My Sister Figured Me Out Pt. 01

This is the first chapter of a longer story. There's no sex in Part 1, but it is short and it sets up the story and the main characters. Don't skip it!

Part 2 should also release at the same time as this one and that one does get naughty.

PS: This is my second attempt at a story, so still very eager to get feedback, good or bad.

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"Hey, Alex, are you awake?" I heard my sister's voice from behind my bedroom door.

"No!"

"Don't lie to me. I'm coming in."

"No, don't!" I almost screamed at her, but then I saw the door opening, so I pulled the duvet up to my neck so no inch of my body was visible. "Andi, what are you doing here? Get out!" I whisper screamed at her, but she continued to make her way to my bed and finally sat down on it so I turned on my bedside lamp.

"Watchudoin, little bro?" she asked in a sing-song tone.

"I'm sleeping."

"No, you're not, you answered immediately when I asked if you were awake. Besides, it's 9:30, what are you, sick or something?"

"I have a big test tomorrow. Chemistry."

"You love chemistry. You'll be fine. You can talk to me for half an hour, can't you? We never really talk anymore, not for a long time now."

She was right, we didn't really talk. I mean, we didn't hate each other, or ignore each other, but we never talked about anything real, it was all just polite chit chat. "How's the weather?" type conversations. When we were kids we were inseparable, but as we moved into puberty, we drifted apart. We had different personalities, different interests. She had been a popular girl in high school, I was such a nerd that I was almost a caricature. She liked girly, pretty clothes, she liked going to parties with her friends, she liked boys, whereas me, I liked... Well, see, this was the problem, I could never talk to her about what I liked. I just couldn't.

She was 20 now, going to college in our city, so she was still living at home to save money. Actually, I'm sure she would've loved to live in a dorm, but our parents were using the money excuse to keep a tight eye on her, just as they were soon going to do with me. I had just turned 18 and was in my last year of high school and they'd made it pretty clear to me that they would not be paying at all for college in another city, nor would they be paying for a dorm if I went to college here. We were still too young and easy to corrupt. Gosh, I hated them so much.

Even as we were moving into adulthood our relation hadn't improved. I was glad that she was still living at home and that I wasn't the sole focus of my parents' strict rules. But that wasn't the only reason I was glad she was still here. Another one was that I was actually really fond of her. She had grown into an independent woman, which was not easy to do in our home. And she was so full of life and optimism, unlike me, always on the edge of depression. Being around her made me feel that I could also be happy one day, like she always seemed to be, I just had to stop being so darn scared. It's just, I couldn't open myself to her.

"Come on, Alex, scooch over, let me lie down next to you," she said as she gently pushed me towards the wall. I grabbed the duvet with both hands and wrapped it tight around me before making room for her on my bed.

"Why are you here, Andi?"

"Gosh, stop being so aggressive. I just want to talk to you, who knows, maybe we can be friends again. But if you don't want that, I'll leave and never step foot in your bedroom again. And I'll make sure to always keep my door locked so you won't be tempted to step foot into mine." I definitely didn't want that.

"Sorry, I guess I'm being a little resentful. I thought you didn't want to be friends anymore. You hardly spoke to me when we were at school together, you were always with your friends, always sneaking out..."

"And you were always happy that I was the main focus of Dick and Gina's sermons and that I kept them off your back."

"Dick and Gina? You mean mom and dad?"

"Yeah, as soon as I'm out of this house, I'm never calling them that again. And it will take a miracle to get me back here. I'm done with their crap. But I do want to have a relationship with you, I don't want to lose you."

"Thanks. I don't want to lose you either. And I'm done with their crap, as well. I could never be myself in this house. Dick and Gina," I chuckled, "I'm stealing that."

"So what's this big test tomorrow? Chemistry?"

"Yeah, I'm not really worried, I know that stuff inside out." I paused for a moment, wondering if I could really trust her. "Can I tell you something?"

She looked me straight in the eyes and said, "You can tell me anything you want. I promise I will never, never tell anyone your secrets."

OK, here we go. "When I go to college I want to study biochemistry, maybe go into research after I graduate."

"Oh, gosh. Oh, lordy! The devil has gotten it's hooks into our little baby," she said mocking Gina's tone. "What do we say in this house?"

We both said it in unison, "Evolution is a sin towards god." We both chuckled quietly and I know we both felt a little rebellious and also a little scared that they may have heard us. I liked this camaraderie, I wished we had done this sooner.

"I like this. We should have been a common front sooner," she echoed my exact sentiments. "So what exactly is biochemistry? Is it like the part of chemistry that deals with living organisms?"

"Well, actually, biochemistry..."

"Oh, I'm gonna stop you right there. Not because I'm not interested, but because I have some older sibling wisdom to impart. Never ever start a sentence with 'Well, actually.' People won't think you're smart, they'll think you're a dick."

"Yeah, I can see that."

"You should really try to go out more. You're always at home. What do you do all this time alone in the house? Do you just go from room to room and sleep in all the beds? Are you Goldilocks?" She had an amused look about her as she said this.

I didn't say anything.

"When we were kids you were just as friendly as me. I guess you just reacted differently when we became teenagers and all the stupid rules started. If you want, you can come with me when I go out with my girlfriends. Maybe we can get you out of your shell a little. Get to see the real you."

"That would be nice," I said wistfully and Andi put her arm across my chest and gave me a hug. I remained quiet for some time, day dreaming about a nice sunny day, me, and Andi, and her two best friends at a coffee shop, listening to them laughing and gossiping. It was nice to day dream, but it was probably never going to happen.

"I'm getting cold. Let me in under the duvet," Andi said and pulled lightly at the covers.

I instinctively clutched my fists on the duvet and became grinchy again.

"I really should be going to sleep. Maybe we should call it a night."

"I don't want to call it a night. We're just starting to get to know each other again. Don't push me away."

"We can continue tomorrow."

She didn't respond. Instead, she let go of the duvet and placed her palm on my chest.

"Alex, I won't insist if you don't want to let me in. But I just want to say something and please don't react badly when I say it." My eyes grew wide with panic. What was she gonna say?

She took a moment, trying to find her words. The anticipation was killing me. What was she going to say?

"Alex, are you not willing to let me under the covers because you're wearing my white cherry panties?"

"What? No. No! Are you crazy?? Get out! Leave! Get out of here!" my voice was growing louder without me realising it. I felt my heartbeat explode and I wanted to push her off the bed, but my arms were tingling and I had no strength. "Get out of here!"

She held her ground and put some pressure with her palm onto my chest. "Shh. You're screaming. They'll hear us. Be quiet, I don't want them to hear this."

I clenched my teeth to stop yelling, but instead I started groaning uncontrollably. I brought the duvet to my face with my clenched fists. It was hard to breathe and my vision was starting to get blurry.

"Alex. Alex, calm down. I think you're having a panic attack. Take deep breaths. Gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do this. I'm sorry, just try to calm down. Take deep breaths."

I heard her, but I didn't understand her. I was dizzy and spiraling. I couldn't respond to her, no words would come out of my mouth, but inside I was screaming and feeling like I was going to die.

"Look at me. Breathe in. And breathe out. Breathe in. And breathe out." She started doing long deep breaths to guide me and soon I started following her. It took me at least a full minute to gain some measure of control and start to calm down. Andi hugged me again. "I'm so sorry. I didn't think... I shouldn't have said it like this. I'm so sorry. I will never tell them. Never. Just please, calm down." Her eyes had started to well up and I understood she meant what she was saying so I started getting back to normal faster. When I had my breathing under control, I hugged her back and we stayed like that for a while.

"How did you know?" I had never taken anything from her room. Until tonight, that is. I was always careful to put everything back just the way it was. Was that all it took, a pair of missing panties and she had it all figured out? Couldn't they have been lost in the wash?

"I've been suspecting it for a while. And then tonight, when I saw a pair missing, I thought it was the best time to talk to you about it. I'm sorry I sprung it on you like that, I should have thought better. "

"But how? I barely touched anything. And I put everything back the way it was."

"Yes, you did. It wasn't easy to figure it out. But lately my panties started to have... bulges where the... you know, in the front. I don't know if it's because they're too small for you, or... I guess the material started to stretch from your... you know. And then I saw a pair missing and I knew I had just washed them..."

"I am so sorry." My eyes filled with tears and they started running down my cheeks. "I am so sorry. I screwed everything up." We were never going to be friends now. Who would want to be friends with a freak? A nerd, maybe, if he's your brother. But a freak? "I'll never do it again. I promise. Just don't tell mom and dad." I cried still.

"I am not telling them," she said firmly. "Stop saying that. And you didn't screw anything up. It's me who screwed up, I should have found a better way to talk to you."

"I'm such a loser. We'll never be friends now."

"Honey, honestly, I don't care. Really, I don't. What's it to me if you want to wear girl panties?"

"Then why did you bring it up if you don't care?"

"Because that's what normal people do, they talk about things. They don't yell and punish like they do in this house. It took me a while to understand that. Going to my friends' houses, for a long time I thought they were a little odd, until I realised that we were the odd ones.

"I brought it up because I know you had no one to talk to and I can imagine how wrong you must have felt, given our upbringing and I wanted to tell you that I'm here, you can talk to me."

"I don't want to talk about it," I said and I covered my face with the duvet again.

"I figured you would say that. And it's ok. You don't have to tell me anything that you don't want to. I hope you'll change your mind, but you don't have to.

"But, honey, I do have to ask you a few questions about my things."

"What?" I was scared of what she might ask. Whether my answers were gonna change her mind.

"So you tried on a few pairs of my panties? That's all I was able to figure out. Am I correct so far?"

"Yes," I answered with my face hidden underneath the duvet. I couldn't look her in the eyes.

"Have you tried anything else?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Bras?"

Should I lie? "Yes. No... yes."

"Well, which is it?"

"I tried a couple of times, but I looked silly in them. You have boobs, and they're not small. I have... nothing. I looked ridiculous in them."

"Ok. Any dresses?"

"I tried one once. It didn't fit. Shoes either."

"Ok. Anything else? Make up?"

"I wish. I have no idea how to put it on. I tried a lipstick once and I looked like I got kicked in the mouth by a mule. And it was so hard to take off. I had to hide in my room all day."

She chuckled at my innocent honesty.

"I found your dildo," I said and I immediately regretted it. I don't know why I offered that.

"Oh, gosh. Wow, you really dug in, I thought that was pretty well hidden."

"I'm sorry."

"No, no, that's ok. Thank you for telling me. Did you do anything with it?"

"I rubbed it against my face. And between my... well, not my boobs, but, you know, across my chest."

"Anything else?"

"I put it in my mouth once. But just a little. I didn't want to like it."

"Did you put it anywhere else?"

"Where... Oh, gosh, no. No! I would never... No! I'm not..."

"Ok, ok. Thank you for being honest with me. Now I have to ask you something that is a little bit more embarrassing. Please don't freak out, I'll explain why I'm asking afterwards."

"Ok." Oh, god, what was she going to ask?

"So you put my panties on." She paused, trying to find the right words again. "Do you... you know... masturbate in them?"

"I'm sorry," was all I could say before I started tears filled my eyes again.

"That's ok, honey. That's ok, I get it. They do feel good. I masturbate in them, too," she offered. "It's normal, I guess. But the reason I'm asking, I don't think you should be masturbating in panties that I am gonna wear later. Even if you do wash them very well afterwards. And we definitely shouldn't be using the same dildo. I don't think we should do that, do you agree?"

"I'm never doing it again," I sobbed. "Any of it. I won't touch your things, I won't go into your room. I'll never put on panties ever again."

"That's not what I meant, silly. I meant we shouldn't be sharing. That doesn't mean you can't have a few pairs of panties of your own to do whatever you want with."

"What? Really?"

"Here's what we'll do. I'll free up a drawer in my room and put in it the ones you already... you know... stretched out. You can't keep them in your room, we don't want Dick or Gina to find them. And this weekend I'll hit the sale racks and try to find a couple of pretty bras just for you. How does that sound?"

I felt a 30-foot wave of emotions wash over me and I burst into uncontrollable sobbing. I buried my head in her chest and I cried like a little child. One by one, all the emotions that I had felt since I was maybe 12 or 13 came out, finally finding an outlet. The first stirrings of curiosity, the realisation that I was not "normal", the shame I felt for not being "normal", all the prayers I offered to god to change me, all the anger I had at myself for not being virtuous enough to allow god to change me, the shame of looking through my sister's things, the fear that I was going to get caught, the fear that even if I didn't get caught I was still going to end up in hell because god knows everything and he knows that I am wicked and sinful, the rage, the days I wanted to die, the days I wanted to never have been born, the physical pain that I induced on myself trying to quell the emotional pain, all of these feelings were bursting out of me because I had found one person who accepted me and I was crying and crying and Andi was holding me tight, like a mother should, but like my mother never would.

I don't know how long I cried, it was a long cry, with ugly tears and snot, but when I finally settled down I looked up at Andi and saw that she had been crying also. "Thank you. Thank you so much. I'll never forget this," and we stayed in that hug for a while longer.

Finally, Andi spoke again. "Can I ask you some more questions? And this time, you really don't have to answer. This is just me being curious and wanting to know more about you. You can tell me to eff off if I go to far."

"I'll tell you everything." I was never going to hide anything from her ever again.

"Are you... trans? You know, a girl? A trans girl? I'm not sure what's the right way to say it."

"I don't know. Honestly, I don't. I don't know if I'm trans or if I'm just a guy who likes to dress up in girl's clothes. I don't even know if I like to dress up fully, I never got a chance to try it. I like to wear panties because they feel good and it makes me feel pretty and I'd like to try more things, to figure it out, that's all I know so far."

"Yeah, that makes sense. I'll help you figure it out if you want." She paused and then she continued, "Do you like boys?"

"I really don't know. I am too afraid to have any kinds of thoughts like that. What if I do like boys? That's not right. I do like some girls. But I don't know if I like boys, too. And right now, I'm too scared to find out. I want to find out first how much of a girl I want to be and then we'll see."

"Makes sense. Sorry if this was intrusive."

"It's ok," and we hugged again.

"I do know one thing." I stopped here because I had never dared to say these words out loud, even to myself. But if I couldn't trust her now, I would never be able to trust anyone ever.

"What is it?"

I took a deep breath and just said it: "My name is Sasha."

A big smile spread across her face. "Hi, Sasha!"

"Hi!" and I smiled back. Both our eyes were starting to fill up with tears again.

"Ok, ok, before we get all mushy again, I need to take some measurements to see what bra size you need. Do you have a tape measure around?"

"Yeah, check the top drawer in my desk. There should be one in there."

Andi stood up, opened the drawer and looked inside it.

"This?" she asked as she produced a magnetic tape measure. "How am I gonna get this around your torso? I need like a tailor tape measure."

"Oh, I don't have anything like that."

"Oh, I wonder what this is," she mock-wondered as she produced one from her pocket. Jeez, she really did come prepared for anywhere our conversation might go. "Ok, you need to come out from under the duvet and sit up."

I did what she asked and I saw a smirk across Andi's face. She just now realised that I was bare chested under the duvet and only had the panties on.

"Good, looks like you came prepared, too," she joked. "Ok, arms up, let's do this quickly." She wrapped the tape measure across my chest and took several measurements, some tighter, some looser. "Ok, now lean forward. Now lie back on the bed. Ok, that's it." She was done measuring and I was back under the duvet in less than 30 seconds.

Which was very fortunate because all of a sudden, the door opened wide and Dick stepped into my room. That's how we did things in our house. You never heard them coming up the stairs. They never knocked. They were suddenly there.

"What's going on here?" he asked.

"Oh, hi, daddy. One of our colleagues from high school was just diagnosed with cancer and we're both very upset. We were praying for him," answered Andi without skipping a beat. Boy, she knew exactly how to lie to them. I wondered if she came up with them on the spot or if she had a list full of appropriate lies for each situation, ready to pull from at any moment.

He was taken aback. "Well, that's very nice of you. I'm sure god will listen to your prayers, you are good kids. Glory be! But you shouldn't be lying in the same bed, especially not at night."

"Alex is under the covers and I am over them, daddy. We're not even touching. We just wanted to pray together."

"Good, good. Well, you can pray alone now, it's late and you shouldn't be in his room. Come on now, go to your room, young lady."

This was it, our moment was coming to an end. Fortunately, we got all the important stuff out. Andi said "Good night!" and then she mouthed "Sasha" just to me.

"Good night, Andi! Thank you for being here for me."

Will continue in Part 2