The Thaumaturge Ch. 10

"I don't believe you." Viv said the words flatly. "I can't decide if it's because of how ridiculous this sounds, or because of how fucking stupid you'd have to be for this to have actually happened."

We were at her place, sitting in her living room. Her arms were crossed. It was the next morning, early; she was wearing leggings and a tank top. Her long hair was back in a practical ponytail. I suspected this conversation was interfering with a morning run or workout.

I shrugged, uncomfortable and embarrassed. "I-I mean, I don't know what else to..." I trailed off, ran my hand through my hair, and sighed.

I felt fatigued -- a level of fatigue that had nothing to do with staying up late for another night in a row, with how I'd spent the night tossing and turning, fretting over who to tell... with how embarrassing it was to actually be talking about this with Viv.

It was a bone-deep weariness I had never felt before. I believed what Elana said. That the witches hadn't been draining me properly. That she'd really drained me.

Viv's eyes narrowed. "Okay. So let me make sure I have the facts straight. Your sculpture professor turned out -- in what feels a little too on-the-nose to me, but never-fucking-mind-that for now -- to be an incredibly powerful gorgon, capable of reshaping human flesh and minds as well as stone. Let's skip over that I've never even heard of gorgons outside of Greek mythology, or of magic like that. This gorgon offered to be helpful with your stamina."

I nodded.

"She tells you that you can't cum while she's working on you, that this'll take ten minutes, and if you cum it'll go wrong. But she says she'll help you to last. You're hesitant..." Viv didn't look amused, for once, just exasperated. "... probably appropriately so, but it's not enough to stop you. You agree."

I just nodded, again.

"After you agreed, she started staring into your eyes... sculpting you, I guess?" She looked at me for confirmation.

"I-I mean, yeah..." I said the words uncertainly. A shudder ran through me, at the memory of her eyes in that brief moment when it felt like the curtain had been pulled back on what she really was. I had no doubt that single glimpse would haunt my nightmares for the rest of my life.

"But," Viv continued, "it turns out sculpting you is, conveniently enough, just giving you a really good handjob. You have trouble controlling yourself. And her gorgon eyes, or whatever, makes it impossible for you to move or look away. She helps you last for a while, and then reveals mid-handjob that if you can't last, you'll only be able to orgasm for her. Eventually you lose control anyway, in spite of her helping hand, and now you're worried that's true."

I nodded one last time. When she put it like that it certainly made it sound like Elana had intended for all of this to happen and I'd just been duped.

Viv rolled her eyes. "Okay. Just a few questions about all this. How'd you even realize she was a gorgon anyway, to end up in this situation? Did you just walk up to her and say hey, I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours?"

I had thought long and hard about this particular detail. I'd decided that it wasn't my place to reveal that Diana was back around to Viv, given the bad blood between them. And I didn't see why Diana being there mattered, anyway. It had been my choice to agree to what Elana had proposed.

So I just shrugged. "I mean, not exactly. She seemed to... kind of know. Even in class, she kind of weirdly... lingered, by me."

Viv nodded, lips pursed. "Fine. I'm not even sure I want to ask this next one, but: why didn't you run for the fucking hills when a gorgon proposed fiddling around with your body and mind? Did the words hey, that's so generous of you to offer, why don't I think about it and get back to you ever cross your mind?"

I had an answer for that, but I was embarrassed by it. "She, uh, had demonstrated her powers already before I agreed to the change," I said, not making eye contact.

Viv's eyes narrowed again. "Sorry, you said that so quietly I'm not sure I understood you. What the fuck does that mean?"

"Look, she... made my dick bigger, okay? As like a... demonstration, or whatever. And that part worked fine, so I just thought..." I trailed off, sheepishly.

Viv pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. There was a long moment of silence before opened them and spoke again. "Okay. Cool. Great, even. Dick size and stamina. Any other male insecurities the gorgon offered to address? Did she say she could add few more inches to your height? Did she offer to use her magic to make your dad proud of you?"

That made me defensive. "Oh, like witches never get tempted by the idea of magic that can solve their problems?"

She let out a long, deep, despairing sigh. "Of course witches do, Matt. It's just an entirely different set of insecurities, and generally, we have the sense not to let supernatural creatures go meddling around in our psyche to fix them." She made a sweeping gesture. "My apartment is a lot nicer than most college students, and it's not because I'm rich at 22. But I haven't asked a gorgon to make me tighter. Or... I don't know... to make me the best in the world at giving blowjobs, or whatever."

She was silent for a moment. "Not that I'm insecure about that, to be clear," she added.

I couldn't tell if she was joking, serious, or what, but it didn't seem like the time to ask a follow up question about it. "Look, I... it was dumb, okay? I know, I'm sorry," I muttered, feeling stupid.

She sighed. "Okay, okay. It was a mistake, I get it. Everybody makes them... this is just... not what I was expecting to deal with, this morning."

I nodded, sadly.

She took a breath. "So, now. First things first: Are you sure that's really what happened?"

I looked at her, confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, she told you you can only orgasm for her. Are you sure that's really true? Have you, y'know...?" She trailed off and pantomimed jerking off with one hand.

I shook my head, slowly. I turned my attention inward. I felt fatigued, drained, yes, but there was no sense of anything stopping me, no barrier or mental block or... anything at all that felt different, to indicate that I wouldn't be able to get to completion.

"I... I feel a little depleted, but otherwise just like I usually do," I said, uncertainly.

Viv nodded. "Okay. So let's test it." She moved over to sit next to me on the couch. "Get it out."

I paused. "Are you offering to help, or should I just..."

Viv sucked in a breath. "I am, admittedly, pretty annoyed right now, Matt. Why don't you just get it out and... okay, uh, wow." She stopped, staring in stunned silence.

I had realized it was a dumb question halfway through asking it, and pulled down my pants. Viv had seen it already anyway.

I had forgotten that, actually, she hadn't seen it. Not the way it was since last night. Even flaccid, my cock was thicker, longer.

"You, um... yeah, okay, I'm starting to believe you," she murmured, still staring.

"Uh... what do you mean?" I wasn't sure whether she liked it, didn't like it, or what.

"It, uh... it looks good, Matt. Really good. I mean, I thought you had a nice cock before, and now it's..." she trailed off, watching me touch myself.

Well, the way she was staring, the taken-aback reaction, the rapt attention, was pretty hot. I got hard rapidly as I fondled myself.

I paused for a moment, glancing at her as I got more or less fully erect.

I didn't say anything, but she responded as if I had. "Okay, I'll help," she said. She reached out one hand and started caressing it.

Her hand felt good, like Viv's ministrations always did. I got rock hard.

She glanced up at me, her blue eyes meeting mine. "Anything feel, um... different? Weird or bad?"

I was enjoying the sensations; if anything, it felt better than usual, just as Elana had said it might. More nerve endings. I just shook my head at Viv. "No, your hand feels really good."

"You're, um... really thick, now." She bit her lip, staring down at my cock, the way her hand wrapped around it.

I figured the less this felt like a science experiment, the more likely I was to actually have an orgasm. I leaned over in her ear and murmured, "Am I going to be too thick for you?"

"I, uh... I dunno, actually." She looked intimidated.

I'll be honest with you: in general, I felt pretty angry with Elana.

I wasn't completely sure, but it certainly seemed likely that she'd tricked me, taken advantage of my trust to trap my power for her own uses.

But in that moment, being unable to use my power didn't matter in the slightest. I silently thanked Elana.

My length twitched in Viv's hand; with its thickness, it felt more like it was flexing than twitching. I saw her stare down at the movement.

Viv. Intimidated. By my cock.

"I'd be very gentle," I murmured, an enormous, shit-eating grin forming on my face.

My attitude seemed to snap her out of it. "Yeah, yeah. Let's try what you seem to like the most, huh?"

She knelt in front of me and pulled off her tank top. She was wearing a little black sports bra underneath. I didn't know whether it just wasn't meant to provide that much coverage, or whether it was just her proportions, but her tits were barely contained, spilling out of it. I stared at the shelf of appealingly tan cleavage.

She grasped my cock firmly, and nestled the thick, blunt head at the top of her cleavage, slowly pumping the shaft.

God. I let out a groan, looking down at the sight of the bulbous tip of my cock, the sensation of her soft tits just around the head. Her blue eyes met mine, and she smirked. "Well, I'm glad this hasn't changed how much you like my tits."

I shook my head, watching. It had not.

After a moment, she pulled my cock away, inspecting it. "Well, you're staring at my tits just like you always do" she noted, amused and pleased. "And leaking precum all over me. Maybe whatever she was trying to do didn't work."

"Yeah, it feels... you feel... the same..." I said it uncertainly. I didn't feel like I was about to cum -- but it felt incredible. Just like it had the other times Viv and I had done this.

As I spoke, she grasped my length with one hand and started rubbing the head of my cock against her tits, up and down the valley between her breasts. I was leaking even more, now, but it was hard to say whether it was different than it had been previously; she'd always had me making a mess of her cleavage right away.

"Fuck, your cock really is so big, now. It even feels heavier," she marveled.

"God, your skin feels good," I said, staring as she smeared my precum all over her cleavage.

"Yeah? I haven't even started yet." Some of Viv's typical confidence was returning. She glanced up at me, the sparkle in her eyes all mischief, now.

She pulled the band at the bottom of her bra out, slightly, and slid my cock up, in between her tits.

I groaned at the sensation. The sports bra was pushing her tits together, creating a tight little channel of cleavage. Her tits were squeezed around my thick shaft, tight enough that she had to work to get it up between them.

I was longer, now, too. Long enough for the blunt head of my cock to appear from the valley created by her big tits, not quite jabbing her in the chin.

She glanced down at my cock, enveloped by her cleavage, then back up to make eye contact with me. "Oh my god, you're poking out from between my tits," she whispered, disbelief in her voice.

It was enough that my cock twitched, and more precum beaded on the tip. She pulled her tits up my length and then back down again, looking up into my eyes for a reaction as that precum too became more lubrication for my thick shaft.

I groaned. God. I could feel myself getting closer to cumming. I wasn't thinking about gorgons, or the deal I'd made, or anything else like that anymore. I was focused on the sight of those big tits mashed around my cock, the way the soft skin, slick with precum, felt as it slid up and down my shaft.

Smirk on her face, she started picking up speed. "Do you like it too, Matt? The way that big dick looks popping out from between my tits every time I stroke down your cock?"

I just nodded and groaned again. She was going fast, now, and the compression created by the sports bra made the sensation intense.

As she continued, I began to notice something, though.

It felt incredible. I was horny as hell, and I wanted nothing more than to blow a load between her tits.

But I had the nagging sensation of something being... just not quite right. Like when you're jerking off and you realize you don't have quite enough lubrication -- or a little too much lube, maybe. When you're getting a blowjob, and it's good, but there's just the hint of teeth, just enough to be distracting. When the angle doesn't feel quite right. That sort of thing.

There wasn't anything specific I could put my finger on -- like always, Viv's pace, the sensations, everything was perfect.

But this wasn't going to get me off. I was certain of it.

Viv seemed to realize something was shifting, too. She pursed her lips into a pout. "Don't you want to cum on my big tits, Matt? Really cover them? I mean, we need to know if you've got a bigger load too, to go with that big dick..."

She batted her big blue eyes up at me, coquettishly.

Her eyes. I suddenly fixated on them. Blue was nice. Her eyes were pretty.

Really pretty.

But they weren't deep brown wells I could drown in. They didn't hold ancient secrets. Couldn't pull me under, envelop me. I couldn't sink into them, lose myself---

Oh, no.

I cut off that train of thought, but a horrified feeling had taken hold in my gut that was hard to ignore.

There must've been some shift in my expression or my body language, because I saw a flicker of uncertainty on Viv's face, and a moment later, she pulled away.

"I want you to fuck me." There was something in her voice that I hadn't heard from her before.

"Are you sure?" I recalled the earlier intimidated look on her face.

"Oh yes." The words were full of need, arousal -- and a strange, fixated determination. She slipped my length out from under the band of her bra, and stared up at me, still kneeling in front of me. "Put that big dick in me."

Well, admittedly, that did a lot to dispel the bad feeling I had. I didn't need to be told twice.

I picked her up and threw her down on the couch, and then unceremoniously stripped her shorts off her before climbing atop her on the couch.

"Slow, like you said." Viv still sounded determined, if a little intimidated, again.

I didn't respond. It was, admittedly, taking every thing I had not to just shove my massive length into her in one thrust. I was so turned on, now, so consumed by the need to cum.

But I did slow myself down. Teased her, with just the head of my cock, the way I had before.

"Oh god, Matt..." she whimpered the words out, feeling me against her.

"Fuck," I muttered. She felt so tight. She had felt good before, but now...

I wasn't sure I'd fit.

But again -- that wasn't about to stop me from trying.

Slowly, ever so slowly -- I eased inside her. She was wet -- I was surprised by just how wet. It was the only reason this was working.

"Ah -- oh my god, you're so thick, it's filling me up, oh fuck," she moaned.

"God, you feel so good..." I whispered the words in her ear. I could feel her hands, clutching at my back as my thick length went further and further into her.

And then I bottomed out, impaling her.

After a long pause, staring down into her eyes, I back my length out, then slid it back in, starting to fuck her.

She let out a monosyllabic, broken series of words. "Ah -- yes -- fuck -- Matt -- oh --"

I began slow, but was rapidly picking up the pace. My gaze shifted from her eyes down to the bronze skin of her tits. She arched her back, putting those big tits on display for me. With each of my thrusts, they bounced appealingly.

I reached down, palming one of them.

Viv met my gaze. There was something submissive in her eyes, now. She looked away and down, at where my cock was now pistoning in and out of her. Each of my thrusts was greeted with the same word, like a chant. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, oh, yes," she moaned.

Fuck. This was so hot. Maybe I could cum. I brought my other hand to her tits as I continued pumping in and out of her, tweaking one of her nipples.

She froze. I felt her tense up. She was still staring down at my cock.

I slowed a little in spite of myself, concerned. She wasn't saying anything, and I was worried I'd hurt her, that maybe I'd been too rough --

"Matt. I'm -- I'm gonna cum. Oh god, I'm gonna cum so hard for you. I'm -- I'm gonna --"

Her voice was urgent, rising, and by the end of the sentence, barely coherent.

Now, look. I haven't told you much about my sex life before this; I started the story with that first date with Lauren. But I assure you, those words -- from just about anyone, let alone a woman as hot as Viv -- would have been enough to bring me to an explosive, monumental orgasm.

This time, they didn't.

Don't get me wrong, that was hot to hear, hot as hell. I could feel that I was close. But I kept pounding into her, chasing my own orgasm that seemed to be just out of reach.

While I did, I was looking down into her eyes. Eyes that were bright blue, sparkling with arousal and desire and need in this moment, instead of mischief.

Eyes that weren't dark voids, threatening to pull me in, to take me under.

"Yeah? Cum for me, then." It felt like the appropriate thing to say, so I said it. I wanted her to cum, obviously. But the sensation as I looked in her eyes was disquieting. Something was wrong; I just couldn't quite get there, myself.

Even as I spoke, her body tensed further, and she let out a series of long, shuddering, wordless cries. I could feel her convulsing, cumming hard around me.

It felt incredible, the way she lost control of her body, spasming underneath me.

But not incredible enough to send me over the edge.

Eventually, she went limp, panting, hiding her face in my shoulder again, clutching me to her.

I kept going. I was close. I knew I was close.

But in my heart, I also knew that if I hadn't finished yet, I wasn't going to. And with each shudder of her body as I thrust into her, her whimpers grew more pronounced.

"Ah -- Matt, I'm -- unh -- really sensitive, now... I-I need a break..." Viv whispered the words, in between my thrusts.

I felt a sense of helpless frustration. I stopped, of course, pulling myself out of her. I realized that I was panting, breathing hard from fucking her.

But I hadn't finished. And my thick, rock hard length, glistening in the light, wanted a finish. Wanted to keep going.

I tried to put it out of my mind, looking down at Viv. Her ponytail had started to come undone, wisps of blonde hair escaping. She was flushed, breathing hard, but had a contented smile on her face as she looked down at my body.

It took Viv a minute or two to recover before she looked up into my eyes. "Wow. That was... that was... just, um. Wow. Fuck." There was surprised satisfaction in her voice.

I smiled, still catching my breath. "I'm... I'm glad. That was so hot. You're so hot. Damn, Viv."

And that was true... but I felt extremely conflicted about the situation, now.

On the one hand: I really did feel like a goddamn stud. I had never performed that way with a woman before, not in my life. Not even close. And certainly not a woman like Viv.

On the other: it still felt like I could cum. Wanted to cum. Needed to cum. Felt like I was reasonably close to cumming, even still, right now. I just couldn't seem to get there. But my body was sending all the right signals, as if just a bit more would finish me off. I was half-tempted to head into Viv's bathroom to jack off for a bit, even though I knew that it wouldn't actually work. If Viv underneath me, moaning about how hard my cock was going to make her cum, hadn't been enough to get me off, my hand certainly wasn't going to finish the job.

I knew what it meant. The experiment was over. Results were in.

There was only one person I could cum for, now.

If she even was a person. That unsettled, disquieted feeling took hold in my gut again.

Viv was clearly thinking some the same things I was, because she now looked conflicted too. "I mean... if that didn't get you off... I think you probably do have an actual, serious, magical problem, Matt."

I had to agree with her. And, weighing the scales -- one of the best sexual performances of my life on one side, but my orgasms and magical power on the other -- I was left feeling like the trade... hadn't been worth it.

This is bad.

"So what do I do?" I looked at her, hopefully.

"I don't know..." Viv said, concerned. "It depends on what she actually did to you. We'll need to find out what that is... and like I said, I don't know enough about gorgons..."

"Can... can Lauren do some research or something? I mean, she was able to reshape my cock... it must give some clues as to what she's capable of, right?" I offered, hesitantly. Admittedly, since I hadn't finished, I was half-hoping that Viv would glance back down at my cock -- which was still hard -- and get excited again.

Viv just nodded, slowly. "Yeah, but there are all different kinds of magic that can achieve the same effect..."

"What about the lions? Could they help?" It was impossible not to think of Brooke. In my current state, I'd show her. I felt my cock twitch at the thought.

Viv just looked thoughtful. "We'd have to be careful -- they can't know that your power is locked away, they might renegotiate the truce. We'd have to think about how we, y'know... present the problem to them..."

I was silent, and after a moment she just sighed, and shook her head. "I don't know. I could try some kind of summoning, but it'd be hard to muster the power without your power."

"Well, fuck." This had been a mistake. I stewed in my frustrated arousal as we sat in silence a moment. I wanted to ask her to get me off... but intellectually, I knew she couldn't.

"Yeah, this is going to be a real problem. I'm... not really sure what to do, if I'm honest." Viv sighed. "I have to think about it."

"... I mean you liked it though, right? Even though you didn't get power from it?" I said the words hesitantly, a little embarrassed to be even asking that.

She pinched her brow again. "Dammit, Matt. Yes, I had a good time. That was incredible. But I've told you -- you had a nice dick to begin with. It wasn't worth losing control of your power just to get a bigger cock."

I sighed. I wanted to be more focused on solving the problem, but the truth was, I was so horny that it was difficult to think. I was so distracted by not getting to finish. I was trying to tamp down my sexual appetite, but I found myself staring down at her tits, recalling the way they'd been bouncing as I thrust into her...

I glanced back up at her face.

She was staring at me, lips pursed, and shaking her head. "It's my mistake. This never would've happened if I'd been more involved. I should've been keeping you on a tighter leash."

The sheepish, horny despair I was feeling all but vanished in the space of an instant. "I'm sorry, what did you just say?" I pulled away from her, standing up.

She didn't seem to notice, continuing. "I've just been letting you run around doing whatever you like, trying to give you space to make your own choices and decisions, to explore your power. But it's not safe for you. I mean, look what's happened. I should have kept you--"

I cut her off. "Stop. Do not finish that sentence." Exhaustion and sexual frustration faded into the background; I was simply livid, now.

All of the suspicions and worries I'd been harboring yesterday were suddenly front and center of my mind.

I was just a means to an end for her.

She just looked at me, taken aback.

"A tighter leash? I'm not your fucking pet, Viv," I spat out. "I'm a person. I'm sorry that your battery is out of commission. Gah. That's what this has always been about for you. The power I can give you."

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. She opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off again.

"But that's always bothered you, hasn't it? You didn't want to tell me what a thaumaturge was. It was inconvenient when I learned on my own, instead of just letting you drain me without ever knowing. And now I've made it even more inconvenient for you."

More bitter sarcasm crept into my voice. "Well, I'm so sorry for all the inconveniences. I guess you'll need to find someone else. Good luck swiping on that dating app that Lauren enchanted for you all. Maybe she can add another filter for you; make sure the next thaumaturge is nice and compliant."

"Matt..."

I could hear the contrition in her voice, but I wasn't interested. I gave her a sardonic smile. "Speaking of, don't worry about talking to Lauren about this; I'll ask her directly if she can help me. Wouldn't want to inconvenience you. I'll talk to Clint myself, too. Hell, maybe I'll just ask Elana for ideas. Even she didn't talk about putting me on a shorter leash." I turned away, started pulling on clothes as rapidly as I could.

"Wait. Matt, wait, please. I'm sorry." Her voice was small, desperate.

I was still furious, but there was something in her tone that I hadn't heard from Viv.

Fear.

It was enough to slow me down. I glanced up from tying my shoelaces to look at her.

"I'm... I'm sorry." She took a deep breath. "I'm responsible for the coven and its allies. You're an ally, now. Or I hope that you are. I want you to be. And the truth is... we need allies, Matt. Badly. Like I was saying yesterday: it's just Lauren and me, and that's not nearly enough. Clint and his lions won't keep the truce going forever if it's just the two of us. It'll go from helping them maintain their totem to full-on extortion. It's a short step from there to the two of us just doing whatever they want."

She paused, looking scared. "So I'm sorry I said that about the leash. I don't want a leash either. With you, we stand a fighting chance of... starting to carve out something for ourselves. Making our own path. Freedom. We need you. Come on, Matt. We can figure this out. Together."

I nodded my understanding, my mouth a thin, sardonic line.

It all made sense. Was perfectly rational. She was afraid -- afraid that without me, she'd have her own leash.

But when she said she needed me, what she meant -- what she still meant -- was that she needed my power. This was just the reason she needed it.

And that wasn't what I wanted to hear.

"Bye, Viv."

I left.

---

I walked away from her apartment towards my morning engineering class, mulling over my next step. I had most of the afternoon free, but I wasn't exactly sure what to do.

The class was boring, but admittedly, even if it had been interesting, I was distracted by my predicament.

And by my phone.

Viv tried calling twice. I ignored the calls. I'd said everything I had to say. I'd given her a chance to explain herself, and she had. What else was there to talk about? How many different ways did I need to hear her explain that she only cared about me for my power?

She texted me, too.

Viv: Matt, I'm sorry. Please call me.

I didn't reply to that either.

Then Lauren texted me.

Lauren: She didn't mean it that way, Matt.

I rolled my eyes, thinking about what Viv must've told her, trying to get Lauren to coax me back. I thought about ignoring her, too, but I decided -- as I stared at my phone that she'd enchanted, thinking about how much she'd told me, the way she'd helped me with the werelions -- that lumping her in with Viv wasn't fair.

And I needed help from somebody. So I started texting her back.

Matt: I know exactly how she meant it.

Lauren: She's worried about you. So am I, now.

Matt: She's just worried because her power source isn't accessible.

Lauren: No, she's worried because you were a known thaumaturge for five whole minutes before someone else locked your power away under their control. And the someone else is a gorgon. We want you to be safe and what's happening now isn't safe at all.

She had a point. But that wasn't what Viv had said, and I was in no mood to be reasoned with.

Matt: Lauren, please don't try to defend her. A tighter leash? She's probably just mad she didn't learn this gorgon trick and do it first.

Lauren: I get it, alright? It's not what I would've said, I'm not trying to say it was ok. What are you going to do now?

Matt: See who else will help me.

Lauren: Look, I can do some research on this, but it'll take a little time and I don't want you to get impatient. At least let me at least take a look at you before you talk to anyone else. And there's an artifact at the library that might be illuminating. Will you come by the library later?

Matt: OK. But Viv can't be there.

Lauren: Message received, no Viv. Come by any time after noon.

---

The rest of class was boring. I did a little homework afterwards, but my heart wasn't in it. I was too distracted. The only thing I could think about -- besides how mad I was at Viv -- was how, in spite of how hot this morning with Viv had been, I hadn't gotten off.

Thinking about it, predictably, just turned me on... which was just an exercise in frustration since I knew I wouldn't be able to get myself off.

Maybe I should just go see Elana. She'd get me off.

That thought stopped me in my tracks.

The rapidity with which my libido and rational thought both arrived at the same conclusion -- in spite of what Elana had done to me -- was a little shocking.

It was scary how tempting it was. How good I knew it'd feel, to look into those eyes. Maybe she'd take her glasses off again, let me lose myself in her while she touched me...

I shook the fantasy away, but it kept coming back. My body knew what it needed, even if, intellectually, I knew there was a very good chance Elana had orchestrated this deliberately.

By the time the afternoon arrived and I went over to the library, I was beginning to feel a little crazy.

---

Lauren looked up as I approached the special collections desk. "Hey." She gave me a small smile. A little sad.

"Hi, Lauren." I returned the small smile.

She was giving me an inquisitive, thorough once-over. "You look... kind of strung out, Matt."

I grimaced. "Something's definitely wrong, Lauren. Viv told you, um... what happened?"

"You mean after she stopped sobbing and telling me about how she said the wrong thing and fucked everything up again, just like she always does?" Lauren wasn't... accusatory, not exactly. Not quite.

I opened my mouth, then hesitated. I wasn't sure if I wanted to ask what that was referring to. Wasn't sure if I wanted to talk about Viv. I wanted to know what Lauren thought, but if Lauren defended her, I wasn't sure I was going to stick around.

So I didn't say anything, just raised an eyebrow.

After a moment, Lauren just rolled her eyes and kept talking. "No, she didn't tell me in specifics, no. But I gather the two of you confirmed that you can't easily, y'know..."

I just nodded.

Her lips compressed. "Not good. Okay, come on, come with me."

I followed her as she led us back into the stacks to the same special collections room. She glanced back at me curiously a few times, as we walked. "You're not giving off any obviously detectable auras or energies or anything," she noted.

"Should I be?"

She shrugged. "Sometimes. Not always. If it's something more mental than physical, it'd be harder to detect. But things like curses or banes are generally visible to a practitioner like me. This must be something else."

She opened the door and we went into the room. She turned to look at me, thoughtfully.

"So... you wanted to give me a once-over, right?"

"Yeah. I'll do that. Look, Matt..." Her voice turned earnest. "... is there any chance I can persuade you to wait a few days before you go negotiate with a pride of lions, or try to bargain with a gorgon to fix you or whatever the hell you're quietly cooking up? I want to help, I just need time to do some research."

I thought about days, laboring under the kind of unfulfillable arousal I was feeling now.

I'd go insane. I'd be knocking on Elana's door just to get some relief before then, whether I wanted to or not.

"I, uh... I think I need to try to fix this faster than that, Lauren," I said, a little sheepishly. "It's... pretty distracting." God, I was horny. And all I could think of was that Elana could help.

"Okay... I think maybe I should show you this artifact first, then," she said, slowly. "We might learn something."

"Okay?"

She walked over to the large desk in the corner -- the one that was dusty, piled high with magical artifacts. She pulled out another set of keys, and opened one of the locked drawers. Inside I got a glimpse of a jumble of odds and ends: a set of brass knuckles; a twisted piece of bone or maybe horn; an ornate, iron chalice or goblet.

She ignored all of those. What she pulled out was a mirror. Bigger than a hand mirror, but smaller than the sort of thing that was intended to be hung on the wall -- it had a stand, so that it might sit on top of a dresser or next to your bathroom sink and let you put on makeup, or do your hair, or shave. She pulled it out, set it on top of the desk, and beckoned me over to sit in the chair next to her.

I did so, looking at the mirror warily. It was rectangular, cracked in a few places around the edges. Looked old. Scrawling, odd script ran around the frame, but the letters weren't Latin characters, or Greek, or any other script I recognized.

The glass itself -- aside from the few cracks -- was absolutely, flawlessly clear. So disconcertingly clear that it looked like you were seeing through a window instead of looking at a reflection.

"This is the Mirror of Misfortunes," Lauren said, her cadence taking on a slightly academic, professorial tone. "Although it's had other names over the years. It's been around a long time. We keep it locked away because every use depletes it. We aren't exactly sure, but it must be nearly fully depleted at this point -- it wasn't always this cracked. And -- based on what it does -- replenishing its magic probably requires doing something pretty awful. So we try not to use it except in emergencies."

Well, that was sufficiently ominous. "So... what does it do?"

"It shows you a possible version of the future. A version where things always go badly. Honestly, the end outcome is not that interesting -- it always ends really badly, always -- so don't put stock in that. What's interesting is that it shows you how things might go horribly wrong, and that sometimes in the course of things going horribly wrong, you learn other interesting things."

She looked at me, expectantly.

I hesitated. "So what... are you expecting me to do with it?"

"Well, you said you were thinking about asking someone for help."

She glanced at the mirror, and then -- very carefully -- set it so that it was face down on the desk. "To use the mirror to show you a future, simply stare at your own reflection in it, and make a 'What if...' statement. Gotta be future tense. Then it shows you a possible future; a future in which that statement is what you do."

"A 'what if' statement?"

"Yeah. 'What if I drop out of college and go to live in Tibet for a year instead?' or... in your case, maybe it's 'What if I go back to that gorgon and tried to get her to undo what she's done to me?'"

I mulled that over for a moment. "And then it just... plays it on the mirror? Like a movie?"

"It'll feel a little more immersive than that for you, but I'll see and hear things from your perspective, yeah."

I considered.

What future to ask about?

It seemed to me that there were a number of options, and Lauren made it sound like I should probably pick the one that might be most helpful in illuminating the situation.

Diana? It did occur to me that this would mean revealing to Lauren that she was back around, and I'd been talking to her -- a fact I hadn't shared with her, to this point.

The werelions?

Iris or Camilla?

Elana herself?