A Good Wife's Dilemma Pt. 01

I don't want to hurt my husband. I don't want to break his heart again. Michael is a wonderful man and an even better husband. He has always been kind, understanding, and generous to a fault with me. I stumbled one time years ago, and I promised him and myself that it would never happen again.

It isn't true that once a cheater always a cheater. I don't want to cheat on my husband again, and I'm not going to now. Michael discovered what I was up to before it became physical and put a stop to it. While paying our mobile bill Michael browsed my call and data log. That's when he discovered a number that I was calling and that same number calling me. It was Michael's friend Jason.

Jason had a reputation for being a cock hound. Jason was discrete but not discrete enough as he pursued me. Anytime that I was in Jason's company, at a bar with Michael or out with our group of friends he would hit on me, but never in front of my husband. I started to like his attention and I fell for his silver tongued bullshit. I knew better, but I fell for him anyway so we started to text and call each other, but we waited for Michael to be at work to carry on our affair. It was an affair of the heart. It never led to anything physical, but it would have if my husband hadn't been paying attention.

Michael was furious with me and I deserved it. I abused his trust and love for a silver tongued bullshitter that just wanted to fuck me and put a notch on his belt. It took me months to regain Michael's trust again. I spent weeks in the dog house and deservedly so. In the end my husband got the last laugh. Jason was with our group of friends at a local bar that we frequented when Michael made a point with Jason. Nobody saw it coming, and I thought Michael was over it, but when Michael saw Jason sitting at a table he confronted him about calling me. That's when the unexpected happened, Michael hit him, not just once but over and over again. Jason was trying to protect himself, but it was too late. Jason was bloody and battered before some other men pulled my husband off of him. The bouncer kicked us out, but Michael made his point.

I don't want to cheat on my husband because I owe him more than that. He treats me like a queen. I've never worked outside the home even though I have a degree from the same college as my husband. If I wanted to work outside the home I could. Michael never pushed me about it, and truthfully I have everything that I want, too much free time, money, nice car and a beautiful home. I don't want or need any material things, but what I do want and need are things money can't buy.

3 years ago Michael was having health issues that were nagging him, but they didn't rise to the level of worry. Michael has always taken good care of himself by eating healthy food and exercising regularly. He visited the gym several times a week and worked hard at taking care of his body. But 3 years ago during and after workouts he was getting dizzy and short of breath, more than usual when a person works out hard. As time went on Michael's stamina began to fade and after my encouragement he visited our GP.

After ordering blood work and a physical exam our GP called us back to his office for a consultation. Michael and I were both shocked at the results. Michael had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high blood sugar and an elevated heart rate. The GP ordered a stress test!

The nurses wouldn't let Michael get on the treadmill because his heart rate was bouncing all over the place. The cardiologist on duty took one look at the graph and said it was classic AFIB. We were at the cardiologists office the next day. Michael was prescribed a handful of pills to counter the effects of all his ailments. How could somebody as healthy looking as Michael be so sick?

Within a month Michael began to suffer from the side effects of the concoction of drugs he was taking. The drugs helped his heart regain rhythm and controlled his blood pressure and cholesterol, but they had a devastating effect on his "D". Michael lost his ability to get an erection, and it didn't matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did he couldn't get his erection back. The cardiologist tried other meds that didn't work as well so he always ended up back at the beginning. The drugs that worked best for my husband killed his erection. Michael had a choice. Stop taking his meds and regain his manhood or continue with the soup of drugs and stay alive. Michael chose the drugs. We've tried all the meds to help a man get stiff, but they don't work with Michael.

I don't want to cheat on my husband, but I need a man. I need to wrap my arms and legs around a man and let him use me. I need to feel a man's flesh and blood in me, and make me feel like a woman again. Michael has become a master with his tongue and hands. He can make me orgasm over and over with his oral skills, but I require something more that a silicon dildo and his tongue. Michaels stiff penis would be a gift from heaven, but that isn't going to happen. I need a man. I can laugh about it now, but Jason could fill a void that I need filled. I'm curious to find out just how "big" a bullshitter Jason is, but that's not going to happen in my lifetime.

How do I breach this conversation with my husband? How do I tell him that I want sex with another man? I'm not belittling Michael. It isn't his fault, but sometime soon I'll do something stupid and pick up a guy at a store, or go to a bar in the afternoon and find a willing male to satisfy my needs. I don't want to cheat. I don't want to break Michael's heart, or worse, break my marriage!

***********************************************************************************

Michael's POV

I wasn't prepared for the conversation that my wife wanted to have! After a difficult day at work I love to come home to my wife and get away from the chaos of my job. Today was no different. All I wanted to do is come home, eat dinner, and enjoy my wife's company. Chilling with Mary, on the couch, sitting on the porch, or just being in her company is the highlight of my day.

For me today was no different from any other day, but I sensed that my wife had something on her mind. She wasn't herself and wouldn't look me in the eye. I decided to let Mary take her time and tell me what is bothering her. I got my kiss and hug as I walked in the door, but it was different. It wasn't as warm and affectionate like I'm used to. I'll let her tell me in her time and not press the issue. Our dinner was quiet, not much talking from either of us. I could hear the wheels turning in my wife's head and I became more and more anxious about what is troubling my wife.

We finished dinner and cleaned up the dishes. Still nothing from my wife. By this point in the evening I was beginning to doubt that Mary would tell me what she's burdened about. I changed clothes and put on some music to lighten the mood. I took my wife by the hand, and we sat down on the couch. I forced my wife to look me in the eye and asked the million-dollar question, "Mary, what's the matter? You aren't yourself tonight. Tell me what's on your mind. Please?"

Mary had tears well up in her eyes. I was worried that something terrible had happened, and she was afraid to tell me. Little did I know that my thoughts weren't far from the truth. Mary couldn't look at me then she finally spoke, "Michael, we have to talk, but I don't know where to begin."

Mary was nervous, maybe even scared. Her hand was shaking as she held my hand. I never want my wife to be scared to talk to me. We talk about everything, no secrets, no hidden agendas, so I told my wife, "Whatever it is we can work it out. Tell me what's wrong."

*********************************************************************************

"Michael, honey, I love you and I don't want to hurt you ever again. But there's something I need to ask you." My wife hesitated and looked down at the floor. She was wringing her hands and trembling. Her head was hung low as if she had been caught lying or something worse. Using her fingers Mary tucked her hair behind her ears and took a deep breath.

"Honey let me finish before you say anything, please?" I nodded my head. "Michael you're the only man that I've ever loved. I don't want that to ever change, not now, not ever. But there's something that I need to tell you and something that I need to ask. It's been 2 years since we've had sex." I started to open my mouth when my wife reminded me that I agreed to let her finish. Mary started again by saying, "It's been 2 years since we've been intimate. I know it isn't your fault and I don't blame you for anything, but Michael I need more than a toy." After a pause and another deep breath my wife got to her point. "I know this is a big ask, but I need to be totally honest with you. I need a MAN. It's been on my mind for months. I didn't have the courage to tell you."

I sat next to my wife with my mouth open. I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest. It felt like I'd just been stabbed in the back! But the truth can sometimes be brutal and today the brutal truth hurt me to my core. As much as her words hurt me at least she was being honest.

"I don't know what to say Mary. How do I respond to something like that?"

"Michael I'm sorry, but I had to tell you the truth."

I looked at my wife, broken-hearted, "You never said anything. I do everything that nature will let me do." I paused for second and asked, "Have you been unhappy all this time?"

"Michael I realize this is hard, but no, I haven't been unhappy but, I need more than a dildo and your tongue. I want real flesh and blood inside me. It's deeper than an orgasm. The feel of a hard penis puts it all together for a woman. A man's hard dick completes a woman: it makes a woman feel like a woman. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

"I understand, but I don't like it! You want to fuck another man. How am I supposed to accept that. What am I supposed to do?"

"Will you please think about it Michael? Don't answer right now. Take as long as you wish. It wasn't easy for me to ask, but I owe you that much as my husband. Please honey, please think about how I feel too."

Saying that I'm speechless or totally flabbergasted would be a gross understatement. I had absolutely no words to offer. My wife just asked me if she could fuck another man. I have no idea who she has in mind, as if that matters. How can I answer her question?

"I'm going to my office and think about what you're asking me to agree to. I don't know who I'm talking to. You look like my wife, but you don't act like my wife. Who are you?"

"Michael, please don't be mad at me. This is the hardest thing that I've ever asked of you, but...."

As her voice trailed off she reached her hand out and placed it on my lap. "I'm 44 honey, and I still need sex. You can't help it... I know you would change it if you could, but your heart won't let it happen. Please, Michael? Just one night? Please?"

I got off the couch as her hand fell to her side, "I'm going to my office to think. It's probably best that I sleep in the guest room tonight."

Mary looked hurt and dejected, but not half as much as me. How can a wife, any man's wife, ask something like that?

Closing the guest room door and locking it behind me keeps Mary away and gives me time to think. During the evening the word "Divorce" bounced around in my head. If my wife needs another man that much maybe we shouldn't be married! It would be a shame to throw 12 years away, but if she's happier with other men, divorce may be my best option. There are too many emotions flying around in my head to make any decisions right now. I need to cool down, get a good night's sleep, and revisit this shit show tomorrow.

The guest room bath is my bathroom anyway, and most of my clothes are in the guest closet, so I have everything I need to get ready for work in the morning. It was too early for bed, but I had nothing better to do, so I pulled the covers down and slipped between the sheets. I lay there for what seemed like hours before drifting off to sleep. Mary must have been reading my mind because she didn't knock on the door or interrupt my thoughts all evening, and that was a good thing because my response wouldn't have been very nice.

I woke up the next morning and got ready for work. When I opened the door to the guest room I smelled fresh coffee brewing. I was hoping that my wife would still be in bed, because I didn't want to face her and get my day started off on the wrong foot. But there she was, sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in her hand, waiting on me. Starting the day off with an argument puts me in a rotten mood for work.

"Can I get you a cup of coffee Michael?"

I nodded and said, "In a travel cup. I have to get going."

"Michael, can we talk for a minute before you go?"

"You did enough talking last night," then I said, "You have to give me more time to digest what you asked!"

On my way out of the door I heard my wife say, "I needed to tell you how I felt."

As the plant manager it's up to me to provide an example for my subordinates to follow, however, today I didn't get 2 minutes worth of work done. I would have been mad as hell with anybody that did as little work as I did today. Between the multiple meetings I attended my thoughts were dominated by my wife's words. She didn't cheat then tell me or let me discover her infidelity later. If nothing else comes of this at least my wife was honest with me. I guess that means something.

I left the plant to eat lunch. There is a chili dive around the corner. The food isn't very good, but it's close to work and convenient. I have a favorite table back in a corner of the restaurant that gives me a little privacy where I can think, eat and not be disturbed. However, today there is a lot of stuff on my mind and I need some alone time to think about my wife wanting some side dick. We didn't get much talking in before I blew a fuse and left her sitting on the couch last night.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and alerted me that I have a text message. It was my wife saying "I love you." I don't know how to respond to all of this. I'm mad that Mary wants a dude on the side. My ego got trampled and smashed into tiny bits when my wife told me what she wanted to do. And I'm pissed off that I have a bum heart and the side effects of the medications renders "My" dick useless.

The only silver lining that I see in this gray cloud is that Mary was open and honest with me, and I shouldn't be mad about that. Truthfully, if the shoe was on the other foot and Mary couldn't have sex, I would probably get tired of hand and blow jobs, and cheat on my wife to get some pussy. I couldn't have lasted 2 years without a woman, so how can I expect her to go 2 years without a man?

This is a no win situation for me. If I say "No" then as sure as the sun comes up in the east Mary will get tired of waiting and find some guy, somewhere, to take care of her needs. And if I say "Yes", Mary still finds a dude to fuck her. Either way somebody will be fuckin my wife, and it won't be me. Like I said.... no win!

So my only option is to say "Yes" and hope that I can take some control over the situation. As much as it pains me I had to tell my wife what I decided, so I sent her a text, "Love you. I have concerns that we need to talk about."

It didn't take very long for my wife to respond, "Thank you, Michael. I know it was difficult. We'll talk later," accompanied by a smiley face emoji.

It felt like the worst day of my life. Almost as bad as the day my wife's gynecologist to us Mary can't have children, or when my cardiologist told us there's nothing more that he can do for my heart or my "D"!

My wife greeted me home with a hug, big smile, and a kiss along with my favorite dinner. I tried to smile back, but she knew I was hurting inside. That's when I told my wife that I have some serious concerns that we have to talk through before we take another step.

The end of Part 1. Part 2 coming soon.