Falling In, Out, and in Love Again

FALLING IN, OUT, AND IN LOVE AGAIN

by OKMAX

Sometime everyone falls in love with someone or something. I did.

Her name is May Bella Dugsen. I fell in love with dear little May in the 5th grade. May was so cute with her dark brown eyes, dark brown hair, and color coordinated outfits. She seemed to naturally attract, flirt, and command the attention of every male whether she was flirting with one of the other boys or our male teachers. May always had my rapt attention. I couldn't help it.

May grew up to be an absolutely beautiful 18-year-old, ballet dancing, broad-jumping athlete, and Strait A student with college credits transferable to about any university she might decide to attend. May had several great scholarship offers.

During Christmas vacation of our Junior year in high school we started what became a torrid affair. My mother and dad were at MD Anderson for experimental cancer therapy. I stayed home to take care of moms cat and house plants and to finish repairs on a customer's Buick. May and I made love at my home, her home, in my car, and at night in buildings where I was working as a janitor or repairman.

Our lovemaking progressed in the next 18 months as we tried every foreplay stimulation and position we could imagine. Sometimes I would send her a text asking TWW, meaning Time (how much time do you have), When (what time to meet), Where (meeting location), and she would reply with a cryptic message.

If I missed her appointment by more than 5 minutes, I owed her a sexual favor such as her choice of foreplay. May usually chose oral sex, finger fucking, my description of how she should respond to each step of our love making, or how many times I had to help her climax before my first climax.

I was working janitorial and construction jobs to pay for cars and parts to restore and resell good running cars so I could help pay expenses for my mother's care. Community college seemed to be the most practical option for me to continue my higher education. I could be here in San Marcos to help my mother through her stage 4 cancer. So, I enrolled in our local community college.

I dreaded the thought that May would soon be moving away to some distant university. Although she wanted to attend a Texas university such as Texas State in San Marcos she was dedicated to defending women's' rights to choose birth control. And she was bitterly against the Texas politicians passing laws to prevent women from making their own health decisions.

When we discussed her options, May was determined to go away from Texas to a university in California, Colorado, or Washington. Co-ed campuses where young women would be pursued and countless males would flirt with May intending to find a way to have May fall in love with them. I imagined her being attracted, sharing conversations, falling love, and having great sex.

FALLING OUT OF LOVE

I realized that our imminent separation called for a heart-to-heart talk with May to end our "going steady with benefits" relationship so she would be free to be with and undoubtedly fall in love with someone else. We separated with teary kisses but May said, "I will always love you Ryan Banister no matter how far away or how long we are separated."

I hated the Texas clergy, politicians, and sorry misogynists that forced May away from Texas. And I even hated May for letting us be separated so someone else could have and hold her.

May went to UC Berkley University but shortly into her second semester May came back to San Marcos to visit her ailing father. May said "Ryan we both have parents with stage 4 cancer. My dad is failing with prostate cancer that is in his bones and you are struggling with your mom's metastasized breast, lung, and brain cancers."

I came home because my dad is planning to begin his end-of-life hospice program. So, I will arrange to take classes at the community college and hope they will give me university credits, which my advisor thinks the university will accept when I come back. "Ryan, I suppose you have forgotten me. Hopefully, you have found someone else, when will I get to meet her?"

I replied "there is no someone else for me. May I have missed you so very much. Please let me know how to help you and your family." May replied "thanks Ryan, same to you."

May surged into my arms and I hugged her but she looked up at me with tears running down her cheeks. Her tears increased as she blurted "Ryan I am so sorry, I cheated on you and now I'm in the Berkley STD health records."

No May, you didn't cheat because we stopped going steady when you left for Berkley. May you don't owe me any explanation." May continued, "Ryan you are the only one I trust. You know how angry I was about the San Marcos do gooders helping our Texas politicians pass laws prohibiting a woman's right to birth control including abortion and pregnancy prevention pills."

May continued "I would have gladly gone to Texas State University here in San Marcos. But I chose UC Berkley in California to protect my rights to determine my health choices. I was addicted to torrid love making like we enjoyed before I left. I was so lonely and vulnerable in California."

"A good-looking man came to the dining room of our first-year dorm and handed me a ticket for a bus ride about 2 hours later, supposedly to a Frat Party. After driving around and picking up several other women, we were delivered to a big 3 story house and welcomed by at least 20 men. Five men ushered each woman inside to a bar. Each of the five men with me insisted on complementing every feature of my appearance and buying me mixed drinks for toasting my beautiful face, my firm breasts, my mouthwatering nipples, my hips, my legs, and my other wonders to be discovered."

"Then a suddenly a large muscular man picked me up, started kissing me under my ear, and carried me up stairs to a room with a big bed where five men took over my body and I responded to their sex acts, complements, and encouragement. At the time it made me so hot to have a man in my mouth starting with kissing and then his cock, a man caressing one breast and another man sucking my other nipple, a man feeling me up and pulling down my pants, and a man finger fucking me. It is my fault. I can't stop hating myself. And it is worse because I don't know any of the men who transmitted their STD to me."

At first, I was shocked and held May in my arms but subsequently managed to offer, "let me help you May. First, have you decided if you want to go back to Berkley this year or later? Regardless, if you do or not, will you please marry me? If you want an abortion, I will pay for it but it cannot be done here in Texas. If you want to marry me and keep the baby, I will be the best daddy in Texas."

May replied, "Ryan I am not pregnant. I had an IUD installed when I moved to California. I stupidly got drunk and let five strangers transmit their infectious STD into me. I can't remember any faces, names, or even what fraternity or how many fraternities were there.

I absolutely can't tell my parents what happened. My father would be utterly devastated. He boasts to everyone about me. My mother does too but if she learns about my STD health record at Berkley, she will futilely insist on learning who intoxicated and raped me. I can't tell her what I don't know and have no way of knowing.

Ryan I am completely sorry for what I did. You are the only one I can bring myself to tell about what a slut I promptly became in California. I replied, "no May, you had sex with gangbangers on one drunken loveless occasion after the hundreds of times we made love. May, you are not a slut."

"But, I hate all the men who gangbanged you. Do you want me to discover who did this to you. And if so, how do you want them to be punished?" May replied "a week after I was gangbanged I had an STD examination at the student clinic and was treated for gonorrhea and chlamydia. All student STD treatments require a report giving the details of STD transmission and my incomplete case required an interview with a psychotherapist."

"My report is not complete because the men are unknown, the place where transmission occurred is unknown, and it is not known if any drugs were used in addition to alcohol. But I would like to have all the gangbangers prevented from infecting another student."

May resumed "and I hate my vain self for responding to their foreplay and complements and letting them gangbang me. Ryan if what I did gets out you should say you hate me for leaving you and becoming a gangbanged slut."

About two weeks later May received a call from the Berkley student health psychotherapist requesting her to review her interview and add any pertinent information because two more students had been similarly gangbanged and infected. May agreed and she received a copy of her open report and identity redacted copies of the two other student reports. May verified the similarities including the bus ticket, big three-story Frat House, getting drunk, and sexual persuasions by five attractive men without names or other ways of being identified.

SURPRISE OFFER

About a week later May received a call from a woman, supposedly in San Diago saying she was a talent scout and May had been selected for trying out to make advertisements. May was offered an all-expenses paid weekend vacation trip, to be interviewed at a five-star, seaside resort.

May told me, "I acted like I might be interested but only after I stayed with my father through his hospice journey. The woman said she understood and was so sorry, but to take her number in case I decided to try out. She added if you are accepted, the fee paid for each advertisement can be very generous, you could be paid more than most young women make in a year.

I responded, "May this seems suspiciously like a porno movie maker's induction starting with the Frat-House party." May shook her head yes, "that's what I think it could be too and I suspect that the private files in the Berkley student health department may be compromised. Ryan what do you think we should do?"

"Of course it is your decision May. But first, I think it would be safe to enter into an agreement to confidentially discuss the facts with the FBI because of the possible wire fraud that crossed state boundaries. If the FBI thinks it warrants further investigation you will have at least done your part to protect other young women from being harmed."

May replied, "Ryan please help me contact the California FBI and first learn if they will protect me from Texas authorities concerning women's health rights." "Of course, May I will be glad to help any way I can to protect you. This might be a good topic to discuss with the California ACLU and others who have taken stands to protect women's rights."

May and I called the San Diago FBI office and asked if the FBI would be willing to enter into an agreement to confidentially discuss the facts concerning the possible wire fraud that crossed state boundaries. We discussed the jeopardy of sending information that Texas authorities could use to prosecute May. One of the San Diago FBI agents was a lady who said "I assure you that no disclosure to anyone except our team on this call will be provided to anyone else. And this assurance will be part of the confidential disclosure agreement that I will send before Friday of this week."

May received a letter requiring her receipt signature. It contained a written agreement providing for her confidential disclosure to the FBI of the facts concerning what had happened. May prepared her disclosure of the facts. May also added some provisos to the confidentiality agreement requiring her written approval of any further disclosure of the facts to anyone including authorities in Texas or any other state concerning women's health-related rights.

May sent back the documents she prepared to the FBI address in San Diago. A few days later May received another letter requiring her receipt signature which contained a new Confidential Disclosure Agreement including May's provisos. May and an attorney who had represented our family for more than thirty years reviewed the new FBI Confidential Disclosure Agreement and agreed that it accomplished May's requirements. May signed and sent back the documents to the FBI address in San Diago. A few days later the FBI sent back a signed copy of the FBI Confidential Disclosure Agreement.

The next day Agent Bracale the lady in charge called and said there is sufficient information in May's facts to warrant preparation of an affidavit to warrant initiation of our investigation of wire-fraud and other unlawful activities. We will have May call the talent scout and get the details about the dates and airports for the all expenses paid round trip and the address of the five-star seaside resort for her interview.

May called the San Diago talent scout and after several more calls was given information for her direct flight from San Antonio to San Diago and her reservation details at a five-star resort for her arrival Friday before noon and departure Sunday evening to Austin Texas. FBI Agent Bracale directed May to call me when she was in her suite at the resort. I would then call Agent Bracale with the room number and confirm May's iPhone information.

May arrived at the San Diago airport and called the talent scout who said she would be waiting curbside in a black Mercedes to take her to lunch at the resort. May called me about 11:30 AM and said she would be staying in suite 172 and she was going to lunch with Mariellen the talent scout.

Sunday, I picked May up at the Austin airport about 9:15 PM and as we drove to San Marcos, she called FBI Agent Bracale and discussed the weekend events. May gave chronological statements of facts starting with her ride and luncheon with talent scout Mariellen. After lunch they went to suite 172 and Mariellen gave May an NDA to sign which included release of any and all of May's ownership of pictures, videos, and other information. May read through it and noticed that the date that the NDA specified was the date that she was gangbanged and afterwards. When May objected to the NDA date, Mariellen promised to bring it to her colleagues' attention and wrote in the present date with a ballpoint pen and asked if she would object to having some closeup pictures of her pretty face. May allowed the close-up pictures and Mariellen took about 10 pictures of May and said she would be back tomorrow with her colleague to the interview May after they met for breakfast about 10 AM.

At breakfast Mariellen introduced May to Joseph Simon who complemented May saying your facials especially your eyes are unbeatable. Now we need a variety of poses and background themes. Let's start with you at the seashore wearing the bathing suits Mariellen has for you. As soon as you and Mariellen are ready at the beach, we will take some more videos with you wearing the bathing suits. Then we will have lunch and get ready to take some more videos with indoor and garden backgrounds. This evening, we will meet for dinner and discuss opportunities to make advertisements and other interesting documentaries.

As we finished desert Mr. Simon said "May, I can tell you already that you are absolutely great, if not perfect, and if you are willing to make advertisements and other interesting documentaries, I will retain and pay you $10,000 for 2 or 3 hours to do more camera work tomorrow. Do you want to fly home tomorrow with my $10,000 check or cash?

May replied "Mr. Simon, let me sleep on your offer, what time tomorrow do you want to meet and what should I wear?" Mr. Simon looked at Mariellen and asked, "will a light lunch about 1:30 PM work for you?"

I met Mariellen at 1:30 PM for a BLT and coffee. Mariellen said she had a casual outfit to start me with and she might add other outfits depending on what Mr. Simon wants to accomplish. I was shocked when Mariellen gave me a casual outfit that closely matched the clothing that I wore to the Frat House party. I put it on and was even more amazed when Mariellen took me to another room that had what looked like the big bed for gangbanging me at the Frat House.

Mr. Simon came in and showed me an envelope with a lot of cash and said "May you have already made a dynamite video of you being gangbanged. Now you can help us get a few more poses, sign our original NDA with the date of your gangbang and the $10 grand is yours.

I replied first give me a copy of the original gangbang video and I need to watch it because I don't remember any cameras and I certainly didn't agree to any pictures or video and frankly I was too drunk to remember who gangbanged me. If I agree to your proposition, I will fly back for some more video work and discuss the documentaries you have in mind.

I picked up my purse and quickly left the resort by taxi to the airport and waited for my flight because earlier flights were fully booked.

Agent Barcale responded "May you got a lot of evidence out of this trip that is needed to stop the criminal activities that Joseph Simon and his crew are committing and planning. We managed to record the conversations in your room using microphones in the air conditioning ducts. But we didn't get the breakfast, lunch, or dinner conversations. May, it will be important if you can convince Mariellen to send you a copy of the Frat House video and NDA."

Mariellen called about 2 PM the next day and asked for my address to send the Frat House video and NDA. Mariellen said "May you will see that you are a natural star in your video. Admit it you are so attractive and beautiful in every way. Take advantage of your looks and talent. Mr. Simon is anxious to pay you a lot of money for your participation with us."

A padded envelope with an USB flash drive arrived. It had the Frat House video and NDA recorded on it. Agent Barcale flew to Austin, rented a car, and drove to San Marcos to meet with May. May insisted that I would be at the meeting to review an affidavit detailing the facts about the activities of Mr. Simon and Mariellen.

The FBI managed to get fingerprints and DNA from Mariellen's and Joseph Simon's wine glasses that the sommelier quickly picked up before they could be wiped clean by Joseph and Mariellen. The sommelier explained that he had brought a very delicious wine and new Tiffiny wine glasses, complements of the resort.

Joseph Simon is actually John Simpson a Ph. D. psychologist who formerly helped rape, incest, and other victimized women recover from "COPING and TRANSFERENCE which are well established mental behaviors.

Our FBI profiler indicated that John Simpson and his wife are manipulators and explained that an accomplished manipulator may try many things to gain control of his victim, including rape. In a secluded location such a manipulator can ignore NO, DON'T, STOP and her physical resistance as he continues nuzzling, kissing, licking, and fingering long enough for her body to automatically become aroused and orgasm.

Such a manipulator knows that most victims will respond to insistent stimulation regardless of what she previously thought she would do. Scientific studies have also established that sexually active women who have previously developed the routine of seeking arousal and enjoying an orgasm are much more likely to transfer fear, pain, anger, and anxiety about an assault into arousal and orgasm. May interjected, "yes the Frat Men took control of my body."

The victim's body's habitual arousal and orgasm responses are no more an indication of guilt or mental illness than an adrenaline rush, elevated heart rate, and erected nipples would be in response to the same stimulations by her loving partner. Many women refuse to leave or prosecute their abusive husbands because they cope by transferring fear, anger, anxiety and injury into arousal and orgasm. Some women exhibit the Stockholm syndrome, and after harmful treatment, defend their violator.

Sadly, underage, statuary rape is under reported. Too often because the family member or friend with access to her repeats the stimulation manipulation until the victim becomes accustomed to her automatic arousal and orgasm. Compared to her fear of being discovered and punished by her mother or some other authority, she may cope with the dilemma by welcoming the secret attention and caressing to continue the adrenalin rush excitement of her automatic arousal and orgasm. As she becomes of age, she may have developed a craving for more and more sex regardless of how little respect she has for the person she nonchalantly encourages to produce her automatic arousal and orgasm.

The subsequent raid of John Simpson's office and home and analysis of his computers enabled the FBI to secure his and his wife Mariellen's confessions and confiscate more than $7 million cash and various properties. The Simpsons were part of an international prostitution and pornographic movie making syndicate. The FBI is prosecuting the syndicate's illegal ways and means.

So now you know how I fell in, out, and in love again with May Bella Dugsen. May's dad died, my mother died, and May is back at Berkley. I moved to California and am a used car mechanic at a Chevrolet dealership and I am taking engineering courses at a community college. May is considering becoming a Clinical Psychologist. We have an excellent apartment that is provided in exchange for the maintenance, janitorial, and yard work that May helps me do.