Don't Rush to Judgement 01

Don't rush to judgement 01

Hello there, I'm Jeff and I don't mind those who refer to me as Jeffery, especially since that seems to be a woman's thing and I'm happy to leave things be. I'm also pretty happy that Mrs. Nunez from behind my house lets her cat out of her side door after dark while wearing little to nothing under her evening robe, but that jumping ahead.

Anyways, I'm 24, which you would think is old enough to know better about a few things, but until lady luck actually runs out and bites me in the ass, what's the rush, right? Especially since I have a decent job down at the distribution warehouse and I also occasionally make deliveries on Friday nights at the Line Dance Club, which I'm happy to report, is a quiet haven of sexually inspired flirting activity as any of the younger 20 something nightclubs located throughout the city of Middleton since it's filled to the brim with 'neglected' housewives. I mean, it is mostly just harmless fun, but it's still fun.

So, my place, right? It's cool and it's a place that I took over from my parents when they moved 'up and out' a few years back and thanks to a mom with a pretty keen eye for quality, I started out having a nicely furnished house. The colors and patterns may be a little soft for my adult tastes, but since I haven't even developed adult tastes yet, it's all perfect.

Now, the property layout is a little less than perfect since my place faces forward as compared to the neighborhood behind me, but the good news is that the lot next to me is empty. Well, it's a utility lot with pipes, wood poles, steel poles, valves, huge metal boxes that go all 'buzz, buzz, buzz' and things like that, but at least I'll never have a human neighbor. I mean, the Aliens might land there and use it as a power source and a water refresher system and to make a phone call home, but as long as the female Aliens have boobs, who cares, right?

Anyways, the front yard is as narrow as I've ever seen before and the backyard is just barely more, but since I grew up with it like that, I'm used to it. Oh, and the skinny backyard is how I know all about when Mrs. Nunez lets her cat out while wearing next to nothing.

So, about the neighborhood behind me then. It's cool and even though I'm that 'guy' who has the house that faces the other way since I live on the main cross street, we all have something in common on Thursday nights. And one could say that we all meet just down the main street in the 'park & ride' area or one could say that Thursday nights are a 'non cooking' night since that's when the 'bacon lady' pulls her food truck into the 'park & ride' gravel covered area and feeds the neighborhood masses between 5pm & 7pm.

Now, her name is Mrs. Molly Molls, but I refer to her as the 'bacon lady' because she offers strips of bacon on literally any sandwich or small pizza that she sells. And she knows what she's doing because she has the entire neighborhood hooked on bacon. But that's cool too and don't even fret over how your BLT sandwich container won't close properly because not only is the BLT stacked that high, she also slices her own bread from a loaf and thickness is a blessing, not a curse.

Anyways, it's almost like a neighborhood block party on Thursday nights and a great meeting place because everyone patiently and quietly waits in line because...

"[Sneak attacks from the left side] I mean, I may have rushed to judgement the other night at the Line Dance Club, Jeffery, when I accused you of being wrapped around the bread loaf slicer's little finger and I hope how I later wrapped my lips just as tight around your manhood made up for my mistake, so?"

Oh, it more than made up for such a rush to judgement accusation! And by the way, when you're 24 and carefree, blow jobs more than quality as harmless fun, in case you're scrolling up and reading back.

Oh, and for another by the way, the bread loaf slicer is Mrs. Molly Molls' 18 years old daughter and occasional food truck helper, Island Rose. Who is not on my radar because she's just a kid. Who may or may not have someone wrapped around her finger. Which might be why she slices the bread so thick because...

"[June of 24] hey there, Jeffery [sighs], I'll have your BLT sandwich bread sliced extra thick like you like it in a moment, but [sighs] now all my friends think that I've stuck a gold mine with my hands wrapped tightly around a pick axe for the wonderful 18th birthday gift that you [sighs and slices] gifted me, so."

Oh, in my defenseless defense, I had to enlist the help of Island Rose's BFF, Karlie, for such a wonderful birthday gift because what I originally bought her was an emergency sewing kit for her glove box and before you rush to judgement, it was the $4.95 deluxe emergency sewing kit with extra buttons and everything! Which I still gave to her, you know, along with what have been described as 'super cute, super trendy, teeny anklet boots' with perfect sized heels. I don't know, I think they were black suede with gold flippy floppy strings.

"[July of 24] hey Jeffery [sighs], I'm glad that you made a personal at my graduation party today [sighs], except I'm nervous that you're seeing me in such a stressful moment because all my friends have noticed that I'm in such a distressed state and I'm so distressed [sighs] and worried over Mr. Bubbles, that I'm developing wrinkles on my fingers [holds up hand and shows her wrinkles, um, which look more like fingerprints], see?"

Well, when I first entered her graduation party in her parent's backyard, I mean, the only thing under distress was the grass from all the dancing that Island Rose and her cheerleader friends were doing. Oh, and Mr. Bubbles is her super cute bubble compact car, which holds two cheerleaders comfortably up front and five pairs of shoes and boots, three pairs of shorts, two blouses, two backpacks and umpteen hair bands comfortably in the back because...

"[Arm gripping sneak attack] shame on you, Jeffery, for tormenting my niece, Island Rose, because we all know that you're about to surprise her with four new tires for Mr. Bubbles, mm-hmm and I have a good mind to release your sneaky secret to everyone right now, mm-hmm!"

"Oh, Auntie Sarah Mullens, is it shame on me too for stopping by last Tuesday night, just after your hubby left for the Transmission Shop, huh?"

"[Turns red faced] well, I mean, Jeffery, I mean, I mean, it was shame on you until you fucked me proper like I haven't been fucked in over fifteen years, especially since I had already written off sex as a thing in my life, especially over the couch like you took me, so, um, I mean, um, well, the hubby goes to the Transmission Shop every Tuesday evening, so, um, don't be a stranger and um, enjoy the party because..."

"[Beep, beep, beep goes the car hauler backup alarm] I have a Mr. Bubbles delivery with four fresh tires, so, who is going to sign for this and who gets credit for the emergency sewing kit that I found in the glove box because if that credit is open, I like cheerleaders, I mean, parties, so?"

(Chuckles) the car hauler driver did not get credit or lucky that day.

"[August of 24] well Jeffery [sighs and slices loaf bread], all of my friends have reminded me that I'm that much closer to heading off to the university [sighs and slices] soon and it seems like that is something that I should be worried sick over and about [sigh, sniffle, sob, sighs and slices] because I'm worried sick over the pressures of 'rush week' and I'm wondering if you're worried sick about that too, Jeffery because now, I've developed worry winkles on the bottom of my heels, so?"

Hah, me, worried over the pressures of rush week? When I first went to college, the Frat house asked me if I could contribute at least one case of beer a week and two bags of stick pretzels and that was it! And just like her worry wrinkles fingerprints, heels have heelprints too, am I right folks?

"Make sure my fries are golden toasty tonight, Island Rose and why would you worry at all when any of the sorority houses at the university would love to have such an intelligent and beautiful pledge such as yourself, rush week or not, especially that trending Boom-Laka-Laka-Laka-Boom sorority house, so?"

"[Frustrated over not having a tight enough pinky finger grip] or, or, or, Jeffery, my pledge could end up getting accepted by the Doo-Wack-A-Wack-A-Doo sorority house because I only have enough super cute outfits to create three 'rush week pledge' videos! And even worse, I could end up staying in the normal dorm building, the cinder block dorm building, because sorority house space is at a premium!"

Huh, Island Rose became even cuter when she was frustrated because...

"[Slides food order] that will be $17 plus tip, Jeffery, who, silly little ole fucking me, who I thought was near suffocation from my 'girl next door' pinky finger grip!"

Huh, I thought her mom, Mrs. Molly Molls, was near suffocation last Sunday, but then she wasn't and showed me how the maturing women sucked dick, so, huh. Which was to drain my balls to keep me out of her bacon sizzling booty because...

"Island Rose! Watch your language and just for that outburst for all in line to hear, I won't be paying in cash tonight, but instead, I'll clog up the system and pay with this stack of plastic gift cards [slams down the stack of gift cards in dramatic fashion], so?"

"[Island Rose starts to object, but stops mid word] eek, eek, eek, good for one complete Cowboy Carter super cute outfit, eek [flips next card], good for one complete afternoon pizzeria outfit, eek [flips next card], good for one super cute Wednesday night study group outfit, eek [flips next card], eek, oops, good for one complete Daisy goes to church outfit [slips to bottom of the pile and flicks next card], eek, good for three class distraction outfits, eek [flicks next card] good for one complete goth pirate outfit for the sorority Halloween party, eek [flicks next card], eek, held in reserve for future sorority sister bribes in the event that a roomie needs a push, eek [flicks next card], eek, good for one..."

"[Slides up from behind during the commotion] psst, I received your little gift box, Jeffery, but the note of instructions of just how in hell do I explain to my hubby about why I'm wearing fringy tassel pasties while letting out the cat at night, seemed to be missing, so?"

"[Turns around in surprise and immediately reaches down] oh, Mrs. Nunez, I mean, when was the last time your hubby saw you naked under your evening robe anyways, huh?"

"[In the background] eek, good for one complete negligee lingerie set for 'nightie night' in the sorority house, eek [flicks next card], eek, good for..."

"Hah, that ole geezer sleeps in the basement and hasn't seen me naked in over 13 years! But I was trying to break the ice because I never even knew that from the front while standing up in the driveway and against the house was a legit sexual position! Also, I think we were caught on the Dobson's door camera, but I don't care since that was so amazing and fulfilling, so?"

"[In the background] eek, good for two complete sorority house duties outfits, including passing out flyers to the guy's dorms, eek [flicks next card], eek good for a bazillion name brand undies sets, eek [flicks next card], eek, also held in reserve because a little birdie said that a certain solo roomie sister might be bribed with Lilly Lue Lime activewear sets, eek [flicks next card], eek..."

"[Another line cutting sneak attack] I mean, I wanted to stroll across the street after watching my door camera footage and suck your very perfectly sized cock clean of your sex mess, Jeffery, but I didn't, so?"

Well, since Mrs. Nunez lets her cat out on a regular basis, I mean, there's always the next time, right, because...

"OMFG, people, line it up and get your orders in now because we shut down operations right at 7pm tonight because the Boutique's on the Strip are only open to 9pm, so, get with it, people! Sizzle that bacon momma because I have places to go and pledge videos to plan!"

"[Huff, puff, sizzle, huff] I'm sizzling as fast as I can, daughter! Anyways, I knew all about this anyways, so, just go, since you know, your BFF, Karlie, just so happened to show up in your Mr. Bubbles at this very moment [sizzling booty shaking like she was almost out of bacon], so, go! And this 'rush week' ploy had better work because my daughter will not settle for the 'Wiki-Kiki-Kinky-Woo' sorority house!"

"[Beep, beep] let's get with it, future sorority sister, Island Rose!"

Well, here's what I learned about this so called 'rush week' after that. First, it's more like two weeks when you factor in the audition videos and the sorority selection process and all that. And secondly, OMFG, who was this Island Rose that I never knew existed because in each of her approximately 35 audition pledge videos, OMFG, because since when did she know exactly how to look into the camera like that, not to mention how perfectly she leaned into the camera like she did! And don't even get me started on how she perfectly described each and every article of clothing and each piece of jewelry that she wore in each video! I mean, she knew more information about everything and spoke into the camera like she made the stuff, right?

And never mind that I'm not complaining about how, OMFG, not only did she name her undies, while leaning into the camera, she finger traced exactly where and how they fit on her because...

"[Snuggles tight during the audition video watch session] well, Jeffery, you started it [pushes sizzling bacon booty back into him], so?"

"[Grinds back] I mean, Mrs. Molls, I thought I was finishing it tonight because you just said that you haven't had sex on this couch since Island Rose was born, so?"

"Wait, what, Jeffery? Are you saying you can mount me and mount me dirty face down, even after I just now sucked your nut out, hmm? Where have you been for the last 18 years, hmm?"

Um, at the end of the street, in the first house, so?

End Don't rush to judgement 01