The Divorce Lawyer Ch. 02

The Divorce Lawyer, Pt. 02

Almost two years ago I wrote a story called The Divorce Lawyer. I never anticipated writing a sequel, but from time to time I thought about how I liked the character. Eventually, half of this story came into my mind and then it was only recently that the second half occurred to me. This is the result.

You know the old expression "Living well is the best revenge!" We often forget that lesson when we've been wronged and we want our pound of flesh. This is a story about two men who knew the expression well and followed the advice.

Those of you looking for a BTB story will be disappointed. This is just a story about two men who handle adversity well, leave the past behind, and go off in search of a new life.

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This was one cool customer. I've seen a lot of emotions in this job and everything from excruciating pain to all-consuming rage, but never have I had a divorce client who could just sit there cool as can be and sign the papers without any visible sign of any emotion. He was the respondent, and it was his wife who had filed for divorce.

I made a mistake in our first meeting. He'd been served three days earlier, and he presented me with the divorce petition to review. I sat behind my desk reading the petition and all the while glancing in his direction, and in that time, he seemed just as calm as if he were getting his hair cut. Then I saw it and it was his eyes that betrayed him. Below the surface, out of view, his mind was a roiling inferno. His anger and pain were burning him up, but he was determined not to show it. That takes some serious discipline, but I know from experience that eventually the vessel would explode.

It was a simple petition. She didn't want as much as the courts were likely to award her, and that's usually a sign of something hidden. I asked him the usual questions of inheritance and trust funds, but there were none. They were a working middle-class couple turned empty nesters with kids off at college. I've seen it a hundred times. When the kids leave whatever glue that held them together had failed them.

Still, I had to ask the usual questions.

"Is this something you want, or do you want to fight it?"

He just shook his head and said, "No fight. Let her go."

"You know, sometimes when the kids leave..." I didn't get to finish the statement.

"She knows what she wants, or at least what she wants today, and she convinced me the marriage isn't worth fighting for."

Wow. That must have hurt. "Do you think she's hiding anything?"

That drew a snicker from my new client.

"Do you think she has funds someplace, maybe an inheritance she didn't tell you about, bonuses or commissions?"

He was serious again. "No. I don't think so. Frankly, I don't care. She's giving me sixty percent of our shared wealth, if you can call it wealth, and she's always spent the lion's share of her income on herself and what she wanted while I paid the boring bills, so I'm coming out ahead. Give me two or three years and I'll have a bankroll and all the financial security I could want."

Comments like that made me wonder why he didn't divorce her years ago.

"According to the petition, you will both pay equally into the college funds for your son and daughter."

"Yeah, that's new. I was funding about eighty percent of it until now." He looked at me with an odd mixture of amusement and venom. "I don't think she ever knew what it was costing. She just knew the tuition was getting paid the same way the mortgage was paid, and the credit cards we used for food and gas and such, and the car insurance, and everything else."

"I assume she has her own cards?"

That implied question almost brought a chuckle. "Oh, yeah!"

"You ever see them?"

He shook his head slowly. "Nope!"

"Do you file your tax forms together or separately?"

"Separately."

To say the least, alarm bells were going off in my head.

"Do you know how much she makes?"

"A little less than I make, so about $80,000."

"At the least, we'll need to file a motion of discovery for her tax forms and her retirement fund."

"No. I don't care. At the rate she spends it, I doubt there's any money she's hiding, and I'm happy with sixty percent."

Those alarm bells were going off even louder now.

"Look at me."

He raised his head and looked me in the eyes.

"Are you hiding anything? I'll tell you now that if you are and they find it, the court will tear you a new one."

That got an honest laugh from him. "No. I'm not hiding anything."

This had to be one of the oddest clients I've ever had.

"Okay, if you are satisfied, then I'd say this is a good offer and you should sign it before she changes her mind."

For just a moment I saw a wave of sadness pass across his face. There was no doubt in my mind now, he was suffering and just not showing it.

In a quiet, steady voice he said, "Just one question - once signed, will this be final? I want no comebacks."

I told him it would be.

"Okay. Let's do it. Where do I sign?"

"It's not quite that simple. She needs to sign, too. I suggest we call her lawyer, schedule a meeting, and we get all the signatures at one time. She and you both need to sign separate copies." The truth was I feared she would change her mind. This deal was a little too good to last. I thought that putting them both in the same room would make or break the deal and hopefully spur her on to sign before her lawyer convinced her otherwise.

"Okay. You make it happen, and I'll be there."

I picked up the office phone and called the other side directly. I knew her lawyer. He was a standup guy. There would be no monkey business that he knew about. The call lasted less than a minute. I spoke with my client for a few minutes about what to expect and then the other side called me back.

"We're in luck. They can be here at three this afternoon. Do you think you can keep yourself busy until then?"

He just smiled a half smile and nodded.

Three o'clock came and I had my client in my office for a final briefing while his wife and her lawyer were shown into the conference room.

"You still want this?"

He just nodded. This guy was wound tighter than just about any client I've ever had, and I was starting to worry about what might happen in that conference room. He wasn't carrying a briefcase, and I didn't see any evidence of a weapon.

My secretary stuck her head through the door. "They're here."

I just nodded and the two of us started toward the conference room. I had already given her orders to be ready to dial 911 if she didn't like what she heard. There was something going on here that I didn't know, and any lawyer will tell you that it's what they don't know that worries them the most.

The meeting was proceeding smoothly enough. The other side outlined the agreement, and we agreed. Her lawyer passed her the first of two copies, and she hesitated for a moment.

"Jimmy, you know I never wanted this."

There was that flash of anger again. "If you never wanted it, then why did you file?"

She bowed her head for just a moment and said, "You know as well as me that things haven't been good for a while."

"Let's get on with it, Lorraine."

That seemed to annoy her. I swear I couldn't figure these two out. She signed and passed the papers back to her lawyer who passed them to me. I looked them over quickly and they were the same terms that we'd seen just two hours before. I passed them to my client. He gave me a questioning glance, I nodded, and he signed. Both lawyers witnessed the signatures, and my legal secretary notarized the documents. It was done. It was the fastest and the simplest divorce I'd ever handled.

As we were preparing to leave the wife had to get in one more dig.

"Jimmy, you know I'll always love you!"

Jimmy looked at her like she was no different from something he'd scraped off his boot. "How long, Lorraine?"

She seemed momentarily confused. "Forever, Jimmy. I just told you!"

"No, I mean how long were you fucking that pustule behind my back?" Now the anger was coming out in equal measure with disgust.

"What?"

"Don't play games, Lorraine. I had you followed. I've known for three months. How long, Lorraine?"

Lorraine had that deer in the headlights look and wasn't answering.

"No matter. It's over. He can have you now" and with that he turned and walked back to my office. I was left momentarily flatfooted and had to hustle to catch up.

Back in my office, and once we were both settled into our respective chairs, I asked, "Why didn't you say something?"

He just looked at me with that now familiar blank stare. "What good would it do? She was cheating. If she ended it on her own and confessed, maybe we could save the marriage. If I confronted her, then I'd never know if she gave him up or just got better at cheating. Either way, why would I keep a cheater? As for the divorce, she wasn't fighting me for the house, and we don't have a lot of money. Since she can't take what we don't have and her cheating wouldn't affect the distribution very much, why dwell on it?"

Now I understood him. He never cared about the money. He'd spent his adult life taking care of her only to be betrayed. All he wanted now was to be rid of her. It's funny how fast my thoughts had changed. Twenty minutes ago I walked out of my office worried about what he might do, and now I was sitting here admiring him. He saw the big picture and he knew that he could build a better future without her. Still, there was one loose end that I could tie up for him if he wanted.

"What do you know about the pustule?" I took way too much pleasure in saying that and he laughed.

"You want the good news or the bad news?"

We were both smiling now, but for the life of me I didn't know why.

"Both. I'm a big boy. I can handle it."

"Well, he has money, a big house, and a flashy car. He also has a history of seducing married women and leaving them not long after the divorce is final."

It was like the curtain was lifted. He gave her what she wanted, knowing full well it would destroy her later. Talk about a dish served cold! He was one insidious bastard, and I liked him.

"Remind me never to cross you." That got me a sad smile.

"The truth is this is all new to me. I've always played it straight, but watching her cheat and then lie to my face every night was too much. Conniving bitch! I knew the divorce was coming and decided to just make it easy. You protected me and I appreciate that. I suppose after twenty-three years of marriage I could have warned her about him, but I wasn't in a helpful mood."

All I could do was slowly shake my head. "I've seen wives like this before. She would never have listened to you. Then when it blows up on her, she'll either beg you to take her back or just blame you for everything."

He was nodding sadly. "That's why I asked you about it being final."

He put on a brave face, but I could tell this divorce was cutting him to the bone.

"I think we burned that bridge rather thoroughly today, don't you?" He was speaking as much to himself as to me.

Now it was my turn to nod.

This man had integrity, and it was as much his integrity as his wife's betrayal that was now causing him a world of pain. He had built his adult life protecting her, and now he was letting her destroy herself without so much as lifting a finger to save her. As much as she brought it on herself, I could tell he felt remorse and pitied the woman he once loved.

My secretary stuck her head in the room and told us the other side had left, and shortly after that my client left with just this last bit of advice from me. "Jim, don't be alone tonight. See a friend or a relative. Tell them what happened. You have a lot to process, and it takes time. Lean on your friends." All I got was that familiar nod and then he was gone.

That was Tuesday. Most days this job grinds away the part of me that looks to find goodness in other human beings, but that evening I sat with my wife after dinner and told her all about what had transpired in my office. You see, my wife is also my very personal secretary. She's been my secretary for a number of years, and it was only after another divorce case when I was feeling particularly optimistic that I asked her out for dinner. It was an impulsive move that was done before I had time to think about it. To my surprise, she said yes. That night began with great trepidation, and I was worried that one wrong move would leave me regretting my action and then every day at work would become a challenge. Let's just say I have never regretted it since and every day I say a quiet prayer of thanks for my impulsive action and her loving heart. We don't advertise our marriage to clients, and there have been times when that decision has paid off well, but the days of sleeping with my secretary are coming to a close. You see, she recently informed me that she is pregnant, and she is talking about becoming a full-time mom.

I spent Wednesday morning doing paperwork and preparing petitions before heading off to court. I had a client with two pending cases. First, his wife had filed a divorce petition against him, and he counter filed. Hers was for irreconcilable differences, but he filed under infidelity and that is the first of two reasons why we were headed for court. She wanted the moon in monthly installments while he was happy with a 60/40 split in his favor, and I liked our chances. Along with those filings, he was suing the boyfriend for alienation of affection which is most definitely still allowed in this state. You're probably thinking we're primitive here, but my view is that a contract is a contract and there are penalties for breaking it. So far, the legislature agrees with me.

The hearing was the usual battle between proven facts and attempted lies. It was held in a small hearing room with just a few witnesses outside if they were needed. The truth is the whole matter was cut and dried. We had them dead to rights and the judge agreed. My client got his 60/40 split and the boyfriend got a decision that he'd be paying off for a few years to come. So far, it was business as usual and then came the often anticipated but never appreciated negotiation with the other side. They wanted to talk. I suppose cheaters get used to having things their way, but it seems they always have some justification for wanting the other side to agree to less and they never do. At least, not until this day.

We met back at my office about an hour after the hearing and I took a few minutes to prepare my client. "Steve, we won. There is nothing about this decision that is unenforceable. We'll just hear them out, let them cry, and then tell them we are enforcing the judge's ruling." That's when it got interesting.

My client told me what he had in mind. "Steve, you won! They owe you. You don't need to do this."

"Yeah, but for me the divorce is all about getting a fresh start without the baggage, without the daily reminders, and without any more complications in my life. If I can shed all that, then it's worth it."

I didn't agree with him, but at some level I understood. My job is to get the client what they want if it's possible, and this seemed more than possible.

Entering the meeting room I was trying to suppress my amusement. Like I said, the client measured success a little differently from me, but I understood where he was coming from.

The other side was already seated, and they were not happy. The ex-wife was crying, and the boyfriend was angry. I suspect both had more to do with money than anything else and they would get no sympathy from us. The lawyer for the other side looked about as miserable as I've ever seen him. He knew he'd lost and all he wanted was to be paid and rid of the two of them.

I looked at him. "Okay, Bill, it's your meeting."

With a perfunctory nod and a shuffle of his papers, he began. "My clients feel that the judgement wasn't fair. The marriage was on the rocks before the affair started. They feel..."

"Hold it right there!" My client was about to tear into them. "If the marriage was dead, nobody bothered to tell me. If your client had come to me in an honorable manner and asked for a divorce, I'd have been hurt, but at least I'd have known. She should have done that before she started spreading her legs for that piece of crap sitting there!"

I grabbed his arm, and he stopped. Looking at me, I could see the embarrassment in his face. He didn't want to let them get to him and they had. With a deep breath, he sat down and waited.

"Bill, they had their chance. The judge ruled. It's over." He knew the score and was slowly nodding in agreement, but his clients weren't ready to let it go.

"If you think I'm going to pay this cuck one cent, you can just..."

"That's enough!" Bill had reached his limit and could stand no more embarrassment. "Sit down and shut up or get yourself a new lawyer. I've had all I can take from you two." The boyfriend was now ready to take a swing at his own lawyer and the ex-wife was shocked. I guess she'd never had anyone tell her off before. She was used to getting her way. That was my client's fault, but he was rectifying that mistake today.

Still, the boyfriend wasn't finished. In a more controlled manner that was seething with rage, he went on. "What about her fair share? What's this 60/40 bullshit? Where's the alimony? She has it coming to her and that judge is trying to stiff her."

The boyfriend saw his big payout slipping between his fingers and for a moment I almost felt sorry for her. Almost.

I looked at my client and he gave me a nod. He still wanted to go through with it.

Reluctantly, and with a deep breath, I started. "Well, you're in luck. My client is prepared to let you both off the hook. That perked them up! It's always about the money with this type.

Looking at the boyfriend, I started. "My client is willing to forgo your payment as laid out in the judge's decision on two conditions." I let that thought hang in the air for a moment. I was starting to enjoy this. "Those two conditions are: first, you pay his legal fees. Right now that stands at twenty-nine thousand and... let's just round it up to thirty thousand." I could tell he didn't like it, but it was still less than the judgement.

He reluctantly says "Alright" and starts to stand.

"There is a second condition." That dropped him back into his chair. "The second condition is you move away. You move at least one hundred miles from here and don't come back."

For a moment I couldn't tell if he was confused or just thinking about it, but eventually he nodded in agreement. That's one down and one to go.

Turning to the ex-wife, I gave her much the same deal. "My client is willing to give you a 50/50 split if you also agree to move away to a location at least one hundred miles from here."

No matter how long I do this job, I just won't understand some people. This woman cheated on her husband and then filed divorce papers. Now you'd think I'd stabbed her in the heart. She collapsed into herself and began to weep. She was shaking her head and moaning, and for the life of me I had no idea why.

In time, it became clear that we weren't going to get anything more out of her today, so both sides went back to their respective offices to talk. My secretary, I mean my wife, got us two cups of coffee and I began to debrief my client.

"I'm fairly certain that he's going to sign. I have no idea about her."

He was just sitting there deep in thought.

"Just for the sake of knowing, why did you do it?"

He looked at me with that defeated expression I've seen too many times in this business. "She broke me. She broke my heart. The divorce was hard but knowing that she'd cheated on me was almost more than I could take. I don't want to see her again. I don't want to run into her at the store or on the street. I don't want to see her walking somewhere, and I sure don't want to see her having fun. I just want to get on with my life, make a new start, and put the past in the past."

I'll tell you that I wish more of my clients felt this way. It would make divorce a much faster, simpler, and cheaper affair.

"That decision is going to cost you. His check plus her 10% adds up."

"I don't care. With what I'll be saving on all her wants and needs, I'll be throwing money in the bank."

So there it was. He was leaving the past behind him and all he wanted was a fresh start. I didn't have the heart to tell him that one mile or a hundred miles, she'd still be living rent free in his head for a long time to come.

We got the call the next day. They had both agreed to the modification of the judgement. I drew up the papers, everyone signed without having to face each other again across a table, and it was done.

I still see both men from time to time. Both have moved on, found good women, and rebuilt their lives. They both came to me to draw up wills and all the associated papers that modern husbands and fathers need. I was happy for them.

Every year in spring before Memorial Day and the start of vacation season, I like to invite some of my favorite clients over to the house for a cookout. That's usually when they learn that the secretary who listened to their complaints and tales of woe is actually my wife. There is sometimes embarrassment and mostly good humor. Seeing these victims of injustice land on their feet and get on with their lives may be the single greatest pleasure this career offers me, and I look forward to it every year.

On this particular year I had a former client, a woman about Steve's age, who had been through a rather nasty divorce which is to say a typical divorce. She'd caught her husband cheating on her, became consumed by that particular form of rage and hurt that only a woman can possess, and tried to get his balls in the divorce. Guys always accuse the ex of doing that, but judges never let it happen. Just once I'd like to see... Well anyway, I liked her. She seemed genuine and it's always the honest ones who get hurt the most. So I invited her along with Jimmy and Steve and some others. I always tell my clients there is just one rule and that is that nobody needs to tell anyone why they hired me if they don't want to. It was just a cookout for some of my favorite clients.

What I had hoped would happen did happen. She got into a one-on-one conversation with Steve and the two wandered off to a quiet corner of the backyard to talk. I let them have their space, but from time to time I glanced in their direction. A rather serious conversation seemed to evolve slowly into something lighter until they were both laughing. I knew my hopes were answered when I saw her place her hand on his arm while laughing and looking up into his eyes. I never asked them what happened that night, but on the way out she gave me a kiss on the cheek and a quiet "Thank you". He was just beaming with a very happy if maybe a bit goofy grin as the two of them left at the same time. I wrote up a prenup for the two of them about a year later and I've never seen two happier people sign a legal document detailing what would happen if they divorced. I don't expect to see that document again.

As for Jimmy, his prediction proved correct. His ex-wife got bounced about eight months after the divorce was final as her sugar daddy grew tired of her. She tried coming back to no avail. He'd have none of it. "Once burned..." and all that. Eventually, he did find a lovely and confident woman who knew what she wanted, and she wanted Jimmy. In time he agreed, and the pain of the past fell away as he built that new life he wanted with a new love and a commitment that anyone could see was lasting and permanent.

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I explained in the first installment that the characters had hijacked the story and turned it into something I did not expect. I like the idea of a divorce lawyer who sometimes finds a happy ending and tried to imagine how it might happen again. For better or worse, this is the result of that effort. I hope you liked it.