Last Exit Ch. 03

Author's Note: This is the third entry of "Last Exit", a four part series. Content warning, this chapter includes consensual non-consent, breath play, knife play, and more. Much like the prior chapter, this entry lurches closer to horror at times. Please observe the category this story is placed in, as well as the additional tags. Enjoy, and as always thank you so much for your support!

Last Exit- Chapter 3

Sophia closed her eyes as the hot water ran down her body, the shower head leaking as it sprayed against the curtain. She remembered her and Jake's honeymoon, they went camping just outside town. After a short hike, they set up their tent, no winds, just the stillness of the world. A single star visible, piercing the void. Sophia felt it a sign from something more, a force greater than them. As she pointed above, Jake didn't share the same sentiment, but loved her, as he always had.

In the tent, they held each other tenderly, her head against his chest, the place where she felt safest, she held his waist, and slid her hand atop his belt buckle. She spoke.

"I know I've asked but..."

He chuckled.

"Babygirl you ain't got to ask for that."

"No no, umm, about a family."

Jake held her closer. He kissed the top of her head as the forest around them stilled. He ran his fingers across the delicate nape of her neck, her necklace with faded cross a part of her, never to be taken off. When he spoke his voice was unusually vulnerable.

"You know what my mama said to me once?"

"Hmm?"

"She said to me, "that you ain't ever gotta have kids, if you ain't had the chance to be one". Always stuck with me."

"Why did she tell you that?"

"Cuz I didn't have the chance, neither did you babygirl. I ain't the father type."

"I think you would be a great dad."

"Thank ya. I think you'd be a good mama too. But, that ain't for us. We don't gotta talk no more. We can just be."

He kissed her, they made love that night. He was gentle and caring. He made her moan softly in delight, her voice the only eminent sound in the forest.

As she turned off the shower, the swirling mass of memories and hopes collided with the recognition of where she was, where they were, a one bedroom apartment, no car, no savings, his family across the country, hers aloof at best. No support. It was no place for a family, it was barely a place for them.

Sophia sat down in the shower, hair clumped, body damp. Her disdain mounting for where she was, where she had been, where she could never be. She dragged the razor, pressing down hard across her inner thigh, catching her skin within, the feeling of release, of tension bled away with her wound. Her hand found her throat, tightening, back against the shower wall, eyes closed, she was no longer able to see herself, Jake's gentle eyes, or the haunting stare of Fin. She felt only her own hand, bringing her to pleasure as it stifled the past, until it couldn't any longer. She kicked her feet against the tile, her own moment of bliss eluding her, her eyes opened and her hand slackened.

Sophia thought as she watched her blood drain, how afraid she was to die. She wondered where she would go, she knew she would not be welcomed at the gates, St. Peter would not take her hands, just offer an idle dismissal. Maybe she would be a ghost, maybe she would burn, she was terrified at the notion, that if she were sent below, how much she would enjoy it for all eternity, it would be a reward, not a punishment. She wondered if God had ever thought of that, thought of people like her, those shunned without forgiveness, by their own design. She wondered if she should ask Father Sean next time she attended mass. She decided like many other things she would keep it tucked inside, expressed and released with each blade, candle, choke or bruise in solitude.

She knew that every martyr knew temptation, and often sacrificed themselves to negate it. She was only tempted by the loss of her guilt, to be free and whole at the hands of anyone, or anything. Resuming her hand against her throat, her other trailed up her thighs as she slouched, she found her center, and moved her nails along her hood, finding her clit as her cheeks reddened with heat. She closed her eyes needing the past to feel the present, a hunger that could never be satiated, a guilt that hurt as much as it inflicted pleasure.

As her mind wandered, her fingers ceaseless, her breath came in ragged gasps. Her pleasure mounted, remembering fondly the first time she was choked, her old professor did it without permission, she could remember his hands wrapping strongly around her throat, his length thrusting deep inside her from behind, the desk shaking, his wedding ring cold against her throat, she saw the photo of his wife and family on his desk, and put her pleasure above any impediment of morality. She thought after all, he loved her. He was the first man who ever made her cum, she wrote about him frequently, convinced that he truly loved her. He didn't. She was nothing more than a free hole to him. As her fingers rolled against herself, she bit her lip, her feet scraping against the slick, faded, and cracked tile. She chased, her grip tightened, her ministrations turned to rapid descents against herself, growing slicker, wetter, her head slamming back against the shower wall. As she grew closer, she could only feel Fin's hand against her throat.

She ceased, eyes opened, in a panic, haunted, yearning. Austin meowed in the doorway. She knew, that since Fin had entered her life again, a persistent sense of unease continued to grow. Not only were her days often spent near him, but now when she closed her eyes he was there, when she turned every corner of their small apartment, she wondered if he somehow saw her.

As she dressed and fed Austin, she stared at the bookshelf, where the yearbook sat. It called to her less, and less, the past was here, manifested in Fin. She had tried to make amends, spoke true, offered an apology to what had she did to him all those years ago. He had accepted her with grace. Sophia had no no proof of his actual feelings. She couldn't sense anything from, no truth, no absolutes. She wanted to be brave, wanted a future with Jake. Just them, no more dead end jobs, somewhere quiet, away from all they hated.

Sophia took the yearbook and threw it in the trash. All these she smiled with, laughed alongside, and laughed as they ruined others around them, were gone. Now, only her and Fin remained, he stared at her everyday, spoke to her, touched her, and in the darkest realms of her heart, she still felt she deserved it, the torture of his kindness. As she looked at the yearbook sitting on top of a can of emptied cat food, she reached for it, and pulled her hand back.

The door opened, Jake gently pushing Austin back with his foot, his arms full of groceries. He kissed Sophia on the cheek, and set the groceries down. He turned and noticed the missing yearbook on the shelf. He cocked his head to the side before he spoke.

"Ayy, what happened to the book? Ya move it babygirl?"

She shook her head, still feeling the ache of its loss.

"No. I umm threw it away."

Jake's eyes widened.

"What? You shittin' me?"

She shook her head.

"Holy shit babygirl I'm so damn proud of you. What brought this on?"

"I don't know."

***

That night Sophia worked a short shift. On break, she spoke to Ashlee, the pungent scent of tobacco hovered around her, Sophia watching as Ashlee leaned back against the wall, cowboy boots heavy on the floor, her red cheeks and brown eyes, arresting attention from her body. Ashlee tapped the cigarette pack in her hand, looking towards the entrance of the place she had grown to hate the most. Her voice was tinged with harshness when she spoke, from years of indulgent smoking.

"Hey Soph. Be glad, it ain't Thursday, which mean, no Eli."

Sophia offered a weak smile, always weary of Ashlee, never threatened, but unable to discard the relationship she had with Jake and his brother Isaac long ago. Sophia looked through the door as a customer entered, and saw Fin behind the bar, offering a wave and a smile to her, which she reluctantly returned. Ashlee took out a cigarette held between her fingers, lit it and handed it to Sophia..

"Soph, this one on me, been a hot minute since we share some time, right?"

To escape Fin's eyes, she stood beside Ashlee, the entrance obscuring them both. Sophia quickly inhaled the cigarette, a deep drag, gazing out at the empty and lonely road, only for a semi truck to throttle through, crushing beneath it the silence that fell around them. She cleared her throat and turned to Ashlee.

"So, how has it been? Umm, I mean just in general."

"You so nervous Soph, relax, ain't no reason for ya to be that way. Is' ok. Let's see, what's new in my piece o' shit life? Ain't got no man still. Ain't no man worth a damn anyways. Dancing on the weekends downtown at Malone's. Making some extra money in my boot."

"That's nice. Umm do you like it?"

"Got more creeps than ya can handle, ain't starved for that, starved for good dick tho."

Ashlee chuckled before she continued.

"Seen Eli in twice already, mutha-fucka behave even worse, throwing dollar bills up on me. Hand to God, I hate that rat fuck."

"Yeah, me too."

Sophia took another drag, Ashlee returned the action, both of them stayed in silence for far too long. Sophia put her cigarette out on the bottom of her high tops.

"Gotta go Ashlee. Have a good one."

"You too Soph."

With that, they parted ways, never friends, never enemies, barely even existing in each other's lives, both of them knowing exactly why.

As Sophia walked back inside, Fin passed her, his hand on the small of her back, fingers clenching, she froze, coldness grasping at her legs, numbness at her fingers, rooted in place until he turned, his voice dismissing the hold he had on her.

"Sorry Sophia, I had to get by. Hey you know, I was thinking the other day..."

"Oh? Umm what about?"

She began to pray silently it wasn't about their past, and she knew it would be. He crossed his arms, veins strained under his pale flesh. He spoke.

"Hey, remember Sadie from our class?"

"Yeah, she was nice. I miss her."

"You know she moved back around two years ago? I saw her around town. Anyways, I caught up with her later, she was doing well. Haven't seen her since. I asked around, no one else has either."

"Oh that's a shame, umm I really liked her."

"Yeah she was in your circle right? She looked really similar to you, like you could have been sisters."

"Yeah. She dated Carlos for a long time, before I did."

"Gotta get back to it. Talk soon."

Fin walked into the back and Sophia turned on her heel, finding any faith and bravery that remained to face the night ahead. As she gave pause to every shadow behind her, she focused on every customer, to absorb herself in any life other than hers. When it was over, she made her way back home, looking over her shoulder with almost every step.

Inside the apartment, Sophia sat down at their table, Jake had cooked a pot of chili. She was delighted to have a warm meal after the chill and gloom began to clutch at the air from her walk back. She looked at Jake and spoke, wearily.

"I talked with Fin the other day. Umm I don't mean the other day, but you know, relatively close. I mean... really talked."

He nodded and placed his spoon down, he wanted to give Fin a chance, he seemed kind, like his father, but Jake knew the weight of what had happened, he saw it carved into Sophia's thighs and hands constantly.

"How did it go? Didn't get a chance to ask you babygirl."

"Yeah. He was really nice tonight, he has been the whole past two weeks, I feel horrible though."

"Ain't no need babygirl, if he was kind, and been kind, he probably let go of that time. He can do it, so can you."

She wanted to believe every word he said spoke from his heart, she had heard so many others tell her the same. She could let go. She wouldn't. She knew better, as she stood on trial for her past, every day, seeing it all in Fin's empty expression. He was hiding something, always, she saw it. She took a bite, and set her spoon down, appetite fading, as she felt the embarrassment of her body again. Her voice was worn as she spoke.

"I just, wonder if Fin's being truthful."

"You afraid he lying? I'm gon' be honest, me too. We both got a job there, we got bills, we gettin' by, but barely. You ain't wrong to be afraid."

"Yeah that's exactly what I mean. If he's lying to me, or us, than I feel scared."

"We cain't do nothing bout it. I'm with you, but maybe we gotta place some trust, somewhere, in anyone other than us."

She nodded.

"He gets too close."

"What you mean?"

"He just brushes past me without a word, sometimes I'd go to grab a bottle and find him behind me."

"How you feel bout it?"

"I don't know."

That night as they readied for bed, Sophia received a text from Fin, with a photo attached. She opened and read it, fingers shaking all the while.

"Hey, I was thinking about when I mentioned Sadie earlier. I was going through some old boxes, and I found this photo of you from back in the day."

She didn't recognize it, couldn't place it, she wasn't looking at the camera, it looked like she was talking to Carlos. She texted back.

"I don't recognize this, where did you find it?"

"Someone gave it to me. Maybe Sadie."

"Why would she have that?"

"Well she was the photographer for the yearbook right?"

"I guess. It's weird she never showed me this. Why did she give it to you?"

"Oh she didn't. Someone else did."

"Who?"

"Forgot their name."

He never explained where he got it, even after she asked in text for the second time.

Sophia set her phone down and felt a wave of coldness blended with panic, she sat upright, back against the headboard and tried to breathe. Jake slid into bed, Austin curled at their feet. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"Fin be texting you? Work?"

"He was umm, talking about Sadie."

"Sadie? Ain't never heard of her. She one of yo friends, back in the day?"

"Yeah, we were close. Just lost touch, but I would have loved to have seen her again."

"Look her up babygirl. Sure she round' somewhere."

"I did. I couldn't find anything. I guess it's all private or maybe she just didn't have any socials."

"Better that way. How I try to be."

"Yeah. I know."

"Fin say where she went? Maybe he got a number or somethin'."

"No, he didn't. Didn't seem too concerned."

"Well maybe it's for the best. Don't need more of the past."

"Yeah. Just seems, odd."

"What?"

"Sadie. She said she would never, ever come back unless it was an emergency. And I mean we haven't umm spoke in nearly ten years. I just wonder what happened."

"We might never know. Sometimes, it's best that way."

That night, before Sophia slept, she remembered, Just after she had started dating Jake, she had gotten in touch with Caleb, her former college classmate, and last victim, whose life she damaged beyond repair when she had his girlfriend passed around as a party favor at a frat house. Caleb was the last person Sophia reached to, to make things right. He agreed to meet her. It was at a bar, she made an attempt to show him, how much she cared, how she was remorseful.

Which is why that night, Caleb took her back to his car, moved to the backseat, took off his wedding ring, and fucked her. There was nothing secretive about their coupling, sealing himself inside her, sawing mercilessly into her. He was never fatigued, Sophia felt him in her depths, feeling him tremble as her thighs jiggled, ankles over his shoulders, the car visibly shaking. As she whimpered, appalled at her pleasure, as he came silently, leaving her to the same fate as his girlfriend all those years ago. As his cock deserted her, he left a copious deposit. He kicked her out of the car, and sped off, leaving her half naked on the street, covered in shame, and while she wept, she felt another piece of the burden of her past lifted.

These were the things she never told Jake, the things she hoped he would never know, just like the legacy of violence he never told her about, them both hoping they would hold onto those secrets, forever.

***

Three weeks of passed, everyday exactly the same, every night Fin remained a fixture, always around Sophia. It was Thursday again. Jake rose from a mid day nap, to start his long walk. He kissed Sophia goodbye, as he parted, he felt her teeth nibble at his lips. He wanted more than anything to stay, she sensed it and took action without words, she wanted him, needed him, his touch to distract, to ground her in the present, to take away her wandering thoughts of what she had done.

Her eyes were a heated glare, coaxing him with seduction that rarely emerged. He disrobed and climbed into bed with a lust that matched hers, she had been quick to throw her clothes on the floor, no shame, no guilt, open, wanting him to see every inch of her in the fast fading mid day light.

Sophia soon felt Jake's arm around her waist, she always cherished the contrast of their skin tones, she felt his lips on her neck. He breathed her natural scent in, subdued, the smell before rain. Sophia reached behind her, finding his stiffening cock, responsive to the slightest touch, it grew in her hands, she bit her lip, her fingers generously and feverishly sliding over his crown, she turned and kissed him, her septum ring glanced over his nose, they both smiled against each other's lips, as her hand stroked his endowment.

She dragged her long black nail down his chest, making sure he was flat on his back, turning over and licking down his chest swiftly, her tongue stud depressed across his abdomen, smooth and warm, she was behaving unlike anything he'd ever seen before, she triumphantly slid down, thighs trembling as she signaled her intentions, to offer Jake one of his favorite positions. He adored it because of how she looked, reckless, confident, possessed.

He tilted his head to watch, taking in the entire sight of her thick flared hips upright, her aggressive curves pulling her frame into an abundant and supple form, she pressed her ample tits against his shaft, together at the base, easily enveloping his cock.

"Fuck you serious?"

She nodded, her plump lips parted as she began sucking his cock, whimpering, worshiping, slurping, sucking the broad purple cockhead that emerged out of her vast cleavage as her fervent arousal chained his eyes to hers.

"Jesus girl, where the fuck..."

Sophia flicked her tongue stud against his shaft, breathed heavily and spit as she went down again, her silken cleavage latticed and glossed in his precum, she rubbed and drove her tits over his cock, each movement towards allowing her to buff his crown with her long pink tongue, her thighs rubbed together in her anticipation, concentrated and eager.

She rubbed her hand down his flat stomach. She spoke, husky and rich, her lips covered in drool, strands hung loosely down her chin, bound to him.

"Pull my hair... hard."

Jake was enamored as teased her tongue along his length. She grabbed his hand forcibly and ran it across her cheek as she pressed his cock back in her mouth, letting him feel the bulge of him claiming her mouth. She mumbled, eyes never daring to leave his, her spell of need evident.

"Plehsse"

Her tits pressed together firmer as she spit back over his cock, the wad trailing down to wet his coarse, pubic hair. Jake's hand rose to her scalp, grabbing a fistful of hair and pulling. She wanted more, needed it, anything to banish her thoughts. With him still in her mouth she spoke.

"Hardddehr"

Jake saw her hand slide between her thick thighs, nails scratching down her softness in dull red lines, as she slid them over her hood, and found her clit, moaning against his shaft, every vibration and hum producing a wave of pleasure. Jake clenched his fist and pulled harder, jerking her head to the side, her lips popping off as she opened her mouth, her face drunk off his cock with passion he had never seen from her. Yet her eyes remained on the precipice of tears, as she spoke with a fire in her voice.

"Harder. Please. I want you to fucking ruin me."

Jake winced, it was hard to resist, hard to hear, he wanted to show her his love but also give her what she wanted, what she thought she deserved. He hesitated, he had seen her countless times like this, he wondered why there couldn't just be love and nothing more, why either of their pasts needed to be evoked between their bodies and hearts. Her eyes looked at his, hazel plates that stirred and stored grief alongside lust, as she begged.

"Please Jake..."

He pulled harder, lurching towards absolute violence, as she pulled her head to the side as she struggled.

Against his tightening grip, she pushed her tits back around him, her lips barely gracing his crown anymore, as he pulled further, her resistance weakened as she grasped at this wrist, and climbed over top of him. She ripped her self free, strands of hair pulled from her reddened scalp, and hovered above his waist, giving him all of her, as she held his length straight up, stroking it with both hands until she rested her pale hands on his chest, lowering herself, feeling her lips part, his cock fully inside her, he moaned through his teeth, as she leaned down, her heavy bust across his chest, her voice was slurred with lust.

"I want you to rip me apart."

She grabbed his hands and moved one around her neck, and another around her tits.

"Choke me. Hit me."

He hesitated again, discomfort already causing his mind to wander. She began slamming her ass down, her cheeks and subtle rolls highlighted her efforts.

"Please..."

He would no longer hesitate; his hand tightened across her throat, his hand mauled at her tits, pulling, slapping, leaving deep red imprints.

"My face... please."

He steeled himself as he slapped her face, her voice fracturing, her cunt clutching, tighter with need.

She wrapped her hands around the back of Jake's head, fingers digging into his braids as her breath raced, a flurry of sensual panic arresting her, speaking between shuddered moans and long drawn whimpers.

"Please don't pull out, my cycle is fine... l fucking need you so bad."

He couldn't stop, there was no way to go back, he would yield, the moment too raw, too powerful, his head hazed with a fog of raw desire and need, trapping him as he grabbed her hips hard enough to bruise. She screamed, he released, thick ropes of cum filling her, splashing against her cervix, pushing, she felt her voice stifle as his cock continued to spasm inside her, her eyes rolling back

They laid there, his slowly softening cock still twitching. She rubbed her hand on the back of his head. They stayed silent, the only sound their heartbeats, until she spoke.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Oh no! Shit, you gotta work."

"Fuck. God damn it."

With determined speed, Jake dressed, kissed her deeply, still smelling of musk and sex, and set off. Same walk. Same path. Same thoughts, except for what had just happened, he wanted to pay no heed to their risk, as he felt his own nerves heighten at the thought of pregnancy lingering at the back of his head. Yet, they had each other, that feeling, that love, he felt a smile creep across his face, feeling that everything would be ok no matter what. It always was, they had always made it, and he never felt closer to her.

***

Jake realized as he was halfway through his shift, it was Thursday, which could only mean one thing. Eli.

Jake sighed as Eli took his familiar stool, worn with his own imprint, an extension of himself. He always drank the same beer, Jake knew all too well, as he slid the brown bottle to Eli, and with it in his hand, spoke.

"Hey, ya know what be going on with ya wife right?"

Jake crossed his arms, fists tightening, his voice barely hiding his anger.

"What the fuck did you jus' say?"

Eli chuckled, tipping his bottle back.

"I see the way... what be his name? Fin. Fucking stupid name, I told em that. Gave me a look like he'd stab me. Nice guy my ass. Anyways, the way he look at her, he gon' take her, and ya ain't even gonna know."

"Eli, you crossin' lines. I will beat you within an inch of your life, you rotten mother fucker."

Eli shrugged. For the first time in years, he tried adjusting his abrasive tone.

"I don't like ya, ain't never have. Ya always got dat luck with women, like Ashlee, jeez brotha. Ya let that fine piece of ass go, she got them dick sucking lips. Ya ever seen her dance at Malone's? Shiiit she got fine ass titties. Gravity be winnin' tho. But, I know ya love... Sophia, but, she look right at Fin, I see her eyes, she driftin'."

Jake looked both ways to ensure Fin wasn't around. He got in Eli's face and whispered menacingly.

"She don't want nothing to do with him."

"How ya be so sure? I can tell, I know a woman when they make them eyes, it start simple, than she on her knees sucking his-"

"Eli, you testin' me. You ain't ever known a woman. Least not a real one. Or one you didn't pay for."

"I'm jus' saying, watch her. It might not even be her, might be him. Which is worse. Sometimes, man jus' take another woman, don't even need words, just do it."

"Shows you don't know Sophia at all, and you don't know shit about women."

"Maybe you don't know her either, shit that's why women only good for pussy, ain't trust em, ever."

"Shut the fuck up Eli. Why are you telling me this?"

"Cuz. I can."

"I don't even like you Eli. Ain't no one like you, only thing you do round here is cause us grief, ain't a week go by, you don't harass somebody."

"If I wasn't here, ya would miss me, admit it."

"I wouldn't miss you Eli if god himself struck you down right fucking now."

"Go fuck yaself."

"Nah man, right back at ya."

Eli tipped his bottle back, draining it, as Jake served him another. Eli's face was unusually stern, as if offended, he exhaled, and spoke.

"I still remember, what you did to ya blood, Issac."

"Don't bring it up."

"Jus sayin' I know what ya done to those who wronged ya, got them ole crooked knuckles for a reason. Got ya dented brow for a reason. Don't forget I was there that night when ya-"

"Eli. Shut. The. Fuck. Up."

"Man, you ain't see I tryin' to reason wit ya? Ain't trying to see that ya in a bad place and old Eli jus tryin' to help?"

"You never helped anyone, cept' yourself. Now, don't talk about Issac ever again.

Jake knew. Better than anyone, the legacy of violence that was long in his past. A propensity that he was ashamed of, kept closely guarded, chained, always worrying it would emerge. He knew why, the anger that laid below. Could still feel his father's fists on his brow, still see the bruises on his brother's cheek, still remembered the taste of blood when him and Issac both fought their father, twenty years of abuse too long, eventually watching their father die slowly on a respirator, and both of them feeling nothing, glad they were never caught, glad they were the only ones to know what happened, and how relieved they were that his reign over them was gone by their own hands.

As Jake watched Eli fall silent, an action Jake thought impossible for the miserable old man, he wondered if there was any truth in what he spoke. As he prepared to ask, Fin clapped Jake on the shoulder, nodding towards Eli, speaking softly towards Jake.

"Hey man, how's it going?"

"Good, jus' about to do a register count, we should be good."

"That's great. Haven't been over or under for a long while. Just a testament to everyone's efforts. Hey, this Thursday I'm having a BBQ, down at the park, they got a simple grill, but it would be nice to see everyone outside of work. Gonna close early that day. You and Sophia gonna make it?"

After Eli's words, Jake couldn't help his tone becoming harsher and terse.

"Yeah, yeah I sure we can make it. Want us to bring somethin'? Hate show in' up empty handed, my mama raised me better."

"Just bring yourselves."

His smile made Jake sick, unsure if it was Eli's words that poisoned it, or something else Jake saw, that he hadn't before.

***

Sophia and Jake hesitantly went to the BBQ, most of Last Exit's staff was there, except Ashlee. Jake found it odd, Ashlee told him that she had planned to be there, insisting she would bring her shrimp and grits, a storied family dish she claimed was unique, secretive in her ingredients, in truth the only thing that separated it from any other, was that she cared when she made it. Sophia was equally unsure as to why Ashlee didn't show.

As Fin finished cooking a full chicken, he withdrew a fixed single edge knife, it's edge stout, a three inch blade, it's color an oxidized black, as he drew up across the chicken, between ribs and wings, legs and thigh, the loud cracking sound of it's bones peeled and broken away by the blade was jarring, as Sophia and Jake watched Fin, it was a demonstration of muscle memory, every movement of the blade effortless.

The rest of the BBQ should been a moment of bonding, of relaxation, but there was nothing except boredom. Outside of work, there was very little that anyone had in common. Yet everyone still made small talk and observations. As Sophia ate in silence, Eli's words crept back into Jake's mind. He observed it, every couple seconds Fin stared at Sophia, steadied and possessive. He would walk past in certain intervals, always asking if she needed more to drink, prioritizing her before anyone else. As Fin headed back to the grill, Jake stood and followed, stood beside him and spoke.

"Hey man, I ain't trying to cause a scene but, I'm gonna ask you to just give Sophia some space."

Fin looked at him, puzzled, a look of concern straining his face. He spoke softly as he placed his hand on Jake's shoulder softly.

"I'm so sorry buddy, I don't follow."

Jake stepped back, letting Fin's hand slide away, speaking as he moved back.

"It's one thing if we at work and you gotta speak with her, but you making her nervous. She still unsure of you, as am I. Don't mean no offense."

"Jake, you know, I'm really sorry. I think this is just a misunderstanding really-"

Jake immediately cut him off, his tone struggling to conceal his anger, as to not jeopardize their jobs, their life. He didn't want to go back to logging, he didn't want to reopen all those old wounds.

"Fin, I respect you, as a man, as a boss, you're good like your father, but she don't always have the courage she need, she cain't always find the words. You know?"

"I understand. You know, you're right. I guess, from my perspective it's just nice to reconnect with someone you knew, see how we've all grown and changed. Let go of it all. But I can see how that could be painful."

"I know. I believe you. I ain't even trying to confront you. Don't be mistaken."

Fin nodded before he spoke assuredly.

"You know, Jake. I really am sorry. I see just how much you love her. You know, I don't open up much, but it's not easy for me either, being around her."

The moment of tension seemed over as Fin spoke again.

"I gotta start cleaning up, saying goodbyes. Thank you for coming. I'll see you Monday, alright?"

Jake nodded, sighing as he scratched the back of his head. He said what he needed to say to Fin, he realized that there were mistakes that couldn't be undone. There was no going back for either Sophia or Fin, but Jake couldn't see how they all moved forward either.

***

The next morning, Sophia rose, Jake never told her about the conversation he held with Fin at the BBQ. After what they had shared in bed, he didn't want to rouse her anxiety. It was the day of receiving new shipments of spirits and kegs, and cleaning before the weekend madness. She was scheduled. Sophia dressed in simple black denim shorts, and a faux-vintage Misfits short sleeve shirt, soft and freeing. Jake sat on the bed, watching her get dressed, the taste of their last encounter, still present, remaining hungry for more, regardless of the consequences. He spoke.

"Babygirl, you don't have to go. Lemme go instead. Lotta lifting, lotta cleaning. I know you scared of him."

"No. I need to be brave. He's just a person like you or me."

"Don't sound like you. Don't mean offense neither but you sounding like a whole nother' woman. Proud of you."

"Thank you, umm, it's not easy. But, yeah I have to try. Even if I fail."

"You won't."

She was silent, as part of her hoped she would fail, for the sake of her salvation, for the sake of being free.

Sophia's phone buzzed. She looked down to a see a text from Fin.

"Today's the anniversary of our ten year graduation."

She held the phone in her hand, staring at the words, as if she could conceive the phrase necessary to make it all go away. She texted slowly.

"Ten years go by fast."

His response was immediate.

"For some. Yeah."

Another text from him.

"You need to switch with Jake, sorry, I texted him just now, but we have a double shipment coming. I'll need him after, it'll be rough tonight. You need the break."

Jake looked up at her and sighed.

"Damn look at that, looks like you ain't go no choice. I told you I'd go for you." Jake said with a grin.

"Guess so. I love you. I'll see you soon."

Sophia kissed Jake on the lips and left, as Austin meowed at his departure.

***

The night was fast coming to a close. Jake waited on every second, desperate to see Sophia. He had never felt closer, she seemed so confident, he couldn't help but smile as he wiped down the bar top, back aching from the shipment earlier. He stood upright as he saw Fin approach, his expression flat, emotionless, the same as his voice.

"I'm going to head out. Ashlee is going to lock up, so you can leave with her."

"You sure bout that? I mean, we ain't never closed without you." Jake said hesitantly.

"Appreciate it. It'll be alright."

"I ain't mean to pry, but everything alright?"

Fin paused, his eyes like static, lingering far too long on Jake's face. When he spoke it was flatter than before.

"Everything is fine."

"Well, we all need some good once and a while."

Fin smiled, and left.

Fin got into his car and started driving. He went exactly the speed limit, despite the anxious and naked desire that was spreading through him, tendrils of need across every inch of his skin. As he pulled into the apartment complex, on the seat next to him, was a dress folded perfectly. He ran his fingers across it, after all these years, he could still smell her on it, faint, a distant dream, exactly how he remembered, during those eight months where that woman had showed him, exactly how to be what he was meant to be. He sighed, as he looked at Sophia's door, he knew it was the start of a fated ceremony she wouldn't dare refuse.

He left the car door partially ajar. His leather gloves hung out of his back pocket. He ascended the steps without a single sound, combat boots near silent with his approach. He stood in the front of the apartment door, and watched between the blinds, the shadow of Sophia's form move across the wall, he had already memorized every contour, every flaw of her. He knocked, with his fist twice against the door, producing a pronounced thud. He heard her footsteps as she approached.

Sophia peered through the peephole and saw nothing. Her eyes scanned the dark. No shape stirred from within.

She turned on the porch light, and looked again, there was nothing. She moved Austin out of the way, scanning through the blinds, as her long nails pried the worn, yellowed slats apart. The hum of crickets droned, and the dull, stained porch light illuminated mosquitoes and flies that circled it. She shook her head, with the weight of exhaustion setting in, and her medication, she knew it wasn't the first time she had heard phantom noises, seen things that weren't there.

There were two more thuds, she peered out again, nothing. She unlocked the door, determined to offer hell at whoever it was.

The squeal of the screen door's old piston caught, latched, the screen itself perforated, swung open allowing the damp humidity to flood the already warm apartment. Around the corner, Fin walked towards her. He smiled and waved.

"So I had the right apartment after all."

Sophia swallowed, he was close enough to her now, that there was little she could do to retreat.

"Umm, hey. What's up? I didn't even know you knew where we lived." she said nervously.

"Oh yeah, I dropped Jake off once or twice. So I just committed it to memory."

"Right, um, something I can help with?"

"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you, just one on one. It's about work. And I had to stop by in person about it. It's about closing tomorrow."

"Umm, you're not firing..."

"No, no. I'm not. It's actually about making you a key holder, a raise, vacation time. Since I was on the way home, I figured I could just bring by the paperwork, and the key. Could I come in?"

She knew, inviting him over that threshold violated a boundary that might never be set again, like a beast of yore, once invited, there was no turning back, their space forever rotted by whatever he brought in with him. The pain, her guilt worked against her judgment, she knew it was the wrong choice, yet felt it impossible to deny him. She had hurt him so much, she wanted to trust this at the worst, this would bring her peace, like it did with Caleb when he claimed the piece of her she no longer needed.

"Sure, um, come in."

Fin stepped forward, pushing her back, closing the door behind him, and turning the lock. Sophia backed up. He lunged forward and grabbed her throat, she pushed him back, with no result. he was too strong. He applied pressure in his form, pressing her back against the table, hand cupping her mouth. She kicked out driving her foot into his stomach, and threw herself away from his grasp. Ignoring the blow, still windless, Fin grabbed her from behind and kicked the back of her knee viciously, dropping her to the cold tile.

His hand cupped her mouth from behind, cock furiously hard, leaking precum in his jeans, withdrawing the short fixed blade knife from his inner waistband sheathe, holding it against his collar. His hand covered her mouth, as he pressed her towards the floor, her hands trying to grab at him. She felt Fin wrap himself around her, legs locked around her waist, blade now across her throat, his lips against her ear as he spoke softly, his breath warm, scentless, as if a ghost.

"It's ok."

He hushed her, as if it would fix all that was wrong, a silent blessing that made her shiver. She struggled again, twisting her shoulders, everyone of her fears coming true, what she dreamed of, what she knew was inevitable, what she had invited. He pushed the back of her head into the tile and yanked her to her knees. He ran the fixed blade down the torn center of her shirt, putting her cleavage on display.

She remained still, her world paused, her breath succumbed to nothing as she watched the blade part through the center of her bra, skipping a roll on her stomach, stopping at her shorts, drawing the faintest trail of blood, she yelped under his hand still cupping her mouth. He whispered in her ear.

"It's only blood."

She nodded, her eyes widening. He spoke.

"I'm going to move my hand away, you're not going to scream."

He pulled his hand back, she followed his command, remaining silent. Her body wanted to run, her knee had restored its strength, but in close quarters, he would catch her, she knew it, after all these years, everything caught up with her. She could endure, if it meant salvation. it would be two hours before Jake came back. Instinctively she tried to fight.

She stood to run, and before she could move, she felt her knees slam against the ground. His arm clutching back around her throat, the crook of his elbow sinking into her windpipe, he lifted her back to her knees crouching behind her. She murmured helplessly.

"St.. oopp... can'thh... bre..."

Fin paused, and released his arm. She coughed, tears flowing down her angular cheeks, septum ring coated in snot. Fin spoke, blade still pressed against her chest.

"We found each other again."

She felt numb, she turned her head slightly and met his eyes, and saw the same sad, beaten expression he had worn all those years ago, the webs of red that rimmed his eyes, no different than the wounds she had so callously inflicted years ago.

Fin ran a finger down her cheek, against her tears.

"You're not going to run again are you?"

She shook her head side to side.

"You've been running for a long time. You must be so tired."

In her heart, the bravery she had found, when she thought of Jake, their life, their vows, were flayed apart to Fin's presence. She heard the ratchet of a zip tie's teeth tighten as her wrists were bound together. She found herself with her back against the wall. Fin studied her, observing her prodigious chest, dwarfing over her stomach folds, he unzipped his pants, his cock freed. He knelt down and ripped her necklace and cross away.

"You don't need that anymore."

She looked meeting his wide, unyielding eyes. He ripped the phone from her back pocket and smashed it against the floor.

He stood, his cock aching, he placed the tip near her lips, and the blade's point below her chin, pressing firmly. She knew what he meant. She closed her eyes, darkness was all she had, if she could muster the strength, if she could act, she could take him with her. She just had to clench, and it would be over for them both. She thought she wasn't afraid to die, afraid to perish, thought it would bring relief, but now, she hesitated. She wondered, is she had carried another soul in her, a union of her and Jake. The monster she created was in front of her, she thought, what she had denied for so long, that she could tame him, free him, and she too would be free, not by their faith, or words, but by their bodies. He would have what he wants.

She looked up at him. Her eyes fell into his, what remained of her guilt, the yearbook in the trash, the years compiled into a burden she couldn't part with. She would offer herself to him, to save what she had, to make things right, like she had done with others, many times before. She paused before she spoke.

"If I do this-"

"Words fail us."

Trembling, she kissed his crown slowly, plump lips plush against him, all her movements rehearsed and trained, from days long ago. He was warm, and there was no sound except his own breathing, broken by the slow slurps from her lips wrapping tighter. His taste was strong, his length far more manageable than Jake's, her cheeks hollowed as she sucked, her chest rising prominently as she struggled to moved her head forwards, the point pressing deeper into her throat. He moved a hand to the back of her head, lightly combing her blonde hair softly, coaxing her further. He pulled her head back, spit pooling down her chin, as her bound hands struggled behind her, she moved her head down again.

Her tongue slid under swiftly, flicking along his underside, grazing against his tip, mouth opening wider, swollen lips sealed as her head inched forward, a reluctant pride in her response, as much as it carved away at her dignity, it eased her guilt. He flinched, as she craned her neck, knife point still dancing against her throat, as her tongue slithered around him steadily as she crested his cockhead. Her bound hands behind her clasped together, as if to pray. She had control, as her lips crawled down to his hilt, and descended again, her brow held to his groin, no plea for air from her as her restraint waned, agile in her technique, she stole the breath from him as she felt him spasm, a soft lament escaped from Fin as he pulled out of her mouth. He felt his thighs ache, burn, as his vision blurred, Sophia's face a mask, her tongue left hanging. The volley of his cum was crude as it sprayed across her dejected, expression. From their congress, a sap of his seed and her drool spilled past her lips landing on the tile below.

"I love you. I always have."

She nodded weakly, face still covered in cum. He wiped some of it away off her cheek. She looked him wondered could possibly be said, she felt a feeling of fullness, anguish, failure. She didn't say anything, in the pit of her stomach, she felt her life slipping away, all she and Jake had built, not knowing if she could reclaim it, hoping that this liaison would free them all.

"We don't need words, only each other."

She nodded, her eyeliner turned to two dark smudges that ran down to her lips still coated in the pale sap of his pleasure.

"When you're with me, you are whole. I need Jake to see, how beautiful this is. We need to show him, what we are to each other."

Jake left Last Exit, knowing that at home, Sophia was waiting. He smiled as he walked into the night, a long walk back, with no turns.