Knowing What She Knows Now

The sun peeks thru the blinds, creating an array of warm, altering stripes across the opposing wall and gently downward onto the rustled bed as it rises ever so slowly. The soft cotton sheets are pulled up, kicked down and scrunched back upward again as the angelic young Macie Day wrestles with the morning, stretching, squirming, not sure getting up out of bed is even on the agenda. It has already been a long week. The schedule has been hectic; shifts Sunday thru Tuesday, and long hours at that. But today is her day of rest before running that same pace back into the weekend. A good Wednesday indeed. A day she deserves. When all of life's hard work can lift for a few hours of peace and solitude. And work hard she does.

Following one more stretch, a pause. Macie breathes deep and lets out a gentle sigh. A cute little smile, ornery and playful, comes over her sweet face. It is "his" day to be here. He is a friend she made, kind of at random, now looking back, perhaps a combination of fate and luck. She had put herself in the "path of that luck" as he would say when she created an account on a cuddle site. Something she had never heard of, nor he, but seemed to be an interesting concept. Macie had been in relationships, some long, some short. But as of recent times, with nobody in that part of her life, she realized what she missed most were warm strong arms holding her tight, the offer of gentle touch, and softly spoken words of support and affection that gave her a safe feeling, one of tranquility. It was this common missing thread of touch in their lives that led to their chance meeting. His story being a different tale. Married. Children. Still friends but without the physical touch he so surely missed and needed. Along with the vanished youthful, marital intimacies, so too exited from their marriage just basic cuddling and caressing that provides so much peace.

It took time. Perhaps too long... Knowing What She Knows Now, yes, that is safe to say. Their friendship, very special but not romantic. Flirty? Sure. In a way that reminds another soul that they are special, cared about, attractive to others. Confirmation. He is her senior, by a pretty good margin. Young at heart. His boyish charms and wit had meshed well with her subtle, sly and youthful cuteness. They at times seemed to be meant for this surreptitious support group afforded to one another, now just two strong.

There it was. Crunching of stones under tires surely meant he had arrived. For him, this was his relief, his break from life's stresses and the chance to dote on somebody he had both grown fond of and cared about. He too let out a sigh as he pulled up to her small flat nestled in her midwest hometown, a community like many, flanked by cornfields. Remembering when her concern was for "hosting" he too smiled, shook his head. Never understood that one. He was not judgemental. His focus of friendship and care was strictly on the princess on the other side of the door. Not where she lived, what she owned. None of that. It was not even about who she had been in life, but rather, who she was now, in this moment.

With a muffled rap of his knuckles on her door, he announced his presence. She really hadn't done anything to prepare for this "cuddle session" as it were. She knew he would give her that pursed lip, tilted head, eybrows raised look. As if to scold her for going out of her way, like a big brother or a dad would. So, mussed hair and all, Macie, adorning a slightly oversized t-shirt greeted him, a sweet smile, and a quick "come on in Sir", something she had referenced him as before, early in their communicarions, now a staple in her greeting. He liked it. Part of her charm. As she turned back around, there he stood, hand held out, holding her favorite iced coffee. A morning treat to start her day of rest off just right. Taking it from him, she again smiled, offered a "thank you hun, you didn't have to" with a small, gentle hug, an appreciation for something she had come to expect with his visits... her response his reward.

Both smiled as they looked forward to this therapy. She looked up at him as he stood, broad-shouldered, nearly 6'5" and as he gazed down to her much smaller frame, no additional words were needed. With a slight touch to her arm he turned and scampered off to the restroom, his bag slung over his shoulder. The agreed upon apparel, some mouthwash, a comb and a hat was all that he carried.

With a soft t-shirt and shorts, a final splash of mouthwash, and of course his footies, a comfort fetish he had developed, he emerged into her bedroom. Nothing had changed. The bed linens all twisted and piled from her quick exit to get the door. He would have it no other way. "Lived in" he would say. There was no need for the clean, neatly made sheets. As it were, the warmth of the night's rest and only her faint scent only allowed the closeness of the cuddles to come more natural and be more enjoyable. A soft aromatic candle lit. A cool breeze from a small fan. He joined her atop the covers.

As if a well-planned routine, they offered up warm hugs. So often, today being no exception, she would nuzzle under his chin, her head against his chest. Slowly, methodically, their legs would lightly intertwine, causing her the usual giggle as she felt the fuzziness of his socks. He especially loved that position, as his large frame drew her in close, his nails gently rubbing on her back. With this motion she returned the touch, soflty caressing his arm, both sending gestures of comfort they so sorely needed. This level of intimacy, the tenderness of the moment, took them both a few "visits" to get used to. Both, being cuddlers at heart, soon realized how special it was that they could again share such feelings. No pressures. No relationship to nurture. Just hugs and support from a friend. The platonic nature of how they met had always been abided by. Rules. Conformity. Boundaries. They agreed on levels and placement of touch, had safe words, never offending. Without a doubt, there were moments of awkwardness. Maybe even moments of shared excitement. Definitely moments of embarrassment when natural hormonal tendancies of the moment took over, he blushed, she giggled, they learned to laugh it off. Coming to grips on how to deal with that, a turn, more separation, whatever seemed right to correct the situation. But, both Macie and her friend had found solace with one another.

The morning would continue on. He loved to comb her hair back over her ears as he stared lovingly at her. They spooned, he as the big spoon, a perfect fit with his frame wrapping her up in his warmth. Sometimes tightly, Sometimes, if she thought his boyish arrousal was imminent, she would straighten up, turn slightly and hold his hand. They knew their limits. Their likes. Their dislikes. Frequently as if all new to all of this, they explored ways to twist and mingle their bodies as if treasure hunters. Many laughs. An occasional tear. Supportive conversations. Hearing the caring words they often longed for along with the elusive touch in their lives they required and deserved.

The clock ticked. The joy and relaxation of eachother's presence was passing away click by click with each movement of the secondhand. Knowing their time, truly limited only by the care they had towards their agreed upon discretion which allowed such bliss to even exist in their lives, was shortening. That limit they had placed on their meetings served as a reminder to both of them as to what their relationship was, was not, but perhaps most rewardingly a small,

bright spot in their schedules to look forward to and unwind during. Shortening too was their special time together, not just by the minutes and hours of their visits, but perhaps in its overall reality, as with a new relationship or other unforseen life change, it may retreat to words of wisdom and friendship from afar. He took that in consideration, for sure, as Macie was young, attractive and held a life path ahead of her which would surely not include him. Aware of that, okay with that, his joy and fulfillment was in the now, feeling honored to play a role in her life and she in his.

Closing out their final embraces, his nails lightly traced the edges of her apparel. Gently his strokes on her skin strengthened as he moved to rubbing her shoulders and down to the small of her back. His fingers had mastered the therapeutical work he now performed as if it had been clinically studied, but instead, just years of practice in caring for the beautiful vessel that lie before him at that time in his now storied life. With a final turn, towards one another, a face-to-face smile. A quietly spoken "thank you" shared from each. The urge to kiss her lips reeled in, with a deep breath, and instead, a soft kiss to her forehead. This not only signaled the end of the visit was near, but did reassure her of his caring way, his gentleman approach she had grown to adore, and the safe aspect of knowing she ultimately holds the key to the rules of engagement in their relationship. Slithering from the bed back to the restroom, he returned again in jeans, his ball cap and lightly freshened. With a gentle skim of his nails up her leg to find her hand, they squeeze gently, smiled and reassured eachother they will be in touch.

As she hears the door click as he lets himself out, Macie takes another sip of the iced coffee, now watered down but still tasty. She blows out the mostly liquified, yet still burning candle. Scootching back down into the sheets, relaxed as never before. A day of rest still ahead. She closes her eyes to gently dream, that light smile again on her face.