Lucy's and Ryley's Search for Love

Author's Note: I must thank LittleAlison for unlocking and guiding me through the door to the world of writing almost five years ago. Her constant support is my motivation to write.

I also need to thank the wonderful THBGato for stepping up and giving me editing advice and offering their point of view. This story is much better because of their involvement.

Lastly, this story is a slow burn. My favorite kind of story.

Lucy's And Ryley's Search For Love

My parents let me rent the cute two bedroom ranch as my off campus housing. But only if I promised to find a roommate to help with the rent. A female roommate they emphasized. Why is beyond me. They know how shy and introverted I am around boys.

I'm not sure why I completely shut down around guys. It's not like any boy ever hurt me or treated me badly. For better or worse, guys just ignored me. Admittedly, I ignored them as well. I was very neutral about their existence.

My shyness wasn't exclusively reserved for guys. Any large group of people and I could often be found looking for some place to hide. If I couldn't do that, I'd just stare nervously at the floor hoping no one would notice me.

Many people don't understand shy, introverted people. We don't necessarily want to be shy. We understand that it holds us back from meeting new people and socializing. We just can't help it.

Yes, we sometimes get fed up with being shy. That's why, every once in a while, you'll notice a shy person doing something completely out of character. Something extroverted.

All of a sudden we'll make eye contact with you, or reach out and touch your arm, or both. Sometimes an unexpected burst of boldness occurs and we'll tell a dirty joke.

That's us trying to break out of this box we put ourselves in. If things go badly, then right back in the box we go. If things go well, it will give us that much needed, much sought after, boost of confidence.

I did end up making friends with a small group of girls here at the university. One friend often over shared about the things she did with her boyfriend in bed. Some of the details got fairly graphic. While the other girls thought her exploits were exciting, I didn't.

I've long struggled with thoughts about who I might be attracted to. But I often pushed them aside. I had a hard enough time dealing with being shy and introverted. I didn't need to add possibly being gay to my list of social anxieties.

Oh, sorry... I got off on a tangent... where was I? Oh yes, the house. It was an older home in a nice residential neighborhood. Lined with mature maple trees. Yeah, it was further away than most off campus houses. But after living in a crowded dormitory my first two years here at Northern University, I was happy to get something at least semi-private.

The primary bedroom had its own bathroom, so you could say, for me, it was fully private. No more scurrying down the dormitory hallway wrapped in a damp towel with wet hair for this girl.

I posted an ad on the electronic billboard at school that I was looking for a female roommate. I gave a brief description, the rent, the address and my email address. Two weeks in, not a single response.

My parents were starting to give me a hard time because they couldn't afford to pay the entire rent by themselves. They told me that if I didn't find someone soon, I'd have to go back to the dormitory.

I reposted it, but with flattering pictures of the house this time. I mentioned that it was fully furnished, a safe quiet neighborhood, and that since I had my own bathroom, the main bathroom was pretty much theirs.

Two more weeks went by and no takers. I thought about dropping the rent a little. But I did my research and $500 a month was more than reasonable for what I was offering.

Then I got an email... from my father. That's how I know he was serious. He hates giving me bad news over the phone. He told me to start making arrangements to move into the dorm.

As I sat there, half staring at the screen, my eyes welled up. I thought to myself, I really can't go back to the dorm. Some of the girls were less than nice and often made fun of me.

See, I'm not only introverted and shy, I'm also a nerd. My major is mechanical engineering with a minor in computer science. I just love numbers and I love to figure out how things work.

The only male crowd I didn't feel inferior to or shy around were my engineering classmates. I was getting so desperate to find a roommate I thought about asking one of the guys in my class. But again, my parents insisted my roommate had to be female.

I was about to give in when a happy sounding 'Ding' came from my phone. Someone responded to my post! I was thrilled! At that point, I didn't care who it was, as long as it was a girl.

It was from a student named Ryley Stevens, asking me if she could see the place. We settled on 7pm that evening. I know I jumped the gun a bit, but I quickly and happily responded to my father that I found a female roommate and that I would send him the details soon.

I looked her up on the student database. She looked older, say early thirties, or what the university calls, a non-traditional student. Typically, people like Ryley start college later in life because they joined the military right after high school. Which turns out was the case with Ryley.

Not that it matters but she was also in her senior year. My heart sank as I realized, she's probably going to want to have guys over some nights. Why I didn't think of it before I don't know, but any roommate is probably going to want to have a guy over once in a while. Oh well. I'll just lock myself in my room when that happens, I told myself.

The database said Ryley was a psychology major, and on the swim team. I didn't think non-traditional students were allowed to compete in sports. Maybe she was a student coach or something.

An hour before Ryley's arrival, I was fluttering around the small house like a butterfly on six cups of coffee. I must have rearranged the colorful pillows on the large sectional a hundred times. Not to mention, checking my look in the hallway mirror every five minutes.

I even straightened my wavy red hair. I felt like this was a special occasion so I wanted to look my best. Ryley is my one and only chance to stay out of the dreaded dormitory, so everything had to be perfect.

I jumped when the doorbell finally rang, then gave myself one last look in the mirror. I was dressed to impress with my high waisted, mid thigh, light blue dress and matching heels. It was my favorite dress.

Between my bra and the cut of the dress, I was showing a little more cleavage than I liked. Not that I had THAT much to show.

I opened the thick wooden door to see Ryley, looking better than her picture. She was wearing a green baseball cap with her short ponytail looped through the back. A flattering white tank top with a small sports logo, form fitting black runners shorts with the same logo and slightly worn Vans.

Although she wore very little makeup, the gentle curve of her full lips caught my attention. The hint of gloss was a nice touch too. Ryley was on the thinner athletic side, yet still curvy. If that makes any sense.

"Hi... Lucy?" She asked, as she extended her hand with confidence.

Ryley's hazel eyes sparkled in the orange-yellow glow of sunset. Her mature attractiveness threw me for a loop. My mouth had difficulty forming words because my eyes were busy drinking all of her in.

My visceral reaction confused me. A mild nervousness, not shyness washed over me. I got this spooky feeling... like we already knew each other. I don't believe in 'past lives' but that's exactly what it felt like.

I eventually shook loose from her hypnotic gaze and put my hand out, palms clammy as they were. "Hi... Ryley? Um, nice to meet you," I said as we shook hands. Her grip was tighter than I expected. But it quickly slackened when I didn't return her extra firm grasp.

"Come on in, I'll show you around," grinning happily as my heart fluttered. At the time, I didn't know why.

I gave her the full tour of the 70's rancher, even my room.

"Lovely little place you have here honey." She smiled broadly. "Any paperwork I need to fill out?"

"You mean, you'll take it.. I mean the room?"

"Sure, it's very... um... um... nice." Her demeanor changed on the last word.

"But there's something I need to tell you. And I really hope that you're okay with it... I'm gay."

"No, that's fine!" My voice cracked. A big smile bloomed upon my face. For two reasons. First, I realized I wouldn't have to deal with guys coming and going.

Second, I thought she might be able to help me figure out my, am-I-gay, am-I-not-gay situation.

"Thanks, that's great... one more thing though. I'm currently unattached and searching miss-right... Or 'miss right now' if you know what I mean."

A crooked naughty smile popped onto her face before she continued. "What's your rule on... overnight guests, let's call them?"

I guess I should have thought about coming up with rules. As far as Ryley knew, this could have been my house. I mean, my name, and my parents' names are on the lease.

I sat down on the big cushy sectional and waved my hand to invite her to sit down too. I felt very adult at that moment.

Ryley sat close to me as more thoughts ran through my head. I'm really not in a position to make any rules. Ryley was the only person who answered my ad. Plus, it felt very strange talking to a woman at least ten years older than me like I had some kind of authority over her.

"Look Ryley, to be honest, I never really thought about... any rules. I lived in the Dorms the last two years where I was the butt of many jokes."

I looked down for a moment, then caught her gaze. "But I understand it, there's lots to make fun of. I'm petite... who am I kidding... I'm so short, I'm often mistaken for a pre-teen child. I've got this naturally wavy, bright red hair that some people think I dyed this color for attention. But attention was the last thing I want. I have more freckles than stars in the sky, and I'm a tad overweight. Not a lot, just the normal freshman fifteen. It just looks like much more on my, let's say, diminutive frame."

Ryley listened quietly until I was finished, then put her hand on my knee. "Oh honey, I'm sorry you had to go through that, And I know what it's like to be picked on, or made fun of. You have my sympathies and don't worry about any of that kind of talk coming from me."

I smiled softly at her as she continued.

"But I have had roommates. And what's worked in the past is just being respectful of each other's study and sleep time. I'm kind of a clean nut, so I'll never leave a mess behind. And when I bring a guest back here, I'll try to be as quiet as a church mouse... Okay?"

"Okay!" I replied. Happy that I was finally talking to an adult that understood things.

Looking delighted, Ryley said, "great! Where do I sign!"

I showed her the sublease agreement on my tablet that my dad drew up. She signed it with her finger, barely looking at it. I quickly hit, 'send.'

"When can I move in?" She beamed. Which made my heart skip a beat.

Before I could answer. "Could I move in tonight? I got most of my stuff in my car!"

"Sure, I guess... I mean yeah! Fine with me!" My smile was so wide, my lips touched my ears. It's done, no more dorms for sure.

"Thanks Luce!" she practically shouted, while giving me a hug. I instinctively hugged her back with the same excited energy. It was a long, tight hug. The kind of hug only close family shared... but it felt right. And that feeling that we somehow previously met, came rushing back too.

I thought to myself. I didn't even know we were on nickname terms yet. I didn't even know we were on hugging terms yet. I didn't even know I liked long hugs... with older women... pretty, outgoing older women... with toned athletic bodies. But apparently I do because I enjoyed the pulse raising goosebumps that lightly danced... all over my body.

As she pulled away, she let her fingertips trace down my arms, enticing even more goosebumps from my freckled skin. My arms instantly longed to feel her firm fit body again... why? Then her sparkling eyes locked on to mine once more, I felt a bond forming between us.

She gave my shoulder a squeeze, then practically bounced away shouting. "We're going to be great friends... I just know it!"

She was right. Over the next couple of weeks things went better than I expected. We instantly clicked. The bond created between us made me feel more relaxed and comfortable than with any friend I've had before. Being an only child, I imagined this is what having a sister would feel like.

There was one peccadillo of Ryley's I had to deal with on occasion. She was, as I suspected, in the military for a few years. I figured it was there that she picked up her, let's call it, 'salty language'. None of it was ever directed at me however.

It also wasn't difficult to hear Ryley anywhere in the house. My dad would have put it politely by saying... 'her voice tends to carry'.

I overheard Ryley many times on the phone with her friends. Calling whoever she was talking to, bitch, or slut or whore. But it was often followed by laughter.

I heard her, in a playful tone, say things like, "Hey my bitch! What's up?" Or, Hey, slutty Susie, how you doin?"

But the one sided conversation I heard recently had me wondering just how wild some of her friends were. It went something like this;

"Oh hey Ava, my favorite whore. How ya doin?"

"Ya, I gotta new place... Ya, my new roommate is really nice"

"Shut up, it's not like that."

"What about you? Find any special friends lately?"

"Whada mean you stumbled into a three-way? How does someone 'stumble' into a three-way?"

"Sisters! Really! You are such a naughty slut."

"And one of them did what to you in the shower the next morning?"

That's the last of the conversion I heard as Ryley went outside to continue talking to her friend Ava.

When she came back in, she knew I heard her. She explained that her name calling was more of a term of endearment or inside jokes between friends.

She continued to explain that many men in the military believe women shouldn't be in the Army. And those words were often directed at her and her friends behind their backs or right to their faces.

"See Luce, if me and my friends use those words toward each other, then it takes away the power those words have. And at the same time it brings me and my friends closer."

I guess I understood. I was content to know that it made sense in her world. Plus It didn't bother me at all. I mean it was nothing I hadn't heard before.

I also understood Ryley wasn't the type of woman to mince words. Around me though, she was more than polite.

Ryley was thrilled to learn that I liked to cook, because she hated it. (Part of the reason why I put on extra weight.) She showed her appreciation by setting the table, cleaning up afterwards, and hugging me. Her usual long, goosebump raising hugs.

A mighty battle raged in my head as to why I felt so relaxed around her, why I liked Ryley's hugs so much. I think it was the WAY she hugged me. Our bodies would make contact from head to toe. Her strong arms would wrap all the way around my slightly chunky yet petite body. It made me feel loved.

My head always landed sideways, barely above her modest pillowy breasts. Her natural scent made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. When we hugged it was like our bodies were having some sort of secret conversation.

I could no longer deny the decidedly intimate chemistry we shared. For the first time in my life I had the feeling that I wanted to be more than just friends with someone.

But those feelings also scared me. I liked being the quiet and shy Lucy, it was something I knew well. I was a 'late bloomer' and wasn't used to being attracted to anyone. But yet, another part of me wanted to explore those new feelings.

And what was her reason for giving me long, tender loving hugs. Is she somehow attracted to me? But how? She never told me her age, but she's got to be about ten years older than me. Was there something missing from her life? Did her family not accept her? She'd been pretty tight-lipped whenever the subject of family came up. Only talking about her grandparents on occasion.

And although it was subtle at first, I soon found my self-esteem improving by leaps and bounds. These past few weeks I found myself eating healthier and even exercising. That's the kind of influence Ryley had on me. She made me want to be a better person.

I did some research and found that long hugs will do that. Along with increasing one's oxytocin levels and lowering one's cortisol levels. Which brought me a sense of calmness, contentment and well-being. The article I read also said that hugging helps develop a more intimate relationship between two people. And that was certainly the case. The thing I couldn't figure out was... is Ryley doing it just to me, or was she a naturally huggy type girl?

Ryley was also very respectful when she brought home, as she put it, an overnight guest. Most times I was already in bed when I heard her creep in late at night with another girl. The creaky hardwood floors betrayed her attempt to be quiet on her way to her bedroom.

I often heard soft music coming from her room. I assumed it was to help mask any 'noises' coming from her room. It was only partially effective. Muted wails of ecstasy often pierced the walls. I wondered what exactly was going on in her bedroom.

I'm not stupid or a prude, and I've watched lesbian porn online. But what was Ryley doing? What did Ryley like? I giggled to myself, well I'm sure it's more than long hugs.

Another month went by and we settled into a very comfortable, friendly, an almost 'couple' type routine. Ryley, true to her word, seemed to bring home a different college girl most weekends. While I concentrated on my studies and... um... MY version of self care we'll call it... Masturbation.

It was a skill I perfected over a short time. I could cum as quick as a few minutes, or through orgasm denial, I could make the wonderful tinges last for hours. The full length mirror in my bedroom was a big help. My favorite thing to do was to try and maintain eye contact with myself as I came.

***

One Friday night, I was up later than usual. I got caught up in a rom-com on TV. I had just gotten myself a second glass of Ryley's wine and some popcorn. (Technically I wasn't old enough to drink yet, but Ryley never minded me having a glass or two of her wine.) I was just about to unpause the movie when I heard the door open. Ryley tip-toed into the dimly lit entryway with a cute, long haired blonde freshman in tow.

I normally have the living room lights off when I watch a movie so neither saw me. Ryley shut the door and quickly pinned her date to the door. Within seconds, the sights and sounds of passionate kissing filled the room.

Being just about six feet away, and in the shadows of a tv screen paused in between scenes, I stayed frozen on the couch. The two girls were infatuated with each other.

All of a sudden zippers started unzipping and buttons started flying. It was a display of adventurous sexual abandon like I've never witnessed.

Freshman girls look so childlike, I thought. And they are. Just a few months prior they were barely eighteen and still in high school. I also thought... that young blonde girl could have been me two years ago. Not currently making a meal out of Ryley's neck, but just being fresh out of high school and wondering what relationship scenario was right for me. Looks like she had all figured it out.

I knew I should have said something, or at least cleared my throat. But I had turned to stone, fascinated by the lusty commotion happening right before my eyes.

The thought of being caught watching them had my heart beating faster than a marathon runner. My eyes grew wide as clothes began falling to the floor. I found myself stealthily slinking down into the couch as far as I could go.

The blonde girl's teal bra and panties seemed to melt off her body. I slowly pulled the knitted afghan my grandmother made me over my head.

Funny how she knitted it to look like a rainbow, I thought. Did she suspect something about me that I didn't even know myself?

The knitting was loose enough for me to still see Ryley kissing her way down the young girl's body. Ryley knelt on the carpeted floor as she placed one of the petite girl's legs over her shoulder. Soon I was treated with the sounds of Ryley's tongue lapping against the teenager's pussy. Coaxing out the juices from within.

I was trying to keep my breathing normal. But that was nearly impossible with my heart beating out of my chest. I kept still as a statue while watching the true blonde pull Ryley's face into her glistening pussy. Moans and light squeals escaped the petite girl's mouth.

The moans grew louder as the naked young girl, still leaning against the door, shivered and bucked from what looked like a fabulous, body tingling orgasm.

Ryley took her time kissing her way back up to the lithe girl's lips. Pausing a moment at each of the freshmen's long nipples for a quick snack. Ryley and the girl returned to frantically kissing each other for several minutes. "You taste wonderful, don't you agree?" I heard Ryley whisper.

"I need to taste you now?" The obviously still horny freshman responded with a girlish giggle. Where Ryley found this cute and confident young lesbian was beyond me.

Ryley and her 'guest' frantically picked up all the clothes. "Please be quiet, my roommate is sleeping. Although maybe not after that noisy orgasm of yours," she giggled.

I didn't think it was possible, but my heart beat even harder as my eyes were glued to Ryley's curvy, topless, thirty-something body. The cute, wonderfully nude teenager being pulled down the hallway wasn't bad to gaze at either. I was finally able to breathe when Ryley's bedroom door closed and the music began.

I never thought of myself as a voyeur, but if my racing heart rate was any indication, that was the most amazing experience of my life. I basically just watched a live lesbian pornographic movie in my living room. I've never been more aroused... ever!

I didn't have to slip my hand in my panties to know that I was soaking wet, but I did it anyway. I closed my eyes to recall the sapphic visions I saw a few moments earlier. I pictured Ryley's tongue licking the young girl's pussy. Suddenly, I was wishing it was my pussy she was licking. I softly sighed as my fingers found my slippery clit. Where was my mirror when I needed it, I thought.

As if on autopilot, my other hand slipped a finger inside me. Again, wishing it was Ryley's finger. I moaned as my two hands effortlessly brought me closer to that peak of pleasure. I quietly whispered out loud to an empty living room. "Fuck me Ryley, fuck me!" My hand decided a second finger was necessary and I let out new impassioned moans.

My whispering continued. "Oh yes Ryley, fuck me. Oh God, I love how you fuck me! Please don't stop... I'm gonna cum!"

My dirty talk likely pushed my heart rate well over two hundred when I finally fell over that wonderful edge. My eyes pinched as every muscle in my body twitched without restriction. The tingles building up inside me finally consumed all of me as I stiffened and I came over and over... It was an orgasm for the ages... And a new fantasy for me to relive as often as I'd like.

***

I was up early the next morning and in a great mood. I couldn't wait to see Ryley. I wanted to give her that, I-know-what-you-did-last-night, look.

Rather than our normal cold cereal and fruit, I decided to make a nice, but not necessarily healthy breakfast for me and Ryley... And of course, her guest, if she was so inclined. I figured the aroma of homemade pancakes and bacon would wake them up.

I have to admit, I did feel a twinge of jealousy as I watched the unbridled sex happening right before my eyes last night. But then again, what would make me think Ryley could ever be attracted to me. I never told her that I was questioning my sexuality. Hell, I'm not even a hundred percent sure what I'm looking for myself. I just know that I felt very close to Ryley. And I liked what I saw. And I wished it was me.

What I didn't expect was to see the cute freshman girl coming out of the bathroom... naked. She squealed when she saw me and ran. I giggled quietly to myself, as I watched her adorable little derrière disappear into Ryley's bedroom.

A few moments later I heard them come down the hallway from Ryley's bedroom. "Don't worry about it." I heard Ryley whisper, "my roommate is very cool."

"Hey Luce... um... this is my... um friend... Abby. I hope we didn't wake you last night."

"Or this morning," Abby giggled like a schoolgirl.

"Shush," Ryley playfully chastised.

"Nope! Didn't hear a thing... Slept like a baby." I tried to keep a straight face, but I was just having so much fun picturing them at the front door.

"Well," Ryley announced. "Abby told me in my bedroom that she has to leave. She has swim practice early this morning and has to get going."

I looked over my shoulder as Ryley and Abby traded whispers near the front door. Their goodbye kiss appeared cordial and sweet.

I heard Ryley's bare feet coming back towards me as I flipped the pancakes.

She hugged me from behind. This is new, I thought. "That's so sweet of you to make us breakfast," she said as she hummed.

And why is it when someone hugs you from behind that way, you naturally lean back into the hug... or is that just me.

"It is for both of us isn't it?... I just assumed," she said with a smile while tightening the hug... and those damn goosebumps danced all over my skin once more.

"Yup, of course, it's for both of us." I said feeling the tingles down to my toes, and hoping that she'd hug me a bit longer. She did.

"Grab a plate and take a seat", I said. As I forced myself to pull away from the hug.

I continued, "you can tell me all about your date with Abby." I couldn't help but let out the giggle I was holding in all morning.

Ryley grabbed the orange juice from the fridge, poured us each a glass and sat down. I served her while she said in a playful voice, "Why? Didn't you get enough of an eye full last night?"

I nearly dropped the hot pan in her lap. "What... um... you knew I was on the couch?

"I didn't know exactly where you were at first. Between the little bit of light from the TV and the smell of fresh popcorn I figured you were awake and somewhere close by. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the afghan moving slightly on the couch," she said nonchalantly while drowning her pancakes in syrup.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to spy on you. I just kind of froze. You guys quickly started kissing and then clothes started coming off, and... and... I didn't know what to do."

She cut her pancake with her fork, then looked me dead in the eyes. "Did you like what you saw?"

I don't know about you, but when someone looks me straight in the eyes, I just can't lie. But I can look down and not open my mouth.

Ryley lifted my chin to make eye contact again. "Luce, it's fine if you say yes. Straight women are allowed to like watching lesbians have sex. Hell, you'd have to be a monk not to like it."

"Yes," I said while keeping eye contact.

"See, was that so hard?" She went back to eating her pancakes. "These are really good! Are they real blueberries I taste?"

Ryley said Abby was what she calls a baby-gay. Just starting out, but extremely eager to please and explore.

"How'd you know she was gay?" I asked with a bit more enthusiasm than I expected.

"It was only a few years ago that I realized I was gay. Well, now that I think about it, I was twenty-five. It was a year before I got out of the army. Now I'm thirty-three, and I've mostly dated women my own age. But here at the university there seems to be so many girls that want to 'experiment', I guess is the right word."

She drank a bit of OJ then continued.

"Here at the university I don't have to go looking for dates, they come to me. I've been here three years now and I'll bet I've 'dated' at least thirty girls. Mostly juniors or seniors, but sometimes freshmen like Abby."

"Yeah, she looked like she was right out of high school." I commented.

"But here's the thing, Luce. I like it... I mean, I like dating young girls more than women my age. They have this unbridled energy once things get going. Some of them don't seem to have an off switch.

"Plus, I like the attention I'm getting from all the young girls. It makes me feel like a teenager again. A teenager that didn't get to be with other teenage girls... Do you think that makes me a bad person?"

"No, I guess not. Age gap relationships are everywhere. My mom and dad are ten years apart in age." I smiled.

"Thanks Luce, it means a lot to hear you say that."

Ryley quickly added. "That's not to say if someone special came into my life, I wouldn't drop the other girls for her." I noticed Ryley's voice softened as she said that.

A silence fell over the room and it hit me. Did she mean me?

Without knowing it, I must have had a bit of a naughty smile when I asked. "So... um... did you have a good time with Abby?"

"If you want details, I'll give you details." Ryley smiled.

I quickly interrupted, "no, no, no. Just, um, in general. Did you guys go out somewhere? Do you think there's more than a physical attraction?

"Maybe I guess. I just don't know if I want something long term right now. And I don't think Abby does either. We're just having fun right now."

Ryley turned her attention back to her breakfast for a moment then said. "Okay, I spilled my guts, now it's your turn... what's your deal?"

"I... I don't think I have a deal. I'm still a virgin." My mouth made words, but my brain was still contemplating her last statement.

"Ok, fine, but do you like guys? Girls? Both?"

I can't believe I said this out loud, but I felt very close to Ryley. "To be honest, I'm not sure... It's actually something I'm wrestling with right now. But I have to admit, I'm much more relaxed and would rather be around girls than guys."

"But you liked what you saw last night, right? I mean you liked watching us kiss, and all that other fun stuff."

"Yes... I guess..."

"You guess huh. I bet you liked it a lot!" she said with a confident grin.

I thought to myself, I have nothing to be ashamed of. I can admit it. "Yes, I liked it... a lot," I said with my own growing confidence. But I still couldn't make eye contact.

I could tell she was letting that revelation percolate in her mind as she neared the end of her breakfast. And so was I.

Did I just basically admit that I liked girls? I think I did. Or can I say I really like Ryley, and not necessarily all girls. My confusion continues, I thought.

More silence. It lasted so long, I thought she was going to change the subject, but no such luck.

"So, did you have a nice time with yourself afterwards? Did you play with yourself I mean?

"I know I did the first time I watched two women. It happened one night in the showers. They thought they were alone, but I was just around the corner. I snuck over and watched two the women kissing and fingering each other. Later I fingered myself. One of the best orgasms of my life," she said, matter-of-factly.

"I feel comfortable around you Ryley, but that's a little too personal, isn't it?"

"No, not at all. Masturbation is perfectly normal, and healthy. I have an active sex life and I'm still down to masturbating once or twice a day."

I just looked at my plate and concentrated on my food. As comfortable as I am with Ryley I wasn't sure I could talk about something that private. At least not yet. Ryley went back to eating. She seemed to let it go.

Ryley is right about one thing, masturbation is perfectly normal. I know I enjoy masturbation very much. I guess most girls do. But this is where I feel weird. I need to masturbate three or four times a day to feel happy and stress free. Is that normal? I thought to myself.

Thinking back on it, technically, I'm not a virgin. Just last year during summer break I found my mom's vibrating dildo. It freaked me out when I first found it in her closet. I wanted to try it out, but it was my mother's.

The thought of both of us using it felt a little creepy. Then a great idea popped into my head. I'll put a condom over it. Condoms are easy to buy.

One day when my parents weren't around, I tried it out. Just one little switch brought it to life. I laid the noisy little toy between my labia; that sensation alone was nice. It took only a few goosebump raising minutes before I was wet. But my pussy wanted more. A bit more pressure and it slipped in with little effort.

Again, I just let it sit there, the vibrations pulling pleasure from everywhere inside me. My breathing deepened as I built up the nerve to press it in all the way. I met some resistance and knew from health class what was about to happen.

My brain said that it was now or never. The slightest push further in and I felt it. My hymen broke. Contrary to what my friends said, I barely felt any pain. In fact the sensation of fullness was wonderful.

I spent the next several minutes slowly gliding the battery powered lover in and out of me. I concentrated on the delightful tingles traveling throughout my body. But as nice as this experience was, I realized it wasn't enough to bring on an orgasm that humping my pillow could have done.

I got an idea, I slipped the fake penis completely out and gilded it across my clit. "Oooo!" I screamed. Happy that my parents weren't home. That was a little too much. I laid the vibrating toy alongside my clit, and, as Goldilocks would say, it was just right.

The tingles inside me continued to multiply as I guided Monty (that's the name I gave it) around my clit. It seemed like every little vibration gave birth to a hundred new tingles. Finally my body couldn't process anymore, I burst into cries of joy. "Oh fuck!" I screamed as my orgasm treated me like a rag doll.

My body twisted one way then the next. I thrashed about as Monty occasionally made direct contact with my sensitive clit. Which caused my hips to lift off the bed. The hand that wasn't trying to keep Monty in place fisted the sheets, holding on for dear life.

With the little control I had, and curious as to how much of this I could take. I let the pulsating phallus rest directly on my clit once more. Over and over my hips reached for the ceiling, until they stayed up. Bursts of shivers consumed me as my stomach tightened, even more than it had been doing. To my surprise, I squirted all over my bed sheets.

I didn't know if it was pee or not, all I know is that I loved what was happening. After the third time every muscle in my body had enough. I just couldn't go on. I collapsed on my bed, feeling like a boxer that got knocked out in the tenth round.

I laid there, wet from sweat, wet from cum and wet from pee or whatever it was that shot out of me. I forced my wobbly legs into the bathroom, turned on the warm water and laid down in the tub.

That was an orgasm I will never forget, I told myself.

For the next few weeks, if my parents weren't home, you could always find me, in my bedroom, making love to Monty. Or was Monty making love to me? At one point I knew I couldn't borrow Monty as often as I wanted. But I didn't know how to get one of my own. I was certainly too shy to buy one in a store.

A few days later when I popped into my bedroom with excitement, knowing my parents weren't home, and I could once again give myself another mind blowing orgasm. I noticed a box, nicely gift wrapped, sitting on my bed. I opened the attached card. It was from my mother.

It read, To my lovely daughter Lucy. Believe it or not, my mother did the same for me when I was about your age. So now I'm passing on the tradition. If you're anything like me and your grandmother, you'll be using it often... haha. Love you forever, Mom. PS. Don't worry, we will never speak of this. We'll pretend like it never happened.

When I opened the box I got the shock of my life. It was a pink vibrating dildo, but this one was softer, curvy, and had an extra vibrating part that I would find out later was for my clit. (I named this one, Max.)

I was immediately shocked and mortified. My mother must have figured out that I was using hers. I never thought I'd be able to look my mother in the eye again. But true to her word, she acted as if nothing happened. And eventually things did return to normal.

Later in life I would realize what a wonderful mother she was for doing that for me. I mean, how many mothers would do such a thing for their daughter? Our relationship changed after that. We were more like two adults. She still gave me motherly hugs and kisses at times. But she no longer treated me like a child.

I finally popped out of my delightful daydream about the past when Ryley asked, I think for the second time, "you done?" As her hand rested gently on my shoulder.

"Um... yeah," I said, finally fully present.

Ryley leaned down to grab my plate, her other hand still on my shoulder. Then her warm breath whispered against my ear. "So... Do you want to watch me again tonight?"

I quickly spun my head and just looked at Ryley in disbelief.

"What? It'll be fun. Abby just texted me a nude picture of herself in the locker room. The caption reads, how about tonight?" she smiled.

"Don't you think that would be an invasion of her privacy? I mean her not knowing that she's being watched."

"Not really," Ryley countered. "I told her when we got to my bedroom that I was pretty sure you were watching us from underneath the afghan on the couch. She said she didn't mind."

I got up from the table and leaned back against the counter as Ryley dried the dishes. I gave her a look of uncertainty.

She stopped for a second to say, "would it help if I told you that I like, no, I love being watched?"

"Really?"

"As I said before, I'm a free spirit. And I've found over the years that being watched takes my excitement to another level. But last night was even better. You didn't know that I knew that you were watching us. It made me tingle all over."

"I don't know Ryley..."

"Tell ya what, I'll be home around 11:30 tonight. Doing the exact same thing as last night. Do what you will with that information."

***

We spent the rest of the morning cleaning the common areas of the house. Ryley must have had some kind of cleaning OCD. Even my mom didn't clean our house so thoroughly.

As she pushed around the heavy old vacuum that came with the place, she looked like a woman on a mission. She looked like she was mad at the carpet for getting dust on it. She either lifted or moved every piece of furniture. Sometimes with one hand.

The green hat she wore around the house wasn't a baseball cap as I first thought. It was a similar looking olive green hat that I've seen military people wear.

Ryley looked sweaty and flushed from moving All the furniture. At one point she threw off her green tank top in one quick motion. I assumed she was becoming overheated and wanted to be more comfortable.

There she was again, almost naked. Except for that silly hat and some loose fitting green boxers. I didn't move.

All of a sudden, that continuing battle about who I was attracted to became top of mind. Not just because she was topless, although that didn't hurt. It was the way she carried herself. I found her subtle curves and her fluid movements to be highly attractive.

"What, you've never seen a topless woman clean before? Come on, quit gawking and get back to dusting," she ordered in a stern military voice. I guess I was staring... a little.

I thought she was overdoing the military attitude a little, so standing at attention, I sarcastically responded with a salute, "Sir, Yes Sir!"

A spark of confidence and a wave of silliness came over me and I continued, "nice breasts, Sir."

Ryley broke into uproarious laughter. So much so, she had to steady herself by grasping the back of the couch. "That's a good one Luce."

I started laughing too.

"I'm sorry Luce, it's just when I get to cleaning I become hyper-focused. All my energy goes into cleaning. Then the army woman in me comes out."

"That's okay, my mom sometimes gets like that, hyper focused when cleaning I mean."

Ryley copied my silliness, stood straight up and thrust her chest out in a military way.

"So, you think that my breasts look nice, private?"

To keep the silly joke going I stood at attention again too. "Yes, they are nice size and your nipples point straight forward." I giggled. "Sir."

Leaning forward, and in a completely different voice she softly said, "they call women in the military, ma'am."

"Yes ma'am!" I snapped back, still standing at attention.

She marched over to me with a sly grin. "It's my turn to see your breasts now soldier!"

The shy girl in me wanted to run away. But I told myself that I'm going to have to grow out of this shyness phase sooner or later. Plus, this was Ryley, a woman I would definitely call a friend, if not a sister. She makes me feel comfortable and confident. Who else better than her to break out of this self imposed life of singularity?

But shyness and insecurity don't disappear instantly. My mind was at odds with my hands. Fear of the unknown caused me to tremble a bit while slowly removing my oversized pink nightshirt. I think Ryley thought that I was teasing her.

But I did it! Standing there in just my panties, my heart felt like it was visibly pounding out of my chest. Ryley stared at me for a moment. Then snapped back into this pseudo-military, pseudo-cos-play thing we had going. Who started it anyway, oh yeah... me.

With a playful smile, but still a military voice, she said, "very nice soldier. What are those, b cup?"

"Yes... Sargent." I didn't know military jargon but I hoped it was appropriate.

She started walking around me. Inspecting me like I've seen in the movies.

When Ryley came back in front of me her shoulders dropped and her silly smile disappeared. She went ghostly white. Her face looked like she was in pain. But then, as she was staring at my panties, a loving and peaceful smile filled her oval face.

She suddenly sprung back into her military character. With a big smile in her voice. "What's this soldier? Hello Kitty panties? What are you ten years old! They're a disgrace to the uniform. Take them off."

Her initial reaction gave pause. Plus my newfound boldness was only going so far. That was a line I wasn't ready to cross... yet. But I had a plan.

A shy silly smile crossed my face. "After you, General."

"I'm General now am I? Well, you must think very highly of me. I don't usually do this for the enlisted soldiers, but for you, I'll make an exception."

Ryley stood just inches from me, gazing into my eyes with naughty intent. She pushed, then wiggled her hips until I heard the soft sound of her green plaid boxers hitting the carpet.

"Eyes up here soldier!" she commanded, but still playfully smiling. AND catching me trying to get a glimpse of her pussy. A naked Ryley stared into my eyes with that hypnotic look she gave me the first night we met. Again, my eyes felt trapped, not able to break her gaze.

Her hand slowly slid up my arm. She left happy little tingles in her wake. My heart pounded as her hand drifted over my shoulder and up my neck. A finger on her other hand traced my bottom lip as her gaze turned serious.

At that moment, I sensed Ryley was about to kiss me. The hand on my neck slipped up into my wavy hair as I watched her lips take aim at mine.

Like a switch had been flipped, the new bold me vanished without a trace. I got cold feet. I went into full panic mode. My entire body screamed, 'get out of there!' I let out a screech and ran off to the security of my bedroom. I guess I wasn't as ready as I thought I was.

A few moments later Ryley tapped quietly at my door. "Luce, are you okay? I'm so sorry honey. I didn't mean to upset you. I didn't mean to force myself on you."

She didn't force herself on me, I liked what was happening... I loved what was happening. But now the moment's gone... I've ruined everything, I thought.

I kept quiet, my face buried in my pillow. I felt so stupid and embarrassed. What was I thinking? I asked myself.

Like a spoiled child I didn't respond to Ryley, even after her multiple apologies and repeated attempts to get me to talk.

Everything was going so well. Why didn't I just let her keep going? Why did I run away? I really thought I was ready. Part of me definitely wanted more, at least at that particular moment. Fear is a funny thing with me, it seems to come and go at will.

I slowly got dressed while occasionally catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. How could someone as pretty as Ryley want a child-like redhead like me anyway, I thought.

Just look at me, I've got so many freckles, I could almost qualify as a different race. And this stupid red hair... there's so much of it. Maybe I could cut it really short, I told myself.

And she was right about my panties too. What's wrong with me? I'm twenty years old and wearing Hello Kitty underwear. You're not a child, I chastised my reflection.

The only good thing I felt about my body was that I was able to lose that freshman-fifteen. Ryley pointed out all the sugary processed food that I was eating. I was glad that she got me eating healthier and exercising.

I got dressed in a basic white bra and panties. A plain white T-shirt, and blue jeans.

I sat on the edge of my bed for what seemed like an hour, wondering what I was going to say to Ryley. I told myself to just be honest and open. To tell her exactly how I'm feeling.

The squeaky hinge on my bedroom door announced my exit. Riley was dressed and sitting at the kitchen table with her head in her hands. She looked up at me with a dried trail of tears on her face. I was so mad at myself. I made Ryley cry. My heart sank.

"I'm so sorry Luce, please forgive me. I won't do it again, I promise." Ryley's warm apologetic eyes echoed her words.

"No, no, no. It wasn't you, it was me... I'm just so confused these days," I said in a somber tone.

"What do you mean? Like whether you like girls or guys?"

"Yes... No... I don't know... It's so difficult to explain." I sat down at the bright yellow table, clutching my hands in front of me. "I like sex, heck, I do it to myself all the time. I just don't know if or how to have sex with anyone else. I mean, I think I'd like to have sex with someone."

My eyes fluttered all over the kitchen as my brain tried to find the right words. "Oh hell, it's not coming out the way I want... Ryley, I think."

Ryley's hands covered mine and she cut me off with a soft voice, "is it ok if I give you a hug?"

"Yes... I think I'd like that," I replied shyly.

Her strong arms wrapped around me and I melted into her. My arms caressed her as she swayed us side to side humming what I first thought was a children's tune. But soon realized that it was a country tune called, Back In Baby's Arms.

That tender moment continued for several minutes, cementing a bond that started the day we met. I felt a deep friendship love, AND a romantic love for Ryley. But my desire to have sex with her seems to fluctuate. If it happened, I think I would like it. I feel so emotionally messed up sometimes.

I was about to continue my explanation when Ryley held me at arm's length and said, "Look, I want us to go back to being friends. I mean, I don't want things to be awkward between us... I have an idea, why don't we just go out somewhere."

I wrapped my arms tightly around myself. I think it's kind of a coping mechanism. "What about your date tonight?"

"I'll text Abby, I'm sure she'll find another girl to go out with. Anyway you're more important. Look, tonight is the last night for the state fair. We could go on some rides, play games on the midway. We could be rebels and eat some tasty food that isn't good for us... whaddya say Luce, it'll be fun?"

I could never say no to that pretty face and sparkling eyes. Not to mention her beguiling smile. And I wanted to reach out, but holding on to myself felt good at that moment.

I looked into Ryley's sparkling eyes for a long moment. "Okay," I said with a soft smile, "that DOES sound like fun!" I finally uncrossed my arms.

The state fair was only twenty minutes away. It was an unusually warm autumn afternoon and Ryley had one of those Jeep vehicles that has removable doors and roof. It was kind of scary at first, watching the road go wheezing by down near my feet. No matter how snug I made the seatbelt, it didn't seem tight enough.

Ryley noticed, and reached over to hold my hand. I could tell she wasn't doing it just for safety, but also for my comfort. I don't think it was for anything romantic. With that said, I could feel that unmistakable bond we shared.

I was scared when it came to most carnival rides. The Tea Cups are as wild as I usually get. But Ryley kept pestering me to go on other rides until I sheepishly said, "okay, but only if you hold my hand like you did in the Jeep."

"Gladly!" She practically shouted.

She interlaced our fingers and rarely let go of me the rest of the night. That feeling that I wanted to 'be' with her surfaced several times as we walked around and stood in line.

Since I'm kinda short and freckled faced, people probably thought that we were mother - daughter, or aunt and niece. It helped me feel less self conscious about holding her hand.

We had a great time on all the rides. Then we started walking around the food tents. The lights, the crowds, the aroma, it's a celebration for the senses. My dad often said, 'if heaven has a smell, it's the midway of a fair.'

In order not to eat too much we split everything we ordered. My favorite was the desert, homemade apple pie alamode with chocolate syrup drizzled on top. The sugar rush was intense.

Before we left, Ryley convinced me to go on one last ride... the Ferris wheel. Out of all the rides, it was the scariest one for me. When we got to the top the wind blew cold. Our hair was flying all over. I had a crushing grip on Ryley's hand, but I still felt scared. That's when she wrapped her arms around me and started humming that tune again. My head naturally leaned on her shoulder and every ounce of tension just melted away. Our bond felt complete at that moment. I realized that nothing could hurt me while I was in her arms. Thoughts of kissing Ryley popped into my head. But instead, I closed my eyes and enjoyed the closeness of the moment.

We held hands all the way out of the fair and all the way home in the Jeep. But it felt different this time. The way her fingers intertwined with mine... now there was a feeling of romance.

The ride home was dark and quiet. It gave me time to think. If there ever was a time, if there ever was a person that I wanted to make love to, it would be Ryley.

The little game we played in the living room that morning was fun... until I ruined it. And Ryley promised not to do anything like that again. So if anything was going to happen, it was going to be up to me to initiate, I told myself.

My thoughts were interrupted by Ryley. "Hey Luce, you up for a little adventure?" She asked with a touch of excitement in her voice.

I had no clue what she meant, and it was getting late. But to show that I trusted her, I responded with similar enthusiasm. "Sure, whatever you want to do?"

I think she was surprised I didn't object and quickly started explaining herself. "There's a place I go when I need to get away from the stress and craziness of the world."

"Sounds great!" I grinned.

"It's off road a ways, but it's worth it," she continued.

"I trust you completely Ryley, you don't have to oversell it."

She looked over at me and smiled broadly. I smiled back and squeezed her hand.

We went from the highway, to a two lane road, to a dirt road. It was rather bumpy, she had to let go of my hand to put both of her hands on the wheel. I grabbed the large handle on the dashboard in front of me. That's why that's there, I thought.

She drove up the dark, thick, tree lined road for what seemed like forever. The air was getting a bit cooler and the aroma of the forest reminded me of the summer I went to sleep-away-camp.

Those innocent young teenage memories came flooding back. It gave me another reason to smile.

We came to a clearing and she pulled over. The moon was directly overhead and as bright as I've ever seen it.

I was staring up in amazement when she said. "We have to hoof it from here, but it's not too far... Aren't you glad I told you to wear sneakers?"

"WOW!" I said as she pulled a heavy looking hiking backpack from her Jeep and slung it over her shoulders. She reached her other hand toward mine... and like a magnet, my hand grasped hers.

"Wait, it gets even better," she practically giggled while pulling me along. "Come on!"

The moon lit a narrow pathway. And the crackling under our feet as we walked were the once colorful leaves of autumn that have long lost their luster.

It was up another hundred feet or so until we came to a large slanted rock edge. When we got to the peak, the wind caught my hair. My eyes blinked fast. There it was, the city, a roadmap of bright white and colored lights.

The twinkling stars, which were visible all the way down to the horizon, reminded me of a snow globe.

As I gazed wide eyed, admiring the breathtaking view, Ryley laid out a heavy blanket from her backpack. She draped it over a rock area that let us sit and lean back a bit. Almost like we were sitting on a lounger.

"Here, sit," she said softly.

As we sat down the warm air was cut by a cool breeze that swept through me. I pulled myself tight up next to her, hips touching. The extra warmth was nice, but she felt stiff.

"This is amazing Ryley, do you come up here often?"

"I used to come up here often... I haven't felt the need to lately though. But when I do, I feel... closer to them."

"Closer to who? Those words came out faster than my brain could process the possibilities. And I didn't mean to sound nosy, but maybe that's how she took it.

Ryley stayed quiet for a long while. It was almost as if I didn't even ask her a question. She finally answered me in a solemn tone.

"My family."

Oh crap, I thought to myself. What can of emotional worms did I open up? Ryley started rummaging through her backpack. She pulled out four of those little airline size bottles of booze.

"What flavor do you like? I got lemon, cherry, grape or raspberry vodka."

"Oh, I'm not much of a vodka drinker, Ryley."

"Look, if I'm gonna tell you this story, I'm gonna need a drink... and I don't like to drink alone if I can help it." She didn't sound upset, just serious. Which is a side of her I wasn't used to. Up until this point, she'd always been the happy-go-lucky type.

"Cherry I guess."

She opened her tiny bottle of raspberry and drank about half of it. I sipped on mine, and my face crinkled. The cherry flavor didn't come close to covering up the strong taste of alcohol.

"Myley, my sister, was five years younger than me," she just blurted out. "We were at school when the EF 4 tornado ripped through our little midwestern town. The school was spared but our bungalow style house never stood a chance. It was torn completely off its foundation. Our parents' bodies were found two blocks away."

Ryley finished her little bottle in one gulp while I struggled to get down a few more sips. The seriousness of her situation hit me hard.

"My parents weren't the only ones. Several people died that day. The news reports were calling it a miracle that the school wasn't touched... Maybe, but I wouldn't call it a miracle. The tornado made several children orphans that day."

Another cool breeze kicked up and I snuggled a bit closer to Ryley. I stayed quiet as my sips got a little bigger.

"Myley and I were shipped off to our grandparents' farm two states away. My dad's parents thought hard work was the best way to keep the devastated feelings we carried off our minds. We were only kids but we did the work of adults."

I don't know if it was the sadness of the story or the numbness of my mouth, but I quickly drank the rest of my vodka.

"That went on for years, getting up at 4am, doing chores for a few hours, then a mile walk to school. More chores when we got home, then dinner, homework, and bed. Far from the carefree lives we used to live.

"Our grandparents were hard working, salt-of-the-earth people. But when it came to expressing affection, well, they just didn't. Because of that Myley and I ended up sharing the same bed most nights. Just some sisterly cuddling to help each other deal with our devastating loss."

"I'm sorry Ryley... Where's your sister now?

She opened another small bottle and drank all of it in one head tilt. Her voice cracked. "Dead, most likely," she said, staring off into the twinkelling void in front of us.

I noticed a tear break from her eyes. After a long pause, she pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them and continued.

"I was sick one day and stayed home from school. Myley, ten at the time, walked to school by herself." Ryley paused while looking up, trying not to let any more tears fall from her eyes.

It took her a moment. Then looking straight ahead again, she continued. "Myley never made it to school that day and nobody knows what happened."

After a moment, tears streamed down her face, but she remained stoic. "The only thing the cops found was her Hello Kitty backpack."

I inhaled deeply as a shock ran through my body. My Hello Kitty panties must have triggered Ryley earlier today, I thought to myself.

A slow stream of tears fell from her cheeks as she tried in vain to remain emotionless. She pretended it didn't hurt like hell to relive the story.

"The local community came out in force. Hundreds of people tried looking for Myley. We were all so grateful. They searched miles and miles of forest without finding any trace of her."

Tears started running down MY face. I needed to do something... but what?

Ryley's legs laid flat just as before. She continued talking while I tried to figure out what I could do or say. "My grandparents never said it out loud... their faces said it all... they blamed me for Myley's disappearance... I stayed in my bedroom clutching my pillow for weeks. I didn't speak or even eat anything. My grandparents didn't seem to care... I wanted to d..."

That was it, I heard enough. I grabbed Ryley by the shoulders and pulled her into me tightly. Her head landed on my chest. She immediately stopped talking as I started humming the tune she hummed to me earlier that day. Back In Baby's Arms.

Her stoic facade finally shattered. Her body went limp and she wailed loudly without reservation. Ryley was practically convulsing but I held on tight... still softly humming the beautiful tune.

I never had a sister, but I knew that letting her cry it out would be the best thing for her. After a while, her crying calmed to just sniffles. But I still held on to her like she was the only thing keeping me afloat on a rough sea.

My young mind was having trouble processing that was happening. I was running on adrenaline, just doing what I felt was right.

As the evening progressed the warm light breeze turned decidedly colder. I wrapped us up in the blanket the best I could, still humming. I lovingly combed my fingers through her wavy brown hair and kissed the top of her head.

Ryley shifted her body and suddenly I was being held just as tightly as I held her. "Thank you," she whispered.

"You're welcome," I whispered back.

As I laid with Ryley under the twinkling stars for well over an hour, I began to think, maybe Ryley 'dates' a lot because she's looking for the love she never got as a child. I can definitely say that I love her, but I'm so mixed up about how I love her.

Feelings I usually struggled to understand became somewhat clearer. But still... Was I feeling friendship love? Sisterly love? Which I knew nothing about. Romantic love? Which I knew very little about. Can it be all three? Why can't it be all three? I asked myself. All I know is that my heart has never felt so broken, but yet so... complete.

At some point, I kissed Ryley on the top of her head as I had done before... except... I didn't want to stop. So I didn't. Every minute or so I'd kiss her again.

Our arms overlapped in some places and I could feel goosebumps rising on her skin. Ryley wiggled a little but ended up right where she started. "Please don't stop," she whispered.

"I won't," I whispered back.

That lasted probably another hour before the inevitable happened. Ryley lifted her head and her magnetic eyes locked onto mine. The shyness I wore like a coat-of-armor was gently, almost angelically, lifted from me. I eagerly but tenderly began kissing Ryley on the lips. It felt as natural as anything I've ever done. My heart pounded happily like never before.

She whispered again, "please don't stop."

"I won't," I whispered back.

Our bodies slid down a bit until we were both lying flat... the gentle kissing continued. I felt overjoyed, not overwhelmed like I expected.

As I held Ryley, her body fit perfectly into mine. Something that I was actually worried about. Strange, I know.

Ryley's eyes flew open like she just realized something and stopped kissing me. She looked up at me and in a quiet but frantic voice, and asked, "are you Ok with this?"

"I think so," I said, with a modicum of confidence.

"I mean, you can stop if you want to... I don't want you to be upset at me," Ryley said, concerned.

"Thanks, but I think I'm ok... But what about you? A little while ago you were an emotional wreck."

"Well... I had a dream last night... about Myley. She... she spoke to me. She told me that she was okay. And that she was with our mom and dad now. Then she told me, as if she was the big sister, to stop crying over her and that it was time for me to move on with my life. Myley blew me a kiss then turned and walked away. But there was a picture of Hello Kitty on the back of her shirt. It was the last thing I saw as she faded away."

I was quiet for several moments. Still gazing into her beautiful hazel eyes. Still combing my fingers through her hair.

"Ya know Luce, you're the first person I've ever told about my family."

I stayed quiet and let that sink in for both of us.

Finally, I asked in a whispery voice. "So you think the Hello Kitty thing is a sign or something?"

"Yeah... maybe... I don't know. I just know that I was totally smitten with you the moment we met. Then earlier today when I saw your panties, I felt a strange tingle shoot up my spine. I figured it wasn't a coincidence. It had to mean something."

Before I could continue a north wind blew through us. A chill like nothing else I've experienced before caused me to shiver.

Before I could say anything... "Come on, it's late," Ryley announced, then looked at her watch. "Holy crap, it's almost 3am!"

The moon was lower in the sky so things were a little darker. Not to worry though, Ryley pulled a flashlight from her backpack. She scooped up the blanket and tenderly placed it over my shoulders. "Here, you're gonna need this."

She guided us, hand in hand back down the path to her Jeep. Then she wrapped me in the blanket as I sat down. "With no top and no doors, it's gonna be a cold ride home." I loved how concerned she was for me.

"What about you?" I asked. Her magnetic eyes caught mine again as she buckled me in. I could tell she wanted to kiss me, but we would get back to that soon enough.

"I'll be fine," was all she said.

I wasn't worried that she'd had a few drinks. From what I observed, that likely wasn't the first time she drank straight from a bottle. Plus that was a few hours ago.

I saw Ryley in a new light from that night on. Hardened by life, and masking her pain with jokes, liquor and women. Young women, that I'm assuming reminded her of her sister. But no judgment from me. We all have our own ways of dealing with the shit life throws at us.

If it's possible, I felt even closer to Ryley. She let me into her private world. I got this overwhelming urge to try and ease some of her pain.

As the ride home continued, Ryley's happy-go-lucky mask returned. But it seemed more genuine than before. I started to think her dream-time sister's advice may have affected her. Maybe she's serious about moving on with her life.

As we walked up the sidewalk, hand in hand toward the front door, a confident and emotional strength welled up from somewhere inside me. My smile turned naughty and Ryley noticed. At first her facial expression was one of confusion, but then her eyebrows flew up.

I quickly unlocked the door and swung her inside. And just like she did with Abby the night before, I pressed Ryley against the door and drowned her in passionate kisses.

Then it hit me, I know I initiated this, but am I going to just be another one-night-stand to Ryley? I couldn't believe that. The bond we shared, the story about Myley she shared. I knew none of those other girls knew anything about that. I was absolutely sure of our emotional connection and continued on.

Oh how I was hungry for her lips. I felt tingly all over. She stopped for a second to check in with me. "Are you sure you're okay with this, Luce?"

"Oh ya!" I said with a mischievous and naughty smile. I held her arms up and over her head with one hand. Ryley could have easily overpowered me, but she played along. This thrilled me to no end.

Because it was Ryley, because it was someone I trusted. Years of being shy and introverted melted away. For the first time in my life I felt a strong desire to make love to someone. But again, it couldn't be just anyone, it had to be Ryley.

With the shackles of shyness and timidness no longer hindering me, I kissed, and licked, and nibbled... Her face, and neck, and ears... Ryley's moans of pure pleasure echoed in the foyer and spurred me on.

My tongue found hers and within seconds, I couldn't get enough. We kissed passionately for what seemed like an eternity. Yet it still didn't feel long enough. Every one of the thousand tingles running up and down my spine had her name on them.

With the death of my self doubt, a new sense of boldness was born. It began coursing through my body. I felt like I had some kind of super power.

As we continued our passionate kissing, I brought my hand down to start undressing her. She kept her arms up by herself against the door as if they were tied there. Ryley was making a little game out of this. I loved it.

I concentrated on just nibbling her ear while trying to unbutton Ryley's blue jeans. She checked in with me one last time, mixing moans with words. "Are... oh God... Are you sure this... oh fuck Luce... is... is this what you really, really want?"

My fresh new confidence spoke up, "oh God yes, Ryley, can't you tell how much I want this... more than anything in my life."

As our soft lips reunited, I realized that my new found confidence is only going to get me so far. Other than touching myself, I have no real experience making love to another woman.

Between kisses, I whispered to her what I was feeling. "But... um... kiss kiss... I really don't know... kiss kiss... what I'm doing. Um... kiss kiss... I mean how to..."

"Just follow your instincts... oh fuck Luce... you're doing just fine sweetheart," she whispered back.

I finally got her jeans unbuttoned and I pushed them slightly past her shapely hips. With her arms still above her head she whispered, "rip my shirt open."

I found the middle of her teal button-down blouse and hastily pulled it apart. She moaned as I sent the buttons flying and set her breasts free.

My lips found hers once more as my hands explored the subtle curves of her body. My breath quickened as soon as I felt the smooth curves of her firm breasts. My mind wandered as my finger traced their shape.

My mouth recaptured her soft earlobe as my fingertips began to pinch and roll her beautifully long nipples.

"Harder!" she moaned.

I wasn't sure if she meant the earlobe I was nibbling on or her nipples I was pinching... I figured that I can't go wrong by doing both.

I bit hard and sucked on her lobe, while at the same time pinching her nipples as hard as I could.

Ryley inhaled deeply then moaned out. "Oh you lovely bitch... oh fuck... I love it!" I took her calling me bitch as part of the game. But also, and maybe more importantly, she's letting me into her inner circle.

Remembering what I saw during Ryley's previous encounter at the door with Abby. I began kissing down her neck to the deep valley between her breasts. At the same time, I slowly pushed her jeans down to the floor.

"Bite my nipples!" she commanded, but in a soft voice. My hands gently caressed her breasts and I started lightly nibbling on her nipples.

"No... bite it!" she commanded again. Just to tease her, I didn't, I just licked around it. Ryley figured out what I was doing. "Bite my nipple you impish bitch!"

I giggled to myself, yep, I'm definitely part of her inner circle now.

When I finally obliged her. A loud moan escaped... "Oh, fuuuuck... yesss, that feels wonderful."

There was something about the way she commanded me, something about the way she called me bitch that elevated my excitement beyond my wildest dreams.

I tried something I saw on a lesbian porn video. I bit the base of her nipple while flicking my tongue over the tip of it.

"Oh you beautiful naughty whore! Fuck, that feels so good... don't you dare stop!" I couldn't have stopped even if I wanted to. Giving Ryley that much pleasure gave ME so much pleasure. I revealed in hearing her moan as I continued.

While my left hand was pinching the nipple I wasn't making a meal out of, my right hand slithered down her flat belly. I reached the waistband of her... panties? I was expecting the loose fitting boxers she usually wears. I'll have to ask her about that later.

My fingers ventured further until I found her swollen clit, I almost recoiled because it wasn't mine... Although it felt exactly like mine. I regained my confidence and lightly circled her clit. Just like I'd normally do with my own.

Suddenly, Ryley moaned loudly, followed by a breathy whisper, "oh you wonderful little bitch... oh fuck... you lied to me, you've been... oh, oh.... You've been with a woman before."

I moved my oral attention to her other breast, hummed negatively to her question and shook my head sideways with her nipple firmly in my mouth.

"Oh fuck... OK... we'll talk about it later.... Right now I need to feel you inside me. Fuck me with your finger."

She let out another loud moan as I slowly gilded my middle finger inside her pussy. It was hot just like mine. It was soft just like mine. It was wet just like mine. What was I so nervous about, I asked myself?

One last threshold to cross, I thought. Just like I watched Ryley do the night before, I kissed my way down my lover's body until I reached her trimmed pubic mound. I lightly kissed and licked her there. Her aroma made my nostrils flare and aroused a deeply hidden desire in me. I wanted, no, needed to taste her.

Again, following her example, I knelt on the carpet and lifted her leg over my shoulder. Without a moment's hesitation I started to lick the juices dripping from her glistening pussy. Her sweet salty essence shattered any confusion I still harbored. This is what I was meant to do, I told myself.

Her hands finally came down and rested on my head. Ryley added a little pressure, then moaned out' "oh you beautiful fucking whore... don't you dare stop... I think I'm gonna cum already."

Figuring she liked things a little rough. I lightly bit and flicked my tongue over her clit just like I did with her nipple. "Oh fuck yes!" she screamed. Her breathing became rapid, but was able to announce one last string of expletives before she came. "Oh fuck!... Luce!... You pussy loving slut... I'm gonna cum!"

Ryley's hands pulled my face deeper into her pussy, and I kept lightly biting and tickling her clit with my tongue. Her juices started to flow from her pussy. I moved my mouth to catch some of it. Just like I've seen the porn stars do.

Her body was shaking uncontrollably as I glanced up. Her head was thrown back in ecstasy. She babbled out incoherent nonsense. But I was able to make out one word... 'Myley'... I'm not sure if I should say anything about that, I thought to myself.

I felt Ryley shift some of her weight to the door, and also onto my shoulder. My petite body shook with hers as she continued battling an all consuming orgasm that obviously made her weak in the knees.

Ryley's leg finally slipped off my shoulder and she slowly crumbled to the floor. I fell sideways with her and landed halfway on her heaving chest. Her tight body was glistening with beads of sweat.

Before I could move, Ryley wrapped her arms around me. She was only able to get out two words between breaths..."Kiss me."

I was happy to oblige. Our lips met for only a moment as she went straight to sucking my tongue. A new sensation that we would both repeat many times over the next few years. Ryley was still breathing heavily through her nose trying to get as much of my tongue in her mouth as possible. I'm sure at one point it must have looked like I was devouring her face.

Ryley released me, then collapsed onto her back. "Sorry... I had to... do that... I love... tasting myself."

I propped myself up on my elbow, gazing in awe at the beautiful woman lying next to me on the floor... just a few feet from the front door. Not exactly how I imagined my first time would be.

"That's fine... I'd like to do the same thing when my turn comes around," I said with a naughty smile.

My hand roamed over every soft curve, every gentle swell, every pleasing muscle of her lovely body. For years I couldn't imagine being comfortable enough to have sex with anyone. Now I can't stop touching her.

Ryley regained her strength, stood up, then helped me up. As her hands caressed my neck we kissed for what seemed like an eternity.

Our eyes locked as she whispered, "you're wearing far too many clothes my love." She suddenly ripped my blouse open. I gasped with excitement, and inhaled deeply as my chest heaved. Ryley made me feel alive like never before.

Next, she wasted no time unceremoniously stripping me of the rest of my clothes. I shuttered with excitement as she hastily, almost roughly discarded what I was wearing. Goosebumps ran wild over my skin as I thought, maybe I like it a little rough too.

She pulled me in tightly as our nude bodies merged into one. Feeling all of her naked body against mine was a feeling I'll never forget. Our lips found their companions once more as we kissed fervently.

All of a sudden, in one sweeping motion, Ryley picked me up and held me like a baby. The strong naked woman carried me toward her bedroom as she spoke in her soft but authoritative voice. "Getting back to what you said about your turn, I want to, no, I need to lick your virgin pussy my sweet."

I wrapped my arms around her neck and gazed into her sultry eyes."I can hardly wait... my lovely bitch."

"Bitch you say?" Ryley said, her face tickled with a grin. "Where's my sweet, shy little Lucy?"

I placed a soft kiss on her cheek as my heart felt a deep warmth. With my eyes filled with love, I whispered to Ryley, "she's back in her baby's arms."

Ryley smiled tenderly with love in her eyes. She kept my gaze as she softly laid me on my bed.

Ryley brought the woman in me to new heights of pleasure I never knew existed that night. I no longer felt like a child. I finally found what I was looking for.

Ryley credits me for adding stability to her life. She went on to get her Masters in psychology while living with me. Those additional years were wonderful, and convinced her that we were meant to be together.

The End...

Thank you for reading my story. Stars and hearts are very nice, but public and private positive feedback are what we authors live for.

Rose Monroe.????