The Last Bird of Youth Has Flown

This is the story of Leslie, from The Last Birth of Youth Flying Away. So, the story is nothing new, except for the perspective and the details of Leslie's life.

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Leslie's sister complained to their two brothers, "The little princess never gets punished. We get grounded, we get spanked for the least little thing. But when the princess does it, IT'S OKAY!"

The complaints from Brenda Lewis went beyond those about punishments. "A PONY! The little princess gets a pony! We couldn't even get a dog!" Little Princess Leslie had the most elaborate birthday parties, complete with magicians and bouncy houses and twenty-five guests, while Brenda and her brothers got cake and ice cream with the family. And the presents! Whatever the princess wanted, she got. Brenda often summed it up for her brothers, "It so UNFAIR!"

Leslie was five years younger than her, seven and eight years behind her brothers, and her parents desperately wanted more children after the first three. Three times in those intervening years, miscarriages had destroyed their hopes, and Brenda's parents had become increasingly depressed. When Leslie finally arrived after a long and tense pregnancy and a torturous birth, they were overjoyed.

Leslie always knew she was special. Daddy doted on her, his youngest child, especially when she would crawl up into his lap. Duncan Lewis loved showing her off, and letting people see what a close relationship they had. Leslie was also the exact image of Duncan's beloved older sister, who had exited his world when he was eleven. He still missed her.

His wife Vivian worried about Leslie being spoiled, but truthfully, she rarely tried to restrain her husband's generosity to their youngest. Vivian had wanted to have at least ten kids. For most people, that would sound ridiculous in this day and age, but Vivian had 11 siblings, and both her parents came from large families in Ukraine. She'd dreamed of her own large family from childhood and had ambitiously selected 10 male and 10 female names for her future children. Unfortunately, complications with little Leslie's birth meant only four children for Vivian, and she buried her disappointment and sadness by lavishing all the love she had for those six lost children on her baby girl, Leslie.

So little Leslie led a privileged childhood, with never a raised voice, let alone a raised hand, directed at her. Undoubtedly, she was spoiled, but due to a naturally sweet nature, it was nowhere near as bad as one would expect.

Reality struck in the 9th grade, her last year of Junior High, when on a dare from her girlfriends, she kissed a boy on the playground. In was just a quick, fleeting kiss on the cheek, innocent in the general scheme of things, but PDA's were forbidden and the playground monitor had observed it. Leslie giggled when she was given detention and told her parents would be notified.

When she got home that afternoon, her mother expressed her disappointment in her daughter, counseling her that young ladies didn't indulge in public displays of any kind. Leslie hung her head and said, "Yes, mommy. I'm sorry." That would be the end of it, she believed.

What she didn't anticipate was her father's reaction. The anger he directed at his "little princess" seemed out of proportion to her offense.

Teeth clenched and red faced, Duncan, for the first time in her life, yelled at his adored daughter, scaring her. "You're not going to slut around the school like Alea!" Leslie was trying to figure out what a lea was when her father grabbed her arm, pulling her over his knee as he sat down. The harsh and forceful action terrified the girl, who had never known her father to be rough with her. She screamed with terror as her father's hand descended on her bottom, once, twice, three times. Leslie was so miserable and shocked she lost count of the slaps on her butt.

As she screamed and wailed, she saw her mother in the doorway, eyes wide and hand over her mouth, as shocked as her daughter at the punishment. At the mother's side, peering around her with a look of glee on her face, was Brenda, who had returned from college for the weekend, with her bag of laundry.

But while Brenda reveled in the little princess finally getting hers, her smile disappeared as the blows continued beyond the 10 maximum to which her father always held. It wasn't until he had doubled that number that Duncan unceremoniously shoved the weeping girl off his knee onto the floor. "Go to you room and stay there until I tell you to come out," he commanded. Sobbing heavily, Leslie slowly rose and then rushed to her room.

Duncan looked at his wife in the doorway, tears on his cheeks. "She can't," he said, "I won't let her."

Vivian dashed into the room, closing the door in Brenda's face. Putting her ear to the door, the daughter heard her mother speak to Duncan.

Vivian had rushed to gather her husband into her arms, while pressing his head against her breast. "She's not Alea, Duncan. She's not your sister. You shouldn't be so hard on her."

Sister? Brenda wondered. Her father had no siblings, unlike her mother.

"But this is how it started, Vivian. Doing things she shouldn't. Do I wait until she's giving blowjobs in the boy's bathroom or letting men touch her?" Brenda listened as her father gave a heavy sob. "Ally was in the eighth grade when she started, too."

"Leslie is not Alea, Duncan. All she did was kiss a boy's cheek, on a dare." His wife hugged him tightly. "Brenda kisses her boyfriends -- that's never bothered you. Why did this?"

Brenda thought snidely, "Because I'm not his little princess!"

"Brenda's never done anything inappropriate. I know our children have to date, but.... Ally did things she shouldn't, and Leslie looks just like her. Whenever I look at her, I see Alea." He wiped his eyes. "And now she's acting just like her." He paused and looked at his wife. "How do we know she hasn't done more? How do we stop her?"

When her mother suggested that they send her to the all-girl's St. Agnes High School, Brenda almost giggled with glee. St. Agnes's was known for its nuns and their harsh disciple. "Just what the princess needs," she thought.

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Brenda kept the secret of Alea to herself, not telling Leslie or her brothers. She would return to college, happy with the knowledge that Leslie's life of privilege was coming to an end.

Throughout the summer, Leslie walked on eggshells around her now temperamental father. She learned to keep her eyes down and answer with a minimal "Yes, sir" or "No, sir" whenever possible. She didn't understand her father's anger. She didn't understand how she had lost her father's love.

Over her summer vacation, Leslie's relationship with her father seemed to improve. She was his princess again, and it was almost like before that "kiss", but not quite. He paid greater attention to her friends and regulated with whom she could visit. She was forbidden to visit with or even talk to the girls who had dared her to kiss the boy. He blamed them for her fall from grace. They were her best friends, and she missed them over the summer, but looked forward to starting 10th grade at the senior high school with them. Her father couldn't stop her from seeing them at school.

At summer's end, she was looking forward to being away from her daddy's disapproving eyes. It was then she learned about her new school, when her mother presented her with the St. Agnes uniforms.

Her new school was highly regulated. Saint Agnes was a convent school, a four-year high school. The nuns had an assembly each morning, where prayers and announcements were shared, following which the various classes were lined up and marched to class. To Leslie, it seemed strangely subdued and depressing. The two hundred girls who made up the student body had risen as one and moved to their place in line, in silence. None of the good-natured chatter that had filled the halls of her former school.

The silence continued through the morning, although Leslie notices some girls quickly whispering or passing notes. Unless a student was addressed by a teacher, there was no talking while moving between classes or in the classes themselves. Leslie, a naturally upbeat and buoyant person, spent the morning with her head down, hoping that the tears in her eyes would escape notice. The oppressive, controlled environment was suffocating. For her, it was like being in prison. Generally, she was ignored by the other students and admonished by the nuns for not paying attention to the work on the chalkboard.

A blonde girl, who seemed to be in most of her classes, caught her eye and grin encouragingly, accompanied by a saucy wink. Almost immediately, her face returned to its normally solemn visage, but Leslie had to bite back a smile at the girl's friendly gesture.

It wasn't until lunch, when the girls seemed to come alive and the noise from their voices rolled over the school like a tidal wave of sound. Suppressed all morning, the girls seemed determined to make up for their enforced silence, while the nuns looked on, disapprovingly.

Leslie felt overwhelmed by the cacophony of sound, standing almost frozen with her lunch tray in her hand, while she looked for a place to sit in the crowded lunch hall. Feeling a tug on her sweater, she turned to find the blonde girl behind her.

"Over here," the girl said. "We've saved you a seat." Gratefully, she joined the blonde and her friends at their table.

The girl smiled at Leslie. "I'm Sue. Sister Lagrimas asked me to show you around."

"Sister Lagrimas? I've never heard of a saint Lagrimas." The name puzzled Leslie.

One of the other girls spoke up. "It means tears. You'd think it was her tears, but we all think it's the tears she enjoys making us shed."

"Hush," gently chided Sue. "It's a name to honor St. Monica, who's tears rescued her son, St. Augustine, from the clutches of Satan."

The girls got quiet, and Leslie picked at her food. To fill the silence, she asked, "Why'd she ask you to show me around?"

The other girl snorted. "Because she's the nuns' pet. They think she's the closest to a nun or a student saint that they have."

Looking at Sue, she was struck by the saintly, serene pose the girl had adopted, with a peaceful, yet sad smile. Leslie thought it looked like the pictures of saints that hung around the school.

"So, what crime brought you here," Sue asked with a smile.

"I kissed a kid, on the cheek." Leslie responded. "On the school playground."

The girls all looked at her, shocked. Leslie thought that they were easily shocked. Her second thought was that her father would probably approve of these friends. She was quickly dissuaded of that idea.

"THAT'S IT?" the blonde asked. "No drugs or alcohol, no smoking, no shoplifting, you weren't caught naked with the boy you kissed?" Then her eyes grew big, and she broke out her grin when she wanted to know, "OR WAS IT A GIRL YOU WERE KISSING?"

All the girls laughed at that, and Leslie laughed along with them. Her denials aside, the suggestion seemed to please the others. Leslie explained her father's over-the-top reaction, but the girls just smiled and made air kisses at her. But that's how she met the girl who would be her best friend, Sue. She asked Leslie to meet after school.

"Your father sounds a lot like mine," the saintly student said. "I think maybe we can help each other."

"How?" and with what, Leslie wondered.

"Look, how many friends are you allowed, outside school." Sue asked.

Leslie almost choked up thinking about it. "Currently, none. My father won't let me see any of my old friends."

"I'm in the same boat, but I think our fathers share the same attitude. But with my 'saint' act, maybe your father will let us be friends." The girl struck a saintly pose again, this time with a satisfied smile.

"Saint act? What?" Leslie inquired. "Aren't you going to be a nun?"

"Hell, no." the girl exclaimed. "No way. I was sent to this prison because at the beginning of last year daddy caught me naked with a Junior from my old high school. Faster than you can say, 'I'm fucked,' I was transferred to St. Agnes and shut off from all my old friends. It took me all last year," her voice changed to a solemn tone, "to 'convert' to this devout girl pining to dedicate her life to the Lord." She grinned impishly. "But now my parents and the nuns both eat it up.

"The only problem, is I'm lonely." Now Leslie thought Sue's grin resembled that of the big bad wolf.

"It wasn't a girl I kissed, Sue. I'm not gay," she insisted.

"Neither am I," said the blonde. "But don't you miss having a close friend?"

Sue arranged for Leslie's parents to be invited by her parents to dinner. As expected, the fathers found each other to be kindred spirits, as least as far as their two daughters were concerned, and Duncan thought the saintly girl was a perfect companion for his "wild" daughter. They were allowed to be friends outside school, going shopping together and having frequent visits to each other's homes.

Duncan drew the line there. The girls weren't allowed any nighttime contact outside the home visits, unless accompanied by their parents or an approved chaperone. No movies, no concerts, and no sleepovers, without supervision. With little other contact outside of school with kids their age, the two bonded as best friends.

As graduation approached their senior year, Sue, who as a natural schemer always played the long game, began "questioning" her vocation as a nun. While it disappointed both her father and the convent, it was decided that she should experience college before taking her vows. So, as Sue and Leslie headed off to the university, she shed her saintly disguise. She was eager to share a dorm room with Leslie. Although she'd only seen the girl naked in the locker room, it definitely piqued her interest.

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While both girls look forward to the freedom of college, away from the watch eyes and controlling nature of their parents, it was unfortunately still too close to home. Their parents managed to continue their watchful eye on the girls' activities. When they attended a frat party, that first week of freshman year, where even Sue was uncharacteristically shy, both received warning calls, while at the party, from their fathers about 'loose' behavior, which in this case only amounted to sibbing a beer and watching people dance. The girls immediately left and returned to their dorm room, crushed by the prospect of remaining under the heavy hands of their fathers.

But how? Did they have a private investigator watching them? Were there dorm mates who were being paid by Duncan to report on the girls? How?

Brenda, her older sister, had kept in contact with classmates at the university who were still there, studying for master's degrees or doctorates and had them spy on her little sister. She delighted in reporting Leslie's attendance at the frat party to her father. She laughingly referred to her sister now as "the little princess in the tower." She was delighted that the "little princess" status was now a burden to her sister, but was still resentful that her father didn't think enough of Brenda herself to regulate her social life, as he had Leslie's. She knew it was perverse; she relished the sex life she enjoyed with her boyfriend but still wondered why her father didn't love her enough to demand her purity, like he had with Leslie. She was jealous of the control Duncan maintained over Leslie. It fueled her hatred of her sister to new heights. Her mother tried to explain that Duncan saw in Leslie the image of a beloved older sister, who had been seduced into a wanton lifestyle of sex and drugs and had been disowned by her family. Duncan missed his sister still, had nightmares where she was an abused prostitute or an OD victim in some flop house. There were many nights when Vivian had to hold her husband until he sobbed himself back to sleep. He was determined to save Leslie from that fate.

Her mother told Brenda that her father saw in her the image of his wife, Vivian herself, and he believed that Brenda would always be a moral being. Brenda pondered that while enjoying a threesome with her boyfriend and his bisexual lover that evening. She supposed it was a good thing. Maybe her father did love her.

Leslie was crushed by the continuing control by her parents. She had thought she was free, but she had apparently just changed one cage for another. When she cried on Sue's shoulder, that here they were 18, in college, and the only boy, no, the only person she had ever kissed was the boy on the playground. Sue smiled, hugged her, and said, "Leslie, we're free in this room. No one will ever know what goes on here."

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So it was that over that first semester, Sue introduced Leslie to masturbation and cunnilingus. In the quiet of the night, sharing a bed, Sue's hands ran over Leslie's body with an expert touch. Leslie's protests of being heterosexual were pushed aside with the assurance that Sue herself was hetero but needed some relief. And if it felt this good, how wrong could it be?

Leslie admitted that the cunnilingus was life-changing, and although she doubted Sue's hetero assurances, she ended up reciprocating the pleasure that Sue offered. She found homosexual activities off-putting but was unwilling to forego all sexual pleasure. She craved human contact, delighted in the orgasms which were far beyond those masturbation could provide for her, and regarded having to return Sue's caresses and 'tongue-lashings' as a necessary repayment for the pleasures she received.

The night Sue destroyed her hymen with a vibrating dildo was life changing for Leslie. Being fingered and receiving oral sex had given her great pleasure, but the penetrative action was mind blowing for the young girl. She began staring at men's crotches and dreaming of being taken by one (or more) men. She'd sit in class and squeeze her thighs together as her panties grew damp. She'd awaken in the night, sweating and panting, as wonderous images of heterosexual activities dominated her dreams.

Sue's smile broaden, and she bought a strap-on, through the internet.

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When Sue decided to spend spring break at a convent retreat, Leslie couldn't believe it. Then her friend asked Leslie's parents to allow the girl to accompany her. Leslie was horrified. She didn't want to spend her vacation on her knees, praying with a bunch of religious fanatics. When her parents insisted that she go, feeling that it would place their daughter beyond temptation, Leslie became livid with her friend.

After her parents loaded her into Sue's car and waved as they drove away, Leslie rounded angrily at her friend, "What the hell, Sue? A convent? For spring break? I fucking hate you, girl. I told you when you first brought it up that you could forget me. Then you pull this shit!"

"Relax, Leslie. You'll like the nuns; they're really cool. And on the retreat, we forbidden contact with the outside world. No phones, no computers. For the next two weeks, we can pray for our parents, but they can't reach us." Sue finished, laughing happily.

When Sue took the turn off for the airport, Leslie was confused. "Where is this convent? We've going to fly there?"

"Oh," Sue looked surprised. "Didn't I tell you? We're going to the Convent of Our Laid-dee-dee of South Padre Island, for two weeks beyond our parents' reach! And we'll get Laid-dee-deed!"

So began the annual trips. It was all "religious retreats" in college, but after graduation, as they moved into the adult world, they became vacation trips to foreign destinations. No need to tell her folks about the companionships they developed on these trips. Leslie had two weeks every year to cram with enough heterosexual activity to get her through the rest of the year.

Leslie lost her true virginities on South Padre Island, in a hedonistic celebration of lust for male companionship where she appeared to be trying to make up for all the years suppressed by her father's heavy hand. Even Sue, who had been sneaking male companionship for some time already, was impressed but rather shocked by Leslie's voracious nymphomania, her desperate appetite for the male appendage. And truthfully, Sue was a little jealous and frustrated when she was unable to get any one-on-one time with Leslie. All Leslie's time was taken up with male "companionship".

Ironically, the girl who didn't want to spend her spring break on her knees, spent a good portion of it that way and loved it. She didn't have much to say, as her mouth was usually otherwise involved.

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As the college years passed, Sue learned how to structure their "convent retreats" to included orgy scenes where she and Leslie were likely to have some interaction. At the same time, Vivian was able to convince Duncan that Leslie needed to have some social activities if she was to have a normal life. Vivian asked Duncan if he really wanted his beloved daughter to be a nun, or did he, like her, dream of having grandchildren from all their offspring?

So, albeit with a long list of restrictions and warnings, Leslie was allowed to date, finally, her last two years of college. It was on one of these dates that she met Steve and fell in love. Although her father's restrictions and her sister's spies limited their activities, she was sure that this was the one, the man she was destined to be with. Passionate kisses and fumbling in the car were their only outlet, but Steve was willing to wait for more -- like Leslie, he was sure that he'd met the One.

To Leslie's shame, she was unable to forego the "convent retreat" her Senior year, or the spring trips to foreign ports after graduation, all the while keeping Steve at arm's length. Sue convinced her that she needed the outlet, and that she should live while she could. Steve would be there in the future. She felt guilty denying Steve while she indulged her appetites on these trips, but as Sue said, since their two-week trips had to fulfill their hetero desires for a whole year, how could she deny herself the pleasure?

During her senior year, Leslie shyly invited Steve up to her room. Her sister was off on her own honeymoon, and her sister's friends had by then left the college. Her father seemed to feel that at twenty-one, Leslie was now a wholesome young woman. His attitude towards his daughter relaxed. Leslie now felt comfortable in having sexual relations with Steve.

When Duncan and Vivian first met Steve, he was not the type of person they had imagined for their daughter. A poor young man without connections, Vivian wondered what Leslie could possibly see in this young man. She found herself wondering if he bought his clothes at Walmart or Target. She shivered.

Duncan wondered if this was someone who would lead his daughter astray. Leslie assured him that Steve was a religious young man who always treated her with respect, and although raised by an impoverished single mother (a bastard? thought Duncan), Steve had already purchased his own home and was highly valued by his company. He had a solid future and, "Daddy, I love him." Leslie insisted.

When Duncan expressed his fear that Leslie might have already lost her virginity to this interloper, Vivian calmed him, assuring him that today this was a natural progression, and not something that compared to his sister Alea's wanton ways. She also convinced her husband that they had raised a moral and religious daughter, and it was time to trust her judgement. After Steve proposed, Duncan put aside his fears for his daughter. Steve mightn't have been his choice, but marriage was honorable, and he looked forward to grandchildren. Still, he insisted on a long engagement. Trust but verify, he believed, and tried to get to know Steve.

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Sue still convinced Leslie to take the spring trips, but Leslie felt so guilty after the first trip after college that although she accompanied Sue and the girls on the following year, she excused herself before the orgies began. She was determined to be true to Steve. Additionally, she withdrew sexually from Sue, as well. She felt that now she belonged to Steve. Their mating, although very vanilla compared to the orgies of the spring trips, satisfied Leslie's needs. Plus, she found that making love was more satisfying than the random poundings that made up the spring bacchanals. And if she never had to taste another woman, well it would still be too soon for her. It was truly something she hadn't enjoyed.

Sue began to resent Steve; Steve the wimp who had been happy for over a year to wait for Leslie, Steve who understood when girlfriend said she was "saving herself for marriage." Steve who now had her friend in his bed. Steve who made Sue want to hurl.

But she smiled and acted friendly, knowing she would lose Leslie if she alienated Steve. So, she remained friendly, while her feelings for Leslie soured with jealousy and she began planning revenge on the pair, the boy who stole her lover and the lover who now rejected her.

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"You've got to come! It's the last of your youth before your marriage! And you love the Newberry Five, and we'll be partying with the band!" Sue exclaimed to Leslie.

"Sue, you know I'm getting married in three months, and I'm staying true to Steve." Leslie resisted her friend. "I'm not 'partying' with the band, by which I know you mean fucking them! I'm already off the pill, since Steve and I plan to have kids right away."

"Leslie, I'm your friend. If you don't want to have sex with the band, I promise you I'll make sure you don't. Just come! It's our last chance to travel. You'll probably get pregnant right away and never be free to travel again. You'll be some adult soccer mom, and all your friends will have rugrats and you'll forget all about me." Sue pouted.

She succeeded in making Leslie feel guilty for abandoning her friend. Against her better judgement, she promised to talk to Steve about taking one last trip with her friends. Surprisingly, he thought it was a good idea. He knew Leslie's mom was driving her nuts with the wedding prep, and he thought a vacation would do her good. "Besides, babe, you love the Newberry Five. You'd always regret missing an opportunity to meet the band!"

Steve trusted Leslie completely. He'd waited years before she succumbed to his charms and had given him her virginity. He loved her purity and goodness. He said so, with a kiss to seal his love, he added.

Leslie shivered. She had never told Steve the truth about her spring flings. He had assumed she was a virgin, and since her family believed her virginal act, she had just added Steve to the group with whom she pretended. And anyway, it was all behind her. Steve was her future, her true love, and she would never need or want another lover. Her wild oats had been sown.

Steve was less happy about the trip when Leslie told him he'd have to fill in on some of the wedding preparations with her mother. Steve was not her favorite person, and Vivian made no secret that she felt he was beneath her daughter. But he loved Leslie and agreed to work with his future mother-in-law.

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Leslie loved meeting the band. The Newberry Five had always been her favorite, with posters of the lead singer decorating the walls of her dorm rooms. The dreams she had of him! Meeting him excited her, but she was determined to stay true to Steve. So, she was happy as the girls paired up with the five band members and their agent. Sue hung herself on the lead singer, invoking a flare of residual jealousy in Leslie. She shook it off with a laugh. Juvenile crushes aside, the rock star didn't compare to her Steve.

When the band started bringing out a selection of liquor, pills and powders, Leslie declined to partake beyond a glass of white wine. As the effects of the drugs started to become evident, Leslie found Sue, and when she was able to separate Sue's face from that of the Newberry Five singer, she told Sue she was headed up to her room.

Sue jumped up off the singer, exposing the erection Sue had been stroking. Leslie flushed and turned away. "No," shouted Sue, "You can't go until we all have a toast." She ran behind the bar, and a few minutes later, returned with a fresh glass of wine for Leslie. Calling the other girls over, she raised her own drink and saluted Leslie. "Here's to Leslie and Steve, and to our last trip, and hopefully," she looked leeringly at the band members, "a great orgy!"

Smiling at her exuberant friend, Leslie sipped at her wine, but while draining her own glass, Sue pushed up on the base of Leslie's glass, forcing her to down the wine completely. When the glass was empty, Sue removed her hand and kissed her friend on the lips. Smiling, Leslie returned the kiss, and waved goodbye as she backed away towards the door. She planned to call Steve before going to bed.

She didn't make it to the door. She passed out and crumpled to the floor.

Sue called down to the room the head roadie was in, and as she had prearranged, had him bring his crew up to the band's suite. There several of the men picked Leslie up off the floor, and stripping her naked, placed her on the mattress other men had pulled off a bed and placed on the living area's floor. Then the men stripped.

It was fifteen minutes later that Leslie returned to semi-consciousness, disoriented and flying high. The roadie who was enjoying her at the time called out to Sue, "Hey, the bitch is coming around."

Sue pulled herself off the singer's dick she'd been riding cowboy on the couch and forced several pills into Leslie's mouth. Sue had been assured that this combination of ecstasy and other pills would keep Leslie disoriented and horny. Sue and the girls, together with the band members, had been watching the unconscious girl being gangbanged. Sue giggled, thinking it would now be more fun as Leslie's consciousness returned. However, Sue had several doses ready for the sanctimonious bitch.

The drummer was enjoying a blowjob from one of Sue's group. "Say, when do we get to fuck the bitch?" he queried.

"Never," snapped Sue. "I promised her she wouldn't have to fuck the band. But we never said anything about the roadies." She laughed again at another thought. "Or the stage crew."

As she returned to the couch and resumed her cowboy position, the lead singer asked incredulously, "She's your friend?"

"She was my best friend, but then she decided she was too good for us. This will take her down a peg." As he slid back into Sue, the singer thought that this bitch was a nice fuck, but God, what a fucking bitch.

Two of the roadies were filming all the action on their phones. Sue smiled, thinking of the uses the video would have later.

Leslie was flying. She felt alive as the roadies used her. Sue, her friends, and the band members yelled out suggestions on how the bitch should be used, so she was stretched, probed and abused in more ways than she would ever remember. Later, Sue had her topless on stage during the concert, with their other friends. Freshly dosed again by Sue, Leslie was so hot to trot she was caressing the crotches of the musicians on stage, while rubbing her naked breasts on their bare torsos. Had the concert lasted a few more minutes, she would have broken down and masturbated there on the stage.

As she exited the stage with two of the band members, she reveled in their touch, on her breasts and her ass. But the band members were disappointed when, off the stage, Sue handed the horny girl over to the Czech stagehands.

In her confused state, Leslie, in her mind, was back at Cabo senior year, her first real gangbang. It was one of her fondest memories, and now she was back. As Sue weened her off the drugs while upping her dose of ecstasy, Leslie became conscious of the reality of the events but no longer cared. Steve receded in her mind as the cascade of pleasure overwhelmed her psyche. She was totally driven by her id; the superego a dim memory.

It was a day later that Leslie finally came down from most of the drugs. She was still feeling no pain, and while she knew she should be furious with her friend for drugging her and having her gangraped, she was still feeling mellow from the drugs. While her body ached, it ached in a good way. She felt like she had on all those spring breaks where she let anyone who had desired her have a go. She had loved that "post vacation glow". It made up for all the sexual frustration her puritanical father forced on her.

So, she believed what Sue said when she boasted that she'd done it for her friend's own good. Leslie was going out with a bang. Now she had a final great time to remember while she remained true to Steve after their wedding.

Realizing that she hadn't contacted Steve in over two days, she hastily dialed his number. When he answered, she immediately began by apologizing for not calling sooner. "My phone died, and it doesn't seem to charge as well with all the electrical conversions and such."

When her fiancé failed to answer, she called out, "Steve! Steve? Are you there? Can you hear me?"

"Yeah, yeah, I hear you now. How was the concert? Did you have fun?" Steve asked.

Sue, who was listening to the call, whispered in Leslie's ear, "Tell him you had a ball!"

"Oh, yeah, we had a ball," she gushed, and then joined her friends in giggling at the joke. She wasn't lying; she'd been balling for two whole days, after all.

Then Steve said, "Well, I recorded the concert for you. Haven't watched it yet, but if it was that good, I'll have to do it when we hang up."

Leslie's heart stopped, thinking of her wanton display on stage. "Oh my God," one of the girls muttered in the background. Recovering, Leslie suggested, "No, honey, why don't you save it, and we can watch it together when I get home. Won't that be fun?" She would find some way to destroy the video before Steve watched it. If not, she was toast. She'd never be able to explain the exhibitionism to Steve. Her virginal act would be history.

"Yeah, maybe." Steve responded. Maybe? Please, no, she thought.

"Well, I have to go." Steve said. Then after a pause, "Would you ask Sue if that's a birthmark or a tattoo on her right tit? I couldn't tell from the video." Then, the love of her life disconnected.

"Oh, my God, oh, my God!" Leslie moaned.

A sly, satisfied smile appeared on Sue's face. Suddenly, through the haze of her panic, things became clear to Leslie. The trip, the drugs, the gangbang. Sue didn't do it for her -- she did it to destroy her relationship with Steve! "You bitch! You did this on purpose!"

Sue laughed drily. "Yeah, you and your little boytoy make me sick. We were happy together, and then you sold yourself for his little cock. Well, I've got your gangbangs on video now, and I'll make sure everyone knows just what a whore you really are."

Leslie was packed and at the Václav Havel Airport an hour later. There were no flights out to the US that night, so she boarded a flight to London, with a connection home in the morning. She had to get home and talk to Steve. She had too. She sobbed all the way to London.

[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]

When the taxi finally dropped her off in front of her home, she prayed Steve would forgive her. When her key failed to work, she knocked, and knocked, calling for Steve to please, please, talk to her. But Steve didn't answer. She tried to look through all the windows, even though his car wasn't in the garage, she hoped he was home. But he wasn't.

Leslie's waited over 30 minutes, hoping Steve would appear, but then the pressures of nature made waiting too uncomfortable, so she Ubered to her parents' house, where an icy greeting awaited her. Her mother was disappointed; her father was horrified. His fears that she would turn out like his sister were proving to be accurate.

She sobbed and told her parents that she had been drugged by Sue and wasn't rational when she was on stage. She pleaded with her father, telling him that she had left as soon as the drugs had worn off and that she would never see that duplicitous Sue ever again. Her father, desperate to believe his beloved daughter, hugged her.

She prayed he never learned of the gangbangs. The fact Sue had video frightened her to her core.

She tried to reach Steve, but he wasn't returning to his home, and she was turned away at his office. Leslie waited outside his gated parking lot at work, hoping to follow him until she could confront him, but he never came out. It took a few days before she realized there were multiple exits to the lot. She realized he could see her car waiting and would simply depart through a different exit.

Finally, she rented a car he didn't know and was able to finally follow him. When he stopped, she pulled up, blocked his car and jumped out, frantically begging Steve to talk to her.

"Nothing happened, Steve. Please, we got high and a little wild, but nothing happened. I promise!" she cried.

"So, you didn't have a 'ball', Leslie?" Steve asked.

She looked nonplussed for a moment, then said, "What do you mean, honey."

She physically jumped when her fiancé snarled at her not to call him that. "Don't you fucking 'honey' me, you treacherous bitch. You can go fuck whomever you want. We're done. Leave me alone."

When she grabbed his arm and begged again, "Please, please. I love you," his friend Bill came out of the house, asking if Steve was alright. He pulled away from Leslie's grip said, "Just keep this bitch away from me," and stormed into the house. Leslie rushed to follow him, still begging him to listen, but his friend stopped her from following him. Finally, she stumbled back to her car, weeping.

She was spiraling down into a consuming depression. Friends tried to intervene with Steve, but he shut them all down, cutting ties with anyone who approached him twice on her behalf. She had lost all hope when the final axe fell. She was pregnant. She hid it as long as she could, but her mother became suspicious and when her father confronted her, she could do nothing but admit the truth.

Her parents confronted Steve, demanding he marry her, but when he related to them that she had just finished her period when she went to Prague and so hadn't had any relations with her fiancé that could have resulted in this pregnancy, her father went ballistic. When he returned home, he slapped his daughter, knocking her to the floor. Then, hovering over the cringing girl, he hurled every defamatory slur he could think of at her. "Slut! Whore! Strumpet! Tart!" Then, staring at the beloved child crying in fear at his feet, he turned and left her on the floor.

During the next month, Leslie emailed and left voicemails for Steve, still pleading for another chance. Her obstetrics physician worried about her weight loss, but in her depression she couldn't eat. She longed for Steve's love, his touch, or just a kind look.

After a very uncomfortable month during which Leslie never left the house and her mother tried to keep Leslie out of her father's sight, Duncan could stand it no longer. It came to a head when her father demanded to know who the child's father was. When Leslie admitted that not only did, she not know who, but she wasn't even sure how many men could be the father. Over his wife's tears and objections, he crammed his daughter's things into a suitcase and tossed it out the door, then forced her to follow. "I can't have a goddamned pregnant whore in my house. YOU'RE NOT MY DAUGHTER!"

In tears once again, alone and abandoned, Leslie pulled her suitcase down the block. With nowhere to go, she called her brothers and her sister. The resentments of childhood returned with a force that shocked Leslie. Her siblings were gleeful in their refusal to help their sister. "Daddy's already called us, slut." Her sister gleefully explained. "His little princess is a big, fat whore and we're not to help her." Brenda giggled. "I'm sure there's a pimp on 7th Avenue who'd be glad to put you up!"

[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]

Leslie found herself walking to Steve's house. There was nowhere else to go. Without hope, she walked up to his door and hesitantly knocked.

When Steve answered, they stood there, staring at each other. He spoke first. "Did you lose the kid?"

Leslie looked horrified, and blurted out, "NO! NO!", loudly.

"Leslie, why are you here?" Steve wanted to know, impatient at having to deal with her.

"My daddy kicked me out." She sobbed after she replied. "Steve, I need help. If you ever loved me..."

He began to close the door, but she shouted, "PLEASE! Can we just talk?"

Steve stared at her for a moment, then opened the door and stood back for her to enter. He gestured to the couch and went into the kitchen, returning with a beer and a glass of wine for Leslie. She looked at it sadly and said, "I wish." Realizing his error, he returned with a ginger ale. They sat quietly for a moment, sipping their drinks, while Leslie gathered her courage. Choked up and afraid, she couldn't speak.

"I've got nothing to say," Steve offered. "If you're going to keep quiet, we might as well end this now."

"I'm sorry..." Leslie began.

Steve exploded. "You're sorry? For what? Not talking? For screwing half of Europe? For being pregnant? For treating me like shit? What? What?"

"I, I, I'm sorry," she said. "For all of it

Frustrated, Steve asked again. "Leslie, why are you here?"

"My daddy kicked me out." Suddenly, Leslie stopped. She didn't want to have to tell Steve that Duncan had kicked her out because of the number of possible fathers for her child.

"He's been after me to have an abortion, but I refused." She continued, sadly looking at him. "It's not the baby's fault. It was mine." She stared at her former lover, waiting for an argument. When none was forthcoming, she continued. "Now, it's too late and he told me he didn't want some..." She broke down, sobbing. "... some pregnant slut wandering around his house. He said he never wanted to see me or my bastard again."

Steve offered her a box of tissues, and as she wiped her eyes and nose, he asked quietly, "Leslie, what happened? Were you cheating on me all along?"

Her sobs stopped as she looked up, wide-eyed. "NO! I never... I would never..." She stopped when the obvious lie came off her lips. "I mean, before, I never..." She had tried to be true, although in the beginning she had still enjoyed those spring flings. But she couldn't tell him. He had thought she was virginal. She kept trying to weave through the web of lies that made up their relationship.

"All those girls' trips with those sluts? You never? They never...?" Steve inquired.

"I never did. I NEVER did." She hoped she sounded sincere.

"And the other sluts?" Steve pressed.

"Yeah," she said hesitantly. "Sometimes, some of them..." She looked away and wiped her eyes again. "Sue, she liked to have 'adventures'," she called them. Some of the girls would go along with her. They'd tease me because I never would." In almost a whisper, she added, "I loved you."

"If I could believe that... IF I could believe that, then what made this time different? Or are you going to tell me this is an immaculate conception? The Newberry Savior of Prague?"

Leslie seemed to be deflated into herself. She put her hands on her stomach. "No, there wasn't anything immaculate or miraculous about this." Tears began streaming down her cheeks again.

"So, what happened, this time?" Steve pressured her to answer. "What made this time different?"

Her eyes returned to the floor as she began. "Sue, she knew the new manager of the band. That's why she set up the trip to Prague. The band was there for two days before that concert, and we partied with them from the first day they arrived in Prague."

"So, you girls just loved the band so much you just flopped down and spread your legs?" Steve snarled.

"No! At first, we just partied. But they had drugs. So many drugs. I tried to avoid them, but I think Sue... No, I know Sue drugged me. I kind of lost myself. I must have passed out. I don't know what happened, but I found myself having sex..." She began crying again, repeating, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I woke up and someone was on me." She covered her face with her hands and wept with shame.

Steve said nothing, so finally, she continued. "I don't remember how it started, but Sue kept pushing drugs in my mouth, and it began feeling so... I don't know, free. I just kept..." She sat silent for several moments.

When she failed to continue, Steve suggested, "Kept fucking everyone? Kept taking drugs? What? How did you end up on stage, topless? Was that just a continuation of the bed hopping?" Steve smirked.

Leslie flinched at his anger. "Kinda. Most of the time around the band, we were naked. When the manager had us go on stage topless, we were flying high -- it didn't seem like a big deal. It seemed," she paused, "adventurous.

"I'm not sure what all the drugs they gave us were... I know they had ecstasy and cocaine, but there were other drinks and pills that the band had that, well, took you outside of yourself." She flushed. "It made you horny, and somehow, nothing mattered except the high and the feelings of touch and, I don't know... Connection. Connections with others."

She paused again, looking away in thought and reluctance to meet Steve's eyes. "Even now, I remember the sex was amazing." She surprised herself by being truthful about that and was quiet for several minutes. She wondered why she hadn't been truthful about all of it. Somehow, she couldn't think of how to tell Steve why Sue had drugged her, without revealing their whole history, including the lesbian sex they had shared and Sue's jealousy. Finally, Leslie continued, looking almost shyly at him. "I never intended to have sex. I'd never cheated on you, but then I just found myself touching a man, while another man was already fucking me." She looked puzzled. "I don't know how I got there, but it seemed, well, almost natural. After that, we never dressed, and the drugs and sex were just what we did."

Suddenly, she burst into tears again, sobbing frantically. "Steve, I never... I didn't want... I couldn't..." She dissolved into babbling incoherently, before collapsing off the couch and onto the floor, where she curled into a fetal position, whimpering miserably. She couldn't find a way to tell Steve, couldn't find a story line that he would accept. Despair overwhelmed her.

Steve left her there, curled on the floor, and went to get himself a cup of coffee. Then he returned and calmly sat, watching the grief-stricken girl.

After a few minutes, she calmed her breathing, rose, and sat back down on the couch, hugging herself as if freezing cold. Her eyes remained downward. Finally, thinking that she had no choice buet to move forward and hope that Steve didn't demand more details. Without looking up, she begged, "Will you help me?"

Snidely, he asked, "Can't the Newberry Five help you? I mean, isn't one of them the father?"

She didn't begin with tears again; maybe she had cried out. But she finally answered, "No, no, no, no." Then she paused, and with despair in her voice, she repeated, "No, no, no, no," again before becoming still and silent again.

There was nothing left but the truth, or at least some of it. "The band didn't fuck me..." Leslie whispered. "There were seven of us girls and only five band members. And the manager. Sue and the others rotated through the band. They kept them busy."

"Well, who were you with?" Steve wondered.

She gulped back a sob and mumbled something. "What?" he asked.

Louder, she repeated, "The Roadies. The roadies." Her voice rose. "The fucking road crew. And then Sue invited in the local crew from the venue. She kept giving me more drugs and yelling 'dalsi', while everyone watched me get fucked."

"Dalsi?" he inquired.

She looked up sadly and said, "Next, in Czech."

"She had you gangbanged? I thought she was your friend." Steve was disgusted with both Leslie and Sue.

"She told me I'd been a goody-goody too long. That I needed to really get fucked." She pulled out a tissue, wiping her eyes, then her nose. "I think maybe Sue hates me, because of you."

"Because of me? Why?" Steve wondered.

"Because she loves me." Leslie whispered. "She thinks you took me away from her."

"What? Sue's gay? Sue's a lesbian?" The thought surprised him. Sue had always seemed like a maneater to him.

"I think she's bi. But when I started spending all my time with you, and told her that we were..." She stopped. She was going to say that they were through, but then she'd have to explain the homosexual relationship they'd had.

"What? So, she could get you gangraped? Because you didn't spend enough time with her?" Steve said disbelievingly.

"Yes! I think that's what happened. You have to help me. It wasn't my fault!" she begged him, again, leading the conversation away from her relationship with Sue.

"Sweetheart, you never wanted to have sex with anyone there?" Steve inquired. Her heart leapt with hope when he called her, sweetheart.

"No, of course not. I love you." She almost moaned her answer, in pain.

"You never screwed the band members, just the roadies who, what, raped you?" he suggested.

"No. I mean, no, not the band members. Just the roadies and the Czechs." She was looking at the floor now.

"So, the two guitarists who were grabbing your ass and who you were kissing as you walk off stage, never had you?" She looked up at him, panic in her eyes. Steve continued, "The one guitarist whose cock you were stroking on stage, never had sex with you?"

"No, Steve. Believe me, I never..." He cut her off before she could continue.

"Those guys must have been really disappointed. They sure looked ready to fuck you when they left the stage. Or had they watched you fuck all those roadies and figured you were just a diseased whore?" He struck out at her cruelly, unable to contain his anger. "You never cheated on me before, on any of the trips or girls' nights, before Prague?"

"No, no. I would never have cheated on you. I was.. I was drugged. I would never have done it if I hadn't been drugged." She couldn't look at him, feeling like her lies were written on her face.

"So, all that lingerie you had, all those sexy low-cut dresses, things I'd never seen before... Whom were you wearing those for? Huh? It sure the hell wasn't for me. I would have remembered.

"Leslie, I can't trust you. I did, for way too long. Now I think you were running around on me whenever you got together with the rest of your slut club. You have used lingerie I've never seen. Sexy clothing, I've never seen. You were grabbing a guy's cock ON STAGE, in front of thousands of people." He paused.

"The kicker is, after fucking everyone for almost two days after the concert, when you called me, you weren't crying. You weren't upset. You weren't trying to get away from your friends who, according to you, set you up for a gangrape.

"My virginal girlfriend, who had only had sex with me in her whole life, is drugged and gangbanged for a couple of days, dances half naked on stage while grabbing another guy's dick, and you weren't upset in the least when you sobered up.

"In fact, you insisted that you HAD A BALL. AS IN 'I GOT BALLED!'. I heard the giggling in the background as you rubbed my face in your infidelity. Now, you claim to have been raped. Now you want me to help poor innocent you. Now... you can forget it. Even your own father recognizes what a slut you are." He rose and opened the front door. "Get out." He yelled.

She turned on the tears again. "Please. If you ever loved me... I have nowhere to go. I need your help."

"Why? Get your job back and get your own place." He told her.

"I can't. Since the video of the concert came out, they wouldn't take me back." She looked up miserably. "They won't even give me a recommendation now. Especially since you've told everyone what sluts we all were. Even my friends won't talk to me. Please, Steve, I need help."

"Then tell me the truth. When did you start fucking other people?" He stood by the door, holding it open. Her choice, answer or leave.

She collapsed back onto the couch and grabbed more tissues. She was going to have to tell the truth. Again, just some of it. She whispered, "When we got engaged."

Steve's jaw dropped. "I asked you to marry me, so you took that as a license to fuck other guys?"

"No. I was engaged, and Sue and Terri were getting married..." She paused, blowing her nose. "Sue said we were going to have to give up our freedom once we were married, so we should enjoy everything before the sweet bird of youth flew away. We just tried to relive our college 'adventures'."

"So, did Sue and Terri stop these 'adventures' after their weddings? And were you going to stop after ours?" He closed the door and stumbled back to his chair. "Were you going to stop after our wedding?"

"Yes, yes. Of course." She raised her tear-stained face to show him her sincere face. Unfortunately, he didn't feel he could trust her anymore.

"You've been cheating on me since our engagement, and more likely, since we met." She began shaking her head at his words. "Well, it's nice to know you might have stopped after our wedding, but hey, the good news is now you don't have to. Now you can be a slut in the open because the wedding ain't gonna happen." He went and opened the door again. "Get out. We're done. Go have your bastard kid in an alley for all I care."

Leslie began sobbing again but slowly rose and walked out the door. She was halfway down the walk when he stopped her.

"Leslie!" he called. When she stopped and looked back, he stood back and opened the door wide. Hesitantly, she slowly walked back, wondering in fear what was going to happen. He had been so angry a moment ago. Was he going to hit her? But he just stood aside and closed the door after she entered.

"Leslie, you can stay here until you can get your feet back under you." He told her.

She gasped in glee. He did love her! He was going to forgive her. She moved to hug Steve, but he put his hands against her shoulders and pushed her back. "No. I'm giving your child the help no one gave my mom or me. But that's it." Leslie recalled that his mother, pregnant with him, had been abandoned by her family, and had to struggle having and raising Steve. He wasn't doing it because he loved Leslie; he was doing it because he loved his mother.

Steve turned and led her to the guest room. "You know where everything is. Please try to respect my privacy and space." As she looked around the room that she had helped to decorate only months before, he left. Just before the door closed, he lashed out, cruelly, "Just don't bring any of your fuck buddies here." She cried in distress as she realized that he would never, ever, forgive her.

[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]

At first, it was awkward. She could remember when Steve's face would light up when he saw her. Now, his visage would darken and scowl whenever he saw her. She began to avoid him, hiding in her room rather than seeing the pain she caused on his face. Her weight dropped more, even as her abdomen extended further as the fetus grew.

When she went to the kitchen for some water, he looked at her stomach and rushed out of the house, slamming the door behind him. He began staying out, coming home drunk and belligerent, expressing his hate for her in angry rants as he staggered and pounded on the walls. She cowered and wept in her room. She was fearful that he would break down and beat her.

More than anything, she felt guilty, believing she was responsible for turning this good, quiet man into a miserable drunkard.

While he was out during the day, Leslie looked up shelters she could take refuge in. One assured her that they had a place for her.

When Steve grabbed his jacket that evening, ready to head back to the bar, Leslie confronted him. "Steve! Stop it. Just stop. I'm leaving. I'll be gone tomorrow."

Looking at her suspiciously, he asked, "Why?"

"Because look at you. You can't even look at me without getting angry. Then you're out drinking almost every night." Tears dripped from her eyelashes. "You're becoming a drunk, because of me. I have to go away."

He collapsed into a chair, staring at her abdomen blindly. Then he looked up at her face. "No, you stay. I am sorry I made you feel unwelcome. It just hurts. I remember the dreams we had, and here you are, looking like my dreams but not..."

She stared at him, then looked down at her stomach. She turned and ran to her room. She realized her dreams, his dreams, were all shattered. She knew that her very presence in his house was agony for him, as being around him was agonizing for her. Her heart ached all over again, knowing that there was no happy ending for them.

She was determined to leave the next day. She wouldn't be the cause of any more pain for him.

Then, her thoughts and self-pity were interrupted when Steve knocked on her door. "Les, I made dinner."

She wiped her eyes. Dinner? He made dinner. The world had gone to hell, and he made food? WTF? She wondered.

"Pork chops and pasta. Don't make me waste it." She listened to him, somehow not understanding how he could think of food.

Suddenly, he sounded angry as he yelled, "HEY! I'm HUNGRY! And I can't eat until you join me."

Leslie got up and made her way to the door. When Steve saw her red-eyed, wet face, he reached out and pulled the sodden hair away from her face and smoothed it behind her ear. Her heart thumped at the gentle, loving gesture.

"Come on." He said, as he steered her into the kitchen, where he had set out plates and silverware.

She stared at her plate as Steve began eating. She didn't know what to think. At least he wasn't drinking. Finally, she picked up her fork and began eating the pasta. They ate dinner in silence, and he rose to clear the plates when they were done.

"Thank you." It was so quiet, he barely heard it.

"Well, tomorrow you get to make dinner." He responded as he rinsed the plates, put them into the dishwasher. He left her sitting at the table and went into the living room, turning on the TV. It was several minutes later that she came out and sat on the couch. They watched two programs in silence. When he went to bed in his room, she went to hers.

From then on, they ate dinner together. They didn't always watch TV or spend the evening together, but did develop nights when they did. Gradually, they developed routines they could live with.

Leslie was grateful for Steve's willingness to help her. She knew that they would never be romantic again, and it made her weep whenever she thought of it. She tried to give him room, walking on eggshells around him, worried she'd upset him and the balance they had developed.

Leslie began working temp jobs, unsure about permanent positions, unsure where her life would go after her child was born. She offered to contribute to the expenses, but Steve told her to save her money. She would need it for medical expenses, baby needs, and her own place, eventually.

She didn't reply. She kind of shrugged and retreated to her room, where she remained all evening. She had hoped, against hope, that she would be able to remain with Steve, but obviously he wanted her gone after the baby's birth.

[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]

Steve surprised her by offering to be her Lamaze partner. Her friends had abandoned her, especially after Steve informed all their partners what went on during their "girls' trips". So, with no family or friends to help her, she appreciated Steve stepping up.

He also attended the birth, when Natalie was born. 7 1/2 pounds, blue eyed and blonde. Leslie had a tough time of the birth, straining and groaning in pain. Steve couldn't leave her. He had informed her parents and her siblings when she had gone into labor, hoping maybe the birth would trigger a reconciliation. Other than her mother weepily asking him to wish Leslie well, her family was uniform in their abandonment of Leslie and her "little bastard".

While she struggled with the delivery, Leslie looked at the anguish on Steve's face and realized again that this was all another parody of his dream of having a loving wife and family. He'd dreamed of being at the birth of his children; he'd often shared that dream with her. It made her begin sobbing and destroyed all the breathing exercises she had learned in Lamaze.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" she moaned, unable to calm her breathing. Steve and the nurses worked hard to calm the distraught woman.

Later, when the doctor asked about it, Steve explained that they had been engaged to be married before she got pregnant. The doctor had looked at him blankly for a moment, then the light of understanding appeared in his eyes. "Oh. Ooohh! Well, now I'm sorry," he said, before heading off. "Not as sorry as I am," Steve mumbled.

The birth seemed to take a lot out of Leslie. When Steve brought mother and daughter home, she collapsed on the bed and was out. When Natalie stirred and cried, it was Steve who changed her first diaper in the house. When she continued crying, he had to wake Leslie up for the baby's feeding. Later, it was Steve again who bathed the baby and put her down to sleep.

Steve was captivated by little Natalie. He doted on her and answered the nighttime calls as often as the mother, if not more often. Leslie was amazed to see happiness return to Steve's eyes. He even smiled often at Leslie.

They settled into routines, becoming, for all practical purposes, a family. Time passed, and the little one began to crawl, then toddle, then walk. Steve read to Natalie, took her for walks and trips to the park, pushing her on the swings and the roundabouts. Leslie loved seeing him come home from work, anxious to play with Natalie on the lawn. When people commented on "his" beautiful baby, Steve swelled with pride and related how smart Natalie was, as well. He was happy. It wasn't what he had expected, but Leslie could see it filled his need for a family.

Leslie finally went back to work full-time, in order to get medical coverage for Natalie. She worked 8 to 4 every day, with Natalie in a corporate daycare at her office. Happily, she was always back home when Steve got off at 5 PM.

It was the happiness that Natalie brought Steve that caused the rough patches in their relationship. Every few months, after Natalie's birth, Leslie would make overtures to Steve, hoping, praying that he would forgive her, if only for Natalie's sake. She hoped he'd accept her back to make a real family for "his" Natalie. With each rejection, her heart would break anew.

[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]

After a year and a half, Leslie started dating again, not able to take another rejection from Steve, and knowing that he wouldn't move on as long as she was there. But nobody compared to Steve, and she always ended the dates early. She never dated the same guy twice. Try as she might, her heart belonged to Steve. Eventually, she ran out of prospective dates. She didn't care.

Steve was dating, and having sex, as far as Leslie could tell. That tore at her heart. Regret at what she had thrown away was ever present in her mind and heart. Yet she prayed that Steve would find someone to love. He deserved to be happy.

When Natalie entered kindergarten, she went to after school daycare in the afternoon, so sometimes Steve would pick her up, but usually Leslie went since she got off work earlier. But it was important to Steve that he show up as the father figure.

Leslie knew that Steve hadn't forgiven her. She also knew that Natalie was now the real love of his life. She thought that maybe, just maybe, his love for Natalie could be used to leverage her back into his heart.

Then one night, Leslie slipped naked into Steve's bed. He awoke and moved quickly to the far side of his bed. "What are you doing?" he demanded.

"I need you." Leslie whispered. "It breaks my heart to see you every day and know what I have lost. I screwed up. I had the perfect life, and I allowed a selfish need for, what, youth? adventure? to derail it." She sobbed. "I can't love anyone else while you're here with me. My body yearns for you; my heart breaks every time you go by. I love you. Please forgive me. Love me." She reached out for him.

Steve jumped out of his bed, disgust and repulsion evident on his face when she reached for him. "NO!" he snarled. "I can't love you. I can't trust you that way. You killed the love I had for you."

He calmed himself. "I forgave you long ago, Leslie. I care for you, as a friend." He paused, considering. "No, more than a friend, you're family. You and Natalie. You're like a sister to me."

Leslie contemplated the pattern on Steve's sheets for a moment, then turned without a word, and left the room, closing the door behind her. That had been her last-ditch effort. Her whole chest hurt with sorrow. She couldn't stay any longer. It hurt too much.

She loved Steve, probably more now than ever before. His generosity in sheltering her and her daughter, his virtual adoption of Natalie... She believed he was the finest man she'd ever known. Yet the look of repulsion he'd had on his face when she'd reached for him, tore at her soul. He still hated her, still was disgusted by her, but he bore it all in silence for the sake of Natalie.

He was only willing to have her near him in order to be close to his real love.

[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]

When Steve came home the next day, the house seemed somehow empty. Some knickknacks that Leslie had placed around the room were missing. He glanced into her room and saw the dresser drawers askew and empty. There was a note held by a magnet on the refrigerator door.

"Dearest Steve,

I love you. I will always love you and always will regret what I've done. For over five years I hoped to find my way back into your heart, but you've made it clear that I've burned that bridge to the ground.

I can't stay anymore. I have saved enough money to start my life over again somewhere else. It hurts too much and neither of us will be able to move on if I remain here. You're too good a person to be alone your whole life. You deserve a family including a loving and faithful mate. I will always regret that it wasn't to be me.

By the time you read this, I should be out of the state and on my way to a new life. I will never forget you or your kindness.

Love forever,

Leslie."

Knowing how much she'd hurt Steve already, she knew that the only happiness she could give him was Natalie. She was Steve's family.

She knew that Steve had never realized that when the nurse asked him to sign the birth certificate as a witness, that he'd inadvertently signed as the father. She'd filled his name in, hoping, dreaming that somehow, she'd get him back.

It hurt to drive away, leaving Natalie with Steve. She loved her daughter and was already missing her before she reached the city limits.

But as much as she loved her daughter, she loved Steve as much. He wouldn't miss Leslie at all, but she knew he would be devastated if he lost Natalie. She also believed that the damage she'd done to his psyche and self-image could only be corrected with a great sacrifice. And she knew that as deep as her mother's love was for her daughter, Steve's love would always be greater. He would unselfishly give his life for that little girl.

Leslie wasn't sure that she was capable of that kind of love.

Leslie hoped that someday, she'd become that type of person who would do that. But she knew that now, right now, she wasn't. But she hoped she would be someday. Meanwhile, she smiled at the thought of Natalie and Steve together.

She vowed, as she drove west, to be honest with the next man to whom she could give her heart. She knew she'd never find another Steve, but she also realized Steve had never really had her. His Leslie was a virginal, sheltered girl, whose idea of kinky sex was leaving the lights on.

She wondered if she'd ever find a man who could accept the gangbanged, pussy licking Leslie that she really was. She might never find a man who could accept her with all her flaws.

But she knew one thing: she'd sure have fun looking for him.