Letter from Homewrecker

Catherine,

Since I'm going to try and be sincere, I preferred to start my letter without 'dear'. As a woman, I can assume that I can relate to what you think or feel. I can understand why you hate me or use slang labels when mentioning me to your friends. To you, I'm the young 'put your label here' that seduced your husband months ago. Benefiting from that youth and energy you lack, it had to be easy for 'any girl' like me to confuse him, so it wasn't about 'me', 'I' didn't matter. You are having a rough time after 22 years of 'established' marriage, which had its own stabilized course till death parts you. Until some 'label here' came and ruined it all, right? No. Not right. Colin is a decent, handsome man, who works his ass off to do his part in life. I'm not saying you work less; I'm talking about him only.

He never cheated on you during your marriage. In case you're not paying attention, I'm going to write it again, a few times more. Because I know you blamed him for sleeping around. Here it goes: He never cheated on you during your marriage. He never cheated on you during your marriage. He never cheated on you during your marriage.

He reserved most of his out-of-work time for you. To do the things he thought you liked. He didn't complain, he just thought that was the right thing to do. He skipped meetings with friends, he neglected his pub routines. Not that you asked him to, he thought he would be stealing time from you. Before writing about me and him, I will continue to write about him and your marriage, the way I see. This part can be annoying for you, since it involves your personal life and privacy as well. Sorry about it but Colin and I had been confidants for a period and he shared a lot with me.

Such as your first anniversary. Do you remember the white shirt, brown skirt and brown-maroon nylons he bought you? In addition to the Cartier watch you always admired? What did you think when you got those gifts? That he thought you might need them in the future? That he didn't want you to have trouble if you needed a brown skirt one day? You guessed wrong. He didn't buy them for you to wear one by one only once in the following three years. Back then, he thought your legs were gorgeous, he knows better now. He wanted to see you in those clothes. If that wasn't the case, why would he ask you to put them on when you were going to pub with your friends the next week? He lost his will to buy you such sexy - sexy to him - clothes. Well done.

If he buys me such gifts... Wait, since we are sincere here, let me rephrase it. When he buys me such gifts, he will see me in those in the next occasion. Why? Because I will know he wants to see me like that. And I can't get enough of his loving eyes on me. I will make sure he will keep on buying me such gifts. Do I need to look like the way he wants? For him to look at me in desire? No. If that had been the case, I wouldn't wear them. But if he already can't look away from me, not wearing them means 'I don't care what you like'.

In your first two years, have you noticed some changes? For example, when you got off the shower, he kept telling you how incredible your hair looked, in its natural, untied, unattended way. He liked your natural looks. Not more than your usual looks, just the same. But he liked to see your hair like that time to time. Did you notice how his compliments about your hair ceased in time? You must have. Because he thought this compliment annoyed you. Do you know why? Because right after he told you that, you always tied your hair in the following five minutes. Well done.

You can guess how I would react to such compliments; it's no different from that brown skirt situation.

Whenever he had a morning glory and tried to get playful with you when you woke up, it was a good tactic to tell him to stop it, that you had to brush your teeth beforehand. Spending time in there more than fifteen minutes, to make sure he already assumed that you were 'kindly' rejecting his attempts. Maybe you didn't notice he stopped doing it, but, he noticed how you stopped brushing your teeth first thing in the morning. Well done.

The best part of morning glory is that, it's spontaneous. Couples do not care if the other one has bad breath at such a time. If I worry that I have bad breath, I "won't" let him kiss me, without disheartening or discouraging him. I "will" make use of that morning wood and that animalistic enthusiasm came with it. Of course, if I won't be the one who's chasing him in bed in the morning.

He wanted you to play tennis with him. He told you he would gladly teach you and turn those days to outdoor leisure times or even to picnics afterwards. When he felt your reaction in disdain, he came with other alternatives. Scuba diving, biking, trail running, jogging in the park. Then he thought that you didn't want to be the novice one in such activities. So, he suggested that you both could learn to play guitar or find an aikido course. He even joked about finding a ninjutsu instructor, so you both could wear black tights at night and fight crime as the ninja-couple. You didn't even laugh at that joke, since you were focused on discouraging him from such opinions. Instead, you ended up meeting with married couples for brunch or coffee. In time, he stopped proposing to find something you could do together, without anyone else. He gave up seeking ways to have your routines as a couple. Well done.

I already made my list of activities we will do together. I won't ask his opinion. I'm not like him. I don't let things find its own way where it matters. If I want something, I get it. Maybe I can let him choose from my list. I know how this sounds. I'll get there.

After your tenth year, you caught him watching porn. He was embarrassed too much; you didn't even need to say those words to him that day. But you couldn't stop. In a week, he suggested you two watched them together and got scolded big time once again. He couldn't even fathom how you would react if he mentioned about his fantasies. How he wanted to play a dominant wife fantasy once in a while. He didn't even think of finding an escort to satisfy his curiosities. He kept watching such porn videos in secret. His most perverted fantasy was to be under the dinner table as you watched porn, giving the woman he loved, 'his dominant wife' pleasure, in the way you only let him do prior to sex for half a minute. He wanted to go down on you and you deprived him of that. If only he had enough perversion in his soul, he could see this deprivation as part of such fantasies. But he ended up fantasizing about pleasuring you like that when he played with himself in the bathroom. This didn't last long; he stopped thinking about you when he masturbated. Well done.

I won't tell you what I "will" make him do, under my dinner table. It's private.

I guess you got the main idea. I won't talk about you spending hours on your phone, watching TV, until he gave up trying to share that life with you.

About how we met. I wrote a few erotic stories just for fun. Not that I'm an 'insatiable slut', If I'm not wrong, that was one of my nicknames you gave, right? Or someone who has plans to be a writer. I did it just because I like fantasies. And, Colin wrote that comment in one of my stories: "Hot and scary. Like a gate to a beautiful doom for a decent man, coming from a beautiful and scary mind. Not in a bad way, I just tried to compliment, thanks for this story." When I read it, it stood out among other comments. Like it hid many sensations in this short message. It had that subtle sorrow, misery in it. There was also yearning for things.

And, this person had a 'decent man' profile in his mind, which told him it would be his doom to be the main character of this story, in a 'beautiful way'. It was interesting that he was the only one found that doom beautiful. I got backlash from others for portraying the woman a bit too selfish and insensitive with her lover. They pitied the guy. Colin read the same story and that was his take from it. After a few back and forth, I shared my email with him. He wrote that he was married and it would be misunderstood if he talked to me in private. I didn't push him but he kept coming back, wandering under my stories. Until that day, he didn't send me an email.

'That day' is the day you know. The day he opened up to you. That he wasn't done with life yet. That you were comfortably assuming he would silently sit and wait in the coffin you put him alive. And he asked you to put some effort to revive your marriage, to make it vivid again. He even told you that it didn't have to be about sex, that he felt lonely. You preferred to dig up your mental archives to find something to criticize him in return. Instead of talking about the subject, you diverted it. Well done.

That day he sent me his first email. Telling me that he would be glad to share with someone. I still believe that all he wanted was to talk to someone who wouldn't judge him about what he thought. He wasn't after some action or an affair. He shared, I read. I didn't want to make many comments but in a few weeks, I realized that he was indeed a decent man. I told him to meet me at a cafe, he hesitated. I didn't push it. But he wrote to me the next day and we met. I can guess the fight he gave not to. That was the moment he met his beautiful doom. The moment your marriage had no chance. Not that I had such plans but his expression told me that it would be my decision to let your marriage survive or not.

You should have seen his face when he saw me. He wasn't expecting to find a 24 year-old woman there. He had no idea what I looked like. He still can't stop talking about how his heart almost stopped when he first saw me. Yeah, I'm not just beautiful and sexy. I'm also pretty as a button. I'm that beautiful doom's gatekeeper. Do you believe in love at first sight? He does now. Me? I still don't believe such things. But I liked what I saw. Starting from that day, he increased his efforts to get my attention, my interest. Then, he got out of his shell and helplessly started to do his best to convince me. First, he tried hard to get a second date. Not that I didn't want to, I just had second thoughts about dating a married man. He succeeded when he wrote how he felt that he was left alone in his marriage.

Then, he convinced me that he wasn't just a sad, broken man. His motivation to feel alive surprised me. When I encouraged him a bit, his humorous side appeared. He got me laughing in the most unexpected moments. While I was with him, I realized that my motivation to feel alive was amplified too. He didn't have to teach me tennis. I'm already good at it. I was surprised to see he looked hot when he was in sweat like that. Sadly, his technique wasn't enough to save him from getting crushed by me. That was another milestone. His motivation increased that day; I guess he found this hot. I guess his dominant wife fantasy is only the tip of a very naughty iceberg. I like that in a man, I'm a loving but dominant 'young' woman. I would only appreciate a mature, handsome, successful man's devotion to me. When we spend time together, he can't look away from me. I'm using this expression the second time because this is how he described his mood in your first years of marriage, about you. Until he decided that you didn't want his eyes on you that much. This isn't just sad, it's pathetic. On your side. Well done, really...

He made a mistake on the way. Told me about that fantasy of his. Since that day, I'm making it harder for him to convince me to anything. Not like you do, of course. I want him to convince me. He sees the carrot; I like to see him trying to reach it. In other words, I want him under my desk or table, as I said. He already sensed this will happen in his future. I just don't know if he has an idea where this may lead him to. But, since he's a fan of my stories, I guess he's got a stomach-cramping hunch about it. See? With the given motivation, he managed to convince me to many things until last month, except one.

As a reminder: He never cheated on you during your marriage.

He didn't even try to hold my hand. Until last month. Until he divorced you. Now? I told you, it's none of your business. It's personal. But, I can say that we both like that game of 'convincing me'. So, in the process of convincing me to sleep with him, he got carried away, acted a bit hastily. Moved forward too fast, giving away all his bargaining chips. I like how he chose to become this vulnerable to me. He used all his guns, pressed all buttons. Including proposing me. He convinced me to that. It wasn't easy for him but my answer was always a yes. He just had to try hard to hear it. And, I can say that he won't regret it. So don't fool yourself thinking that he made a mistake.

I met many of his friends too. Most of them like me very much. Some of them are envy Colin, I can see that. They like to talk to me. And, I hear that you're using the word 'Homewrecker' about me. I may just let them think like that for a while. I'm sure many of them fantasize about being snatched from their marriages by 'young' women like me. In fact, I would get great pleasure from saying that I am your homewrecker and gloat on snatching your husband from your bed. In such a short time. How I turned your husband of 22 years to my puppy. That's not true but about the puppy part, he's getting there.

As I said, I won't say such things. Because you don't deserve to cleanse yourself of your sins. To me, you're the homewrecker of your own marriage and I am his savior.

I don't want to hear you gossip about me again. Or, I will share my thoughts with the messengers as well.

P. S. You're not invited to my wedding.

Sandy xxx