The Musketeers - Chapter 03

Over the next few years our friendships and relationships grew deeper. Touching and hugging between opposite spouses became more frequent and done with ease. No one was uncomfortable as nothing was overtly sexual, but that is not to say it wasn't arousing.

When Jane was being particularly flirty in a teasing way, I would even give her a little swat, much as Max would do to Maria when she was sassy or sarcastic with him. It was all in good fun and everyone was comfortable with the developments and the deepening of our bonds with each other.

We hadn't even reached our forties yet when once again our idyllic life was interrupted, but this time it was much bigger than a job transfer and this time fate was showing its truly ugly side. Max had been having headaches off and on for a while but now they were becoming more frequent and severe. The normal remedies weren't effective anymore, so his doctor ordered an MRI of his head. The results and follow-up exams dealt us all a blow to the gut. Max had an inoperable tumor and given its location on the brain and how far it had progressed already, the prognosis was not good or long-term.

Cancer treatments were started and our motto of all for one and one for all was put into full action. We practically lived together. Maria and I helped as we could with meals, doctor appointments, taking to treatments, just being there for them. I would relieve Jane and hang with Max, so she and Maria could get out and do something to give her a break or just get her mind off the cancer for a few hours. A few times, Maria suggested that I take Jane out while she stayed with Max, but I nixed the idea. But she was insistent, and she knew I could only say no to her for so long. She would always get her way eventually if it was important to her and this was.

So, I did as she told me, "Take her on a nice date -- dinner, a movie, a long walk, whatever. Just treat like a queen and dote on her. Let her know you love her." And that is what I did.

It seemed to help her, so we started going out about once a week. At first it was a bit awkward. More for her than me. I was on a mission to put her on a pedestal and make her feel special and loved, which was easy for me to do, because in some way I had loved her for a long time.

But accepting that love seemed to make her uncomfortable. She had a sick and dying husband and so it was hard to enjoy herself and thus accept the love. Plus, Max had no reason to tell her to show me that I was loved, like Maria had told me to do for Jane. So, it was hard for her to handle what must have seemed to her like a one-sided relationship while her and her true love's life was falling apart.

Over time however, with the more 'dates' we had and the more I assured her of my (and Maria's) love for her (and Max), the more comfortable I could tell she got with accepting my love for her. We got to know each other even better than ever and became greater friends than ever before. We shared not only our fears and tears, but also our joys and even some laughs along the way. The dates definitely were helping her, and me too, and they increased in frequency.

Eventually some of our dates were simply for her to come over to our house, while Maria went to theirs. She and I would relax by the pool for a while, eat something we would cook together, and then watch a movie. At some point, our home dates became Jane's date of choice as she could just kick off her shoes, relax, and unwind, which is what she needed the most.

Our comfort with each other and our relationship, led the unwinding to include Jane cuddling up to me as we watched a movie. At first, it was simply sitting next to me on the couch. Then a few times, when it had been a particularly bad week and she would be wiped out, she would fall asleep and her head would come to rest on my shoulder. Later, whenever we sat down on the couch, she would just cuddle up to me and my arm would go around her. It became second nature and the norm rather than the exception.

I always told Maria about our 'dates' and she not only had no problem with how they had progressed, but she was also quite pleased. I told her that recently, Jane would give me a friendly peck on the cheek at the end of the date. She was okay with that. In fact, eventually Maria said I should kiss her back. But I never felt comfortable with that, and Maria did not push me. Jane was Max's wife and he was dying. I felt if I did anything more with Jane that I would be taking advantage of her vulnerable state and be betraying my love for Max and for Jane, as well as for Maria.

At the end I explained this to Maria and she said she understood and did not push me again. But I had to admit to myself, that I loved the hugs that Jane gave with the pecks. The embraces lingered and were tight. We hugged other times but those were usually sad with tears and crying if Max was having a tough time. But the end of the 'date' hugs were arousing for me. Coming off a wonderful escape from reality evening of just the two of us together, I was treated to the feel, the warmth, and the curves of her luscious body. I know a few times, if she had been particularly cuddly that evening, she had to feel my arousal pressing into her, but she never backed away and never said anything.

Despite the heroic efforts of the doctors and bold fight that Max gave, within just less than a year he passed peacefully in Jane's arms with Maria and I nearby. Although we knew this was the most likely outcome from the beginning and it was apparent over the last few weeks that the time was drawing near, it was still the hardest thing I had ever experienced. He was unfairly taken way too early and too quickly.

For Maria and me, ever since the doctors had dropped the bomb, our relationship had been tested. But our love withstood the test from the time of diagnosis through his death. We loved each other more than ever because we came to understand how precious our time together was and what it truly meant to love each other as we had been firsthand witnesses to Max and Jane's love through the toughest of times. However, it had been tough and even though our love was strong, the stress had worn away at our closeness. It was a strange dichotomy -- we loved each other more than ever but weren't as close as we used to be.

Our sex life had suffered too. Not only had the strain of Max's illness taken a toll on our time and desire to make love, but Maria was going through some hormonal imbalance issues that the doctors had yet been able to get under control. Her sexual appetite had faded to put it mildly. We had gone into this period of our lives of having sex several times per week with lots of variety, kinkiness, fantasy, role playing, even toys, but then we came out having intercourse maybe only once a week if we were lucky. And many times, it seemed like Maria was just going through the motions. She ultimately admitted as much to me and apologized but said she just didn't have the desire like she used to. She was upset.

Our sparse lovemaking became more scarce as I realized that if Maria wasn't enjoying the sex, then I didn't really enjoy it either. I only got release, not real pleasure as it was an unequal interaction. On top of that, we knew we shouldn't be feeling sorry for ourselves. We could make love if we had wanted to, but Jane and Max had lost that ability as he declined. We felt selfish as our issues paled in comparison to theirs.

When Max died, our situation did not improve, it became worse. The next months, for all of us, was a mixture of sadness, numbness, memories, and emotions. The three of us just kind of drifted along. We all were quiet and distant with each other despite our best efforts.

Jane, of course, had the toughest time, but finally over the last few months had improved some. Maria, on the other hand, even though she hadn't reached the depths that Jane had, did not seem to be improving despite my best efforts to help her.

The three of us still hung out a lot together, but there was a cloud over us that we couldn't seem to get to go away. That is until the Saturday after the six-month anniversary of Max's passing. Jane called in the morning and asked if we could have a pool day. Her tone of her voice did not seem to have the trace of sadness we were accustomed to. We hadn't had a pool gathering since Max had been diagnosed. We had each used the pool now and then, but never all of us at the same time. It had simply become a place to get wet, swim off some emotions, or get some exercise. Not a place of fun and relaxation.

Maria and I agreed to the pool day, and Jane said she would come right over. For the first time in a long time, the request from Jane and in particular the tone of the request, had put some pep in my step and I pulled Maria with me. We scampered up and got on our suits, then at my request, Maria went to the kitchen to grab some snacks and whip up a batch of margaritas. I went out to the pool and got the skimmer net to gather the leaves that had fallen into the water.

I finished up and put the net pole away and was standing with my back to the house as I admired my work. For the first time in a while I had a little positivity in my attitude. Jane's idea was a good one and she had sounded as upbeat as we had heard in a long time. Maria had brought out the snacks, drinks, and cups and joined me by the pool. I talked about finally looking forward to something. Maria wasn't exactly her old self but seemed a little better as we spoke.

We must have been lost in our thoughts and our little conversation, because we never heard Jane come up on us. But we quickly became aware of her presence when she shoved both of us in the back and into the pool we flew. We came up sputtering water, "WHAT THE HELL?"

Then I looked Jane. She was in a red bikini, standing with her legs slightly parted at the edge of the pool, hands on her hips looking down at us. I don't know that I have seen a much sexier sight. Her tits were covers by two triangles held together by thin strings and her nipples were poking at the fabric. Her crotch and ass were similarly covered by fabric held up by strings around her waist and pulled tightly showing the bulge of her pussy lips. It was sexy as hell and boarding on obscene from my angle as she declared, "It has been six months. We have mourned long enough. Max wouldn't want us to continue to mope around and it isn't good for us. It is getting us nowhere. So, from now on we remember Max's life and love, not his suffering and death! I declare the grieving period is OVER!"

Maria and I were hanging on the side of the pool. We looked at each other and nodded in agreement. Then Maria spoke up, "But did you have to shove us in the pool?"

"No, I just wanted to!' Jane chuckled.

Maria grabbed her ankles and yelled at me, "Get her!"

"NO!" Jane exclaimed as she struggled to get free while I jumped out of the pool.

I picked her up and acted like I was going to toss her in, but then instead I simply jumped into the pool with her in my arms. Before we hit, she wrapped her arms around my neck and held me close and tight.

When we came up, she was still holding me firmly and I realized my hand that was on her thighs had slipped up to the lower region of her ass. When I looked down at her, my eyes drifted down to her chest where I saw that part of one of her boobs had slipped out of its triangle and I got a view of her nipple. It was just as Maria had described it to me -- a small, fat, and light pink oversized pencil eraser -- one that looked good enough to nibble on. Jane followed my eyes and knew she was exposed but made no effort to cover up. I was caught off guard by everything and dropped her out of my arms back into the water where she readjusted her suit.

Maria hadn't seen any of this brief exchange as she had been busy laughing at me grabbing Jane and hauling her into the pool. She also didn't see Jane rub her hand across my swelling crotch and wink at me after she had recovered and put her suit back in place.

Jane had enough of Maria's laughing and began to splash Maria breaking her from her revelry. The cat fight was on, all in good fun. The rest of the day was as much fun as the initial encounter -- good friends, good times, good food, and good drinks. It was also filled with a lot of flirting and touching and grabbing and laughing between all three of us, not just between me and the girls, but also between the two girls. It felt like we were heading back to more normal, or at least a new normal, even if it was an early work-in-progress.

There were times where we would remember Max and missed him not being them, but we all tried to make those moments be about the good memories and less about the sadness of him being gone. That too was a work-in-progress. One of those times was when we were standing in the shallow end drinking our margaritas. I was standing between the two girls when I sat my cup down, put my arms around each of their waists, looked to the sky and said, "All for one and one for all." The girls raised their eyes and their glasses as well to Max. It brought a few tears to all of us but also smiles. A good memory mixed with some sadness that we were now only the three musketeers.

That day, but that moment in particular, was something we needed. It seemed to allow us to let out and let go of some of the baggage we had been carrying and was weighing us down. We did it together by recognizing in that little phrase what Max had given to us with his life and what he always had and always would mean to us. We knew he was still with us and always would be. He would never be forgotten.

As the afternoon wore on, we just enjoyed being together and being more like our old selves again. Jane was trying hard to be her old self and I worked at it too. Maria even came around some.

She and the three of us were not and never would be the same after what we had been through, yet maybe we could have some similarity to the way it was before just with a new dynamic. I hoped it was the first day of rebirth of us both individually and now as a trio.

It was a memorable day in many ways, but personally one of my most memorable moments was when we were climbing up the ladder and I got to watch the two girls' asses as they sashayed up and out of the pool. Jane went first and seemed to have a little extra sway in her ass that looked great in her bikini as she slowly and provocatively climbed the ladder.

She had always been sexy, but this new bikini clad version of Jane was being reborn with a different vision on life. At some point in the pool, she had said life was too short to not to try and enjoy every moment to the fullest. I was definitely enjoying this moment. My eyes never left that ass and that earned me a well-deserved punch from Maria, but it was worth it. I also noticed that Maria seemed to be enjoying this moment as her eyes were also on Jane's display as well. When Jane was out and starting to dry off, I noticed her nipples were at full attention under her bikini triangles. She too had enjoyed the moment and knew she had had our full attention.

Not to be outdone, Maria climbed up and put on her own display with her bubble butt. However, I was the only one who got to enjoy that display, as Jane was busy drying off. When Maria got to the top of the ladder she looked back and winked knowing I had enjoyed the show. Her longer nipples were popping as well.

I hung out in the pool for a bit longer to let certain parts of me calm down. That delay had given the girls time to get settled into some lounge chairs and as I rose out of the pool, I felt four eyes on me from behind their sunglasses. So, I made as slow of an ascent as I could and tried to give them a show. I skipped the towel and decided to just let the waterflow run and drip of my body. At one point Maria, reached her hand over to Jane's, grabbed it, squeezed it, and then held it. Jane returned the squeeze and didn't let go. I thought maybe I had done an okay job to try and look sexy.

That evening we ordered some dinner, and enjoyed a relaxing meal followed by a movie. It reminded me of Jane and my date nights. Another good memory mixed with a tinge of sadness. This was different though. Tonight, I had two lovely ladies cuddled up to me. I selected a comedy movie to try and keep the mood light.

I was having a hard time reading Maria. All day she was struggling to keep having a good time. At times, she would open up and be carefree for a while and then other times she would become distant and self-absorbed. While we sat there in front of the TV, I couldn't tell if she was bothered by Jane snuggling up to me or not, but Jane showed no hesitation to do so. I sensed she felt it was natural and comfortable for the three of us to be there like that. Our 'dates' had obviously meant a lot to her and having Maria join us know only seemed to make it better for her. And for me too.

When the movie was over, Jane stretched and yawned and declared it was time for her to go home. We offered for her to stay in the guest bedroom, but she wanted to go home, so we walked to the door. She thanked us profusely for the day and I thanked her for breathing life back into us. Maria and her hugged strongly and for an extended time with some misty eyes and smiles. Then Jane turned to me. We hugged just as firmly and her body couldn't get any more pressed into me as she practically ground her pelvis into my swelling crotch as one of hers leg wrapped around mine.

When she started to pull away, I could sense she was coming in for her peck on the cheek as had been our date night ritual, so I turned my face to the side for her, but instead she grabbed my face and turned my to her and gave me a not-so-chaste kiss on my lips. When the kiss ended, she smiled and whispered, but I was sure it was loud enough for Maria who was standing beside me to hear, "It's okay from now on to kiss me on the lips." She looked to Maria and smiled and winked at her. I immediately knew that Maria had told her about my refusal to kiss her on our 'dates' because of my love for Max and respect for their marriage.

But now beginning on this day, I felt the three of us were starting a new dynamic. Without really thinking, but with her 'It's okay' still bouncing around in my mind, I quickly took her face, much like she had done to me, and I kissed her. This kiss was even firmer and with more passion than our first one had been. No tongues or anything, but it was definitely more than kiss between friends.

As I pulled away, I realized that I had been swept up in the moment and forgotten about Maria being right there. A panic came across me. That was gone almost immediately when Jane swept in and grabbed Maria and kissed her with the same fervor and passion just like I had kissed her. When it ended, there was a stunned, breathless silence among all of us surrounding all the kisses. No shame, no regrets, just everyone trying to process what had just happened.

Time stood still. Not a word was said as we looked at each other. Even though the moment was brief, it was intense. Then Jane smiled brightly and turned to leave without a word from any of us. Upon her exit she proclaimed to no one and yet to everyone with a bit of a chuckle, "Enjoy every moment to the fullest." It looked like we may have another new motto.

The door had barely closed when Maria and I turned to each other. Again, I had trouble reading her but somewhere in her eyes I saw a little bit of the fire that had been missing for so long. I took her face in my hands and kissed her deeply. Then I grabbed her hand and pulled her up the stairs to our bedroom. As we entered, I turned her to me and fiercely kissed her again and again and again. I felt her tension and distance fade under my oral assault.

Our mouths opened and our tongues dueled as we began to remove each other's clothes. We had pushed each other's shirts off and I had removed her bra before we worked on each other's shorts, all the while trying to maintain our lip and tongue contact. It wasn't going to work, so I backed her up to the bed, stopped my kisses, and pushed her down until she was sitting on the edge of the bed. Her chest was heaving slightly, and her nipples looked harder and longer than I had seen them in a while. Her eyes were closed as I wondered what she was thinking about.

Dropping to my knees, I reached to her hips and rapidly pulled off her shorts and underwear in one fell swoop. I spread her legs, exposing her puffy pussy glistening with moisture. My fingers went to her nipples to start rubbing, pulling, twisting, at the same time as I buried my face into her crotch and began lapping up her sweet nectar as my oral assault had now moved from the lips and oral cavity on her face to the lips and vaginal chasm between her thighs. The memory of the first time we made love, after the concert, flooded back into my mind.

"Ugh... oh shit... oh fuck" flowed from my Maria followed by a litany of groans and grunts and moans. There was a flame within her still. Maybe not as strong as it used to be, but I was hoping I could fan it with my lovemaking skills. I wanted her to return to the looks she gave me that first time all those years ago.

She tasted so sweet, despite the chlorine from the pool, that I tried to lick every drop I could from the bottom of her slit to her clit. Her labia were so engorged that I also began to nibble on the puffy skin and the inside of her thighs. I was trying to drive her crazy and her body seemed to catch her unprepared as she began a series of mini orgasms which further increased her flow of fluid which I drank in like a thirsty desert wanderer.

She decided she needed to lay down on the bed, so I took the opportunity to put her legs over my shoulders and extend my ministrations to her perinium as well as rimming her sphincter, occasionally darting the tip of my tongue into her asshole. She now started to play lightly with her breasts, and I took her legs off my shoulders to stretch them open as wide as I could, further opening her enflamed pink core. I took a moment to gaze at the vision of it in front of me as I stuck a finger into her ass eliciting both a series of expletives from her mouth and mini orgasmic tremors from her core.

Her pussy was an amazing sight. Such a contrast of silky-smooth pinkish skin in the middle surrounded by folds and flaps of dark swollen flesh in the shape of lips. It looked good enough to eat and that's just I did. I dove back into her obscenely parted thighs and drove my tongue into her as far as I could before unleashing a steady series of licks. All the while, my finger was violating her anus and the thumb on my other hand strum her clit. It wasn't long before her back arched, she screamed, and a gush of fluid coated my tongue and I began slurping it down my throat. She wasn't a squirter, but she could excrete a lot of liquid given the right stimulation and it appeared I had successfully stimulated her womanhood.

She could take it anymore and flung her legs shut. Luckily, she had pushed my head away at the same time so as not to crush it with her thighs. I knelt back and watched her quiver through her extended orgasm. It was a sight to see. Her eyes were still squeezed shut tightly and her mouth was gaping open as her legs shook, her toes curled, her belly trembled, and her tits and nipples heaved and shuddered.

It took a minute or two before her eyes opened, but when she did, she had me arise in front of her and she pulled down my shorts and boxers as one. I stepped out of them with my pole at half-mast. In a painstaking slow manner and without a word and without looking at me, she licked my meat from my balls to the precum covered hole, before sucking and then nibbling at my crown.

I groaned in approval and arousal, as the blood pumped at a lightning quick pace expanding and hardening me in record time. She stopped her nibbling seemingly consumed in her own world of thoughts. She ran her tongue around my head several times, before stopping and leaving the tip of her tongue on my hole. I gazed down at her. Her luscious nude body was in the background of her open mouth. Her tongue was fully extended and just the tip of it on the tip of my fully erect mast. I may have been the hardest I had ever been in my life. She held that pose still appearing to be lost somewhere in her mind. I so wished my phone was nearby as I wanted to capture the most erotic sight of her that I had ever witnessed. My mind did take a snapshot that is forever burned into my memory.

Then in a flash she engulfed all 7 plus inches of me into her mouth and throat. In what had started out as a tortuously slow but oh so tantalizing tease was now an all-out assault as she devoured me with rapid bobs of her mouth while her tongue worked me over as well from top to bottom. She concentrated on consuming every inch of my prick.

The fervor of attack was bringing me to an all too quick peak, so after holding on as long as I could I reluctantly pushed her back, grabbed her legs simultaneously lifting them, spreading them, and lunging my body between them and then launching my hot missile into her equally hot and very moist tunnel.

"AH!", we both exclaimed as my pelvis smacked into hers as I was buried as deep as I go. Trying as hard as I could pulling her into me by her hips, I tried to put more of me into her but there was nothing left that wasn't already in her convulsing cavern. I stopped trying and stared down at my sexy Maria who I loved with all my heart.

As my eyes rose from where I was fully embedded in her dark folds, they took in her womanly hips, then travelled along her flat belly past her cute bellybutton to the underside of her small but perfectly shaped tits. Her areolas were enlarged with sexual excitement and her nipples standing at full attention rising over an inch above her breasts. Her neck was fully exposed as her head was arched backed as she took in the satisfying fullness from my stabbing deeply into her hole.

Her hair was strewn around framing her beautiful face with its dainty nose and panting mouth. As I took every inch of her in, she slowly let her eyes fall open. They were still glazed over as I mouthed "I love you!" which brought tears to them.

I stayed towering over standing at the side of the bed, but I let her long, luscious legs fall down and drape over side of the bed as I began a steady round of long, slow stokes. As I withdrew inch by inch, her labia would pull out and open, exposing the coating of fluid she was producing, and then just before I was fully withdrawn, I would reverse course and start to push back into her, pulling part of her generous pussy lips back in with me.

I continued this slow, piston-like action as I moaned. Maria's eyes had reclosed, and she was rubbing her chest and pinching, twisting, and pulling her hard nipples so much it was almost as if she was trying to hurt herself as I held onto her hips. Given my heightened arousal from before, our lack of consistent lovemaking leading to a release lately, and the beauty and erotism of my soulmate below me, I knew that despite my best efforts our lovemaking session was leading to an early explosion.

So, I withdrew fully, lifted her fully on the bed, laid down beside her, before grabbing her waist and rolling her on top of me as I rolled onto my back. Cowboy style was one of her favorite positions and rarely failed to produce an orgasm from her. She rose up from my chest and onto her knees, grabbed my sensitive tool and guided it to her love nest. She started her decent, groaning and throwing her head back. She looked so sensual as she began to ride me. Her display along with the gyration of her pelvis around my pole caused my loins to start to stir. I wanted us to peak together and her release to be a full one, so the thumb of my left hand began to rub her swollen clit, while my right hand went to maul her breasts and pull and twist her nubs just the way she liked.

It was working as her moans and groans grew, until she reached the point of no return. With a huge grunt, "UHHHH!", her eyes shot open. Finally, my aching balls and pole got the release that I had worked so hard to keep from them. Shot after shot after shot flooded Maria's cavity, while her woman cum soaked our crotches, spreading to our thighs and down to my balls and asshole, as my hips thrust up into her in rhythm with her pelvis pounding down into mine. I worried for a second about how she might be bruising her nether regions, but she didn't care. Again, it was so intense it was almost as if she was trying to hurt herself.

Just as I was in the middle of a series of dry pumps from my spent cock and balls, she froze and let out a toe curling, "AHHHHHH!!!!" Again, she looked like her body had surprised her and her eyes finally left mine, gazing out into the distance before rolling up into her head before shutting. She collapsed onto my chest with my ever so slowly softening prick still inside her cum-soaked vagina.

"Thank you! That was amazing! YOU were amazing! A woman possessed. I love you. Always have been since we first met," I whispered into her ear with all the sincerity I felt, as I caught my breath and stroked and smoothed her hair on her head which laid on my shoulder.

Her panting began to slow before she gasped as my spent and soft penis slipped out of her abused slit. She finally replied but her voice had a bit of a sullen tone "I love you too! I am sorry I haven't been there for you for some time now. You are my world and I just haven't been there for us for a while." Any care-free happiness there may have been in our lovemaking seemed to be drifting away and already there was some distance creeping back into Maria as I felt a few tears run down onto my shoulder.

"Don't ever be sorry for that. We are a team... we are one, and it has been a tough time in a lot ways. We got through it and we will do what it takes to keep our love strong. Sex doesn't define us or our relationship. So, whatever our sex life is like as we grow old together, we will work it out together."

"I hope you can continue to love me. I don't deserve you. And you don't deserve the way I have been, both in and out of bed. As for the sex, it might not define us, but it has always been an important part of lives. It provides us a different type of closeness that we can't get in other ways, but with everything that has happened and with my hormones, I have been depriving you of that closeness. I haven't been able to will my mind and body to the level of sexual desire like I used to have and you deserve. You have been so patient. I can never tell you how much that has meant to me. I feared your frustrations with me, my frustrations with myself, and my actions would pull us apart."

"I took a vow to love you for the rest of our lives and that love has never wavered. Yes, I got frustrated at times, but it was never with you. It was with the situation and what your body was doing to that part of you. You have always been a sexual being and still are extremely sexy to me." Just then the picture of her that I had snapped earlier with my mind came into my thoughts. "In fact, tonight the seductive sight of you with the edge of your tongue on the edge of my cock was about as sexy of an image as I have ever seen. It has been tearing me apart, not only for me but just as much if not more for you, that your desire has been waning. You used to love showing off, being nasty, and sexy. It gave you great pleasure and confidence being a seductress -- you never had any trouble seducing me."

"I am glad you liked it," was her only response as her head stayed on my shoulder.

"I loved it. Everything you did tonight was wonderful from your kiss with Jane to your orgasm. The sexual side of you is still in there, we will just work harder to get it going again. And if we don't, I will still love you as much as ever. You were close to being back at times but then would withdraw again."

She chose to ignore that last part, saying in almost a monotone voice, "I loved your passionate kiss with Jane. You know she has been wanting to kiss you since the two of you started 'dating'. She was waiting for you to kiss her and even asked me why you weren't even trying. She thought you weren't attracted to her, or you didn't want to betray me. But when I told her that you were very attracted to her and I encouraged you to kiss her, but you refused out of respect for their marriage and your love for Max, and that you didn't want to take advantage of her at a vulnerable time, she started bawling. She thought that was the sweetest thing anyone other than Max had ever done for her. It made her want to kiss you more, but it also made her value you and your friendship even more. So, she never tried to push you, but she did fall more in love with you."

"In love with me?"

"Yes, in her own way she loves you very much. You have a special place in her heart just like you do in mine," she replied without emotion.

Again, I couldn't read her. I didn't know if she was jealous, mad, sad, or what. Maybe her hormones were still just out of whack, but I could tell she didn't want to talk about it as she pulled my face to hers and gave me a tender kiss. As I looked at her after the kiss, I saw the sadness and distance had returned in full force. I opened my mouth to ask her about it, but she put a finger to my lips before I could get anything out and then she laid her head back on my shoulder and drifted to sleep. Her private parts and thighs were covered in the juices of our lovemaking, but her heart was cloaked by something else that I couldn't figure out and she did not want to talk about.