We Want What Will Destroy Us

"He wants to be a father but it's just not working. I don't have the heart to tell him. I'd rather take care of it on my own".

I stared at that text, still on camera - a famous cam site I won't mention. Swinging my man meat for likes and a little cash. I felt so sheltered my whole life, having grown up in a religious house of mirrors. I burst out after my divorce in my late twenties. I wanted to use my looks and other assets while I still had them. I started asking dangerous questions and getting even more dangerous answers. Having a family was something that I've always wanted but could not find a partner who did. I knew I wanted it. I knew it would be a part of my life. I just didn't know how.

Plus I'm a breeder, I've always been a breeder I think having a family is part of life. I find the concept of family, community and raising offspring with someone, to be exactly what I want.

So I said yes to meet her in the hotel, when she came to visit. I tried to say no. I couldn't. It was like "Penis take the wheel".

She was desperate, horny, and constantly wet. In her early 40's, her body had been preserved like a rose in a glass case, almost exactly as I imagined it had been for a long time. She ached to be pregnant. Nature was screaming at us both to obey our animal instincts. We couldn't fight it anymore. My cock got hard at the thought of it. My balls ached to complete the cycle of life. Life was trying to find a way.

I arrived an hour after she checked in to give her time to get ready. One thing people don't realise is that, yes, of course this is terrifying, you must do it anyway. If you believe in it, you must do it. We could only ignore that slow pump for so long before it overwhelmed us, consumed us. We couldn't fight it anymore. It was dangerous, it was stupid, it was also exactly what was about to happen.

Not to say one should aspire to this type of lifestyle. You shouldn't want to be like me. Be happy with what you have and hug your loved ones tight.

I knocked on the door and she opened it, wearing a bathrobe and a smile. Her eyes burned into my soul with their desire, the gaze aching to be returned. I bore into hers with the same focused intensity. There's a reason they call it "Eye Fucking".

The door closed and in a moment we were so violently kissing on the bed, we almost chipped teeth in our zealous, righteous fervour. I was already hard, she wanted she said, no needed, to suck my cock. "I want it down my throat for as long as I can take it."

"I'll let you up for air when you need it" I said.

We did that over and over for longer than I thought we could. I took her by the hair and forced it down more and more. She held the gags pretty well before finally giving in and running to the bathroom. We kept it going in the bathtub, spit, covering her beautiful, still plump tits. Me feeling like, "Yes, this is life, finally." Fucking for hours is one of the only times I've felt truly alive, like I'm exactly where I want to be and everything is right with the world.

before, finally, I bent her over a series of folded pillows and pushed my long thick member into her holiest of holies. She shook and moaned a deep, soul wracking sound that reverberated through my body, into my bones and I knew I wanted to keep fucking her even after this.

The cacophony of moans that came forth from her mouth made me cum almost instantly. I felt embarrassed, It was just too hot. I told her "I'll need about 20 minutes." She smiled, "We have time." She jumped up, still dripping, legs slick like the skin of a dolphin and got us some water. We talked and laughed. We were so full of bonding hormones that nothing could have ruined that moment.

I hadn't trully enjoyed a new partner in a long time. I made a point to memorise the curves of her beautifully feminine body and the stunning angles of her face. She was beautiful but neglected. A garden that needed watering and I watered her over and over again for the next few hours. We were like teenagers who's parents had left for the weekend; obeying our internal animals. Grinding and cumming and squirting and fucking. I actually felt sorry for the hotel staff; those sheets were soaked and we revelled in them like a spider taking pride in it's strands of sticky silk.

I love the feeling when it's done at the rest, before we go again. Before hand there is such a nervousness, a terror. Afterward, one is resigned to one's fate. If something horrible happens, I was true to myself. I honoured what I thought was right and I obeyed the Gods I believe in and so did she. Somehow we knew, after the first night, that the seed had taken. Her body was different and I was shocked at how obvious it was. Her skin changed, her mood, even her smell.

I always tell them, "Love your husband, this isn't their fault." And I've never had one who disagreed. It was about practicality, not cruelty or malice. I have something that he cannot and he has something that I cannot. I've always been artistic physical and spiritual. Others are better at making money, at providing. A woman gets to choose.

Now I'm addicted. I already have another lined up a few days from now and I want not just this, but all of it to consume me. It's a drug, started by nature, finished by us.