The Talk with My Wife

This is one of my stories that started in a dream. When I sat down to write it I had a thought how it was going to play out. But somehow as I typed, the story morphed into something different.

There isn't any real sex.

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I wanted to talk to my wife and I had a plan, like a series of chess moves mapped out.

I was sitting at our kitchen table waiting for my wife to get home from work, a glass of scotch in my hand and a glass of wine waiting for her. I usually wouldn't be home for another hour and the look of shock on Jesse's disheveled face was amusing.

"We need to talk Jesse."

"Does it have to be now Jack, you know I meet the girls on Friday night and I have to get cleaned up. Can we talk when I get home or tomorrow morning?"

I could smell her sex from across the room, maybe her lover's come was dripping down her leg or filling her panties.

"You'll be too drunk when you get home and I won't be here in the morning."

"Are you going to take your camper out for a test ride?"

Jesse was looking all smug with herself. I never told her about the camper, I wasn't trying to hide it either. It was just easier to leave it at the dealership until I was ready to head out. I did wonder how she knew but I had a lot more pieces and moves in this little chess game.

Jesse was uncomfortable as she sat down. I wondered where her lover's come was ending up, squished between her ass cheeks maybe.

"Please let me take a quick shower Jack?" I nodded okay. Her smell was making me nauseous

After her shower, Jesse asked, "Why are you home so early anyway Jack?"

"I retired this afternoon Jesse, it was a nice ceremony." Score a big one for me.

"Why didn't you tell me Jack, I would have loved to have been there."

"Our kids were there for me, if our granddaughter gets any cuter my heart will burst the next time I see her." Another score for me.

"You invited the kids and not me Jack?"

"Do you really think I would have wanted you there? Besides, I know Friday afternoons are your fuck fest with John and I didn't want you to disappoint him." A big score for me.

"I ended it with him today Jack."

"I know, like you're planning on ending it with George tonight. Let me make sure I got your message to John right, 'I need to stop seeing you, I need to put my marriage right. Jack and I will be retiring soon and I want to spend my golden years with him.' How did John take it? Our daughter Kate almost wet herself she was laughing so hard when she read it."

Jesse stood up and slammed her fists on the table, "What the fuck have you done Jack, you brought our kids into this?" Jesse was trying to rally, a couple of more moves and it would be time for check mate

"This is the anniversary of you first twist with Paul, or the first one I knew about. Kate figured it out. She saw you enter a hotel, I think you were still fucking Paul then. She told her brothers and the three of them came to tell me. Of course I already knew."

Jesse sat back down, trying to plot her next move. I was enjoying the moment. I had waited a year for this moment, retired and shedding the drunken slut I married. It had been two years since we were intimate, Jesse was usually drunk by nine and she was an ugly drunk. I guess she looked better in the bars where she met her lovers or maybe they had lower standards. When she first started hooking up with Paul I moved into the guest room.

"So now what Jack, I need to go meet George as you know?"

"George won't be meeting you tonight, I think. He's having a similar conversation with his wife Cindy about now, or maybe she will throw him out. She was undecided that last time I spoke to her."

"Jack, she didn't need to know, you're ruining their marriage." I know I flinched in anger. A point for Jesse. I was trying to compose myself but that was going to be impossible. It was my turn to stand up and bang the table.

"Yes she did need to know that her husband was out fucking my slut wife who was fucking multiple other men. Who knows what kind of diseases she picked up, actually she does know since she got tested after my warning and she has three STIs and I bet you have at least those three. And which one of us truly ruined their marriage. Me or the whore sitting across from me?"

I sat back down, embarrassed the I let a year's worth of anger begin to escape. Jesse was crying now, I was curious as to why, but I scored another couple of pawns.

She looked at her hands, fidgeting with her fingers. "I know I fucked up Jack, you don't have to call me names, the same names I call myself when I look in the mirror. That's why I was ending it with John and George, I couldn't stand to look at myself anymore?"

Jesse peeked my curiosity.

"What led to this realization Jesse, I'm curious?"

"I quit drinking Jack, you haven't noticed that I haven't touched this glass of wine, nor have I touched any other alcohol in weeks. It took awhile for me to dry out, especially when I realized what I had become, oh I wanted another drink so bad. You and our kids may have laughed at my intent to put our marriage right, but that was sincere. The hope that I would spend my golden years with you gave me the strength to stop cold turkey although I missed a few days of work with the shakes."

I had not realized Jesse had stopped drinking, now it was time for me to regroup.

"Why Jesse?"

"Why what Jack, why did I drink myself into a coma every night or why did I start fucking around. Same answer for both really, as with most women you reach that age where you're not attractive anymore. As a woman, your whole sense of self-worth as a kid is being the pretty princess, and then the gorgeous cheer leader and then the beautiful bride. For a woman, her looks are everything, men hold doors for you, cops let you go with a warning, a smile to the waiter gets you better service. And then like a switch, it all stops. You think it's never going to change but it does, in a heartbeat. My friend cried for an hour when she got her first speeding ticket. Waiters don't make eye contact with me anymore and I'm lucky if someone holds a door open for me. So I drowned my sorrows in a bottle of wine or bottles of wine and even you stopped finding me attractive."

"And then I went out with the girls from work, and there were men that did find me attractive. I felt so special, I gushed like I was in high school again. There were a couple of guys before Paul, one night stands that left me racked with guilt. But a bottle of wine certainly eases guilt."

"I saw the papers on the chair next to you, is there where you serve me with divorce papers? Is that your end game here? Is this where I become the ugly ex-wife?"

"That was my plan Jesse."

"I'm asking you to hold onto them. I know I fucked up and I'm afraid I'll fall apart without you. I'll put in my retirement papers on Monday and lets just try and make the dreams of our golden years come true. If I fuck up, serve with the divorce papers and I won't fight it, you can have everything, house, retirement plans, everything. I'll walk away with nothing. Have your lawyer draft up papers saying the same and I'll sign them. There's no risk to you."

"And what, you get to fuck around for a year and there's no repercussions?" I said as I stood up and bang the table again. The audacity of her to think I would still want to be with her, to overlook her yearlong fuck fest with other men. A whole lot of anger came out with those few words along with some spittle. Jesse recoiled back in her chair.

"I wish there were no repercussions Jack, go fuck around, I'm sure Cindy would throw you a revenge fuck and so would John's wife. And after you do it, look at yourself in the mirror and tell me there's no repercussions because I feel like a dumb slut with no self-respect every time I look in the mirror."

All of a sudden, I was the one on the ropes with my king running away, what the fuck just happened. Jesse was looking at me, tears streaming down her face. Twenty minutes ago I hated her with every fiber of my body. All those times she came home, too drunk to realize some man's come was in her hair, or on her face or dripping down her leg because she lost her panties again. Or the nights the ride share dropped her off with her tits hanging out. Unlike when we were younger, after a certain amount of wine, Jesse would fuck anybody and everybody and John and George would take advantage of her. I must have a dozen videos that John, George and Jesse shared with each other, a very drunk Jesse getting fucked by multiple men. How many men actually fucked her, I'm sure she has no idea.

And now I was feeling sorry for her and wanted to go over an hug her. My mind went into a fucking loop. What happened to my plan? Check mate was in sight. What happened to the anger that surged through my body only seconds ago.

"I'll sleep on it Jesse, we can talk again in the morning."

"That's fair Jack, I couldn't ask for more. But I will still put my papers in on Monday and I don't want this house or to stay in the area. The little girl who wanted to grow up so prim and proper is too embarrassed to show her face in this town. And I'm too embarrassed to show my face to my children."

"What about the STI's Jesse, are you going to get treated."

"Welcome to my big wakeup call. I already knew about them and I'm being treated. John and George know. You don't know how embarrassing it is to fill out the forms so the department of public health can notify your lovers and you don't even know the number, let alone names or even faces. When I fuck up, I fuck up."

Jesse got up and dumped her glass of wine along with the rest of the bottle. She came back to the table with a glass of V8 juice.

"This shit is supposed to help detox you body, I can't see any other reason why someone would drink it. Where are you planning on heading with the camper?"

I grabbed my map out of my briefcase and started showing her my planned waterfall tour. We discussed the different stops I had planned, the different waterfalls and the hikes needed to see them. We were sitting next to each other, our legs were actually touching, and the animosity of the last few years was gone.

Jesse and I were so busy talking that we didn't realize our daughter Kate had walked in with our granddaughter.

"I didn't know what I expected to find but it certainly wasn't this," she said as she handed the baby off to Jesse. The baby wasn't really a baby anymore since she was almost three years old, but she loved her grandma.

I stammered for a bit. After my retirement ceremony, I had discussed my plans for serving Jesse with divorce papers that evening with Kate and her brothers. They were very supportive, only asking why I waited so long. There was something about Kate's smugness that told me this is what she expected to find.

Kate joined Jesse and I at the table and I went through my map again. I was very proud of my map. As Mary Shelly said, "Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose--a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye." And for the last year, developing this map tranquilized my mind. I would sit down to work on it without realizing that hours had passed when I stood up. I felt like a little kid, showing his friends what he got for Christmas. My excitement was contagious.

We ended up ordering pizza and the four of us sat around the kitchen table talking about waterfalls. It was the first time in year that Jesse and Kate shared a table. Even during the recent holiday celebrations, Kate had chosen to spend them with her husband's family.

There was a pause in the conversation and Jesse turned to Kate and said, "Jack told me that you found it funny that I needed to put my marriage right so I could spend my golden years with him. I am serious, I quit drinking a few weeks ago, without alcohol to dull me senses I realized what I had become. Quitting drinking was hard, not just because of the physical addiction, but the embarrassment of all the memories that resurfaced made me want to hit the big reset button. The dream of spending my golden years with your father was the only thing that saved me. I'm guessing your angry at the pain I caused your father or embarrassed by my actions, and you have every right to be, so am I."

Kate got up and began pacing the room. Finally she said, "In this matter I will stand behind what ever my father decides. Yes, I am angry and embarrassed by what you've been doing. What has really been killing me is why you and not me, am I not my mother's daughter, bound to make the same mistakes. What's to keep me from embarrassing my daughter?"

"Like I told your father, women become unattractive as they age, it happens to all of us. How you choose to handle it is all up to you. My first or biggest mistake was to start drinking as I mourned the death of my beauty. There's plenty of literature out there, like 'What happens to the beautiful princess when she ages out,' or something like that. And then once I started drinking, I started making bad choices followed by deep depression which led to more bad drinking and worse choices. There's a lot of guidance out there, go see a counselor instead of a glass of wine."

"So what about you two, I saw you when I came in, I haven't seen you two sitting that close in years. Are you two now all kissy kissy and ready to drive off in dad's camper together to enjoy your golden years?" Kate was still pacing.

"That's what I want Kate and have wanted even before I quit drinking. I asked your father for another chance..."

"You want another chance after all the men you fucked? I've seen the videos mom, my own mother getting gang banged. Black men, white men, Asian and Latino, all lined up to fuck one of your holes. My mom getting doubled team by two black guys and most of the men were fucking fat and ugly. Did you enjoy that?" It was Kate's turn to be spiting mad.

"I don't remember most of that and what I do remember horrifies me more than it horrifies you. And yes Kate, I want another chance, that's what I want. I asked your father to hold off divorcing me, I agreed to sign a post nuptial agreement giving up any claim to our assets if I fuck up again or if I even drink again. He wants to sleep on it. Did I miss anything important Jack?"

"No Jesse, but I think it's important that Kate understands that traveling around the country in a camper had been our dream retirement for a long time. I still plan on doing that. The question is will your mother join me, part of me would prefer she did. Your mother and I functioned very well as a couple until her drinking took over. I want to sleep on that question."

"Could you ever be intimate again with her dad?" That brought Jesse's tears back.

"One question at a time Kate. We don't have to solve world hunger today."

I gave Jesse a hug, she buried her face in my shoulder. Our granddaughter climbed back into Jesse's lap. And the three of us hugged.

Kate was shaking her head as she took her daughter and left. Jesse said she was going to bed and she would see me in the morning.

I ended up back at the kitchen table with a fresh glass of scotch in my hand wondering what happened to my plan. Jesse was on the ropes, I was two moves away from check mate. Was I outplayed, if so how was I outplayed. After rerunning the evening a dozen times I was not any closer.

George's wife Cindy sent me a text. "I threw George out, he tried putting all the blame on Jesse which made me angrier. It was obvious from some of the videos that Jesse was inebriated and therefore wasn't responsible for some of her actions. I told George he was a despicable human being and I was embarrassed that he was the father of my children. I am going to make sure his children know how despicable he is. How did you make out with Jesse?"

"It didn't go according to my plan," I responded.

"I didn't think it would Jack. I've known you guys for a long time and you two mesh so perfectly. You're still in love with her and now that she stopped drinking maybe it will work out. If not, please call me. You were always the hottest husband in our little group and I'm claiming dibs. Your plan was very logical but logic is the first casualty of love.