Recovering The Missing Twin

All participants are at least 18 years of age. Adult fiction. Suicide only the trigger.

I woke up in a sister sandwich. Squeezed between Terri, to my front, and her identical twin, Karri, behind me. Since we were all dressed more or less for bed, it wasn't all that unusual. I'm Jimmy and at 23 am two years older than the twins. They really are identical. I can tell them apart because of small things like a mole or scar here or there. Very difficult in the dark, though. Mom and Dad never could, since they weren't close, as were the three of us. Karri, for example, had a scar under her left ear, courtesy of a swing when she was 6. She had a habit of touching it. She also tended to rub her left-hand ring finger.

Describing one of them does both. They were fairly tall at 5'7" and about 110 pounds. Slender, nice boobs (C-cup) and small, tight asses. Long blonde hair, green eyes and a small nose complete the picture. Even their eyebrows are blonde. If they wanted, they could easily have been bookends in any beauty contest you'd care to name.

I was 5'11", weight about 170. Got the same green eyes (Mom), but brown hair (from Dad). I wasn't a gym rat, except to keep in shape for rock climbing.

They are twins in every sense of the word. When one starts a sentence, the other finishes. They seem perfectly aligned, with no separation between them in thought or body. They have a shell completely around them that excludes the world. There's a small breach to admit me. Not fully, as that couldn't happen, but enough to have frequent sister sandwiches. I loved them both, probably way than a brother should. They were the world to me. I would do anything for them.

We crawled out of bed, although Karri made noises like she wanted to remain a little longer. She turned and hugged me. I swatted her on the rear and said we needed to get up to go to work. We sort of bounced around, hitting the bathroom, shower, and closets before ending up in the kitchen. While I made coffee, Terri cooked eggs and bacon. I noticed Karri was a little slow and didn't look very upbeat. I knew she wasn't very excited about her work in City Hall, so I put it down to that. She hadn't really been herself the last two weeks, either. If it continued much longer, I would bring it up. I wasn't too worried, since if there was any major problem Terri would certainly know and be the first to investigate. Terri hadn't said anything.

We got ready to leave and Karri hugged and kissed us as we went out the door. Not usual, but also not really normal. She was always the last out the door since she didn't start till a little later.

Mentally, I was still enjoying the remnants of the sister sandwich. It always left a good feeling. It was the last I would ever have.

Since I passed by Terri's work, we carpooled. We got home about 5:30. Karri's car was already there. When she didn't answer when we called, we went looking for her. We found her in her bed. She was dead...

We tried shaking her, but she was already cold. We called 911 and they sent the paramedics. Meanwhile the operator had us perform CPR, but it was hopeless. They confirmed her death when they arrived.

In the kitchen were two empty bottles of sleeping medicine and an envelope addressed to us. It was difficult to read as both of use were crying our eyes out. We finally managed it:

"Terri, Jimmy,

I was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer and given 3-6 months to live. Inoperable. Chemo or radiation would only prolong the suffering for a short while. I knew it would be very painful at the end and couldn't stand to put you guys through seeing me that way. No hope and fading away, every day the best day of the rest of my life. I want you to remember me as I was this morning, full of love for both of you. I'm sorry for taking the coward's way, but I can't make you suffer that much. Better now to make it quick. Take care of each other. Please forgive me.

I'll love the two of you for all eternity.

K"

I couldn't do more than hug Terri. We cried in great gasping heaves. It seemed like hours. The police arrived shortly after the paramedics left. We showed the officer the suicide note. She wanted her doctors' names. We found the GP's and the oncologist's numbers.

I don't remember the rest of the evening; except I called Mom and Dad. They have been divorced for seven years and had moved on with their lives. We didn't have much interaction with either since I had moved out when I turned 18, taking the girls with me. I promised to call later with funeral arrangements. Maybe one or both would show up or then again, neither was also likely.

We muddled through the next few days, making funeral arrangements and such. She didn't really own much - just her car and clothes. Her car was in both hers and Terri's names, so it isn't an issue. Neither of us could bear to go into her room again, so we didn't. We needed to make an exception to find something for Karri to wear for viewing. Terri couldn't go in even for that, so we used one of Terri's dresses.

Terri was just a zombie. She wasn't eating nor sleeping - only crying. Maybe it would have been merciful if she went with her twin. I was glad that didn't happen. Maybe since I'm not a twin I couldn't understand the depth of the feelings between them. It's bad enough just being an older brother.

Mom showed up for the service. Dad forever lost any feeling I had for him. In addition to not showing up, sending flowers or anything that could be interpreted as sympathy, he said she was going to hell because she was a suicide. If he had been within reach, I'd have been going to hell for having killed him. Fucking unbelievable! His own daughter. And add to that his still living daughter. I was so mad I couldn't see straight. Told neither Mom nor Terri - just that he couldn't make it.

I don't remember too much of the funeral, aka life celebration, or graveside service. Way too painful. Mom was a small comfort but still caught up in her own world to be of much use. She left that evening. She did have her newest family - four and thirteen-year-old stepdaughters to look after.

I did what I could for Terri. She may not have been catatonic, but it was close. I forced her to eat a few bites and drink some warm milk. She needed a shower - I could smell the stress on her. Could she even take off her clothes and get in? Too late I remembered. Should have thought of it before Mom left.

"Terri, you need to get in the shower and get ready for bed."

She sat on the sofa and looked at me as if to ask what I meant. Couldn't think of anything but took her hand and walked her to the bathroom. She followed like a puppy dog. I talked myself into helping her, thinking it was the lesser of impossible things that needed to be done.

She didn't react when I started to remove her dress and stockings. Maybe she'd respond after that. Nope. She just stood there. I turned on the water and with shaking hands took her bra and panties off. It was impossible not to notice her breasts and pussy, blonde hair so fine it's almost invisible. I tried to ignore it and encouraged her to get in the shower. Got her to step in. She just stood there, water running over her, hands at her side. I did the only thing I could think of and stepped into the shower fully dressed.

Shampooed her hair, even used conditioner. (Guess living with them taught me something.) Used a washcloth to rub her down. No reaction.

Got her out, dried her and put her into pajamas. Led her to her bed and kissed her good night.

Got out of my wet clothes. I didn't really believe in God but I suddenly said: "Please, oh please, don't let her stay this way. Let her come back." That's as close to prayer as I've been in 20 years.

I cleaned up the bathroom and went to bed. Maybe 10 minutes later came a horrible scream that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up! It came from Terri's room. I sprinted there. She was sitting up, screaming unintelligible noises, crying for Karri to come home... For Karri to open her eyes... For Karri to wake up.

I literally threw myself on her, hugging her as if the world depended on how tight I held her. Maybe her world did.

"Terri... Terri... It's Jimmy. I'm here. I'm here. Grab ahold of me."

She stopped screaming and started sobbing so hard that I had difficulty holding on to her. "Jimmy, she's gone. She's gone. How am I going to live without her?"

"Terri, I don't know. You've got me and I'll do anything for you. I would trade places with her if I could."

She seemed to settle down some. "Jimmy, I believe you would... Hold me. Please don't let me be alone tonight."

"Of course, I'll stay with you."

"I'm still alone but you'll help me, won't you?"

"In any or every way I can... Lay down... I know you probably won't sleep but just close your eyes and try to rest."

"If I close my eyes all I see is her face on the pillow - unmoving. How can I..."

"Do as she asked: Remember her as we woke up that morning. All of us together... God, this hurts so much... I can't fully imagine how you feel... Let me try, OK?"

She said nothing. Only relaxed some. She finally dozed off about 4. I never did.

We got up about 9. She seemed better. Maybe something burned out of her. Even managed to eat some toast and have a cup of coffee. We managed to have a quiet conversation, carefully avoiding any mention of Karri. Even though it was a weekday, neither of us was ready to go anywhere. We were on funeral leave, so didn't need to go in.

I persuaded her to go with me to the grocery store. We'd run out of supplies. We had some left over from the wake but had sent most of it home with our friends. Think she actually perked up, getting out of the house.

That night she was able to shower and got ready for bed by herself. I don't think she remembered last night, fortunately. She asked me, actually begged me, to sleep with her again. We got some sleep. It wasn't a dreamless night for her but no screaming. I was so tired that I fell asleep quickly, though I woke frequently whenever she turned over.

Again, in the morning she was more aware and responsive. Fortunately, it was Saturday so we could relax. Monday would be a challenge since we both would be returning to work. The day was almost normal, but I could see she missed Karri, of course. Neither of them had dated much, so Saturday night wasn't a change from the ordinary. She snuggled up to me on the sofa as we watched some mindless show on Netflix. Even I felt the difference, not having a sister on either side of me. A void that would never be filled. Unfortunately, I was also very aware that a beautiful woman was pushed up against me. No matter how I told myself to ignore it, she seemed to be trying to increase contact between her braless tits and my shoulder. When bedtime arrived, I was again invited, no, commanded into her bed.

I knew she wasn't ready to be in bed alone and to be truthful, neither was I. Her rubbing her tits on me actually became more noticeable. It was very difficult to ignore. My dick couldn't either and the traitorous member came alive. I also knew with 100% certainty that she was emotionally shot, and she was trying to find a way to get on with her life. I was glad she didn't currently have a boyfriend because it would be very difficult to not take advantage of her in this fragile state. It was a trial for me, but I couldn't, wouldn't do anything to further hurt her.

We continued to sleep together for the next few weeks. She seemed to be getting better. She was cheery and back to normal at her work. I was feeling muchly relieved at her progress. One problem: She still insisted that I continue to sleep with her. That in itself wasn't the problem. She was just getting more affectionate in bed. It was progressive. She snuggled tighter, her tits pushed more firmly into me, her nipples hard. Sometimes when I woke up she would be in the little spoon position, holding my hand to her breast. Needless to say, I was hard against her ass. She wiggled her rear end, making it even harder. I was completely unable to retreat. She simply followed if I did.

She rolled over one Saturday morning and kissed me. She had kissed me frequently in the past but this time she thrust her tongue into my mouth! Wait a minute. This wasn't a sisterly kiss! I pulled back and asked: "Terri, what are you doing?"

"I'm kissing my brother to show how much I love him, and to thank him for everything he's done for me."

I quickly got up to go to the bathroom and get breakfast started. To say I was uneasy was a gross understatement. Now, I admitted to having read incest stories, among other types of porn. In almost all the brother-sister incest stories, the brother was always reluctant. Virtue signaling that it was wrong. I knew that was bullshit since an 18-year-old would fuck a snake if somebody held its mouth open. Anyway, here I was with my sister coming on to me. I loved her and wouldn't resist her for a moment if she really wanted me that way. Big problem, though. She wasn't nearly recovered from Karri's suicide. Anything I did now would be taking advantage of her. When she was really over the loss of her twin, she would hate me for taking advantage of her in her fragile time. I couldn't stand the thought of her rightfully hating me.

When she came down for breakfast, I said "Terri, we need to talk."

"That sounds bad. Let me drink my coffee first."

We adjourned to the sofa after breakfast. "Terri, I love you with all my heart. I could never hurt you, but you need to understand something. You're not recovered from Karri's death. You're not ready for a relationship..."

"Who's the best judge of my recovery? I think it's me..."

"No, it's not. You're not exactly impartial... Look, you and Karri were so intertwined that your feeling now are much closer to rebound than anything else..."

"Jimmy, we both loved you since we grew boobs. We didn't know how to show it and what your reaction would be. You don't know how many times we talked about it. I'm sure you weren't entirely ignorant of how we felt, but you had to play big brother. Not faulting you for that. It's part of what makes you the brother, the person that you are. From the time we were 18, all we could think about was you."

"I loved the both of you and if Karri were here now, I would be overjoyed to show you just how much. I probably couldn't have hidden it much longer. Forget the brother - sister thing. It doesn't mean anything to me. I loved you both beyond that... But here's the thing: Even though you think you're over her loss, you aren't. I see it on your face when you don't think I'm looking. I see it in your posture, your motions, in many little ways... Please look at me. If I hurt you the way I could if we went down the path you're following, I would be joining Karri. It will literally kill me if I wake up one morning and see hate in your eyes."

"I could never hate you. You know that."

"You can't say that. If you recognized how I betrayed you... I just don't know and don't want to find out."

She is crying at this point and all I wanted to do was hold her, but we have to finish. "I hate being right about your recovery. I'd give anything to love you like you should be loved. If and when you completely get over her death..."

"Get over her death? There isn't enough time in the universe for that! Why can't I just love you, too?"

"I can't answer that. I can only hope there'll be a point where you have grieved enough, and you want to love me because I'm the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Not just because of me being there in your life as your support. No, I want you with all my heart but not yet."

"I kind of understand. It's just I think I'm closer to your inflection point than you think I am. I can wait. Please don't push me away, though. Keep me as close to you as we are now. Can you do that?"

"Yes, of course. It will be difficult. You're, after all, a very beautiful woman and I love you. Hugs and kisses and we evolve. Please, please... I really do love you, but I just can't hurt you."

I really didn't know what I should do. The most rational thing I could do would be to try to put as much distance between us until she had things sorted out. Unfortunately, I wasn't completely rational. I could tell her she wasn't herself until at some point in the future where she could say her sister's name without pain completely filling her heart but what do I do myself? Karri's death really hurt me, as well. Not exactly me rebounding Karri with Terri but I wasn't impartial in my discussions with Terri. Given that leaving her alone would certainly be understood as me abandoning her. That would be Ossa on Pilon, and she probably would never live a normal life. Just the thought of that sent waves of pain all though me. In addition, of course, I would really, really miss her. Such were the booby traps awaiting me. Think I'd prefer a "simple" incest problem where it would just be me and her against the world.

"Terri, one more very unpleasant thing. Studies have shown that identical twins have an extremely high risk of both developing the same cancer. You will need very close monitoring the rest of your life so that if you also develop cancer they can catch it early and treat it."

Her expression didn't change. She was already in sadness mode, "I know. Now I'm going to put you into a very uncomfortable choice. I will schedule a full hysterectomy as soon as I can... Or, we can risk waiting till I have your children."

Holy shit! I didn't have to think long about this. As much as I'd like to make her a mother, I couldn't risk it, "We can't risk losing you. I love you with all my heart and would love to make you a mother, but, no, if you were to develop the cancer, it would kill me even if you survived."

The rest of the day saw us spending a lot of quiet time. We would both be in the living room without any communication, other than looks and glances. I couldn't resolve my feelings. Certainly, she couldn't, either.

Bed arrangements were concluded as Terri simply walked into my room and got under the covers. Pajamas for her and shorts and singlet were my uniform. I enjoyed looking at her before I turned out the light and joined her. Neither of us said anything nor moved to get comfortable. Finally, I said "Good night. I love you."

She responded in simili modo. We slowly relaxed and assumed more comfortable positions. She rolled over and assumed the little spoon position. I reluctantly (bullshit!) put my arm over her waist and pulled her to me. Of course, I was as hard as calculus. Decided that she was a beautiful woman and with her snuggling that getting hard was understandable and impossible to control. She didn't object but then she also didn't respond as she had this morning. Whether it was a response to the request to moderate her feelings or was a response to me for making her wait, I can't guess. It also wasn't obvious that her restraint would continue through the coming weeks, much less just for tonight. Sweating the questions didn't lead to any answers. Finally fell asleep after an hour. I think she was asleep by this time, although I never detected any change in her breathing.

Getting up in the morning was hard, as expected. She was in essentially the same position except her shirt was up to her neck and my hand was cupping a very warm breast that had a very hard nipple. She answered the question about being awake when I tried to remove my hand and she put her hand on top of mine to restrain it. As much as I was enjoying it, I had to get up. She did something strange: One of the ways I could tell them apart was Karri had this scar under her left ear. Now Terri was rubbing her left ear just like Karri had. She didn't appear to be doing it to try to get a reaction from me. It was just a little strange.

She joined me for breakfast. One other thing that Karri did different from Terri was she liked her toast almost charcoal - sometimes setting off the smoke detector. This morning, Terri charcoaled her toast. I didn't say anything. Terri seemed so much livelier today. Much more so than yesterday. Could it be from our talk or her sleeping with me in a more natural way?

All day she was cheery and kept as close to me as she could get away with. She also occasionally rubbed her ear and began to rub her ring finger, left hand - like Karri. Not sure if she was doing it deliberately or just a subconscious imitation of Karri. One major change: Her eyes lost that haunted look that had been my main evidence of her not being over Karri's loss. She now looked me in the eye; her bright green eyes burned with emerald fire. Not with her appearing to be looking out of a cave but as if she was out enjoying a spring day! What could I say? It was as if she looked inside and found her sister smiling up at her.

It is very disconcerting. Very confusing. Could she really have recovered overnight? The rational part of my mind found this very difficult to believe. The part of my heart that loved her was shouting for joy. What the fuck was going on? Pondering didn't produce a resolution. It came to a head when we got ready for bed.

"Jimmy, can I sleep with you again?" She asked when we got to my bedroom door.

Still uncertain about what we were doing, I understood that she didn't want to be away from me. I wanted with all my heart to believe she wasn't still horribly confused, that she was trying to go on with her life. "Of course."

I slipped into the in-suite bathroom to change into shorts and brush my teeth. When I got back into the room the room lights were off, and Terri was already in bed with only a dim nightlight for illumination. When I crawled into bed she immediately assumed the little spoon position. All I felt was warm flesh! As gently as I could, I asked her "Terri, aren't you missing something, like clothes?"

"I need to feel you next to me, not your shorts. Can you take them off?"

This was it! Decision time. Did I give in to my love for her and risk having her hate me in the future or maybe destroy forever our love by turning her down? Alas, I was weak and really did love her. I took off my shorts and shirt.

We had obviously been in swimming suits and also had held each other. Even though both twins wore tiny suits, often merely ribbons, this was different. It felt the same to my hands as I put them on her waist but to the rest of me it was two poles of a magnet coming together with a clash. Never in my life had I experienced the feelings that surged through me when the rest of our bodies came together. Needless to say, I was as hard as hard can be. My dick slid effortlessly into the gap between her thighs. She relaxed as if she had been holding her breath the whole time I was taking off my shorts. Maybe she had been. She pushed back as hard as she could so there wasn't a gap anywhere we could possibly fit together.

"Oh, God, Jimmy! You don't know how long I've waited for this."

"Terri, not exactly sure how this will change our lives, but it certainly will. You know I'll always love you. Now, ten years from now, a hundred... I only wish Karri was here now."

"She is. Don't doubt that for a second. I feel her inside of me, like I'm going to feel you inside of me."

I didn't stop to digest her words. I rolled her over so I could kiss her and feel her tits. She moved far enough away so my dick didn't get bent and kissed me like I've never been kissed. Her tongue was buried in my mouth like it was trying to reach my Adam's Apple. There was a subtle taste that hinted at what I'd find lower down. My hand came to briefly rest on her right tit. My hand didn't stay still for long as I explored her chest. Her nipples were hard, and her areolae firmly crinkled, begging for my touch. The rest of her breasts were soft, smooth and hot. I alternated between pinching the nipples and rubbing over, under and around the rest of her breasts. It was a circuit that included both tits and the separation between them. I continued to kiss her as if it would end the next moment. Her breath was becoming erratic, and she was moaning into my mouth. Meanwhile, she was running her left hand over my face, head and what part of my chest and stomach she could reach.

How long we continued I couldn't tell you. Relativity was playing its role in that indeterminate measure of time. She finally broke the kiss when my hand started south. "Jimmy, you know neither Karri nor myself ever slept with a guy. We did things with each other and toys took care of our cherries. We felt that virginity was as much a state of mind as a physical barrier and hope you'd think so too. We both loved you and agreed that it would be you or nobody. We've been on the pill for years waiting for you...

I feel so bad that Karri never got to experience what we're doing but I know she will feel it through me."

I didn't know what to say or really, how to respond in any rational manner. I just told her again how much I loved her and resumed kissing. My right hand slid down her chest, down her abdomen and into the fine hair on her mound. It was as fine to the touch as it looked, barely there. I could have played with her fur forever if her pussy hadn't been waiting for me. Even locked to her mouth, I could smell her scent. It blossomed out of her, especially when my finger split her lips. I didn't feel any hair on the smooth sides of her labia. She was impossibly wet. Even though I was barely inside, I felt like she was going to roast my finger from the fire of her inner core. She gasped into my mouth and clenched up her whole body as she came. I thought that she had kissed me hard, but she now jammed her mouth into me as if she was trying to break through to my teeth!

Wow!!! I thought she sucked the air out of my body... I broke the kiss to breath. Then I used the break to drop down and inhaled her right nipple. She pushed up as if she was trying to put the whole tit into my mouth. Even though I tried to accept it, it was too big. Had to settle for the nipple and aureola. After feasting on the right one, I sample the left one. It was just as wonderful as the right one!

Don't know how long I alternated between left and right as I stroked her pussy with my right hand. It could have been minutes or hours, but it wasn't long enough. She came again, squeezing my fingers hard between her thighs.

I had to taste her. Abandoned her tits by crawling down, went between her legs, spread her thighs, inhaled her aroma... Moving as fast as I could. Looked up past her mound, images in the soft twilight of the nightlight. Her hair wet, her up on elbows, face watched me, her emerald eyes shining in the dimness, nipples pointing straight up, her pussy hair soaked, fluid running down her labia... I would remember every tiny piece of the image till my dying day.

I jammed my face into her pussy. No subtly, just a great thirst. I pushed my tongue into her as deeply as possible and licked upwards... Heaven! Flavor unbelievable... Tactile sensation bordering on overload... If she was experiencing only half of what I felt, she was probably exploding! She did explode before I completed my upward lick. Another gush of fluid, covering my nose, mouth and cheeks... Ran down my neck in a flood. How could she put out this much liquid?

"Shit... Fuck... What are you doing to us?... Don't stop... Oh, shit... Oh, shit. JIMMY!!!"

I continued licking. Started at her little crinkled star, up to her pussy, just inside, around her clit, then out the top. I could do this forever.

She soon stops me after her next climax. "Put it in... Now, Jimmy... God, now!"

I was more than ready. As I started to slide into her incredible wet pussy, she literally screamed "Yes, we feel it! Deeper... You don't know how long we've waited."

As strange as it seemed to hear her say "we" it didn't sound wrong. Yes, we both felt the presence of Karri. It was as if she was pulling me in while Terri pushed up to bottom me out. We were both incoherent, only able to moan and gasp. The sensations were too intense to last long. I didn't last more than a dozen trips from top to bottom before we all exploded. This may sound strange, but it felt like there were three climaxing as one!

"I know Karri is with us. I will love the both of you forever."

"We love you, too."

I rolled over, pulled her with me to end up on our sides, still joined. I swear I feel a presence at my back. At last, I'm where I truly belonged and would remain: In another sister sandwich.

fin