What Happens in Orbit Pt. 25

Cora was in a meeting. She'd started planning it several days ago, shutting out everyone but Mary and Tabitha from the process.

The process involved Cora discovering a lot more about the way Koramin had run the planet than she'd initially wanted to.

She'd seen the crescent-shaped building curling around the sunset edge of the compound but had no idea that it was packed with offices. Busy would have been an understatement.

Mary, one of the few remaining members of Koramin's war council, had a framed degree in her office. Cora had completely lost track of the conversation, instead wondering how the hell she'd managed to get a PhD in Public Administration from Tsinghua University in China.

"Cora?"

She turned. "How many of you went to school on Earth?"

Mary leaned back and forth, doing figures in her head. "All but a few of us."

"Are there not schools here?"

She shrugged. "There are, but Koramin always said, that Earth schools were better for the, uh, humanities, as you call them. We had a lovely exchange program deal with Zhongguo until the Grand Mother ordered the blockade around Earth."

Cora gritted her teeth. "I know what she's worried about, but that won't work. Let's set a goal of getting back in her good graces."

"We can do that rather easily, by getting rid of Koramin's hybridization program. But I'm loath to suggest this. It was her pride and joy."

"Hm." Cora crossed her legs, finally finding a seated position that didn't set her lower back on fire. "Am I right with this? The only reason she's got as much sway as she does is because of their, uh, textile monopoly?"

She'd written this phrase down after hearing it from Ray.

Tabitha nodded, furiously clearing her desk to push it against the wall. "I'll be back."

There was shouting and clattering from the hallway as she ran back in with an oversized IKEA whiteboard and a pocket full of markers, slamming it down into place. "My queen! I'm excited. Koramin never planned with us. And you even like to listen!"

The situation felt like a big, tangled mess of yarn. Nobody could compete with the Noxis, because when they tried, the Grand Mother would simply order a blockade. Noxis ships were older and slower, but widespread with a lightning-fast communication network between them. They certainly didn't have population issues.

For a moment, Cora toyed with the idea of fixing some of Earth's problems, too.

That would probably be reaching too far. She sighed. Maybe someday.

It would be the opposite of simple.

She chewed at the inside of her cheek as she watched Tabitha draw a webbed diagram. Her talents were wasted in the nursery.

Well, maybe not entirely. It wouldn't hurt the kids to learn from her.

It wouldn't hurt the kids to see you some time. Her stomach turned. She couldn't think about that right now.

"Wait. Do the Noxis have some sort of mental link, like the Yarlott? Or do they just follow her because they don't care to follow anyone else?"

Mary hummed. "They're obligate carnivores. Nowhere else but under her will they have an endless supply of food."

Endless. "Endless? Oh!" Cora leaned forward on her hands, trying to lift some of the weight off her back. "Oh. And why don't we fight back? Are there too many?"

"Ion beams and even the newer microwave rifles won't work. They pass right through."

Cora rocked back and winced. "Ray told me- hold on, let's get Ray here."

Moments later, Ray stood in the doorway, breathless and sweating. "Yes?"

She waved a hand towards him. "Come here. Shut the door. What happened to the other subjects? The boys were working under Koramin when they were sent to close out the other missions. Where are they?"

He shuddered. "I told you earlier. They're being held."

"I want to see them. I know you said they're not sentient anymore, but I want to see for myself."

It would be a long day. Mary and Tabitha accompanied them to a lift below the Crescent.

Cora resisted the urge here to ask any questions as she'd started to feel a little awkward, being queen and all, not knowing a goddamn thing.

There were even more offices down here. Not as closely packed, but just as busy. Levels upon levels of rooms packed with imported Earth office furniture. Cora started to pick out boxes and large parts as the lift slowed.

"These were all humans, once," Ray sighed.

"Wait, what? I thought you said there were a few different species used?"

"There were. Only humans made it this far."

The containment cell was at the far end of the hallway. Cora ignored the guards, ordering the rows of bars opened.

She had a gut feeling.

When only the glass layers of the containment cell remained, Cora approached. They'd been well taken care of, three young women her age. It looked like they'd been treated with different ratios of modifiers, all to the same end.

"Where'd they come from?"

"Same recruitment campaign as you. The United States had an external agreement with us to allow it."

"Mmm. Ray, you dumbass." She stepped up and crossed her arms. "They're perfectly sentient. They probably can't fucking talk because your shit formula messed their teeth up."

"My formula? It's not my formula!"

Cora ignored him. "Am I right, ladies?" Her stomach twisted. They'd been isolated for four years, not a moment without pain. The three inside regarded her blankly. They probably can't hear me.

The guards lingered behind her uncertainly. I wonder. "Hey, what are their names? No, I wasn't asking you, Ray."

"Autumn, Laura, and Savannah," answered Mary. She leaned back toward the guard she'd been speaking to, muttering something to them. "They've been playing fast and loose with the rules. Ray didn't have the complete story."

"I thought so. They didn't hide their tracks well enough." Cora pointed to the freshly scraped tile below the rows of bars. "Go ahead and let them out, please."

"God, that still hurts, doesn't it?" Unafraid, Cora leaned forward, inspecting the fangs sprouting through the skin around their lips, wrapped in ropes of bright red scarring. "And what have we done to help?"

"Ah, nothing. Koramin was supposed to have them... taken care of."

"If it's any consolation, I choked her ass out. She's dead now." Cora turned back to Ray, eyes ablaze. "I shouldn't have to explain to you why this is completely unacceptable, yeah? You're aware?"

"They can talk, just not well," piped up Mary. Tabitha had wandered off to the offices back near the lift. "Yu Ming has been teaching them Zentrin."

Cora held up her hands, trying to put herself in their shoes. She needed them on her roster, desperately, but they'd just spent years having half their rights horribly violated. If not more. She'd be lucky if they didn't kill her in her sleep.

"Okay. Okay. I don't know what they told you about me or what's going on, but all this shit stops today. I'm glad you haven't been being held the entire time, but fuck. This shit does not fly."

Autumn opened her mouth ever-so-slightly, the scarring growing quickly taught, but shut it after a moment. "We're gonna figure this out. I'm queen now. But.. I can't just come down here and say how things are gonna go. Do you- Can I get a doctor down here to look at you all? A good one. One I'd see myself. God, I need to make this right. I'm sorry." As Tabitha came running back with a chair, they regarded her uncertainly. "We can talk. It'll be okay." She sat down, trying not to wheeze.

The three women were able to speak, but it was in a quiet, slurring manner. Ray had been inching further and further away this whole time, his nervous state being compounded by the furious glares Cora was shooting him every few minutes.

It was now or never. Cora leaned forward in her chair. "Would you all... Would you be down to help me get revenge? Well, look- It's not just revenge. If you want to go back to Earth, or live any kind of free life, we need to stand up to the lady restricting our movement. There's none down here, but we have these creatures, these Noxis. Their queen has some kind of fucked-up vendetta against us. She sent me back to Earth pregnant, made me risk my life over and over just to get back up here."

"You got a family?" Autumn spoke softly.

"Yeah. A really big one. There's space ports, planets, any kind of life your heart could desire out here. And return to Earth is always an option. I know they've already told you plenty about the alien presence back home." Cora decisively kept any pity out of her voice and expression.

This felt like playing Operation.

Tears were running down Laura's face.

"Shit. God, I can't apologize enough. I just got this fucker to tell me where she was keeping you." She reached out, taking Laura's shaking hands in her own. "We wouldn't even be here if it weren't for these two shitty queens. The Noxis queen, the Grand Mother, wants to have you all killed, myself included. She knew about this program, okayed it, then backtracked like a coward when it didn't go according to plan. Now everybody but her is in danger and she won't even let us defend ourselves. She's using her ships to block us from getting help, getting supplies, anything." Cora leaned in, lowering her voice. "The others think that the Noxis are unkillable. They're these big spiders, terrifying at first. But guess what?" She waited for a moment. "I've killed several with my bare hands. It takes strength. It takes force. They don't have it. We do."

"But you're pregnant."

"I am, but... Look, we're playing the long game. I've got just a few months left. And you'll have every resource available to you if you'll help me."

It went much better than Cora had expected. The same could be said for the meeting she lead now, surrounded by the remnants of Koramin's war cabinet. They all seemed to be on the same page. The year-plan was relatively simple. They would join the coalition meeting tomorrow, later invite the Yarlott emperor to her coronation, start chipping away at the Noxis blockade using some of Tabitha's novel ideas, especially the ones Koramin had shot down as boring. Have the ladies combat-ready in a quarter. Cora remembered the footage they'd shown her. That wouldn't be hard.

Cora particularly liked what Tabitha had presented to them. It was familiar, not exactly a nice tactic, but it would work just fine if they'd understood the general mindset of Noxis followers.

Every time Cora thought about whether what she was doing was right or not, she stopped herself. They had to do what they had to do. She'd always fantasized about situations where she'd be given this kind of decision-making authority. She'd have judgement unclouded by greed. Cora had never imagined that she'd fall face-first into control of an entire planet. It was exciting. I can do a lot of good here.

Mar rubbed his face over his hands. "Why are you all here?"

Tai frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Koramin wasn't born like that. Cora's already becoming too... Like us. She shouldn't be doing this alone."

"What do you mean, like us? She has to."

"She's fine, Erie's with her," said Leo from the doorway. "And it's not like she's beginning from nothing. Koramin left her everything she'd need." He stopped himself sharply, squinting at the floor. "Now that I'm thinking about it... That's really convenient, isn't it?"

Tai leaned back, looking at his hands. "I thought the same. Ray knows more than he's told us, and Cora always says she'll talk later. I think she doesn't want to tell us either."

The moment he heard Ray, Mar kicked his left leg out of the bed. "Oh, yes. I'm done resting." Mar inched himself sideways, Tai barely catching him before he collapsed to the floor. "You said Ray is helping her?"

"Ray is helping who?" Came the voice from across the hall. "You know you can't get up yet, Mar."

"Like hell I can't," he muttered. "Two-headed dumbass."

"I heard that."

"No, you didn't." He groaned, frustrated, as Tai and Leo helped him into a wobbly standing position, only for Tai to suddenly collapse, the others falling like dominoes.

There was an exasperated sigh followed by Ray's even more exasperated entrance.

"Just wait, I have something that can help."

"We have quite a bit of our most recent batch of Modifier. We're obviously stopping subject acquisition, but I'm offering an alternative, so our hard-working researchers aren't left in the lurch. Left, uh, jobless," she added, casting an apologetic glance at Erie. She still hadn't kicked her habit of using her native idioms and redneck-isms. He shook his head. "I know humans too well. Prospective subjects will come to us." Cora looked down at the meeting notes she'd made. "Any questions?"

"How do we justify our actions against the Noxis?" It was Danger. Cora fought the urge to smile. Mary had done a fantastic job preparing them to win over Koramin's remaining loyalists.

She set down her tablet. "How do they justify their actions against us? We can't act like what Grand Mother has done are just these, uh, natural consequences. It's clear as day to me. She's so focused on allowing them to spread and managing their food supply. I hear the excuse that they're obligate carnivores. We aren't obligated to be eaten! She gets to set up arbitrary boundaries across our star system? Seriously? Why have we all been so fair to her as she wrings us- Sorry, Erie. As she takes more from us than we could ever get back in trade." Cora huffed, straightening up. She would need to eat soon. "We don't have to justify a thing to her. In fact, we're going to start asking her to justify why she hasn't done more for her own kind. They're not mindless creatures. I've even lived with two Drager, a mother and her daughter. They're capable of so much more and she treats them like her endless supply of foot soldiers. We need to make sure that they know this." Cora regarded her notes, fixing her facial expression. This next point had been carefully choreographed. "We'll start with simply sowing discord. I want to propose we focus our force on something else. We rescinded our forces from the Rellemara asteroid belt after the Grand Mother dictated we do so. But her forces are sparse in the area. We retake the remaining mining operations, as quietly as we can. We'll be using smaller forces, stealth ships. I want it to look like solar flares, accidents, random Noxis attacks. As long as we're careful, we can keep the Yarlott on our side."

"And how are you proposing we do that?"

At least they were being respectful this time around. Last meeting led Cora to discover that if the wartime council couldn't reach an agreement, it was hashed out in combat. The one thing Cora did not want to do.

She gestured, bringing up a detailed graphic on the table's central display.

"Modified large-beam microwave rifles. They disrupt communications even at a very low power level. Most of the mining staff are Roshak. I know we've questioned the morality of simply executing Foshar. Please consider this casualty report we received. We may not have the privilege of morality-driven choice for much longer." Cora hoped she would never have to explain this to her children. The guilt was already turning her stomach.

Well, feeling like this means I'm keeping my humanity. Or just... that I'm hungry.

She waited for the cabinet members to finish writing and start the hushed conversation among themselves.

"Will we be taking Roshak as well?"

Fuck, yeah. "Taking may be a strong way to phrase it. If everything goes by the plan, we can rid them of the Foshar puppet leadership. They could be allowed to live as they please, without that sick death cult strangling them down to nothing."

"Why not just liberate Roshak first?" This was Miedzna, the cabinet member she feared most. They were the oldest, having served even before Koramin's time as queen. Their skin had faded to a dull green, showing signs of tearing around the elbows. Hyper-traditionalist, they were a devout member of Takka's Sunbearer religion, demanding crystal-clear moral justification for every action, even if it were already clearly immoral. Koramin must have hated them.

Cora would never demand action without justification, but she couldn't simply say that.

She wasn't Koramin.

Today, they'd gotten Miedzna to play right into her hands. "Miedzna, that's... I like that idea. They deserve the right to live without having their culture squashed at every opportunity. Would you suggest we target their liberation first?"

Miedzna laced their fingers together slowly, gingerly. "I'm loath to suggest this, but I hear that we now have some of Roshak's finest mercenaries. Why not use our forces to take the mining colonies back, and let them, eh, handle the puppet queen?"

"On what timeline?"

Thoughtfully, Miedzna regarded the others. They had a gravelly voice that set her teeth on edge. "We... want to avoid igniting any further conflict. Perhaps we make it look as if this was a natural consequence of the ongoing rebellion, simply offering them our ships and weapons? The timeline for this line of action would be within the quarter."

Cora leaned back, pretending to think. Mary's face held a faint, serene smile. They'd spent hours practicing how they'd get Miedzna to agree directly to taking out the Roshak Matriarch and her Foshar military detachment.

They'd even managed to requisition Mar's old crew for it. They hadn't been hard to find.

Everything was going perfectly.

Except.

Cora wasn't sure when she'd started seeing the late queen again. It had definitely started sometime after she'd killed the elders, but it hadn't been so clear at first. A glimpse around a corner, a quick meeting of familiar eyes in a crowd.

Now, the bitch wouldn't leave her alone.

I did kill her, right?

She stood in the corner of the room, waving encouragingly, in that sickeningly sweet way she reserved just for Cora.

She shook her head, returning her focus to the cabinet as they cast their votes.

The first time she heard Koramin's voice again, Cora knew she had to start taking better care of herself. It had to be the stress. There was no other clear reason for her to be receiving fashion advice from the queen she'd strangled to death in a blind rage.

Granted, Koramin didn't seem bitter about it at all.

It came after Cora had started undressing by herself in the old royal quarters. The others were always a little too eager to help her get dressed, and she desperately needed the quiet.

"Cora, dear, why don't you open the wardrobe to your left? Perhaps you find something that suits you better. The robes I wore when I was carrying Tarina should be there still. Yes, the blue ones."

After a moment of stiff indecision, she shrugged. Hell, why not? She reached for the carved handle, pulling it to find several sets of robes on hangers, including a set in a deep royal blue. Cora carefully extricated the flowing garment from the others, holding it out at arm's length. "I didn't think we were the same size."

The sleeve ends were embroidered in overlapping layers of red-orange-yellow, forming an Earth sunset gradient.

"Who are you talking to?" The door to the washroom opened, revealing Tarina in a billowing fog of scented steam.

"Your mother," replied Cora, immediately making a face. "Sorry. That wasn't phrased right."

"Oh."

Cora scrunched her eyes shut. "I don't know what's happening. Don't think about it too much."

Tarina tilted her head thoughtfully. "I won't. Those... were her favorite maternity robes. Can I help you?"

Koramin watched from the bed, looking smug.

Cora refused to admit she was losing it. It wouldn't help. She'd pantomimed heading to rest, only to sidestep her way behind the attendants. It was late.

The engineer's station was empty, all light cut off for the night. Once the coalition is approved, we'll move to shift work.

The work could not stop once it had truly started.

She crept down the lift's service ladder, minding her steps. It would suck to fall right now.

You know, you're making this pretty difficult, she thought pointedly in the direction of her belly. It was a delicate topic, one that everyone but Ray was avoiding bringing up. Cora had wondered why, but refused to ask. I'll find out eventually. Until it was closer to the time, Cora would try not to think about it more than necessary.

Her mind would not stop spinning. A new topic rose to the surface every few seconds.

Koramin, thankfully, could not ford the ladder. I bet if I find a small enough, dark enough space, she'll fuck off for a bit.

Only the emergency light remained on. Dim islands of light radiated from the floor, lighting up the massive part-supply crates. Oh, yes. Perfect.

There was a pitch-black gap under three crates stacked in a pyramid. Gritting her teeth, Cora sat down, inching her way in. Koramin definitely couldn't get in here.

"You are not well."

"Oh, hell, who now?" Cora would have thrown her hands in the air if there were room. Someone else was in the gap, having entered from the other end. "Mital?"

He appeared just an arm's length in front of her, having turned on a light to illuminate their shared space.

"No. Turn that off."

"Alright."

The silence was heavy.

"You're mourning something."

"And you're watching too many telenovelas. Why are you down here?"

"Why are you down here? I wanted peace and quiet. Then you came down here with your deafening heartbeat."

Cora rubbed at her forehead. Her heartbeat had been loud recently, echoing in her head, but she'd assumed it was just one of those things nobody else could hear.

"What is wrong with you?"

"For fuck's sake, Mital, you don't have to be so direct."

"Nobody else will. They're all afraid."

"And why do you think that is?" She was starting to get particularly angry and it bled into her voice.

"Maybe I'll get lucky and you'll kill me, too."

Cora snatched the light from him, turning it on again to point it at his hands. "What the hell?"

"What are you mourning?"

She turned the light off again. His hands were too still. It made her nauseous.

Then again, so did everything these days. "I'm not mourning anything. Why do you keep saying that?"

"You look like me."

Her heart twisted sharply in her chest. "And... Why are you mourning?"

"I asked you that first."

"No, you asked what. I asked why. Plus, I outrank you."

He was silent for long enough that Cora began to wonder if he'd left. He's not that quiet.

She waited.

"Mital?"

He spoke again, his hushed tones scattered. She could barely understand him. "You want to end the Foshar, right?"

"No, that's not our pl-"

"It needs to be. Every day you Others get closer and closer to us."

Cora had a sinking feeling that she already understood. "Closer?"

"You all think they can't get you. That only we can host the Foshar. But they evolve. You know they evolve. That scientist knows. They will evolve." A dimmer light illuminated their faces. It was his tablet. "Look." His perfectly still hand showed her a blurry photo. It was a young sage-green Roshak, but the ears didn't look quite right. "I was a child once."

"That's you?" He'd definitely lost some color.

He turned the screen off, plunging them back into darkness. "They won't stop. They don't know how to stop."

Cora stopped herself just short of asking him, but what about your family? It dawned on her as her vocal cords moved to make the tones.

She reached for his face, gently trying to find it in the dark.

"They did the same to you." His entire body was perfectly still. "They took over your body and gave you a new purpose. You should hate them."

"I can't."

His pause was painful to sit through. "Why not?"

Cora was unsure why she hadn't expected that question. It hit her like an ion beam, nearly tearing her chest apart. Panicking, she scrambled out of their hiding place and away from there.

She'd been so careful. But it had never truly gone away. She'd shoved the corpse of it in a closet somewhere deep in her mind, and now it was rotting.

Her foot caught something in the dark, setting off a chain reaction of metallic rattling. It was the walkway to the empty containment cell.

Fuck. Did she hate them?

Who did she hate? Who was just following orders? They felt guilty, sure, and now they'd follow her to the ends of the universe. Did they do it out of guilt?

Who ruined her life? Wasn't it already ruined?

What was it now?

This didn't feel like a life. It felt like something's smoldering husk, burnt beyond recognition.

Her skin crawled. Ripping it off wouldn't be enough. She had to-

Koramin stood across the way, needle teeth grinning in the dim light.

"Oh, for fuck's sake!"

Cora, you fucking drama queen! It's not that serious! This is exactly what she wants, wants you to go batshit crazy just like her.

Well, actually, piped up a different, calmer voice in her mind. Remember, Mama had postpartum psychosis after she had your sister.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" The realization was embarrassing enough without the need to yell.

"Cora?" Came Mital's voice, thin and tired.

"Get out of there and go get some actual rest. And eat. I don't care if you're not hungry."

A beam of light shone down from the lift. "Cora? When did you get down there?"

It was Erie.

The lift hummed to life, bringing him down.

Her stomach turned again.

"I found Mital down here, hiding under some crates."

"She only found me because she was hiding as well."

"Snitch." Cora got on the lift. "Come on, Mital." She leaned against Erie. "Do you know how long it's been since I've slept?"

He swallowed, looking down at her nervously. "It's been three days."

"Holy shit, are you serious?" Cora looked around, lowering her voice slightly. "Fuck me! Why didn't anyone say anything? I've been sitting here thinking I'm losing my goddamn mind!"

Erie tilted his head back and forth. "You've been... Kind of scary lately. Um, focused. That's a better word. I didn't want to. I haven't even heard you speak English in... a while."

Kind of scary? "I'm sorry. I- Whoa." It was like her body had been waiting for her to realize. Her legs were like stone as the lift guiderails swayed slightly around her.

Mital finally appeared from the shadows, him and Erie barely catching her before she fell.

Cora yanked herself back to consciousness. "No- No. I need to walk. I can not be seen like this." She steadied herself.

When had the hallway gotten so long? Cora focused on making each step the same length, one tile per foot.

Mital was gone. Erie opened the door to their shared quarters, Cora realizing that she hadn't even seen a bed in God knows how long.

Six months earlier, she would have flopped facedown into the bed, but she couldn't now. Cora carefully rolled her way into bed, wincing. Her back was on fire.

Cora snapped awake.

She hadn't dreamed at all. It was like she'd just lost consciousness and came back.

Tor sat at the other end of the bed, staring at her. His expression was unreadable, his face still riddled with bruising.

Cora rolled to her knees, crawling forward to lay her head in his lap. The tension broke.

He rested a hand on her head. "Mar's awake."

"Is he... okay?"

"He can talk, but he can't move around on his own yet. He wants to talk to you." Tor leaned down as close to her as he could. "Without Ray," he whispered.

Cora rolled onto her back, looking up at him. "I'm sorry, I've been so focused on getting ready for the coalition meeting. I know I haven't been myself, but I feel like something's going on. Something else."

Tor eyed the door, tapping his gathered fingertips a few times against his lips. He was hushing her.

This concerned Cora even more.

She racked her mind for a reason. Oh! "I haven't told you all everything he told me. I kind of had to 'hit the ground running', don't know if that translates."

He nodded. "We heard a bit. Tarina has been keeping the peace and told us some of what she knew. We knew about the Foshar, but not that they can form their own bodies now." He continued to whisper, his mouth twisting into a frown. "And more about the... baby."

Cora chewed at her lip. "Hey, Tor?"

"Hm?"

"Why do... This is gonna sound bad. Why do you all still care so much about me? I know at first it was the mission, then guilt, but now... I feel like most of our relationship is just... Problems."

His frown deepened. "Don't let Tai hear you ask that." He paused, looking up at the ceiling for a while before continuing. "None of us want a family that doesn't have you in it."

"What about Tai?"

"He thought he was going to lose you again and..." Tor grimaced sharply, showing teeth. "Now, there's no more nobles."

"Like, at all?" Cora had severely misunderstood the situation. "Della said they just attacked them and came back."

To say Tai was confused would be an understatement. "Why did he say that? They came back covered in Sheevae blood after a noble warned us. Erie said they didn't leave a single life." Disgust colored his voice. "Half the time they spent out there was just getting rid of the dead. Leo is still having nightmares."

Cora considered this.

"That's not bad to you?" Tor asked softly. He was at least trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.

"No, no, it will be. I'm... I'm trying to stop reacting to things like I usually do. You know, where I immediately go bonkers."

He shook his head.

"No, I know, that's really fucked up and I need to check in with Leo and Erie if they were there, too. I know what Tai and Mar can do, but I didn't think it was that bad."

"Not even Mar would go as far as he did," replied Tor, barely above a whisper.

"And then he came back and attacked you."

He nodded.

"I have to do better." Cora tried to sit up, almost failing before Tor scooped a hand under her back. "Thank you."

"You're not going to go try to kill him again, are you? We need him."

She shook her head. "No, I'm going to try to go see Mar."

As Cora walked down the hall, she did some mental tallying.

Here he comes.

Ray poked his head out of his office. "Cora! You're awake. We were starting to worry."

"Of course I am! We have plenty of time, Ray. In fact, I want you to go over to the Crescent and do a final review of the presentation materials. They have to be perfect, you know."

He seemed to shrink a little.

"I'm asking you because I know your attention to detail is like nobody else's, Ray. I trust you."

Just as quickly as he'd shrank, his pride brought him back to height. "I will!"

And there he goes. That was easy.

Mar waited inside his room. They'd taken him off the Reviver bed, putting him instead into a lower, more comfortable bed, not as rectangular. He'd have room to sleep comfortably.

Cora shut the door behind her, as quietly as she could manage.

"Cora." He smiled, reaching out for her. Suddenly feeling a little more human, she beamed, letting him pull her into the bed with what little strength he had.

She ran a hand over his chest, her nails catching slightly on the lilac fabric covering it. "I missed you. I know you weren't gone, but-"

"I know."

Cora buried her face in his neck. He was starting to smell like himself again. "Tor said you wanted to talk to me."

His hand grazed her stomach, then came to rest on it. "Is Ray gone?"

"He is. I sent him to go do final checks for a big meeting we're having today."

"Mm. How are you feeling?"

"Better now." She laughed. "Apparently, I went three days without sleeping and nobody told me."

Though she couldn't see his face, Cora knew his expression had darkened.

"Tarina told me. She said you started seeing Koramin."

Cora wondered when Tarina had done this. It felt like she'd been avoiding her. It was nice to know that she still cared. She's probably helping the attendants with the kids.

"It's been days since you've seen the kids," he said, like he'd read her mind.

"I..."

"You don't think you can, do you?" He kept his tone so gentle that it almost didn't hurt. Almost.

Cora sighed. She didn't want to get angry. He was right. "Ray says-"

He cut her off with a hand placed gently on her back. "Has he said anything about Zomari?"

She shook her head. "No. And I haven't seen her, ever, I don't think."

"We think something happened to her. Leo is seeing interport communications about Foshar residents initiating emergency departure procedures, citing bereavement. A lot of it. What do you think?"

"I think the same thing happened to Mital's family." Cora shifted. Her leg had fallen asleep.

"Ray isn't acting like the Scientist anymore. He's acting like-"

Cora sat bolt upright, nearly pulling a muscle in the process. "Wait! Sorry, I- Augh! I just remembered something."

Mar propped his arm against her back, doing his best to help. "What?"

"The Foshar parasites, they're like a fungus. Ray told me. Structurally, they're a fungus. They have spores."

Mar nodded, not completely understanding.

"Shit! I have to go talk to Ray. I- Mar, I'll be back." Cora started to extricate herself.

He grabbed her hand. "Cora, make sure he's not using you for revenge."

"I am, which is why I have to go tell him this!"

Cora had suddenly been struck by a nasty memory. She'd worked for a single month in a medical supply warehouse, clear up until a forklift crushed a pallet full of a specific chemical cleaner right in front of her.

Her manager had frantically read off the safety data sheet as Cora waterboarded herself at the eye rinse station. "Will cause temporary but substantial eye damage. Shoot, Cora, how are you eyes?"

She'd gone home covered in chemical burns, her eyes swollen and red for the next two days, and quit via text.

Then, she went to Google.

Itchy and pissed off, she'd read the Wikipedia entry for peracetic acid. It was, apparently, stupidly easy to accidentally make, and killed everything from mold to the bacteria that caused tuberculosis.

That killed fungus.

At the best speed she could manage, Cora jogged out to the Crescent. "Ray!"

He fell out of a doorway, stumbling to catch himself. He'd been doing that a lot lately. "What is it?"

"Are you familiar with peracetic acid?"

He shook his head.

"It's- Can you access the Earth network from here? I just had an idea for what's probably going to be a war crime."

Cora should not have made that joke. She intensely regretted it now as Ray called in Erie and the entire research team, coordinating the translation of the chemical profile and manufacturing instructions. They'd even found wholesalers for both ingredients on Takka.

Miedzna entered the Crescent after several marks, stooping low to get through the doorway. Cora took them aside and carefully explained how she'd been doused with it and survived. How it was used regularly in the medical field on Earth. Left out some key details.

She had their approval for the order within a single mark.

Then, they'd surprised her further by patting her arm, whispering, "You've done well. We will free your people." They'd been close enough that Cora could see the patterned scars running up their arms, a common feature of Sunbearer leadership.

"Thank you," she'd said, trying to temper her pride with the memory of how badly the acid had burned.

It left no scars, but she remembered.

A hundred twenty marks remained before the coalition meeting.

Cora snuck out from the excitement, reuniting with Mar in his room. He was half-asleep as she crept into the bed next to him.

"You're back."

"I told you I would be. Do you remember what you were trying to tell me about?"

He nodded sleepily. "You won't like it."

"Maybe." She reached for one of his hands, stroking the lines on his palm.

"I don't think we should stay here."

Cora nodded. "I know."

"Do you?" Maybe it was just the exhaustion, but he sounded doubtful.

"I don't think this is a good place for the little ones to grow up either."

"What about this one?"

Cora scrunched up as he pointed to her stomach.

"I don't know. I'm... kind of trying to avoid thinking too much about it."

"What's your plan?"

Holding up her hands, Cora hummed. "We reduce Noxis forces, reestablish trade between Takka and other planets like Earth. Take out the Roshak matriarch and end the Foshar occupation."

"And after?"

"I don't know. I feel like everything is happening very quickly."

"If you're going to make them stand up to the Grand Mother, you know what you're going to have to do, right?"

"She won't like that. What do you think would happen if she died?"

"Every Noxis that was ever brave enough to face her, died horribly. When she dies, there is nobody else. She thinks she's invincible." He turned his face to Cora. "She may be. She's been alive for as long as anyone can remember."

"And then there's the Foshar."

"You don't have a lot of choices, do you?"

"Well... Once we reestablish trade with Earth, there are certain medications we can try, y'know, that might kill it off. But the Foshar emperor keeps collaborating with her on these stupid blockades. The weird metal creatures are just going to be, uh, taken care of."

"Whatever you do, Cora, you're going to regret it." He sighed, stroking her hair.

"Thanks for the confidence, Mar."

"No, I'm telling you from experience. Tai is an example of what you turn into when you can't cope with what you've done. I'm not saying that I'm perfect. But I want to save you as much suffering as I can. Just do what you can and be prepared for someone to still hate you for it."

The reception went exactly to plan. The onlookers at the sand-catamaran pier were positioned far back enough to avoid injuries, but close enough for the chanting to be audible. She'd even personally coordinated the chants. Banners with the various nation emblems were hung securely, dust shades were reinforced, and the leaders proceeded into the meeting hall with no hiccups.

One leader in was particularly terrifying. She'd taken the title of Summa Mater, and boy, did it suit her. She'd been a reptilian Sheevae, but after almost two hundred rotations, she didn't resemble one at all. She stood at double Cora's height, every muscle fiber visible under her paper-thin skin. Her scales were large, loose, and stood out from her skin like shark's teeth. Time had washed the black of her pupils out to a bloody red, raising her intimidation factor exponentially.

The translators were pulled aside and questioned, ensuring every single one of them could speak the languages required. That was Erie's idea.

Ray and Erie were positioned on either side of her seat, wearing the same high-collared royal blue robes that her attendants wore, details done in gold. Cora and Tabitha had been careful to cultivate an atmosphere of familiarity, while distancing everything from Koramin.

It was her grandmother, after all, that had ruined it all.

The Summa Mater wore a disc-shaped hat three times wider than her shoulders, the underside embroidered with golden stars.

The other four leaders were not as distinct, but were all reptilian. One wore plain, sleeveless starched robes in a blue-gray. This was Sterna. They were a Sunbearer like Miedzna, their arms scarred just the same. They regarded everything here with shrewd interest, but Cora knew from Ray's intel that they'd be easiest to win over.

One by one, they greeted her, Cora responding in a carefully pronounced local greeting she'd learned just for them.

Next, the food and drink. Koramin had helped a little too much with this, to the point Cora was complimented by the catering director for being 'reminiscent of our dearly departed queen'.

Oh, well. It all needed to be just so.

She'd practiced this presentation twice daily. It served two purposes. One, to showcase the benefits of reunification under a single banner, and two, to discretely promise that there would be no repeats of what was called the Kalejeyin Crisis. Someone's grandmother had gotten the bright idea of using the coalition military in a way that was not compliant with the terms of said coalition.

Both the Summa Mater and Sterna were accompanied by human attendants. Cora wasn't sure if that was for her benefit or theirs.

Sterna folded their hands, their expressions clearly well-practiced. Cora was surprised when he began to speak in mildly accented English.

"After two hundred journeys of partnership with Earth, I'm rather happy to see us with a human queen." They leaned forward at the table, tilting their head back and forth. "My citizens have a great concern, unfortunately, that I need to assuage."

She kept her face neutral. "What would that be?"

"Your Roshak science director tells me that you hail from the United States. Our understanding of this country and its people is not a pleasant one." They stopped their sentence there, waiting.

She hadn't been ready for this. Definitely not in English. Sterna's human population was majority Chinese. Cora thought for a moment, making a mental list. "Neither is mine. I have no intention of changing the economic, social, or legal structures here on Takka, certainly not with American nonsense. What I've seen here works well."

Cora hoped that was the right answer.

"The nonsense. Unchecked greed, correct?" Summa Mater had spoken up, setting Cora's teeth on edge.

"And the clear hatred of true unity."

Boy, she hated this. She could address specific examples, but whatever they were getting at, they were only willing to use vague, conceptual terms. This hadn't been in Ray's cultural briefing.

Cora took a deep breath, forcibly relaxing her jaw. She'd crack a tooth at this rate. What are they going to do? I'm queen. "I'm not- Please, excuse my directness. Are we avoiding being specific to avoid offending me?" The pause was longer than she would have liked, their expressions nauseatingly unreadable. Okay, go, go, go. Fuck!

"I reserve no love for my homeland. I miss my family and my friends, but like many, I had endless critique for everything from our governmental structure to the value placed on life. I am not, however," Cora paused, flattening her hands against the table. She'd almost made fists. "so bullheaded, so American, that I'd think to come here, gain the monarchy of a planet I didn't grow up on, and upend the lives of billions over some inflated sense of cultural superiority. I see solutions here, but I understand my place." She looked to Erie. "I hope that everything I'm saying is translating clearly and is being understood. I'm becoming a bit animated, I think, because I am impressed by what I've seen and what I've heard here on Takka and I can see the uncertainty you feel for your futures." She made direct eye contact with several of the leaders while speaking. "I'm not going to make vague promises to you because we can't keep vague promises. That's the trouble. We need specifics in our agreement. I'll be particularly direct about this: I am never going to be so stupid, so power-hungry as to think that I'm going to unify this entire planet by force. Or do anything by force, for that matter. Twelve billion individuals should not have so much uncertainty in their life over a single regime change. It makes me sick. For the well-being and safety of all of our futures, let's talk specifics."

It was almost underwhelming, at the end of the day, how easily everything had happened. Well, maybe easily wasn't the right word. Cora was exhausted, tension locking her neck and shoulders in place. Her jaw ached from gritting her teeth, even though she'd made regular efforts to relax.

But they'd come to an agreement. They'd come to several agreements, resulting in a fourteen-segment document that was copied to un-editable file drives.

She'd already understood something that Koramin and her grandmother hadn't seemed to.

The queen, specifically the Queen of Takka, was the one that took responsibility for interplanetary action.

That was it.

Whatever happened on the rest of Takka was none of her goddamn business.

Cora sat in the dining hall, miraculously alone for the first time in weeks. Today was a simple cabbage soup, with carrots cut into neat ovals. She gave the bowl a polite stir, trying not to clink the spoon against the porcelain as she did.

Well, she wasn't completely alone, but Mr. Shao wiping the counter wouldn't bother her.

Man, this is really good. It tasted like chicken, but there wasn't any.

After a taking a few bites of tender cabbage, Cora fished a piece of paper out of her robe pocket. They'd even found a nice case for her charcoal sticks after laundry complained about getting the stains out. It was copper, finely shaped and carved.

Cora doubted they'd found it. No matter who was involved, they always went above and beyond for her.

The second clue was her name carved on the back. Man, I feel like I could run a marathon.

She'd crash at some point.

Leaning her head against her hand, Cora drew stick figures, evenly spaced across the page. She was partially tempted to draw two of them together, but that didn't feel right. She drew them separately.

For starters, Tai.

She'd spoken enough to Mar to feel sure of his mental state.

Tor was the one she was particularly concerned with. He hadn't spoken much at all, instead following her around with a really weird look in his eyes.

Della had been completely MIA.

Cora wondered if she'd misinterpreted anything from them. Her concept of time with Takka's longer days and endless light weren't helping.

She flipped the paper, making several bullet points on the back. I need to block out time specifically to spend with them. I can't get sucked in like that again.

"What's that, Cora dear?"

Cora rolled her eyes, looking up at Koramin, seated opposite her. "I should have killed you harder. I know I need to sleep. Let me fix my life in peace."

Mr. Shao looked up at Cora.

"It's good!" She held the bowl up. "Thank you!"

He smiled, nodding once.

It was really good. Cora rose from the table, tucking away her writing and bringing the bowl to the window.

Time to sleep. And get this bitch off my back. She gave Koramin a dry glare as she passed her sitting at the table.

When she reached their quarters, the door was open just a crack.

All the kids but Mel were in the bed, sprawled in various positions across Tai and Tor.

Tor, half-asleep, was reaching across the bed to pat at an empty space. "Mel's out again."

"Want me to look for her?" Tai grumbled, shifting.

Cora smiled. "I'll go find her."

Before they could argue, she closed the door behind her. Mel hadn't gone far, and Della's scent was just as present as hers.

They were in the nursery. Tarina never had a particular smell to her when she didn't wear perfume, so Cora was surprised to peer in and find her holding Mel, snoring quietly.

Della sat in a chair adjacent to them, sitting as if on watch.

Mel was curled up tightly in her arms.

Cora knew from experience that Tarina was a light sleeper. Mel wouldn't be unsupervised if she woke up any time soon.

"Psst."

Della perked up, turning his head sharply to look at her. Cora tilted her head. Come on, she gestured.

He looked as tired as she felt.

As he exited the nursery, Cora pulled him left instead of right.

Tarina had taken a room in the attendant's residence, leaving the royal quarters completely unoccupied. They'd all been sleeping in guest quarters, avoiding making the move to the massive square bed and avoiding requesting their own bed be moved. Cora sat on the bed inside, making a quick note on her paper before patting the spot next to her.

Della crept into the bed, putting his head in her lap.

She knew he was just trying to hide his face. Still, Cora couldn't help but smile, tracing the curve of his cheekbone with a fingertip. "I wanted to talk to you, Della."

He snuggled further into her lap. "Yeah?"

"You didn't tell me the whole truth before."

She could feel him cringe, pressing his face into her leg. "I don't even remember what I told you. It was all... all fucked up."

Cora waited.

"I- I lied to Tai. He wanted them all dead. I didn't kill any of them."

"Good."

He turned over suddenly, looking up at her. "No, Cora, that's not good! They were gonna attack and I let... twenty-three of them live."

"I know you had a good reason." She ran a finger down his nose, watching his expression contort into despair.

"There were so many kids. Why should they get punished for what their parents were doing? Then I couldn't kill their parents, because who would take care of them? But I lied to Tai. If he finds out that I put you at risk-"

He cut himself off, looking up at Cora's serene smile.

He seemed so small. "I don't want to see him go ballistic again."

"What do you wish had happened instead?"

Della fidgeted with a seam on the front of Cora's shirt. "I wish Tor would have told him no. He would have listened then. But Tor wanted it too, I think, at first. We have so many guards here now. And... we don't even know if it was true. It was just one noble, showing up and saying an attack was coming."

"Do you know if that noble is still alive?"

Della tried to shrug. "His house was empty when we got there."

Cora made a mental note to follow up on this. "Don't worry about it anymore, okay, Della?"

She leaned down to kiss his head, but he tilted his chin up, his lips meeting hers. He'd never done that before.

"Oh," she gasped. The sudden rush was unexpected, but not unpleasant.

Sitting up and scooting back further, she bent down to kiss him again.

He shivered, intense desperation in the way his arms wound around her. She'd been too stressed out to think about or do anything else.

Until this particular moment.

It was confusing her, though, how worried Della looked. His cheeks were darkening, his gaze darting around the room. She ran a hand over the stiff fabric of his robe sleeve. "I'm surprised you're still wearing this."

She hadn't meant it in any particular way, but his face still darkened to match his cheeks and ears. "I- I- I can't take it off right now."

"Why?"

He looked down. Oh. It wasn't that Cora had forgotten she was pregnant, she had just gotten... Distracted.

Della clearly had as well.

He looked especially nervous as Cora began to help him shimmy out of his now very uncomfortable clothing. His dark blue freckles were almost invisible against his skin.

"What-"

She hushed him, palming over straining fabric. Under the robes were a pair of thickly woven underwear, necessary for his previous garb and necessary now, for a much more indecent reason.

Cora watched his face as she began to run her hand up and down the outline of his length. She wasn't sure what the others had been doing lately, but she knew heat had no bearing on everyday desires. Poor Della. Humming, she continued, watching as his back arched slightly, pressing himself into her hand.

She would never say this out loud, but Della was by far the prettiest of her mates. She loved the way he responded to her touch, the ragged stripes on his neck rippling over taut muscle as his head lolled back.

"Ah- Oh, no-"

"Mm, you poor thing." He was already twitching under her hand, and she hadn't even applied any particular pressure. She decided to switch tactics, tracing the outline of the head with her fingertips.

This didn't help. He let out a hoarse whine, his eyes rolling back before squeezing shut. "Fuck, Cora."

This would be messy, but she was having way too much fun.

Della clamped his hands over his mouth, his back arching hard as Cora drew tiny circles with her index finger. That was all it took.

She watched, a little jealous, as he came, the lightly colored fabric fighting a losing battle.

When he was done, still shaking, Cora leaned over to kiss him again. "Let me go get you some clean clothes."

He responded with a wheeze that sounded like thanks but caught her hand as she tried to leave.

"Please don't leave," he whispered, slightly opening one eye. "Yet."

She laid back down next to him.

Mar reached overhead, groaning. "Can I ask how this is supposed to help?"

Tabitha tapped her board against his bed rail as the doctor directed him to raise his arms further. "It's called physical therapy. Do you want to be stuck in this bed for the rest of your-" She shook her head. I have to be polite. "You want to be able to do more for your matriarch, yes?"

Mar frowned. He wasn't sure why, but he had never thought of Cora in that way, using that term. It wasn't wrong, she was, but it still felt weird. "I suppose."

They'd gotten him a chair, but he couldn't hold himself upright to use it yet.

The doctor turned to Tabitha, speaking in clear Zentrin. "I'm surprised she hasn't had him put down yet. An immobile mate in our court is quite the liability."

Tabitha's eyes widened and she wound up to swing her clipboard, furious.

"Cora wouldn't do that," responded Mar in equally clear Zentrin. His heart sank anyway.

"Oh, I didn't-"

Tabitha whacked the doctor over their head. "Let's put you down, first, then, you liability!"

The doctor turned a funky off-green color. "I apologize, I didn't know he could- Can you quit hitting me? I can't apologize if you-" Mar reached out, catching the edge of the board before Tabitha could raise it again.

"It's fine. Let's keep going."

As Cora led the exhausted Della into their quarters, she couldn't help but smile.

Almost everyone was there, even Leo and Erie.

Della claimed an empty patch on the edge as Cora crept into the middle of the pile. She ended up between Tor and Erie, happily getting into her usual tornado-drill sleeping position. It had become especially comfortable with her new... occupant.

For the first time, she let herself really think about it. Another baby. It would be different. They'd been with her this whole time, not just in a crate.

Not even Ray was sure what it would look like. Koramin had screwed around with not only her DNA, but Tarina's as well. Cora tried not to find it suspicious how excited he was. Like he'd known.

She tried to imagine what the baby would look like, starting to doze off as Jurassic Park came to mind.

Ray sat alone in his office.

He wasn't sure if he was being purposely excluded from meetings or not.

He hadn't been at the coalition negotiations, solely because of his own political ties.

It's not my fault that the Roshak matriarch is my aunt. They still think I'm dead. Crossing his arms, Ray looked over the files at his table. Cora's most recent health exam was closest.

She wasn't doing as well as he wanted, but Ray had seen the way the bruising continued to spread across Tai's jawline long after she'd left the room. He still hadn't had the privilege of personally seeing her in action.

He didn't want to, not even for science.

I can't fuck this up. She's all I have left, now.

Ray buried his face in his hands, peering through them at the sprawling map on the far wall. It was covered in warped grids, showing trade routes and spaceports superimposed over gravity flows.

Is she really all I have?

It would be months, rotations, before the plans went into motion.

Cora didn't mind this, since it gave her time to breathe.

Once more, she reviewed the notes she'd made, squared creases worn into the paper. I definitely need to spend more time with the kids.

She wasn't sure what she was feeling. It didn't feel like guilt. She would have preferred guilt.

What rattled around in her chest as she made her way to the nursery was panic.

Cora stopped just short of the doorway.

Actually, let me go check on Mar first.

Mar wasn't, for the first time in months, in his room. She went to the window, looking out over the courtyard. It took her a while to find him. Her first guess had been correct, but she'd ignored it in favor of checking everywhere else first. She wasn't sure she liked the possible reasoning for him being here, hidden from sight in the garden.

He had never been one for solitude before.

The hedges here were more like some kind of groundcover, trailing plants that twisted in on themselves to form shapeable masses around ornate metal wire cones. She followed the wall of foliage inward, coming to a shady alcove made between the hedging and the boundary wall, made of white stone.

"You shouldn't be this far from the doctors, Cora."

She crossed her arms, giving him the most disapproving frown she could manage. "Neither should you."

Mar was seated on the ground, leaning back against the wall. He'd gotten crutches, ones that braced around his lower set of arms.

He'd completely refused the wheelchair, muttering something about all-terrain movement.

Cora joined him on the ground. It took a few minutes, several swears, and some quiet complaining. Mar watched, annoyed.

"What?"

"You shouldn't be here. I can't help you at all if something happens."

Cora got irritated in return. "Is that all you're good for? I can't just enjoy your company?"

He threw his head back, making a dull thunk against the brick. "Just go. Please."

She was too hurt to argue.

Cora made it back inside, shutting herself in their empty quarters. She fell back against the wall, sliding to the floor as she fought tears. What's the point of all of this if they just hate me?

She jumped. Tai was standing in the doorway opposite her, motionless.

"Why are you so fucking quiet?" she sniffed, scrubbing her sleeve over her face. He opened his mouth to speak, closing it after a moment.

He stepped forward, sitting on the floor in front of her. "Did you try to go see Mar?"

She responded, hoarse and sullen. "How'd you know?"

"I- I hope I didn't make a mistake in saving him."

Cora met his gaze.

"I'm too old to be screwing up this much." He ran his hands over his head, his nails scraping audibly over the keratin. "Oh..."

He didn't look particularly old. Cora frowned, scrutinizing his appearance. He definitely had more creases around his eyes and mouth than the others, the striping on his neck gray around the edges. He had four kids, extensive medical training. And that was before he'd even started working with Mar.

The confident Tai she'd met years ago had evaporated, replaced with someone else.

"No. It's my fault."

She buried her face in her hands, her speech muffled. "You all should have just given me to the Foshar. I've been nothing but a risk and a burden since then. Mar would never have been there, never gotten attacked by the mutineers. All I've done is make stupid choices and now look at me. Everything is falling apart."

Before she could think, her own right hand darted out, seizing Tai's wrist.

"What was that?" She looked up at him, bewildered. She'd felt something impending, like a lightning strike. His fingers were curled in, tensed like he'd been ready to do something.

Cora met his gaze again, immediately regretting it. His eyes burned with some kind of raw, dull rage. She knew, in that moment, that it wasn't aimed at her.

"Don't you dare, Tai."

"It's my fault. And you're blaming yourself."

"Do I not hurt you enough, that you want to try and hurt yourself now?"

He slumped forward, groaning. "I need it."

"You need to sleep, Tai. Don't think I can't tell. If you really want me to hurt you, I will, but only if you've got the resources to heal after I do."

God, this was weird. Nobody was doing particularly well.

She scooped his face into her hands, surprised when he didn't flinch. The bruising had faded, leaving faint purple shadows that aligned neatly under her fingers. He relaxed, his weight sinking into her palms.

"How do you want me to hurt you?"

The way he looked up at Cora could have given her whiplash. Oh.

He mouthed his answer, his words only audible as he shakily exhaled.

Punish me, he'd said. Fix me.

Cora wondered what that would look like. She remembered the way pain had brought her back to her senses. Tai was the same, it seemed.

"Meet me in the royal quarters at the seventh. Okay? Rest now."

He nodded.

Cora had given herself half a day to figure out exactly what she needed to do. Maybe I'm overthinking it. The longer she thought about it, however, the more she regretted making any kind of plan without asking follow-up questions. She understood the intense feelings, the urge to injure, but she hadn't ever been quite off-kilter enough to ask someone else to do it. Certainly not in the way he had. This doesn't seem healthy at all.

"If you think any harder, Ray is going to come out here and yell at you for overexerting yourself," said Leo with amusement.

"God, you scared me."

"What's going on with Tai?"

"I was hoping someone else would tell me." Cora briefly considered telling him, but it didn't seem good for Tai's dignity. What little bit he had left, anyway.

Leo scanned the hallway. "Hmm. Let's go outside."

Today's solar index was brutal, but it was pleasant under the shades that stretched between the compound and the Crescent. Mar was probably still out here. It hadn't been long, and the way he was sitting had told Cora that he couldn't get up.

And Leo was leading her back down the hedge spiral, thinking they'd be alone.

"Psst. Wait." She caught him by his elbow. "Mar's back there."

"And what? Is he stuck?"

Cora shrugged. "Mentally, yeah. And, uh, probably physically, too."

Leo tiptoed up to the next curve, trying to peer around it. "You know," he spoke quietly. "I'm not trying to tell you how to be queen, but I think you could do that 'two birds, one stone' thing."

"With what? Like, in what way?"

"Let him help with the planning. He's completely out of the ring and I think it would help him feel useful. Especially with the Roshak objective."

Cora didn't know why she hadn't thought of this. It would suit him well.

"But don't bring it up now. He looks pissed."

Cora shook out her arms and shoulders. "Let's get him up like it's a totally normal thing."

"Us?" Leo made a face at her. "You're not lifting anything."

"When you two are finished, I would like some fucking help back here."

"Damn it, Leo." Cora rounded the corner, already annoyed again. "They crushed your lungs, not your brain. You better straighten up your attitude or your stubborn ass is getting left out here."

"You should have left me to begin with!" He shouted, making her jump. Leo had started to come around the curve but immediately spun back around it. He waited awkwardly, shuffling his feet.

Cora did not like his tone. "Like hell we would have done that! What, you want everyone else to raise your kid while you get to be dead?"

"Oh, so you can have a disagreement without injuring someone. Interesting!"

"Look at you, changing the subject. You're not slick. You think we can't tell what you're trying to get out of? Is the thought of being a parent that scary to you? You were more than happy-"

"Don't you dare act like that was solely my decision, not after how hard I worked to try to stop myself. And I'm not the only one avoiding being a parent, either."

"Hard? Hard? You didn't tell anyone you'd run out of suppressants, tried to hide it, then when everything finally started to get better you threw yourself into a trap! I couldn't do some dumb shit like that if I tried!"

"You threw yourself off a walkway while holding your child," He responded dryly.

Her hands shook, words tumbling out of her mouth. "Oh, well fuck me if I didn't know Port Sixteen was like that. I never would have BEEN there had SOMEBODY not taken me off Earth in the first place!"

"Always back to blaming us. You-

"Always? Always? I've done my absolute best to give you airheaded jackasses the benefit of the doubt-"

The hedge scoffed and she turned to snap at it. "Not you, Leo. My best, because unfortunately I can't imagine a life without any of you! I'm stuck with some of the most bullheaded dipshits I've ever met and you, all because I had to go and get attached! I'd die for any of you and- and- and I'd live for you, but it seems like that doesn't go both ways! If I didn't know any better, I'd think you wanted to die not knowing your kid's name, just like you don't know your own!" His expression went blank.

Cora's blood pressure was a bit too high to care if she'd gone too far.

"Tor told you?"

"I had to ask because while you were busy trying to die, we were planning for a future you seem to have no interest in! Unless you want him to grow up nameless like you?"

"How dare you? You have no idea how-"

Cora stomped forward, standing over him and cutting him off with a snarl. "How dare I? How dare you try to leave us? Your childhood wasn't anybody here's fault! You're going to get the fuck up and you're going to help us plan to get Roshak back-"

He raised his chin. "When it's not even your home."

Cora was in his face now, her temper reaching boiling point. She jabbed her finger at his forehead, avoiding his still-fragile chest. "My home is wherever you are, motherfucker. And you don't die unless I fucking tell you to."

She whirled around, storming off before she made things worse.