P&BJ

P&BJ

My friend Angela is hot and sweet and smart in a special way and I've never slept with her despite always wanting to. She just always had a boyfriend the whole time I've known her - then she got married.

Now, I wish I had slept with her. But this is the story about how I got something else. You see, Angela has always confided in me. I'm the one she would go to when she needed to talk. I wasn't exactly friend zoned because we did have sexual tension. It wasn't that she wasn't attracted to me. But we didn't cross lines either.

So Angela and Mark didn't have sparks in the bedroom and I couldn't imagine that it was her that was to blame. She was always doing things to add spice. She needed spice. Mark was just very satisfied with standard guy on top and lots of blowjobs. And Angela did blowjobs even if they weren't her favorite.

Her favorite way to add spice was to include food. You know chocolate and whipped cream drizzled over boobs. Honey. Ice cream. Feeding each other grapes. Strawberry capped nipples. Cuddling with oils. A donut ringed dick. You can't blame her for not being creative.

She might have gone too far with the bananas or cucumbers. And the Gummy Bears and Swedish Fish weren't exactly a hit.

I was on Mark's side when she told me about the American cheese slices and hot sauce.

So when she asked me what I thought about her P&BJ idea I told her straight up it was stupid.

"Angie, you've gone too far now, PB&J is a bad idea. It's not sexy at all."

"No, you didn't listen I said, P&BJ! Though I actually tried that other thing before, don't ask."

"What's the difference?"

"PB&J stands for peanut butter and jelly. The peanut butter gets everywhere and when you lick it off your mouth gets dry. With P&BJ I would really be combining Mark's desire for, yet again, another BJ, with my inclination toward the great aphrodisiac food."

"Ok, so how would it work?"

"So I would stick a peanut into Mark's urethra and give him a blowjob so that when he came it would get shot out explosively. "

I literally winced, "That's the stupidest idea you've ever had."

"That's what Mark said. But I know it'll be good. And I mean, I don't even like giving blowjobs, so here I am offering a compromise and all he can talk about is his most prized possession. I should be his most prized possession."

"Tell me again why it would be good."

"Can't you just see it? My mouth would be pistoning up and down, jackhammer style, then the pressure would build up in cum filled nuts. Then all that cream would come shooting out but when it hit the peanut even more pressure would build until with a sudden burst the peanut would blast out in the most intense volcanic cum eruption ever. Just picture how strong that orgasm would be!"

"What I'm really picturing is explaining to an ER doc why he has to extract a peanut from your husband's pee slit."

She crossed her arms, "Well, he won't even try it!"

"I totally get that."

I looked across the table at her luscious lips and amazing cleavage and I weighed it in my mind: a possibly painful insertion, an embarrassing trip to the emergency room, a backflow of cum doing who knows what. And all that potential bad stuff would be balanced against a definite blowjob from a woman I've dreamed about for years.

"What if you practiced - the peanut thing. You could explain to Mark how if you did it on another guy you might even to learn to like blowjobs."

The look on her pretty face was priceless, "Confusion, happiness, disgust, and lust. Then she said something as if it were her own idea, "I could talk to Mark about it. And guess who would be the perfect guinea pig?"

I feigned surprise, "Go on... who are you thinking?"

"You won't think it's so crazy when you hear it. But there's always been something between us. It would be a one time thing, for science. Or to save my marriage for my husband who loves me but just doesn't desire my fetish."

"I was smiles from ear to ear, "You want to give ME a blowjob? I would be taking quite a risk... And it might take two or three risky tries to perfect it."

"THAT'S why I don't like blowjobs."

"Why? What'd I say?"

Mark hasn't even heard the idea yet and you're already angling for more. I don't like blowjobs because of the expectation that it's my duty to give them. If it were up to Mark he would snap his fingers and I would just fall to my knees."

So if a man had more gratitude and didn't take you for granted you might like them?"

"I don't see why not."

I glanced at her phone with intentionality, "What are you waiting for? Go call him."

Fifteen minutes later she returned. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation.

"So I talked to Mark and he gave me a hall pass. He says if I can convince you to try it on his terms, and it works, then I can try it on him."

"Terms? 'Cause I'm not going for a ping pong ball - only a peanut."

"He says, no kissing. And no sex. That's a hard no. And we can't be naked, just what needs to come off."

I glared at her cleavage, "You know "the sight of a woman's breasts, especially a woman with breasts as fantastically perfect as yours, is an integral part of the whole blowjob experience. I have terms of my own and the first is your top needs to come off."

"You really think I have perfect boobs? They're not too hefty?"

"Perfect! Magnificent! Astounding! I couldn't even consider going through with this if your girls weren't a part of it. And Angela, there's no such thing as too hefty."

"I'll have to call Mark back."

When she came back she kind of shimmied her boobs excitedly, "He agreed. But we've got a counter offer."

"No kissing. No sex. Bare boobies, and..."

And what?"

"And for every time you and I are together, YOU have to suck him off."

I glossed over the part where I sucked his cock because, really, being with Angela was by far the most important thing, "We're talking about an ongoing thing here!?"

"Yep! Like I said, I don't like giving blowjobs. This is my ticket out."

"Hold on. Hold on. I really like the idea of being with you multiple times. And I get that you want a ticket out and he still wants blowjobs."

"But if you blow me with the peanut and then I blow him. For there to be ongoing blowjobs for him you would have to blow me again, and again, and again. That's no ticket out. That's just a trade from him to me." I took a little chance to reframe the mindset, "Maybe that's exactly what you need."

"You weren't exactly listening and I haven't really explained the offer yet. The first time I'll blow you with the peanut. After that you can be with me as much as you want - but for boobjobs. And for every time we're together you suck him off."

I couldn't believe my good fortune, "Titty fucks! I fucking love titty fucks. They're actually better than blowjobs."

Surprised, she kind of cocked her head sideways, "I love titjobs too! And I think they're better than blowjobs too. Three years and Mark hasn't fucked my boobs once."

But there was another problem with their offer, "Angela, you know... kissing is kind of an integral part of a titty fuck. Without any kissing it would be reduced to a cold act with no feeling. I don't think I could cum from a titjob without kissing."

She sat stone still for a minute. Then I noticed silent tears rolling down her face. I moved over to her side, "What'd I say? What's wrong?"

"Mark doesn't kiss me after blowjobs."

"Well, that's not totally unheard of."

"Mark doesn't kiss me BEFORE blowjobs either." I couldn't fathom such a thing.

"But, but he kisses you other times?"

"Every morning before work. Every day after work. And a little during Missionary. When our faces are right there next to each other."

I just held her, as a friend, until she was collected and ready to go home. I walked her to her car and went to mine. I was just about to pull out of the lot when she came running up to my car, rapping on my window urgently.

Concerned, I rolled it down. "Teddy, on Friday when we do the peanut thing - we can kiss. Just don't tell Mark." I really liked watching her butt as she skipped away.

When Friday arrived my doorbell rang five minutes early. Angela was there shaking a blue cardboard can of nuts. I smiled at her weakly, holding the door wide to let her in. "Are we allowed to hug?"

"I guess not. It's a hall pass with rules, not a license to cheat." But we both leaned forward and kissed, more than a peck but less than a smouldering french kiss. I still felt guilty.

Sitting on the couch she opened the can and broke the vacuum seal with a pop causing me to jump, "Are you nervous?"

"Petrified." I ate a few nuts.

"Aw, you're so sweet to do this for me, to save my marriage."

"I always want the best for you Angela. But the promise of a blowjob and continued get togethers is a pretty strong incentive too."

"I guess we should get started."

"Can we just sit together for a bit first?"

"Still petrified?"

"Yea, but it just feels right to have your body next to mine first." We sat side by side, talking.

In time she slid to the floor between my legs and I helped her take my pants off, "I showered twice."

"That's nice. You didn't have to."

I lifted my hips when she tugged my underwear off, "They were right."

"Who?"

"You're past girlfriends. We talked you know. They said it was pretty."

"I'm glad you like it. Maybe if you took your top off now."

"It'll be easier to put the peanut in when it's soft."

"Are you some sort of expert on this?"

"No, but Mark and I did sounding rods." I asked what she meant with my expression. "If you were going to do anal sex you wouldn't just start cold turkey. You would build up to it with progressively larger butt plugs."

"You and Mark did butt stuff?"

"We tried. I got myself ready with the plugs and lube, but when it was time he just wanted to do it the regular way. Anyway, if I'm gonna put a peanut in here," She indicated my meatus with her glance, "then I should probably get it ready."

Still nervous all I could say was, "Yea, get it ready."

She reached into her purse and pulled out a bag of these rods she had mentioned. "You're, like, really prepared. How do they work?"

"They're sterile. And I have lube. I'll start with small ones and work up to peanut sized."

"You and Mark really used these too?"

"Once. It wasn't his thing." She put a shiny metal rod at the opening to my dick and easily inserted it about two inches down." When she removed it I remembered to breathe again.

"It really takes a lot of trust to do this with you."

"I bet you're right. I won't hurt you."

She did four more rods until we agreed the last one was peanut sized. It stretched a little.

Holding my timid shrunken dick in her warm comforting hand she produced a single peanut, "This is gonna give you the most mind blowing orgasm of your life."

She placed it gently at the tip. "Wait! I cried. The salt."

"Oh right, she stuck it in her mouth, "Do you think I should insert it with my fingers or my mouth?"

"I think fingers are a lot more nimble and safer."

Faster and easier than you would believe three-quarters of the nut was hidden from view with the tiniest part showing at the end of my dick hole. "Huh," I announced, "That doesn't hurt at all,"

"You thought it would?"

"I was sure it would."

Suddenly she was pushing on it with a sounding rod, "Wait! Leave it where it's at."

"I can't. It'll just fall out and you won't get the extra pressure. Trust me. I'm only gonna push it down about an inch."

"I've still got this feeling that this is really stupid. They're gonna write medical papers about me."

"In a minute I'm gonna suck it right out."

"That does sound pretty good. Do it." And she did.

"How's that?"

"It's not great. This better work."

The beautiful lady started licking my dick all over in long swipes of her tongue from base to tip. "You're smiling. It doesn't look like you hate blowjobs."

"You're not pressuring me. And you trust me."

I reached down, grasping her T-shirt and tugging it upward. "Let's see these lovelies."

"Oh, Teddy, what a good idea." She stuck out her chest. "Do the bra too."

"I can't wait! You know I saw them once?" I unfastened the bra clasp.

"I know. On that trip to the dunes." She pulled her shoulders through and tossed it. As her boobs fell out I was transfixed.

"It was the best sexual experience of my life, the dunes."

"But you've had sex with Mellissa and Tracy and lots of pretty and fun girls. Like actual sex, and blowjobs too?"

"I know. But none of them were you." She leaned forward wrapping her jugs around my cock in a warm sexual boob embrace.

"Ooooh, now that's what I'm talkin' about. Are we allowed to do this or are we only allowed a blowjob?"

"Of course it's allowed." She grabbed her boobs, one in each hand, jiggling them on my growing erection.

I lifted her chin gently, "Angie, you really do have the most amazing breasts in the world."

"You're just saying that because they happen to by on your substantial cock."

"No, the smooth skin, pert nipples, gentle undercurve, perfect size and weight."

"You keep saying perfect. You just can't mean that."

"They were perfect when you were eighteen, perfect now that you're 30, and perfect at every age in between. I really mean that. And what do you mean substantial?"

She had this gigantic smile stretching across her face, "I'm starting to think you DO like my boobs." She leaned back so I could see all of them. "And you're sure they don't hang too low?"

"What are you talking about? They hardly hang at all. You can't even use that word to describe them."

She giggled with glee, pushing them together and up, "Now let's talk about your big cock. Tracy said it was too huge to fit it all in her mouth, but I didn't believe her. Has anyone ever sucked it all?"

"It's not that big. And not many, but a few." She held her hand up next to my dick, like she was measuring it.

"Do you expect me to take it down my throat? It's bigger than Mark's." She wrapped her hand around my shaft.

"Do whatever you like. I'm just happy to be here with you." My fingers were still under her chin and I leaned forward to kiss her. I couldn't help but moan when our lips touched. Touching my lips to hers was the single greatest pinnacle of my life. A almost forgot about getting a blowjob or a boobjob.

And then she stroked my cock from base to top. "Woah! That's not good. The peanut doesn't feel good at all in there."

She held my dick up for inspection. As if she could see the peanut in my urethra. "I suppose I better not jerk it any more. I'll just use my mouth."

She wrapped her lips on my mushroom and started sucking immediately. "Oh, Angela that's great."

"What's the best part? My lips?" Here she gave it a big slurp. "Or my tongue?" Here she gave it a swirl and lick.

"When you lifted up and your perfect boobs brushed on my balls. That was best."

"You're the first man I've ever met who didn't prefer blowjobs."

"And your the first woman I've met who likes titty fucking."

"Next time. For today we're gonna make that peanut shoot out on top of a fountain of cum." She resumed her sucking. She pistoned up and down, jackhammer style. She massaged my balls with a distinct upward stroke. I figured she was trying to work my cum through my vas deferens and up into my shaft. A for effort anyway. And lastly she would plunge down on my dick with a loose mouth grip on the way down followed by a tight one on the way up.

I started to warn her that I was close. All my girlfriends wanted to pull off at the end. And since her goal here was to watch a peanut being ejected as if out of a hose, I was more sure she would pull off.

"I'm getting close!"

She raised up on her knees so her mouth was directly above my pee slit and the line of fire would be straight down her throat. She hummed ambiguous words, which I interpreted as, "Give it to me. You can cum anytime."

Perfect tits rubbed my shaft. My knees shook. My hips thrust involuntarily. And then I had a worrisome thought, "Pull off or that peanut's gonna go into your throat and choke you. Pull off!" But she wouldn't.

My nuts pulled up tight. My prostate contracted. My cum gathered and pushed upward through my cum tube. And when that torrent of cream hit the peanut in an orgasmic tidal wave it hurt like a motherfucker.

I screamed and thrashed and was saved only by luck: my massive load went around the peanut oozing out painfully but at least it came out.

Angela swished it around in her mouth, "I can't find the peanut. It doesn't seem to be in my mouth anywhere."

In a cold sweat the words tumbled out of my mouth, "That's because it's stuck! Fuck it hurts! Get it out."

The look of panic on Angelas face was most extreme, "Fuck!" She jammed the first two inches of my cock into her mouth and sucked with great intensity. Not the kind of sucking associated with blowjobs. But the kind when you try to get a too frozen milkshake through a straw.

"I was wrong. So fucking wrong. I'll get it." She pushed on my cock just below where the peanut was. She circled two fingers around my shaft trying to slide that peanut up. Frantically, she sucked some more and she even shoved a finger up my ass trying to push it out from behind."

She slumped down, resting her forehead on my knee, "I'll get you to the hospital. I owe you so much. I'll owe you forever."

"Wait! It moved when you pushed right there. Squeeze both sides and work it out from this spot."

Trying slowly and carefully now, she pushed where it I'd told her to. "I can feel it! It's working."

During long minutes of nudging and milking the peanut gradually made its uncomfortable way up my urethra until at long last when we could see the tiniest hint of peanut she successfully sucked it out.

As soon as it was in her mouth she ran to the bathroom to spit it out. I heard her in there swearing, still freaking out despite the fact that the crisis was over.

Later she came out, phone in hand, "I offered to suck off my husband in your place but he says a deal is a deal and it has to be you to create fuckin' 'reciprocity." I even offered two times for each time I'm with you.

Going to her I held her close. She looked up into my eyes, "How can you stand to look at me?"

She was still naked from the waist up and I can't say I didn't enjoy holding her body on mine even in my current post peanut pain, "It was a mistake. A stupid mistake. Except that you were trying to make things better and you believed in it. I knew all along it was stupid but I went along with it anyway for selfish reasons."

"I'm so stupid. Kick me out of your life and I'll just come back to give you a titty fuck every Friday. I'll even sneak over so you won't owe Mark."

I didn't send you away that time when you dented my car to spare a squirrel. I didn't send you away when you loaned my credit card to the homeless man so he could buy dinner. And I didn't send you away when you accidentally left the hose on in my yard for a week flooding the neighbor's and destroying my water bill."

All she could do was blink, wiping away tears.

"But Angela, you stayed by me when I ruined prom by punching through the wall in your father's house and broke every bone in my hand. You stayed by me when I sank your boat. And you stayed by me when I called your best friend a stuck up cunt and she broke all ties with you.

She laughed weakly, "She WAS a stuck up cunt and what you didn't know was that she stole my boyfriend."

"Angela, none of that matters, I think we can weather a few stupid things."

"Well, now you've agreed to suck a cock. What'ya say about that?"

"What will Mark do if I refuse?"

"He'll probably divorce me."

"Then I'll suck his cock."

"What? Why?"

"Because I can't make you break your promise to your husband. In fact, even though the absolute best thing was our kiss, it was wrong and we have to stop doing it. And because I want to keep seeing you and it'll be worth it to suck a cock every week."

"How wrong can a kiss be compared to me giving you a blowjob? It's small. It's nothing."

"You're wrong. The kiss was the most meaningful part. And one of the few things Mark expected us NOT to do. If we can't be trusted to honor the deal as made, how can we even trust ourselves?"

Saturday I went to see Mark. Angela wasn't there. "Mark, do you love her?"

"Of course I love her, she's mine."

"How could you make a deal to let her blow me?"

Because I'm going to get mine. Because she's been your best friend since before I knew her. Because this is either going to drive a wedge between you two or I'm going to leverage it to make her suck me off daily. Now let's get busy."

He sat back on his couch with only his penis sticking out through his fly. With his thighs spread he closed his eyes, snapped his fingers, and pointed to his dick. I couldn't believe it. It was just how Angela had described it.

I took his cock between my fingers and sucked on it following his condescending directions until he flooded my mouth with cum. I hated giving that blowjob. Having a cock in my mouth wasn't the worst. Mark was.

When it was over Mark said, "You did a good job. Now come back every Saturday or convince Angela to do it every day."

Mark was more of a problem than I ever imagined. And somehow she loved him. I had to find a way to fix it. In the meantime it had to be me suffering through that rather than her.

When Angela arrived for our next meeting she wore totally hot short shorts, a waistless blouse which was tied in a knot below her incredible, and very fuckable titties. And her makeup was done nicely - she only did that on special occasions.

Before anything could start she spilled her soul, "Mark and I have been having heart to hearts. It turns out he's not a tit man. Every time he had a complaint about my boobs it wasn't me at all. He just doesn't like boobs."

I wanted to understand him. Then I could help her see him for who he really was, "So he's an ass man. I mean you've got a pretty spectacular ass."

"Um, well, I guess he's not really an ass man either."

I struggled to think what else he would be into. Knowing how much he likes blowjobs I suggested, "He's probably a face guy - he likes your beautiful lips?"

Angela let out this big shuddering sigh, "We talked a lot. I think he's not anything. He doesn't even really like touching at all."

"Oh." I wanted to be supportive of her without being supportive of them. But I just didn't have anything to say yet that could dissuade her.

"And Teddy, he loves me in his own way. But he's decided to leave me, let me go. And he's going to give me everything. The house, all of it."

I felt an overwhelming relief for her, "I'm sorry?"

"No, it's actually ok."

"Angela, I've known you for over 12 years. Eight jobs. One marriage. Four relationships. When your dad died. And when your dog died. I always thought you and I would get together. But you've only been single for a total of ten days in all that time and I've always missed my chance. Is it too soon, or too late, for you and me?"

"Teddy, it's both too soon and too late. We've got a lot of lost time to make up for. And Teddy - I don't think we even need to wait for the divorce to be final. There's nothing there to honor."

Author's note:

If you liked my story please give it a good rating. Add it to your favorites to read later if you want. Follow me and you'll see all my stuff.  

I often attempt to create tension in the main character's motives. In turn, this often means that characters in the story have flaws and might not even be nice to each other all the time.  

I do my best to write a story worthy of both reading and jerking off to though sometimes I don't succeed. If you think this is a dud there no need to say so.

I really appreciate polite comments! It's what motivates me to write more.

Additionally, if you think the story is posted in the wrong category, remember, there is no bi category, which is why, when I remember, the word 'bi' will be near the top by the title. remember, when the story was first published a Literotica mod had the opportunity to change the category and sometimes they do.