Begrudgingly Yours ch. 12

Victor

All hell had broken loose. In just a matter of seconds the mood in the room had shifted from concern for Ash to outrage and panic. Gerard lifted his head and suddenly his eyes were blazing red with fury. He was throwing the doors open before I had even realized he'd moved from Ash's side. Evander and Alaric were beside him in a flash, trying to hold him back while Seraphine attempted to reason with him.

"Get out of my way." He hissed at them. "That is an order from you King!"

"Sire, please calm yourself and think before you act, you can not do this."

"He dared to touch my son. He violated him, his life is forfeit!"

"Yes." Seraphine said, speaking calmly and softly. "The penalty for what Niklas has done is death, and his sentence shall be carried out but not like this. He must stand before the High council first. It's the law."

Gerard turned to her and snarled. "Do you think I don't know the law?"

"You do know the law." Evander told him. "And you know the repercussions if you act rashly. Not even you, My Lord, can escape the wrath of the High council. Think of your son. Do you want to deny him the right to accuse his attacker in court?"

Gerard exhaled slowly. The tension in his shoulder released. He appeared calmer now and the murderous look in his eyes was gone. What stood there now was a father, full of pain and regret, wanting desperately to avenge his child but unable act because of rules and protocols.

Seraphine turned to the two guards standing at the door. "You will go and find Lord Niklas Kautz and arrest him on the charges of rape and giving false testimony before the court. He's to be held in Vasile tower, under heavy guard until further notice."

The guards bowed then turned and left, going down the hall, ready to carry out their orders without question. Gerard had been led back to the table but he refused to take his seat. Instead, he stood, palms flat against the table top, eyes focused on the reflective surface as he attempted to compose himself.

I cradled Ash against my chest, refusing to let him go, even for a second. He was still unconscious but I worried that if he woke up he'd have another panic attack. He had been close to hyperventilating right before he'd passed out. I stood, still holding him against me. He was so small, so light that it barely took any effort at all to pick him up.

"I'm taking him outside." I announced to no one in particular. "He needs some fresh air." I didn't wait for anyone's permission as I headed for the doors and no one tried to stop me.

I didn't realize I was holding my breath until I stepped out of that damn conference room and heard the door click shut behind me. Ash was still out cold, cradled in my arms, his head resting against my shoulder, his breath warm across my collarbone. Once we were outside, away from Gerard's fury and Jonah's cold and menacing glares, I could finally breathe again.

It was past midnight and in the darkness, the hotels tiny courtyard felt like something out of a dream. Little white lights were strung through the trees and along the awning, glowing in the night like fireflies. White, ball lanterns hung on strings, crisscrossing the patio, casting a warm, golden glow over the empty tables and polished stone floor. In the summer I imagined the courtyard smelled like roses and champagne. Now it smelled like dew and fallen leaves, but the first thing I noticed was the quiet. We were completely alone and for that I was thankful.

I found a bench near a stone fountain and sat down, shifting Ash into my lap. The sound of running water, pouring from the clay jar of half nude nymph was soothing and calm. Her stone eyes seemed to follow me, as if she were the guardian of this human made paradise. I held Ash closer, laying his head against my heart. He made a faint, breathy noise, like something deep inside was still hurting him, even in sleep. I brushed my fingers through his hair, touching his ear before letting my fingers drift over his cheek.

He was absolute perfection, my little mate. Beautiful and strong, kind and innocent in a way that's rarely seen anymore. How anyone could hurt him was beyond me. It almost seemed blasphemous, like harming an Angel.

The look on his face earlier when Jonah had opened his stupid mouth and let the truth slip, or when Gerard had demanded answers, was heartbreaking to see. But I not only saw it, I felt it. Like a punch to the gut. Then, when the memory came rushing back, I felt that too. The anger, the fear, and the pain. Even thinking about it now made me want to track Niklas down and tear him limb from limb, slowly. Painfully. I wanted to make him suffer because Ash was suffering, and Niklas needed to pay for making him feel like this.

Ash had buried it all. Shoved it down deep inside just to survive. To keep breathing and moving but tonight, it came rushing out like blood from a wound that refused to heal. I should have gotten him out of there sooner, when I first realized that something was wrong, that he wasn't okay. I should have protected him better.

I kissed his forehead. It was cool to the touch and damp with sweat. Gods, he looked so young. Too young to have suffered all the shit he'd gone through. And it wasn't even over yet. He still had to go before the council and once again rehash everything Niklas had done to him. I'd spare him the agony of it if I could but he had no choice. Without Ash's testimony, he'd never have the justice he deserved and Niklas would walk.

I couldn't let that happen. Not after everything Niklas had done to him, not after Ash had suffered in silence, too scared to speak out. I looked down at him again, my thumb brushing along the edge of his cheekbone. "We'll get through through this." I promised, even though he couldn't hear me. "One breath at a time, we'll survive this."

A door creaked open behind us, the sound amplified throughout the empty courtyard. I heard soft footsteps approaching but I didn't turn at first. I had too many things on my mind, things too important to be concerned about random humans encroaching on our space but then, a subtle breeze kicked up and with it came a scent I had come to recognize over the last few hours. Vampires.

I turned then and saw Alaric walking toward me. His scent I knew at once. Earth and ceder with a hint of spice.

"Victor," he said gently, calm and composed, even now. "Gerard and Liam still have some things to finalize. Plans for meeting with the council, Ash's statement, legal matters. It could take hours and neither felt that there was any need for Ash to remain here for that."

"No." I agreed. "He needs to rest, some place where he feels safe."

"My thoughts exactly." Alaric attempted a smile but it felt out of place on him and didn't have the desired effect of warmth and comradery. "If you wish, I can escort you both back to the Belle Village estate. Liam has already given his permission to leave. You can check with him if you like."

"No. I trust you." He raised an eyebrow and smirked. It would have looked creepy to anyone else but I was getting used to the mans mannerisms, and I knew he meant well. I think it just stunned him a bit to hear a shifter say they trusted him.

"Excellent. When you're ready, I have a car waiting out front."

I stood, scooping Ash up with me and nodded. "We're ready."

We walked back through the hotel to the front entrance where we'd all arrived. When Alaric said he had a car waiting, I expected to see another limo, not the Mercedes-Benz Maybach GLS that glided to a halt just outside the main doors.

The SUV was all black glass and lacquered steel, polished to a mirror sheen that reflected the hotels soft golden lighting and the faintest shimmer of moon light. The doors unlocked with an almost silent click and a parking valet stepped out. He handed Alaric the keys and Alaric thanked him, then he disappeared, back inside the hotel.

Alaric didn't move from where he was standing. He just stood there like some stone statue in a designer coat like he was waiting for something. Or someone. That's when I noticed the man standing behind him, half shadowed by the glow of the outside lights. Young, wide-eyed, and trying unsuccessfully to be invisible. Antoine.

Outside of the conference room, when he wasn't hiding under the table, he looked even smaller. His large brown eyes flitted to Ash and then to me, and I saw the way his posture stiffened. He was afraid of me. I didn't blame him. He'd seen me at my worst, half shifted and snarling like a blood thirsty beast. The irony wasn't lost on me. The kid, and I say kid because that's what he looked like despite his eighty-seven years, was a vampire. He was supposed to be the blood thirsty monster that people feared but he was anything but. He was a beta. I could tell by his scent. He didn't have the strength of an alpha but in all honesty, he could have passed for an omega.

He was small, scrawny, and reeked of fear. Being a beta, he was bred for servitude and was used to being ordered around but there was just something about him that made him seem weak and broken.

He stood to the side, his back straight and hands clenched nervously at his sides, eyes still lowered to the ground.

"It's okay." I said, softer than I meant to. "I'm not going to hurt you."

He didn't respond but then Alaric sighed as he turned and gave the younger vampire a look of annoyance. "Antoine, the doors..."

Antoine flinched, nodding quickly. "Y-Yes, Sir."

He bowed his head as he rushed forward and opened the back door. Loose brown waves obscured his face as I walked past him and gently slid Ash into the seat and then sat down beside him. Antoine shut the door without a word. He didn't even make eye contact when I thanked him. It was like he was too scared to speak.

He walked to the drivers side then and opened the door for Alaric who slid in behind the wheel with graceful ease. After shutting Alaric's door, Antoine walked around the car to the front passenger side and got in beside Alaric. It was kind of funny watching him fasten the safety belt with shaking hands. I completely understood why Gerard had ordered him to return with us. Antoine was out of his element serving the King. It was actually pretty painful to watch him fumbling around and jumping at the slightest sounds. He would have been better suited working as a librarian than a servant to the King.

Alaric started the car and began to pull away from the hotel. I asked him if he needed directions and he said no, he already knew. Apparently Gerard had tasked Alaric with keeping tabs on Jai over the past four years that he'd been living with us. Our village was so secure, I wondered how he could have possibly gotten close enough to get any information without being detected. Then again, Ash made it into Liam and Jai's bedroom with none of us being the wiser. I decided not to dwell on the issue too much. At least for now. Vampires had their secrets but I was sure, in time, I'd learn most of them.

***

The drive back to Belle Village was peacefully quiet. Alaric wasn't a big talker and Antoine didn't speak at all unless asked a direct question. We were about half way when Ash began to stir. I'd pulled him into my lap shortly after we'd left and held him against my chest as Alaric drove. The soft hum of the engine and the ease of the ride was soothing. I'd hoped Ash would have remained asleep until we reached the mansion but slowly, his eyes opened and the first thing he saw was me. He smiled but then his smile faded when he realized we were in a moving vehicle. His eyes darted around, taking in his surroundings and when he saw the two Vampires in the front seat he tensed.

"It's okay." I spoke softly, rubbing his back. "Alaric is driving us home."

He shifted, sitting up right on my lap but still wary. "What happened?" He asked, rubbing his eyes.

"You fainted." I told him.

His shoulders slouched and he laid his head against my shoulder. "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you."

"Hush." I scolded, gently. "You didn't embarrass me. You were overwhelmed, I get it. We all do. It was all too much too soon. You were never really given enough time to process everything that's happened and then Jonah had to open his fucking mouth..."

I was still pissed at Jonah and he was going to get an ear full when he got back but at the moment I needed to focus on Ash.

"It wasn't his fault." Ash said, his voice sounding weak and exhausted. "None of this has been easy on him and he's worried about the safety of the Pride."

"I'm worried too." I confessed. "But his behavior was completely out of line and his anger misplaced. You and Jai aren't the ones he needs to be afraid of and Alaric is only here to keep you safe." I glanced to Antoine sitting still and rigid in the front seat. "I'm not sure why he's here." I said and Ash giggled. It was the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard in my life.

***

I was a little nervous when we pulled up to the main gate and two of the guards came to the drivers side door. I was about to get out and explain to them who our two guests were and why they were there when Alaric rolled down his window and handed them a slip of paper. The first guard read it over and then handed it to the second. I rolled down my window then so they could see me.

"Is there a problem?" I asked.

The second guard took one look at me and his posture eased. I could feel the tension roll off him. "No, Sir." He said, quickly. "Mr. Al-Ar-Rick just gave us a note from the chief, giving him clearance."

"Alaric." He corrected them, sounding out the symbols. Al UH Rick.

"My apologies, Sir." The guard said. He then looked back to the guard house. "Mitch, open the gate." He shouted. Looking back to Alaric he added, "You're cleared to enter, Mr. Alaric." This time he pronounced the name perfectly and the elder vampire nodded, thanking him.

The gate rolled open and the two guards stood to the side, allowing us to drive through. "The mansion is at the top of the hill I presume." Alaric inquired.

"Yeah, just follow the main road through the village."

He nodded, put the car in gear and once again we were moving. Ash seemed less interested with the view this time, instead he just snuggled against me. His eyes were closed but he was still awake, just completely relaxed. I was glad for that. It meant he finally felt safe and secure. This was his home now, his safe harbor, and I was going to see that it remained that way.

***

The drive back was quiet. Ash didn't say much, but he stayed close enough that I could feel the warmth of his leg pressed against mine the whole way up the mountain. When we finally arrived at the estate, most of the lights were out except for a few still burning in the front room windows. They were waiting for us.

Alaric opened the car door without a word and stepped out into the cool night air. Antoine followed, small and silent as a shadow. I watched as he titled his head back and inhaled deeply, taking in all the scents around him.

"Probably reminds him of home." Ash said, noticing me watching him. "He was born in Appalachia."

"You've known him a while, huh?"

Ash nodded. "He relocated here when I was ten."

"Relocated? Why?"

He looked down as though studying his hands. A look of shame settled over his beautiful features. "He was sold at auction." He told me. "He'd worked in several different households before he came into my father's possession."

I frowned. "Your father bought him?"

Ash shook his head. "No. The last man that bought him had been executed. His estate and all his belongings were seized by the crown. Most of it had then been auctioned off and the money made from the sale of his property used to pay restitution to the families and victims of his crimes. His own family had all been stripped of their ranks and titles. They lost everything. Antoine would have been sold too but my father choose to keep him rather than have him auctioned off to yet another noble. Father figured Antoine had been through enough already."

I suddenly felt bad for the kid. Being sold over and over again like that could explain his nervous behavior but I suspected there was more to the story than that.

"Why was his previous owner executed?"

Ash shrugged. "I don't know all the details. I was too young and Father had always tried to keep me sheltered from things like that. There were rumors though. Servants liked to gossip in the halls when they thought no one was listening. From what I heard, the man was a real monster. Slaves are rarely treated well to begin with but what this guy did to his servants was criminal. His crimes were heinous."

I stared at him, eyes wide. "What did he do?"

Ash visibly cringed when I asked him that. "Remember, this is all hearsay." He told me. "But the things I'd heard were bad, really bad. They said he would torture his servants, beat them and whip them. The lowborn ones got the worst of it. There were rumors that he'd remove their fangs, just to watch them starve to death. If any of them tried to run, he'd have their legs removed. I even heard that once he set a child servant on fire because she tripped and broke one of his crystal goblets."

Hearing all that made me feel physically ill. I couldn't understand how anyone, Vampire or not, could be so cruel.

"That's not all." Ash said, his voice lower now so only I could hear him. "I don't know how true it is but I heard he had a... liking for his younger slaves. Particularly the boys. If they resisted him he'd have them marked or worse... beaten to death."

I shuttered. "Not to sound insensitive but, how easy is it to beat a Vampire to death? I mean, your pretty strong, right?"

"No, not really. I mean, the older ones are really strong but younger Vampires are still vulnerable. Especially if they're starved or beaten on a regular basis and not allowed to heal. It also depends on bloodline. Highborn Vampires that come from ancient and powerful families are going to be stronger than lowborns. A lot of lowborns come from human-made Vampires so their bloodlines aren't as strong."

"What about Antoine? Is he Highborn?"

Ash shook his head. "No. He's lowborn. His father's a noble but his mother was a slave. She was sold when she got pregnant. Not much else is known about her. Antoine was taken from her when he was very young and never saw her again. Most slaves are taken from their parents and sold around age five. From there they're usually trained in one or two specific jobs that are saved mostly for children. Around age fifteen their skills are assessed and they can enter into an apprenticeship, if they're lucky. Those slaves can move up the ladder eventually earning a place in noble households or even the guard, if they're alphas or betas. Omegas are always used as domestic servants."

"Antoine's a beta, right?"

Ash nodded.

"So he must be quite skilled to have earned a place in the royal household."

Ash snorted a laugh. "Sorry." He apologized. "He's a sweet guy but honestly, he's inept in almost everything. He's been dismissed from just about every job in the mansion. The kitchen manager refused to even allow him near the kitchen anymore. He's horrible in domestic service, and would never do well in security. My father finally took him on as his personal assistant mainly because no one else wanted him."

"So. He's kind of a charity case?"

"Yeah. When he first came to us he was in pretty bad shape. He was beaten and starved. It took him a long time to recover. Mentally and physically. Father felt sorry for him and, I think, maybe he felt a little guilty that one of his own people had committed such atrocities right under his nose."

My opinion of Gerard was beginning to change. From what Ash had told me, it seemed that Gerard had wanted to save the boy rather than just acquire a new servant. Especially a servant that couldn't seem to find his place. Anyone else would have sold him, or beaten him for his inadequacies but not Gerard. It seemed he had gone out of his way to find a place for him. I was starting to think that maybe the man wasn't the cold hearted devil I'd originally thought.

Antoine came to the back of the car and opened the door for Ash and I. He bowed as Ash exited the car, even when Ash told him that it wasn't necessary. I slid out next then gently laid my hand on Ash's lower back as we climbed the front steps of the mansion together. He was wide awake now but still looked worn out. His eyes dulled with exhaustion, his shoulders sagged and each step he took seemed forced and heavy. He held onto me as we walked into the house which was fine by me. I didn't want to let him go anyway.

Inside, the warmth of the mansion hit me like a wave. I was immediately engulfed by the scents of fresh baked bread, venison stew and potatoes, apple pie and cookies. Apparently mom had been stress cooking again.

Gabriella was curled up on the couch, fast asleep with a blanket draped over her. Marcus stood nearby, arms crossed. Mom sat in one of the arm chairs, hand clasped neatly in her lap while Father paced the living room. The moment he saw us though his head snapped toward the door, eyes narrowing like a wolf catching scent of something unfamiliar encroaching on it's territory.

"Where's Liam?" He barked. "Where are the others? And who the hell are they?" He's eyes landed menacingly on Alaric and Antoine.

Ash flinched beside me. My arm automatically wrapped around his shoulders.

"Liam and the others stayed behind," I said, stepping forward with Ash plastered to my side. Alaric and Antoine paused just inside the doorway. "They're ironing out a few last minute details with Gerard. They should be back in an hour or so. Ash is exhausted and needed to rest so we came back early."

Father didn't respond right away. He just stared at the two Vampires behind us like they were bags of trash that someone had dumped in his yard.

"And them?" He sneered, nodding in their direction.

"This is Sir Alaric Dorne, a member of the Royal Vampire Guard." I said calmly, keeping my tone soft even though I could already feel my father's anger reaching a boiling point. I then turned and gestured to Antoine. "This is Gerard's personal steward, Antoine. They're both here on Liam and Gerard's orders. They felt Ash needed extra protection while he awaits trial."

"More vampires?" Father's words were dripping with venom as he looked our two guests over. He took a step toward me, eyes burning with rage as he stared me down. "What the hell are we running now, Victor? A halfway house for bloodsuckers? If Gerard is so damn worried about his kid he should have kept him."

Alaric's eyes didn't flicker. He remained calm and composed even in the face of my father's prejudice. Antoine however, shifted awkwardly behind Alaric, dropping his gaze even lower. His hands shook and the poor kid looked like he was ready to bolt at any minute.

I wasn't as calm though. I straightened, cold settling in my spine. For some reason, I was beginning to feel slightly protective of Antoine as well as Ash. I supposed it made sense. I'd always had a soft spot for the weak, those who couldn't defend themselves and Antoine definitely fit into that category. "They're here for Ash as ordered by Liam, your Chief. If you have a problem with it, you can take it up with him."

"I have a problem with all three of them being here. Why did he even come back? He should be locked up before his trial and I hope to God he's executed for what he's done. At least then we'd have one less Vampire to worry about." His eyes landed on Ash as he spoke causing him to cringe and hide his face against my shoulder.

I froze. The air left my lungs like I'd just been punched. My nails bit into my palms, fists clenched so tight they burned. My jaw locked. I took a step closer, my voice trembled, not from fear but from the effort it took not to roar.

"What did you just say?"

My father's eyes flickered to me, annoyed. "You know exactly what I said."

"How dare you." I growled. "Ash is my mate. My fated mate. That alone should mean something to you."

The room went quiet. Everyone held their breath, nervous and fearful of what was coming next. Ash's fingers brushed mine, tentative and feather-light as though he were trying to pull me back from the edge but it was too late. My father had crossed the line.

"It means to me that you've lost your mind, Victor. Claiming a Vampire as your mate is insane!"

"Why? Why is it insane? Fate brought us together. We were made for each other, destined to be together. Besides, I've already marked him, and we preformed the mating rite before Gerard and Liam, sealing the bond. It's done."

"Then undo it." Father hissed. "To claim this... this.. thing, as your mate, is perverse. It goes against the very fabric of who we are and what we believe in. Vampires are unnatural. He's an abomination, an offense to our Gods. Do you really want to disgrace yourself and your family by taking this creature as your mate?"

"He's not an abomination or a disgrace. You talk like he's some horrible monster but you don't even know him."

"I know enough." Father said, his tone icy. "He's not even alive, Victor. He's a walking corpse. A rotten, soulless creature that will bring you nothing but misery and pain. For your own sake and ours, end this now before it's too late. Send him back to his father."

"I made a vow." I was seeing red. My vision tunneled. Only Ash's small hand in mine, trembling as he held onto me, kept me from shifting and going after my father with fangs and claws.

Father huffed and shook his head. "Vows spoken in the presence of monsters mean nothing. You're not bound by them."

"I am bound by my claim and I will not break my vow. It may mean nothing to you but it means everything to me."

My father took a step toward me. "He isn't your mate. Whatever you think you feel for him is a lie, a mistake."

"The fates don't make mistakes." I told him. "At any rate, I'm done arguing with you. If you can't accept him, that's on you. We neither need nor want your approval. Now, if you'll excuse me, my mate needs rest and I need to show our guests to their rooms."

I tried to lead Ash and the others around my father but he blocked our way. "I won't allow this. No Vampire will sleep under this roof while I'm still alive."

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow. "And do you plan to throw your Chief's mate out as well?"

"That's different." Father sneered. "Jai is half lion and he's renounced his Vampire heritage."

"He may have renounced his heritage but the blood of the King still runs through his veins." Alaric stepped forward. Not threatening exactly but there was a clear warning in his eyes as they flashed red. His jaw was tight. His lips pressed together in a thin line and the corners of his mouth turned down in an ugly snarl. He had remained silent through my father's rant but now he'd heard enough and he wanted Father to know it.

I could see the rage building in my father's eyes as he turned on Alaric and glared. "Don't speak to me, leach!" He hissed. "This is my house and you are not welcome here. None of you are welcome here."

Alaric quickly ushered Antoine behind him then placed himself between my father and Ash. "Sir, your behavior is disgraceful." Alaric snapped, the anger thick in his voice. "As patriarch of your family it is your responsibility to set an example for your family and Pride. Peace between our species would benefit us all, especially given that two of your sons are mated to the King's children."

"I have no interest in allying myself with Vampires."

Alaric inclined his head just a fraction, barely enough to even qualify as movement. His eyes blazed with barely controlled rage. "Trust me when I say, you would much rather have us as your allies than your enemies."

"Are you threatening me, bloodsucker?" Father took a step forward but I put a hand out to stop him.

"Take it as you will." Alaric said. "I have no wish to engage with you further."

"Self righteous prick." Father scowled.

At this point I'd had about enough of my father's shit. I've never in my life raised a hand to my father or even spoken back to him but now, he was becoming a real threat to my mate and the beast inside could not allow that. Rage burned through my body and I realized that I was dangerously close to shifting. As the former Chief of our Pride, my father was stronger than me but I didn't care. "Alaric is right." I growled. "You disgrace us all with your disrespect."

"There's no need to show respect to Vampires." He said. "They're not even human."

"You disrespect your Chief by denying his guests entrance into our home!"

"Liam has said nothing to me regarding these matters. All I have to go on is your word."

I sneered at him, baring my fangs. "Are you suggesting that I lied? That I, the guardian of the Pride, would go against Liam's orders?"

"I think you'd do anything to protect your supposed mate. I think you'd put his safety above that of the entire Pride."

"So you question my loyalty?"

"I never once thought to question your loyalty but now, yes. I do. I question your loyalty to the Pride and to your own kind. I think you're blinded by hormones and guilt. You don't know what love, real love, is. This thing you think you feel, it's not real and it won't last."

My eyes narrowed as I started my father down hard. I could feel something stronger than hurt or rage rising up in my chest, something raw and feral. "You're dead wrong." I hissed. "I know exactly what love is. It's standing between the person you love and the people trying to hurt him. And I'd do it a thousand times over. I'd kill anyone who threatens my mate, even if that threat is you, Father."

His eyes went wide with shock and outrage. "Are you challenging me?"

I felt Ash press closer to me, his trembling hand slipped into mine. "Victor, please. Don't do this. We can leave. We'll stay somewhere else tonight. At least until Liam returns. I don't want to cause you anymore trouble."

My father's face twisted with rage, but before he could utter another word, Mother stepped out of the living room and crossed the floor to where we stood.

"One more word out of you, Tomas, and you'll be sleeping in the guest house." Her voice echoed throughout the corridor, cool and composed but edged with steel.

Father pursed his lips. "Ada, this doesn't concern you."

Mother laughed. "Everything that happens inside this house concerns me." She locked eyes with my father, her gaze stern and unwavering. She crossed her arms over her chest, her left eyebrow raised. A look she reserved for her children when we did something she didn't approve of.

Father stiffened.

"I'm ashamed for you, Tomas. You should be ashamed of yourself. Never once have we ever turned away someone in need of help."

"Ada, this is different. These men..."

"Are our guests." She interrupted him.

Her gaze then drifted over to Alaric and Antoine. "Of course you are welcome here, gentlemen. And please, forgive my husband. He hasn't had enough tome to process everything that's happened but I assure you, his attitude does not, in any way, reflect the rest of the house."

Alaric bowed. "Thank you, Mrs. Kerrisk. Your kindness will not be forgotten."

She nodded, giving him a warm smile before turning her attention to Ash. "Sweetheart," she spoke softly, smiling at my mate with genuine affection. Stepping up to us, she took his hands in hers. "I am so sorry for the hurtful words Tomas said to you. I hope he hasn't caused you to regret your decision to accept Victor as your mate."

"No, Ma'am." Ash said, leaning into me. "I'll never regret accepting Victor. I love him."

"Good." She squeezed his hands tenderly. "There is nothing more sacred than the bond between fated mates."

"Thank you." Ash said, tears filling his eyes.

"Oh, Honey. There's no need to thank me. Welcome to our family." She reached out and pulled Ash into a tight hug.

Furious, Father stormed out of the room, cursing under his breath.

When Mother finally released Ash, she turned to Alaric. "If you'll follow me, gentlemen, I'll show you to your rooms."

"That would be greatly appreciated, Madam." Alaric said. He motioned to Antoine and the two of them followed Mother up the stairs to the second floor where the bedrooms were located.

I exhaled once we were alone. Ash's shoulders sagged in relief. I reached for his hand and led him to the staircase. "You look like you're about to pass out." I told him.

He sighed. "I feel like it too."

"Let's get you to bed then." I kissed his hand.

He nodded, his eyes red from crying. "Yeah," he said, "that sounds wonderful."

***

Ash didn't say a word as we walked up the stairs. He reached for my hand, lacing his fingers through mine, tight, as if he was afraid to let go. I led him past the guest rooms and into mine. Now ours. Our room. I almost felt giddy just thinking about it. Our room, our new life together. I never thought I'd ever find my mate. I'd given of hope but then Ash just showed up in my life and everything changed. The part of me I'd buried a long time ago was back and more alive than ever.

We walked inside the room and I closed the door behind us, shutting out the rest of the world. The room was dim, the only light coming from a bedside lamp, casting a pool of golden light across the beige carpet. Ash hesitated, his eyes scanning everything as though unsure if he should actually be here. If he was even allowed.

"You Okay?" I asked him quietly, not moving any closer even though I wanted to. Just, after everything he'd been through, I was willing to give him the space he needed.

"He nodded, barely. "Yeah, I'm okay."

That was a lie. He wasn't okay. I could tell just by looking at him but I wasn't about to call him out on it. Instead, I walked over to the arm chair in the corner and pulled off my jacket, draping it over the back. Then I turned to him again.

"You can take the bed." I told him. "You need the rest more than I do."

His eyes widened slightly. "I thought you said we were going to share the room."

"We are. I just don't want to push you to do anything you're not ready for. So, if you want the bed, it's yours. I'll be fine in the chair."

He stared at me for a long time. There was something unreadable behind those jade eyes, like something he wanted to say but couldn't. He lowered his gaze and walked slowly toward the bed, then sat on the edge. His fingers curled around the blanket like it grounded him. He looked so mall, so fragile.

I crossed the room and knelt in front of him, resting my hands on his knees, waiting for him to look at me. When he finally lifted his gaze I saw the storm brewing behind his eyes, all the hurt and anger he was holding onto, afraid to let it out.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, locking eyes with him so he knew I meant every word I said, "for what happened with my father earlier, for what Jonah said at the meeting. For all of it."

Ash's lips parted, the closed again. He swallowed hard, like he was trying to force back the urge to start crying again.

"It wasn't supposed to come out like that," he whispered. "I didn't want to say it in front of everyone. Not like that."

"I know."

"I didn't want you to look at me like--like I was broken."

"I don't."

His brow furrowed like he didn't believe me, so I lifted a hand and placed it over his heart.

"You're not broken." I told him. "You survived something no one should ever have to suffer through. That doesn't make you broken, or weak, Ash. That makes you the strongest damn person I know."

"Then why do I feel so small, so useless?"

"Baby, you're not useless."

"No one wants me here."

"That's not true. I want you here. My mom wants you here. So does Jai and Liam."

"Your father and Jonah don't."

I frowned. "Who gives a fuck what they want?"

"I do." He looked at me pointedly. "And you should too. They're your family."

"You're my family now."

Ash blinked slowly, my words hung between us for a moment, neither of us speaking. The silence seemed heavier than before, thicker. Finally, Ash said what I'd been afraid he'd been thinking all along.

"I don't know if we're doing the right thing."

His words stung, like a blade to my chest. "What do you mean?"

His fingers twisted together in his lap, restless and tense. "Everyone looks at me like I'm a problem. A liability. And what your father said tonight..." He turned his head to the side, like he was scared to look at me. "If that's how your family sees me, as a walking corpse, then I just don't see how this is going to work. They'll never accept me."

My stomach twisted into knots. "Ash..."

"I love you." He said suddenly, and for a moment, I forgot how to breathe. His voice was raw, trembling, but I could hear the sincerity in his words. "I know it's crazy. We barely know each other. But I do. I love you. But I'm scared. I'm scared it's not real and all this... is all a mistake. It's just fate messing with us. What if it's not enough?"

The room shrank around us, quiet and pulsing with the weight of everything he was trying to say. He let out a deep breath and I could see that he was trembling, trying to hold back the tears that needed to fall. I leaned forward, brushing my thumb gently over the back of his hand until he stilled. "It's not a mistake." I told him. " The way I feel about you... it's not something I can fake. And nothing is forcing me to love you. It's real. Everything I feel for you is real. Don't let my father's words put doubt in your heart. He has no clue what he's even talking about."

"How do you know your dad's not right about it all? How do you know any of this is real? We barely even know each other. What if fate just told us we belong together and we both got so caught up in this feeling that we ignored the truth?"

"What truth?" I narrowed my eyes, not sure what he was saying.

He sighed. "That we're not really meant to be together. Maybe, when you really get to know me, you'll end up hating me."

I studied him for a long moment. His doubt. His fear. I understood the way he felt. The aching need to be loved but too scared of rejection to open his heart to anyone. I didn't blame him. I'd been there before. I'd spent years burying my heart, trying so hard to hide the pain. But I couldn't let him fall into that same abyss, because I'd never be able to pull him out of it.

"You think fate did all this?" I asked gently. "That some cosmic force is controlling us? Making us think we're in love when we're really not?"

He bowed his head and turned away. His silence was answer enough.

I turned his head so he was again looking at me then I leaned in, slowly, until our foreheads touched. His breath hitched.

"Being fated mates isn't just about instinct, Ash. It's not about pheromones or biology. It's deeper than that. It's the way we fit together. The way we think and understand each other without even trying. You make sense to me and I know that I make sense to you. We get each other in a way that no one else can or ever will."

"You don't know that. How can you say that you get me when you barely even know me?"

"Because, I do know you. Better than you think. When I found you in the woods the other night, I didn't just stumble on you. I was drawn to you. I felt it, deep inside, that you needed me. It's like your soul called out to me, leading me to you and I followed. The moment I saw you laying there, curled up under that tree, crying, I knew you belonged to me. I was too scared to admit it then but I knew and I couldn't fight it anymore."

"You were scared? You?"

"Hell yeah I was scared." I chuckled. "I was fucking terrified. I didn't think I'd ever find my mate. I didn't think I deserved one and I fought like hell against it because I was scared if I believed, if I let myself love again, I'd lose you."

"Again?" He looked at me, really looked, and I saw that his eyes were full of pain and sympathy. "You were in love before?"

I nodded. "When I was sixteen. His name was Sam. At the time, I really thought he was the one."

"What happened?"

My heart clenched just thinking about him. I hadn't spoken about Sam in years. I'd done my best to try and forget him but I never could. Not really. He'd always been there, just beneath the surface. I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I knew Ash's past, what had happened to him. He deserved to know mine too, no matter how much it hurt to talk about.

"We'd always been close." I began. "We grew up together, went to the same school, even our parents were close friends. As we got older we began to have more romantic feelings. Everyone thought it was just a school boy crush but it was more than that. At least I thought so at the time. I was crazy about him. Even convinced that he was my fated mate. We weren't eighteen yet so we didn't know for sure but it felt that way. I had imagined an entire life with him. He was everything to me, my whole world."

I noticed Ash tense at my words. "Baby, it was a long time ago. You're it for me now, I promise."

"I know." He tried to smile. "It's just hard hearing you talk about someone else like that."

"I get that." I told him. "But you're here now, with me, not him."

He nodded, relaxing a bit more. The next part was going to be hard for him to hear but I had to finish. He needed to hear the rest of the story and he needed to hear it from me.

"Anyway," I continued, "like I said, we were in love, or at least we thought we were. Things were great, we were happy. Then Sam got pregnant. Our parents were pissed, we were sixteen and too young to be parents. I was scared at first. I wanted kids but never thought I'd become a dad at sixteen. The more I thought about it though, the more excited I got. Yeah, we were young but so what? We'd just be starting our family a little early. It's what we both wanted so I was totally on board. We were having a kid. I fell in love with that kid before it was even born. Sam and I even planned to be mated when we turned eighteen. Everything was perfect, until the cub was born..."

I had to pause and collect myself before I could go on. I hadn't realized just how raw my emotions were, even after all this time. The hurt, the betrayal, it was all still there. I'd been angry, furious, but I never really allowed myself to feel anything else and now, all those repressed emotions were breaking free and rising to the surface.

"It wasn't yours." Ash said suddenly, like he was reading my mind.

I nodded. "It wasn't mine. I'd planned my entire life around Sam and our cub only to have it all come crashing down. I still loved him but the hurt was too deep. He begged me not to leave him. He claimed he didn't love the other guy, that it only happened once but I couldn't forgive him. Every time I looked at him or looked at the baby all I could think about was how he'd betrayed me."

"So you broke up?"

"Yeah."

"What happened to Sam and the baby? Are they still here, in the Pride?"

I shook my head. "When he turned eighteen he found his fated mate. Everyone was pissed at him for hurting me and he was ostracized. Eventually he and his mate left the Pride and moved away. I haven't seen him or heard from him in six years. Not that I ever expected to or even wanted to. We were over the minute I found out he'd cheated on me."

Ash reached out and took my hands. "I'm sorry that happened to you." He said softly. "You didn't deserve that and Sam's an idiot. He had the most wonderful guy in the world and could have been really happy but he fucked it all up."

I smiled and kissed his knuckles then shook my head. "Sam and I would never have been happy together. The moment he cheated I knew he wasn't my fated mate and I would only be happy with my fated mate... you."

Ash frowned. "But how do you really know you'd be happy with me?"

"Do you feel safe with me?" I asked.

He blinked, "Well, yeah. I do."

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course."

"Even when you're afraid? Do you trust me then?"

"More than anyone." He said softly.

"Baby, that's not chemistry. That's not something forcing you to feel that way. That's us. You and me. That's something real."

I took a breath then brushed a strand of hair away from Ash's face so I could see his beautiful eyes. "I get that you're scared. I understand it. You're worried that I'll wake up one day and decide you're not worth it. You're worried that my family, my Pride, will force me to choose between you and them and that I'll choose them. Baby, trust me, that will never happen. I love my family and I love my Pride. I don't want to lose them but if they can't accept that you're my mate then I don't need them in my life. Family doesn't always mean blood, kitten. A true family can be people you choose. People who understand you and love you, unconditionally. Family accepts you completely, faults and all. Those are the people I want in our life, people who accept and celebrate our love. Anyone else isn't worth our time or energy."

His eyes searched mine, desperate and unsure. "But, what if..."

"Baby, stop." I said. "You can spend all night coming up with reasons why we shouldn't be together, wondering if what we feel is real or not, and debating the grand scheme of life itself but honestly, none of that matters. I don't care how I came to love you, Ash."

I pressed my hand gently to his chest, over the frantic beating of his heart. "All that matters is that I do love you. And yeah, we're just starting to get to know each other, but we have time. We have time to learn and grow and figure this out together."

He didn't answer. Just stared at me like he was waiting for the punchline of a cruel joke.

I smirked. "It's like Romeo and Juliet. Love at first sight. No doubts. No second guessing. They just knew."

Ash frowned. "They also killed themselves at the end."

I snorted. "Okay, bad example."

"Terrible," he muttered.

"But, you know what I mean," I said, smiling despite myself. "It doesn't have to make sense. It just is. You were made for me and I was made for you. That's it. That's the whole story."

Ash hesitated, then shook his head with a soft, broken laugh. "I'm just afraid I'll ruin your life."

"Kitten, you are my life." I told him. "And I promise you, Ash. Without you, it wouldn't be much of a life at all."

His eyes welled up again, and this time he didn't try to hide it. His fingers gripped my shirt like he needed something solid to hold onto. I reached up and cupped his jaw, brushing away his tears with my thumb.

"I don't deserve you." He whispered.

"You deserve the whole damn world." I breathed, leaning in to kiss the corner of his mouth. "But I'll start with making you feel like you belong, because you do. You belong with me."

He leaned down slowly, curling into me, his arms wrapping around me like a sweet lullaby. I stood and pulled him with me, gently guiding him back onto the bed. I helped him shift beneath the covers, tucking the blankets around him like something precious, because he was.

"Sleep now, love." I said before moving away, ready to claim the chair for the night.

"Victor?"

"I stopped, turning to look at him. "Yeah?"

"Stay, please."

My heart quickened. "You sure?"

He nodded. "Just... hold me please."

Gods. I had no idea how he managed to break me apart and heal me all in the same breath, but I knew in that instant that I would do anything just to make him happy.

"Okay." I climbed in beside him and he turned to me immediately, curling into my chest like he belonged there. And he did. Every bit of him belonged here, next to me. I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tightly against me. His breath evened out against my chest, slow and soft, but I could tell he wasn't asleep. Not yet. His fingers moved absentmindedly over my shirt. Curling and uncurling in the fabric almost like he was trying to make sure what he felt was real, that I was real. He moved closer, closing the distance between us, his chest flush with mine. I could feel the beating of his heart through his shirt and felt his breath hot against my throat.

I lifted my hand and touched his face. His skin was soft and smooth to the touch and so delicate, like petals of a flower. I loved touching him. Just letting my fingers explore his beautiful face but I wasn't even sure if I if I should. If he was even okay with it.

He didn't seem to mind though. Instead of pulling away, he closed his eyes and purred softly while my fingers traced the edge of his cheek and down along his jaw line. Before I even realized what I was doing, I felt my thumb gingerly brushing over his lips.

His skin against mine felt so amazing. An electrical tingle suddenly shot down my arm, all the way to my finger tips. Ash's eyes fluttered open and he smiled.

"What was that?" He asked, feeling the jolt as well.

I shook my head. "No idea, but it felt... nice."

"This feels nice." He echoed my words. "Being here, with you. It feels right."

"It does." I agreed.

"It feels like I've known you my whole life." He whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "Like I've been looking for something I didn't even know was missing and now that I've found you..."

"You feel whole." I whispered.

"Exactly. Is that how you feel too?"

"It is. It's how I've felt since the moment I first saw you. A stranger standing in the room beside Jai and yet you felt so familiar, like we were old friends, separated by years and distance and suddenly reunited."

Ash pulled back a little, a soft, pink blush covered his cheeks. "I... I want to kiss you."

My heart jumped and all I could do was stare at him. So beautiful, so innocent. All I wanted to do in that moment was scoop him up in my arms and kiss him long and hard, with gentle love and passion, the way he was meant to be kissed, the way he deserved to be kissed.

I cupped his cheeks and leaned in. Our lips touched, but just barely, Sweet and tender. His mouth opened, inviting me in and I accepted. My thumb brushed over his cheek bone as my tongue explored his mouth. Ash moaned softly into the kiss, the sound blooming in his chest like the first warmth of dawn. His arms slid around my neck, drawing me in with quiet desperation. I cupped the back of his head, threading my fingers through his silken, obsidian locks.

His lips parted more, his breath hot and shallow as I deepened the kiss. My other hand found his waist, fingers grazing the hem of his shift before slipping beneath to touch the warm, smooth skin of his lower back. His muscles tensed, then relaxed against me, and he inhaled sharply, like he'd forgotten how to breathe until just now.

I broke the kiss and he whimpered in protest until he felt my lips touch his face, tenderly trailing kisses along his jawline. His skin was warm beneath my mouth, faintly trembling. I nuzzled the curve of his neck and pressed soft kisses just below his ear. He shivered. Not from fear but desire. In that moment, I realized that nearly everything we'd come to believe about about Vampires, everything we'd been taught, had been wrong.

I thought his skin would be cold and clammy but it wasn't. I'd been told that Vampires smelled like grave yard dirt and rot but that wasn't true either. We'd always believed that Vampires didn't have the capacity to feel love, that they were cold and heartless, literally. I believed that their hearts were dead, useless organs that never beat, that their lungs could not take in air, that they didn't sleep, or eat, or have desires, other than drinking blood. None of that was even remotely true.

My father was wrong too. Ash wasn't a walking corpse. He was alive, warm and virile. He was everything I'd ever wanted in a mate and more. He was perfection and he could, absolutely, love. I felt it in his touch... in his very soul.

"You are so beautiful." I murmured against his throat.

He let out a shaky breath and arched toward me, his fingers slipping under my shirt and splaying across my lower back. His touch was tentative, like he as learning the terrain of my body, inch by inch. I let my hands wander as well, slow and patient, mapping the dips and curves of his body, my fingers gliding softly over the path of his spine.

We moved in perfect harmony, pushing our bodies closer until there was nothing between us but heat. I slid my thigh between his legs, our bodies flush. His lips found mine again and he kissed me, desperate and hungry. I could feel him hardening against me. I was already there. My whole body ached with need but I fought back the urge to rush and take more than he was offering. I couldn't. I wouldn't. Not with him. Not like this. I had to be slow, gentle and so very careful.

My hand slid down his back, over his thigh, cupping and squeezing his ass. He lifted slightly, giving me better access. I continued rubbing his ass through his pants, then moved my hand to the underside of his thigh, then on top, until I slid my hand between his legs, slowly working my way higher. I ran my hand over the hard bulge pressing against the joggers he wore but when my hand found the waist band of his pants, he stiffened.

Suddenly, it was like a thread snapped. He flinched and jerked back, his eyes wide, panic building behind his green orbs. He turned his back to me, hugging his chest. "I... I'm sorry," he whispered, "I can't. I thought I could but I just..." His voice cracked. "I'm so sorry, Victor."

I reached out and turned him back around so he was facing me again. Tears welled in his eyes and he tensed at my touch.

"Hey," I said softly, my heart breaking just a little. "Ash, baby, I'm not going to hurt you."

His shoulders shook as the tears fell.

"Baby, look at me. Please."

He opened his eyes slowly. "Victor..."

"Shh." I said. "It's okay. You have nothing to be sorry about. Nothing has to happen tonight. We don't need to rush anything."

When Ash spoke next, his voice sounded small and broken. "But it's our wedding night. You must have expected..." His hands trembled. "I figured you'd want to..."

I smiled. "I do. More than anything. But not until you're ready. The first time we make love should be beautiful and magical. I want it to feel right."

"You deserve someone who isn't used up and broken." His words hit me like a punch to the gut.

I reached up and touched his face again, wiping a tear from his cheek with my thumb. "You're not used up, or broken, Ash. You're hurting. That's different. What you've been through, no one should have had to endure. Of course it's going to take time. Of course you're scared. I'd be more concerned if you weren't."

"I want to be with you." His eyes locked on mine, wide and imploring. "I want to make love to you. It's just... it's like my body remembers things I don't want it to and I can't get those memories out of my head."

"I know." I whispered, pressing my forehead to his. "But baby, you don't need to push yourself."

I sat up, leaning back against the head board and pulled him into my lap. When he didn't pull away, I wrapped my arms around him. He curled into me, holding on tight like I was the last solid thing left in the world.

"You've never had a partner that loved you, not really." I said quietly, smoothing out his long hair with my hand. "Not someone who would take care of you. Who wants you to feel safe."

He nodded against my shoulder.

"Well, now you do. And I promise you, you'll never be hurt like that again. I will never hurt you. I will never pressure you. If the most I get is just holding you in my arms every night while you sleep, then I'll count myself lucky."

Ash was crying again. "It's not fair to you." He sobbed. "You're such a good man, you deserve better. You should run while you still can. Find someone better, someone who isn't all screwed up."

I kissed the top of his head. "Don't talk like that."

"But it's true."

"No, it's not. And I'll never run from you, Ash. I'm here for the long haul, remember? Better or worse?" I smiled faintly against his hair. "You're stuck with me now, so you'd better get used to it because I'm not going anywhere."

He let out a tearful laugh and snuggled deeper into my chest. "You're too good for me."

I leaned my head back, cradling him in my arms and sighed. "Don't be stupid." I told him. "You're too good for me."

He started to speak again, to protest, but I cut him off gently. "Shut up and go to sleep. You've had a rough night."

He gave a breathy chuckle, nuzzled against my neck and whispered, "I love you."

I smiled as a gentle warmth filled my chest. "I love you too." I murmured, holding him closer. His breathing slowed, deepened, until I felt the weight of sleep settle over him. His head relaxed against my shoulder, his fingers loosely curled against my chest.

I stayed awake a while longer, watching the moonlight shift across his gorgeous face. I made myself a silent vow then and there. Whatever battles come, whatever ghosts he carries, I will be his shield. I will protect him, and love him. Unconditionally. For as long as he'll have me.