Darkness: Through the Shadow

Darkness: Through the Shadow.

I was not expecting to write a sequel to Darkness so soon but then I heard the haunting Lyrics of the song by Kris Kristofferson 1970. 'Help me make it through the night.'

The sequel wrote itself. The song provided structure and many lines that became commentary on the song and Russell and Fiona's lives. I cried many times in the writing so if you cry often have tissues handy.

Because of copy-write reasons, I can't reproduce the lyrics here. But it is available to hear in all good media locations so I suggest it provide some background music for you listening.

Enjoy the sequel to Darkness.

......................

Darkness: Through the Shadow.

"Help me make it through the night Fiona."

My silent plea reached out to my Sister. We had the house to ourselves. We had the room to ourselves, but once again, I was a nine. Comatose I lay in the night, that was only ten o'clock in the morning.

Today would be forgotten with so many of my days. Memories are hard when you can't remember. Feelings are overwhelming. All I do is bury myself in this imposed, brain-imposed darkness.

I knew that yesterday my Sister and I wrapped our virginities together as we lost them. But that was yesterday. I just longed to recreate that yesterday today. But like so many other days, I feared the preciousness of what happened would get lost. Today may not happen.

So I lay wondering when, not if, but when Fi would slip into my bed. I did not know she had poked her head in the doorway three times already. For I was asleep.

Finally, she appeared in my fog of time.

"You are awake. A nine?" She could read the signs.

I groan and nod.

"I want to lay with you."

I knew help had arrived to drive down the darkness.

"It's not fair. I can't really see you. I want to see your winsome body." I whisper.

Fi was young, just over eighteen. She was a slip of a girl. Her long blond hair made her look much younger. Sometimes, when I was well and younger, I would brush it for her. We would count to a hundred. It was hard to tell her age. Before COVID stole my light from me she was sixteen. Now she was eighteen.

Fiona paused, "I'll be back."

Darkness and quiet filled the space, creeping its tentacles around my bed.

Quietly the door opened. "Sorry that took a while, I had to find a different light bulb. I have an idea."

She came and kissed my lips. No longer innocent, but delicately longing. I did not get as hard as I would have on any normal occasion.

"I think I can show you my body." She turned me over toward the blank bedroom wall on the other side of the bed.

"Close your eyes," she giggled. "Maybe put your sunglasses on as well."

She handed them to me.

I heard a rustling around, a chair moving, then a click.

I know a light went on. But it was a dull light.

"It will work," she came up to me and whispered. "Is it all right if I take the covers off for a bit? I want to see your handsome body as I do this."

I nod. I was already naked under here and she has already had my hardness inside her. I was delighted she wanted to see. I heard my sister remove her clothes. Then she knelt beside me.

"Now slowly open your eyes, slits will do, just enough."

I saw her shadow on the wall. Her pert pointy breasts pointing in a silhouette of shadow. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail. I could see the bow when she turned her head a certain way. Slowly my sister formed her body to give play to this puppet show of darkness.

Slowly, ever so slowly, she pulled the ribbon from her hair and draped it over my nakedness. I felt its satin trace my skin, seductive and slow. I groaned in its erotic presence as I watched my sister play with me. I knew she could see me clearly. I focussed on the shadows.

Fiona shook out her hair and it unfurled as a flag on a pole. She let it fall upon my nakedness. A thousand ribbons of silk fine hair caressed me. If a picture painted that thousand hairs, it would not bring as much pleasure as those hairs which brought delight to the light-play cast upon the wall.

She danced on my nakedness. Her hair travelled in its dance slowly, joyously up and down my nakedness.

A man is not made of stone. Neither could my nine prevent my body from bursting through the darkness. My sister found a way. My penis rose in the shadows as her hair swished across its form. I was hardening fast. My love, accompanied by those thousand hairs, rose to meet her lips, now held above my erection, in an anticipated shaded kiss.

I felt those lips part over my penis head and lick around the tip that poked its head out of my foreskin.

"Don't stop, I love you, my head hurts but my heart wants more."

My sister's hands joined her hair to play with my laid-bare body.

"I love you, Russell. So much. Do you think you can cum?"

"Probably not. My head is pounding."

"Then I will turn off the light and we can spoon."

She slipped off the bed and the click heralded the end of the light. I expected her at my back. But she moved to my front.

"You can be the big spoon tonight. Hold me."

She slipped into place and my penis, still hard, pressed her soft bottom. She slipped a hand between her legs and brought me to lie in the wetness of her sex.

My hands found her breasts and it was me who cried into her flowing sweet-smelling, silky soft hair. Her hand pressed my harness to her clit and she quietly came. I slept content. I had given my sister pleasure. She slept enfolded in my living embrace.

This time the sleep did not bring relief. My nine persisted. My sister decamped from my bed and busied herself elsewhere. But not before we shared a long and loving kiss. My hands paid homage to her nakedness even though my mind was missing.

"Do you want some food? It's one pm." Fiona's head once more entered my room to ask.

"Coffee please."

"You need to eat."

"What do we have?"

"Not much. I tell you what. Would you like some hot chips?"

"Yes please."

"I'll go to the local chip shop. I'll also have fish. Do you want some as well?"

"You choose, I can't think. Something easy."

Quiet descended. The shop was only a block away. I heard the door close. My sister walked. Eagerly I listened for her return. Little sounds played loud in silence. Loud sounds were a gong to drive me mad with pain. I realised my prayer was being answered. Fiona was helping me make it through the night. Her playfulness caste out the darkness of depression that was mocking at my door only last week. Now I felt I could make it.

Sometime in the waiting, I had a dreaded thought. What if? What if she doesn't? What if she can't? Return that is. I gave myself nightmares as I waited in the dark. Time stretches when the mind worries. Time moved by the fidgeting of thoughts playing havoc with reality.

The front door opens and relief washes over me. The smell of hot chips precedes my sister's entry.

"If you are naked, I want to be naked." My sister strips. "It is cold outside. I put the central heating up before I left, so we could be nude in comfort."

I prop myself against the bedhead. She sits between my legs, our groins almost touching. She feeds me chips out of butcher's paper, the traditional way. The big ones are hot and we blow.

Fi, my Fi, my little Fifi licks the salt from her fingers to hold my limpness lying on her leg.

"That's nice. My headache is less. The aspirin has kicked in."

"Are you sure it is not my sister medicine?" she asks.

"You are inspiring. Probably."

She feeds me battered fingers of fish. I feed on her love. In time the paper is empty. She scrunches it up and throws it to the door.

We share our salt-lined lips with a kiss. Our tongues lick around satisfied mouths. The hunger of that orifice satisfied. Another gets hungry in its lust.

My nine became a seven, along with my inches between my legs. Fiona's hands now bring me to full hardness and she moves closer until I slip into her wetness.

Suddenly what we did yesterday repeats itself today. We move by the rocking of our hips. Love consummated once more. I feel her moistness lubricate my balls. The smell of chips is overcome by the aromas of love.

My mouth devours her mouth in passion as my hands seek out my sister's breasts. Those breasts that were but shadows playing on the wall earlier today.

"You stay still darling Brother, let me move for us."

The bed moved and my universe shook. Still seated, her legs locked around my waist as she drove my hardness into her willing body. Our groins meshed in an intimate beat as my Sister took up the rhythm of passion.

I thrust as I could, seeking to drive myself deeper for my pleasure and hers.

"Yes Russ, I want to cum, please fill me. Fuck, I love you."

She clung upon my neck as her body shook. Her nipples, hard, trembled on my chest. Then I came. My urgent thrust spewed my passion deep into her gasping body. Our lips locked so we could taste the cries of our climax. Guttural cries echoed in the chambers of our mouths.

Stilled once more, I held her glistening frailty to my chest and we sucked in air as we came down from lust. My penis limp once more slipped from her tightness and our fluids flooded onto my sheets.

I giggled, "That is where I will lay my head tonight. I want to breathe our love. To remember that we made love on that very spot."

Fiona kissed me. "We should shower before they get home. I will open the window while we do. This room smells of sex."

"Can we shower together?"

"Yes, you go ahead while I let in the light and air. I will join you soon."

I leave the bathroom light off and we are lit only by a small high window. I watch my sister enter naked, lithe and vulnerable.

"Do you like my body, Russ? My breasts are small."

I reach to hold them as she enters the falling water with me.

"I love your body little Sister."

I move to rub myself on her.

"You make me hard. You are sexy. Yes, you are small, but these breasts fill my hands and your nipples are made to suckle." Which I do just then.

I gather soap and lovingly explore her body in every nook and cranny. She soaps me back and we play in suds between our skin. Slippery bodies dancing in water. Darkness is no more, just life-affirming love.

I want to lift her like a man and thrust into her suspended in the air, but my body has had enough. I feel fatigue sap my strength.

"I need to sit down."

"Let's dress and watch some tele together."

My sister dries me, then herself and leads me naked to the lounge.

"I want to do this, be naked together in the house."

I'm still hard. She gently pushes me to the seat.

"I'll go get our clothes."

I sit there hard, waiting. I think we have time before the family arrives. One part of me wants to be seen making love to my sister. I'm sick of things shrouded in shadows. I want a bright light to cast our silhouette upon the world. To declare: I love my sister! My penis throbs: Wanting my sister as this public nudity exposes my desires.

Fiona returns and seeing me, she kneels and takes me in her mouth. No words just love. Her hands join her mouth in this moment of fellatio. She tries to go deep but gags too much. I hold her by her damp hair and pull her upward off my length.

"Just work the top. I am close."

I caress her face and feel my penis push her cheek into my palm. And then I cum. Not gallons, but she seals her lips and swallows what I offer. Excited, she straddles me again and shares my cum in a kiss. I do not mind because it is my Sister's mouth that had swallowed the lion's share.

"Let's get you dressed. We don't want to get caught," she giggled. "Imagine Andy barging in."

She pulls up my PJ bottoms that I wear around the house and lovingly tucks my penis in. I stand to put on my dressing gown, then slump again onto the couch.

I watch as Fiona dresses. I cannot believe how lucky I am to share her love. She is in normal clothes, as if to say, we were never naked.

The tele is on and we watch as I brush the tangles of our lovemaking from her locks. My hair is short, so it dries enough that Mum may not wonder why both our heads are wet.

True to form my brother busts in unannounced. School is out.

"Not again, do I ever get to watch what I want?"

"What do you want?" I throw him the remote.

"Mandalorian."

"Sounds good to me," we both say together.

We watch and enjoy the drama, but I ask for the sound to be lower. My brother understood and complied.

Mum comes in and smiles at our closeness as siblings.

"What number love?"

"I'm a six but only because my sister cared. I was a nine earlier."

"Well, whatever you did keep doing it. It is good to see your brother up and about."

The double entendre plays in our heads, we both want to burst out laughing.

"I bought some crisps and drinks today and coloured popcorn."

She knows I love coloured popcorn. Mum brought them to us, then went to work on tea.

Memories of Shadows played in my mind as I retied the ribbon in her hair.

The next few days, there was always someone else in the house. But I was a much better five or six. Our days had so much joy. Fiona and I did normal stuff. I so wanted to make love in the light. But instead, we talked in snatches, played games, and snuggled watching movies.

One thing we did was play some of Mum and Dad's old records. But Mum assured us they were her parents. Mainly folk music from the sixties. It was nice. I could listen to them without increasing my headaches.

That's another thing about long COVID, some music was too busy for me to hear. Certain types of classical, or heavy rock, modern electronic, anything sharp and jangly. Anything that vibrated deep. My brain was over-activated. Folk music was gentle so I coped.

I felt like I had autism. That hypersensitivity to environmental inputs. I couldn't sing, shout or cheer. A bass sound was worse. If I hummed the vibrations went straight to my sensitive brain. The doctor says the brain is attacking itself. It thinks I still have the virus. So it is inflamed by an overactive immune system.

Mainly we talked about incest and how we might cope with it. Like how we might keep it all hush-hush. Fi would slip into my room at night when everyone was asleep. She lay down by my side until the early morning light. We set an alarm to make sure we were awake well before our family.

Our nights were filled with passion. Mainly my sister riding my hardness to completion. My energy was still drained by love, but it was worth it. Her love helped me make it through the days. I could sleep through the day. Somehow, my sister survived on less sleep.

But good days ended and once again I was in darkness. I went back up to eights and nines. It was Saturday. Dad had taken Andy to footy. Mum was catching up with housework. I was bad.

Mum and my little Sister came in at the same time.

They talked softly for a while. Then Mum made a surprising comment.

"Slip into bed with Russ, Fi, it seems to help."

There is pause as we both hold our breath.

"When you do he always goes up a point of two. You can just cuddle and sleep. Help him through this darkness."

Fiona almost made as if to protest. But she slipped in behind me fully clothed and cuddled into me.

"You are so cute together. When you were little Fi, Russell would cuddle you to sleep."

"Thanks, Mum," I groaned in my pain. "It helps, it really does."

"Anything for you big brother. I could use some extra sleep. I'm not sleeping so well at night these days."

Mum left us to it. My sister's hand snaked around my torso to cup my limp penis and soft balls.

"Lucky I drained them last night," my sister giggled into my hair. I was soon asleep and my sister with me.

Sometime we had turned over and I was spooning her. My hand automatically cupped her breast. That was how Mum found us when she came in to announce tea.

I fained sleep. Fiona froze like a rabbit in the headlights.

"I did want to wake him," she confessed to Mum.

"That's all right sweetie. It's sort of nice to be held like that. It's alright, he is asleep. If that's what is fixing his nines then I'm okay with it. You both look very cute."

"Mum, not helping."

"Come, it's dinner time. You can bring Russell's back later. You are so good for him and so good to him. I'm proud of you Fi."

I sort of heard the conversation but didn't dare move unless Mum realised I was awake. I had been tweaking my sister's nipple through her shirt. My penis was hard pressed into her buttocks. I was again a seven.

I giggled when my sister left, that's my size. I was about seven inches down there. Fiona adored all seven of them. But I had to be a seven to be a seven. Once again, thank god, Fiona had nursed me through the darkness, through my nightmares.

That night when the family was asleep my sister came in and stripped.

"Put on the light," I asked. "I think I'm a six."

"I want to try something different tonight big brother. It's called reverse cowgirl."

As was her habit she licked and sucked me hard. Then impaled herself on me. We sort of knew not to take too long in foreplay as my fatigue tolerance was very limited. Once I was embedded deep she swivelled around, so she faced me backwards. I raised my knees and she clung to them as she worked her body on my hard cock. The view was incredible, at least from my side. My sister was getting my cock at a very different angle and her groaning was getting louder.

"Shhh, remember Andy sleeps next door."

"Oops," she giggled. But continued to drive herself onto my cock. We both called out each other's names into the night as we came together.

"Fuck that was good, but shhh." I sighed

"Too late for that. At least Andy is a deep sleeper."

"I want to try something now."

I pulled her hips back toward my face.

"Let me clean you out with my tongue."

She left a trail of sperm right down from my navel to my chin. I spent a delightful five minutes sucking our combined juices. My sister then cleaned up my torso with her tongue.

Fiona held me naked on the bed and we slept until our alarm heralded the morning light.

Morning came with no regrets, our night love heralded a six, so I camped in a darkened lounge room while Fiona spun the records.

"Do you care that we are committing incest?" I ask my sister.

"Yes I do, I take a lot of care committing that incest. I care for you. I don't give a fuck about the rules. What matters is today and you are much better because we love each other."

"But what about tomorrow?"

"Does tomorrow ever come?"

"Point."

"Then let the devil have tomorrow. He is too good at spoiling the now. So to hell with the rules."

"Can we stay like this forever, without the long COVID I mean, but loving each other?"

"Forever Russ."

"I want forever, I will love you forever. I will love you past death, our death."

Fiona sits in my lap and we kiss.

"Forever includes tomorrow. Let's snatch it back from the Devil. Say, love goes here, Fuck off."

We listen to Bridge Over Troubled Waters. We live that song in the night.

The next Album is by Kris Kristofferson. I lie down on the couch, my sister lies next to me.

Our mum comes in, the record has reached the end of the side and does that over and over scratching sound.

"Let me turn it over Pets. You look so comfortable. You know this is one of my favourite albums of all time. I've been listening to it in the kitchen."

"That's awesome Mum," Fiona says.

"When did my kids get such good taste?"

"When the only records we can play come from your collect."

"True," she laughs. "Play on."

She disappeared into the kitchen, and then we heard it. The song, so hauntingly beautiful. It was us. It took our souls and played it into lyrics.

When it finished my sister bolted upright, found the track and played it again.

'Help me make it through the night' it was us. I played with the ribbon in my sister's hair. Was.. No, it was spooky.

Fiona grabbed the album cover and looked up the lyrics.

"Russ, it was written in 1970. But this is us."

We are listening to the end of the song.

"No, I do not want it to end up that way, alone."

We play it again.

Mum comes in. "You two used to love this song, you must have been very young, but it always put you to sleep."

"Maybe that's why my Sister helps me make it through this current darkness."

"Maybe." She wanders off again.

"Maybe we should move on to the next album," Fiona suggests.

We try Tubular Bells but it is too jangly. But the song that became us runs around in my ears.

"I think I should sleep."

My sister pulled me up. We walk through the kitchen.

"I'm going to put Russell to bed. He needs to sleep."

"Maybe once he is asleep come and help me make some cookies, he loves your chocolate chip ones."

I smile, "Thanks, yes please."

In the room, I stripped but Fiona stayed dressed.

"Mum is dropping in too much today. Let me spoon you."

Under the covers, she takes my nakedness and my penis and slowly masturbates me. She slipped her panties off and wraps them around my hardness. They are wet and the slipperiness of my precum helps me to ejaculate into the satin.

Now spent I start to slumber. My sister whispers in my ear.

"I'll put this under my pillow until I join with you later."

"You had better put on a clean pair before you make cookies," I suggest.

"Good point. Sleep well big Brother," and she kisses me, then leaves.

I sleep well. When I wake to use the toilet I smell fresh cookies in the hall. I wander down in dark glasses and hat.

Young Andy is at the table scoffing my biscuits and drinking milk.

"Hang on they were for me."

"It's alright," Fiona hugged me, "I have a second batch in the oven."

"A bun in the oven, hey!" Andy jokes.

He cops a damp tea towel in the face. His sister then spins it into a rat's tail.

"No, they hurt," he claims.

He backs away,

"Then don't be rude!" His big sister grabs the tray of cookies, no more for you until you apologise.

Andy looks at me as if I might come to his aid.

"That's your fight buddy. I sit down to the cookies and his milk."

He looks at us both, sort of weird, eyes darting between us. But then shrugs and walks into the lounge. The TV breaks the silence.

Fiona comes up behind me and gives me a hug.

"If I did, I would know whose bun it was in the oven."

"Cookie" I correct her, but put my hand above her womb. "One day," I whisper, "one day."

That night my sister joins with me. We practice making buns. But the birth control has our passion in its grip.

I remember the song.

"Tonight I need a friend, tomorrow you can have the baby. Maybe sleep will bring a possible tomorrow." I whisper to Fiona.

It's a promise she holds dear as she sleeps with me.

I am a six when I wake. We have the house to ourselves once again. But my sister is not home. She had an early appointment to do her driving test. I showered, wanting to be fresh to help her celebrate. I giggled to myself as I left my erection alone in the shower.

Today I think I have the energy to do missionary at last. My sister has always been on top. It protects my fatigue. I wait in anticipation.

I keep things dark but have a small light in my room. I want to see my sister as I penetrate her body.

I know the answer before I see her. It is in her skip and step as she enters like her brother would, bursting with excitement.

"I can Drive! I passed big Brother." She throws herself at me and we kiss in joy. Joy flows from her to me and I am hard again.

"Ooh yes, let's celebrate with your hardness."

I stand and we hurriedly tear her clothes off. I am naked already. I push her onto the bed.

"I'm on top today. I want to drive myself into you and deposit my love in celebration. At last, you can drive me places. So let me drive just now."

I leaned down and brought my mouth to her vulva. My tongue takes some time exploring her folds and lapping her juices.

"Fuck."

I realise the head-down position is bringing too much blood to my big head, and I feel it ache. I look up at her concerned.

"That hurts too much, let me give you my penis instead."

"I enjoyed your lips on mine, but I really wanted you to take me, so fuck me, Big Brother."

She guides my erection to her folds and slithers my head between her lips. I take control and in one push drive myself home. Her vagina is my nesting place. This time I am in control and I feel good. It is new, but I feel like a man in the moment. A man whose primal purpose is to take his women.

I start to pump my hardness and my sister screams her pleasure.

"Yes god, that's it, wow, yes take me. Fuck me. Harder big brother."

Words of affirmation flow from my sister in what could be viewed as dirty talk, but it was born of our mutual love.

I grit my teeth, I want to last. But I am also aware that this is going to cost me. My lovemaking brings Joy and light to our souls but now I am overdoing it. I can feel my brain want to let the darkness back in. My head thumps with my heart and blood. Building, building. I don't dare stop. To stop is to let the darkness in.

My fight is desperate. My sister holds my head.

"Russ I know, this is hurting but thanks. I love that you love me enough to take this risk."

That tips my pleasure and I cum hard. Because I am thrusting I cum harder than I've ever done before. My sperm fills her womb. My penis is pushed into her internal tightness. My sister shakes beneath me and she shouts out my name as we complete our orgasms together.

I slump and hold my head. It is aching from the effort. I know I am on my way back to a nine.

Fiona reaches over and turns off the light. We kiss, although I am just a shadow of the former self I had just demonstrated.

We sleep a bit. But it's clear I'm now a nine and a half.

"I will never forget this sacrifice," my sister whispers to me.

Later she says, "I'm going to go for a drive. I promise only for half an hour."

She pulled her panties over her body.

"I know you can't go with me, but I'm going to take all your millions of little Russ's for a ride. So in essence you are going with me."

I sit half up and put my lips to her abdomen. Her panties are already getting wet.

"Enjoy the ride, little guys," I whisper to my sperm. "One day perhaps your brother will take the ultimate journey to birth."

My sister squealed in delight. She kisses me passionately.

"I'm so happy, my driving licence and a promise to bear your child all in one day. Not to mention your amazing lovemaking. Fuck I'm blessed."

She skips out and leaves me in darkness, but that's Ok I know she will be back.

I slept for hours, at least I think it was hours. I listened in the dark for my sister. Normally I hear her footsteps. Sounds of living through the empty hall. But it was quiet. She must have her head in study I tell myself. So I go back to my comatose fetal position and wait it out as I do almost every other day. Then there is activity, it is Mum and Andy back from school. Mum is a teacher at my brother's school. So he often waits till she is done. I do not know that it is getting dark.

"Do you know where Fiona is Russ?"

My world dissolves in horror.

"Her car is not there."

My mum sees my concern.

She paused.

"I know I dropped her off."

"But she went for a drive," I say

"That's okay, she should be back soon then."

"No!" I almost scream. "She went for a drive before lunch. She promised only half an hour. I have not heard her since, but I have slept most of the day."

I grab my phone and text. My mother now understands my concern.

Mum rings her best friend. "Perhaps she visited Jill."

I hear the conversation.

"No, she spoke to me earlier to tell me the news. I've been trying to reach her all day. She hasn't replied to my texts." Mum drops the phone.

Recovering she picks it up.

"We think something has happened, keep trying I'll get back to you.

I hear tears on the other end, they mingle with the tears in this room.

My darkness suddenly becomes fear so great my nine slips into ten. Darkness wins for the moment at least.

I am aware I have not eaten all day. I hear voices, people coming and going, cars coming and going.

Andy comes in to hold me.

"I know you want to help. We are searching. We think she came off the road somewhere. The police and hospitals know nothing."

"Thanks, Bro, that's the first news I've heard, if not good," I whisper through my pain.

"What did she say?"

"She said she would not be long, maybe half an hour."

Andy pauses, "fuck I think I know where she is."

He races out and I am alone again. It's so hard to be alone.

It is getting colder. Help her make it through the night I whisper over and over.

I hear Dad and Andy in the hallway,

"Right buddy, let's go. Show me the way."

I hear a car take off. The world holds its breath. My prayer to my sister, uttered so many times in darkness, becomes my prayer for her. The house is quiet. Everyone is searching. Time moves backward as I wait. I remember she has my sperm on board. Shout out little buddies, shout we are here. God may she be alive.

My next memory is Andy rushing into the room. He flung himself on me balling his eyes out.

"I found her Russ," He balled. My heart sank to depths beyond life.

"She's alive. I saved her for you big brother."

"Slow down, she is alive?" My questioning breath was interrupted as my Dad entered.

"Yes, she is alive, she will be okay. Thanks to Andy here." Andy was still sobbing.

"He realised she went to that lookout you used to take them to when you could drive. Andy spotted the tyre marks go off the road and down the embankment."

"She was alive and asking for you Russ." Andy sobbed.

"Where is she now?"

"At the hospital. I'm going there now. The other searchers are rallying back here. I've ordered a shitload of pizza."

"Dad," Andy said. "You swore."

"Tonight is a night for swearing. I will ring when I know more."

Dad left and Andy cuddled into me.

"It was horrible Russ. But I found her in time. I saved her for you big Brother."

"And for the rest of us."

"Yes, but for you," he could not stop sobbing. I knew he was in shock.

"She was saying your name. Again and again. She looked at me and pleaded - don't let Russ be alone tonight. Help him make it through the night."

I looked at him in shock.

"You kept her alive out there, she didn't want to leave you alone."

I stared trying to discern what Andy knew.

He whispered in my ear.

"I know you two are lovers. I heard you crying out each other's names in the night. But I don't care what others think, I love you both, and you need each other. I knew I just had to find Fi for you."

"Oh Andy," I cried into his hair. "You know? You don't care."

"I don't care if it's right or wrong."

"Do you care enough to not breathe a word of this to others?"

"I care more than that. Your secret is safe. But can I ask you something? Don't be so loud when I'm next door trying to sleep."

"Shit, you heard. I think we both owe you, little brother. You just became my favourite little brother."

"I'm your only brother dickhead."

"You swore." I gave him a playful headlock.

"Dad said I could swear tonight."

"Well, fucking thanks."

"Fuckity fuck fuck fuck." Andy swore back and we laughed, somewhat relieved.

People started to arrive. It began to sound like a party out there.

"Bring me in some pizza. And a beer."

Dutifully Andy returned with three slices of my favourite.

"The beer is for you Andy, drinking makes my head worse."

"But I'm too young."

"If you can swear tonight you can have one beer. Hop up here and drink it with me."

My brother sat with me as he drank his beer and ate one of my slices.

"Careful, not so fast."

"Just don't want to get you in trouble."

"You're the hero tonight. Drink it in."

He burped his beery breath in my face. "Thanks, Bro. I'll be back with more pizza."

Five minutes later Jill knocked and quietly entered.

"Are you alright Russ?"

"I am now."

"Just wanted to say that Fi will need you close these next few weeks."

"I know."

"You know she is in love with you?"

I looked surprised. I stared at her trying to read her face in the darkness.

"I know."

"I mean really in love."

"So what has my sister told her BFF?"

She giggled, "Sorry sworn to secrecy."

"I think you just spilled some beans. But it's okay, I know. I guess she hasn't talked to you much this week."

"Russell. Really. Awesome."

"I'll tell her she can fill you in when she sees you, in private."

She hugged me.

"A nine?"

"I was a ten an hour ago. Never been a ten before."

"I guess all we can do is wait and see what the doctors say."

"I need to rest," I say. Revelations of the last half hour were doing my head in. Jill slipped out the door.

I drifted into sleep that was punctuated by nightmares. But it was not until dawn let me know the sun was up through a crack in my curtains that I heard Mum and Dad return. Mum came and sat with me while Dad disturbed Andy.

"We just got back. She is okay."

"What does okay mean?"

She has a broken leg and she needed surgery.

I sensed Mum was weighing up what to say.

"What surgery?"

"Please don't say anything to her if she wakes, the doctors will speak to her first. But she had to have a complete hysterectomy."

"You mean, her sex organs," I gasped.

"Yes, her womb and all the plumbing. She had massive internal injuries. She would have bled out otherwise. We are lucky Andy found her when he did. The surgeon said she would have died within the hour.

"She is a young girl. This will be very hard to take. You are going to need to help her through this as she has helped you. Be strong for her."

"Can I see her?"

"We will get some sleep and bring you in as soon as we wake."

"She was asking for you in the ambulance before they sedated you."

"I don't care if I'm a nine, I'm coming."

"Ok, well how about you shower, and change your sheets? Your bed stinks again."

Internally I groan as my sheets, while funky, contain the smells of our love-making this memorable week.

My body must be plastered with my sister's musk. Reluctantly I showered and stripped the bed. Surprisingly my levels rose to sevens and I could function.

I tottered out to the kitchen and had reheated pizza for breakfast. There must have been some celebration here last night. The lost was found.

About noon my parents woke and the four of us travelled to the hospital. She had a private room.

My sister looked peaceful lying there. It did not stop me from hugging her. Tubes all over her innocent face, spoiling the view. Her leg had a sheet and a special tent over it.

"They had to put pins in to hold her leg together. Don't look. It's a bit unpleasant. They won't put plaster on until they can be assured she has no infection," the nurse says.

Andy went pail. "I saw the leg in the car. I'm not looking again."

"I hear you are the hero," the kindly nurse said.

He blushed but said nothing. Pride swept through his face. "It's good she hears your voices. She is in a coma. She can hear."

After a few hours, Dad announced we should go home. All this time I had my head on her bed as close to hers as I could go.

"You do look sweet together," Mum commented. "I'll take a photo so your sister will know."

I heard a ping from the draw on her bedside table.

"I just sent it to her. In case she wakes before we get back."

"I'm not going, she has stayed by my side in my darkness for weeks. I can't leave her now."

Dad looked at Mum and nodded. "Okay Buddy, you get night watch. But can you cope with these bright hospital lights?"

"I'll talk to the nurse." Mum went off and she returned with a blackout eye mask.

The nurse will dim the lights when we go. She is arranging a recliner for you.

My parents left and we were alone. I whispered my love to her. I assured her I was here. I told her I loved her no matter what. I sang for her the words of our song.

"Lord it's sad to be alone, I'll help you make it through the night." Then I cried. I must have wept myself to sleep.

The nurse who was so kind came in. She put some sandwiches and a fresh coffee on the table for me.

"I'm about to go off duty. You must love your girlfriend so much."

I didn't realise I did it but I corrected her.

"My sister."

She stopped in her tracks. "That's what I meant. You don't look all that well, what is wrong?"

"Long COVID, it's bad, a bit better tonight, but my sister normally nurses me."

"That must suck, tell me about it?"

I tell her the full story of my last few years.

"I might as well be here holding my sister, rather than at home in the dark being scared shitless for her." I finish.

"Well, I'll pass it on to the night nurse. I think your sister needs you here, you need each other. Try and get some sleep."

"I have been, I can't help it. This shitty Long Covid all I can do is sleep."

I sleep fitfully, my head gets cricked on the bed at that angle. A recliner arrives and I sleep in it, my hand outstretched to hers.

I am awake in the morning when the surgeon visits.

"So you're the brother."

"Not the one who rescued her. The other one".

"I guessed that. Do you mind popping out with me to the consulting room? I would prefer Fiona does not hear this yet."

I move slowly.

"The nurse told me of your long covid. It must be tough."

"My sister has kept me alive. I would have been suicidal without her."

"I think I understand."

I doubted it, but let it pass. In the room, we had some privacy.

"You know your sister had a hysterectomy." I nod. "Unfortunately I had to remove her womb."

"So she can't have sex?" I breathed. I needed to know. He was a doctor after all.

He paused, "Not the vagina, just the womb. She can have sex, but not have babies."

Relief washed uninvited through my face.

"You know when I removed her womb it had fresh sperm in it." He paused as panic struck my soul.

"I don't normally break confidence like this, but your sister, your lover needs your help more than ever.

I splutter.

"How?"

"I know the look of a brother who loves a sister. Also, you were the last person to see her in the morning. Right, now when she wakes up, she will hear that devastating news and she will need you with her.

"Do Mum and Dad have to know about, you know?"

"She is over eighteen, so no."

"So sex is ok then. Aside from the sister thing."

"Yes, just be careful for a while, maybe not for six weeks. She might also have scaring. Here is my card. If it is painful for her make an appointment to see me. It can be fixed."

"Wow, that's big."

"One more thing, perhaps inadvisable for me to say, but you need someone to trust. My sister and I are in the same sort of relationship. I understand. If you want any help dealing with this just make an appointment."

I sit there stunned, he does understand.

"Now you, you should get home and have some sleep."

"But she could wake up?"

"Oh, you haven't been told. We have your sister in an induced medical coma to help her recover from the trauma. She won't come around until we bring her out of it.

We are planning on bringing her out tomorrow afternoon. So long as you are here tomorrow lunchtime you won't miss it."

"I doubt I could sleep."

"I could prescribe you some sleeping tablets."

"I think that might be needed. My body is screaming for me to rest. I need to be my best for tomorrow."

"Well, these could give you twenty-four hours of sleep. They are strong so only one." he had his pad out scribbling the medication.

"I hope to see your parents when they get in. I'll give your mum the prescription."

We stood and he saw me out, he gave a script to the nurse. "My sister will sort this out for you."

I stood trying to put the two and two together.

"Sister or sister sister?"

"Both. She knows we had this chat."

I went back to Fiona and talked to her. Told her that they put her to sleep so she could heal. Told her I would be here when she woke up, and told her I was going home for sleep and I would see her tomorrow.

Quieter, I whispered of my love. That her body was beautiful. That I would hold her every night. Together we would get through this darkness.

Quieter still I whispered, "I want to marry you. To live with you. I didn't care what was right or wrong so long as I could hold you through the night."

I looked up to see the nurse in tears. "Sorry Russ, I overheard. Your parents are on the way up. That was beautiful." she left hurriedly to compose herself.

My parents walked in. Andy came to me and hugged his big brother first. The surgeon took my parents to the consulting rooms.

"You doing ok Andy?"

"Just, I did sleep well last night. You?"

"Yes, I slept some, but mainly Fi and I have been chatting. You going to school."

"Yes with mum."

"Well, how about you chat with Fi? Maybe not tell her what you saw, just how beautiful she is."

I giggled," Tell her you have the hots for that nurse."

"Russ!"

"I was sixteen once," I laugh.

Mum and Dad came out.

"I'm taking you home Russ. Mum needs to work today." Dad informs me.

The nurse Rachel, who had a name tag on, came up and gave Dad a box that had come up from the hospital pharmacy.

"Make sure he only has one."

At home, I sleep nearly twenty-four hours. Like my Sister, my body needed sleep to heal some. The trauma of the last two nights had torn me up.

I wake. No one is home again. I shower. It is ten am but I am a five. Best I've been for ages. I have reheated pizza again. It's getting a bit past tasty, but it does.

I panic a bit about getting to the hospital. Until I think, an Uber. It cost a shit load but I am there by 12.

My sister hadn't changed. She does look Pinker in the flesh. The rest has done her good.

"Good, you are here. I can turn this off." The nurse disconnects a tube from the intubation.

"Don't worry it will take a while until she wakes. Press the buzzer if you think she is waking.

She does her obs. "Good her blood pressure and heart rate are healthy. Are you alright, you look a bit more with it today."

"That sleeping pill did me good. I slept for twenty-four hours. Better than I've felt for months. Apart from Fi, I'm scared shitless, even now."

"Well, keep talking your sweet love to her. It will do her a world of good just hearing your love."

"So you love your brother the same?" I enquire.

She tussles my hair. "All my life."

"And it's working out well."

"Better than well, best decision we ever made."

"So there is hope?"

"More than hope, love."

I sigh and lean forward to kiss my sister on the cheek. Her mouth being occupied with tubes.

"We will get those out once she is awake, you can kiss her properly then."

"If our parents are not here."

Rachel giggled. "You two are making my work so worth it. Thanks."

Just then my phone rings. It is Mum.

"I'm at the hospital."

"Good, I was about to come and pick up you up."

"I caught an Uber."

"Smart thinking."

"They just turned off the drugs. She should wake up sometime, but it might take hours."

"Are you alright then if I don't come in until after work? I'm going to skip the staff meeting."

"She might be awake by then."

"That's ok, she needs to see and hear you, not me. Too many of us might be overwhelming. I'll bring Andy, Dad might be a bit later. But text us when she wakes."

We say goodbye and I hold my sister. I sit next to her and lean in.

Rachel comes in.

"It's okay if you want to lie down by her side. Just take off your shoes and don't bump that leg."

I put my head on her shoulder and smell her hair. It needs washing, but it is still my sister's smells. I hold her hand and talk. Talk of us. Talk of my dreams for a future. Tell her that I love her over and over. Let her know she is not alone. She will make it through this darkness, this night. I am holding her. I won't let her go. I'm here for when she wakes. I tell her all this and more. That she is sexy and that she turns me on. That I'm even a bit hard now. I tell her she is loved.

I could tell her all these things for hours and I do.

Rachel comes in.

"How cute. I'll just do her obbs."

"Good, she is coming out of the comma." She shines a light in her eyes. "Not long now."

"Can you take a photo for me on my phone? I want her to know I am with her all the way if it gets tough later."

Rachel smiles and takes a few.

"I'm going to put it on video. Talk to her as you have been doing."

She records and I pour out my soul.

She puts my phone on the tray.

"Maybe not show anyone that video. So cute."

It's about two when I feel her move. My hand presses the buzzer.

Rachel comes,

"She moved."

"All in good time. Just let her come out as she will."

I think of our song. 'All I'm taking is your time.' Time is the most precious thing we have and yet we spend it cheaply. The early morning light is spreading on her face. Not the light from the sun, that day is well spent. But the light in her soul. This is her morning, our morning. She sighs.

I hold my breath as Fiona breathes a breath bigger than the whisper-quiet coma breaths. I tell her I love her. She sighs some more. Happy sighs.

It takes a bit, an eternity for me. She turns her head. Her eyes slowly open. We fall into our hearts in that moment.

"I knew you would be here."

I wipe a single tear from her face. We make love in silence. Love not of flesh. Love of spirit. Our eyes are where all the action is.

Rachel puts down my phone again.

"Sorry, I couldn't help it. How about I get rid of those tubes? Your oxygen levels are good."

She pulls the curtain and I stay holding my sister as she pulls the tubes from her throat.

"My throat is scratchy." She says. Then she looks at me.

"Is it all right if I kiss my brother?"

"I'll leave the curtain closed for a bit. Call if you need anything."

I guess that meant we could. Our noses touch. My mouth is dry. Fi's mouth must be dryer.

We kiss. Tentative at first. I do not mind that her mouth tastes of hospital. I give her some of my saliva that suddenly my mouth decides to give. I lick her dried lips.

"I think I need a drink. Thank you Russ for holding me through the night." She is weak.

"Shhh, you can tell me later, you need to rest. I'll get you a drink."

I press the buzzer.

Rachel comes and does her obs again.

"Probably best you get down now," she says. "Before the family arrive."

I look at the ward clock. Ninety minutes have passed in her waking. It is only time. Time I have. Time is all I have. But my long covid is kind today. I can enjoy the time with my sister.

"She wants a drink."

"Yes, but only a little. Just wet your mouth, and keep it there before you swallow. You have not had fluids or food for three days. You need to be careful or you will throw up."

I giggle, "You just don't want to clean that up." I stir Rachel.

"Oh no, that's a job for Nurse Russell." She retorts.

My sister giggles.

Rachel comes with the smallest plastic glass of water.

I hold the back of Fiona's head as she takes a mouthful. It dribbles a bit. Her mouth is still waking up. I lean in and kiss her wet lips.

"Much better, I love you, Russ."

"I love you Fi."

"I know" she smiles. "I really know."

Just then the footfalls of my family echo down the corridor. I pull back as if sprung in an intimate moment. It is Andy who bursts in first.

"Gently little brother. Just quietly," I warn.

He looks at Fiona and hugs her. Tears are in his eyes.

"You found me, Andy, thanks, I know, I remember."

Mum arrives next. Her tears are also showing. She has a gentle hug. Her hand draws back her daughter's hair and she kisses her forehead.

"It will be alright now Pet."

We talk a bit. Then Fiona notices her leg under the tent. I watch some fear go through her face.

"Can you wiggle your toes?" I ask.

"Yes," she breathes.

"Then the leg is still there. You just have pins in it holding it together."

Andy goes to lift the sheet to look.

"I need to, I need to see that she is all there." He peaks.

"Cool, it's like roboman down there. Lots of metal."

We laugh.

"Enough," I cuff his head. "They have not put the plaster on yet, in case it got infected," I explained to Fiona. "You do have a bit bit of titanium in there, so Andy is not too wrong."

"So long as they also put a servo motor in, so I can kick his arse." Fiona jokes.

They stay a while but Fiona is sleepy.

Mum reads the moment. Mum draws me aside.

"She didn't know yet?"

"No," I shake my head. "The surgeon will tell her when he does his rounds."

"Can you be with her, if I am not here when he does?"

"I'm not leaving her side. The surgeon has clued me in."

My mother looks at me.

"You really love her don't you?"

"Yes Mum, I really love her."

She hugs me and weeps. "I don't care if it's right or wrong. Thank you, just help her get through this."

"I will Mum."

I let the unspoken slip past. But I know we will have to talk of how much I love my sister later. The family kiss her good night and leave.

We are alone again.

Fiona sleeps between sips of water.

Dad arrives, and they spend fifteen minutes talking. Dad tells how Andy insisted he knew where she was and how he found her. He is beaming with pride.

"But enough, are you staying Russ?"

"Yes, all night."

"How are you?"

I stop and think. Shit, I did not realise it.

"I was five when I came in. But wow I feel like I'm a three at worst."

"Well don't overdo it, but that is amazing. Ring if you need someone here to take over."

He knows that I am not leaving.

Tea arrives, Rachel has gone off duty, but the new nurse is great. I am more careful because she does not know we are lovers.

She props Fiona up so she can eat a little. She brings a hot meal for me as well. As Fiona moves she groans a bit in pain.

"I'm sore down here." She pointed.

"That's expected, you had some surgery."

My sister hears something had, has happened for the first time and is worried.

"It's all right, the surgeon will be here soon to explain what he needed to do," the nurse informs her.

Fiona looks at me. I reassure her with my eyes. "It's okay, you are healing well."

I avoid more. She eats a bit. I pick at mine.

Fortunately, the surgeon arrives. He pulls the curtain around.

"How about we talk first and then I'll do an exam."

"Can my Brother stay?"

"Of course. Well, you know about the leg. It's sort of obvious. But I had to do some other surgery."

I squeezed her hand, I knew that this was it.

"Unfortunately you nearly bled to death, your reproductive organs were a mess."

I see fear and feel it through her fingers that grip me tight.

"This meant we had to do a full hysterectomy."

He let that sink in.

My Sister looks at me in fear, she knows what that means, I lean in and kiss her.

"We can do this," I whisper.

"Your vagina is in good condition but we had to remove your womb. You will not be able to have children."

Fiona screams her loss and buries her head in my shoulder, tears stream. I weep with her for our loss.

I whisper in her ear. "The doctor knows we are lovers, he is a good man."

It takes ten minutes but my sister quiets. He is patient, and not in a rush like most specialists.

"Are you up for that exam now?"

"I think so. Is that the worst of it?"

"Yes. The best is you are alive and you are loved." He looks at me.

I turn to my Sister.

"It's alright Fiona, he knows and he understands."

First, he looks at her leg.

"This is good, we can get this in plaster now."

He calls the nurse. Rachel enters. Now they are together I can see the family likeness. I hold my sister's hand. My sister is looking at them both.

"Can I tell her Mr Edward?" I ask.

Mr Edward Hollingsworth grins. Rachel almost claps her hands.

"Yes Russell, but no one else, ever."

"I understand. Fiona darling Rachel and Ed here are Brother and Sister." I watch her face light up. "And they, like us are lovers."

Rachel giggled. "We have been for a long time."

Suddenly my sister weeps. "So it's alright, we can make it?"

"It's a hard road, but so worth the love." The surgeon smiles.

"Now back to work. If you can hand me the speculum, Sister."

He gently inserts it and examines her vaginal walls.

"Great, it's healing well. Do you care to look, Russell?"

I hesitate. Fiona squeezes my hand.

"Nothing you have sort of not seen already," she whispers. "But hurry it sort of hurts."

I squat as invited.

Can you see the stitches at the end? That is the cervix. Fortunately, it survived, and it will give your sister structure at that end of the vagina. Those stitches will dissolve in about three weeks. But I suggest no climaxes if you can avoid it, and as you know, no sex for six weeks.

My sister listens and realises he has already talked to me.

"Sometimes the end of a stitch does not dissolve properly so if once you achieve penetration, it's rare, but you could feel a prick on your glans. If that happens just get in contact with me and I can arrange to have it removed. He retracted the speculum.

"Sister, can you make an appointment for me to see Fiona in four weeks and again in six? You should come too, Russell. But remember any issues in the meantime ring through to my secretary. She will have you on a priority booking list."

He then looked at the scar that ran horizontally across the bottom of her abdomen. There was a bit of bruising.

"That's good. Can you organise an ultrasound, Sister? I want to be sure there is no more internal damage or bleeding. I think you may be able to go home in three days. I'll be back tomorrow to answer any more questions.

"Now Sister Rachel is supposed to be off duty. I think I'm finished for the day."

He looks at his sister with the same eyes I look at mine.

"I think we can go home together. You two are remarkable young people. It will work out fine."

They leave and I hold my sister. The curtain is still shut.

My sister looks at me scared. I can almost read her mind.

"I'm not going anywhere, Fiona. You are the love of my life. My only love. Yes, I would have loved to give you children. I can't begin to feel how hard this will be for you. Maybe one day we can adopt. But I am never leaving you alone. Let's leave tomorrow for tomorrow. Today is hard enough. I'm staying here. I want to hold you through the night."

A resident shows up and they get busy putting plaster over Fiona's leg. It still had some metal spikes protruding but they were able to remove some of the framework. Her knee and lower leg have been reconstructed. They tell her they will remove the external rods in four to six weeks. The plaster will get redone then. They finish it with a pretty pink more waterproof plaster.

"You are going to be the first to sign it." The resident hands me a Sharpie. He came prepared.

We hold each other. The ward goes quiet. Staff do obs, but other than that we are undisturbed.

Rachel wakes us on her morning rounds.

"Your dad dropped this off on his way to work, Russell."

"Good, I asked him too. Fiona needs to have her hair washed." It's her shampoo.

"Perhaps Nurse Russell would like to do that for her."

I looked at her.

"That's right. I'll let you shower her. I'll make sure you are undisturbed."

"Your Dad also brought you a change of clothes, Russell."

"That's good," my sister laughs. "He is starting to stink."

"Perhaps you can shower together."

She carries my clothes into the ensuite shower and toilet room.

"I'll get some waterproof bags for legs and show you how to use them. Maybe shower every second day, it's a bit of a pain to protect with those brackets. You can sponge wash in between."

We get her all strapped up.

"Look, there might be a bit of dried blood dislodged in showering but don't attempt to clean inside yet. If you see any new blood then call me immediately."

She shuts the door, snibbing it on her way out.

We kiss.

"Well, nurse Russell get to it." My sister is getting into this. I strip my patient. Oh, I have missed her body. It looks frailer.

She puts her hand to my belt and undoes it.

"Can't get your trousers wet, can we."

I give her the joy of stripping me, as much as she can while in her shower chair.

I finish off and carefully put my clothes away from the shower.

I take my duties seriously, but cannot avoid getting hard. My sister soaps me and plays with my hardness. Because I am standing and she is seated. My penis is head high.

"She didn't say anything about you not cumming Big Brother."

She pulls me between her legs and sucks my clean cock into her mouth. Her hands join in and soon I cum. I cannot last long, it's a while since I have cum and then it was in my sister on that fateful morning. I stifle my groan, but my cum face tells it all.

"I think you got some in my hair, nurse Russell." She hands me the shampoo.

Lovingly I wash her long locks, massaging her scalp with fingers and the occasional semi-hard penis. Her soapy strands play around my flesh. Okay, I might have made the hair do that. I am careful to clean her anus and her vulva. Then we are done.

I dry her and we dress. Although she wears a hospital gown, as panties cannot go over her leg. My sister has the cutest bottom. It's even cuter sticking out the back of the gown.

I call Sister Rachel in and she helps me move Fiona to her bed.

"You both smell so much better."

"Thank you so much," Fiona said, "you have no idea how important that was for me."

I just wear a goofy smile.

"I also 'thanked' my brother." She giggled.

"Well breakfast is ready, I hope he didn't spoil your appetite."

"No, Just made me hungrier."

Mum and Andy turned up as we ate.

"Mum, can I talk with you? Maybe go down to the cafe and I can get a real coffee."

"What level are you?"

"I'm a three mum. Andy are you okay to chat to Fiona."

We go down. I have some things I need to get off my chest. It is tight with nerves. We grab a coffee and sit on an outside table in the morning sun.

"You know yesterday, you said something."

"Yes." She pauses, I think she knows what conversation.

"You asked me if I really love her. Well, Fiona feels the same. But you also said that you didn't care if it was right or wrong."

I had tears coming.

"I think you need to know. We are lovers."

Tears well in her eyes also.

"We lost our virginities together less than two weeks ago now. We want to be together."

Mum hugs me. Her tears flow. She whispered, "I thought as much."

I looked at her. "You don't mind?"

"I meant what I said, I don't care if it's right or wrong. You mean so much to her. She has had a massive crush on you all her life. That you love her as deeply, which this week proves you do, is wonderful. I don't care. I want you to be together."

The dam bursts in my chest. We cry as we attempt to drink our coffee.

"Does Dad know?"

Mum nodded. "Not that you have crossed the line, but we have talked about your mutual love. I think he will be pleased to know that this was sealed before the accident. It will be so important for Fiona now, that you continue to love her. She has just lost her motherhood. It is a blow we women dread. A hysterectomy is a big thing even for a woman of sixty, much much more for an eighteen-year-old. I've been crying for her loss for three days now."

"I need to let you know, Andrew also knows. He heard us in the night. He is thrilled for us. It's why he kept saying he found her for me. He knew how important it was."

We stop and let our thoughts sink in. No more needs to be said at that moment.

"Well, we should get back," I suggest. I have been away from my love too long already.

"I guess life changes again. This time I think it's for the better. I'll have a chat with your Father tonight."

Back in the room, Mum went straight up to Fiona. She gave her a kiss and whispered in her ear.

"I know and I'm happy. Give me a day and I'll be over the moon with excitement."

Andy sidled up to me. "I just told our sister I know about. You know."

"That's good because I just told Mum."

"And she didn't kill you?"

"Does that look like she will?" I nod toward Mum and Fi.

"No, but Dad might."

"He is finding out tonight, keep low if it goes bad. But from what Mum told he is sort of expecting it."

"I'll text you if the shit hits the fan."

"Thanks, Buddy."

"Maybe talk to Mum on your way home, she knows you know."

"You know I should feel ripped off?"

"Why?"

"Well, you are sort of my brother-in-law now. I could have had a few of them if you two got married, like to different people. Or I could have fallen in love with a sexy sister in Law. But now nothing. Ripped off."

"But look at the quality Brother in Law you inherited."

"My point exactly."

He took off. He knew the headlock was my next move.

"What's up?" Fiona asked.

"Just brothers being brothers," Andy giggled.

"Hey little Bro, you need to sign my cast."

"Cool!

"You probably need to be careful you don't just whip off the sheet, I laugh a warning to my Sister.

"Bloody hospital gowns," she mutters. Fortunately, Andy had his eyes elsewhere.

"What did they do plaster an echidna in there with you?" Andy was enamoured by the metal latticework.

"You got this ladder for life then?"

I loved Andy's sense of humour. He signed the cast, then drew a mouse playing on the scaffold.

"Cool," Fiona proclaimed, "my own Banksy."

"More than just a talented footy star," I add.

"Well leave the rest of the spikes for me. I've got some other cool ideas."

Mum and Andy stayed another forty minutes. We don't discuss the secret we all know. Too public, but neither do they know Sister Rachel knows.

Andy sidles up to Sister R and asks. "Know any nice nurses?"

"Only the one in my mirror," she clues in straight away.

"Really," his eyes bulge.

"In your dreams son. I'm taken."

"I tried," he said as he walked over to me.

"Well bro maybe ask someone from high school next time."

"Can't hurt in aiming big."

"I think you just tried a dropkick and it failed."

"Rude."

He kissed Fi good night and hugged me.

"I'm so happy for you bro. But I think you got a home goal."

"Cheeky," Fi interrupted.

Andy was in good spirits when he and Mum left.

Dad visited later and had some news.

"Your Grandma and Grandpa are coming down for a few days."

"Fantastic. Mum didn't say anything," Fiona noted.

"She doesn't know yet, they will be here tomorrow."

"Where will they sleep?" Fiona asks.

"I thought they could have your bed Fi, your room is at least clean. Maybe Andy can bunk with you Russ, and Fiona you can go into Andy's when you get home.

I was thinking about sleeping arrangements. I was looking forward to going back to us sharing beds, both Beds.

"I think I'll be home in two days. I'm not sure Andy will be pleased. How long are they staying?"

"I'm not sure at least three nights."

I knew Mum was saying something tonight, maybe if I plant a seed, I thought.

"I'm not sure how I'll cope if I have another few nights at eight or nine. Fi often cuddles me through the night when I'm bad."

Fi giggled, "Can't see Andy buying that role."

"I'll talk to your mother, but then I doubt my parents would understand you two cuddling either."

"Good point. I hope I don't take a dive."

The problem is that after a few very good days, I always take a dive into darkness. These last few days may have been the grace I needed to look after Fi here, but then what? It was great, but I had given up hope of falling into clear fogless days. I'm sure that once the need to be on deck for Fi was removed, then I would be the one needing nursing.

Dad needed to go home so we bid him goodbye.

About an hour later, I got a text from him.

'Oh, that changes everything'

Then another,

'Don't worry, not mad.'

Then another,

'sort of expected it.'

Finally, I got one from Andy.

'Dad, wow, didn't lose it. We are all talking together about what this means. It's like I'm an adult at last. They are including me.'

Fiona and I cuddle in the dim light of the room. The night nurse tells me I can lie next to Fiona if I don't bump her leg. But I spend most of the night in the recliner.

I wake in the morning and I'm an eight. The hospital is too hard, too noisy, too light.

Fiona looks at me knowingly.

"You need to go home, Russ. This isn't good for you today."

"I wanted to shower you today before the Grandies arrive."

"I get it, but you can't, you know that. Nurse Rachel will have to earn her keep. I should be home tomorrow."

"It's been amazing I've lasted this long. But ok I surrender." I curl up in a ball on the recliner.

Some time later Rachel comes over.

"Is Russ ok?"

I hear my little Sister explain.

"Wow, that's bad, I have never seen a Long Covid person at their worst."

She comes over to me and whispers.

"Do you mind if I do some obs on you? Just for interest's sake. I like to learn."

I nod. "That's fine."

She does a range of tests, including some neuro obs. She explained what she was doing as she went.

"Remarkable. Vitals are normal, but yes, your eyes are very sensitive to light and your coordination is shot. But then both sides are normal as well. So like a migraine, not a stroke. I agree with your sister you are better off at home.

"It's hard to be alone, I hate to leave Fiona alone."

"I know, you have been a wonderful help. But I'm afraid Fiona can't help you at the moment."

"I'll ring Mum for you," Fi cuts in. "Maybe she can pick you up."

My sister is on the phone straight away.

"She was on her way to work." I sort of blanked out, it wasn't until driving home that I heard what happened.

"I decided to take the day off. I was almost there, so dropped Andy off and called the boss, family emergency. He understood. I felt it would also be great to be around for Merle and Tony, (Dad's parents).

Silence fell for most of the trip.

"You are bad. It's amazing you lasted this long. We have talked about your situation with Fi. We sort of agree you should share a bedroom permanently."

I was gobsmacked. "Really, how did I deserve such great parents."

"Rocks in our heads, but we love our kids most. We will help you through."

"I want to chat more but can't right now. Thanks."

"Just to let you know we decided to let Fi sleep with you while grandparents are here. But please wear a full set of PJs. I think we can sell it with the bigger bed and Fiona's caste.

We got home and I crawled into bed. I was a nine again. I remember getting a kiss from Grandma, and a pat from Pa, but that was all for the next twenty-four hours. It was so sad to be alone. All I could do was pray. Lord help me through the night.

Darkness came and darkness went, but darkness never left. Just the shadows played differently. The sounds of Grandparents changed the ambience of the house.

Andy came and lay down with me after school. Just to hold me.

"I'm no sister, but I'll have to do. Fi is coming home tomorrow."

I wasn't sure what tomorrow we were on. All my yesterdays and tomorrows were dead. But I wished the present would be the thing that was gone.

The next tomorrow my sister was home. I could hear Merle flapping in the wind over the bedding arrangements. Mum was trying hard to explain that my little sister helps me make it through the night. Eventually, Fi was helped into my bed. She was wearing a neck-to-ankle nighty.

She grinned. "She doesn't realise I can't get panties over my caste," she whispers in my ear.

It is about lunchtime and Fiona loves me to sleep. I wake to her hand, slipped inside my PJ's, holding my limpness.

I start to harden up.

"My medicine is working." She giggles. "Everyone is out shopping, how about I take care of this."

It was hard with her leg, but she encourages me to turn so she can use her mouth to help me cum. It has been a few days, but I'm impressed her skills in the oral department have improved. Her tongue was very active and her hands helped in finding the best way to make me groan. It does not take long before I cum. My sister takes it all. She does not let a drop escape.

"The only problem with that big brother is my pussy misses you, but I dare not cum. I think my cervix might hurt too much. But for you, anything dear brother, my lover.

"It's going to be a long six weeks."

"Correction buddy, five now, I'm counting."

I turn and kiss her spermie mouth.

"What are you now?"

"No more than a seven. You have brought some lightness already."

"Can you handle the Tele? I want to do something normal."

"Yes, I think so. It might help us with the Grandies as well."

Mum had hired a wheelchair for Fiona. Deciding that crutches would not help take pressure off her healing abdominal muscles. I wheeled her down.

When the family arrived they found us with the TV running mindlessly, and the two of us cuddling up, but asleep.

Grandpa sat on the recliner and changed the TV to news. It was a bit too loud. He was going deaf and I was noise-sensitive. I texted Mum about the situation and she brought me my noise-cancelling headphones.

"What levels Pet? she asked as she handed them to me.

"Just below a seven."

"I wouldn't have believed it, I guess it works," Grandma commented.

Mum winks at me. Fiona stirs, she is lying on my chest, her plastered leg along the couch. Dad gets home early today and soon we are all together. Andy is still the hero of the hour. He laps up the attention. Fiona snuggles in and is happy she is home and alive.

Grandma and Pa head home as planned and life turns days to weeks.

Fiona makes room for her bedroom to become our bedroom. My room becomes a study room and lounge for us. It gives us a space between our bedroom and Andy's ears. I fluctuate between sixes and eights but get the occasional four.

Three weeks on our sister gets the plaster changed and the scaffold removed. Andy has impressed everyone with his extensive Banksy art. Now his sister's old plaster lives on his wall as art. Minus the manky smelly cotton wool that is.

Fiona can now bend her knee. We head to Mr Edward's surgery for a consult. It's funny that surgeons are addressed as Mr, not Dr. So for us he became Mr Ed, which our grandparents thought was funny, we have no idea why. But he also became a confidant.

He walked us through the process of returning to sex. Chances were we would need more lubrication than before and advised it best to start with more and reduce if possible. Also, he gave us a cream to use to help the scarring.

"Probably best applied once a day on your finger. Once you start having sex then from the end of your dick, to get the scars at the end. It should also soften the traumatised flesh of the vagina."

I looked puzzled.

"Oral should be okay now. But nothing dramatic. Try a climax or two, but let your pain threshold be your guide."

Soon we are finished.

"Please pass our love on to Rachel?" Fiona asks as we prepare to leave.

"She misses you both. She told me that her work was the most fun while you were there."

"I don't think I would have survived as well had she not let Russ stay with me. It was a traumatic enough time to go through without being alone."

"Perhaps once you are no longer my client, you might like to go out for coffee with us. I know my Rachel would love that."

We were at the door. I turned and shook his hand.

"We would absolutely love that. You have made our time through this hardship a blessing."

"I'll see you in two weeks for the final all clear."

Fiona gives him a hug and we depart.

Two weeks pass, and I vary between fives and nines. It appears to go in a cycle. I wake in my sister's arms. Her plaster came off yesterday. It is so good to wrap her in my arms again.

Fiona whispers to me. "It is six weeks. I want you Russ, I want you now."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm desperate to find out if I can still take you, you know and not be hurt."

"I know what you mean, although I get that I cannot know how important that is for you."

"Grab the lube."

I do. My darkness lightens as I rip off my sunglasses. My sister wraps her hands around my hardness and lubes me up as my fingers prepare her.

She does not have to say gently but she does. I push forward. She is tight but I feel her folds preparing the way as I push forward.

"Yes, so good Russ. No pain at all."

"Can I move some then?"

"Yes please."

We go into the rhythms of love. I feel my sister getting slippery.

"Go as deep as you can. Check for undissolved stitches."

I thrust upon her cervix. She does not break, all I feel is pleasure.

"Fuck me hard Big Brother, as hard as you can."

"Yes, no pain, just pleasure, more!" she screams. "Yes. I'm going to cum."

I know this is the final test. I don't hold back but plunge my sister to new heights. We both shout cumming together.

We collapse in the consummation of our love.

Fiona is crying. I hold her close.

"No pain Russell, only pleasure. I can work for you, for us. You have no idea how relieved I am right now."

"You have a heavy burden to bare, but we share our burdens, always remember that."

We lie in emotional peace.

"Shit," Fiona says "I have my final exam today to get the all-clear. I meant for us to do this after the consult."

"I don't care."

"But Mr Ed will find your sperm."

"It's nothing he didn't find before. I guess we came full circle. I love you Fiona, I don't care, he will only find the evidence of our love."

Today became our tomorrows, and these turned into years.

We loved our lives in each other's arms. We held each other through so many nights. We were helpmates, lovers and friends. My long covid came and went and came again. We gave up hope of not living without it.

But that's a story only time may tell. Tales like shadows dancing on the wall: Fleeting tomorrow's.

.............

Thanks you for your support and personal messages after your read Darkness. There won't be a sequel to this. Best we leave Fiona and Russ to work out their own lives.

I have other short stories coming and of course more of my Series. Journey to love.

Watch out for my Story 'Is that Normal.' In final editing now.

I love reading you comments.