy look in her pretty eyes drove out any other noble ideas I may have uttered before she flipped me over and straddled me, before whipping her t-shirt up and over her head to jiggle her pretty headlights in my face - still framed by the hot pink lacy scrap of what she called a bra.

I couldn't hear anything from the pounding beat of my heart.

Reaching up, I tugged and tweaked her dark pink nipples, "Come in Tokyo! Come in Tokyo!" Looking back I laugh at how juvenile it was to say that. But I was a kid, yeah, one of legal age and hormonal, but God, just looking at those breasts inspired stupidity!

Her teenage, young, firm, tanned, sleek legs spread wide over my hips as I humped my iron bar up against her crotch, inducing a squeal and giggle. Bending up, I motorboated between her luscious breasts as her throaty laugh turned into low moans when I latched onto a nipple, sucking deeply as my tongue flicked and stroked.

Pushing her scrap of lace off her shoulders, I pulled back, stretching her stiff, rubbery stalk away from her quivering tit before popping off, quickly repeating on her other nipple... back and forth, working her into a panting frenzy.

With a final suck and nip, I slurped off her tit before rolling her onto her back, her fingers scrambling at her button and zipper on her shorts, making my job of slipping them down and over her slight hips and down her legs easier - her matching hot pink bikinis going along for the ride.

As I swept her final items of clothing off her hot little body, Ren's hands literally shredded my old t-shirt down the middle before ripping at my button-fly jeans. Had I not been so focused on the stunning minx before me as I gazed down at her in wonder, I would have been fascinated with her agility as she used her feet with her hands to shimmy my jeans down my ass, conveniently spreading open her secret garden for my eager eyes and fingers as we were now completely bared to each other for the first time.

"Ren, are you sure? Really sure? I will stop if you have ANY doubts about ..."

"Randy! Holy shit! How can you doubt how much I want this with ONLY you! For you! You are my man and I want you to make me yours forever! Slide in me and make me YOUR woman! PLEASE!! Ple - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Yes!!!!!"

Renata's impassioned soliloquy cut off as I notched my cockhead at the wet mouth of her vagina. I slicked up and down her lower lips, spreading her copious glistening fluids around and along the length of my pulsing rod - waiting for her to rise up to meet my motions. A fleeting glimpse of unease flashed across her eyes as she felt the heat and strength which was teasing her, before she caught her bottom lip between her teeth and she lunged towards me as my cock dipped low, spearing her wet, hot hole with my throbbing cock.

Oh lord! Words can hardly describe the myriad of sensations coursing through my body. From the look on Ren's face and the sounds coming from her chest, I like to think that she was feeling amazing sensations like I was. We both froze, blinking at each other with our breathing deep and rapid as we tried to get a grip on this monumental moment in our lives together.

Slow, shallow strokes became steady, deeper pumping as we took liberties with our hands and mouths on the others' fun bits while our 'privates' rambunctiously bumped and ground, triggering growing gasps and moans from both of us as we built up steam. "Randy? Raaaaandddddy... More, more, please, yessssssssss!"

"Ren... Ren... I'm losing my mind! I'm going to cum - I'm going to pull out... "

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Don't stop, Randy!!!! Please! For the love of Pete, don't stop!!! Cum with me!!!"

Young love with firm and flexible bodies creates indelible memories for a lifetime. At that time, we were One...

* * * *

Ren did really well in high school but like most of us she got married to me shortly after and started having kids. I got lucky in that she married me, a factory line worker but she never lost her love of learning. Frequently she'd spend her quiet moments reading all sorts of subjects.

I think she's beautiful, a natural beauty that even without make-up is the girl next door, blonde and a nice body. Not huge tits (certainly not small), nice firm butt and great legs. Even after giving birth to Ricky and Roni she maintained her figure.

Renata was a fantastic wife. She keeps a nice home, is a wonderful mother, a good neighbor and she maintains nice friendships. And she's good to me, especially since I have to occasionally work some overtime as I can to meet the bills for our little family.

Even with the overtime schedule and meeting the kids' needs and demands, we still had really good communication, sharing our thoughts, dreams and our daily events. Good sex too! We were friends, true friends. Yeah, lots of married couples say that but we truly were each other's best friend.

We talked about everything, and when there were issues, we talked through everything. Open honesty was the foundation of our conversations, and though at times we got upset with each other, we were still willing to be vulnerable to each other and not use it to hurt or gain advantage of the other.

Even within our friend group it was recognized how thoughtful we were to each other, and because of that we frequently would be other couple's source of advice. This only helped our relationship, because as we heard what others dealt with, and how they chose to deal with the conflict, we realized how what we had was truly really, really special.

Our 'little family' is just one of the families in our tight knit community. We all grew up together, went to the same high school, the teachers probably taught our parents, so everyone in the area is at least familiar and some are quite good friends.

Many of us have not only kept in touch after high school, but since we all basically stayed in the community and married some of us are quite close. This is one of the heart of America areas, where neighbors truly are neighborly. We all have the same issues everyone else does - economic pressure, health and family issues, marital arguments, running kids around.

The difference here is that we support each other. The washing machine breaks? Someone will spend their Saturday helping to fix it. Got a flat tire? A neighbor will come out and help change it. Need a sitter? Plenty of good families are willing to take the kids even on short notice.

We have regular outings, like watching the high school football team, fireworks, the parade on Main Street, regular backyard get-togethers. Are there disagreements and the occasional drunken outburst? Yep. But that's all part of the closeness of our modest, humble area we are blessed to live in.

About eight years into marriage with a five and seven year old now in school, Renata's homelife lightened a little and I could tell she was feeling a little restless.

"Randy, honey, I was Googling "best careers for professional women" and one of these really interests me, a pharmacist."

"Wow babe," I responded, a little taken aback at such a thought. "Do they make a lot of money? How does anyone even become one?"

"Yeah, a six-figure income but it requires a lot of schooling. I'm thinking, well, you know with the kids all in school now and I have some time, perhaps I can study to become a pharmacy tech as a start."

"Well, Renata, why do you want to work? I mean after having taken such good care of the kids why not enjoy a little time off? Besides, how much would that cost?"

"I'm bored honey. I mean, I love our life but I could use being with adults a little more and using my brain more than figuring out healthy meals and folding clothes. From what it says here it depends on what State we live in, but here it looks like an associate degree certificate program would qualify me as a tech. And they make about $32,000 a year. That could go a long way for our family and the kids' college."

"College for our kids? I know we talked about that before Ren, but that would sure be different from everyone else in this town."

"But don't you think it would be nice to get our kids out of the rut everyone here is in?"

Calling our life a "rut" sort of smarted, but I didn't let on. She may be right, of course, but this 'rut' was a good life. I knew she could do this, but it would cost money.

"Randy, our local community college has a partial online and classroom program for only $10,000! That means I could do some of this at home and some in town. I could work this around the kids and housework. Can I, please? What do you think?"

"Oof" I grunted. "$10,000 is like ten million to us. Goodness babe, I mean, I want to support you but wow, we have a hard time saving as it is!"

"What if I could get a grant or something for some of it? Can you think how we'd make up the difference?"

"I guess I'd have to try and move up at the factory while getting as much overtime as I can. I mean, I could do that but it would take time away from you and the kids."

"But if you did honey, I'd be studying while you're working. Can you see if you can make that work and I'll see about financial aid? Would you let me do this, please?"

"Renata, I love you and want you to be happy. I'll do this as long as you stick with this all the way through, otherwise it will be a waste of time and money."

So that's the way it worked out. I was able to snag a repairman job on the line which paid more, and took a lot of overtime. She did get a grant for some of the tuition and eventually passed the course two years later. With our new schedules, the time we were able to spend together as a family was even more precious.

Now that the kids are seven and nine, they are more self-sufficient, and Renata was able to qualify for a Pharmacy Tech job at the local drugstore. I was very proud of her accomplishment, and the money she brought home was helpful.

It put our income over our expenses so that we weren't so stressed about watching every dime, and that was nice for a change. She enjoyed her job, she enjoyed the recognition from the community for what she accomplished, and I think she felt fulfilled that she was able to use her brain outside our castle.

We were even able to afford a little vacation to Disney World, staying offsite in an efficiency apartment and making our own meals to cut down on expenses. When the kids were at the pool, we made our own pool of liquids in our hotel bedroom! We were able to recharge and our bond and our family unit was stronger than ever.

This was nice for about two years when she began to think that she too could become a pharmacist, but that would require more schooling. A lot more schooling. I didn't think it was necessary because between us we were finally putting money in the bank, but she felt she was topping out at her job and had been watching and learning from the Pharmacist and knew she could do the job.

A little sex, a lot of pouting and pleading twisted my arm, and she was enrolled in the Pharmacy Program at the University about an hour away in the city. This meant student loans, drive time, fewer hours working at the pharmacy and spending time as a family, as well as me working a hell of a lot more overtime.

Eventually the classwork became too much and she had to quit the pharmacy, which put even more pressure on me to work to meet the bills and work in the kids' evolving school commitments. The semesters seemed to drag on over the next six years, because she had to complete an undergrad degree then go into the graduate program to be a full-fledged pharmacist.

About the only saving grace financially was that she paid in-State tuition.

These six years were quite stressful in the home. We didn't see our friends very much. I was working hellish hours, she was away studying or at home studying or with other younger students (obviously) in their study groups.

Admittedly I was jealous of her, mostly because of the time she spent with others rather than me. And the kids would take up any other free time she would have, leaving basically the housework, cooking and cleaning as times we both could be together, jointly taking care of these mundane tasks.

Even at night we were both tired and our intimacy became infrequent at best. And because of that we would become snippy with each other over minor things, but would apologize and blame it on the stress.

There were times, though, I felt she was drawing away from me. Was I jealous? Maybe. Resentful? Yes, I was resentful of the vast quantity of time she was not with me physically or emotionally. Maybe that was the reason behind my feeling of her drawing away. On the other hand, it did seem her attitude had shifted toward our life in general. I couldn't put a finger on it, but there was something different.

She was an excellent student, after all, she was smart. Our kids were 15 and 17 when she graduated and we were in the audience whooping and whistling when she crossed the stage. We had a party at home with family and friends when she made an announcement that changed the course of our marriage.

"Everyone, please settle down, I have an announcement. I want to thank my dear husband for his support over these years without which I would never have been able to complete my schooling. I love him so much for this that words cannot express my feelings.

"But I have some incredible news. The University's Placement Office helped me find a job to use my degree, and Trinity Hospital in the city has agreed to hire me as a full-fledged Pharmacist!"

The room erupted in shouts of congratulations and cheers, for no one in our dinky town had ever achieved what my wife had. However I was shocked. I didn't know about any of this at all, and the hospital is an hour away, that's a daily two hour drive!

I couldn't very well be the downer during the party, so I kept a happy face and accepted everyone's congratulations. But when the party wound down and Renata and I were cleaning up I asked her, "When were you going to tell me about this job?"

She didn't look up but continued to load the dishwasher. "Randy, can we talk about it tomorrow? I'm tired, it's been a long day."

Um, it immediately occurred to me how many Literotica stories have a husband asking his wife a question and she defers to another day? Naturally, or perhaps unnaturally, my heart started thumping at what I was imagining. But unlike so many Literotica husbands, I didn't let it sit.

"It's an easy answer babe. When did you find out about this job?"

She turned around with an annoyed look, and I thought, "Oh shit, here we go."

"Randy, what's the issue here? What did you expect? I worked hard for this degree and this possibility. Are you trying to deny it to me? Are you jealous?"

Smiling, I responded in a kind voice as I walked up to her and gently tucked her long blonde hair behind her ear, "No, not jealous at all babe. I'm proud of you. Super proud! You deserve this. It's just that it sounds like you already took a position, incredible as it is, without us talking about it, that's all."

Unfortunately my kind demeanor had no effect. "Look Randy, you've got to understand that I'm a professional woman now. I'm not changing diapers or washing poopy underwear anymore. I can't run absolutely everything by you now, especially something that means so much to me."

I got a little pissed off, "As I recall, something that meant so much to you years ago when the kids started school was you going back to school. And we talked about it a lot. And I've supported you all the way babe. Something's wrong, I know it. So let's talk, ok?"

Renata looked at me and put her hand on my cheek, "Yes, you've supported me and I appreciate that. You're in the factory all day with people that just don't understand where I've been, the people I had to associate with, the complicated things I've learned. So I don't expect you to understand all my feelings on this, but I've worked for this opportunity Randy. I'm not letting it pass by."

"Who said anything about letting it pass by Ren? All I'm saying is that you made a very important decision on your own without including me. I've got to tell you that it hurts. And this didn't just come up, right? How long have you known about this? When did you even apply for this job? And you couldn't tell me about it then?"

"No, I chose not to. I was afraid you would hold me back."

At that I looked at her. I'm sure she could see the hurt and disappointment on my face.

"Randy, the income is huge, it's four times what you bring home. In no time at all I'll be able to pay off the student loans and you can go back to regular hours at the plant. This is good for us."

I was stunned at the income she'd be making. Now I'm not the kind of man to be intimidated by my wife making more money than I am. Well, ok, I'm a little intimidated. But what worried me is the entitlement, the narcissistic attitude, the sudden independence.

"Ren, when have I held you back? All through your schooling we worked together on schedules, household needs, the kids and their schedules, our family and friends, your exam schedule and studying, your training schedules. We've worked together as a unit on all of this, and now suddenly you're on your own? I don't get it. Why the sudden shift?"

"You see! This is what I was afraid of. I've moved ahead of you Randy. I'm in a different class than you and your factory buddies. My decisions and thoughts are on a different level now and I don't expect you to understand or maybe even comprehend any of this. I guess all I can say is that you'll have to trust me."

She threw down the kitchen towel and headed to the bathroom to shower for bed. The bed was cold with her back to me. I just lay there looking at the ceiling wondering what the hell happened.

Soon we had a new schedule. Renata was up before dawn and out the door for the long drive to the hospital while I got the kids going in the morning, got to the plant and home again to start dinner, take care of whatever, with Renata coming home after we'd all eaten.

She would rave about her new job, the people she worked with, the additional training the hospital offers, the available promotions, the health benefits. We were happy for her but the family dynamic and our communication had begun to suffer from more quaint conversations, along with the rare intimacy.

Again, my mind went back to the Literotica stories, "loving wives." "Yeah, I thought, hell of a category, a little ironic of a title."

One Friday I stopped at the bank to deposit my payroll check and the clerk asked if I wanted a balance on my receipt. When I looked at it I was puzzled, I thought there would be a lot more in it, so I asked for a printout of the last few months of transactions.

Surprisingly, I only saw my checking deposits over the last month-and-a-half. None of Renata's.

"Renata, are you getting paid? I don't see any deposits in our bank account. Did something happen to your payroll?"

I could see her tense up and do the side-eye for a moment. "Babe, that's our joint account for the home. I have my own account for the payroll," she said nervously.

Now I was pissed. "Since when did we ever have individual accounts in this marriage, Ren?"

Evidently she was ready for this conversation. "I knew you'd be upset Randy, but with my income I just want to set it aside for us for whenever. We've been living on your income for years and that's just fine. Mine can be more like a savings account."

"Fine, no issue with that Ren, but why not make it a joint savings account? After all, you just said it's "for us"."

"I just didn't think about that I guess."

She was lying. I knew her too well. "So then are you going to change it to joint?"

"That's too much work, Randy. Just leave it as is."

Standing up and walking over to her I leaned over and said, "Our communication has been going downhill ever since you graduated. You didn't fill me in on applying for a job much less taking it. You're spending less time at home with me and the kids. Now you set up a completely separate bank account, and neglected or refused to even tell me about it until I discovered it on my own.

"What's going on with you Renata?"

She got a stern look and responded, "I've worked my ass off Randy for my education and this career. I have a career not a job. The money I make is for me, I earned it and I don't want it spent on frivolous things. I have goals in life!"

If she wanted a fight, here it was: "And I worked my ass off to pay for your schooling all these years, and I didn't set up a separate account, now did I? And I've paid for everything up to the point where you went to school and all through school, years and years of it. Helping you through school was one of my goals in life!"

She stood up to face me, "It's one thing to work to put parts on a production line, it's a totally different thing to work using one's mind to figure out things and learn and put them to use."

"Are you demeaning me Renata? Are you insulting the work I've done to support the family and you, the kind of work we both grew up with and everyone around us has done, salt-of-the-earth people who helped us and backed us and have always been there for us? Are you thinking you're too good for any of us now?"

"Randy, you just don't get it... "

"Yeah, Renata? Why didn't you tell all your admirers at your party that now you were better than them? That you're using your mind and they are not, that your money is now better than the money they earned working with their hands?

"What do you think about your parents, your Dad and brothers who do work like I do? Are they now nothing, not worthy of your attention, respect or conversation?"

"UGGH you're frustrating! You just don't get it!" She stormed away to the bedroom and slammed the door and locked it.

From the other side of the room, "Dad, are you ok?"

I turned around and there were my teens, Ricky and Roni, with sad and hurt faces. Clearly they'd heard all of this. "It's ok kids, parents have arguments now and then. It'll all work out."

The bedroom door opened and Renata marched back into the kitchen. "Randy, when I started at the hospital the Chief Medical Officer took me to lunch as a welcome. The CMO is a woman, an accomplished woman in one of the top positions in any hospital.

"She complimented me on all the work I did to get where I am. She said that I did it backwards compared to so many other women. I got married, had kids, raised them, then went after my career. She noted that while it might have been that much harder to study and do exams, my background as a wife and mother added a higher degree of understanding of patients and doctors than those who started their career right out of college."

"Ok, that makes sense Ren. But what does that have to do with you just going off on your own? Your attitude has changed and not for the better for our family."

"Yes, it has. She mentioned how even professional women suffer misogyny at the hands of men. For example, nurses frequently observe things with patients and try to tell the male doctors but the male doctors look down at 'just the nurse' and ignore their observations.

"And she's seen professional women make less than men in the same jobs, and even be the first to get laid off. That's when she said something really profound, that 'a man is not a retirement plan.' She suggested it would be best for me to keep separate accounts because women never know when men will take advantage of them."

I was shocked at the implication. "Ren, when have I ever taken advantage of you or threatened to leave you or not cooperated jointly with you? How could you take some person's advice about OUR marriage when she has no history with us, or even with you?"

Perhaps I got through to Ren with that question, but then I knew she rejected it when she said, "As I said earlier, you just don't get it Randy."

The next few months were very difficult. Yeah, I paid all the bills, did the shopping, cooking and enlisted the kids to help a lot with the cleaning. Renata made herself more and more scarce with her work schedule.

One day she drove up in a new BMW and came into the house as if this was normal. In our neighborhood the car would really look out of place. The kids saw it and ran outside to look at it and hop in, but Renata yelled at them, "Get out of my car! Don't scratch it, it's new!"

The kids looked hurt at the admonishment. I asked, "What the hell is this?"

"It's my new car. I traded in that old junker I've been driving."

"Obviously. But how did you pay for it?"

"With my money. I had more than enough for a downpayment and with my income I easily qualified for a car loan."

"Well how nice for you. How about we trade in my junker and get me a new truck?"

"Randy, I don't know if your income would qualify."

"I wasn't referring to me, Ren, I was referring to you. How about you contribute to the home and maybe a newer vehicle for me? It seems awfully selfish of you to just be thinking of yourself, much less screaming at our kids in their excitement."

"Randy, how many times do I have to tell you, I have a different outlook now. I need to look like I fit my role at the hospital, not drive around in a ten year old used car."

"The car ran just fine and looked pretty good. But I understand we now embarrass you among your new colleagues." I turned and went into the house.

Two months later she got pulled over for speeding, and the cop discovered her car insurance had expired. So she got written up for speeding and no insurance. At home she stormed in the door and screamed, "Why didn't you pay the car insurance?"

Looking confused on purpose I said, "I did pay it. Every month."

"Then why was my insurance expired? I got ticketed for no insurance!"

"Oh, you mean your car insurance babe? I thought you were paying for it, it's your car!"

She slammed her purse on the kitchen table and glared at me. "You pay the bills around here Randy, it's your responsibility."

"Yes, I pay the bills for the home, that is, all the joint bills. The car is in your name. The loan is in your name. The insurance is in your name. You don't contribute a dime to the home and since you decide to use your money for your own things, like a car, you can use your money for all the things your money buys, like a car.

"Besides, the insurance on that new fancy car is more monthly than we had to pay on the two cars we had. Pay your own damn bills babe."

Needless to say, it was another cold month of communication.

This couldn't go on much longer. I had been trying to find ways to communicate with Renata but it seemed like she had nothing but resentment for me, the kids, the home, our neighborhood.

I talked with her parents who were also concerned. At family dinners she put on airs, insinuating that she was more important, sophisticated and acted bored at what she now considered mundane conversations.

Even her female friends that we had were feeling slighted. We all raised our kids together, hung out together, and picnicked together. Occasionally the women would go to lunch together, help watch each other's kids, even help when one of them was ill by bringing over dinner or helping with household chores.

But now Renata wouldn't even hang out with them, much less respond to a phone call or text. When they'd see me their faces would show concern or sadness for me. It was no secret to anyone that our marriage was failing.

What could I do? Flowers, notes in her purse, sweet texts? Those didn't elicit anything.

One night she texted that the evening pharmacist was ill and she was going to do a double shift. This wasn't unusual. Many times the crowded ER would require a lot of drugs from the pharmacy and it would overload the staff, or the pharmacist would need to be available to advise on certain medications.

So I decided to catch up on Loving Wives stories, as it had been some time. One can go down a rabbit hole with stories, next chapters, similar stories, the comments section. And here we go with the suggestions being implanted in my mind from the tags "cheating wives."

"What the fuck,' I thought. "Kids, I'm going out for a while. Don't stay up too late, ok?" I had good kids and over the past several years with Renata's heavy schedule the kids and I have become close. Truly it's been hectic but the blessing is the wonderful relationship the kids and I have built.

The hour drive to the hospital seemed to go quickly as my mind was elsewhere with all the possibilities floating around my mind. Let's see, what happens in the LW Lit? I could walk in on her bent over a table getting fucked. She could be behind a curtain with a patient giving a handjob. Maybe she's getting gangbanged by a bunch of doctors? Or giving a blowjob to a janitor? I had to work to purge those thoughts from my mind. I had no cause to believe any of that with Renata.

The parking lot wasn't very full at night and I could walk right in and find the pharmacy. As I walked in, the pharmacy didn't look busy at all, then the tech stood up from reading her phone and offered to help me.

"Yes, I'm looking for Renata, that is, Mrs. Williams, the pharmacist?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," the tech responded. "Her shift ended at 5 today. She won't be in until tomorrow."

The tech looked at me with an alert face, probably because of my expression. But I understand why. My face had turned red - at least I think it did, because I felt the flush of blood coursing through my entire body. It was rage.

"Who is the pharmacist on duty tonight? May I see him?"

When he came up to the counter I asked, "Are you the regular pharmacist on the evening shift?"

"Yes, I am. May I help you?"

"Well, I thought my wife was working tonight on your behalf." I sort of said that pretty fast, probably because I was worked up.

But it hit the mark. His face fell for a moment as he looked at me, then tried to recover. He knew something but tried to simply pass it off with "Oh, she left at her usual time."

But I caught on. "Do you have a private area we could talk, perhaps a consultation room?"

He looked at me for a moment and shook his head slightly as he looked down, then sighed. "Look Mr. Williams, I don't want to get involved between you and your wife. I hope you can understand."

Then he saw my eyes begin to water, my heart was cringing, knowing something really bad was going on and my marriage was probably over. But that must have melted his heart as he motioned to a small room off the lobby.

I sat down, and he pulled a chair next to me and put his hand on my shoulder. Frankly, that humanity was too much for me to bear and I broke down sobbing. This man was a good man, he sat with me until I could gather my emotions.

"Look, I know I'm putting you in an uncomfortable position, but something's been off for a while ever since she graduated and started working here. Just tell me what I should know, please?"

"Listen, I'll tell you what I know and you do with it what you want. It shouldn't be hard for you to keep my name out of this, right? I have to work with people around here, you understand?

"Renata is a beautiful woman, and very competent. She came in here and immediately made an impression on the doctors and administrators. As pharmacists we get invited to quite a few meetings throughout the hospital, so we're well-known. And at times this is a pressure filled atmosphere, both in the pharmacy and the rest of the hospital.

"Sometimes we must work closely with doctors and staff, and in difficult situations. At times we need comfort just like I'm giving you."

He paused and looked down, as if what was next to be said was hard.

"Renata, well, she's pretty good at helping doctors through some tough times. She's a good listener, has soothing words and a good perspective, probably because she's raised a family. I've seen her in action and it's impressive. She's probably a good mother and friend given her kindness. But - - - "

He stopped and looked at me. Our eyes met and looked at each other as if there should be a moment of recognition, some extra-sensory perception of words untold. I said, "But, just say it."

Sighing and reaching out to my shoulder again, "Look, there are a lot of rooms all over this hospital and there is a hotel next door that the hospital has discounted arrangements with when the hours get too long and doctors and staff are on call. Sometimes relationships develop amidst all this stress, comforting relationships, and sometimes those relationships become more, um, important than, um, others."

"You mean, like a marriage?"

He nodded. "Unfortunately, yes. It happens a lot in hospitals. And besides that, there are egos from certain high-level doctors that are attractive to some of the nurses and other women, there is opportunity, and there is a sort of unofficial code where these dalliances and affairs are known but kept confidential within these walls."

"So if I understand you, given this code, this is why you want me to keep your name out of it, right?"

"That's right. And the reason I'm breaking the code is that I have a wife and kids like Renata, and I don't approve of any of this and I don't participate either, even though I've been tempted and approached. But for my sake, please, you didn't hear any of this from me."

"Good enough, I'm good with keeping you out of it. Do you know where she is now?"

"There's a young doctor who she's been involved with. They're next door at the hotel. Sometimes she stays late up there in his office. Once I was in a long meeting up there and I heard them in his office. I heard through the grapevine that they also do it in the old hospital wing that has a number of empty rooms getting refurbished but still have beds."

I gave this man a hug and thanked him profusely for his kindness to me and he wished me the best. So I walked next door to the Comfort Inn Suites and took a long shot guess that she might have registered under her name.

Presenting my drivers license I said, "Hello, I'm Randy Williams and I'm meeting my wife here. I need a room key." The desk clerk looked at me wide-eyed and checked my ID and address then began stuttering, "Um, um," so I knew she knew what was going on.

My wallet was open and I pulled out a twenty and said, "I know that you know. Just give me the key card."

As I went to the room I wondered, "God, this is such a LW trope it's ridiculous. Now what the hell am I supposed to do, run in and beat him up? Take pictures? Ask her 'how long' or 'why?'" Truthfully I really didn't have a plan.

Then it hit me, what if they are intimate or even fucking? What then? Is it divorce? What about the kids, the assets, everything! I had no answers, however, the betrayal I was feeling but not yet proven was too strong to stop me.

But to Literotica's credit I remembered the stories and fortunately pulled out my cell phone and got the video going and as quietly as possible put in the key card and slowly, quietly opened the door.

Evidently they didn't want just a room and a bed. This was one of those suites where the bathroom was immediately on the left, a closet to the right, straight ahead was the living room, with the bedroom to the side through a door. I guess I lucked out because they wouldn't see me entering.

The bedroom door was closed so I tried to listen through it without much success. So I turned off all the lights so I could nudge the door open without light coming through to their room, but they had table lamps on a low setting. I heard them talking.

The male voice said "Baby I'm almost recovered and ready for round two. Maybe you can fluff me up so we can get started sooner!" Wow, I was glad my video picked up that disgusting line.

With a light laugh that used to warm my heart during our pillow talk, I heard my wife say, "I wonder where that expression came from. A hard cock like yours isn't really fluffy! And I don't think of fluffy when you're plowing me with it!"

They laughed together, and the man said, "I love how you worship my cock. You know you've made your blue-collar husband a cuck, right?"

She laughed at the remark. She laughed? It was all I could do to let this play out and not beat the shit out of both of them!

"Yeah, but he doesn't know it which makes it even funnier. But really, I love being with you. It feels so real, so right. I could do this every night with you."

"I'd love that Renata but you'd have to get rid of Mr. Blue Collar first."

"Well the kids will be out of the home soon, so we'll see what happens. In any case, I can't stand living in that small home anymore. It just doesn't fit me and my needs."

"That's because your husband is holding you back Ren. You've surpassed him in every way. I know you're not fucking just me. That's the way it is here in the hospital. But whoever you fuck here is a lot better to be with than your old husband."

"Hey, that's rude! He and I are the same age! Are you calling me old?"

"Haha, no, no. Just an expression. It's just getting boring hearing you talk about him and how he's held you back all these years. You should have gone to college right out of school, think of how much further ahead you'd be?"

"Easy for you to say Mr. Rich Guy! I had to scratch and claw to get where I am, besides, I had to raise my kids all these years all by myself."

She was making statements that were infuriating me. All by herself?! How much time did I spend taking care of the kids while she was studying? And holding her back? I was the proverbial "wind beneath her wings" to help her achieve her dreams!

"I know, you've told me and I'm impressed at what you've accomplished. Like we've all been telling you for months, you've risen far above your upbringing, far above your friends and even your family, like your husband. You deserve so much more than they can give you now. So keep your goals in front of you, you deserve the best and finest Renata!"

"Thanks. I've been telling myself that for months but then I have to drive home for an hour thinking of what it will be like to park my nice car in that small driveway next to his old beat-up truck, then walk into a 900 square foot dump. I deserve better and will get better very soon."

"How about having a better cock now? Are you ready?"

I slipped the camera lens around the door and could see there was enough light on my screen to witness their fucking. First he was feasting on her wonderful, delicious breasts while her eyes were closed with a grin on her lips.

His hands were cupping her ass cheeks and her hand was rubbing his cock, thumbing his head and circling it, eliciting his moans into her breasts. She bent down and began to lick and kiss the head of his cock while he threw his head back at the sensation. She took his cock into her mouth and clearly gave him a better blow job than she'd ever given me as her husband.

I was envious of her passion and intensity on another man's cock as she bobbed her head up and down and as he began fucking her mouth. Clearly she was enjoying it as she looked up at him with passionate eyes while her mouth was full of cock.

But then he pushed her away, "I'm too close, you've got to back off. Get on your hands and knees!" She complied and he lined himself up and gently inserted himself while she began pushing back, humping him for more dick. I could see her rocking back and forth, her breasts swinging, her head hung down with her hair falling around her face as she grunted and concentrated on her pleasure.

"Oh your pussy is on fire! Squeeze me baby! Squeeze me!" he urged. Renata slowed down and I watched the screen as she turned her head to look back at him. Then suddenly she started pushing back on him faster and faster and grunting and panting and whispered loud enough to hear, "I'm close, I'm close, keep going, don't stop. Don't change anything! Keep going!"

And only after a few seconds more she screamed her orgasm, probably loud enough for the next room to hear followed by whoever this guy was yelling, "UGHHHH!" when he blew his load in the pussy I thought belonged to me.

They both slumped over next to each other to catch their breath, they're bodies having a visible sheen of sweat in the low lamplight.

What did I do next? I figured I'd witnessed enough but I kept the 20 minute video going and decided to really fuck this all up and opened the door.

Now, I didn't know what to say and I decided at this point to not say anything. I might be too deep in at this point and I didn't know any legalities. I was just pissed and I wanted them to know they didn't have a secret anymore.

Then they saw me. Boy did they ever see me. Holding the camera up while looking at them.

"Shit, SHIT! Who are you?! Get the fuck out of here!" he yelled.

Renata just looked at me with a shocked face, sort of the one Ghostface wears in the Scream movies. No words, just utter shock, panic, fear, embarrassment, humiliation. I don't know how many words could fit into one face's description, but there are probably more.

They both stayed on the bed. He grabbed a sheet to cover his privates while Renata tried to tug it up enough to cover her breasts. They just sat there, scared I guess, awaiting their fate perhaps. But like I said, I didn't know what to say so I said nothing.

Maybe saying nothing was even worse for them than if I did say something. Looking back, I denied them the usual responses to anything I might have said. Like, 'It didn't mean anything,' or 'It's not what it looks like.'

Now that I think about it, by not saying anything probably left more questions for them for which they didn't have answers. And uncertainty like that is disarming and creates a lot of fear and anxiety.

I saw his pants on the side chair and walked over and took them, then left the room to their cries and yelling, then took the stairs down to the lobby and left. Outside I stopped my video, took his wallet out and took a picture of his drivers license.

Thinking better of this, I went back inside to the desk clerk and asked her to please return the pants to my wife's room.

Perhaps one may think blue-collar workers are stupid, but I have a home computer and know my way around it. Heck, in this day and age you need to know how things work if you want your wireless internet, TV, phone, car, whatever to work. So I made sure I uploaded my video and pictures to my personal dropbox account, also my Google Drive, then I made a few USB copies and put them in my truck.

Even though it was late, I called in to work and let them know I was taking several days off. After all, with all the overtime I had worked, I had accumulated a ton of comp time. So I stayed up with the lights off and waited to see if my loving wife would come home.

She didn't.

I figured maybe I would have done the same. If you're caught, then you might as well enjoy the rest of the night, right?

So the next day I called the hospital pharmacy to make sure she was there and she was. I wonder what the staff thought when she wore the same clothes to work. Maybe she stopped somewhere and picked up another change of clothes from Walmart? Who cares now.

Since she was at work, and I got the kids off to school as usual, I Googled "shark divorce attorney near me," and found Scarlett Jennings who agreed to see me in the afternoon and emailed me a checklist to prepare in advance.

Basically we have a home that is almost paid off, our joint checking and savings which she had never paid into, my 401k, my car and "her" car, and a bunch of household items. Simple. Oh, and a 15 and 17 year old, almost 16 and 18.

Up to this point I thought I'd be more emotional about her cheating than I was. Perhaps it was a delayed reaction, or perhaps things had become so difficult over the past months, maybe longer, that I had already grieved somewhat. Maybe I was stoic because I was a man. But I may be a blue-collar worker but I'm not stupid either. Sooner or later I know I'd pay an emotional price.

Scarlett Jennings was one hell of an attorney. She normally doesn't take men as clients, but when I told her my story she was eager to burn the bitch. Oh, the bitch is my wife. But she also wanted to burn Dr. "Quack" - my name for the asshole, and go after the hospital as well.

Asset split was easy, and I'd get half of whatever her bank account and investments were, and with the income disparity I could get alimony and child support. Scarlett also figured out how much she should have been contributing to the monthly bills. There was a very good chance I'd get custody because the kids still live with me and I've been their primary caretaker.

I also put in a request that she pay the children's education since I paid for all of her education.

This seemed like a pretty good deal to me. I wouldn't end up living under a bridge in a van.

Well so far I hadn't heard from Renata, no voicemail, no text. Ok with me! I really didn't want a confrontation for now, I had no idea what she would say, and frankly, how can you mend a marriage when someone is so unthankful and so callous towards those who showed so much love and sacrifice?

Does "sorry" cut it? Does "I'll do anything" really seem like some sort of performance guarantee? How can anything that is now said really have any assurance, any dependability, any trust, any substance?

The problem with infidelity is that it is always there. One can make a mistake and be forgiven and people move on and rebuild trust. But some so-called mistakes are too huge for the hurt ones to move on. How can you not have it in the forefront in your thoughts forever?

And the burden of getting over it isn't for the offender, it's for the offended! So the person that does the bad deed seems to get off easily with happy memories and life goes back to 'normal,' while the betrayed person has the huge burden of having to get past it.

It's not fair.

Reasoning this way, I thought I'd add a burden to my deceitful and unappreciative wife to deal with by going to her parents, who were surprised to see me in the afternoon since I wasn't at work, and were happy to see me since they loved me so much. Yeah, I was a great dad and husband, and a pretty good son-in-law.

Should I have shown them the video? Probably not. It crushed them. Plenty of crying and anger and uncertainty with no answers. And they could see where I was headed with this, straight to divorce court. They didn't even try to ask if I could reconcile.

But you know what? As things settled down they acknowledged that Renata had withdrawn from the family. It was a topic of conversation among the brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, cousins. They knew there was trouble in our 900 square foot paradise. It was a small town, the women all knew each other.

By the time I got home the kids were home from school and I could tell something was up with them, and I knew it was probably me. Kids are smart, they are perceptive. "So guys, what's up?"

"You tell us, Dad. Are you ok?"

My smile shifted to the side of my face for a moment, then said, "Let's sit down and talk. You know Mom and I have had some problems lately, right?"

Roni blurted out, "And you're getting divorced I bet."

"Yeah, probably. Just remember Mom and I both deserve your respect and obedience, we're both still your parents and we both love you."

Ricky said, "We know Dad. It's been obvious that something is going on and it's probably with Mom. She's, like, written all of us off. I wouldn't be surprised if she's cheating on you."

I must have looked shocked, because Ricky blurted, "I'm sorry Dad! I didn't mean - - - "

"Hey son, it's ok. Just relax. I didn't think it would be that obvious to you kids. But I found out for sure last night. That's why it's all over between Mom and I. Only she doesn't know any of this yet. She didn't come home last night when I caught them."

"You caught them? Holy shit!" exclaimed Roni.

"Listen kids, you both are basically of age. Ricky, you're almost out of high school and Roni you'll be sixteen in another month. Each of you have choices of who you want to live with. I'm not going to try and influence - - - "

I was immediately interrupted by both kids simultaneously, "YOU DAD! You!"

This is when the emotional toll from all this began to flow. I began to cry uncontrollably at the affection and devotion shown by my beloved children. They came to embrace me and we all cried together until we were cried out. I expressed my love for them and how I'd always be there for them. It turns out that crying is cathartic, a huge relief from everything that had been building up in me. And crying with those you love is vulnerable, and brings us all closer together.

Rather than cook, I decided to take the kids to Outback for dinner. We might as well eat good food and enjoy ourselves because the next days and weeks were going to get messy. I asked Ricky if he wanted to go to college, and he actually did but was concerned about the money. I assured him there would be plenty of money and to start talking to his guidance counselor to discuss a major and a University.

Arriving home we saw Renata's car in the driveway. We sat in the truck for a few minutes, silent. We couldn't avoid any of this any longer. I asked the kids to be respectful, and to just go to their rooms when they got in.

It didn't quite happen that way. We walked through the front door and Renata was sitting on the sofa with a glass of wine. She had put it down and was just about to stand up when Roni went up to her mother, and right in her face said, "I hate you!" and stomped upstairs to her bedroom.

Shocked, Renata looked at me. I shrugged and went to get a beer. I forgot that Ricky was still in the living room, but overheard him say, "Mom, I don't even know you anymore." He went to his room as well.

She went on the attack, "How could you turn my kids against me! What a rotten thing to do!"

Sitting down in my favorite chair I took a swig of beer, then replied, "You, you turned them against you. It was just like Ricky said, you embarrassed us all. I didn't say a thing, they already had it figured out." Then I laughed out loud, which felt really good. "And as for using the word "rotten," hell, that's the pot calling the kettle black!"

Ren sat back down but sat on the edge of the sofa looking at me. I enjoyed looking at her while swigging my beer. Did I really need to say anything? I already had all my ducks in a row: the evidence, the attorney, the paperwork, the kids. Why did I need to say anything?

"Well, aren't you going to say anything?" she asked, trying to get the upper hand.

"Me? Oh, I shouldn't say anything. What right do I have to say anything? I'm uneducated. I'm only a blue-collar nothing man who's "held you back" your entire life, keeping you in this 900 square foot dump, making you raise the kids all these years "all by yourself." No, I've nothing to say, after all, you've greatly surpassed me, the kids, and all of our family and friends."

I loved the calm sarcasm in my voice, duly noted by my soon to be ex-wife's expression.

"Randy, I do love you. I do. It might not look like that after what you saw but I do love you."

I took a swig of my beer, nothing to say.

"Come on Randy, at least yell at me, hit me, do something!"

I finished my beer and set it on the side table, nothing to say.

"Look. I'm sorry you found out this way. I didn't want to hurt you, really, I didn't. You don't understand the pressure at times, and everyone relieves their pressure in different ways. I'm sorry it was this way and I hope you can forgive me."

Now it was time to speak. "Before this so-called "pressure" even started, Ren, you were disrespectful to me and the kids. You began to feel 'smarter' than us as a formally educated and accomplished woman, as if getting that higher education and accomplished persona somehow makes you better than us. You began to feel you could control the marriage - financially and emotionally rather than continue to be a loving partner. That was all before whatever pressure made you fuck lots of doctors at the hospital."

She winced at the "lots of doctors" comment. "Well, all those classes were part of the stress and pressure too."

"Yeah, and who helped you through all that Ren? Did you do it all by yourself? No, I stood by and supported you all the way through graduation. Many times you expressed your thanks for my support and the sacrifices I made for you. You cuddled with me and expressed your gratitude for the sacrifices I made for you. But you've obviously forgotten all those times. The money and prominence crowded out those thoughts and memories."

Looking down, perhaps she remembered some of those times. "How can I make this up to you Randy? Will you forgive me? Can you please?"

"You don't know about this Renata, but there's a website with lots of cheating wives stories. I've read a lot of them, and in many the wives say they'll do anything to make it up to the husband. But tell me, just how do you intend to do that? Any ideas? Or is your highly educated mind going to put it on me to come up with a way?

"What did I do to deserve this other than fund your education, work ungodly hours of overtime, take care of the kids and house, even after you graduated and made big money. So now it's on me? I have to come up with how you can make this up to me? Go fuck yourself."

She flinched at my language, never having heard me say those words before.

"We can go to counseling together, that could help."

"Nah, maybe me and the kids will so we can learn how to deal with your betrayal. But you and I are done. Go enjoy your career. In fact, go pack your bag and meet up with your friend, Doctor Fuckbuddy. I don't want you here in the house."

"What? I'm not leaving Randy. We have to work this out."

"You're now on the "let's work this thing out" train babe. What do you think me and the kids have been trying to do for months now? You've grown apart from us while we were the ones making the efforts, especially me. The kids pretty much have their own life but they've seen how you've been acting.

"Even your parents know. Shit, the entire family knows you've placed yourself above them. Couldn't you see their grimaces at your response to the dinner conversation during Thanksgiving? Didn't you recognize your demeaning comments about your cousin's new foreman job at the construction site?"

"I didn't demean anyone!" she protested.

"Hmm. I think everyone remembers it pretty clearly. For years your cousin's been doing the rough carpentry, scheduling materials, running the jobs. Now the company owner gave him the title of foreman and a nice raise because he was trustworthy and reliable and actually pretty good at getting those homes framed in on time.

"And just after he told his story you said, and I quote, "Well congratulations, I guess, if that's what you want to do."

Ren blanched, "No, I didn't say that!"

"Ha, yes you did. Everyone knew what you said or at least what you meant. You didn't say it with a warm congratulations, you said it as more of an afterthought, as if you were just being nice, but implied he basically was nothing and that you had the upper hand in everything.

"You can't tell me, Renata, that you didn't notice the brief silence around the table after your passive-aggressive insult."

Renata sat thinking back to that dinner, realizing she actually did say that. "I, well, I guess, I guess I might have used a better choice of words."

Slouching back into the sofa, I said "Yeah, one would expect that of a highly educated woman."

"I'm sorry Randy, I really am. I can understand you're hurt but you're so cold to me. At least you could yell at me or something."

"Why? What good would it do? Don't you see you've basically worn the love out of me like you can wear out a pair of shoes? Yeah I'm hurt and pissed but I have a job and kids and a home to take care of all by myself now. That's what I'm focusing on. And Renata, you've got to leave.

"It's my house too."

"Your house? You mean the dumpy 900 square foot house you're embarrassed to park in front of? The house that doesn't fit your needs? You're free Renata! Get out, you don't need to be here and we don't want you here!"

Up to now there were no tears or apologies, but her eyes were beginning to get wet. "I'm not leaving Randy. I love you. I do."

"I'm sure you do love me. It's possible to have love for lots of people. But there's one person you profess love to that has big conditions to them, and that is a spouse. And if you cheat on that spouse, then that love is no different than it is for anyone else you're not married to."

She looked aside for a moment, then said, "I do love you and I'm not leaving. We have to work this out."

"Well, I guess I can't throw you out but I guarantee you, you're leaving. In fact, I suggest you get online and start looking for pharmacist jobs in far away places and take your nice bank account and find a place to live, because in the near future you'll need it."

This caught her off guard, her highly educated mind attempting to interpret what I was implying. "What did you do Randy?"

"You'll find out soon enough babe." I went to our bedroom and grabbed some of her sweats and threw them out to the living room, then went to bed and locked "my" bedroom door.

The kids and I woke up the next morning and came across Renata sleeping on the sofa with used tissues crumpled on the floor. Strangely no one was sorrowful over the scene. We got coffee going and breakfast, and as Renata was waking up, the kids and I were walking out the door.

But I stopped at the door and looked back at Renata. "I talked to people at the hospital, babe. Given all the stress, I found it interesting that not all the professional staff fucked around. I wonder how they learned to handle the stress without committing adultery?"

I walked out, leaving her with that thought to reason on. Stress might be an excuse for cheating, but it is not a reason.

After dropping the kids at school I headed to Scarlett's office to sign the divorce papers and arrange service for Renata. There was also a lawsuit against the doctor, and against the hospital, but we were holding off on that one until after the divorce.

I was still taking days off work just to handle any fallout from all this shit when my phone rang. "Yeah Renata, what's up?" I said in a bored voice.

She was yelling softly on the phone, so she must have been at work or somewhere she couldn't cut loose. "I just got served divorce papers here at the pharmacy in front of patients! How could you do this? You're such an asshole! I told you I'm sorry and I'll make it up to you!"

Click. Ok, no click on mobile phones, but I hung up on her. Why listen to a rerun of what she said yesterday?

Ringing again. I answered it again, "Yeah?" This time she was more composed.

"Listen Randy, I don't want to get divorced. Put a stop to this so we can just talk this out."

"I've said my piece Ren. You said you'll do anything then put it on me. If you have a solution in your highly educated mind then you come up with it. Maybe there's an un-fuck drug you can get prescribed, I don't know, after all I'm a nobody, I wouldn't know about any of that."

"Randy, come on. If we're going to get past this we need to talk reasonably. Please?"

"I appreciate the validity of communication. I didn't need to get a PhD to know that. But the time to talk is BEFORE you fuck someone other than your husband." My anger was rising, and I didn't appreciate the lack of remorse she had.

"While we're supposedly "talking" on the phone Ren, let me ask you this: If you felt so much better as a professional, as a highly-paid pharmacist, with a fantastic reputation at your workplace, with the great sex from similarly minded people - why would you even want to stay married to someone who holds you back and supposedly doesn't support you, who you're even embarrassed to be around?"

There was a pause on the line, then, "Because I love you."

I had to let that sit for a moment and think. "You say you love me. Those are words, not actions. Love includes looking out for the other person's interests. You used to be like that and it was great. That made our marriage great. But you changed to looking out for yourself.

"Remember when you decided to apply for the job on your own? Accepted the job on your own? Opened your own bank account? You bought your own car? No consideration for me, or even discussing it with me.

"It makes sense that you felt I was holding you back, though it isn't true. But I get it, you're at a different economic and social level now. But it didn't mean the rest of us were less than you, not at all. But that's the attitude you've had and the attitude that led you to do something you never, ever would have accepted anyone else doing in our social circle. I mean, your former social circle."

That hit Ren hard, I know. She had to still have feelings for the relationships she's ignored for some time now. Our social circle of a close knit community was real tight, we all supported one another through bad times and good. We all lived to high standards despite our low economic status, and we were all relatively content and happy with our lot in life.

Understandably, as one gets exposed to new things their viewpoint changes. Look at how teens think they know everything, then they get married at a young age and begin to learn that relationships are difficult to maintain because one has to be unselfish and cooperative. Only a few years into marriage and those same teens are looking to their parents for advice.

Going to college, achieving recognition outside of your social circle, earning higher income and affording the type of purchases that your friend-group can't will eventually create a dissonance where one begins to not really intentionally pull away from the former friend group, but rather become more involved in a new social circle of similar interests.

Yeah, I know what dissonance is. I may be blue-collar, but it doesn't mean I'm dumb.

Ren took a deep breath, I could hear it on the phone. She said, "Can we just take this slow, please, and work through this?"

"Get yourself an attorney, Ren. I'm sure you can afford it." I hung up.

But shortly she texted me in all caps, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE DOCTOR YOU ASSHOLE?!?" I laughed out loud. Actually, I replied, "LOL." Seems to me that he also got served for the alienation of affection. I had my cheap shot, but he deserved it.

That evening she stormed into the house and threw the papers on the kitchen table, glaring at me as I was preparing dinner. Time to poke the bear: "Ren, you're home early! Turning over a new leaf, are you?"

"How could you serve the doctor in front of the nursing staff? Do you know how embarrassed he was? And he was furious with me when he came down to the pharmacy and made a scene there! That was a low blow. I never expected that of you!"

Turning to her with the spatula in my hand, "You're the expert in low blows. Low blows while on your knees. Low blows fucking behind my back. Low blows at the Thanksgiving table. Low blows by putting it on me on how to solve your infidelity."

"Uggh! I'm beginning to hate you!" she screamed, just as the kids walked in from school.

"Mom?" Roni said. Renata turned around with a mixture of glaring, alarm, embarrassment, and confusion and stuttered, "Roni, go, um, g-g-go to your room!"

Roni just stood there, her face turning red and about to blow. "Fuck you Mom! If you hate Dad that means you hate us, too! You're not my Mom anymore!" And she just stood there with a hateful face standing up to her mother.

I decided to stay still and let this play out. I didn't like the language or disrespect, but Roni had to get her emotions out, plus, Renata had earned that response. What are the expressions? Oh yeah, 'make your bed, sleep in it' or 'fuck around and find out.'

Ren decided to do the calmer mother routine and deny Roni her feelings. "Roni, you don't mean that and I do love you. Parents have disagreements all the time and this is just one of them. But you owe me respect and I forgive your outburst." And she went in for a hug.

But Roni stepped back and threw a verbal dagger at her Mom. "Respect is earned, not owed. And what is earned can be spent. And you spent your respect on the small dick of a lesser man than Dad. And I do not forgive you for that!"

Oof, those were really hurtful words that hit Renata like a thunderbolt. She erupted into hard crying, her shoulders heaving as she plopped down in the kitchen chair. I think I could hear her saying something like, "I've ruined everything."

She went to the bathroom and then to the bedroom. I got dinner ready and me and the kids ate. I had a plate set for Renata but she didn't come down all evening, so I made a plate and wrapped it for her in the fridge.

By bedtime I went to the bedroom and it was locked. Through the door I said, "Open the door, this is my bedroom, not yours." She told me to go away, so I tried a few more times to get her to open up but she refused. That really pissed me off, and for some reason everything clicked in my mind that this was all over for good.

It was late but I called her parents and told them I was going to pack all her things tomorrow, either putting them in storage or if they agreed, I'd deliver it to them. I was also going to change the locks and keep her from the home and try to do it legally.

They were concerned, they knew the deal, but had not been updated on the lack of remorse or the treatment of me and the kids. So after some explanation they agreed to let me put her things in their garage.

I slept on the sofa uncomfortably, but was up with coffee and breakfast as usual for the kids. Being a single parent, basically as I was, isn't that hard if you're organized. There's just a busier routine and less time for oneself.

She came down dressed for work and grabbed a cup of coffee, remaining silent, then left for work. I got everything neatly packed, photographed, labeled into plastic totes, and delivered them to her parents while the locksmith did his work.

Meanwhile, Scarlett the attorney drew up a restraining order. There weren't really any good legal reasons but it meant it would make Renata have to fight to get it dropped. It was delivered to her work just before she left for home. Needless to say my phone blew up with unanswered calls and texts. All I replied was that her belongings were at her parents.

That evening her father stopped by to talk. Renata was going to stay with them while she figured out what to do. He said she alternated between aggressive-angry and sobbing-sad. This is when I realized she had finally read the divorce paperwork, and things were beginning to get real.

The thing I found interesting is that her Dad had not said anything about Renata feeling any remorse over her cheating. That's something that was going to bother me for some time.

Her Dad needed a break from the drama and just wanted a beer with the man he considered a son, so we enjoyed a bit of guy-time on my humble backyard patio until my doorbell rang.

As I went through the living room to answer it, Ricky was already there looking at a familiar man dressed in scrubs. It was the guy. My anger flared inside, but with Ricky there I had to hold it together.

"Ricky, this is the man who fucked your mother and your family. Say hello to the asshole."

Ricky is a big kid, six foot tall and 200 pounds, works out at school and is on the wrestling team. He didn't say a thing but threw a punch right in Asshole's gut. It was a glorious punch that sent Asshole to his knees heaving. "That's how I say hello to assholes, Dad."

"That's my boy!" I smiled and patted him on the head in fun. The asshole looked up from the ground and gasped, "I guess I deserve that but I need to talk with you."

Ren's Dad had witnessed what Ricky just did, and he walked up and grabbed the Asshole by his rich, full head of hair and made him stand up as best he could. "You better be brief."

The young doctor was scared but he managed to start talking. "Look, I got the papers you sent and want to actually thank you for just doing it at the hospital instead of my home. I'm at your mercy, please don't let my wife know. I'll do whatever it takes."

Suddenly I had an idea, brought him in and called Scarlett on speakerphone. "Scarlett, the asshole who fucked my marriage is here and wants to make a deal. Would it be legal to write an agreement where he funds Ricky's full college tuition in return for me not sending the pictures and videos to his wife?"

Scarlett laughed over the phone, "No, not really, that's sort of called blackmail. But legal or not, Randy, it seems he has a lot of incentive to set up a trust to pay Ricky's tuition, like a gift."

"Tell ya' what doc, you see an attorney tomorrow and draw up an irrevocable trust for my son and fully fund four years of college, and I'll leave your wife out of it. But I'm still going after the hospital. You'll have to deal with that fallout."

He thought for a minute and nodded. We let him leave on his own two feet.

* * * *

Over the next few weeks Renata's attorney played the usual response and delay tactics while Renata worked her parents and relatives. Over time the story about me and work and the doctor shifted around in terms favorable to her, so she thought. But the evolution of her attitude over the prior several years was well-known by now, and what everyone knew I had done on her behalf, along with what was known about how well I looked after the kids, only made her spin of the story make her look even worse.

Her attempts to play the situation out legally and by trying to sway family opinion eventually drifted off to nothing and were replaced by silence. Perhaps she figured out the fantasy she fled to wasn't as exciting as she dreamt it.

Life went on for me and the kids over the next weeks and months. It really wasn't much different than before, just that Ren was gone just a little more than before. Which means, basically, gone.

The nice thing is that our community still continued to function. We had a nice time with neighbors: burgers and mini-golf with several families, a trivia night, a big block euchre party of all things, and planning for the neighborhood picnic.

Plenty of our friends looked after us. Initially it was consolingly, shocked at my wife's behavior, then acceptance of it, then relating stories of her withdrawal from them over time, even some comments about her dismissive comments and superior attitude.

Those of our economic level may be lower middle class, but we work hard and love our families and friends. But it doesn't mean any of us like to be shit upon, and we know what it's like to be shit upon. Trickle-down economics never trickles to us, those are just words anyways. We know it's more like "piss on the downtrodden" economics. And for all the things that are supposed to help the middle class, the best thing is good friends who are there in one's time of need.

All of that certainly helped us not only manage through the loss of my marriage and the kid's mother, but begin to cope with our feelings of loss, anger, and hurt. As the months went by in the divorce process we began to have what can be called a "normal" life, for all that "normal" really means.

I think "normal" is just the in-between the highs and the lows, and acceptance of a situation or circumstance and dealing with it successfully. It doesn't mean we like the situation or circumstance, but what is, is, and we deal with it successfully, or crawl under a rock.

Then one day we heard that Sally, one of Renata's former best friends, required a procedure at the hospital that would require a few overnights. The news traveled through the community quickly that the procedure went well and she was up and around. A week later she showed up at my door.

"Randy, can I come in and talk please?"

"Certainly! I'm happy to see you out and about, Sally! How's the recovery going? Looks like you're doing pretty good. Come on in and have a seat. Coffee?"

"I'm healing up well and getting around ok, thanks. Everyone's been pretty helpful to the hubby and kids while I've been moving slowly, but that's the benefit of where we live, right?" Sally replied as she took a seat at the table, waving off a cup o' joe.

"You've got that right," I admitted.

Sally continued, "Maybe you should sit down as well because I have to tell you something I don't think you know. But maybe you do."

I sat, curiously wondering what this was all about.

"The doctors got me up and walking around as soon as they could for a better recovery, so I was walking the hallways rolling the IV pole with my IV drips when I heard a noise, well, some noises coming from a room that didn't have a patient name on the wall. So it should have been empty.

"I don't know why I did this. Maybe I was curious, or bored just laying around all day healing. But I snuck open the door and looked in. And Randy?"

Sally looked at me sheepishly.

"Go on Sally. What did you see?" I think I knew where this was going and appreciated her concern.

"Randy, um, I - well, I saw Renata on all fours on a bed with a doctor having sex with her doggystyle, and another doctor kneeling on the bed in front of her and she was giving him head. I didn't have my camera with me to prove this, but I swear I'm telling you the truth. I'm really sorry to tell you any of this but just thought you should know."

She had an embarrassed look, so I got up and put my arm around her and thanked her for her friendship, concern, and honesty. "Sally, good friends like you are hard to find. Thank you for letting me know. I am sorry you have been put in this situation."

I got a comforting hug back from her before she sighed and stood up, saying, "None of our girlfriends can believe she cheated on you. But frankly, over the past few years we didn't see her as much with her work and class schedule, and when we did? Well, it wasn't the same old Renata.

"She seemed "SELF"-everything -- self-absorbed, self-entitled, self-opinionated, self-aggrandizing. It was a snobby attitude. We were all polite to her but it was like we weren't good enough for her. She wasn't directly insulting to us, but we all felt like she was patronizing us."

"I'm sorry you had to experience that Sally. Any of this."

"Randy, the girls and I all have talked about this for the past months since you said you were divorcing her. If that's what we went through we felt so bad for you and the kids because it had to be even worse."

"Well Sally, I don't know if it was worse. She'd been withdrawing for so long that the communication had dwindled to mundane items, not the close and loving things we would talk about in past years."

Over the next few weeks I only heard about Renata from her parents and siblings. Then one day she met me for coffee and complained about the divorce, her work, her family. Nothing was accomplished in this little meeting. I think she was feeling lonely and had no one to really talk with her.

Ren wasn't dealing with the divorce successfully. Her parents ragged on her frequently, especially when they eventually tired of her complaining. She created the situation, there are consequences, now she has to deal with it - like it or not.

Part of her problem was that her new so-called "friends" and "community" at the hospital and medical staff were not nearly as close as the community and friends she left. There was very little sympathy toward other people that was anything more than words. Those relationships were based solely on adrenaline and dopamine surges from medical emergencies to the various aforementioned infidelity encounters. There was no shared history over many years that helped solidify relationships.

Frankly, the few times Ren and I had to discuss matters pertaining to the divorce she revealed her feelings about what she gave up for what she now had. There was regret. But not enough regret. And no remorse. How do I know that?

Another time she wanted to meet for coffee, and I said, "So Ren, you say you miss all of our friends but how often do you even call them, much less meet them for brunch or coffee or anything? To have a friend you have to be a friend."

"I know Randy. I try to be a friend to people at the hospital but it's not the same. They look at me as a newcomer, an upstart. I've never travelled in their clique before and much as I try, I know I'm an outsider."

"Well, it will take some work to reestablish your former friendships but it's possible. Just give it a shot. Maybe you'll be happier."

"Then what about you and me reestablishing our relationship Randy? Putting this divorce aside and working on us. Could we do that? Please?"

"Here's a very important question, Ren. Have you stopped sleeping with the doctor?"

She quickly answered, "Yes." But I thought the answer was too quick and knew what Sally had told me about her getting spit-roasted in the empty hospital room, so I squinted my eyes and looked at her eyes for a few moments. There was something there, but what?

"Ren, I've got to ask, what about sleeping with other men? I mean, after you gave up the doctor?"

There was hesitation and a quick side-eye so I knew the answer already. "Well, we've been separated and the divorce and all, so I've sought out some company, yeah. I'm lonely Randy, very lonely. I don't have my husband or kids anymore, and you already know what's happened with my friends."

"In other words, you've still been fucking around even though you say you want us to get back together."

She blanched at that truth and hung her head. "I'll give it all up to be back with you and the kids."

"Sorry, Ren. I can't trust you'll change your mind later on. It shouldn't be that you'll give it all up to be with us, future tense. You know from your college papers what future tense is? Right?"

I was being a smart ass, I know. But damn, the woman hasn't learned.

"Ren, I might have considered that if you said, "I've given" it all up to be back with you and the kids. But having to "give" it up shouldn't even have been a precondition. If you were sincere, even trying to regain trust, you would have already done it. So just sign the papers and let's move on."

Evidently she had heeded some of my words and tried to get together with her former friend group. From what I heard, the girls were hesitant but kind enough to suggest drinks at one of their homes on a weekend. But what happened after a few drinks is that one of the women asked her how it feels to have two men at a time.

The story goes that Ren was shocked at the question. Earlier Sally had mentioned to some of the group what she saw, I guess she just was shocked enough that she needed some group therapy with the girls. And some of those women, bless their heart, aren't as prudent as others.

Ren evidently was upset and said indignantly, "Why would you even ask such a question of me?" But the alcohol had lessened inhibitions, and of course, sex talk is just too good to let sit.

"Oh come on Ren, we know you're getting divorced because of your affairs. Everyone knows that! But Sally saw you getting fucked in the ass and mouth at the same time," she giggled. "All we want to know is if it's good. I mean, c'mon. We have questions!"

That was interrupted by another woman who said, "Yeah, like, does blowing a guy when you have a dick in your rear distract you from the feeling? Can you still orgasm?"

Heads were nodding, like, 'yeah, those are good questions' coming from the point of view of faithful wives who would never experience getting double-teamed.

From what I heard, Ren was stunned, turning a dark shade of red in embarrassment and started crying. Unfortunately for her, there wasn't much sympathy like in the old days. The girls just let her cry it out, looking at her with sadness but with apathy too, then changed the subject and talked among themselves.

Maybe Ren realized she'd made a new life for herself outside of her family and friends, and that new life didn't mesh with the old. Or perhaps she was too embarrassed to try and reconcile with her old life, her old friends. Or maybe she still looked down on the rest of us. I don't know.

But she agreed to the divorce terms with a few minor adjustments. There were two years of "rehabilitative alimony" for me as the lower earner. She had to reimburse the half of household expenses she refused to pay when she got her high-paying job, and agreed to fund Roni's schooling if that's what Roni chose after high school. And only about a year for child support until Roni was of age. I got to keep the home.

Basically she didn't have much to pay given her very good income, and that was ok with me. For me the most important thing was moving on from all of this and continuing to look after my children. I needed to continuously move forward like the assembly line at the factory.

By that time as well the good doctor had set up a trust for my son's college. But it wasn't over for the doc or Ren. After the dust from the divorce settled in and Ricky started college, Scarlett filed against the hospital and that created a shit-storm.

Unbeknownst to me, Scarlett saw the hospital lawsuit as her big money winner and had hired investigators to find many more staff and doctor "interactions" that violated policy. Scarlett didn't name people individually in the lawsuit, partly to leave the doctor's name out of it, for now, but to simply threaten the hospital with massive exposure.

In private and confidential negotiations with the hospital's attorneys, they learned it was Renata and Doctor "Quack" that set this in motion. Over time it was quietly suggested to the doctor that he find another hospital to practice at and within weeks he was gone. Renata was permitted to stay, probably because she was a woman and maybe not as influential as the handsome doctor.

Ren tried to blame me for this, but my attorney advised her attorney that there was nothing public said about her affair other than what went into the negotiations. Ultimately, the hospital reaffirmed its position on fraternization and romantic relationships especially in matters of those in positions of authority, requiring a signed acknowledgment by all hospital staff.

Consequently the hospital settled with Scarlett for a number that had two commas where even after she took her cut I still had two commas in my number.

So, what did I do with that money? I banked it, got a financial planner and invested it for the most part. After all, I've seen enough of those lottery winner shows where their life is totally different trying to live much differently from their past, and they end up blowing it all and ending up worse off.

As for me, though, I know who I am, and I've seen what money did to my wife. So I still drink the same beer, live in the same house, have the same job, though I do have a new truck now. I hang out with the same guys, and tend to buy more rounds on me than in the past. Me and the kids are generous at the block parties in what we provide, and we've been quietly helpful financially to some who've come across unfortunate difficult circumstances.

That's what friends are for.

When all is said and done, infidelity and divorce is a lot of noise for a relatively short period in someone's life. The kids had a lot of friends, they both have transportation, and are making a life of their own. I still have work, my home responsibilities have lessened somewhat as the kids are becoming quite self-sufficient, so I spend a lot of time with friends and learning new interests, even fitting in some traveling.

When Roni graduated she went to cosmetology school and learned to be a hairdresser. She learned newer techniques and my ambitious little girl said she'd love to open her own salon in the future. Fortunately I can financially help with that.

Ricky graduated college, debt free courtesy of the fine doctor, and found employment in the city an hour away. He had been on his own pretty much for the four years of college, so I was used to that, but I could see that soon I'd be an empty nester, all by myself.

So I rented one of those big RV buses for me and the kids and we took the summer off after Ricky's graduation and traveled the country. Plenty of family time with hiking, camping, rafting, sightseeing. All the things some in our community would never have a chance to see. It truly was a bucket list trip for me and the kids.

Renata saw the kids' Instagram pictures of our trip and commented on them favorably. But I'm pretty sure she was either envious, jealous, or sad that she was not part of that. Truthfully, in some of the more quiet moments like sitting at Yaki Point on the north rim of the Grand Canyon at sunrise, wrapped in a blanket with a hot cup of coffee, I missed her and had my own sad feelings of loneliness, of what could have been. Really, of what should have been.

When Roni graduated with her cosmetology license Ricky and I and a few from the neighborhood attended her graduation. In the auditorium I happened to sit next to a nice brunette about my age who had three children next to her. She mentioned her daughter was graduating as well.

Shannon and I traded the basic things about our family and kids, learning we both were single parents. She'd been a single parent almost twelve years when her husband left her for another woman. I felt comfortable explaining my situation as well.

After the ceremony we all met in the lobby and found out Roni and Shannon's daughter Veronica - also nicknamed "Roni" - were friends in their classes. So I invited everyone out for pizza and burgers at BW Wild Wings as my treat. While I had no ulterior motives, this was a great move.

It was also a 'move' that friends do for friends. Shannon's family, my family, and some from our neighborhood took over a corner and had a grand time! Conversation and laughter flowed freely, food was shared, drinking was modest. It was a happy, clean, enjoyable time.

Shannon and I ended up in conversation among the noisy group of happy kids and friends. She was easy on the eyes, had a nice mom body, and a modest outlook on life. While raising her kids without any support from her ex-husband she had worked up to three jobs at a time, and sacrificed a lot for her kids.

"Wow, Shannon, I know how much work it is to look after two kids, I can't imagine four kids all by yourself!"

"Randy, you know as a parent you'll do anything for your kids. But it also taught them discipline, the value of money, good habits, respect, and the value of hard work. I'm pretty happy how they turned out."

"You should be, they look like great kids Shannon."

"Yours too, Randy, in fact, I think your Ricky and my Sherry might have some mutual interest!" she said as she pointed across the room with a smile.

Both those kids were totally absorbed in each other's conversation, eyes never looking anywhere else but to each other, as if there were no one else in the room.

It was at that moment I remembered young love and how wonderful it was. My heart twinged, perhaps in grief or loss, until I turned my head back to Shannon. Her eyes were looking at me and I sensed a similar emotion in her.

Being the guy, I figured I had to speak first. "Um, Shannon, I trust my son to be a stand-up guy with your daughter, so please don't worry. And, um, I like to think I'm a stand-up guy myself and I'd like to know if I could take you out to dinner this week. That is, well, if, um...."

She rescued my clumsiness. After all, it's been more than 25 years since I asked a girl out!

"I'd love to have dinner with you Randy. That would be nice, thank you." Those were probably the nicest words I'd heard in the last several years.

The dinner date turned into two, then three, then weekend day trips. Both of us thrived on communication, and it turns out we both had exactly the same views on fidelity. What a huge relief! But what was really nice was how quickly she fit in with our neighborhood, with our community.

Six months later, of course, we married and I bought a home to fit in her three remaining teens, Roni, and both of us. It was basically an older large Victorian home in the same neighborhood that needed a lot of work. But I had the money and all the necessary contacts in the community so it worked out so well.

What else worked out well? The relationship between all our kids. If people had never met us before, they would have thought these all were our kids, Shannon and Randy's, not a step-family. I was so proud of Roni and Ricky, and my four 'bonus' kids were absolutely a delight to be with.

I don't want to take much credit for it, but I do think I'm a pretty good Dad. And I treated those kids just like my own, and I treated their mother well. That probably made a big difference in their attitude toward me.

A few years later we had our own Thanksgiving dinner around our big dining room table for eight, where each of us got to say what we were thankful for. During Sherry's turn she said, "I'm thankful for my brothers and sisters, and for the Dad I've always wanted. We all love you Dad!"

All my kids got up and hugged me. Again, I cried and cried with tears of appreciation at the unconditional love I received.

Now the next major event in our life 2.0 was our kids, Ricky and Sherry, that made it all the way to engagement. While we were all happy and supportive, the issue was what to do with our ex-spouses and the wedding. It could get messy.

I called her ex-spouse who was pretty rude on the phone, calling Shannon some ugly names, and refused to pay for any part of his daughter's wedding. I told him not to show up or I'd kick his ass to the street and throw him in a garbage dumpster.

Shannon heard what I said to her abusive ex-spouse and it turned her on. The rest of the afternoon? Well, you know!

My conversation with Renata didn't go well either. She knew I had remarried, but insisted on sitting in the front row at the wedding. There wasn't much of an objection to this, but I told her if she made a scene that she would be the one being embarrassed.

The wedding ceremony was somewhat awkward. I was sitting between my wife and ex-wife and had a hard time relaxing. Renata took her arm and wrapped it around mine. I was not happy with that and tried to pull away. On the dais Ricky looked at me and his Mom and then over to Roni who was the maid of honor, and nodded. Then Roni also saw what was happening.

She came off the stage to the front row and pulled her mother's arm out of mine, glared at her mother for a moment, then went back to the stage. The preacher had to stop the ceremony briefly for this little 'exchange,' then tried to get everything back on course.

Renata was embarrassed and furious at the same time. When we all got back to the dressing rooms for the champagne she let loose on me on how I embarrassed her. The joyous room fell silent at her outburst, but my Shannon stepped in front of me and said, "Renata, you forfeit your rights to this man and had no right to touch him or attempt to claim him. You may find it easy to touch other men, but do not touch mine. I don't share, and neither does he."

Ricky and Roni started a slow clap as Ricky walked up to his mother and said, "Mom, I love you but you've got to leave the past behind and just enjoy the present as it is. Please Mom, don't make me throw you out of your only son's wedding. I'd appreciate it if you'd apologize to everyone here and especially to my wife."

This was humiliation of the highest order for Renata, looking around with everyone looking at her expectantly. Thankfully, she cleared her throat and said, "I apologize everyone. Evidently I'm still paying for the mistake I made some years ago. I hope we can all enjoy the rest of the evening together."

Everyone relaxed and enjoyed the reception, including the mother-son dance. Renata did ask to dance with me, and looked at Shannon for approval. After seeing a nod, we danced to a slow number.

"Randy, you look happy with Shannon and your step kids. You were always a good father."

I just danced slowly with her, I just didn't want to get into anything with my ex-wife who left me behind what seemed so long ago. I'd moved on, happily.

"But I know I hurt you and I know you made a lot of sacrifices for me to achieve my dreams. But now I realized my dreams were more of a mirage. I think I was living the dream already, with a wonderful husband and kids, great friends and family. But I just seemed to drift away from it all. I miss us. I miss our family."

With a heavy sigh I thought, 'Well I might as well say something.'

"Ren, it wasn't the drifting away that you did. It was your attitude and you still have that attitude. You may miss the things you had but what everyone missed was the good natured, kind, helpful, loyal Renata they all knew for all those years. I think you always wanted more, felt dissatisfied or compared yourself with those that had more."

She tucked her head on my chest as we danced.

"You've always been smart. You learn things easily. And there was nothing wrong in your achieving the career success you have now. But none of that meant you were better than us. It all could have worked out well even with that job, but you still think too much of yourself and that's why you don't have meaningful relationships."

While I said all that kindly, but honestly, I wasn't sure how Ren was taking it.

She raised her head off my chest and looked in my eyes. I could see the hardness that had developed over the years, a selfishness. Where did that come from? Was it always there but buried with kids and home life?

"I know that's how you feel Randy, and I've said it to you time and time again. You just don't get where I'm coming from, you can't. You have to be where I am to understand that, and you'll never get to where I am."

How she could say that with a straight face is beyond me. After all, the hospital payout made me a multimillionaire. Some call it a "nickel-millionaire." There's lot of definitions for that term. Mine is that even though I'm wealthy, I still pinch nickels. It's how I've lived my life, and that's who I am.

Am I generous to others? A firm yes to that. Am I wasteful of my money? No. Am I arrogant and proud because of my money? No. And Ren could have remained humble and kind and compassionate as well even with her education and career and income.

I think we grow up in a culture and that's our foundation in life, what we always think we are, our touchstone against which we run all our decisions.

In Ren's case, she desired to move beyond that to an upper-class life. There's nothing wrong with that, but some people might have trouble fitting in. It's one thing to grow up in a certain economic culture or social culture. It's another to try and move into it and fit in.

As the years went on some of our friends would run into Renata at a restaurant, or fireworks show, or a concert. Usually she was with a different man each time. The kids did try and keep in touch with her but it was infrequent, and she frequently had scheduling conflicts for the major holidays. Perhaps she just didn't want to be around family to remind her of what she lost?

Her social media feed consisted of pictures of her meals at high-end restaurants, vacations to far-flung places with pictures of different men, awards she received at conferences.

In a sense I was happy for her, hoping she was finding happiness in her career and relationships. I didn't really know, I didn't really need nor want to find out. It just wasn't my world.

One evening several years later Shannon and I sat and watched the local evening news. The report mentioned a scandal at the hospital where a number of doctors, nurses, and other staff were arrested at a swinger's party in the city due to the drugs being consumed. The drugs, it turned out, were from the hospital pharmacy, where the inventory counts had been altered to hide the theft.

Included in the arrests of the doctors and staff was the head pharmacist, my ex-wife, Renata.

The reporter interviewing the detective asked why people do these things that jeopardize their life and career. The detective answered, "In all my years of experience it's usually because people think too much of themselves, think they're too smart, and think they can get away with it. Pride blinds them to what they may lose, and in many cases like this one, they lose everything."

Shocked as we were, it was a sad end to who had once been a wonderful woman of brains and talent, formerly of love, devotion, kindness, compassion and generosity.