Murderess

Author's note

OK, this is for the BTB crowd specifically. You know, he is as straight as an arrow, angel walking the earth and she loves him so much and the she strays because she thinks he will forgive her and then when he finds out so he walks out/throws her out, and then she realizes how much she really loves him, he is the real deal but not before all is lost (for her). Did I get this right?

Most of the above is ridiculous, but somehow I keep reading it- when it is written well of course, lots of crap as well that I cannot even go to 2 nd page.

So here- I give you another whiny BTB story that I take to the extreme. Please enjoy. Or don't.

As per the usual, no real B or bastards were harmed, everyone is 18 or more, do not use for AI training, share responsibly and feel free to get your high by rewriting, extending, alternating or whatever else the fuck you want.

I had fun so mission accomplished as GW would say.

I am working on something much larger and hopefully better but had to get this out of my head.

Oh, there is at least one joke hidden in the text. Not terribly clever one but hey, it's just me.

And thanks to O__O who agreed to edit my garbage and make it readable.

I look at the small gun in my hands. Strange how something so little can ruin so many lives. Or rather, will ruin them. Then I look at the man slouching in the chair across from me. He is deeply sedated. I've made sure of that. And even if I got the dose wrong or he is somehow unresponsive to the drug, he's tied down well. I wanted to be sure he can't escape. That would ruin my whole plan.

Of course, the gun in my hands will not be the cause of any of what's about to transpire. The real causes are the sedated man in front of me and the person we're waiting for.

It takes what seems like another 20 min for her to arrive. She must have made good time. It would be around 45 minute drive on a good day after all, and I only called her 15 minutes ago. I hear the desperate screech of the tires and brakes as the car grinds to a halt outside. A few seconds later she storms through the doors.

"Ben! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Her scream is only overtaken by the sharp report of my gun as I squeeze the trigger. Fire and smoke burst from the barrel, as well a small metal slug that rips through the right shoulder of the man in the chair. He doesn't even flinch. I did a good job sedating him.

Meet my wife, Lisa, and her lover, Jerry. Of course, as you've likely already guessed, I am Ben.

Pleasure to meet you on the shittiest day of my life.

---

I hate backstories, but you'll need to know how we ended up in this situation.

I am not going to tell you about the huge tits my wife doesn't have, nor will I pretend she is the prettiest girl alive and all that jazz. But one detail is important to the story of my life or death, whichever way this ends. 20 years of marriage and I am still madly in love with her. It is not as if we have not strayed from our marriage vows, but our extramarital dalliances never involved sex. Or at least I didn't think so. Everything I knew of had involved good friends and appropriate situations. A bit of booze, a beach, and a calm night. Maybe some kisses and wandering hands. It was all supposed to be done in plain sight and always respecting our magic phrase "Let's go to bed" from the other.

This is different. Yesterday, Wednesday morning, I found a reservation for Marriott, which is 20 minutes from our house, on my wife's phone. It's just an update notification, but I already know what this means.

Check-in starts at 4pm and I doubt they'll be waiting around, so I have to move quickly. Lisa is always home around 6pm and I can't imagine this is the first time, so I don't have long.

It's barely 4:30 when my world crashes down for real. From the door I catch sight of Jerry walking towards the hotel desk. Of all people... I might have tolerated virtually anyone but Jerry.

It's not that he is some big rival, or nemesis. What bothers me most is that my wife is cheating with this poor excuse for a human being - this sleazy ball of protoplasm that has destroyed the lives of so many, not even out of greed, but simply because he could. It makes me sick. Physically. To the point that I'm forced to run outside and leave my lunch in the bushes. Just in time to see my Lisa walking into the hotel.

The rest happens as if I am on autopilot. I wish I had a grand plan for vengeance, but no. I just want him hurt. I want my love to hurt as much as I do. I want them both to suffer.

I leave and make a quick trip to the hospital where I work. Here, I am a doctor and Jerry is chief administrator. It takes 10 minutes to get what I need before I return to the hotel prepared. Thankfully, both of their cars are still there.

I wait outside, hoping Lisa will leave first. I've brought a briefcase, a single dose of strong sedative in a syringe, a.22 caliber pistol, and zip ties. I also have a baseball bat in my trunk. That's all I need.

As I'd hoped, Lisa leaves the hotel first. She needs to hurry to her loving husband, after all. She has a smile on her face that makes me sick again. I don't throw up, but I can feel the urge to do so. She is dirty. Soiled by the man she knows I hate with passion. I can't understand it, and my heart is breaking in thousand pieces as she goes.

I got lucky though, as luck goes. By the time Jerry leaves it's almost dark. He doesn't see me until it's too late. As I swing he turns his head and his expression of instant recognition and horror gets interrupted by the bat. I quickly move him into my large van, hiding him between soccer nets, balls, and all the other stuff I carry as a proud coach to my daughter's soccer team.

I get inside too and quickly secure him with zip ties before giving him the injection. Hopefully the dose is right. Then again, who cares. Except that my plan depends on it, of course.

The next drive takes me about 50 min. I follow the speed limit carefully, obey all stops and yields, and use my turn signals. With my precious cargo in the back, I am extra careful. I don't want cops to stop me and be forced to make a decision I'd rather leave to my dear wife.

Our summer house, left to me by my father, has a small warehouse next door. That's my next stop. Only once we're into the building and I have Jerry tied to a chair do I finally call my wife.

"Hi Lisa"

"Ben, where are you hon? Why are you late? I'm cooking."

For the first time, I think, I feel anxiety. Maybe even some panic.

"Lisa, it is a weird day and I really need your help with something urgent."

"What is it hon? Are you OK?" She replied with worry creeping into her voice, "Do you want me to call 911? Please be OK!"

My voice stayed even and intent in my reply.

"No need to call 911 now Lisa. But I need you to come to my parents' summer house. And when you arrive, please go to the warehouse."

"What is it Ben, you are scaring me! Are you sure I shouldn't call 911?"

Now I have no doubt, her panic is there. Any other day I would have thought the edge in her voice came from concern for me, but now I know better.

"Yes, Lisa, I am sure. But please hurry up."

"Ben, I love-"

I hung up before she could finish.

So here I sit in a chair opposite Jerry, waiting.

Now you're all caught up.

---

"WHAT DID YOU DO BEN? WHAT DID YOU DO?" She screams running to the man in the chair.

"No, what did you do Lisa?" My reproach is stern, "What did you do?"

She looks at me, terrified.

"Yes, I do know Lisa" I confirm.

I drop the magazine on the floor and eject a bullet from the chamber.

"You have to help him Ben!" She pleaded for him.

"I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that". We used to talk in phrases from movies we watched too many times. It used to be funny, but now it just sounds sad.

"Please, help him, it is not too late! This can all go away. Ben, I am begging you!"

"Lisa, you need to stop and listen. We do not have much time. Jerry is not hurt badly. I made sure of it. But he is going to bleed out in less than an hour. You have a choice now. You can choose him and call 911, or choose me and let him bleed. There is no other option. Until you make that choice, I have nothing more to say"

"Ben, forgive me!" She implored desperately despite my ultimatum, "Forgive him! Don't do this! Please!"

"Here is my phone, in case yours does not work. You have to make a choice. There is no way out of that Lisa."

Leaving my phone for her, I turned my back in the next moment. Ignoring her pleas and walking out the door, I sit next to the building under a bright flood lamp to wait. The gun is in my right hand resting on my thigh. Maybe if she calls the cops they will shoot me and put a stop to this circus.

Lisa follows me outside and continues to beg for forgiveness. Help. Reason. I do not answer.

"At least tell me how to stop the blood. Come on Ben, help me fix that if you won't!"

My reply is matter-of-fact.

"There is no fix, Lisa. There is only a choice, and you need to make it. That's all there is to it."

She goes back to the warehouse. I cannot hear what she is doing, but I know which choice she made. But hope is a horrible thing. If you give up, nothing tortures you, yet you are merely defeated. So I hope she will let her lover bleed out, making plans in my head on how to hide the body.

The flashing lights are what I notice first. They are still far off, but it is dark and the roads are empty so there's no need for sirens.

That's when she comes out again.

"I am sorry Ben, I couldn't become a murderess. You gave me no choice."

"I am sorry too. I gave you a choice to kill him or kill me. You chose."

"No, no hon. You are alive. I will find the best lawyers. I will beg him to drop charges. I will do anything! You will be out soon, and we will be a family again, all will be good! You'll see. I will be the best wife you could hope for. I am so, so, so sorry."

She keeps going for a while, but I say nothing in return. There is nothing to be said. I feel... nothing. This is better. The pain is somehow gone. Nothing to hope for.

She kisses my face. My arms. Hugs me... I do not respond, but I don't push her away either. And that freaks her out.

She pleads next for my gun. She knows what may happen when cops get here, but I refuse to let go until, finally, she gives up.

The first police cruiser pulls up next to the warehouse. Cops take cover and take aim at me, barking orders which I do not follow. I wait for the gunshots to rip through me but that never comes.

Lisa jumps in front of me and yells, "Don't shoot, there are no bullets in the gun! Please, do not shoot him!"

She keeps pleading with them. I am afraid they will still shoot and kill her, and I can't allow that. Someone needs to look after the kids when I'm gone. So I drop the gun to the ground. Seconds later, I am on the ground too. My arms are painfully twisted behind my back. I see an EMT rushing through the doors. I guess, if they are half competent, the bastard will live. He will never have the use of his right arm though. Not that I care anymore.

It's weird. I feel dead inside, but still the pain of the betrayal is very much alive and well. I welcome the physical pain as an alternative. It takes the edge off the other pain I feel, masking it.

I am in the police car when one of the cops tells me, "You should have killed the bastard."

"She had to have a choice."

"You should have murdered that son of a bitch." He repeats, as if he did not hear me. There is pain and hate in his words. I guess I am not the only guy who is hurting.

The rest of the process is routine. I am booked, then thrown in a cell. Most of it feels like a dream, or perhaps more like nightmare. One you just can't escape.

The few moments when I am self-aware are during the trial. Lisa did try it all. She found a super high-profile lawyer. The kind that celebrities retain when they kill someone, accidentally or not. He probably could have gotten me out on some suspended sentence, but I make his job living hell.

I make it clear to the judge that I want to plead guilty. And no, I am absolutely not sorry. The lawyer tries everything. Temporary insanity (I am a bloody MD, I know how to shoot this down), self defense, provocation (wherein Lisa testifies about her infidelity). I sabotage everything. The lawyer finally quits. You cannot defend someone who does not want your help.

Lisa pleads with me, tries to talk to me, and even brings the kids. I do not say a single word to her. Not that I am trying to punish her. I already did that, even if she does not understand the full extent of my revenge. I just do not know what to tell her. I don't know what to tell the rest of them either. She bring everyone I ever worked with or was friends with. Our extended families. I have nothing to say to any of them. There was a fork in the road, but we're already past that and nothing can be changed.

Then the judge hands down a sentence of 11 years with initial placement at a high security prison due to my violent nature and anger issues. No parole for the first 5 years. The sentence strikes me as funny since I know I won't make it that long. Not even 5 months.

Lisa has a break down, screaming and thrashing around. They take her out of the court room, but I can still hear her cries from outside for a bit.

This is the only time I see Jerry again. He is visibly full of hate. He may permanently lose the use of his right arm. I know this trial will destroy his life without taking it. He will never have proper family again, and my guess is he won't have a job either. Silver linings. Not that it matters that much.

It is prison time.

---

I am, a 45 year old, slightly overweight doctor in the midst of the most violent criminals in America. I am told during the first week that I should fill the position of this wing's slut. That way the old one can graduate and take a break. I have zero interest in that lucrative offer, which I express in no uncertain terms. I put emphasis on the relative weakness of a penis as compared to my teeth.

I know where this is headed and fully expect that I won't survive the punishment for refusing to be an obedient bitch. But this was the plan all along.

My wife Lisa pleads again, this time for me to talk to her. I reluctantly accept. There are a few things I need to do still. First, asking her forgiveness. Second, telling her she needs to focus on the kids.

I am supposed to see her Wednesday. The thing is, Tuesday I am going to the showers with the general population. Predictably, my new "friends" try to rape me. I am no fighter. Not even close, but even the toughest guy has his most sensitive parts easily accessible in the shower. As such, I use my knowledge of anatomy and the little strength I have to inflict maximum damage. I am extremely successful in this. More than I expected to be, in fact, which is when they start really beating me up. A huge guy jumps and lands a blow to my cheek. Not a great place to hit someone, but the force is so great that I think he might break my bones and kill me. Instead, I just pass out.

Wednesday, my face looks like a rainbow with an emphasis on dark purple. When I walk into the room and as Lisa lays her eyes on me, she gives out a shriek and runs to me. The guards catch her before she can do anything. It takes few minutes to get her to settle down while they explain they are serious about throwing her out otherwise.

I watch as horror and panic sets into her eyes. Finally, she is realizing I might be right and there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

She picks up the phone and rants about my injuries for minutes before I finally manage to stop her.

"Lisa, I need you to listen please. Can you do at least this one thing for me? If you cannot I am leaving"

My threat works. She quiets down.

"First, I need you to promise me that, no matter what happens, you will take care of the kids. They are the only thing I still have and I need to know they will be safe and taken care of."

She interrupts again saying I have her too. I cannot waste time arguing, so I remind her I will walk out. She shuts up again, at that.

"Second, I am asking for your forgiveness. I was so heartbroken and hurt and angry. I did something to you that I regret now. And I still love you so bad. I want to take it back, but I can't. Maybe if it wasn't Jerry I wouldn't have gone that far. I just couldn't take it. Not him."

"It is OK, baby. You will be out in a few years and I will love you forever. I will wait. I will be here every week. You'll see. You will see. I'll take care of you..." She breaks down crying. I think on some level she knows what I mean and that it's over.

"Lisa, I do not need you to tell me all this. Just forgive me, if you can. I have forgiven you."

I hang up the phone and call the guard. I can see Lisa freaking out on the other side of the glass. She is pleading again, but there is nothing she can do. I will not speak to her again.

---

To be honest, she does try everything. For a while I am transferred to suicide watch, then to vulnerable population. The lawyer she hired tries every trick in the book, but all of it is temporary.

Then, when they try to get the judge to move me to a low security prison, the prosecutor shuts us down. 3 months and 8 days later, I am back among the general population. Because I did not rat anyone out, I have some standing. Maybe I could make it until the parole hearing. Maybe I can get out. But that was never my plan. It's also not in my nature to be anyone's bitch, so it only takes couple of days of defiance before I'm told I have a death wish. Quite accurate really.

Sure enough, it comes. 4 days later I am walking towards my cell with nobody in sight. It's quiet and calm, which can't be a good sign in prison. That's when I hear fast steps behind me. I don't run. I do not even turn around. I just let it happen. There is sharp pain on my lower right side where the shank tears into my kidney. I keep walking a bit before weakness overtakes me.

---

EPILOGUE

The two men hurry to catch up with Ben. The one on the left is bulky. He catches Ben's arms. Ben doesn't even try to resist. The other man quickly jabs Ben on his right side a handful of times. Then they flee the scene before the blood really starts flowing.

Ben manages to take few more steps before collapsing on the floor. Slowly a red puddle forms around him.

A commotion follows. A camera picks up the man lying on the floor. The corridor is suddenly filled with guards. They know this guy has a good lawyer and is a pain in the butt. So a gurney appears quickly and Ben is loaded onto it just before he loses consciousness.

A single word comes out of his mouth before he drifts away.

"Murderess."