"Magnum Dong P.I. Vol 4" Pt. 03

This story is about cheating wives.

The story is set in December 1980, about a young man who comes home from college during winter break, and finds a XXX magazine in his parents bedroom.

Part 3, chapters 6, 7, & 8, is the young man, reading the final story in "Magnum Dong P. I. Vol. 4."

Read tags for sexual content.

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Chapter 6. Butterfly Catchers

Flipping the page. The final story titled: "Tricks on Skates." Starring debutant: Maria Cantaloupez. A brunette, porcelain skin, curvy voluptuous who gets caught frolicking in the forest.

Magnum Dong, in the driver's seat of his parked black van, with orange and yellow racing stripes going around the sides and back of the vehicle.

Magnum Dong's skinny friend, and employee going by the nickname Whitey, is sitting in the passenger seat snapping photos. Wearing a tan safari outfit, with a big round brim hat, utility vest with no shirt underneath, cargo shorts and black boots.

"Are target's got on black roller skates, with light blue shoelaces, light blue stoppers, and 8 wheels in light blue." Magnum Dong, peering through binoculars. "Wearing light blue and white candy striped knee high socks, a black pleated miniskirt, and a tight light blue crop top. She all dolled up, with jewelry on, and her brunette hair teased like, like um... What the hell, is her name from Charlie's Angels? And not Farrah Fawcet."

"Jaclyn Smith, I can see the resemblance," Whitey said, smiling looking side-eyed in Magnum Dong's Direction.

"Yeah, Jaclyn Smith, although are target is a bit more curvaceous," Magnum Dong said. "Whitey, you're telling me Mrs. Cantaloupez, is not out here advertising for dicks?"

"I'm telling you boss, followed her for weeks. She's not cheating."

"Maria, Maria, Maria. Look at that, you can see her light blue thong when she bends over. Come on man, she not even wearing a bra. I believe, the light blue crop top, is too small for those size 'DD' cups. My god, the short sleeve shirt is so tight, her damn nipples are about to pierce through the fabric. Combined with a round ass, thick thighs, and shapely calf muscles. It's as if, I'm watching jiggle TV in the flesh. No wonder why her husband has suspicions. And all she's does, is roll around the park?"

"Like I said, boss, she's not cheating. Occasionally goes to the grocery store, sometimes the mall, but she always ends up back here." Whitey, changing out the camera lens. "With those legs and delicious round rump, I'm thinking Mrs. Cantaloupez might have a little black in her."

"Don't know about that, but I do know, she about to have something big and black inside her." Magnum Dong, rubbing his eyes, before peeking back through his binoculars. "Her toned legs, is probably from all the roller skating."

"Like I said boss, been following her for weeks." Whitey, shaking his head and smiling. "The makeup, the jewelry, the clothes. This Spanish butterfly, gets all dressed up like a working girl. Only to trun guys away soon as they walk up to her. She nods her head, flashes her wedding ring, and another one bites the dust. Lady's a cock tease."

"You don't have to tell me she a cock tease. I've been rock hard since I laid my eyes on her. Want to take Señorita to the spot, bite down on her big titties, bend her over and spank Babalu on those bongos, yelling 'Oh Lucy, I'm home.'"

"You're going to have the cleaning lady, polish off your pipe with some Spic & Span."

Magnum Dong, turning towards his friend with eyebrows moving closer together making a sour expression. As Whitey, laughs at his own joke.

"Just because a woman is Hispanic, shouldn't automatically assume she's the cleaning lady. Often being on the receiving end of disparaging and racist remarks, I don't condone my employees to use such language. So hopefully I won't have to remind you again. As for self-deprecation, I'm all ears. Dig this, why did the married chicken cross the road?"

"I don't know boss, why?"

"Because there's a big black cock on the other side. Can you dig it?"

Both men hysterically laughing at the unfunny juvenile joke. High-fiving each other, before getting slap happy with their own rendition of the game "Patty Cakes."

"You know I can dig it. Like me, running from the cops. It's far out and out of sight, my main man." Whitey's right arm extended pointing out into the distance. Both men's laughter dissipating.

"Enough with the horsing around. The client, is paying us to find evidence, of his trophy wife doing the forbidden dance with another man at the roller disco. Seeing the time, we only got 2 hours before it gets dark. I'll go introduce myself to roller vixen. While you take the shag rug, with the bottle of champagne, and the bucket of ice to the secluded spot I showed you. Hopefully this doesn't take long."

The park mostly emptied, with a handful of joggers and bicyclist traveling down paved trails through the forest.

Maria, sitting on a bench with her legs crossed, and long wavy brunette hair parted down the middle. Batting her long black mascara eyelashes under rose colored eyeshadow. Along with rose colored cheekbones and maroon matted lipstick. Fingernails polished in light blue.

Magnum Dong, wearing combat boots and black pants. Jogging back and forth shirtless in front of her. Swinging his arms high and low, coordinating different patterns of punches. As he bobbed, dipped, and weaved from his imaginary opponent's lightning fast hands. Giving the invisible man, one hell of a fight.

"Let's tenderize those ribs of yours. Now a left hand jab, jab, jab to the forehead, and a surprise right hand uppercut. So the punk refuses to go down. Deploying rapid fire low blows." Dropping into the middle leg split position, with fists of fury speed bagging an invisible nut sack. Before launching to his feet, with a Mario Brothers up punch. "Ra-ta-ta-tat, and kaboom! Now stay down, jive turkey."

After announcing his impressive shadow boxing skills under heavy breath. He drops to do a 100 military style push-ups.

Maria uncrosses her legs and leans forward. Gazing down at the large man's biceps, triceps, and chest muscles working together to lift himself up and down.

Magnum Dong, knowing when he's got a fish nibbling on the hook. Reels the target in, switching to one handed push-ups on two fingers.

Mrs. Cantaloupez, unable to break herself away from the sudden outburst of muscle mania being displayed at her skates. Admiring the curvature of a flexing body in motion. She counts the bricks making up his washboard abs. Floating back on the bench, twirling her hair with one finger, and biting her bottom lip. Eyes feasting on hard chocolate with her knees separating apart.

Magnum Dong, stops to admire the pretty butterfly spreading her wings on the bench. As if curtains opening between her thighs. The black pleated miniskirt, revealing the blue thong, barely covering her aroused labia with dark pubic hair sticking out the sides.

Maria, fanning her face with the right hand.

"Muy caliente," Maria said, In a soft voice. Crossing her right leg over her left.

"Muy caliente. That means very hot right. Yeah, it is a little hot out here for this time of year. I'm sorry, I failed Spanish in high school." Magnum Dong, moves to sit on the bench to her right.

"Si married?" Maria, nodding her head, brandishing the back of her left hand. Showing off her wedding ring.

"I can see you're married. I can also see you, seeing me, seeing you. And it doesn't take an Einstein to figure out simple attraction."

"Si married?" Maria, nodding her head, brandishing the back of her hand. Showing off her wedding ring.

"'See married.' I can definitely see you are married. Or do you mean 'yes married.' Are you asking me if I'm married?"

Maria, shrugging her shoulders and rolling her eyes.

"Oh no. You don't know what the hell I'm saying."

"Si married?" Maria, nodding her head, brandishing the back of her hand. Showing off her wedding ring.

"Yeah, I'm married to my job," he said, nodding. "You wouldn't happen to speak Jive, would you?"

Maria shrugging her shoulders. And begins to flex her right bicep.

"That's a nice muscle. Looky here." Magnum Dong flexing his right bicep. "This is called a python. That's right pretty mama, don't be shy. Reach out and touch a brother."

Her right hand caressing his left arm, moving to his chest, and down his washboard abs. Fingernails brushing underneath the top his pants every time her palm circles over his stomach.

"Awe, muy buena," she said, in a soft voice. Her eyes drawn to his crotch. "Si married?"

"Little homewrecker. You like married guys. Think I broke the code. Let's try something different without having to learn an entire language. You, and I, go somewhere private... to screw?"

Magnum Dong, first pointing to Maria before pointing to himself. Connecting his thumbs together, moving four fingers over her right thigh as if walking away holding hand in hand. Last, he gently forms Maria's left hand into a fist, twisting and pushing his pointer finger inside the circular pocket above her thumb.

Taking a deep breath with jaw dropped. Maria, pointing to Magnum Dong before pointing to herself. Connecting her thumbs together, moving four fingers over her right thigh as if walking away holding hand in hand.

"Ah si, screw. Si buena," she sad. Her surprised expression replaced with bedroom eyes and a deviant grin.

Grabbing and pulling Magnum Dong's right hand up to her face. She gently sucks his pointer finger moving her lips forward stopping at the knuckle. The tip of his long finger at the back of her throat with the pressure of her gag reflexes closing up around it.

"Si, yes," he said, "to screwing your Latina brains out."

"Sí, sí, muy bien. Yes, screw." Eager to get started. Her eyes, locked on his bulging muscles.

"Come on, I know of a hideaway where we can be alone. You can show me all your skate tricks. And I'll teach you how to lift a dumbbell with your tongue." Magnum Dong and Maria, hand in hand leaving down a trail through the woods.

Chapter 7. Palm Tree

After abandoning the path for 10 minutes. They arrived at their destination. Tall trees with few leaves left on branches canopying above and large bushes walling off the area. At their feet, a gray shag rug the length and width of a full size mattress. Along with a silver platter holding two glasses, champagne chilling in a bucket of ice, and a large zebra striped plush pillow placed on top of the shag rug.

Wildlife wrestling trough the brush, with rushing water off in the distance.

Hiding behind a large palm tree, Whitey, In his tan safari outfit taking photos.

Magnum Dong, wasting no time. Pushing his tongue down the married woman's mouth. Maria, with her face tilted up leveled at his chest. Wetting their smacking lips. Flavoring each other's tongues, by rubbing against taste buds, teeth, and inside silky sidewalls.

Magnum Dong, lifts up the back of her pleated miniskirt, exposing her firm round bongos split down the middle with the light blue thong.

Whitey, leaning out from behind the tree, snapping photos for her husband. Gives the okay hand signal and a thumbs up.

Kissing his chest, pressing her stomach against the bulge in his pants. She takes off her short sleeve crop top, discarding it to the ground. Revealing 'DD' bikini tan line bell-shaped east west breast with piercing thick nipples at attention.

Magnum Dong, squeezing boobies, lowering his head to get a mouthful. Licking the erected nipples. Turning Maria around facing the palm tree. Gently nibbling on her earlobe. Giving wet kisses up and down the right side of her neck. A boob in both hands, pinching her nipples, and smiling for the camera. As Mrs. Cantaloupez, winces in pain, and lets out an "ahhh."

Magnum Dong, squatting behind her, reaches under her skirt to pull the light blue thong down her legs, before getting the underwear out from under her skates.

With panties in hand, standing up straight, and without her noticing. He throws the underwear towards Whitey. The light blue thong hitting his friend's forehead with the underwears crotch hooking over the camera lens. A woman's flowery perfume and a hint of pussy, fills Whitey's nostrils with every nose wrinkling sniff.

Back to nibbling on her right earlobe and gently sucks kisses down her neck. Resembling a vampire without the sharp teeth.

Maria, tilting her head to the left side. Reaching her right arm over her right shoulder with her hand holding the back of his head. Her left hand lifting up her skirt adding another bush to the forest. Pubic hairs, trimmed in the shape of an upside down pyramid.

Magnum Dong, from behind, massaging under her right breast with his left hand. His right hand reaching down, rubbing and gently squeezing her clitoris between his middle and pointer finger.

"Ah, ah, ah, ah..." With her eyes closed, breathing out pleasurable gasps.

Followed by the "Snap, snap, snap," of a camera taking photos feet away. Zooming in on the aroused clit.

Maria, unbuttoning her miniskirt, sending it dropping to her ankles, and stepping out from under. Leaving on the skates and knee high socks. She turns herself around licking his left nipple, and giving wet kisses down his washboard abs. Leaving a red lipstick trail behind.

Maria, unbuckling his belt, and pulling down his pants and underwear. She unknowingly, unleashes the monster out of its restraints.

"Ahhhhhhh, el diablo." Shrugging her shoulders, with her mouth wide open and eyes bulging out.

"Ha, I know that word, the devil. Yeah, It's a lot of man to be taking in when you're not expecting it. Go ahead, give it feel." Magnum Dong, grabbing her by the right arm and guiding her to touch it. "You see, no diablo."

The frightened expression leaving her face and replaced with a devilish grin. Standing in a upright position with her legs slightly apart. Bending over from her waist, she lowers her lips over his cock licking circles around the pee hole.

"That's right baby, use both hands while you familiarize yourself. I'm going to reach over your back and play with these bongos." Magnum Dong, smacking and spreading cheeks apart.

"Snap, snap, snap." Whitey, getting a zoomed in view of two salivating meaty lips and the rim of a tight anus.

The way an excited little bird eats a big worm. Maria's left hand rubbing his abs, with her right hand gripped around his cock tugging back and forth. Her tongue tickling cock, with red lips smearing kisses between the head and scrotum.

Dropping to her knees, mouth open wide staring up at him. The tip of his cock slipping inside red lips, scratching against the top and bottom front teeth. Her wiggling tongue pressing up on the shaft. Tugging cock with both her hands moving in a twisting motion over wet flesh.

"Say man, don't respond back to me. This lady doesn't speak any English." Magnum Dong, keeping his eyes looked on Mrs. Cantaloupez. "By the way she dressed, I knew she came out her to collect dicks. I don't think she a hooker, but definitely a wild one by the way she gargling my left nut. Look at her, she's got a testicle in her mouth, her left hand rubbing my stomach, and the right hand fingering herself."

"Si married," Maria, nodding her head, brandishing the back of her left hand showing off her wedding ring.

"Yes, you are married, but you won't be after your husband sees this. Honk, honk." Magnum, reaching down squeezing her right breast. "Say man, I'm going to treat this lady's clitoris to a tongue-lashing. So don't take any pictures."

Maria, being moved on her back with her head laying on the pillow, knees up and thighs spread. Magnum Dong, between her legs face down in the gutter. His rough tongue swiping between wet folds and up against her clitoris tussling pubic hair. His right pointer and middle finger moving in and out pressing up inside her vaginal walls. His left hand squeezing her breast and pinching nipples.

"Oh, oh, oh..." Maria moaning, with her pussy melting faster than Magnum Dong can lick it up. Her body stiffening with a tremble. Biting her bottom lip and head shifting from side to side. As she spectates, a messy one man's pie eating contest.

Magnum Dong, pulling out his fingers from her labia and feeds Maria a taste of her own juices. His right pointer and middle fingers, traveling back and forth slipping inside one pair of lips to another.

Maria, with eyes closed making yummy sounds and sour faces.

"Say baby, think you're ready to screw? You know screw." Magnum Dong, looking up between her thighs, fingering the vagina in a screwing motion.

"Si buena, screw." Maria, rolling over, presenting herself in the doggy style position, with her ass up and face lowered to the plush zebra striped pillow.

Magnum Dong, quickly takes off his boots, to remove the scrunched up pants and underwear around his ankles, before getting on his knees behind her. Pressing the tip of his large submersible against the entrance of an aroused labia. Pussy lips spreading open with cock slowly sinking into her depths. Vaginal walls expanding and squeezing pressure around the black outer hull. As the fearless sea captain, drives his vessel into roller slut's hairy squeeze box.

Mrs. Cantaloupez's labia, similar to a woman's size 6 sock, trying to accommodate a man's size 7 foot, with toes pressing at the tip elongating and stretching out cotton to its limits.

"Snap, snap, snap," photos capturing Maria's trembling body. As his large cock slowly pulls and pushes inside her warm embrace.

"Ah, oh, oh-ohhh..." Maria's rose colored eyelids raised and red lips opened wide, with head upside down tilted underneath her chest, and face position between boobs. Marveling at wet labia swallowing its first black cock. Droplets dripping off her pubic hair, with his large cock disappearing behind dark bush. Testicles, swinging between her thighs, resembling a pair of big fuzzy dice dangling on a car's rear view mirror.

A gentle breeze blows through. Whitey, sniffing deep breaths with his nose tilted up. Coming from downwind, in the direction of his boss remodeling the married woman's pink walls. The delightful scent of flowers mixed with a hint of sex fragrancing the air.

"Oh-si, umm, rápido!" Maria panting out her words.

"Rápido, don't know what the word means?" Magnum Dong stopping, with Maria eyebrows raised looking back over her left shoulder.

Whitey, getting Magnum Dong's attention. Thrusting his pelvis forward pretending to hump the palm tree. Mouthing the words, "It means faster."

"Si rápido," Maria rocking her round butt against Magnum Dong's lap.

Magnum Dong, smiling down at her, grabs her hips thrusting forward, colliding their bodies together. Her boobs and butt rippling from the ongoing force of impact.

Heat created from friction inside her stretched gushing walls and overstimulated clitoris, sends pleasure signals traveling to the brain on overdrive, releasing endorphins throughout the body. Turning a breeze of cool air into a billion tiny fingers caressing her glowing skin.

Whitey, jumping from tree, to bush, and back to tree. Snapping photos of the grunting pile of shimmering muscles jockeying Mrs. Cantaloupez, to the finish line.

Magnum Dong, with his eyes on the prize. Grabbing a fistful of brunette hair. Pulling the mare's head back. His balls, whipping the clitoris into a wet frenzy, with cock dragging the vaginal walls exposing pink around the outside edge of her labia. Only to be shoved back in when thrusting forward.

"Snap, snap, snap." Photos capturing Maria, with eyebrows raised, eyes crossed, and tongue sticking out her foaming mouth.

Bracing her upper body with arms extended, gripping fistfuls of grey long carpet fibers sticking out between fingers, and skates lifting off the shag rug. Her muscles tighten. Her eyelashes flutter. Her hungry pussy getting Magnum Dong again, and again, and again...

"Oh-shit, your so fucking big!" Maria said, in a high-pitched voice. "Oh-god. Oh yes. Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me!"

Magnum Dong, rubbing against all the right spots, sending Maria briefly speaking English.

"Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Ahh, ah, ah, ah..." Her legs trimble, with every quake of her ass sending down trimmers, rattling the eight wheels on her skates. The frequency of her lower body shaking uncontrollably slows down after the initial big one hit.

Magnum Dong, pulling his cock out. Sending her body collapsing forward on the carpet. Wincing and catching her breath. Her pussy dilated, exposing pink glistening walls to the outside elements.

"Although I didn't finish, I satisfied the wife, and now it's time to satisfy her husband with the photos," Magnum Dong said.

Maria, rolling over on her back, with her head resting against the pillow. Spreading her legs in the birthing position, fingering her clit, and lifting the right breast to her mouth suckling the nipple.

"Si screw," she said. Still horny for more.

Magnum Dong, positioned at ground level trusting between her thighs, with his body over Maria. Her Legs, wrapped around his waist with skates crossed at the ankles. Maria's hands scratching his back and occasionally digging in fingernails. Red lips smacking against his chest and neck.

"Just when I think it's done, the roller vixen still wants to play. Soon as I'm finished tearing it up. You can take it home to show your husband."

"Si married," Maria flashing the back of her hand showing off her wedding ring. "Oh-umm, oh, oh, oh!"

Her head shifting against the pillow, with her face bobbing in and out from underneath Magnum Dong's left shoulder, and her breast bouncing to the rhythm of his scrotum tapping anus.

Sunlight shining through the canopy of tall trees with leaves floating to the ground. As a large deer with several points on its horns steps past the shag rug. Its hooves, crunching against the ground, before stopping to turn its head down towards the bizarre breeding ritual.

"No, no, no, your doing it all wrong," said the deer, flapping his gums. "Her legs are all twisted up behind your back, stupid. Turn the bitch over and give her a proper mounting."

A crew member, blurred image or possibly Bigfoot wearing denim jeans. Gives chase, waving a tree branch in the distance. Sending the deer scampering through the tree line towards the brook.

Maria's light blue and white candy stripe socks contrast against his black skin. The light blue wheels rotating from the motion of her labia swallowing fat cock from below. His scrotum smothering her anus with clenched glutes pushing deep. Sending her wincing, every time the tip knocked on cervix.

"Oh, oh..." Maria's moans grow softer. Her eyelids shutting for several seconds at a time. Only to open wide and go cross-eyed, at her soaked bushy labia being remodeled. As flexing ripped abs and hard pumping wet flesh continues to stretch her interior walls.

Her hands fold behind her head. Spectating the black construction worker drilling a train tunnel. Spreading her legs apart, with skates resting on the carpet, and titties bouncing. She yawns, lowering her rose colored eyelids shut.

Magnum Dong, grunting, and grinding away. Unaware he's doing so on sleeping beauty.

"Oh-yeah. Tee-hee, we're almost there. Here we go. Here we go. Here... we... go!" Releasing warm loads, with his cock spasming, splashing a coat of white over pink. Launching his fastest swimmers through her cervix with millions pouring inside the uterus in search for an egg to penetrate.

"And that Maria, is how babies are made. Would you look at that, she fell asleep on me. Hey man, bring the camera over here and get some close up shots." Magnum Dong getting to his feet.

"Snap, snap, snap." Whitey, standing at the end of the rug pointing the camera down between her thighs. While Magnum Dong, got dressed.

The sun setting, with bright yellow and orange lighting up the horizon. Red and pink reflecting on the bottom of fluffy clouds. Light blue skies in the west, contrasting against darker skies in the east.

"Would you look at that," Magnum said. "A perfect sunset behind the tree line, the birds are singing, and a beautiful butterfly spreading her wings snoozing at our feet."

"Mrs. Cantaloupez, had a big lunch," Whitey said. "You can tell from the amount of mayonnaise dripping out her cooter."

Bushy dark pubic hair above, and surrounding her gaping labia, revealing glistening pink walls. As thick cream pooled inside, with the overflow dripping pearls across her anus to the shag rug below.

"Make sure you get more close up between her thighs. I want to give her husband the money shot he paid for."

"Say boss, your not afraid of getting her pregnant?"

"The husband told me she's fixed. With Maria, spending more time away from home. He figured, some urban cowboy has been taking Mrs. Cantaloupez to ride the bull. I'm assuming, the old man's weenie doesn't plump up between her warm buns anymore."

"So grandpa married a young trophy wife. She looks to be in her late 20s early 30s. How much older is the husband?"

"The client, is in his early 50s. And she, is 40 years young."

"You're kidding me." Whitey, changing out the camera film.

"You know how rich people are. Always trying to cheat old age. I'm sure she has expensive creams, makeup, and over the counter potions placed in easy to swallow capsules." Magnum Dong's arms folded, shaking his head. "It's a tale as old as time. Woman turns 40, she gets horny, and her husband can't keep up. Before treating her squeeze box, as if it's a ticking time bomb about to go off when it hits menopause."

"So the female version of a midlife crisis." Whitey grinning, raising an eyebrow. "They want to use it before they lose it. Is that it?"

"That's right. Instead of a 35 year old balding used car salesman, flashing money, cruising college hangouts in his sport car. Right around the age of 40, women want to be reminded they're still desirable. Dinner, dancing, and a good long fuck on the beach. Preferably with a college aged hard body for their ever ready cocks."

"Ha-ha, I'm sorry boss. Not laughing at you." Whitey, twisting a wider lens on the camera. "When mentioning sex on the beach. Got me thinking of a dirty Churro."

"A dirty Churro?"

"It's surfer slang, for when you pull out and rub your wet cock in the sand before sticking it back inside a girl's cooter. They call it the dirty Churro, because the boner resembles the sugary dessert."

"I remember it being called the dirty flamingo." Magnum Dong, grinning, crouching down. "By the way, I'm noticing her anus is untouched."

"Really, how can you tell from only looking at it?" Whitey, bending forward for a closer inspection.

"The same way a dog knows when a bitch is in heat. Let's just say it's instinct. I would do the grand opening myself, but I'm afraid I'd end up leaving a pink caution cone where her rim used to be."

Both men standing up straight.

"Something's been bothering me." Whitey, shaking his head. "If you didn't crack the code, technically we would've never caught her cheating. And I, wouldn't be snapping pictures of Maria's glowing naked body wearing only socks and roller skates. And Her now cuckold husband, wouldn't have to view photos of his wife's cooter getting turned into a custard filled donut."

"I'm hired by the client, to show infidelity in their marriage. They were already imagining their wives getting cum dumpster by another man before inquiring my help. All I did, is make their paranoid thoughts a reality. If you send a private investigator to spy on your wife, it's only because you want a divorce or beat off to the evidence. Either way, once the client sees his wife licking miniature Bozo the clown's ass, with another little person's fist jammed up her cunt. He knows the marriage is over."

"So you help divorced dads of tomorrow move on with their lives." Nodding his head. "The sun's going down boss. What do we do about sleeping beauty?"

"Well, we can't leave her here." Magnum Dong, submerging his right hand into the champagne's ice bucket, and splashing cold water over Maria's body. "Wakey, wakey. It's been fun, but you can't stay the night."

"Ahhhhh!" Eyes wide and her lower jaw drop. Maria, sitting up shaking, closing her legs, with hands covering her breast.

"Snap, snap, snap." Whitey, capturing the moment.

"Mrs. Cantaloupez, I'm a private investigator hired by your husband and this is my friend Whitey. We've been following you for weeks." Magnum Dong, throwing up his hands. "Why the hell am I trying to explain this. She doesn't speak a word of English."

Maria looking over Whitey, snapping photos with the camera. A grin forms on her face. Removing her hands from her breast and spreading her legs.

"Ah, si married?" Maria, nodding her head, brandishing the back of her left hand to Whitey, showing off her wedding ring. "Si buena, screw."

"Ha-ha, yeah baby. He's married." Resting his forearm on Whitey's shoulder. "Looks to me, she's ready to go for round two. If you want to play with her, say 'si married.'"

"Si married," Whitey said, grinning. "She's unbuckling my belt and pulling down my shorts, boss."

"I can see that. Here, let me take the camera off your hands before you drop it."

Maria, sitting on her back legs with skates underneath butt cheeks. Spitting on the left hand, she rubs 4 inches of dangling black snake poking out over Whitey's underwear. Her tongue licking circles on the head. Sliding her red lips forward around flaccid cock, with dark wet flesh glistening when pulling back. Teeth lightly clenching the head of his chewy dark meat stretching it to full length. Sliding forward with jaw wide, his soft tip clogging at the throat's entrance, collecting blubber between the tongue and roof of the mouth.

The way a circus clown, inflates colorful thin tubes of expanding latex to make balloon animals. Each time her head pumped back and forth, red lips revealed dark wet flesh expanding to its full potential. Blowing the blubbery texture stiff as a bone with the tip poking through the throats entrance.

Removing his cock from a thirsty Maria, slapping the head against her tongue jutting out of open red lips. Revealing 8 inches of fat throbbing hard on.

She inhales a deep breath and goes back for more. Her right fingernails scratching circles on his shirtless six pack abs between the opened utility vest. The left hand gripped around his shaft in continuous motion with red lips.

"Mmm. Mmmmm. Mmmmmmmm..." Smacking lips, slurping saliva, and vibrating her jaw.

"Oh shit. She's taking it down her throat." His face tilted up, eyes closed tight, and mouth opened. "Don't stop Maria. You can make it."

"Would you look at that," Magnum Dong said, "you lucky bastard."

Lips wrapped around the base, with a large lump in her throat. Coughing out bubbles on his pubes. She jerks her head back popping out his mucus covered cock. Smiling and gasping for air, with her chin dripping in spit.

"Not wanting to be a third wheel. I'll leave you both to it." Camera slinged over his shoulder. He dumps out the bucket of ice, placing it inside a duffel bag, with the silver platter and champagne bottle. "Got everything you need inside those utility vest pockets?"

"Yeah boss. Got my flashlight, walkie-talkie, everything." Both hands entangled in hair at the back of her head. "Oh yes. Mmm, don't stop sucking."

Maria, humming away with head bobbing back and forth.

"Good, if you get into any trouble, use the walkie-talkie to call me. I'm heading back to the van. Don't forget to bring the rug and pillow when you're finished."

"Yes boss."

Duffle bag in hand. The ground crunching beneath his steps, with the sun setting at his back.

"You married sluts, really know how to suck a dick." His right arm reaching down squeezing a handful of titty, leaving the left hand combing fingers through her hair.

"Si married." Talking with her mouth full. Showing off the back of her left hand.

Magnum Dong, smiling, hearing them in the distance. Turns around towards the sunset between the tree line, with the above canopy of leaves on branches shading Maria and Whitey in the foreground. Far enough away, they both resemble silhouettes in motion. Whitey leaning back against the palm tree, with Maria on her knees giving lip smacking sloppy oral.

"Snap, snap, snap." Magnum Dong, capturing the picturesque moment before placing the camera sling back over his shoulder. He picks up the duffel bag and retraces his steps towards the paved trail crunching foliage underneath his boots.

"So Maria, I just happen to be carring all natural anal lube made in Mexico." Pulling out a small bottle from one of the utility vest pockets. "Thought we could try it out?"

Spitting cock out of mouth. Sitting at attention. She shrugs her shoulders, squinting with head tilted up, and her right fist jerking hard wet flesh.

"Better yet, I'll show you. Let's get you off your knees." Whitey, reaching down, helping Maria on to her skates, and physically molding her into position. "That's it, turn around with your back facing me, and bend from the waist as far down you can."

Maria's legs extended and slightly parted, bending over in a touch your toes stretch, with hands gripping the light blue stoppers at the front of her skates. Her bottom on top, with cheeks split apart, revealing cleaned up gaping labia and a tight brown rim.

"Where the hell is it. Know it's in one these pockets." Whitey's fingers, fumbling through his utility vest the way a magician pulls items out of his top hat. Before holding up, a white latex glove pinched between his right thumb and pointer finger. "Awe, found it. It was in the pocket where I keep my lucky rabbit foot."

Whitey, placing the latex glove on his right hand, and begins squeezing drops of anal lube over the brown eye. His right pointer finger rubbing the rim in a clockwise motion.

"Aye, mi culo (my ass)." Maria's eyebrows moving closer together and biting her bottom lip.

"You may feel a tingling sensation, it's the lubricant working to relax muscles in your sphincter." His pointer finger glazed in anal lube poking the brown eye. "My gay cousin Ronaldo, recommended this product to me. He said, 'They use a mild form of poppers (anal nitrates). With the only difference being, it absorbs through your skin instead of having to take it orally.'"

The pointer finger, sliding its way down the tight hole in a twisting motion, rubbing a thick coat of lubrication against the inside anal walls.

"Ahhhhhh. Mmm, mmm..." Maria, licking her lips, gripping the light blue stoppers with her knuckles turning white. Her legs trembling from holding in position.

"Maria, I got to say, you're a really good listener." Two knuckles deep inside Maria's pooper, with the middle and pointer finger twisting left to right. "I know, you don't understand a word of English. But if I'm getting on your nerves, say, 'Whitey, shut up.' I could be a bit of a chatterbox sometimes."

"Squish, squish, squish," from three well lubricated latex glove fingers sliding in and out of the brown rim with ease.

"Ahh, ah, ah..." Maria, bending over, with left hand lifting a breast to her lips suckling on a nipple, and right hand between her thighs tugging on his lubricated hard flesh in a downward motion.

"It's still a bit snug, but the rim has loosen up from when we started 20 minutes ago. Most men think they can lube up their cock and jam it in. Anal is art form, got to take your time if you want to do it the right way."

Dark skies eating away at the sunlight. Yellow and orange, being swallowed behind the tree line. Along with fluffy clouds, getting dragged down by the sun's gravity.

"Whoo! Whoo!" said the owl, high up on a tree branch.

Clapping, grunting, and moaning coming from down below. As several large deer, scamper through the forest crunching foliage underneath their hooves.

"These big cheeks are something else," Whitey said, with a big grin.

"Oh, oh, oh," Maria's muffled voice coming through the zebra striped pillow.

Laying flat on her stomach over the shag rug, legs slightly spread, with the light blue skates stoppers digging into the gray carpet. The bottle of anal lube laying next to her right side.

Whitey, completely nude. Face down over her, similar to a push-up position. Smashing down between her cheeks. His wet black flesh, plugging the entrance to her brown rim. His well oiled cock, moves back and forth squeezing through the tight hole. As he digs deep into uncharted territory.

Her long eyelashes and wrinkled forehead visible over the pillow. Both her hands gripping fist of carpet with long gray fibers sticking out between fingers underneath knuckles.

Whitey, clinching his glutes. He pulls out of her ass, squirting anal lube directly into her throbbing coin size hole. Before throwing the bottle, sending it knocking against the palm tree and landing on leaves. Sliding back into her with excess lubricant squirting out the rim. As if Whitey, had belly flopped dick first into a tiny pool. His dripping lubricated balls smacking puffy vaginal lips. While pulling on the back of her head with a fistful of brunette hair sticking out between his fingers.

"Ah-ahhh, ah, ah, ah-ah-ah!" Eyes wide, jaw dropped, and a large black cock slamming into her shitter.

"Alright, alright, alright. Fuck it. Fuck it. Here it comes." Pulling out, and tugging cock in hand. Shooting two thick ropes splashing down from her right butt cheek, up her back, and sprinkling her brunette hair. "Yes, yes, yes, what an amazing piece of ass."

Whitey, catching his breath, laying on his back to her left, with hands folded behind his head. Between the canopy of branches, twinkling white dots and several long streaks of light zipping through the night sky.

Maria, remaining on her stomach, breathing deep with watery eyes smearing mascara. She swipes her right index finger against the glazed ass cheek and brings it close for further inspection. As if, she scooped up a spoonful of white melted cheesy fondue. From a sour expression, to a deviant grin, begins licking the finger clean. Smacking her lips, stretching creamy strands in between her tongue and roof of the mouth, before closing her cum drizzled red lips, and "Gulp."

In the background, a boom mic leans up against the palm tree. As a smiling fat guy, attempts to hide himself behind the tree, wearing blue jeans and a black t-shirt reading "Crew Member." While eating a jelly donut in one hand and holding a lit cigarette in the other.

Chapter 8. No Buena

Peeking above the tree line. The top half of a large cinematic blood moon. As cool air blows leaves scratching across the grounds and bends creaking tree branches.

With no other vehicles in the parking lot except for his own. Magnum Dong, leaning against the hood of his van. Peering through binoculars in his left hand and holding a walkie-talkie in his right. As he spots the two of them, coming down the leaf covered trail leading in and out of the forest.

Whitey, carrying the rolled up shag rug over his right shoulder. His left, hooked arm and arm with her right. As Mrs. Cantaloupez, is being towed wearing only panties, socks, and roller skates.

"Say man, where the hell is her crop top and mini skirt? Over," Magnum Dong said.

"Hey boss, is that you? I had the volume turned down." Whitey tilting his head down to speak into the walkie-talkie in his left hand. "You're never going to believe it, but I got into a shoving match with a little brown bear. No bullshit, this lady let me go balls deep in her ass. Over."

"Stop being nasty. And tell me, why her titties are out? Over."

"The forest ground got pitch black and my flashlight crapped out on me. By the time I stood up, couldn't see my feet crunching through the foliage. Knowing there's critters and snakes crawling through the dead leaves. The idea of reaching down not knowing if I'm about to touch a mini skirt, coyote poop, or a rat. Gave me the heebie-jeebies. Over."

"You pussy. Told you to get ahold of me, if you needed help. We can't let her go home naked. Over."

"All I wanted to do was get the hell out of there. Maria, could barely stand on her own. I had to drag her out of the woods while carrying this stupid rug. By the way, I'm only kidding about poking a brown bear. Over."

"Fuck it. Bring her to the van, and you stay with her inside the vehicle. And I'll go with my flashlight strolling through the woods for her clothes. Over and out."

"10/4 boss. Over and out."

Maria and Whitey, closing in on the parking lot with only a few steps remaining. As a strong gust of wind blows through the trees knocking off a wasp nest. The hive, hitting Whitey's head on the way down. Sending bees buzzing into a frenzy with stingers taking aim at the couple.

"Wasp, and I don't mean the English." Whitey, dropping the shag rug. Twisting his upper body to the right with both hands trying to slap the small insects whizzing by his person.

"No buena! No buena!" Maria's eyelids raised, losing her grip, waving her arms wildly.

Struggling to keep herself balanced. She rolls on to the parking lot pavement where it slopes downhill. Gravity turning the 8 wheels into rocket powered roller skates. Sending her exiting out the park, and skidding to a stop in the middle of an active roadway.

"Aahhhhhhh!" Blinded by oncoming headlights, with her palms opened, and arms stretched forward bracing for impact.

"Hooooooooonk!" The garbage truck unable to stop, with Maria getting swallowed underneath the screeching tires.

"Th-thump, th-thump," her tumbling body spitting out from under the heavy vehicles back wheels.

Magnum Dong and Whitey, standing next to each other. Their jaws dropped and eyes darting downhill. As a handful of vehicles stop with a crowd gathering around her mingled corpse.

"The bees came out of nowhere." Whitey's lower lip trembling. "I lost hold--"

"I saw what happened. It's not your fault." Magnum Dong, with a comforting arm around Whitey's shoulders.

"Everything happened so fast. Twenty minutes ago, I was pulling out of her butthole to bust a nut. You can still see her wet back fro--"

"swoosh smack." Magnum Dong, swinged his right arm with an open palm clapping Whitey's left cheek.

"What the fuck you slap me for?" Whitey with a hand over the left side of his face, widening his eyes and slightly crouching.

"I've already warned you. First she's a cleaning lady and now a this."

"I came on her back. You can still see the cum shining off her skin underneath the street lamp."

"Swoosh smack." Magnum Dong, swinged his left palm catching Whitey right cheek.

"Ow, will you please stop hitting me." Whitey with a hand over both cheeks backing up.

"Out of all the places you could have busted a nut. From her titties, ass cheeks, and face. You decided to shoot cum on a Hispanic woman's back. It's a clear microaggression, for migrants of Mexican descent. What the hell do you think male ejaculate is?"

"It's a lubricated substance created by the male reproductive organ. Please don't hit me again."

"No stupid. It's wet. Male ejaculate is wet. Either deliberately or subconsciously you wet all over her back. To think, after this beautiful butterfly spreads her wings and allowed us to rejoice in her warmth. You go disrespecting her this way." Magnum Dong, throwing up his hands. "I don't even know who the fuck you are anymore Whitey."

"What the fuck is a microaggression?"

"Shooting spunk on a Hispanic woman's back is a microaggression."

"Hey boss, forget I asked." Throwing up his hands. "I'm starting to think you nicknamed me Whitey, so you can get out unresolved aggression."

"I nicknamed you Whitey, when a lady shot out butt naked from her second floor window after you. She would have broke her damn neck, if she didn't splash down in the swimming pool."

"I forget to turn off the flash one time and I have been apologizing for it ever since." Shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head. "Look boss, I'm thinking we should go down there and wait for the cops to tell them what happened."

"You think because your 20 years old and stuffed a grown woman's ass. Qualifies you to do the thinking. It's October 1980, and the only thing scarier in this upper class side of town, is the two spooks lurking in the park. The moment we arrived, I am certain the good white people of this neighborhood alerted the proper authorities to our whereabouts."

"Boss, we did nothing wrong. Her death is a tragic accident." Whitey, pointing downhill.

"You really think it's that easy. Okay, you be you. And I'll be a mind twisting police detective after getting your version of events."

Magnum Dong, doing his best white guy impression. Complete with Minnesota nice attitude. Holding an imaginary clipboard.

"Wow, blah blah blah blah blah. Rolling down into the middle of the street. 'Kaboom,' and now she's road kill." His head tilted down, with eyes shifting side to side. "So is Whitey, your first or last name."

"It's not my real--"

"forget I asked. It's not important what you want to call yourself." Clicking and twirling an imaginary pen between his right fingers. "Reading your statement, long as everything is truthful?"

"Oh, yes sir, it is. My mama taught me never to lie. Everything I said is the God honest truth. No doubt about that." Holding the safari hat against his chest.

"I believe you're a truthful man, Whitey. And trust me, your honesty is going to help the process go a lot smoother."

"Thank you sir. Anything to help. I like cops. Can I go now?"

"Well I like Whitey. And hey, I get it. We're stuck in this small windowless claustrophobic room. I want to get the heck out of here too." With a big friendly smile. "Can I get you anything. Some food maybe, would you like a cigarette or freshen up your coffee?"

"No sir, I don't smoke. And please, no more coffee for me. I'm turning into a jitterbug. I can't seem to stop shaking."

"I hear you. Let's get this over with and get the heck out of here my friend. There's only one thing we have to do before we can leave this God forsaken place. I have to read your statement out loud and have you sign it."

"Sounds good to me. Lets get this over with and get the heck out of here. As you put it."

"So you were following Mrs. Cantaloupez for weeks and taking photos."

"Well it's my job, working for a private investigator."

"When your boss, lured the woman who didn't speak English to a secluded spot. Where you both took turns fornicating in her warmth. As she screamed her brains out."

"She was able to communicate. She just didn't speak any English."

"Okay look, it will go a lot faster, if you let me finish reading your statement. And we both can get the heck out of here. I don't want to stay here another minute. What do you say partner?" With a big smile on his face.

"Yes sir, agreed. My lips are sealed."

"Whitey, you really are one of the good ones. And let's get the heck out of here. Now where were we." Eyes shifting, with head tilted down at the imaginary clipboard. "Here we are. Followed by dragging the naked woman through the woods and attempting to force her into your van. When Mrs. Cantaloupez escaped from your clutches. Rapidly creating distance from you. Screaming in Spanish 'No good, no good.' Before attempting, to stop traffic for help."

"Hey man, that's not what I said. The words are all screwy." Pointing to the imaginary clipboard with his right index finger.

"I was right here when you said it. And you know, your mama didn't raise no liar."

"No, I want a lawyer. And we need to change my statement."

"Whitey, I wouldn't jive my main man. It's your white soul brother, like no other from another mother. Listen, I'm just a head shrinker. I mean an officer of the law. It's not for me to judge. That's up to the 12 courtroom jurors. Now, what do you say to signing your confession and we can get the heck out of here. Don't feel ashamed, if you're unable to write your own signature. You can always leave your mark if you want."

"I won't sing it. You manipulated me with friendship, coffee, and cupcakes."

"Are you crazy? Never offered you any cupcakes. Insanity plea, that could be your defense. Think about it. You lost control over your better judgment after seeing a busty hottie on roller skates with a delicious round rump. Before pouncing on her, the way a wild animal feast on their prey. So I don't forget, I'm going to write this down on your statement, 'Pounced on her like a wild animal.'"

"What are you doing to me. Don't write that." Eyes wide, with his open right palm against his forehead.

"It's not what I'm doing to you. It's what you did to her. I'm trying to look out for your best interest my main man. The jury will see you're an unhinged lunatic and maybe spare you the death penalty. Now what do you say, to sign it, so we can get the h e double hockey sticks out of here." Scrunching up his face and glaring at Whitey.

"Forget it boss, you made your point." Whitey eyes jumping around the park. Scratching his head with his right hand underneath the safari hat. "Hey boss, you almost got me thinking we raped her."

"Anytime you're in a U. S. interrogation room. You tell the interrogator, 'Cannot ask me any questions without my attorney present.' Those guys are professional mind fuckers. They'll twist your head in circles until it pops off. You would be amazed, on how many people admitted to crimes they never did."

"Kind of like how voices, keep schizophrenics repeating on a loop using one to two worded triggers." A smirk on Whitey's face with a sparkle in his eyes.

"What?" Magnum Dong, moving a hand over his mouth with eyes widening.

"Like you said boss, 'They'll twist your head in circles until it pops off.' Leaving the schizophrenic screaming on a street corner at anyone passing by. You know, how triggers are designed to keep the individual responding. Similar to a police interrogation."

"No, I don't know," he said, quietly. With arms crossed and shaking his head.

"What's not to get. The voices gather negative information on the schizophrenic and turn it into a one to two worded trigger. So when the person hears the positive or negative trigger, they will respond in--"

"stop. I need you to stop," Magnum Dong said, raising his voice. "I don't know what this is. I'm not the guy. I'm not a psychiatrist. Now's not the time, to be dumping out your baggage."

"Dumping out my baggage, what?" Scrunching up his face shrugging his shoulders. "We were discussing interrogations, when I expressed a similar opinion on the subject. It's not, difficult to get."

"It's every god damn time when you are on the clock. I already know what you're going to say. The sock puppet nations of the five eyes. Dick Smalls, the man who killed Uncle Sam inside the yellow brick Flying Monkey Hotel. There's a straw man, a tin man, and even a sex crazed 28 year old Dorothy. Only thing missing is the cowardly lion."

"Because I never get a chance to tell about the lion. He plays a pivotal role in the B plot. Sure it's a brother, in a lion's costume who's known for crushing puss. But without him, the main story wouldn't exist and there would be no pizza boy diary."

"Listen to yourself Dwayne," Magnum Dong said, rolling his eyes. "It's a bastardized version of 'The Wizard of Oz.' Bunch of lunatics, in an insane asylum globbed on to a bullshit story. Hoping to find missing pieces to put the puzzle together. This idea of parasites, pulling strings behind the curtain to operate flesh puppets. Schizophrenics are witches, being snuffed out because they end up knowing too much. Nobody wants to believe they're crazy. It's fucking loser talk!"

"What the fuck you going on about loser talk. I have opinions like anyone else. Might as well say, I'm a liar with the delusions of grandeur. Fuck you man, loser talk."

"Yeah, loser talk. Every time someone's team loses a championship out comes the loser talk. 'The sun was in our eyes.' 'The referee got paid off.' 'Their cheerleaders had bigger tits.' It's fucking loser talk."

Whitey, looking around through squinted eyes, before tilting his head down with shoulders slumped. A small colony ants crawling by his boots.

"Dwayne, can we please stick to the matters at hand?" His voice cracking and right hand pointing downhill. "We got a dead woman smeared all over the pavement."

"Okay boss." Looking side-eyed in Magnum Dong's direction and nodding. "So, you think Maria's husband, is still going to pay what he owes?"

"You know our advertisement motto, 'We don't charge until you get the money shot.' Moment we show the husband photos of her dripping cream filled hole. An hour later, we'll be processing through the county jail. That's if we're not spending hours being interrogated first."

"We got to get out of here boss. Where do we go... and how are we going to live?" Whitey, hugging himself trembling.

"Only place 2 hardcore brothers can go. The home of liberty, freedom, and justice for all. Where the measure of a man's bravery, is determined by the creature comforts he's willing to carry up a mountain for rich assholes on vacation." Magnum Dong, wearing sunglasses, his tongue twirling a toothpick in his mouth, and arms folded.

Turning to a three page fold-out. The story ends, with the Himalayan mountains in the distance background.

Magnum Dong, in the foreground, with a stoic expression on his face. Wearing black military boots, green camouflage pants, a black leather vest, and sunglasses. His muscular arms folded, with his chest and stomach muscles exposed to the frigid temperature. As he stands tall in the middle of a blizzard.

Next to Magnum Dong's right. Whitey, wearing a big round brim hat, utility vest with no shirt underneath, cargo shorts, and black boots. As he hugs himself hunched over, with teeth chattering, and shivering cold.

Both men with frost forming on their afros, sideburns, and eyebrows. A small wooden sign next to them reads "Sherpas, to Mount Everest for hire."

"K-K-K-K-K-K-Katmandu.

I think it's really where I'm going to.

If I ever get out of here.

I'm going to Katmandu..." Song by Bob Seger, playing in the background. This being the part, in the theatrical film release where the end credits are rolling

END OF PART THREE.