Now You Are Part of Me

Like many things in life, sometimes it's the things that we have become accustomed to on a day-to-day basis, that all of a sudden, something, or someone, opens your eyes to see. The eyes that had been blind to what had been staring you in the face for so many years.

And sometimes it takes one of 'life's misfortunes' to cement a growing and long-lasting relationship through seemingly divine intervention.

Just a note. Like all of my stories, it's a really slow build. So, hang in there.

Sara and I have always been really close. The fact that we were first cousins was never something that wasn't a big deal to us or our parents. We were born within a month of each other, with mine first. I often kidded her that I was older and wiser, but never really believed it. She was always two steps ahead of me. We often joked that our parents must have had a contest to see who get pregnant first.

But then there's something about that whole thing that you really don't want to think about. I mean, visualizing your parents messing around. Nope, not going there... ever.

From as early as I can remember, whenever our families would get together for a picnic, a holiday celebration, or a birthday, she'd always be by my side. Whenever there was a disagreement, she always stood alongside me and defended me. Guys in school knew that if anyone disrespected her in any way that they'd have to deal with me.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

We grew up in the 'corn belt' of the Midwest in the 70s in a small farming town. By 'small' I mean a town with a population of 4,000, give or take. The town had the usual small-town stores: two grocery stores and gas stations. The four taverns in town were the same, but different. Each with its own beer neon sign in the window: Pabst, Old Style, Schlitz. Well, you get the picture. I guess that you could say that it was kind of a 'redneck' town. But stuck out in the middle of corn fields what would you expect?

Besides my parents, I had a sister who was two years younger than I was. I guess now is a good time to introduce myself. I'm Jason. I would consider myself pretty average in everything. I didn't have an outgoing personality. I was the type of guy who would just blend in with the crowd.

My uncle's family had three girls: Sara, the oldest, Bonnie, and Elaine, the youngest. I didn't pay much attention to Sara as we grew up, it was like she was always just there as part of the family. But, when we were together she was my 'opposite' in the personality department. I guess it was that copper-colored hair that gave her a bit of fire in her personality. She could light up a room the moment that she entered. All she had to do was flash a smile and flash her hazel-green eyes.

We didn't live on a farm. but we were a ways out in the country. Our house was a modest ranch-style with three bedrooms that sat on five acres of towering oak, hickory, and black walnut trees. In the fall we would all go out and gather the fallen hickory and walnuts, dehusk them, and lay them all out on our basement floor to dry for a few months before cracking them open and picking out the 'nut meat'. It was tedious, but on a cold winter day, there was nothing else to do. But with all of us pitching in, it wasn't that big of a deal. For us, it was just a chance for the two families to get together and spend some time.

My cousins lived in a two-story house on the edge of town, within walking distance of the high school and about 15 minutes from where we lived. Both houses were built by our dads before they were married.

We were all pretty active as we grew up. With the forest of trees, we would build forts and with the help of our dads a nice treehouse about 15 feet above the floor of the forest. It would easily sleep four and was complete with a waterproof roof and openings for windows. It became Sara's and my refuge whenever we wanted to get away from everyone for some quiet 'alone' time, which we did pretty often. Just the two of us.

We did pretty well in school. In grade school and middle school, we were always in separate classes. Don't know why. It's just the way it was. Perhaps it was our parents' way of forcing us to meet and make friends outside of just being the two of us.

In High School, we shared a few classes whenever there was only one section offered, like chemistry, physics, and advanced literature. Other than that, we were in separate classes, probably for the same reason.

Sports were never our thing. For me, I just didn't have the natural athletic ability. For Sara, it was mostly her size. I mean, being only five foot four inches tall and weighing less than 100 pounds she was pretty small.

Even with all of that, we studied together. We competed against each other for grades. Whenever she beat me on a test or homework assignment, which was a fair amount of the time, she always held it up next to her grinning face.

Dating was something that we kind of dabbled in. It started with Sara.

It was the middle of our Junior year. During one of our study sessions, she stopped and looked over at me. Sensing her gaze, as I always did, I looked up. She had a bit of a 'worried' look. I don't know how else to describe it. Like she was afraid to tell me what was on her mind. That had never happened before. We had always been open and honest with each other.

"I've been asked to go the spring dance by Jack Hensel."

I knew Jack. He seemed like a decent kind of guy. But the fact that some guy had seen something in my cousin that I just kind of took for granted caused my gut to tighten a bit.

I guess I was pretty oblivious as to how beautiful my cousin had become almost overnight.

Her ginger-colored hair that she had been born with had turned a deep copper as she hit her teens. Her hazel-green eyes gave her an exotic look. Her skin was really sensitive to the sun, so she stayed pretty much covered up throughout the summer, keeping her complexion pretty 'freckle-free'. And then there were those little bumps on her chest that seemed to have magically appeared over the previous winter.

Then all of a sudden, there, in front of me was my beautiful cousin.

I was brought out of my thoughts by, "Jason, are you OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Looking at me with a grin. She knew me better than that.

"Liar."

We both laughed.

"I'm happy for you. You deserve to be asked to go. You'll have fun."

She blushed but added with a saddened voice.

"I know. Thing is, the guy who I really wanted to ask me doesn't even seem to know that I exist. I mean, he's friendly and everything, but that's about it."

"Have you tried to get his attention?"

"Every chance that I get."

"Then he must be dumber than a box of rocks."

She just gave me a warm smile.

In the end, she told me that the dance was fun. Adding that it was just a one-time thing. But it awakened something inside of me... my cousin was beautiful with a warm and caring personality. Things that I had taken for granted.

Perhaps I was the one, 'Dumber than a box of rocks'.

...................................................

We had turned 18 toward the end of the summer. Two birthday parties. I got a playful kiss to my cheek when we were out of sight from our parents.

With a grin, "I've always wanted to do that," followed by a kiss to my other cheek, before turning to rejoin the families.

I stood there, numb at what just happened. But as I replayed it in my head, a smile came to me. My cousin Sara had just kissed my cheek... both cheeks for the first time.

There was a Sadie Hawkins dance coming up at the end of November. I had gone the previous year with a girl from my Chemistry class, actually, she was my lab partner. It was fun and I was hoping to be asked this year, my Senior year.

One afternoon, the house was quiet. It was just me and my mom. I was sitting in front of the TV, just watching some college football game. She came in and sat in the chair next to me.

In her 'mom' voice, "Are you planning on going to the Sadie Hawkins dance, if some girl asks you?"

"If someone asks me, yeah, I'll go. It was fun last year. All casual and everything. I think I went out with her a few times afterward. We're still friends, but I think she's got interests in other places. Why?"

I could see her mulling over what was on her mind.

"What if Sara asked you?"

I think that I just looked back at her. I couldn't believe what she just asked.

"You mean like, Cousin Sara?"

"Yes."

I think the blood drained from my face, as I looked back at my mom like she had a 'third eye'.

"Why me? I mean, any guy in school would die to go with her. She's a beautiful girl."

"Yes she is," pausing, "She's had a crush on you since before Junior High. She thinks the world of you," another pause, "You never saw it, did you?"

Shaking my head, as words were difficult to come to me.

"Her mom and I have talked. Sara's afraid that you won't go if she asks you. She's afraid to ask because she doesn't want to be turned down because you're cousins, or made to look foolish in your eyes."

Suddenly, the light went on in the back of my thick brain. Our conversation after being asked to the Spring Dance by Jack about a guy who she wished would notice her, but who appeared to seem like she was invisible.

What if I did accept, then what? It would be really weird to be doing anything that resembled 'dating'. And probably something that the families would really frown on. But, what if we just got together for some casual times on occasion? Would that push the 'taboo boundary'?

Coming out of my haze, "What if I did accept, we go, have fun... then what? I mean, it's not going to be like we're dating or anything. Should I ask her to the next spring dance? Prom? Would her feelings be hurt if none of that happened? Because the last thing that I ever want to do is hurt her feelings?"

I could see my mom deep in thought.

"You've known each other all of your lives. You two have hung out together in your treehouse more times than I can count. You've even spent many nights there when you were younger. You're closer than just friends. Have you ever talked about how you feel about each other?"

"Not really. But, thinking back, Sara started talking about a guy that she liked, but he wasn't picking up on her interests. She said it was like she was invisible to him."

Looking at my mom, "She was talking about me. I never had thoughts like that. I mean, we're cousins. What's the point?"

"I know what you're saying. But it's OK to be close friends with your cousin. And if you're wondering about after the dance. Just follow what feels right. Do stuff together. Maybe not on a regular basis. Just do things. You don't really have to go anywhere. Maybe just hang out here, or at her house. Your aunt and uncle would be fine with all of that. They also know the closeness that you two share. It's a rare gift. Cherish it. Just don't hurt her."

..................................................

The dance was fun. Yes, we did get a few looks. We didn't care. When the first slow dance came up, I looked over at Sara, wondering. She returned my look with a warm smile. I had my answer.

We knew that we had to be careful about how close we danced. Our classmates were watching. So, I just put my hands on her waist, and she casually wrapped her hands around my neck as we kept a respectable distance between us.

It was toward the end of the evening. A slow romantic song was being played. We were off in a corner and kind of away from everyone. Sara wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her firm body into mine. It took me by surprise as I looked back at her.

Looking back through her soft hazel-green eyes, she whispered into my ear, "Hold me. Hold me tight. I don't care what others may think. I want this. I want to feel you close to me. I've wanted to feel you close to me forever."

So, that's what I did. My arms held her in our first warm embrace. I had to take a moment to look around, just to see if we were getting any looks. We weren't. Everybody else was too busy enjoying their dates. I relaxed. My embrace tightened. Sara shifted a bit. My god, her firm little breasts felt wonderful against my chest. I felt a brief warm kiss to my neck, and then it was gone. She snuggled in closer. My embrace tightened.

Neither of us wanted the song to end. This moment in time. OUR moment. Our eyes met. No words were spoken. None were needed. Our eyes said, 'Thank you' as something passed between us.

"Let's go," she whispered.

In the car as I headed toward her house after the dance, "Jason, I don't want to go home yet. I don't want tonight to end. Can you find a quiet spot?"

We had left about half an hour early, so I knew that we had some time before she was expected to be home.

One of the nice things about my parent's car was that it had bench seats. As soon as she got in, Sara scooted over to the center. Right next to me. So close I could catch the scent of her sweet perfume. So close that our thighs touched. I put my arm around her and she rested her head on my shoulder as I drove.

We rode in silence. I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I mean, I had been on country roads after a date. I knew what we did. Was Sara, my dear cousin Sara, wanting to head in that direction?

Finding a quiet country road, I parked but kept the engine running just to keep warm.

There was a full moon that lit up the countryside. Looking over at her, I could see her face with a warm smile. Sara broke the silence.

"Jason, can I ask you something?"

"After all our time together, you should know that you can ask me anything."

"It's kind of personal, so if you don't feel like answering, then I understand."

"We've shared a lot of personal stuff over the years. Stuff that we would never share with anyone else. So, what would you like to ask?"

And we have. She told me when her mom bought her her first training bra. The day she had her first period, and how scared she was.

Looking down for a moment before raising her head to look at me with those dark eyes, "Have you ever kissed a girl?"

I just looked at her with the warmest smile that I could muster. I knew where this was going, and I was fine with it. But my heart was beating a hundred times a minute.

"Yes."

"More than once?"

"Yes."

Quiet. Our eyes never leaving each other as something, once again, passed between us. I don't know what or how to explain it, but something did. I felt it in my heart.

"Would you kiss me?... On the lips this time."

Even in the dim moonlight, I could see the smile, as I remembered the two cheek kisses that she had given me for my birthday.

Yes, I wanted to kiss her. I was 99% certain that she had never been kissed. I wanted her to remember her first kiss.

Kissing her forehead, as a sign of my care, our friendship, and that she was so special to me, before lightly brushing my lips across Sara's soft lips, so gentle like they were something fragile.

She let out a low and prolonged "mmmm", our embrace tightening into a warmth shared by each of us for the first time. A warmth that had been building all of our young lives. We just never knew it. Well, maybe that's not completely true... Sara knew... I was obviously oblivious... 'Dumb as a box of rocks'.

The embraces tightened. Our hands roamed over each other's backs. Sara pressed her young body into me as our lips sealed the unspoken connection between each of us. It would be a connection that we would each carry with us for the rest of our lives, no matter what path each of our lives would follow.

Pulling back, our faces inches apart, time stopped. Even in the light from the moon and the radio, Sara's eyes were soft and serene. And then there was the gentle smile.

"Thank you. It was more than I ever dreamed. You're going to make some girl very happy."

And that was that. We both realized that it was most likely a one-time thing.

It was difficult to act 'normal' around the rest of the family from that point on, but somehow we pulled it off. Still, every time we looked at each other, there was a shared and knowing look.

............................................

Time went on. We did stuff together. Over the winter, when our families would get together for an afternoon dinner, we would take quiet walks through the snow-covered trees as everyone else sat around and watched football. Once out of sight of everyone, our hands would find each other's.

The families were comfortable with our feelings for each other. Sara had a few dates here and there, and she would always share the details. I also had a few just 'fun dates'.

We went to our last Prom together.

Sara looked so elegant in her formal. It was strapless, leaving her creamy-white shoulders bare. The neckline was modest and just came across the upper swells of her little tangerine-sized breasts. Her deep copper-colored hair against her white shoulders gave her an exotic look. Her makeup made the green in her eyes the greenest that I've ever seen.

I couldn't help but smile at my 'date'... my cousin... my very dear and close cousin.

The Prom was fun. By this time, everybody was used to seeing us together. So much so that Sara told me that no other guy asked her to go to the Prom, as they already knew who she would be going with.

There was a local photographer there off in a separate room taking portraits. Even with the many photos that our parents had already taken, we wanted a special one. One that we could put on our desks.

We sat with our friends. Swapped out dance partners at times. But we kept the slow dances just for us.

As we approached her house at the end of the evening and saw that the porch light was on, I just drove by and parked a couple of doors away in the dark for a few minutes of 'alone time', before our special evening ended.

Even in the dim lighting from the distant street light, her face glowed.

"Thank you for tonight. I'll never forget it. I couldn't imagine spending my last Prom with any other guy."

"It was my pleasure. Any time that I can be with you and hold you is special."

Quiet.

"Jason... kiss me."

Our second kiss took us to a place that was reserved for lovers, at least in spirit. Sara's lips felt so soft, warm, and full. The feeling of her tongue against mine was like nothing that I had ever experienced. I felt my cock hardening in my tight briefs. For the first time in my life, I was having sexual feelings for Sara... my cousin. I had no idea what she was feeling. I knew that we couldn't go there. It would be a big mistake.

All too soon, our second kiss ended. No words were spoken. And once again, none were needed. Our hands came to each other's cheeks as our feelings for each other were silently shared.

And then I spoke four words that had been tucked deep inside me for all of my life. Words that I hoped and prayed would be received in the way that they were meant.

A kiss to her forehead.

"I love you Sara."

Even in the dim light, I could see the gentle smile as she first touched my cheek and then wiped away a tear.

"I love you too Jason. I have for all of my life. I was just afraid to say it. Afraid that you didn't feel the same. No matter what happens in our future, you will always have a special place in my heart."

And that was that. We each knew that we would be heading off to different colleges at the end of the summer. Sara was headed to the University of Iowa for nursing, and I was headed off to Iowa State University of Science and Technology for Mechanical Engineering. Even being around an hour and a half away by car, if we had a car, getting together would be sporadic. For the first couple of years, we would only see each other during the holidays, spring breaks, and over the summer.

We wrote to each other on a weekly basis about our lives, our classes, and yes roommates. There were no dates or anything. Each of us poured ourselves into our classes. Our first extended break came over Christmas, with each of us getting home about a week before Christmas until just after the New Year. We spent as much time together as we could squeeze in.

While the families relaxed after a full Christmas feast, we once again took a slow walk in the trees.

Our treehouse was still there and was inviting us to once again spend some time there in our own little world.

The floor was hard and cold. But with Sara straddling my hips, all of that discomfort evaporated.

Touching each other's faces, we wordlessly communicated our thoughts for a few moments before our lips met... and met... and met.

"mmmm, I've missed you Jason. I've missed the closeness, this closeness," her hand once again against my cheek.

"I've missed you too, my favorite cousin."

In between kisses, we got caught up on things that were difficult to put into our letters. Or talk about in front of the rest of the family. It was fun. After about an hour, we both realized that it was time to return to reality. Besides, my butt was numb. A final parting kiss and warm smiles.

..............................................

Sara decided to take some summer classes to try and get a jump on getting her final nursing degree. To say that I was disappointed would be a major understatement. But I knew that it was in her best interest.

Time went on. Sara completed her undergraduate requirements two quarters early and began her nursing degree. She wasn't sure which field of nursing she wanted to go into. Pediatric nursing... while on the surface sounded exciting. The thing was, she knew that there would be 'dark' days. Geriatric nursing didn't appeal to her either. She knew that the elderly need care in their final day, but was afraid of getting too emotionally involved.

She settled on being a surgical nurse. It was a tough field, but she felt she could do it. I knew that she could do it. I knew because I knew her well enough to know that no goal was out of her reach when she put all of her energy into it.

Time went on.

By the time we were seniors, we each lived off campus with two roommates. The thought of visiting each other for a weekend together crossed our minds through our letters. But then there were sleeping arrangements and privacy concerns for our roommates to take into consideration. So, that was off the table. Still, it would have been fun. I'm not sure where that would have led. Probably to a place that we weren't ready to go... if at all.

It took some scrambling, but we were each able to meet up with our families to watch each other walk across the stage to get our Bachelor of Science degree. My heart swelled with pride as they read her full name, "Sara Mari Swanson".

I found a job with a local equipment manufacturer that designs both heavy earth-moving equipment and farm machinery. It was located in a decent-sized city about an hour from where I grew up. Sara was still working on getting her final nursing degree and registration.

Getting together at my apartment for a weekend was pretty much undoable for the near future as she was pouring herself into her studies. From her letters, I could tell that the stress of making the grades that she needed was really taking a toll.

She had a two-bedroom apartment that she shared with another nursing student. I was about an hour and a half away. So in one letter, I asked what she thought about me coming down for a Saturday and then leaving on Sunday. That way, she wouldn't have to take time to make the round trip and everything. I would get a hotel room and take her out for a nice dinner. It would be the first time I had ever taken her out for a nice dinner.

She loved the idea. I told her that I didn't want a motel. I wanted a decent hotel with a dining and bar area. This was to be special for my special cousin. I just didn't know, 'how special'.

Leaving the office put me in the hotel's parking lot around 6:30. It was still light out. As soon as I got out of my car, I heard it.

"JASON!!"

And there, a couple of cars over, was my Sara. She looked so beautiful that she took my breath away. She was wearing a sundress with her shoulders bare that came to mid-thigh. Her hair shined in the sun like a new copper penny. The closer she got, her hazel-green eyes glowed. And then we were in each other's arms as I lifted and spun her in a couple of 360's. Her firm little breasts were plastered against my chest. Dam, she felt good.

Still holding her with her face inches away. We wanted to kiss, but thought it would be better to save it for the privacy of my room.

"My god, it's good to see you. This was such a good idea. Thank you for taking care of me and making me take a break in my studies. I really appreciate it."

"I'll always take care of my favorite cousin."

The door hadn't even closed when Sara melted into my arms. Our lips found each other. We took our time as we savored the closeness that we had missed. It never went into a fever-pitched frenzied kiss. Quite the opposite. This was two very close friends reacquainting.

Strange how some body function just occurs at the most inopportune moment. No, not that. My stomach growled. We both pulled back laughing. I blushed. Sara stroked my cheek.

"I forgot how cute you were when you got all embarrassed. Come on, let's get something to eat. I made reservations at a cute little Italian restaurant. It's family-owned, so it's really good."

The restaurant was perfect. It was quiet and dimly lit. Even for a Friday night, it wasn't all that crowded. We had a booth off to the side. The food was awesome. I had lasagna, and Sara went for their Seafood Alfredo.

As we ate, Sara described her classes and the intensity. She was hoping that she could hold on and make it. At times, she wasn't sure. That was the first time that I had ever seen her doubt herself. She'd always been the one who, once she put her mind and energy into something, would succeed. Reaching across the table and taking her hand in mine, I reminded her that she was a smart and driven-to-succeed type of girl. I got a warm smile.

We headed back to the hotel for a nightcap before she headed back to her room. We had plans to meet here in the morning for breakfast.

Saturday was fun. Sara gave me a leisurely tour of the campus, where her classes were. We held hands the whole time. At times, she rested her head on my shoulder, and my arm circled her waist.

It was midafternoon by the time we got back to her apartment to meet her roommate. Her name was Jessie, Jess for short. She was a little pixie blonde with a personality that was close to Sara's. She was also a nursing student. No wonder they got along so well.

We were planning on going out for a nice dinner so I went back to the hotel to shower.

When the door opened, my breathing and heart stopped. Standing before me was a goddess... my goddess.

No sundress. In its place was a mid-thigh dark blue pleated skirt. But what really caused me to stare was the white button-down blouse with ruffles along the edges. Between those ruffles was a deep V-neckline that went from shoulder to shoulder and ended a bit below her breasts. Her creamy white chest glowed. I had never seen her so sexy. She had applied a bit of makeup, highlighting the green in her hazel eyes.

I was brought out of my trance by her playful words, "Earth to Jason".

"Sorry. Just took me by surprise. My gosh Sara, you're beautiful. I mean, you've always been beautiful. But I've never seen you look like this."

"I'm glad that you like it. Jess helped me pick it out. She also did my makeup."

Dinner was wonderful. Sara had made reservations at a popular seafood restaurant. Over a bottle of Pinot Grigio, we just talked some more. It was like we never ran out of things to share. I told her more about my job, some of my single coworkers, and their attempts to set me up on dates. I told her that I wasn't interested in looking for a girl.

She gave me a puzzled look and then a simple question, "Why?"

'Why?' I had asked myself that question many times and never came up with an answer. Well, that's not totally true. The answer to that question was sitting across the table from me.

"I don't know. Nothing ever felt right. Nothing ever felt like the feeling that I have now, sitting here with you. It's probably why I didn't date too much in high school. Nobody came close to the feeling I have whenever we're together. I know that there's nothing that we can do about it. Still."

Quiet.

"I know what you're saying. Jess keeps trying to do the same with me. I know that she means well, but I have no desire. How can some guy come close to what we have?"

Having finished our dinner, we sat in my car in the restaurant's parking lot, thinking about what to do with the rest of the evening. It was only 9:00. Our choices: go for a walk on her campus hand-in-hand, hang out in her apartment, or visit the hotel's bar for some drinks. None of those really hit the mark.

Then, she placed her hand on my chin and turned my head to look directly into her eyes. The look told me she had something more important in mind that she wanted to do. Something that would set the stage for our future.

"Jason, take me to your hotel. Take me up to your room and then... then I want you to make love to me. And I want to make love to you. I know that neither of us has been with anyone else. Let's give our most precious gift to each other. I want this. I want this more than anything. I have for a long time. I know that we're cousins. I don't care. I don't care about anything else... what anybody may think. YOU are all that I want. YOU are all that I've ever wanted for as long as I can remember."

Quiet, as I gathered my thoughts. My lovely and beautiful cousin, the one who I love from the bottom of my heart, just asked me to make love together.

"Sara," my voice whispered, "Sara, my beautiful cousin. You know that once we cross that line that we can't uncross it."

"I know. And I don't want to uncross it. I've thought a long time about this moment that is about to happen... that is if you want to."

How could I not smile? We were about to share something intensely intimate.

"Yes. I want to. I've wanted to for a long time. I just didn't know if you were feeling the same."

"Well, now you know," as she kissed my cheek.

.....................................................

Holding my Sara in my arms in my softly lit hotel room at the edge of the bed made my heart beat even faster. Each of us knew what was about to happen as I felt a tightening in my briefs. The feeling of her firm body so close. Her firm little breasts pressed into my chest. Her mound pressed against my growing hardness. Our lips met as we poured ourselves into each other like never before.

Pulling back, there was that warm 'Sara smile'.

"Just so you know, we don't need any condoms. I'm on the Pill because it regulates things better. So I want to feel you deep inside me. I don't want anything between us. I want to feel you when you fill me. I want to feel you when you fill me with your essence and make us ONE. I don't care about tomorrow or the next day or the next month. We've got tonight. Who needs tomorrow?"

There was no need to rush. We had all night. Nothing existed outside of the cocoon of warm and deep love that was building around us.

Having never done this before, I hoped and prayed that I wouldn't mess up and would be able to make it memorable for Sara... My Sara.

We had kissed many times, but not like the kiss that was about to happen. The kiss that would take us from best friends... soulmates... to lovers.

Closing the distance once again between our lips brought a wave of anticipation to each of us. My lips nibbled on her upper lip. Then her lower lip. I always loved their softness. Our tongues dueled like two mating serpents. It was soft. It was unhurried. It was a deep, bonding kiss. It was what they call a 'Soul kiss'.

Sara reached between us as she locked her eyes on mine. Slowly, the top button to her blouse was undone. Then the next and the next until it opened a couple of inches and hung there. With a shrug of her shoulders, gravity took over as the garment floated to her feet.

She took a step back, raised her arms over her head, and crossed her legs one in front of the other.

"Jason, look at me."

I wasn't prepared for the sea of creamy whiteness that was before me. Her little breasts were about the size of small tangerines, and each was topped with pale pink nipples.

I sucked in a lungful of air, "Oh god Sara. You're so beautiful."

A warm but now playful smile, "And there's more."

The skirt had an elastic waistband. Moments later, it joined the other discarded garment at her feet.

Once again, my breathing stopped. The light blue bikini panties were molded to her mound. The top edge had to be a fraction of an inch from her copper-colored pubic forest.

Words were impossible to form as I stood there mesmerized by the goddess who stood before me. My goddess.

I was brought out of my trance by a simple question, "You like?".

"Sara my love, you're more beautiful than I ever imagined."

Closing the distance between us, and with a playful smile, "Well, you've seen most of what you get to play with. I think that's my turn to see what I get to play with.

She wasn't as slow removing my shirt as she was removing her own. She was on a mission.

"So sexy," as she rubbed her fingers through my sparse chest hair.

"I've wanted to do that ever since that one summer in high school after a winter when all of this magically appeared."

She brought her chest to mine and rubbed her hard nipples through the softness of my chest.

"And I've dreamed of doing just this. To feel your chest hair on my nipples. But let's get the rest of this off."

Standing before her, as she sat on the edge of the awaiting bed with me in my white briefs, the bulge was straining against the tight cotton fabric. Sara ran her fingertips over the tight material, tracing the sensitive head. I groaned.

"I've never seen one before."

Then, with a mischievous grin, "Show it to me".

I knew that Sara had a playful streak in her, just never saw it like this.

Gripping the elastic waistband and bending at my waist, the tight material was pulled down my legs. Taking a deep breath. I stood and locked my eyes with my cousin.

The mischievous grin from a few moments ago vanished as her eyes fixed on the solid object jutting from my body before I heard the hushed words, "Oh My God."

Dead silence. My cocked throbbed with each beat of my heart.

"Jason... It's so big. And it's supposed to go inside of me?"

I never thought of myself as 'endowed' and have no idea of how it 'measures' up to other guys. I mean guys don't go around the locker room with hard-ons. But like all teenage guys, I had measured it: six inches long and a little under two inches thick.

"I've never seen a real one before. Photos in some of my nursing textbooks, but never a real one. I've heard girls on the dorm floor talking about what their boyfriends looked like. But I never imagined how beautiful everything looks. And so sexy.

I watched as her eyes devoured every dark vein along the flesh-colored shaft. Every wrinkle along my soft pink scrotum. How the edges of the glans flared out. The oozing of the first drop of my clear arousal.

Reaching up, her cool hand wrapped itself around my hot flesh. I gasped at the temperature difference. A hand, other than my own, for the first time. Her fingers traced along the flared glans and up through the underside valley.

Another gasp as her other cool hand cupped my hanging sack and gently rolled the round orbs. Another groan.

My own grin, "Sara, how come you've still got your panties on? Don't you want to be as bare as me?"

With a devilish grin, she leaned back on the bed, raised her butt, pulled them to her thighs, and then raised her legs for me to finish her final unveiling. Settling back, her gaze told me everything that I needed to know. She had been patiently waiting for this moment pretty much since high school. She watched as my eyes were drawn to that copper-colored triangle that decorated her mound. It was full and looked so soft.

"Sara, you keep getting sexier and sexier."

With a grin, "I'll bet that you say that to all the naked girls."

"Only the sexy ones."

Two can play that game.

Then, with a sultry look. Three words that I'll never forget.

"Come to me."

I had read enough to know that a girl takes longer to get aroused than a guy.... To 'get their juices flowing' as the guys in the dorm would say, as their body prepares itself for the joining.

Worshipping her nipples with my lips and tongue brought the sweetest sounds of contentment that I had ever heard. Swirling my fingers through that copper-colored forest, Sara's legs opened like they had a mind of their own.

I had only a vague idea of what I was doing and was just reacting to Sara's responses. Pressing my finger into her folds found a sea of wet warmth. Sara let out a low moan. Her legs went farther apart as a second finger became buried.

"The top,"... pant, "touch me at the top of my slit... gently."

My finger slipped up through her soft and wet slit to the very top and just slowly moved in little circles.

"mmm, yes. Just like that. That feels so good."

For the next few minutes, the room was filled with the soft sounds of Sara's labored breathing. The groans of pleasure told me that something was building deep inside of her.

Suddenly, it was total silence. Looking over, Sara's eyes were closed and her mouth open in a little "O". Her neck muscles strained as she arched her neck and then.

"AAAHHHH... Oh god."

She relaxed for a moment as I continued as the whole sequence of events repeated itself, with an even louder cry. I had no clue what was happening, only that Sara seemed to be in the rapture of something incredibly pleasurable.

"Stop. Give me a minute."

Out of concern, "Sara, are you OK? Did I hurt you?"

A warm smile, "No. You didn't hurt me. Quite the opposite. You gave me an orgasm the likes of which I've never experienced."

"Now. Please enter me. Fill me with everything that you have. Make us One."

I fumbled and fumbled between her open legs. Rubbing the head of my cock between her soft lips, searching for her opening. Then a smile, as I felt her hand guiding me to where she wanted me.

"Right there."

The feeling of her tight warmth as the sensitive tip of my cock entered her body was more than I could ever imagine and the look on her face as I filled her was one of total love. Once fully embedded, I leaned in and our lips met, consummating our first joining.

"I love you, my sweet Sara."

A warm smile, "I love you too Jason. Always have... Always will."

Another kiss.

"I always wondered what it would feel like to have you inside of me. To finally have you where I've dreamed of having you for so many years."

"And?"

"More wonderful than I ever dreamed. To feel you fill me. And not just down there, but in my heart and soul."

"And you feel wonderful too. I'm sorry that I was so blind... so dense."

"It's fine. None of that matters. The important thing is that you're right where you're supposed to be... where you have always meant to be. Now... Make us one. Make love to me. Fill me with your seed."

My hips went into the rhythm that had evolved from the beginning of time. The feeling of the walls of her vagina against the sensitive and swollen crown was unlike anything I could have ever imagined. Sara wrapped her arms around my back and her legs around my waist and locked her heels. Making sure that I wasn't going anywhere.

Once our slow rhythm was regular, I bent my head to meet her lips, kissing her tenderly as her small twin bed started to creak from the rhythm of our movements.

Time stopped. The outside world disappeared. All that existed in the whole universe were the auras of each other as we whispered the names of our lovers into each other's ears... "Sara".... "Jason".

A shiver went down my body as Sara lightly traced her fingernails down my back. She grinned.

I wanted to watch. Sitting up between Sara's open legs, my eyes watched mesmerized at the erotic display beneath me as I slowly moved in and out of her body. The pink lips sealed against the hard shaft until the pink edges of the glans appeared covered with her milky essence. The soft jiggle of her little breasts as they swam on her chest with each penetration.

"So sexy."

Sara had sat up a bit as together we watched our joining. Her hand went down between us. Her two fingers formed a 'V' around my cock as I moved between them.

"I just wanted to feel you move between my fingers."

It was slow. It was tender. Never going into a fever-pitched frenzy. Soon her eyes were closed and her mouth was open as she enjoyed the steady waves of pleasure. It was an intoxicating sight for me to see her body so consumed with passion. Knowing that this was my Sara was the best part about it.

I wanted this to last forever. If the world suddenly came to an end in the next few moments I knew that I would die a happy man. But the evolution of the mating between a man and his woman was catching up to me. I could feel that all too familiar feeling of a release coming.

"Sara... I'm going to cum."

"Look at me. Look into my eyes.... Look into my soul as you claim me as your forever lover and soulmate."

One final push and the tip of my cock kissed her cervix and coated her womb with the essence of my life in a warm and gentle climax of my own. It was a feeling that I would never forget.

A warm kiss followed by, "I love you so much Jason."

"I love you too."

Kiss.

"I would do anything for you... Absolutely anything in my power. I will always look after you. No matter what."

"I know."

We fell asleep naked in each other's arms for the first time in our lives. It felt right. It felt complete. This is where we belong.

Little did I realize that what was headed our way, would put that heartfelt commitment to the test.

...............................................

We got together whenever Sara's class workload would allow it. Since Sara and Jess were pretty close, Jess knew of Sara's new world. So, at the end of their days, they would have some relaxing 'girl talk'. Jess filled in Sara with her favorite positions and everything. Even the arts of giving a blow job and a hand job.

Needless to say, the next time we got together, our world exploded. Cowgirl, Reverse Cowgirl, Doggie, and finally '69'. But, we found that our most favorite position would be a kind of Lotus position with Sara sitting on my lap, fully embedded, and me leisurely and tenderly worshipping her highly sensitive nipples as she rested her cheek on the top of my head and savored our closeness.

We discovered the joys of taking showers together. Soaping each other's bodies. The feeling of Sara's soapy and slippery breasts against my back or my chest was unbelievable. Kneeling in front of my goddess, the water cascaded through the copper-colored strands of her mound, creating little waterfalls. It was a sight to behold. I drank from the stream.

Each night ended in each other's arms, with Sara's head resting in the center of my chest, falling asleep listening to my heartbeat. Neither of us knew how our families would react to this new direction in our relationship. For the most part, we simply ignored it, but deep down, it scared us. This had the potential of tearing our families apart. But our love for each other was so deep that we hoped and prayed that that would be enough to hold everything together, no matter what.

....................................................

Because of her classes and exams, I hadn't seen Sara in a while, like a month or so. She was home for a semester break, so I came home for the weekend.

The moment she stepped into my parents' kitchen, something was off. I couldn't put my finger on it. She looked tired. To me, her color was slightly different. Gone was the creamy white complexion; instead, there was just a hint of something else. Again, I couldn't put my finger on it.

We took a walk, and I asked if she was OK. I told her how tired she looked. She just said that she was feeling a little exhausted and said that it was probably because of her exams for the quarter. I guess that made sense. I knew how driven she was to do well in her studies. She promised to relax while she was home for her break.

We never got together for some quality loving. I mean, we weren't about to hit the backseat of the car on some country road like a couple of 'hormone-raged' teenagers. But we still had some quality make-out time.

Getting together at either her apartment or our favorite hotel didn't happen. Her school workload pretty much consumed all of her attention. We kept in touch through weekly letters. But even through those, I could tell that something was off. Her handwriting wasn't as free-flowing as it used to be. Like I said, 'She was driven. With a single goal in mind. And she wanted to be the best nurse possible'.

It was probably three months later, when she was home for the summer, that I saw her again. This time I could definitely see the change in her color. There was a faint yellow tint. And when she looked at me, the whites of her eyes weren't the snowy white that they always had been. On top of that, she seemed more tired than the last time that I had seen her and looked like she had lost some weight. I mean, she didn't have a lot there that she could lose, but I could see it in her face.

Another walk. She was having problems sleeping. Food didn't interest her. Again, she chalked it up to the stress of her exams.

I asked my parents if they noticed the same things that I did. They hadn't. So, it was dropped.

Things came to a head the following month when while she was eating with my aunt and uncle. On top of her continued tiredness, they noticed that she was having a hard time swallowing and her arms and hands would jerk. It was time to see a doctor.

They ran tests. Then she was checked into a hospital for more tests. My parents kept me updated on what was going on. I drove home that weekend and found her in her room asleep. Sitting with my aunt and uncle, they told me that it had something to do with her liver. They had put her on some medication to remove copper from her system, and also zinc to prevent her intestines from absorbing copper. They were waiting a couple of weeks to see if it helped. The next step would be a liver biopsy to check the amount of copper in the tissue and to check for any liver disease, and if there was any damage.

All of this was new news. It hit me like a freight train. My parents hadn't even heard this. My cousin's health was deteriorating, and all we could do was wait.

I came home every weekend. The second week, the prognosis was in. Liver disease. More specifically, Wilson's disease. It was genetically related. Nobody could understand how it would up in Sara as nobody in the family, hers or mine, ever had any trace of Liver issues. But that didn't matter. Sara had it. On top of all of that, her liver was failing. She was going to need a liver transplant.

We were all tested. Another long week waiting for the results. The immediate family was always the best hope.

The results came in late Friday afternoon. Both families were gathered around my aunt's and uncle's dining table. Sara sat right next to me with her hand resting on my arm.

The results from her immediate family were close and could be viable candidates. However, her parents and her sisters tested positive for the Wilson gene. Each of them only had one mutated gene and are carriers, unlike Sara, who had two mutated genes and has the disease.

Sara was the unlucky one. If both biological parents are carriers, there's a 25% chance that their child inherits both copies of the mutated gene and is affected by the disease. Additionally, there is a 50% chance their child inherits only one copy of the mutated gene and is just a carrier.

It means that her sisters could pass on a normal gene, a carrier state, or a disease state to their children, depending on the genetics of their partner.

Then they looked at me. It was the first smile that I had seen for quite a while.

I was almost a perfect match. Like 93% perfect. The doctors said that they had never seen a more perfect match. If I donated a part of my liver, Sara would only need to be on a relatively mild dose of immunosuppressant medication for the rest of her life with minimal side effects.

We turned to face each other. With warm and welcoming smiles, our eyes locked and our fingers came up and and lightly rested on each other's cheeks. No words were spoken. None were needed as our thoughts traveled across the invisible thread that always connected our hearts and souls.

Tears were streaming down her face.

"You'd do that for me?"

"In a heartbeat."

In a whisper for her ears only, "I told you right after we made love for the first time, that I would do anything for you... Absolutely anything in my power. I will always look after you. No matter what."

Sara wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her tear-streaked face into my shirt.

Looking over at both moms, who were wiping their own tears away at our wordless exchanges.

My only question, "How soon can we do this?"

That night in the emptiness of my bed, I said a silent prayer. Thanking God for this divine miracle.

...................................................

It was scheduled for six weeks. There were a lot more tests that needed to be performed on each of us.

They told Sara that she would have a scar across her midsection, but that they would do everything they could to keep it as minimal as possible. Sara just smiled and told them that she didn't mind. She just said that whenever she would look at it in the mirror, she would know exactly where that part of me was right there in her body.

I brought my boss up to date on what was going to happen to me and my expected recovery time, as I hadn't shared any of this with him. He told me to take as much time as I needed. He also said that whatever the company's medical insurance didn't cover, he was sure that he could get the company to pick up the rest.

We were both being prepped in the same room. And after the surgery and recovery, we would be sharing the same room again. Just not the same bed.

They had just given me an injection for the preliminary anesthetic, you know the one that kind of puts you in a bit of a 'dream world' but doesn't totally knock you out. Before it took effect, I reached over and took Sara's hand. Our eyes meet.

"I love you Sara.... My love."

"I love you too. My Jason."

The last thing that I remember was her soft voice as she squeezed my hand.

"The next time that I see you, you will be a part of me... forever and ever. And not just in my heart and soul, but a permanent part of my body."

Epilogue:

Once Sara had recovered enough, she did go back to school. This time, she was more determined than ever. Her new goal was to be a surgical nurse for an organ transplant team and to also offer counseling to future transplant patients.

Sara moved in with me. Both sets of parents saw it coming long before we did. They knew, and given what we had been through together all of our lives pretty much knew it would happen. We actually got married in a small non-denominational church. Nobody outside of the family knew our backgrounds.

Given that Sara had those genes, we knew that we couldn't have children of our own. So, we applied to adopt. It took a while, and many... many screening interviews, but we were finally successful and went home one afternoon from the hospital with a little brown-eyed girl. Sara said that she would have me wrapped around her little finger in no time... she already had.

We never knew the circumstances behind how or why, and were fine with that.

Her name was Amanda, and she became the second love of my life.