Qauking

Quaking

Note from Author: This is the same story by the same name that was posted a chapter at a time nearly a year ago. It has seen heavy editing since then--hopefully making it better. It is the second full length novel I wrote but the first full length romance. I was still writing in third-person limited POV and my "voice" was not as developed when I wrote it. For those that have not read my bio, I am a man and could not be, nor would want to be, mistaken for a woman irl despite my female pen names. Both my male and female mentor suggested this to me some tenish years ago because of what I tend to write. They told me it might be required by some publishers. At the time I had zero problem with that. In the past many months I've started to feel unhappy with the deception.

On that note, I have been complimented by being told that my romance writing voice sounds genuinely feminine and then insulted--even wounded--by being told I'm promoting workplace harassment. Not my intention. I might have written this because I was "working through things" but I'm posting it purely for your entertainment. It is not meant to justify harassment of any kind. It's a workplace romance. A female character falling hard for a coworker in this story is a given. Unlike last time I'm posting the entire story at once for your reading pleasure.

Many thanks to Literotica, its editors, its moderators and its technical people for giving me a platform for my work. Many, many thanks to my readers. There'd be little point in writing without you. I'd give you x's-and-o's but you probably don't want that. I'm a six-foot-six (I shrank with age) two-hundred-and-seventy-pound (I expanded with age) born in 1970 old man with a scratchy beard.

Sunset

Cade

The phone icon ballooned around Cade's thumb. When he identified the caller, he hesitated. A heartbeat cycled. He ended the call before it'd begun to ring.

Cade's phone rang again.

A geyser of mist erupted in the late autumn air. Cade's contemplation of a Sawtooth Mountain sunset would have to wait another day. He settled back on his rocking chair, scuffed an inch of snow off the porch rail with his boots and answered the call.

"Howdy, Jasper."

"Cade! Damn, man, you're hard to get a hold of. How are you?"

"Great." The word fell like a basalt brick upon the receiver. Jasper was a good man. And a friend--as far as Cade had friends. But he represented a different life, a life that Cade had left behind.

"Do you know how long I've been trying to reach you?"

"Three days."

"Do you ever answer your phone?"

The fatigue that had lain over Cade like a second skin during the past few years grew heavier. "I just did."

"Yeah, but three days. Three days, Cade! What if it'd been an emergency?"

"It's always an emergency--" 'with you' went unsaid. Jasper was a management type with far too many irons in the fire. No person could excel with the kind of workload that had become Jasper's norm. "The world got by just fine before I came along. It'll get by just fine after I'm gone."

"You and your--" Cade could almost hear Jasper's air quotes. The guy talked with his hands. "--life philosophy. It's like you found God or something."

"Had to sometime. 'Seek and you shall find' is wrong. It should've been 'find and you shall have what you seek.'"

Jasper groaned. "That's bad. But, for your information, it is an emergency."

Cade uncrossed his legs and pulled the heels of his Ariat cowboy boots back down off the rail. He leaned forward in his chair, poised over his knees. "When isn't it?"

"I need a huge favor."

Cade combed a hand through his crew cut. His hair was quite dark, but in the past year, the gray--almost white--had started multiplying in his sideburns. "I'm retired, Jasper."

"You're forty-eight, Cade. Who retires at forty-eight?"

"I did." Way earlier than planned. He'd actually been forty-seven. Cade had never imagined retiring at forty-seven and sometimes the money scared him. Another million and he could've lived for eternity. Right now, things looked dicey after age eighty.

"No, you didn't. You're just up in that little cabin of yours moping. Even moping, you were one of the best field engineers we've ever had. Come on, man, join the real world. It's way past time."

"You mean join your world. I've tried that." Hadn't he? "Like my whole adult life. Your world pretty much sucks."

"Come on, what about your life philosophy? Life doesn't suck."

"You're right, life doesn't suck. Wage slave. Guilt slave. Fear slave. That sucks."

"You're just bummed because Heather left you."

"Left me?" A sulfurous cloud of despair welled up within Cade's chest. Razor claws ripped at his heart. "She slept with that misogynistic dick in Projects and then filed sexual harassment with HR when I confronted her. What does HR have to do with it? She was my wife!"

"You were at work." Jasper's voice had a deadpan note to it.

"She was blowing him!" Fire seared Cade's soul. He tried to reign in his runaway emotions, but his mind's eye painted him a pornographic picture of Heather on her knees. The slurping sounds. Derik's cruel smile when Cade walked in. How that smile was wrecked by his release. Heather's hum of approval. An audible gulp. Derik's blissed-out groan. Heather climbing out from under Derik's desk. "Under his desk!"

"Yeah, that's messed up. Really messed up. But hey, look on the bright side, you got a sweet severance. I mean, you were, like, paid to leave work! How awesome is that?"

"Of which she kept half!" He wanted to strangle Heather. Or Derik. Or both. No, he didn't. Ex-wife or not, he didn't want to hurt her. But he did. Frustration charbroiled him. Cade would've done anything to make the agony stop.

"You know," Jasper dragged out the word, "victim does not sound good on you."

Anger seeped from a rupture in Cade's soul like poisoned pus. "Don't you think I know that? If I knew how to change the way I think, I'd be the first to kick me in the ass to get on with it."

"All you've got to do is look at the bright side. You ditched your soul-sucking job and your dick-sucking wife. You got a new job. You got me for a boss!"

Cade's gaze drifted longingly toward the fading sunset. That was his bright side. Or he tried to make it his bright side. "I lost a quarter of a million dollar a year job."

"Hey! We paid you a quarter of a million." A little quieter, Jasper said, "Almost."

"And you worked me twelve hours a day."

"You worked fourteen at Blow-Jobs-R-Us. Don't deny it."

Cade's forehead sank into his free hand. He couldn't deny it. He wondered if that's what had gone wrong between him and Heather. Work. Eat. Sleep. That had become Cade's whole life. Never mind that he'd thought he'd been doing it for Heather. For them. "What do you want, Jasper?"

"You."

Yeah, like that was a surprise. "Me where? Doing what?"

"Quaking."

"Quaking, Utah?" Cade's voice sounded perplexed even to him.

"That's the one."

"What's in Quaking besides a ski lift or two?"

"You mean besides sweet slopes, six feet of powder and nice asses in ski pants?"

Heather, in her pink ski bibs, surfing over powder on her board, filled his mind's eye. Cade burned the memory down. "That ass in ski pants is going to be like twenty-four. I'm forty-eight." Heather in her forties had been hotter than any twenty-four-year-old.

"And a half. Don't forget that half. But really, man, it's been three years since Heather. If anyone could use some twenty-four-year-old ass right now, it's you. What do ya say?"

"I don't even know what the job is, Jasper. I'm a drive tech. What's in Quaking that needs a drive tech?"

"You're an engineer and a damn good one. Don't deny it."

Cade's internal critic sighed. "That life's over. What's the job, Jasper?"

"Moose Mountain."

"Moose Mountain?" Cade couldn't help the note of interest that wormed into his voice.

"Yeah, Moose Mountain, the ski resort."

"I know it's a ski resort, Jasper. A really small one. Like three lifts or something. What of it?"

"They installed a fourth lift over the summer. Six-seater to the summit. Or tried to, at least."

"Tried to? What happened?"

"What's happened everywhere? The plague. People got sick. Labor shortages. Engineering delays. Parts deliveries. The season's starting and the drive is still in pieces all over the floor."

"It's in pieces?"

"Yeah. Not one of our finer moments." A somber note crept into Jasper's tone. "We shipped it incomplete."

"Like how many pieces?"

"Incoming, inverter and reactor section were all separate."

"That's not bad. So, what do you need done? Power wiring, QA/QC and controls? You know I've not programmed a PLC in years and I've never done a ski lift. You've got a good control narrative and a complete program, haven't you? I mean, people sit on these things, suspended in the air. It's not like an oil refinery where last minute, 'Oh, do we need to control that?' engineering is like some kind of mantra. A ski lift isn't the kind of thing you just wing." That was part of the reason Cade had left engineering in the dust. He'd gotten exhausted with the hurry up and let's make all the same mistakes we made last time style of project management.

"We don't have controls. Moose Mountain insisted on Allen-Bradley. Allen-Bradley subbed some firm out of the Seattle area to do the controls."

"So, some kid barely out of college has programmed the controls?" Cade deadpanned. "That sounds like fun. I want to be the first skier on that lift."

"We don't know it's a kid."

"Yes, we do. Good, experienced control engineers don't work for integrators and can't be had for any amount of money. I know. My phone still hasn't stopped ringing and I left that business years ago. But if we don't have controls, what'd you need me for?"

"We shipped the IGBTs, firing cards and snubbers after the fact."

"You what?" Shock crescendoed with Cade's words. "Are you insane? What was your plan?"

A depressed note entered Jasper's voice. "We were going to send Casey."

"Casey's good."

Silence.

"Jasper?" Cade looked at his phone to make sure the call hadn't dropped. "Jasper, what happened?"

"COVID happened."

"Is he okay?"

"He is--" There was another pause, as though Jasper was trying to decide how much to say. "--but the kids and Debbi. Debbi's bad. She might not make it."

Horror stole Cade's breath. He'd worked side by side with Casey on a number of occasions--both as a customer and as a coworker after he'd joined Toshiba. He'd met Casey's wife, a vibrant, no-nonsense engineer over at the Mitsubishi manufacturing plant where Toshiba sourced their vacuum contactors. He liked her. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Yeah, Cade, there is. Take the job. Please."

Monstrosity

Joy

Joy finished her mascara. Even with cover, the woman in the mirror had shadows under her eyes. Oh-em-gee, she was tired. Her plane from San Jose had found the ground at SeaTac at nearly three a. m. With luggage and Uber, the moon had already set when Joy had fallen comatose in her Silver Lake apartment.

When Joy's phone beeped, stress zinged through her stronger than a java jolt. Joy's mascara wand rattled in the sink.

Ten-thirty? Ten-thirty already! The traffic gods were going to have to bless her to make Steve's mandatory meeting. She'd only seen his text demanding her presence a quarter of an hour ago.

Joy grabbed her phone from the counter. She raced about her tiny apartment to scoop up her purse, laptop, Marina Municipal's redlined prints, and a floral print backpack. The backpack was heavier than a teen's high-school book bag, bursting with an entire library of equipment manuals.

Sure, such manuals could be viewed online. Provided Joy could get online. Poor cellular service had robbed Joy of reference manuals during her first field assignment with MMI, Inc. Their customer's sexual trash talk hadn't encouraged the recalcitrant programmable logic controller to communicate with her computer. Joy had required two days to intuit the problem. Joy's self-esteem had needed the ICU. The chocolate in her cookie had been the public reading of the customer's pointed feedback by her boss upon her return to the office. She might as well have basked naked with a scarlet letter in their so-called team meeting.

Thus, books. Boring ones. Many written by people whose first, second and third language was not English.

Joy shouldered her Mount Everest pile of books and prints. She somehow managed to lock the apartment door without spilling a paperlanche down the stairwell. Her own descent was like bouldering blind without the use of her hands. Miracle of all miracles, she arrived at the ground floor without breaking her neck. She tottered to her car, a tired Subaru. A small flicker briefly dispelled the fatigued fog that shrouded her mind. She'd not had the chance to install her ski racks this season but was eager to do so. Joy had plans for Saturday. Nine a. m. to eleven p. m. Her. Her skis. Steven's Pass. Joy couldn't wait.

She drew up short. Self-righteous anger gelled within her flesh. The neighbor's Raptor was well into her space--again!

Joy squeezed into the ass-flattening divide between the two vehicles, spilling the Marina Municipal prints as she edged open the Subaru's driver's side door. Through the narrow gap, Joy shoved her burdens into the seat before kneeling down to gather up the spilled prints. Puddle water slobbered the knees of her jeans like a sloppy kiss from a man with snuff for cud. Joy half-ass wiped the parking lot sludge from the invaluable redlines as she tossed the ink-running mess into her car.

All the while, she imagined how "keep your dumb ass truck in your space!" might look keyed into her neighbor's dick-compensating monstrosity.

Joy shimmed her butt through the narrow gap in her door and slammed it. Praying that the car battery still lived after three idle weeks, Joy fired the ignition. When the engine did catch, gratitude flooded Joy for her first smile of the day.

Then her phone rang and her smile wilted.

"Hi, Mom."

Phone to ear, Joy eased her car out of the three-quarters space.

"You didn't call." Her mom's voice held a note of reprimand.

"Mom, I got home really late." The words were as tired as Joy felt.

"Anything could've happened to you. I worried."

A heavy shroud of guilt mummy-wrapped Joy's heart. "Mom."

"A ride service driver might've dumped you in Lake Washington."

"Mom." Forget guilt. Joy's mother's fear imaginings could be exhausting. The light favored Joy. She squeezed through to 19th on a yellow. "Joy, these things happen, you know."

"And if they had, there's nothing you could've done about it from Bellevue," Joy said. "My finger was on nine-one-one." It hadn't been, but--Joy sighed--the white lie couldn't hurt.

"I worry about you."

Joy cycled a grounding breath. "I know, Mom."

Her mom's voice turned hopeful. "So, how was San Francisco?"

"I was in Marina, Mom." That wasn't the first, second or even tenth time Joy had told her mother that.

"Apples. Oranges. How was it? Did you go to the beach?"

"Mom, I was working."

"Did you meet any cute boys? You know, in my day, surfer boys were hip. Too bad they'd all live in California. Perhaps you could convince one to ski bum with you up here."

"Mom!" Joy snapped, "I was working." Joy felt tired and not a 'I got home at five a. m. and only slept three hours' kind of tired.

"Even on Sundays?" her mother said.

"I slept on Sundays." The weariness in Joy's voice was a dull reflection of the fatigue in her soul.

"Joy Ava Hauk. Why were you sleeping on Sundays when you could be sunbathing on a beach?"

"Working. Sixteen hours a day. Six days a week. For three weeks. Besides, November... Brrr."

"They work you too much."

Tell me about it. Joy kept the thought to herself.

"Tell me you got to the beach at least once."

Joy obediently droned, "I. Got. To. The. Beach." She actually had. It'd been chilly, but not Seattle cold. And she had acquired a Californian sunburn to prove it.

"You wore a bikini?"

Not a snowball's chance in hell. But her mom didn't want to hear that. "I. Wore. A. Bikini."

"You met some boys? One that'll follow you home." Joy's mom's voice sounded more desperate than hopeful.

Joy eased her Subaru into the Interstate-5 southbound rush. Miraculously, traffic was going almost half the speed limit in the perpetual Northwest drizzle. Fortunately, at this rate, Joy would only miss half of Steve's mandatory meeting. Joy's stomach burbled. Probably the lunch half. Maybe there'd be some stale donuts by the coffee pot or something. "Steve was there."

Disbelief fogged her brain. Why had she said that? Joy's internal critic pleaded temporary insanity.

"Steve? You mean that guy you work with? Your boss?"

"Yeah, that's him."

"You like him? Don't you? Right? Did he make eyes at you in your bikini?"

If by making eyes, you mean imagined stripping me naked and mounting me, then yes! She didn't need to wear a bikini to get that treatment from Steve. "Oh-em-gee, Mom, stop!"

"Fine," her mother said, somehow undaunted by the distressed note in her daughter's voice. "But honey, you need to date more. Steve's single. Got a good job. And you won't even have to convince him to move to Seattle in order to marry him. Ask him on a date."

"Mom." Had Joy's hands been free, she would have buried her face in them.

"What, honey? He's a good catch. You're lettin' that thing you had with Jimmy cloud your judgment."

"He preferred James." Joy's tone was as petulant as her words. "And it wasn't a thing. He was my fiancé."

"Well, you'll just have to let that go. Won't you? You got bucked off the horse, but that was two years ago. It's time to mount up again."

"Ew. Gross, Mom."

"I'm just saying it's time to find a man, settle down, and make babies."

"You realize it's not the twentieth century anymore, right, Mom?"

"Now Joy, there's nothing wrong with a man taking care of you--" She paused. "--sometimes." Her mother's voice dropped in pitch. "Heaven knows you'll have t' take care of him most times." Her pitch perked up once more. "Besides, I want grandbabies. You haven't been on a single date since you broke it off with Jimmy."

"James dumped me, Mom." Practically at the altar! "And I went on a date, er..." Four. Five. "... six weeks ago."

"One date. And you emergency bailed. You didn't even give him a chance."

"It was a blind date. He had ink on his face." And gauges the size of half-dollars.

"All I'm saying is--"

Joy caught blue-and-red in her rearview mirror, and three kinds of hot washed through Joy's adrenal system. The officer didn't follow her out of the passing lane when she made way but eased forward to tailgate the next vehicle. For a moment, she wondered how it was that her phone hadn't spontaneously combusted in her hand.

"Mom, I need to go."

"We haven't talked since Thanksgiving."

"That was last week, Mom. And we talked yesterday."

"And you weren't here! Who works on Thanksgiving?"

Apparently me. "Mom, I'm driving."

"You're driving! Why didn't you tell me you're driving? You know talking and driving is nearly as dangerous as drinking and driving. Your brother was on the phone when he got in that wreck last year--"

"Bye, Mom." Joy's thumb landed on the receiver icon, and the line went mercifully dead. She'd heard enough about her siblings' supposed failures. Joy wondered what list of her sins they'd had to endure. Joy bet not making babies fast enough was on that list. Six seconds later, her phone pinged with an incoming text.

One day. Just one day. Couldn't she have one day where someone else took care of-- Neurons burned as Joy's mental brakes locked up. Great! Her mother was right.

It wasn't that she didn't want a man. She did. It was that Joy wanted one she could relate to. Preferably one that wasn't so hard up that he took her clothes off every time he glanced her way. Half the men at the office undressed her with every glance. The other half were married. Come to think of it, half of those who undressed her were married. And if not being undressed every time her man looked her way was too much to ask, perhaps he could at least be someone she enjoyed taking her clothes off for. Wouldn't that be something?

Joy pushed her implausible wet dream aside and focused on getting to work. With the cop clearing the lane for her, Joy jumped in behind. She was only fifteen minutes late for Steve's mandatory meeting when she pulled into the lot of MMI's Bothell engineering office.

Steve's Porsche straddled two spaces near the front of the lot. Seeking a space out towards the street, Joy left her Himalayan stack of paper for later, grabbed her clutch from her purse, and shoved it in her laptop bag. She held the bag above her head and speed-walked across the rain-washed parking lot. Wouldn't it be awesome if the rain turned her hair wavy after all that time she had spent with her flat iron?

Joy raced into the lobby of MMI, Inc. Kathy shot Joy a sympathetic glance.

Kathy said, "Dog-an'-pony show is in the big conference room."

Joy and Kathy made up exactly half the women at the fifty-man firm. However, Joy was the only woman engineer. But the girls, as they were too often called, needed to stick together. "They're pro'ly still eating lunch."

"Thanks." Joy flashed a smile that she didn't feel as she sped to her cubical office. She was the only licensed engineer without a door. But no, for Steve to give her an office with a door, he would've been required to kick one of the entitled, unlicensed men, like himself, out. Joy understood, didn't she?

No, but what could she do? He was her boss. It seemed petty and possibly career-ending to take her complaint to Theo, the senior partner.

She dropped her laptop and keys, grabbed note-taking materials and followed the sound of male laughter towards the conference room. With luck, the guys would all be focused on their meal. Joy and her puddle-kissed knees would slip in without being noticed.

"Ah, and here is our one and only Rosie the Riveter now."

Joy froze in the doorway. Fudgenuggets. Twenty-some men, many wearing short-sleeved, pin-striped shirts and pocket protectors likely appropriated from NASA mission control, turned to look at her. Except for the visitors, everyone in the room reported to Steve.

"You get it? Mechanical engineer. Gear-head. Except she's a girl? Like Rosie the Riveter?" Steve chortled at his own joke. A few others laughed. Something poisonous burbled in Joy's soul, but one or two of the reps, Allen-Bradley by the logo on their red polo shirts, looked as stricken as she felt.

Fortunately, there was food to distract her. One single pastrami sandwich lunch box from the Red Onion and a small selection of sugar bomb soda-pop remained. Joy grabbed the manwich that apparently gave even men heartburn. She skipped the soda. She shuffled between occupants, praying for a seat along the wall.

"Saved you a seat." Steve patted the back of the chair beside him. He was sandy blond. His eyes were a shocking, heavy water blue. Joy was not short, but he was several inches taller than she. Steve regularly ran marathons. Square jaw. Zero body fat. He maintained a kind of fit that might've made her panties drip if he hadn't been such a creep.

Sulfuric vapors reached up out of Joy's stomach and tried to strangle her. "Thank you," she managed to choke out.

"You'll have to forgive Joy's tardiness. We had a late night--"

We?

"--in Marina."

You left like eight hours before I did!

"She should've been done before Thanksgiving. But you know how startups go. That's MMI dedication for you. We worked the holiday to get everything done before Monday."

Steve had bailed before the holiday, flown in Saturday night, shook a few hands Sunday morning and bailed again.

"We had this yard waste grinder, see. Five thousand horsepower. That's a lot of mares, right? There was this piston that was supposed to hump the waste into the grinder. But if grinder excitation ran too high, it was supposed to give her a break. 'Cept it didn't. PLC was supposed to read the current, but all we were gettin' was garbage." Steve chortled. "Mares? Piston? Excitation? Humped?"

No one laughed. No one was that crass. Not with Joy sitting right beside him. Steve's eyes flicked to Joy and back. He scratched his chin. "Anyhow, realizing the isolator was wired as a source took forever. Rest assured, I won't let that happen again."

What! The word nearly popped out of her mouth. Joy glanced up at Steve. Before their eyes could align, she ducked behind her hair and pretended to be absorbed in her sandwich. A dark, poisonous vapor filled her lungs. She'd tested the circuits. She'd read the manuals. Steve's contribution in that effort had been ogling her backside while her head was buried in an electrical cabinet. If it hadn't been for his laser-focused gaze scorching her butt cheeks, she probably should've seen a doctor about an ass rash or something.

Joy flushed hot--then cold. Joy's fingers shook with the effort not to strangle her pastrami sandwich. Her eyes burned. She blinked. Exactly what she needed everyone to see. Weak woman. She tried to take a bite of her sandwich to hide her discomfort. Her stomach rebelled. Joy shifted in her chair and pushed back to excuse herself.

Steve's too-familiar hand landed on her shoulder. Joy's posture withered at his touch.

"It's not like I could count on Rosie the Riveter. Joy's not bad, but--" He rolled his shoulders in an apologetic shrug. "--gear-girl, can't expect her to know Kirkoff's Law. Never send a mechanical engineer to do an electrical engineer's job, right?"

Like you! 'Electrical Engineering.' That's what it says on the degree hanging on your wall, right? Oh, wait, no Professional Engineer license. That makes you an engineer wannabe! Doesn't it? That's why you were no help! The words, or some approximation of them, almost made it out of her mouth as a relief valve shriek. Joy bit her tongue just in time to retain her paycheck.

"So now that we're all finished eating--" Steve took his seat. Joy got her fingers off of her chair's armrest just in time. His chair knocked into hers hard. "--we can get down to business."

"We're here for a project update--"

Project update? Joy had thought this was a dog-an'-pony show. Allen-Bradley sold to them, not the other way around.

"--on the Quaking, Utah, Moose Mountain Project," an older Allen-Bradley rep said. He was short but so rotund he filled his entire chair.

Moose Mountain ski resort? She wasn't on that project, although she would have loved to have been. But Steve had taken the PLC programming and controls for himself. Why had he made it mandatory for her to be here?

Steve indicated that Kirti, one of Joy's peers, should take the floor. Kirti started talking hardware, panels and shipping schedules. Joy nudged Steve. It wasn't like she had to move her elbow more than a pencil width. "Steve?"

"Not now." He nodded his head towards Kirti.

"I got in at five a. m. Why am I here?"

"Where are you with the programming?" the Allen-Bradley rep said. "When will you be able to commission the lift?"

"The last of the hardware shipped Monday. We understand that it will arrive today. Moose Mountain has contracted their own electricians to do the installation," Steve said. "Joy here's--"

Joy froze, a mouthful of pastrami sandwich half masticated in her mouth. Wait! What?

"--on a plane to Salt Lake tomorrow to help supervise the installation and commission the PLC."

Joy's breathing stalled. She reflexively swallowed. A lump of pastrami scored its way down her throat. She fought back her gag reflex.

"I am?" Her voice was nearly inaudible. It was the sandwich lodged in her esophagus, not the news, that was threatening to ruin her eyeliner--or so she told herself.

Steve dropped his too-familiar hand upon hers and gave her knuckles a squeeze. "Not now," he seemed to say.

Joy shuffled her butt in her seat. Message received. She tried to ease her hand out from under his. Steve held firm.

"What about programming?" the Allen-Bradley rep asked again. "Can we see it?"

"Of course. The control narrative is nearly complete. I can send you a copy tomorrow."

"The control narrative's not complete?" Ire tainted the round man's tone.

Steve removed his hand from Joy's. His sudden tension transmitted itself to her anyhow. "It's complete." Steve shifted in his chair. "We've just got a few Is to dot and Ts to cross. You know, make it pretty with pink ribbons for customer consumption."

"What about the program?" The rep's voice was almost a growl.

"Joy's got that. She'll be done in a day or two."

Joy's gaze jerked up.

"The job's already late," the Allen-Bradley rep said.

"That's completely out of our control. Even the Allen-Bradley equipment was back-ordered. It's a chairlift. Not brain surgery. Joy's no superstar, but even she can do this in her sleep."

Great. She'd just saved the company's bacon in Marina and now she was being thrown under the bus again. It was like Steve wanted her to fail. He certainly was doing everything in his power--short of firing her--to ensure that she did. Now she was supposed to be able to work in her sleep.

"Steve," she whispered, "can I take a nap?"

The Worst

Joy

"This is it? This is all you've got?" Steve's door was shut. Still, Joy struggled to keep her panicked pitch to a volume where the whole office wouldn't be invited to eavesdrop. She rifled through a handful of notes that were Steve's control narrative.

"You've got the hardware package."

"Yes, but--"

"You've got the I/O, instrument specs and drawings. It's a chairlift, Joy. It starts. It stops. Nothing complicated."

"Steve--"

"Look, Joy, you wanted this job. Now it's yours."

An emotional thunderhead blossomed in Joy's chest and the deluge it let loose threatened to drown her in hysteria. Joy pinched the bridge of her nose in an attempt to keep her emotions in check. "Eight months ago. Not a minute to midnight!"

Steve's expression blanked. He glanced at the clock. "It's one."

"Doomsday." Moron. "A minute to doomsday." The panic and the fury that was rising with it refused to abate. "I don't know anything about this job! This is the first time I've seen the prints. Right now, all I know is that it's a chair lift within driving distance of Salt Lake City. That makes it like a needle in a haystack, Steve!"

"It's not doomsday. The job's in Quaking. All you have to do is get your pretty ass up there and line out a few electricians. While they put things together, you can write the program. It can't be more than a couple of hours of work. Within a day, you'll be twiddling your thumbs waiting on the electricians."

"Steve, configuration will take more than a couple of hours. There's comms, control, remote I/O, and who knows what else. And what electricians? Why am I lining out electricians on a job I know nothing about?"

"It's a chairlift, Joy."

"What about torque control, thermal protection, breaking, motor--"

Steve cut her off. "None of that's complex."

It wasn't? Joy was having a hard time wrapping her head around the potential complexity. There were an awful lot of prints in the drawing package for a simple start-stop program. Plus, people sat on the thing. There had to be all kinds of safeties and whatnot.

"It'll take time," Joy said. It'd take her time just to read the prints.

"All you've got to do is copy a program from one of the other chairlifts. They've got three."

Joy raked her fingers through her hair. The number of ways such a stunt could go wrong was too numerous to count. "That's assuming a lot."

"How so?"

"Like maybe the other chairlifts are Modicon or--oh my God--an antique Westinghouse like they had in Marina."

"So, download the docs and type it up. It still won't take that long."

Joy wanted to cry, yell or scream in frustration. She discreetly worked her jaw, trying to relieve the pressure that was building in her molars. She switched tactics.

"Steve, I've been in Marina for weeks. Before that, it was Kirkland. And before that, Corvallis. I can't just jump back on a plane and go to Utah. I've got a life here too. I've got bills and groceries and family."

"So what? Don't we all?"

"Steve, I just spent Thanksgiving in a motel." There was no way that her mom wasn't going to chew on Joy if she wasn't home for Christmas. "I'd like to spend Christmas at home."

"You will. This will be done inside of a week."

Joy was almost too stunned to speak. "It will?" she sputtered.

"Yeah. You program the PLC while the electricians are putting shit together, spend a day or two in commissioning, I'll come up and smooth out any loose ends and walla. We can even get a few runs in while we're up there."

Joy slumped. "Steve--"

"Look, Joy, according to that Allen-Bradley dickwad, our incentive bonus is forfeit if we can't have this completed inside of a week. Moose Mountain is counting on this lift for the Christmas season. Their profit equals our profit. You're the only one that's free to do this. This is your job."

For which you pay me less than everybody else.

***

Joy returned to her desk. Her head sank onto her folded arms. She bounced her forehead upon the desk a few times in hopes a positive thought would rattle to the foreground. The scene in Steve's office played through her mind again. It warped a little as it did so.

For which you pay me less than everybody else. That's what she should've said. That's what she wished she'd said.

Her whole body shuddered as she let out a heavy, wet breath. There was a lot that she'd wished she'd said. Like, I quit. But she couldn't. Not if she wanted to be successful at her career. And she did. She really, really did. She'd already quit one job when she hadn't been treated fairly and she didn't want to gain a reputation. For the sake of her eyeliner, Joy resisted rubbing the windows to her soul, which were quite cloudy at the moment.

As she paged through the prints, every schematic piled another Atlas stress weight upon her shoulders. PLC. Two racks of I/O. Remote I/O. MCC. Aux motors. Diesel backup. HMI--four of them. There were easily two weeks of dedicated, overtime-required office work and Steve wanted her to do it in the field inside of a day! She tried to let that thought soak in. Instead, the thought pinballed around in her brain until it exploded in a shower of angry sparks.

Joy raked her nails across her scalp. Despite frustration burning a hole in the middle of her head, she knew the work was not going to do itself. Rifling through Steve's notes one more time, she found his contacts list, and picked up the phone.

Six contacts later, Joy still didn't have any concrete information on how a chairlift was supposed to operate. For a time, she let herself be distracted by an email from Watt Engineering. Joy's BFF and neighbor, Sabrina, worked for Watt in their Lynwood office. Post-James, Joy had been offered a job in their Boise office. If Joy's mother hadn't had such a fit about the distance between Boise and Bellevue, Joy might've taken it.

When Joy hadn't found another job in the Seattle area that wasn't somehow aware of her debacle at P&C, she'd spiraled into a well of depression that had forced her to move home with her parents. Her mom had nursed Joy back to health, but sometimes Joy wondered if that had been an attempt to create codependency. As much as Joy's mother nagged her about finding a man and making babies, 'stay in Seattle' was her number one mandate.

Eventually, Joy was able to resume her inquisition. She located a chairlift maintenance man at Moose Mountain. He gave Joy a one-thousand-foot view of how a chairlift operated. It was so much more than start-stop.

Now, after six p. m., MMI had become a ghost town. When a conversation started up a few cubicles over, it startled Joy enough that she tuned in.

"Do you really think she can do it?" Joy wasn't certain, but she thought it might've been Kirti's voice. She didn't really know the freakishly tall Indian, but she'd taken two of his startups in the past year. His engineering gave the impression of methodical, by-the-rules work that was clean and clear--if not exactly imaginative. He was what some people called a cookie-cutter engineer: good at his job, but in a decade, two at most, an AI would replace him. Her career was probably in line for obsolescence too--which made succeeding, now, while it was still plausible, important.

"Of course not." The voice unquestionably belonged to Steve. It dripped with derision. "She's going to put so much extra garbage in the program the chairlift won't know up from down. She'll turn start-stop into nuclear physics all so it's not her fault when the job doesn't get done on time. I'm going to have to go in after and delete three-quarters of the program."

"Is she really that bad?"

"You have no idea. I practically had to hold her hand in Marina."

Joy's heart stalled. The pit of her stomach hollowed out. Her relationship with James had turned everyone against her at P&C. After P&C and its aftermath, she needed to know that she could do this, to succeed where she'd failed before. But life, everyone, told her she was stepping out of bounds. They wanted her to be a good little girl and to get back in her lane. Steve and her mom might as well have been a team. They said it different, but it was the same. All Joy was good for was making babies. And now--and now, her boss was intentionally setting her up for failure--putting her in her place.

Joy's flesh chilled. At the same time, she broke out in a sweat. The lunch she'd barely eaten tried to come up. Perhaps that's why she missed the end of the conversation and Steve's approach.

Steve stopped by Joy's cube and said, "When will you have that control narrative complete?"

"I--" She hesitated, fear's icy fingers tickling her sternum. "--thought you were going to write that. From your notes."

"It's your job, Joy."

"I--I'm not done." A dank cloud welled within Joy's soul. The sweating hadn't stopped, and she didn't feel well. How was she to succeed when her boss had already decided she'd failed? Like James--after. "Yet."

"I'll need it before you leave. What time is your plane departing? Will you be in the office? Where can we contact you if we can't reach you on your phone?"

At MMI, Inc., the employees made their own travel arrangements. Each question was like a kick in Joy's gut, and she struggled not to wince. "I've not booked anything yet."

"Well, fuck, Joy. We told that Allen-Bradley dickwad you'd be in Quaking tomorrow. You won't want to lodge down in the city. The commute would be a bitch. This time of year, hotels in ski towns fill up quick. I hear there's only one motel in Quaking and the lodge will be cost-prohibitive."

But--but--but--oh no. Joy's mind had developed a stutter. I only found out I was going today! Her head, her shoulders, everything sagged. She was having a hard time seeing a way out of this hole. Her dream career was slipping away. "I'll--I'll do the best I can."

"Better hope your best is up to snuff." Steve paused. His words sank the life raft of Joy's self-esteem. "I'm off. Drop me a note with your flight time and room number. I'll join you at the end of the week. Sweep up. Get a few runs in."

Joy wondered if Steve moonlighted as Darth Vader. Just like in the movie, her throat was suddenly constricted and she couldn't say a thing. Steve stepped from her cubicle while she tried to find her breath.

"Oh, don't forget," Steve said as he headed for the lobby, "need that control narrative come morning. Night."

***

The Hubbub of the Denver airport peaked and waned about Joy at irregular intervals. Monopolizing her focus was the tippy tap of her fingers as they skipped across her laptop keyboard at a furious pace. She frantically plagiarized an older control narrative with the generic information that the Moose Mountain Maintenance Engineer, Randi, had supplied the evening before. Only a narrow sliver of her consciousness was reserved for data outside the digital world.

"Last call. Boarding Gate-B4 Delta flight 1357 to Atlanta."

Joy's gaze flicked to her laptop clock. She'd been here for over an hour. Hadn't she? But her computer claimed more than an hour remained of her two-hour layover.

Joy's stomach rumbled. She'd skipped lunch in her rush to get to SeaTac on time. She'd planned to eat when she landed. Unfortunately, Joy'd had many layovers in Denver. Her Wi-Fi had auto-connected. The emails had come pouring in. Most were Steve asking her where this file was or where the Marina prints were or the status of some job. Somedays, many days, Joy felt like his personal secretary. It was like her PE-ME was just the whipped cream on a milkshake. Maybe if she pasted a copy of her State-issued license on her boobs, he'd take notice. The license had required Joy to pass a sixteen-hour exam with an almost forty percent fail rate--for second-time test takers. Joy had passed on her first attempt.

After the emails, she'd cannibalized her own work in order to get the control narrative done. No less than three of Steve's emails had been to ask Joy where it was. She'd meant to finish it on the first leg of her flight from SeaTac to SLC. Unfortunately, Joy's economy class ticket had put her next to a frazzled mother and her screaming infant. Working had been impossible. Joy's perfume was now La Vie Est Belle Regurgitation by Jacob. Just thinking about it made Joy's nose crinkle at the unpleasant odor that still clung to her.

Joy's phone rang. Joy glanced at the caller ID. Seeing who it was, she pinched her temples, between thumb and middle finger, and counted to three before answering.

"Hi, Mom."

"You didn't call."

Guilt wrapped a thick, scratchy blanket about Joy's heart. "I know. I'm sorry. I worked late."

"Joy," her mother whined, "I never get to talk to you. I never see you. When are you coming over?" Her mother paused. Joy had half a second to derail the inevitable. She was too slow. "I know. Why don't you come over for dinner tonight?"

Joy sagged in defeat. "I can't."

"What do you mean you can't? Bellevue isn't that far--"

The PA system announced, "Now boarding Gate-B77 Delta flight 2537 to Salt Lake City." Joy stuck a finger in her ear so as to hear her mother.

"--from Bothell. Turn off that computer, say goodbye to the office, get into that rattletrap of yours, and come over for dinner."

"I'm not at work." That wasn't true. Joy was working her ass off. Perhaps that's how she maintained her figure when she had so little time for a true workout, like skiing. "Er... At least, I'm not in the office."

"Where are you?" There was a sharp note in her mother's voice. "What's all that noise?"

"Denver. Waiting for a flight to Salt Lake City."

"Joy Ava Hauk! You are supposed to call! You're supposed to tell me where you're going, when you're going and when you'll be home!"

A flash fire seared Joy's flesh. Her guilt sizzled and retreated like a sentient beast biding its time before it could pounce again. "Mom! I'm thirty-three years old!"

"Now you listen to me, young woman. I raised you. You should be more grateful that I still want to be a part of your life. You know you don't make it easy. When I was your age--"

"Now boarding Gate-B77 Delta flight 2537 to Salt Lake City."

Wanting to be in any conversation but in the one she was in, the words "Salt Lake City" grabbed Joy's attention. Without bothering to put her mother on speaker, Joy swiped her phone over to the Delta travel app. The ticket information now read, "DL2537 to Salt Lake City, Rerouted to Gate B77." She glanced at her laptop. 5:13 p. m. Her brain conveniently added Pacific Standard Time. A bolt of panic ground through Joy's spine as something unladylike popped from her mouth. Joy's cold coffee spilled onto the floor as she slammed her laptop closed and jammed it into her bag. Hastily, she brought her phone back to her ear.

"What did you just say, young woman?"

"Mom, I've got to go!"

"Joy, don't you ditch me!"

"Bye, Mom!"

"Jo--"

Joy slid the receiver left. The line went dead. Joy dropped her phone in her bag with the laptop. Shouldering her laptop, carry-on, and purse, Joy made an obligatory swipe at the spilled coffee with a napkin. Joy blushed apologetically at the scowling Delta employee and ran. Dimly, her brain registered her mom's ringtone singing from her bag.

Joy hit the end of the concourse at B16. The clock on the wall now read 6:16 p. m. Frantically, locating a map, Joy discovered she'd run in the wrong direction. B77 was at the far opposite end of the concourse.

"Last Call. Boarding Gate-B77 Delta flight DL2537 to Salt Lake City."

"Sorry. 'Scuse me. Pard' me," accompanied by a hot flush in her cheeks, became a litany. Carry-on, so convenient in avoiding baggage claim delays, became an awkward weight, regularly throwing her off balance in her sprint for the far end of the airport.

"Wait!" Joy yelled as she neared the gate. The waiting area was devoid of passengers. A couple of people in the neighboring holding area looked up and granted her sympathetic smirks. "Please wait!" She slid to a halt beside the ticket counter.

A woman in Delta blue looked over at a fellow employee who'd just cleared the causeway. "Cutting it kinda close."

"I know." Joy gasped for air. "I'm sorry." Joy fished her phone from her laptop bag and pulled up her Delta app. Before she could scan, her mother's ringtone sang out again.

"Mom!" She swiped left. Her frustration must've been written across her face.

"Tough day."

"The worst." Joy scanned her ticket.

"Hopefully, it'll get better from here."

Joy granted the woman a strained smile. "I hope so."

"I'll call down an' make sure they don't close the cabin door."

"Thank you."

Can't Do It Alone

Cade

Is there anything I can do to help?

Yeah, Cade, there is. Take the job. Please.

What had he been thinking? He'd walked into that. Cade exited the lift motor room and strode out on the catwalk overlooking acres upon acres of ski runs. Fading sunlight had turned the western sky orange. The snow-shrouded mountains glowed pink. Even though Cade's fingers ached with cold, he stripped off his gloves in order to make a call.

"Howdy, Jasper," Cade said even before the man on the other end of the line had an opportunity to greet him.

"Hey, Cade. How was the drive?"

"Not bad."

"Icy?"

"Nah. It's Utah." A quiet chuckle rolled in Cade's chest. "The Morton Umbrella Girl must've walked the roads. There was enough salt to melt Antarctica. I'm going to have to wash the 4Runner's undercarriage."

Jasper asked, "Accommodations good?"

"Not sure why I needed a whole suite with an extra room an' everything."

"I was buttering you up. For next time."

"There won't be a next time." Cade's tone was sharper than he'd intended. "Not biting."

"So, what's up?"

"This job is bigger than I can handle on my own." What an understatement. The building was set. The towers were erected. All the mechanical and structural was done. But other than bringing power to the lift's general proximity, zero electrical had been completed.

A quarter minute ticked by before Jasper responded. "Like, how so?"

"None of the wiring's done."

"None of it?" Jasper deadpanned.

"None."

"Define none."

Cade raked the fingers of his free hand through his hair. Dimly, he noted that his hair was stiff with ice. "Transformers, heater, none of the controls." He clenched his hand into a fist in the hopes of returning some warmth to his fingers.

Jasper's words came slow, almost as though he couldn't process the situation. "That's not good."

Cade was pretty sure that was the understatement of the day. "Yeah."

"So what do we do?" Jasper's tone was pinched.

"I need some electricians." Cade looked about the installation, going over a mental checklist. It'd take an army to complete the job on time. However, there was always the problem of how many bodies could fit into a limited space and remain productive. "Good ones. With industrial experience."

"Wiring's not ours."

"Jasper, this thing isn't going to be done without some crack electricians. The resort doesn't have the people. I have the know-what but not the know-how and the kid, even if he does have the know-how, isn't here yet. Besides, this is way more than a one-man job."

It sounded as though Jasper issued an explosive word somewhere away from the receiver. Then, closer to the mic, he asked, "How many?"

"Three. Four. That's all I think we can get in here at one time. If you want this done on the schedule we promised, I need those electricians, like, last week."

Cade paused. He had worse news. "I'm also going to need the vacuum bottles."

"You--what?"

Cade pulled the phone away from his ear in a belated attempt to save his eardrum. "The vacuum bottles are missing. All of them."

"All of them! How? Why?"

"How should I know? But they're not here. They didn't ship. I've gone through the packing lists more times than Santa Claus."

"Great." The word bled sarcasm. A flurry of typing sounded over the phone. "I swear we tested the contractors. No. Wait." Seconds ticked by. Cade had enough time to pace to the opposite end of the frost-covered catwalk before Jasper answered. "Well, if that isn't just par for course."

"What?" Cade said in a calm voice. One thing years in the trade had taught him was that all of life's pretend emergencies were just that--pretend.

"The bottles were back-ordered, likely COVID. We couldn't ship in time. The technicians borrowed bottles from a Marathon job to complete the testing." More furious typing pinged over their connection. "Okay, I've got some bottles in Denver. I can have them on a plane tonight. Can you pick them up?"

Cade sucked in a grounding breath. Going with the flow was a lesson he was trying to learn. But it was a tough one. "Sure." Cade deepened his breathing. "Fine. I'll pick them up. Text me the time and the tracking number."

"Give me a minute." Many minutes of typing ensued. "Yeah, I think I've got it. The next flight I have leaving Denver won't land until seven-thirtyish. I'm going to have to go, though, so as to line out a hot shot from our warehouse to the Denver airport. I'll text you everything when I know I've got the bottles on the plane. It's going to be tight. If we can't make this one, then there will be another one in two hours."

"Okay. I'll wait to hear from y'."

"Oh, wait, before you go, I got word earlier that your programmer should be out there tomorrow."

Cade turned his back on the sunset to look into the control room. "Okay. But unless they're a wizard with wire, there's not going to be much for him to do. There's no power. The transformer's not even online yet."

"Uhm..."

"Yes?"

"Her. The integrator is a her."

Her. Cade knew what Jasper must be thinking and it shouldn't have mattered. It didn't matter. But it did--and Cade felt guilty for it. Very guilty. That last her he'd worked closely with had been Heather. Yeah, that her. Jasper was thinking that working with any her was going to be difficult. And it would be. Heather had gotten him fired. But had it only been Heather?

There'd been other women. Women he'd witnessed being harassed. Harassment that he'd brought up to the harassed, the harassers, his boss and HR. He'd thought he'd been doing the right thing. He'd been following the law, HR policy and his conscience. Or so he thought. Apparently, everyone else thought he was doing the wrong thing. Cade couldn't pretend he understood women or their feelings, but how could someone watch a woman wipe tears out of her eyes after she'd been introduced to a room full of men as something 'less' and not believe she was being harassed?

"Okay." Cade took a moment to let the spike in his heart rate calm. "Her." Cade tried hard to sound professionally detached.

"There's more."

Cade's chest rose and fell. "Yeah?" He dragged out the word until it sounded like a tired sigh.

"I know it's not the same," Jasper paused, "but," he paused again, "you used to call Heather your joy."

"Heather's middle name was Joy, and she--uh--was my joy. What's that got to do with anything?"

"The integrator's name is--um--Joy."

CV Axle

Joy

The plane touched down in Salt Lake City with a rubber ball bounce. Joy's tray table fell down. Several passengers exclaimed in dismay. An overhead storage bin spilled luggage. The door to the overflowing lavatory, merely two rows behind Joy, banged open. The gut-emptying stench that'd assaulted the rear rows of the plane for the past two hours tripled.

The flight had circled the city for nearly an hour while it waited for the blizzard to let up. It was now past eight-thirty, seven-thirty in Seattle. Joy thought longingly of the brown banana she'd practically inhaled for breakfast.

The plane taxied. Joy settled back for what often felt like the longest part of the flight, waiting for everyone ahead of her to disembark. Thus, when the seatbelt light finally let off, rather than struggling to her feet with everyone else, she merely fished out her phone and switched it off of airplane mode.

Missed calls, texts and voicemails chimed in. A clammy fist clutched at her chest when she saw Steve's number tucked in between numerous calls from her mom. Putting her dread on hold, Joy bypassed the voicemail and scrolled through her texts.

That might've been a mistake. Joy's shoulders bowed under the weight of the six versions of "call me guilt" sent by her mother. Two more from Steve asking for the control narrative heightened her dread. The only light in the darkness was one from Sabrina requesting a girl's night out.

Naturally, Joy responded to that one. Her thumbs danced upon the phone's LED screen. "Wish I could. Just landed in SLC. Won't be back for a few."

Sabrina's response was immediate. "More work?"

"Yeah."

"KK. Text when you're home."

Home?

Home is where the heart is. As such, her Silver Lake apartment wasn't a home. It was a place where she slept between jobs. Joy no longer knew her heart or where it dwelled.

She'd once thought her heart was in her work. Joy had also thought her work to be useful, creative, constructive and important. She'd even been so naive as to think she'd found a home in her once co-worker, turned friend, turned boss, turned fiancé. He'd then turned ex-fiancé, now ex-everything. Was she ever going to be home?

Joy scrubbed her nose with the back of her wrist and then typed, "I'll call." She expanded her chest, re-centering herself.

Pain stowed safely away, Joy glanced towards the front of the plane. The crowd in the aisle had not yet shifted. Turning her attention back to her phone and checking her voicemail, it was almost a relief that the first three were nothing more than "call me guilt" from her mother. The fourth and final left Joy shaking.

"Joy! It's after seven. I need that narrative now! That dick at Allen-Bradley has been ranting about it all day and Theo's on my case. You were supposed to have turned that in this morning. Perhaps I shouldn't have put you on a--" Steve's recording paused. "--this job." Man's job. A man's job. That's what he'd almost said. "We'll have to re-evaluate your role in the company upon your return."

Piss on a stick! Joy's sinuses stung. Screw this. Screw Steve. Well--no. Not that. Never that. Not literally. But screw her job.

But she needed her job. Not for the money. Well, that, too, but she needed it so she--so she--so she could prove to everyone that she could do it. That she was good at it. Most of all, she needed to prove to herself that she was good at it. She needed to prove she could do a job, even when it got tough, without bailing, like she had at P&C after James dumped her like last week's fish sticks.

The post-James disaster at P&C had robbed Joy of her confidence. James' prior ex, also at P&C, had made sure of that. Joy needed her pre-James confidence back. Then maybe she could free herself from the chains anchoring her to MMI, Mom, and her turned-to-shit life. The fact that the chains had been of her own making did not escape Joy. That didn't make them any easier to sever.

A familiar ache formed behind her eyes. Her vision blurred. Working by feel, Joy fished her laptop from its bag and opened it. She was barely able to read her screen. It took numerous tries to get the computer connected to the airport Wi-Fi. Finally successful, she opened her email.

Her machine took a moment to think before the dam burst. The emails flooded in. Ignoring them all, Joy addressed a new one to Steve. She located the file she'd been working on in Denver and sent it incomplete. Relief chased by shame swamped her veins.

"Ma'am, you need to get off the plane."

Joy looked up. "I'm sorry. I..." Joy's voice faded away. The stewardess's disapproving frown melted towards compassion.

"It's okay." The stewardess swung her gaze up the empty aisle. She opened her mouth, paused, and looked back towards Joy. "Do you have any carry-on?"

Joy closed her laptop without turning it off. She slid it into its carry bag. "Yes," Joy said. She pointed. Shouldering her laptop, purse, and bursting book bag, she made to stand up.

The stewardess retrieved her duffle bag and hauled it up to the cabin door. Handing it off, she said, "Thank you for flying Delta." Joy rewarded the stewardess' fake smile with a tremulous smile of her own.

Joy's first impression of the Salt Lake City airport was more of a refugee camp than a hub of commerce and travel. It was not so late that all the travelers were slumped over chairs with drool staining their travel pillows, but some were. Women with wrinkled pencil skirts and men with loosened ties perused laptops while keeping one eye on the vacant arrival and departure boards. Impromptu litter of McDonald's wrappers and Starbucks cups overflowed trash bins. Delays, reroutes, and passenger names resonated throughout the otherwise silent waiting areas. Halls that could transport hundreds echoed the tired clip of Joy's boot wedge heels as she dragged her butt towards the car rentals.

Joy flipped to her reservation on her phone, dug out her driver's license and presented both to the reservation's agent. The lanky youth glanced at her reservation and asked for her name. He turned his attention to his computer.

"Joy Hauk... Joy Hauk," he muttered to himself. He finger-poked the keyboard one key at a time. "Ah, there you are. Looks like--" He paused. He typed some more. "--we can put you in a Mondeo or a Camry. Do you have a preference?"

Joy's brow wrinkled. "Is the Mondeo an SUV?"

"No." The young man's gaze wouldn't quite meet Joy's. His eyes kept flicking towards the monitor. "It's a standard four-door sports coupe."

Joy's soul sagged. "I reserved an SUV."

"Ah--" The young man turned his attention back to his computer. "--give me a moment, ma'am."

Had he just ma'amed her? Did she really look that old? She was thirty-three. Was thirty-three old? Despair deflated her chest. Twenty-nine was old. Thirty-three, a third of a century, was ancient.

Joy slid her bags from her shoulders and dropped them to the floor. She was also cold, very cold. Every time the nearby doors opened, a blast of arctic air eddied in their wake. She fished her ski jacket out of her bag, which was an uncomfortable reminder of the other thing she needed to get done tonight. When she'd repacked her travel bags from November California to December Utah, it'd become painfully apparent that she'd not done laundry in some time. The arc-rated clothing required for her job had been re-worn multiple times in the past three weeks.

Worse, because the air temperature surrounding a lightning bolt could exceed the surface temperature of the sun, natural, non-melting fibers were required for all other garments. Nature did not seem to care if said lightning bolt was ground to cloud or 'manmade' to 'manmade' equipment. Nor did nature care that bra padding tended to melt if said bra was in close proximity. Joy had seen enough shock and awe safety videos of clothing fused to flesh that even thinking about it made her feel queasy. She'd been in electrical rooms where she could almost smell the electrons in the air.

That all added up to a mandatory trip to the laundromat because she'd had zero time and less energy last night. Her supply of cotton, comfortable and clean was at emergency life support levels. If she didn't do laundry, tomorrow she'd probably find sand in her shorts--er--bikini briefs. At least Steve and his ass rash gaze weren't here yet. Joy needed to count her blessings.

"I'm sorry, ma'am... er... Missus Hauk--"

"Miss," Joy said automatically.

The boy stuttered. "... uh, right, uh, Miss Hauk, we don't have an SUV on the lot."

Joy's vocals tensed. "But I reserved one." Ugh, she'd already said that. Was she really going to whine?

For a brief moment, the man looked like a deer in the headlights. "I--" But then his expression smoothed over. "Let me check our partner's lots."

It was late and growing later. While the young man picked up the phone and made a series of calls, Joy leaned against the counter, hoping it might somehow lend her strength. Her gaze wandered--

--and was snagged by a snow flurry sneaking in as an overlarge family wrestled their luggage out the door. Joy tucked her arms over her breasts to ward off the chill. An unwelcome memory surfaced from the ice slurry that bathed her heart.

February. James. The drive home from the Clearwater Paper job in Spokane. An avalanche in Snoqualmie Pass. A blizzard in Stevens. The cabin they'd snagged in Leavenworth, barely, before everything filled up. The banked fire they hadn't chosen to put out. She'd had winter clothes then but hadn't worn many.

"Yes, Toshiba, the package should've been drop shipped upon the last flight. It's probably addressed to Cade Hawthorn." A low, rumbling voice tickled her ears. Her snowbound sob story derailed.

The speaker hitched his hip against the shipping counter that neighbored the car rental. Denim hugged his ass. He wore a blue Ariat shirt threatened to burst its buttons every time he flexed his shoulders. She was tall, but he was taller. Joy could've easily worn heels on a date without making him insecure. There was a touch of gray in his dark hair. The color moved towards potash and soot as it migrated from his blended crew cut into his sideburns. His ramblers were neither city-slicker nor cowboy but spoke a little of both. An itch, one Joy'd not felt since James, blossomed. A rush of heat reaffirmed it had indeed been her girly bits that'd perked up to pay attention. He was good-looking. Older, but--yum!

"Ah... Here." He rattled off a tracking number to the woman on the other side of the counter. He turned his phone towards her. The woman's cheeks burned pink. Her gaze flicked to his face a few times before settling on his phone. She brushed a tawny lock behind her ear in an obvious attempt to draw his attention. A surprisingly sharp stab of envy skewered Joy's chest.

Oblivious of the attendant's adoration, the man's attention wandered away from the woman behind the counter. His gaze landed upon Joy. He did a slow sweep up her legs to bump over her chest and land on her eyes. His whisky-colored gaze didn't heat until he found Joy's face.

A kilo-amp jolt arced between them. In its wake, energy swelled low in her spine and poured over Joy like a wave climbing a beach. A fist wrung out Joy's core as she swore she felt her panties drip. For a moment, her sorrows, her worries, her fatigue all washed away. A smile blossomed on her face.

The stranger blinked as if startled. Banked fire burned in his expression, and his firm, angular face softened. He gifted Joy a smile of his own.

Butterfly wings fluttered within Joy's chest as a warm tide washed over her cheeks. She dodged behind the burnt, mahogany-colored curtain of her hair. When she peeked from behind her tresses, he was no longer facing her way.

"Ah... ma'am, Miss Hauk," the lanky youth said. Joy jolted. "There are no SUVs. We're--" His wave encompassed all the car rentals within the immediate vicinity. "--all out. The blizzard," he said by way of explanation.

The heat that Joy had felt moments ago fled. "What do you have that'll handle in the snow."

"The Camry's front wheel drive. So's the Mondeo."

No trace of warmth remained within Joy. Her mom, her fatigue, Steve and her job all were front and center in her soul once more. Lugging her travel bag back off the floor, she slumped under its weight. "I guess I'll take the Camry."

"Okay, good," the young man said with obvious relief. He grabbed keys off the near-empty rack behind him. He turned his monitor towards her. "Do you want the insurance?"

"No."

"'Kay." He selected something for her on his keyboard. "Sign here and here and here." He searched for the location of the last signature. Of course, that was all kinds of pointless as every signature was actually done on an electronic pad. There was little hope of reading the reams of gobbledygook text anytime this century. How could it possibly protect the company if no one ever had the opportunity to read it? Certainly a jury of peers would see it the renter's way.

"'Kay," he said, printing out the contract. "Your car is in stall A-35." He leaned over the counter and pointed. "Go out these doors and cross the street. Section A will be just a little to your left as you enter the parking garage."

"Map?" Joy asked. She'd learned that it was sometimes wise to have a backup for Google.

"Ah, yes. Where are y' going?"

"Quaking."

"Ah, wow. Okay. Skiing?"

"No. Work."

"Really? Must be cool to have a job up there."

I wouldn't know-- "Yeah--" She shrugged. "--I guess." --yet. Got to get there first.

"Well, okay. I--" He dragged out the final word. "--don't have a map to Quaking. This is what I've got." He pulled out an eight-and-a-half-by-eleven print with a city grid on both sides. "This is what you do, though." He rattled off a long set of instructions. He finished with, "Google will take up Harrison in Ogden, but I'd take Trapper Loop past Snowbasin, like I said. Less out-of-control jackasses who can't drive."

He probably means people like me. The thought came unbidden to her mind. Despite her love of skiing, snow and Seattle weren't really a thing.

"'Kay, thank you," Joy said. She'd tapped Quaking into her phone and found Google's guidance largely agreed with his. She gathered her phone, map, contract and keys and headed for her car.

Two-and-a-half hours later, Joy was at a twenty-mile-an-hour crawl. As a Seattleite, a whiteout blizzard was not Joy's favored driving condition. She recovered well enough from the occasional slip-and-slide. But she couldn't see. With the headlights on, a wall of fat white flakes materialized from the night like an army of wraiths. The brights made it worse. She could almost see further with the lights off, but it was pitch black out there. While there'd been no traffic, Joy worried what might happen if that changed. She had her fog lights on, the amber light didn't reflect the snow so bad, but otherwise, she was driving blind--her only real guidance was the ten-foot snowbanks plowed to the side of the road. Joy's only consolation was that Google claimed she had but five miles to go.

There was a slight clunk. Something rattled from under the car. Joy's center of gravity shifted just enough to detect the change in acceleration. Like every other time the Camry had behaved in some unexpected way, an adrenaline surge poured through Joy, hotwiring her nerves. Her fingers cramped about the steering wheel, but the car didn't swerve; it merely slowed.

Joy pressed on the accelerator. The engine revved. The vehicle didn't otherwise respond. What? Joy revved the engine a second time. Nothing.

Fear's millipede feet skittered up Joy's spine. With the last of the car's momentum, Joy guided the passenger side of the vehicle towards the side of the road until the mirror kissed the snowbank.

Joy forced down the tide of fear that was clawing in her chest. She hunted for the hazard lights. Fingering through her contract, Joy located the rental's number. She picked up her phone, but there was no tone. She was in a dead zone.

This time, the clawing beast managed to climb into her throat, clogging it. Joy let out a single choked sob.

She sucked in a shuddering, wet breath. She could do this. She wore big-girl pants. Just hours ago, she'd established she was old. That meant competent, experienced and capable. She was not in danger. She could do this! Joy banished her fear to the corner for an extended time-out. Gathering her courage, Joy hunted for the hood release and popped it. She turned off the engine, activated the break, pulled her ski coat tight and stepped from the car. She promptly slipped, catching the door as her knee cannonballed into the pavement.

Ow. Ow. Joy hobbled around to the hood. Ow. Rapidly chilling fingers quested under the hood for the latch and released it. Propping the hood open, Joy scanned the engine.

There was no wave of heat. No steam rose from the radiator. The falling snow melted but did not sizzle. The engine was as clean as could be expected. There were no signs of leaks. Joy checked the radiator reservoir with the aid of her phone's flashlight and found nothing amiss.

Joy wasn't big on car mechanics, but she knew them. She was a mechanical engineer, for crying out loud. Finding nothing wrong above, Joy knelt, her left knee screaming a complaint. Soaking the knees of her cowgirl denim and freezing a hand in the snowmelt, Joy peered under the car.

Nothing. Normal. Wait! Bending so low her hair trailed in the slush, Joy spotted a torn lubrication boot. The rubber was wet, but there was no trace of oil. A mangled mess of rusted metal was all that was left of the drive-side cv axle.

Joy wasn't certain how long her mind locked up staring at the unsolvable problem. Jack Frost masticating her fingers finally had her using the bumper to jack herself back to her feet. Shaking--Joy told herself it was only the cold--she clambered back into the driver's seat, started the car and turned the heater up full blast. Unable to process another plan, she dialed the rental agency, her mom, work, Steve and finally, nine-one-one, praying some call would go through. None did.

Her attention rose to the silent, deadly night beyond her fog lights. Joy had seen no other traffic since Huntsville. Google claimed five miles to Quaking--but how many miles had it been since she'd last had service? In good weather, Joy could claim three miles an hour on foot. Her treadles ankle boots wouldn't do well in the snow. Joy had a pair of Red Wing steel-toed boots in her bag.

She brought her ski jacket--and a beanie. Would that be enough?

Supernova Smile

Cade

Cade had tried to banish the vision of bright aquamarine eyes for the umpteenth millionth time. He'd not tasted his dinner. Not even the adventure that was driving in a blizzard could banish the image of the smile from the knockout woman in the airport. It was as though the floodgates of heaven had opened and drowned him in all its glory.

Sure, she'd been pretty. She'd looked soft in all the right places, but so had the woman behind the courier counter. It wasn't like he didn't regularly see drool-worthy women. It was that after what Heather had done to him, he wasn't interested in drooling until, apparently, now.

Jasper's nice ass in ski pants enticement came back to Cade. His lips bowed into a wry smile. Wouldn't it be a dream if she were coming to Quaking to ski? That was one ass in ski pants he might actually be into.

Cade mentally slugged himself. He was still thinking about her! And not just her smile, but her ass. Heaven help him! He didn't know where she was going. He didn't know her name! Sardonic mirth gave a muted chuckle in Cade's throat. At least he wasn't thinking about Heather or Blow-Jobs-R-Us. That was a pleasant change. Maybe Jasper was right. He did need to get out more. And drool.

Self-incrimination tore through Cade. He had no interest in being a lecher.

Cade forced his attention back to the road. Navigating by fog light wasn't ideal, but at least he, and oncoming traffic, could see--a little. Well, oncoming traffic could see--if there'd been any. He was still blinded by the memory of heaven's light in the form of that smile.

That supernova smile.

At least he wouldn't have to work with her. He and Heather had started at work. They'd ended at work. The fallout after had cut wounds that he wasn't sure would ever heal. And those wounds weren't just the ending of nineteen years of marriage or Heather cheating on him at work. It was who she'd cheated on him with, her boss, a man who, in Cade's opinion, had treated her like dirt. It was that he'd been fired for harassment when he'd thought he'd been a whistleblower. It was the fear that maybe the company had been right to fire him.

Cade shook himself as his 4Runner topped a rise. A yellow flare drew his attention. The flash faded--and repeated--faded--and repeated.

Cade eased his SUV up behind the silver Camry that was little more than a shadow blocking two-thirds of the lane-and-a-half road. He punched on his hazards for good measure.

When he stepped from the vehicle, his balance went south and he nearly bit it in the slush. Cade caught himself on the door frame, righted himself and carefully stepped towards the Camry. He saw that the hood was up. He could hear the engine running. He couldn't detect anything wrong by engine noise alone. There wasn't an unusual amount of steam rising from under the hood, given the snowfall and all.

What a nightmare time an' place to have car trouble, Cade thought. Skating a little in his flat-bottomed Ariats, Cade made his way to the driver's door and knocked on the window.

The dark, hunched form within turned towards him. An electric jolt fried every neuron in Cade's frame.

She was dressed in ski gear. Her expression spoke of resigned determination. Cade had no doubt she'd exhausted her options and readied herself to hike. The glint of her soul in her eyes spoke of a tired but unbreakable will. Still, they were the same eyes--the same bright, clear, aquamarine eyes that'd possessed his mind for the past two to three hours. Brain shorting, Cade staggered back.

***

Joy

Joy had just finished using the Camry as a change room to bundle into her ski clothes when amber light dawned in her review mirror. It took her a moment for her to realize a vehicle with only its fog lights on approached. The war between the need for a lift and the need to not make like a possum in the middle of an interstate, as in flattened, was made moot when the vehicle eased up behind her rental. Joy locked the doors.

See, Mom? Safety first.

Joy scanned her mirrors. In the flash of their combined hazards, she saw a man. A big man. When he stepped closer, his shadow blotted out the light in her driver's side mirror. Fear blossomed behind her sternum. Fear sucked. It sucked so bad. Joy clicked her locks a second time, just to be sure.

Knuckles rapped on her window. The man's face lowered to where Joy could see him. Broad chin, strong nose and square jaw. Joy's breath caught in her throat.

The man's eyes, black in the hazard light yellow glow, went wide. His balance shifted. He tried to straighten.

"Shit." The staccato word was muted by Joy's window. Joy heard, and swore she felt, a thud when he hit the ground. The grunt that sounded from below her door was discernible despite the blast of her heater.

Her mom's warnings crisped to ash. Joy opened the door.

"Are you--" A thump sounded and the door shuddered.

The man slapped a hand to his forehead. "Ow!"

"Sorry." A fluster-jolt electrified Joy's body. "Oh, sorry!" Joy pulled the door back until it was barely cracked.

The man pushed himself back to his feet. Slush sluffed off his tight ass. He stepped back. The heel of his hand scrubbed against the left side of his brow.

Joy threw open the door when he was out of the way. "Sorry. Sorry. Sorry!" Each utterance climbed in pitch. She jumped from the car with some thought of--she didn't know.

Nor did she get the chance to figure it out. Joy's boots slipped and she reached out for the closest handhold to stabilize herself. She clawed at his arm and ended up with a fist full of his coat.

Again, one foot slipped from under her and her Red Wing work boot kicked in the air. He wobbled. She wobbled. Somehow, Joy slowly righted herself. Despite the sub-freezing temperature, her cheeks heated.

Joy tried to duck her head and bopped his nose. More heat blistered Joy's cheeks. Unable to meet his eyes, she focused on his broad chin. Motion drew Joy's attention to his lips, which toyed with a suppressed smile. Joy caught herself wondering what those lips might taste like.

"Sorry--um--thank you?" Joy's voice started low but climbed towards a trill with every word she spoke. Her fingers ached as she opened her fist, releasing his sleeve. "How's your head?"

"Okay." He raised a hand to touch his forehead. "Or it will be." His voice and proximity made something vibrate in Joy's chest. It felt as though her ribs had become a butterfly cage.

"I--" he began. He glanced at her car's open hood. "Do you need help? I'm not much of a mechanic, but I could--" He brought his hand down from his forehead.

His balance shifted. His boots knocked Joy's. They grabbed each other in their mad scramble to stay upright. He went over backward. Joy went with him.

"Oof," they sang as Joy slammed chest to chest with her dance partner and their heads ram-butted.

"F..." Joy grimaced in pain.

"Ouch." He blinked rapidly. Their noses Eskimo kissed. This close, she could tell he smelled of summer, fir and woods. Though the smell of fir trees and summer faded before man. Good man. Really, to the third power, good man. There was a hint of spice that left her dizzy--like inhaling helium. Joy's tongue wet her lips. Was she really thinking about tasting?

The man's gaze flicked to her mouth. Between one blink and the next, Joy's Samaritan froze. The snow stuck to his coat melted, wetting them both. He wrenched his attention from Joy's lips only to find her eyes. For a heartbeat, Joy drowned in an ocean of whisky gold.

"Up. Yep. I'm getting soaked." He pushed at her gently. "Up."

A hot tide scored Joy's cheeks as she scrambled off of him. Using the frame of her car, she dragged herself to her feet. He sat up slower. On both his first and second attempts, his boots slipped out from under him and landed him on his ass.

"I should know better than to wear these in the snow." He looked up at her from his seat on the pavement, his lips bowed with chagrin. "Seems I stopped to see if you needed help an' now I'm the one needing help." He laughed. His face flushed a dark color in the reflected hazard light, snow glow. Despite the self-deprecating sound, the chuckle vibrated something in Joy's chest. He rolled to his knees and heaved himself to his feet. Moving carefully, he rubbed the back of his head.

"As I was saying--" He glanced at her and quickly averted his gaze. There were wet spots everywhere they'd pressed into each other. She didn't know what he was seeing, but her boob-print was on his chest. "--I'm not much of a hand at fixing cars unless it's something simple."

"It's the cv joint," Joy spoke right into the flow of his words. "It disintegrated."

His gaze returned to her and skipped away again. "Ah... That's not simple." He said it like he wasn't even sure what the cv joint was.

"So not simple." She tried to smile. "Like, I'd need parts, tools, a lift and a whole day to do the work. And then I'd have to do the alignment."

"Ah." A breath cycled before he continued. "I know reception is spotty up here. Town's not far. Need a lift? Or I could get you a tow or something?"

"A lift." Joy felt herself heat. That voice in her head that sounded like her mother chanted safety. But Joy didn't take him for her mother's hypothetical ride service driver. "I could really use a lift. To Quaking. I've got a motel. I've had a really bad day. I've got work in the morning and I just want to go to bed. The rental company can deal with their rattletrap car."

"Sure thing."

"Just let me grab my stuff." Joy climbed into the driver's side of her rental headfirst and fished for her purse and discarded clothes.

"So, I didn't catch your name." His voice came from right behind her. Belated, Joy realized she was giving him an eyeful of her butt. She hoped he liked ass in ski pants.

But enough of that. Joy plopped her ass in the seat. "I didn't give it."

"Ah."

"It's Joy. And thank you, by the way." She smiled. He blinked as though stunned. She didn't want to think of him as a hero or herself as a damsel. She could've, would've made the hike had she needed to. It was nice that she hadn't needed to. But had he been a hero, and she a damsel, the fairytales had said Prince Charming was hot. They'd missed the mark. This white-knight was hot! Capital H. O. T. hot!

"Nice to meet you, Joy." His words had grown careful. Something stiffened his voice--and his expression. It did not seem as though it'd been nice to meet her. The dark energy in the exchange unbalanced Joy. A shadow passed over her heart and siphoned the joy she'd just experienced.

"And you are?" Joy's words were equally wary.

"Hawthorn. Cade Hawthorn."

Cold. Formal. Like Cade Hawthorn wanted Joy at a distance. "Oh. Okay." The shadow grew deeper. "Thank you for giving me a lift, Mr. Hawthorn." She ducked her face behind her hair to hide her hurt.

A sound like a deflating balloon hissed from above her. "My friends call me Cade."

The shadow wavered. "Am I a friend?"

Cade shuffled his feet in the snow. "You can call me Cade."

It shouldn't've happened. The shadow turned to white light. She couldn't stop the smile, so she turned away so he wouldn't see how affected she was. His introduction had been colder than Utah, but she really wanted to be his friend. Joy turned off the fog lights and killed the car. She popped the trunk.

Cade left her side. He skidded a stride as he went to grab her bags. In the time it took for him to catch his balance, Joy had joined him. She hoisted her library-laden backpack. She left Cade to grab her duffle bag and tromped around the back of his SUV.

Cade joined her at the back of his 4Runner and popped the trunk. A large box occupied the space. Joy raised an eyebrow at the Toshiba shipping label, partially obscuring Mitsubishi vacuum bottle information. There was a Toshiba drive on the Moose Mountain job. Was Cade a parts runner? Did he work for Moose Mountain? Would she see him again? She'd already seen him twice. In a world of eight billion plus, he'd already entered the relatively minuscule circle of people Joy knew by name. Despite her desire for friendship, the odds seemed--improbable.

In his SUV, on their way, Joy said, "So, hot shot?" It was an industry term for people who performed emergency deliveries.

Cade looked at her, his expression as inscrutable before his gaze returned to the snow-blind night. "Today."

"What do you normally do?"

The shadow of a dimple formed on the profile of his face. "Kick my boots up. Watch sunsets--and snowflakes."

An empty ach formed in Joy's soul. That sounded nice, really nice. It wouldn't be something she wanted every day, she'd once loved her career, but she was aching for some downtime. She turned her gaze out the window where snowflakes materialized in the little snow globe of light surrounding the 4Runner's cab.

Cade broke the silence. "So, cv joint? I'd not have even known what I was looking at. I gather you've changed one before?"

Joy nibbled her lip, taking a moment to consider her words. In the distant past, when she'd still had time to date, far too many men had been put off by her brains. She really wanted this guy to like her. But she wanted him to like her for her--not some facsimile of her. "In college, I was on a team that built a solar racecar. I wasn't big into the mechanics, but I learned them. Learned to work on them too."

"Practical skills. I could use a few more of those."

Joy could feel her brow furrow. What was he referring to? She'd not have identified changing a cv axel as a practical skill unless she owned an auto shop or built racecars. She opened her mouth in order to ask what he meant, but Cade spoke first.

"If you weren't big into the mechanics, what were you big into?"

Excitement sparked in Joy's brain. She loved talking about this stuff and so few people did. She built a career on it, or at least she'd tried to. "Torque, traction, power flow, braking, control. You know, the computer that's the brain for all that." She hid behind her hair and had to bite her tongue to keep from babbling before his eyes glazed over. She sneaked a peek his way and was startled to find Cade looking at her with--what--interest? Joy's courage surged.

"So what were you into, in college--er--if you went to college, I mean?"

It was Cade's turn to bite his lip and the motion drew Joy's gaze. Something warmed that hadn't been warm since James. Again, she wondered what his lips tasted like and it might've been her eyes that glazed over.

"I--" He paused. "--was in this technical writing class. We had to write an advertisement for something, anything, fictional. I wrote an advertisement for R2D2. It was kind of kick-ass."

Oh-em-gee, that would've been fun. Her technical writing class had been--meh.

"I can't say I didn't put that class to good use because I've needed everything I learned there--except R2D2--but the rest of that class was anything but memorable."

'Memorable' came out a little tentative and Joy was surprised to see Cade's cheeks darken under his tan.

"What?"

"What, 'what?'" Cade said, but he seemed to know what she was getting at because he sighed and then continued. "The teacher wasn't a lot older than us... kids. She wasn't married. She might've been--" His expression suggested he was wrestling with his words. He glanced at Joy's hair, of all things. "--attractive."

Joy felt a smile etch itself across her face. She couldn't help but poke a little fun. She really liked this guy. "You had a crush."

Cade's cheeks turned the color of bricks, but he didn't deny it. "I did."

"Did you at least get an A?"

Cade snorted. "I was a B student on a good day. Ms. What's Her Face, because I'm ashamed to say, I don't remember her name, gave me a B-plus for R2D2, but I do think that's what pulled me up to a B-minus for the class."

Huh. He'd not beat his chest. She'd been a straight-A student, minus one class, but bringing her grades up had never won her any dates.

Date? The proverbial brakes in her brain smoked. When had she started thinking of a date? A beat passed as she attempted to reboot her brain in an effort to find something to say that wasn't some form of, "Do you want to go out?" She was in no position to date. She had a job to do, a career to salvage and her mother would be apocalyptic if he didn't live in Seattle. Daughter in Seattle, daughter pregnant, daughter shackled to man, that's what Joy could make of her mom's priorities--maybe not in that order, but Joy sometimes feared it was. Regardless of order, daughter in Seattle was number one. Ever since Joy's post-James breakdown, daughter was not permitted to stray too far from her mom's s-mothering.

While Joy contemplated the possible etymology of the word smothering, wondering if it really was a knock on mothers or just a weird coincidence, the 4Runner topped another rise on their ascent up the mountain. The blizzard eased as their vehicle plunged into a tunnel of white-barked, zebra-striped quaking aspens that crowded close to the road on either side. When they emerged, constellations of light winked at them from out of the darkness.

Trees, bared to their winter skeletons, draped in Christmas lights designed to mesmerize a driver's eyes, populated the sidewalk. Quaint stores, eateries and enough bars to serve all of the University of Washington's Greek Row bunched together as if huddling from the cold. SUVs, Subarus and the occasional snowmobile crowded the curb.

There was a word for it. Quaking was... cute!

"Where," Cade said. The word broke Joy's reverie. "--are you staying?" His accent was indistinct, but he had a kind of Westcoast clip to his words. Maybe he was from Seattle. Maybe she should ask.

"A motel." She was glad for the distraction--she'd been teasing the man about having a crush on his teacher. Had anyone known what was going on with her, turnaround would've been fair play--and far too close to truth for comfort. Joy looked back to her phone. The signal had come back just as Christmas light wonderland had come into view. "Let me check." She swiped through a half-dozen screens to her reservation.

"I'm guessing this is it. The only motel in town." Cade flicked the 4Runner's blinker on.

"The Igloo Inn?" Joy meant it as a statement, but it came out of her mouth sounding like a question.

"Yup," he said. By the time Joy had looked up at the 'no vacancy' sign with its spastic vee, Cade had already turned into the lot. The inn looked a lot like an out-of-place inner-city motel that fathers never wanted to find their daughters in. A quick scan showed that most of the cars in the lot sported ski racks. Nor did she see any freezing, mini-skirted, cigarette-toting women huddled under the awning.

Now just because you can't see them... Joy mentally groaned. Shut up, Mom.

Cade pulled up under the snow-buried awning while Joy gathered her stuff together. She stepped down from the 4Runner.

She clutched her open ski jacket about her. She shivered. It was cold! Jack Frost biting off your nose, cold! She was so glad she'd not had to hike in this. Cade came around with her bags.

"Can I help you with anything else?"

"I should be alright."

"Walk y' in?"

"No." She actually wanted him to--anything to spend another moment with him. The thought of never seeing him again was already dragging her down, but she wasn't in the market for a white knight and there was no point in leading him, or herself, on. The odds of her ever seeing him again were somewhere in that non-existent space between nada and zero.

"Wait to make sure you get checked in?"

"I'll be fine." Joy strove for a pleasant tone. She was grateful for his help, but she really didn't need babying. She had a reservation. She'd been carrying her bags on who knew how many trips and it wasn't like the door wasn't right there. The lights were on. And fortunately, now, her crushing was giving way to saner thoughts. The man was being a little aggravating--almost like he didn't want to leave her either--which--friggin' a--hello crush. He was not making walking away easy.

Cade hesitated, like he had more to say. Or like he felt some masculine need to protect her. Who taught men that shit? It wasn't like there were sabretooth tigers stalking the parking lot. He visibly struggled with himself--and lost?

"Okay. Be seeing y'." Cade started towards the driver's side door.

Joy twitched her hand at her waist in a mini-halfhearted wave. She gifted him a tight smile. "Thanks for the help." She was bummed he was leaving and aggravated. God, her brain made no sense sometimes.

"Yeah. No problem."

Ugh. Joy hated it when guys said that. She turned to go, but something stopped her. Perhaps it'd been her dumpy day. Perhaps it was her rollercoaster mood. Perhaps it was Cade. Joy screwed up her courage and voiced her complaint. "Um," a beat pulsed, "actually... It was."

Cade had the nerve to look perplexed. "Uh... What was what?"

"I thanked you for helping me with my problem, and you said, 'No problem.'"

Cade must've heard the challenge in her tone. He blushed--apologetically? "I just meant it wasn't a big deal. I was going this way. Anybody would've helped."

"First off, it was a big deal to me! Maybe you'd have enjoyed it, but I wasn't excited about hiking an unknown distance in a blizzard at night. Even if I didn't one-hundred-percent absolutely need help, I was certainly glad it arrived. Two--anybody didn't help me. You did. And I'm grateful. Or--" Joy emphasized the word. "--I was."

Cade scanned his boots before his gaze climbed back to her face. Whisky gold locked on aquamarine. "I am sorry. I didn't mean it that way." He paused. "You, Joy, are welcome."

Joy detected no sarcasm. Still holding his gaze, she said, "Thank you."

"N--" He interrupted himself. "You're welcome."

Joy didn't know Cade from Cain. Joy didn't understand why him trying cured all the ills of her day. The warm glow of victory, and something else, suffused her chest. God help her, she was crushing so bad.

Warning! Ride Service Driver

Joy

Joy's senses tripped all over themselves. She was outside herself and inside herself. Wet, languid heat curled in the wake of kisses on her ear, collar, breast, core and crease. Simultaneously, spice, fire and whisky stroked her tongue to tongue. She was naked. Her fingers were tangled in the elastic of her pajamas. He was pressing into her. She was so empty.

Joy bowed like a structural member under impossible strain. A whimper tickled her ear.

The tired heater rattled as it kicked on. Joy's concentration cracked. Sleep evaporated. The visage of haunting, molten, whisky eyes faded with it.

Joy's limbs were akimbo. The bed covers were kicked back. Her fingers were indeed tangled in the waistband of her pajamas. They, and her bikini briefs, were pushed down far enough that she could touch herself. Those same briefs were damp and, now that her phantom lover had fled, cold.

A sigh that in no way proclaimed pleasure pushed up from Joy's chest. Light spilled between the cracks of the blackout blinds. Chill that the tired heater couldn't push back kissed Joy's flesh. Red liquid crystals proclaimed it to be nine-thirty-four. She had six minutes before her programmed wake-up call. She should've been up sooner, but after her late night, Joy had figured she deserved her rest.

Joy pinched the bridge of her nose with the hand that hadn't been fingering her launch button. Cycling a few breaths, she pushed off the bed and wandered over to the heater. Noting a smell akin to burning dryer lint, she cranked up the thermostat another few degrees. A static jolt hit Joy so hard when she touched the dial that she saw the arc from the case to her nail. She hissed in pain and sucked the abused finger. Turning to the dated bath, Joy fumbled herself into the shower.

And joy of all joys, at least the water was hot. Fifteen minutes of scalding bliss returned some of the life to Joy's stiff limbs. The last time she'd felt so warm was when she and Cade had kissed pavement together.

Ugh. Was it really possible to miss a man after so little time together? She'd been crushing when they'd parted. The man had rubbed her wrong once or twice, but it was clear he'd also rubbed her right. Had she spent any more time with Cade, she might've done something to embarrass herself. But she really kind of wished she were going to see him again. It still bugged her that he'd been so cold when he'd introduced himself. What had that been about?

Joy exited the shower and rifled through her duffle bag. Nearly everything that wasn't her freshly packed winter clothes had been worn at least once. That wasn't such a problem with the AR clothing required of her profession. But it would've been nice if the material closest to her skin felt a little more Downy fresh.

Downy fresh? No. Summer. Fir. Woods. Spice. Those were the scents she really wanted. The warmth that stole over her with that thought rivaled the shower.

Joy blinked, shaking her head to clear out her daydream. Cade on the brain was distracting. Joy would have to find a way to erase him from her memory in order to be effective at work.

She sighed, resigned to layering work wear over a turtle neck and wool socks that, even layered, weren't going to be able to keep the chill out of her Red Wing work boots. She didn't have an arc-rated coat, but she was going to wear her ski jacket anyway. She'd just have to pray she made it through the week without a polyester melting event. She'd never witnessed one yet and she was glad for that. She'd just finished tucking in her ARC button-down when her phone rang. Joy glanced at the clock. Ten-o-two. Given the different time zones, Steve was in early. Well, for Steve.

"Joy, where are the prints?" he said by way of greeting.

A witch's cauldron burbled low, low in her gut. "What prints?" She knew exactly what prints. Joy prayed she was wrong.

"What do you mean, what prints? The Marina prints!"

An image of mud-puddle-splashed redlines dumped in the passenger seat of her Subaru sharpened in her mind's eye. "They should be in the project folder on the shared drive."

Steve's voice took on an edge. "The redlines, Joy." Joy could picture him pacing in his office. "I need the redlines. Marina Municipal wants them."

Joy sighed. She sank to the bed. Her shoulders hunched. Not only did it feel as though the Titanic were sinking in her gut, but someone might've tied an anchor around Joy's neck as well. "They're in my car."

"In your car? What are they doing in your car?" Steve's voice had climbed to a decibel just below a shout.

Because you left them in Marina? Because I got in at five a. m.? Because I barely slept? Because you threw me under the bus and I flew out here no more than a day later?

Joy's voice climbed a register. "Because I forgot?"

"God damn it! We need those." There was a long pause. Joy could actually hear him pacing. "Where's your car? At your place?"

What the? What'd he think he was going to do? Break into it? "It's at SeaTac."

"You didn't shuttle? Fuck, Joy! Parking's expensive. Costs the company a lot. I need those prints." Every word felt like a blow, like she was a piling being driven into the mud.

"I'm in Quaking, Steve. What do you want me to do?" Joy almost hoped he'd ask her to come home, but then there'd be no chance of seeing the cute parts hot-shot driver again.

Or maybe she'd be ordered to start this trip over. At the very least, she'd be able to do laundry in the comfort of her home and see the cute hot-shot driver. Maybe. Kinda likely.

Probably not.

Joy's fantasy ruptured. She'd never see him again, no matter what happened. What were the odds, like lightning striking thrice? Zero, rounded down?

Steve's lead-laden sigh hissed over the line. "You'll be gone a couple of days. A week, tops. I'll think of something," Steve said as though thinking were a burden. "Tell those dickwads in Marina they'll have to leash their bitches or somethin'." There was a pause. "Fuck!" The line went mercifully dead.

Bowed by enough weight to flatten Atlas, Joy stared at her phone. It gave her only a moment's peace before it pinged in her hand. Twenty-seven texts. All from her mom. All since Joy'd texted to announce her safe arrival the night before.

Without reading them, Joy shoved her electronic collar in her hip pocket and went to feed the black hole that was growing in her belly. Unfortunately, the complimentary continental breakfast was not anything to write home about. An unsatisfying meal later, Joy found herself on her phone again.

"It's on the road to Quaking."

"North twelve-thousand-and-four-hundred-twenty east?" the woman representing the rental agency said.

"I don't know the street number. It's the only road to Quaking."

"Why'd you leave it there?"

"I told you. The cv axel failed." Repeating herself was so much fun.

"We're going to have to charge you for towing."

"I didn't wreck the car. The car had a mechanical failure. That's your problem. If anything, you should be giving me my money back," Joy said. Challenging the woman made her skin itch, but it wasn't her fault!

"Ma'am, I cannot authorize a refund."

Joy leaned an elbow on the rickety dining area table. She pinched the bridge of her nose. "I need a car. Preferably an SUV. I'll need it delivered."

"Where are you at, ma'am?"

"The Igloo Inn. Quaking."

"There'll be a delivery fee, ma'am."

Joy held her breath and counted to three. "Your car broke down."

"I can't verify that, ma'am. Per your contract--"

A gaggle of skiers tromped past the dining area. Among their laughter, boots and the occasional bang of equipment against a much-marred wall, the woman's diatribe was lost. Joy's attention followed the ski ripper troop out the door and onto a shuttle. She wondered if Cade skied. His 4Runner had the rack, but there hadn't been any skies. Would he be up there? At Moose Mountain? Would she see him? Ugh. She was obsessed.

When it'd quieted, Joy asked, "When can you get me a car?"

Typing sounded over the airwaves. "The earliest we can get you another vehicle is tomorrow at ten. Shall I charge your card?"

Joy pinched the bridge of her nose so hard her fingers bit into the flesh. "No. Forget it. I'll make other arrangements." Joy disconnected.

Joy then called Kathy at the front desk of MMI, Inc., vented her car problems and extracted a promise that she or Steve would take care of it. Her shoulders relieved of one nightmare problem, Joy returned to her room for her laptop, prints, books, tools, hardhat, and ski jacket. Maybe she'd Uber. A bluebird trilled in her chest. Maybe Cade would pick her up? Was he a hot shot and ride service driver?

That actually made sense. The businesses were similar. If he was, she'd have to paste his tight ass with her mother's warning label. Warning! Ride service driver. Hard up. Might take you to a park. Joy coughed a weary laugh at the thought. The way she was crushing, she might've given him five stars. However, ride services probably didn't operate up here on a dead-end road to nowhere. Ski shuttle it was.

Dont Eff With Me

Cade

Soft, deep, powdery snow flowed beneath Cade's skies with a steady shush. Last night's blizzard made for rad ski conditions. Given that he currently 'worked' for Moose Mountain's maintenance man, Randi had arranged for Cade to hitch early lift rides. Thus, Cade's were the first tracks. He'd taken a few runs before work. Now he was cutting over to the Summit Lift job site. The day was white with light and bluebird bright.

Frustration clutched his sternum like a fist. It was not the sun that blinded his vision but the mere memory of a supernova smile. The fist tightened. Her name was Joy. His wife's--his ex-wife's--pet name. Cade had burned his I'm so Happy, I'm with Joy! T-shirts for a reason. Cade's chest was tearing. He was going to have to work with her, Joy, a woman who, without trying, had eclipsed his every thought. It had taken more than a year of working side by side with Heather for their professional distancing to break down. Joy had bridged that gap with a look. Introducing himself as 'Hawthorn' had been a last-ditch effort to establish propriety. Without meaning to, Joy had ripped that defense into confetti, too.

Cade arrived at the lift and traded his ski gear for a hard hat and steel toes. He took a moment to call Mary, the owner of the stables near his home outside Sun Valley, Idaho. He didn't technically own any horses yet, but he'd paid Mary for mare and stud services. He rarely could go two days without checking up on April and Athena--'his' mares. Mary was used to his calls when he didn't just come down to the stables. They'd become friends of a sort. He suspected Mary might be open to more, but he was not. He'd just geared up when his cell rang. Randi's screen name popped up.

"Cade here." His expulsion fogged his phone.

"I've got four electricians from--" There was a pause. Cade could hear Randi talking to someone in the background. "--Mountain Industrial Services. They say they're here to do a job for you?"

"Yeah. There's a lot of wiring left to do on this lift. Can you get them up here? With their tools?"

Cade couldn't make out the background discussion over the phone. After a minute or more, Randi came back on. "I can bring them up in the snow-cat."

"Any chance we can get a snowmobile for a parts runner?"

"I'd have to bend some rules."

That wasn't surprising. The resort probably didn't want anyone driving who wasn't an employee. "We're gonna need to. Maybe one of them could get a safety orientation or a driving test?" Cade said.

"I can arrange that. It might not be today."

"Cool. You're a lifesaver."

"Anything else you need before we load up," Randi said.

"The bottles."

"Got them."

Cade's mind drifted to Joy. Her smile would've eclipsed even the bluebird sky. "Is the integrator here?" Cade's voice sounded gruff.

"Integrator?"

"Her name's Joy. She'll be programming the lift controls." Cade hoped Randi couldn't hear the odd mix of longing and fear discoloring his voice.

"Ah. No. Not that I know of."

"'Kay." Cade's thumb moved to hang up.

A quarter-hour later, Martin, Jake, Kyle, and Brandi arrived on the snow-cat with Randi. While Cade walked Martin through the job, Jake and Kyle busted out materials and tools. The apprentice, Brandi, tagged along with Martin taking notes. Her questions were insightful. However, Cade couldn't help but look askance at her hard hat. It proclaimed, "I'm here to work. I have a boyfriend. Don't F with me!" in big black, stenciled Sharpie letters.

A feeling like gravel in a cement mixer ground around in Cade's chest every time he read that. He found it impossible not to read a whole "men are jerks" vibe into her words. Yet, at the same time, it was screwed up that she'd probably needed to point out, possibly even scream, those words on construction sites more than once.

Why had God made it so hellaciously hard for everyone on both sides of the fence? He thought of the woman who hadn't arrived yet. Hellacious didn't begin to describe what Cade feared working with Joy was going to be like. He felt bound to her, like an errant moon falling into her orbit. Yet, he'd already put his foot in his mouth with her. How many more times would it take before she wanted to haul him off to HR, even if his situation made him mostly immune? Maybe she'd have a "Stay away from me" stenciled on her hard hat, too. Hopefully, that would remind him to keep his distance.

Cade shook his head to clear it of his dark thoughts. Work tour complete, Martin lined out his crew. He assigned Brandi the control wiring. She spread out in the control room, pouring over prints and taking notes. She might've been an apprentice, but she knew her controls. That was a good testament to both her and her mentor.

Cade punched up Jasper's number on his phone. They greeted each other and got down to business.

"I'm telling you, Jasper, there's several days' worth of work before the equipment's even installed."

"I got you electricians. It doesn't take you that long to assemble a drive."

Cade started for the drive room so as not to disturb Brandi and her studies. The call dropped the moment he stepped inside the accidental Faraday cage. Cade retreated. Redialed. He picked up with Jasper right where they'd cut off.

"The hold-up won't be the drive, Jasper. I just walked the job with the electricians. I know I told you none of the field wiring was done, but none of the field wiring is done."

"Define none. I was hoping you were... exaggerating." Jasper sounded tired. Maybe the babies had kept him up late. Or his babe. Jasper's wife was the whole package, whatever that meant.

Was Joy the whole package? Ugh. He had a job to do and it didn't entail drooling all over a coworker.

Cade said, "Power wiring. T-leads. Control wiring."

"Control wiring! All of it? Aren't the cabinets wired?"

Cade scrubbed a hand through his hair. "Yes, but everything outside them isn't."

Jasper breathed a nearly inaudible word. A second cycled and he said, "That's not us. We can't do anything about it."

"Except wait," Cade said. "You landed good electricians, but Jasper, this is going to take a while."

"What about the integrator? What'd she say?" Jasper said.

Integrator. Cade wondered if Joy'd integrate slot A with tab B. Shock shorted Cade's pacing. Joy wasn't even present and his mind was completely submerged in a quagmire. "I haven't asked her. She's not here yet."

"Well, ain't that just great! They said she would be."

"She's probably dealing with her rental. And trying to find a ride up here."

"She's not at the lodge?"

"Igloo Inn. Down in Quaking. About five miles."

"And what's that about her rental? Her car?"

"Uh-huh. Cv joint busted. Her diagnosis. Not mine. I don't know that much about cars. Found her on the side of the road in the middle of a blizzard with no reception."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah."

"Is she okay?"

Okay? She was undeniably fine. A nine out of ten on his personal, I want to plow that meter. A ten out of ten would be like, well, if he was honest, her. Eleven out of ten. "Seemed to be."

"Is she hot?"

A million thoughts whirred through Cade's head, including how inappropriate the question was. All were obliterated by the memory of Joy's smile.

When Cade didn't answer, Jasper asked, "Is it going to be a problem?"

Heartbeats cycled. "Cade?"

Cade combed a hand through his hair. He pivoted away from the wall he'd been facing. A woman with aquamarine eyes blocked his path. She was by no means short, but she'd tilted her white hard hat back. She scanned his face.

Like him, she wore jeans and a beige ARC-rated button-down. The front of the shirt was tucked under a cowgirl belt buckle but was otherwise loose about her hips. There was no way, no how, that should've looked sexy. No one could look that sexy in beige. But Joy did.

"Cade? Answer me, man!"

Cade watched in trepidation as Joy's bite-me lips turned down in a scowl. With her upturned nose, it looked more like a pout. Anger turned the aquamarine in Joy's eyes to diamond.

"You knew who I was? You knew we were going to be working together? Why didn't you say something?" The words had an unhappy edge to them. Joy took half a step forward, putting her within kissing distance. Not that Cade would've dared. In that moment, Joy looked capable of spitting dragon fire.

"I thought you were a hot-shot driver." Joy waved her hands. "Or--or--I don't know! When'd you figure it out? It was when I said my name, wasn't it? That's why you were all, Mr. Hawthorn." She threw out her arms expansively as though her words couldn't express the enormity of her hurt. "What? Did you think I wasn't going to figure it out? That I'd somehow not see? All this time, I thought I was never going to see you again and you knew we were going to be working together. You could've said something. Anything!" Those last words were delivered on a crescendo of raw feeling. Cade's chest ached from the pain he heard in them.

Cade's attention flicked to Brandi's hard hat. Brandi made no pretense of avoiding his gaze. The tumbling, sandy, cement truck-grinding emotion in his chest hardened like concrete.

Into the receiver, Cade said, "Hell if I know."

***

Cade sat on an overturned bucket. He stripped off his Red Wing boots. Along with his hardhat, he shoved them in a corner with his tools. It was too much of a pain to bring everything up and down the mountain every day.

So, thinking, Cade jammed his feet into his ski boots and cinched them up. He clomped out to the snowbank where his skies resided. Martin and the team had already crammed into the snow-cat. Joy was trying to wedge herself into the too-crowded space without sitting on anyone's lap. A little green goblin whispered in his ear. He wanted to be in there so it would be his lap Joy might deign to sit on.

Cade tore his attention away from Joy. He adjusted his pants, easing the ache that spawned in his groin. Every time he was near Joy, every time that she was in his line of sight, his gaze locked on her like a targeting laser. Her hair. Her eyes. Her curves. Her ass. It hadn't been that way with Heather. Was he really that hard up? His dick sure thought so.

But he was fascinated with Joy. That was for sure. But why was difficult to ascertain. Hot mess were the wrong words to describe Joy.

Yet, hot, most definitely fit. Cade was not the only one that had noticed. The electricians, Martin, Jake and Kyle, had all hastily redirected their gaze one time or another while she'd been poking around in the PLC cabinet.

But, mess, or even an uncharitable airhead, bimbo, fool, fit too.

Joy was older than most integrators. Many control engineers her age would've had a position with a major, high-paying manufacturer or working on partner at a firm. Yet, she was scrambling like a kid two days out of school. She flipped through the prints as though she'd never seen them before. No person could've memorized that much information, but Joy acted like they'd been handed to her yesterday. Worse, she clearly didn't have a complete narrative. Joy inspired about as much confidence as a lame swayback on a racetrack. This would not be a seamless startup.

But--whatever. Cade dropped his skis and kicked in. It was time to have fun. He pushed off with his poles and carved a fresh trail with his skies through the trees towards the base of the mountain. Cade saw no reason to wait for the team. Martin knew tomorrow's priorities. He caught a lift back up the ski slope and waved at the snow-cat as he passed.

Two hours of powdered bliss slipped by under Cade's runners. Used to an early pampering, his stomach eventually demanded attention. Cade put its grumbling off another ten in order to stow his gear in his suite. He didn't just want dinner. He wanted to remove himself from the worksite. The lodge was too close. So, despite hunger's complaint, he bypassed Rocky's Bar and Grill on the ground floor of the lodge, exited Bullwinkle's lobby and headed for his 4Runner.

Cade pulled up short of the portico doors. The time was late. More than two hours had passed since the end of the work day, yet Joy paced just inside the air curtain. She had pinned a phone to her ear. Her stride was swift. Her posture stiff.

"Steve, I can't get them. The redlines are in my--"

Her pacing jerked to a halt. Whoever this Steve was, he'd interrupted Joy. Joy brought her free hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose. Was that a ring on her finger? How had he missed that?

Like magnets, their eyes connected. Joy's face scrunched up into a 'who pissed in my cereal' expression. Cade's heart should have beat but didn't before Joy tore her gaze away. She turned towards the wall, dropped her voice and hid behind a curtain of her hair.

"Do you want me to come home?" Joy said into the receiver of her phone.

Cade's heart plummeted. Home? Was Steve a boyfriend? Fiancé? Husband? How was that even his business? This job was going to take forever. But it might've actually been easier if she weren't present.

So why did it feel like Ragnarok in his chest?

Because he was a dumb fool, that was why. Cade shrugged on his ski coat and stepped outside. He made it halfway to his car.

"Cade! Wait!"

An unexpected shiver crawled up his spine at the sound of his name. He turned to face the woman with the angel voice. As Joy hurried up to him, Cade's heart developed a palpitation.

"Can I get a ride into town? To the Igloo?"

Cade's heart surged. Of course. Would love to. He had to will away an idiot grin. "Sure." He was so utterly eloquent.

Joy gifted Cade a tight smile. Her visage was pinched, but some of her sunshine blinked through. "I'm sorry. Thank you. I'm not normally like this. It's just that..."

Cade beeped his 4Runner to alert Joy of its location. They climbed inside.

"I take it the car is not fixed." Cade poked the push-start ignition. "How'd you get up here?"

"Ski shuttle."

Cade eased the 4Runner out of the near-empty parking lot. "Don't take this the wrong way, I don't mind driving, but it's almost eight."

"I know. Wi-Fi. Ski shuttle doesn't return for another hour." Joy heaved a leaden sigh. "My boss is being a total dick." Her cheeks pinked ever so slightly. "Sorry."

"Not a problem." He paused. "Can I say, 'not a problem'?"

"Yes." Joy rolled her eyes but smiled at him. She might as well have hit him over the head with a two-by-four with the way it affected him. He had to focus every remaining scrap of his attention on the road to keep from swerving.

"Anyway, my boss sent like a gazillion emails about a million things that he needs, like, now, as though he doesn't even remember he assigned me to this startup on Monday. He won't shut up about these prints from a job we did in Marina."

"What happened with the car?"

"Steve was supposed to arrange another car."

The 4Runner had dipped into the grove of quaking aspens that separated Moose Mountain and the town of Quaking. The ski-slope floodlight glow faded behind them. Joy pushed the curtain of her tresses behind one ear. Cade's attention darted from the road to her hand and back. There was definitely a ring, but only one band. Perhaps engagement? It was not capped by a diamond. Something dark. Amethyst maybe? But it was the heart finger. "Who's Steve?"

"My boss."

Boss! Cade suddenly had a keen insight into the excitement behind what might be uncharitably called a teen cheerleader shriek. It took all Cade's will to keep his next words grounded. He still didn't know anything about the ring. "What happened?"

Joy rolled her shoulders. "He got busy. Didn't care. Forgot. I don't know." Joy's voice dipped with every statement until "I don't know" made Cade think of rain.

"So--" Cade held the sound of the syllable for a moment. "--another shit day?"

"Yeah," Joy said. She combed her fingers through her tresses. "When do they stop? They seem to be multiplying. I thought they'd stop, you know, after graduation, after my career got started. There should be a rule, only two shit days per week after turning thirty." Joy vibrated. A pink tide momentarily blistered her cheeks. Her eyes darted to the dash and back.

Cade bit back a laugh. He couldn't help the smile that tickled his lips. "Yeah. I could get on board with that. How many are you over quota this week?"

Joy's grin, the smile that should be banned, lit up her face when he almost laughed. "Four days--two over quota. Marina. Then, that meeting. Steve dumped this job." Exasperation tainted the timber of her voice. "My mom." Joy's phone vibrated and she scowled at it. "Oh God, my mom! Is she ever going to stop?" Her expression seemed to beg Cade for an answer. "I'm thirty-three and she's always going on about husbands and babies and ride service drivers." Joy let out a muted groan.

This time, Cade couldn't help it. A bark of laughter erupted. "Ride service drivers?"

Joy rolled her eyes so hard that Cade was surprised she didn't pull a muscle. "She's convinced they're rapists. Never mind that half of them are women."

Cade fell silent. Joy filled the empty air with her chatter.

"That alone would be enough to ruin anyone's week, but, fudgenuggets--" The expletive came out explosively. Heat rose in Joy's cheeks. Apparently, Joy was a blush Olympian. Perhaps it was her fair skin. "--it didn't stop. The airport. And the car. Well, you met the car. And oh-em-gee! It's cold!" She nibbled her lip. "I wish I'd had time to pack more cold weather clothes," she muttered.

Joy let out a sigh that fluttered her locks. "Ugh. Sorry." Joy raked her nails through her hair again. "I didn't mean to dump on you. You didn't need to hear all that."

"You were in Marina--" Cade paused, reviewing what she'd revealed. "--four days ago?"

"Yeah."

"Marina, California?" Cade said.

"Yeah."

"Was it a job? A startup? Over Thanksgiving?"

Joy shot Cade a look that seemed to ask, where's this going? "A yard waste grinder at their municipal dump."

"You live in Seattle?" Cade's words were less a question than a request for confirmation.

"North side. Everett, actually. My office is in Bothell."

"You flew from Marina--"

"San Jose." Joy gave Cade another perplexed look. "But, yeah, essentially."

"That was four days ago and now you're here?"

"More like three. I got home at five a. m. Monday morning."

It was Wednesday. Cade's estimation of this woman was rapidly escalating. "And this Steve, your boss, dumped this job on you--" He paused. "--like when?"

"Uhm, yesterday? No. The day before yesterday. Monday. It's all kind of a blur."

Cade upended every uncharitable thought he'd had about this woman. Things weren't starting out smooth on the job, but that couldn't be laid at Joy's feet. "And he didn't have a control narrative for you?" It wasn't really a question. Cade had seen.

Joy hesitated. "No?" She ducked her head.

Cade changed course. He suspected he'd triggered a loyalty crisis. He'd witnessed them in Heather with anything having to do with her boss. "Let me guess. You never unpacked? Did you even get to see your fiancé?" Why the hell had he asked that? It wasn't his business. What would he do with the information anyway?

Joy blinked. "My fiancé?" Cade detected a wtf note in her voice, yet his heart soared.

Cade saw no good option but to forge ahead with his stupidity. "Your ring."

"Oh." Joy touched the offensive jewelry with her thumb. "My birthstone. One of them, anyway. Dad gave it to me." A strawberry might've envied the color that painted Joy's face. She stripped the ring from her finger. "I--uh--sometimes wear it on my left hand when I travel to ward off the jerks. Even comes in handy when looking to buy a car."

"Does it work? When it's not diamond?"

"Not always. But I don't think that's the ring. It's the jerks. Also, I don't want a diamond engagement ring. Diamonds are so... predictable. Makes it kind of boring. Be creative. If some guy's going to marry me, he needs to make me feel special, not ordinary. Anyhow, I can pretend."

"But diamonds are forever." Incredulity seized Cade's brain. How dumb could he get? He'd gotten Heather a diamond. They'd not been forever.

"Nothing's forever, Cade. Everything that starts in time will end in time. Bodies crumble. Memories fade. Personalities change. Diamonds break."

"Huh, that's an interesting perspective. I'm guessing I would've been boring. I'd have gotten a diamond."

"Well--" A heartbeat pulsed. "I'll give you points for honesty." Joy slipped the ring back on her finger.

Cade's stomach tightened in a knot. Electric energy rattled his nerves. Was there some kind of message in the fact it'd gone on her right hand? No. Probably not. There wasn't even a possibility. He was too old. She was too young. Well, not too young, but too young to be interested in Cade. He was not a millennial. Joy most definitely was. For the first time, possibly ever, he wished he were younger.

The 4Runner rounded a bend. Quaking's holiday constellations came into view. Flashing red, like Rudolph's nose on a strobe blink, lit up a distant parking lot. It took a moment for the Christmas illusion to dissipate.

Cade pulled up to the curb across from the Igloo Inn. Fire engines filled the lot. A crowd of rubberneckers cut off the entrance. A significant portion of the inn's façade was blackened. Right of the entry, a charred chunk of the roof had fallen into a room.

"My room!" Joy's exclamation popped out like a shotgun blast.

Cade's attention snapped to Joy. Joy's eyes bugged out like marbles. She threw open the car door. Cade leaped from the 4Runner. His body blocked Joy before she could run into the street, not that there was any traffic.

"My clothes!" Joy tried to push Cade aside.

Cade grabbed Joy by the shoulders. An electron jolt fried his every nerve. Shaking off the weird rush, Cade said, "Joy, they're gone. At least for tonight. Even if any survived, we won't be able to retrieve them until tomorrow, at the soonest."

Joy's gaze burned a path from the charcoal ruin to Cade's face. Her fear shifted towards frustration. Cade took a step back. If a woman's eyes could roast a man, Joy's just had.

"I have one pair of underwear. It's an effin' thong!"

Dick Envy

Joy

"I'm sorry, ma'am. We are all booked up."

"Friggin' a!" Joy slapped a hand over her mouth. A thundercloud, the third in the past hour, formed within the confines of her chest. I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry again. It felt like a hornet had jabbed her right behind her eyes. She was going to cry! Joy blinked hard.

She didn't cry. Thank God. She was so worn out. It was getting hard to keep her emotions reigned in. Cade probably thought she'd stopped maturing at age thirteen or something.

"Um." Joy scanned the concierge's nametag and tried again. "Tyler, any chance we can move some people around? You know. Move some families together. Because of the fire at the Igloo?"

Tyler extinguished the flicker of hope that had birthed when she'd first had the thought. "We've already asked for volunteers, ma'am. Shuffled around as best we could. We're all full up. You might find an opening at Wolf Mountain."

Joy tucked her hair behind her ear. "That's kinda far. Is there anything closer?"

"I'm sorry. There isn't. Outside of Quaking, Huntsville's the closest town."

"You know I'm actually working on the new ski lift, right?" Joy said.

"I know it's not ideal, ma'am, but some of our employees commute from Ogden. Normally I'd be able to do something... But this--" He waved a hand at the crowd, milling aimlessly about the lobby.

Joy bit her lip. It looked like her option was to do Steve's job, get herself a car, find a hotel an hour or more down the mountain, sleep less and get chewed out for spending too much of MMI's money. She could give up on this impossible mission and go home, but her self-esteem, and possibly her career, would not survive the blow. She could sleep on a park bench--if she could find one under all the snow. Maybe she could rent an RV or something like that? Joy gnawed her lip. She didn't like her options.

Cade, who'd been standing quietly aside, pressed the palm of his hands into his eye sockets as though he were steeling himself to announce the granddaddy of all bad ideas. When his hands came away, he looked directly at Joy.

"There's a spare bed in my suite. There's a door between rooms. We'd have to share a bath."

"Really?" Joy said the word, careful. Her impulse had been to squeal. She could and would stand on her own feet. She liked Cade--a lot. But once upon a time, she'd shared a suite with James when they'd gotten stranded. She'd had a crush on him too. Look where that had gotten her--abandoned at the altar, tag teamed at P&C by James and his prior ex, labeled a bitch when she went to HR for help, PTSD, a mother turned Momzilla and a job working for Steve. If she didn't solve this, her next job might be barefoot in Seattle. The way her mother wished it.

"Really. Do you want it? It's yours if you do."

How could she refuse?

Refuse? Really? Oh my God, was she going insane? When had she gotten too proud to accept help when she needed it? That probably had to do with Momzilla. But it wasn't like she'd burned down the inn or sabotaged her car. Cade wasn't treating her like a damsel. He was offering help where help was wanted. She'd just asked for help from Tyler. She was pretty sure Cade would have helped any of the electricians, even Brandi, in exactly the same way.

Joy mentally rolled her eyes at herself. Help was way appreciated. "Okay. Thank you." She forced a smile. It was nothing like her full-on, couldn't help herself, joy explosion that sometimes overtook her, but it was the real thing.

Something flashed within Cade's whisky-colored eyes that made like a hot slinky slipping through Joy's core. "No p--" Cade halted himself with visible effort. He untied his tongue. "You're welcome."

Feeling burst over Joy like a glitter bomb. This was the second time he'd corrected himself. For her. It'd been a whole day since she'd voiced her displeasure. A man--this man--had heard her. Was he actually real? Joy pinched herself. Joy couldn't remember the last time a man had been so attentive. James hadn't been. Cade was trying for her. Her smile did the whole joy explosion thing.

Cade's pupils contracted to pinpoints as though he were momentarily blinded. Something stirred within her. Joy told her crush to stay down!

Forcing her attention back to Tyler, she asked the concierge, "Do you have toiletries? Gratis?"

"Of course." The young man stepped around back. He returned with a small plastic bag containing the bare minimum essentials, which included, great, pads that Joy prayed she wasn't going to need on this trip. She grasped the proffered bag to her chest. Pitiful though it was, it represented a significant addition to Joy's available possessions. Not even all the clothes on her back belonged to her. Her ARC-rated garments belonged to MMI, Inc.

While Joy contemplated her beggared state, Tyler printed Joy and Cade new key cards. "Here you go, Mr. Hawthorn, ma'am." He handed them their keys. Joy shouldered her laptop and anchor-weight backpack library.

"Okay. Thanks... um... Tyler," Joy said. The man had been a help. Sorta. She did understand there were a lot of other people without rooms.

"No problem. Have a good evening."

Ugh. The words were a disease. They'd infected ninety-nine-point-nine percent of the population.

Joy followed Cade away from the counter. As soon as they cleared the mob of displaced hopefuls, he dropped back a pace to walk beside her.

"Any chance you've eaten?" Cade said at the exact moment Joy's stomach elicited an embarrassing gurgle.

"Food? Nope." Joy popped her P. "What's that? Not since breakfast. I had a whole banana yesterday." Was she flirting? No. Of course not. Fire barbequed Joy's cheeks.

"You're joking?"

"Not at all. Well, there were rubber eggs and stale bagels at the Igloo Inn this morning. But, yup, I'm on a starvation diet." Her gut burbled again. The fire in her face heated. "See. Hear that. My stomach's eating itself."

Cade laughed. Within Joy, miniature fireworks went off. She'd done that. She'd made him laugh. It might've been the first time she owed her stomach a thank you for its otherwise mortifying behavior.

"Well, then, come with me. I'm hungry too. We'll get you something to eat."

Like a date? She'd almost said it, just to see how he'd respond. Like, as a joke. But no. No. Nope. Because what if he'd said, "Yes?" That would've been a disaster. The last time she had dated a man at work, the dream had ended as a nightmare. No matter how her heart trilled at the idea of dating Cade, she did not want to walk that path again. Given that Cade probably didn't live in Seattle, getting left at the altar would be the least of Joy's miseries once her mom found out. Seattle, man, pregnant. Or Seattle, pregnant, man. Or maybe just Seattle, pregnant. Those were her mom's demands. Joy was better off not even hinting that the thought of dating had crossed her mind.

***

The lock beeped. Cade pushed the door open and stood aside for Joy. The space that greeted Joy could've swallowed her Silver Lake apartment.

"Wow." Joy dropped her library backpack in the coat closet. Her backpack made the solid thump of a sack of concrete hitting the floor. A bolt of jealousy burned through Joy when she laid eyes upon the pile of ski gear housed in the closet. "They treat you--" So, this is what it's like to be a man. "--well." Did she have dick envy? Rattlesnake ire coiled in her belly. She did.

Cade followed her inside. In the kitchenette, Joy ran her fingers across a countertop, checking to see if it was real granite. It was. Across the hall, the bathroom door was ajar. A quick glance confirmed it was at least as big as her apartment's living room. There was a walk-in shower and a jacuzzi tub. So what if someone over five-three would've had to fold in half in order to fit in the tub? It was the principle of the thing.

Cade said, "I'm a special case."

Joy hitched a hip and turned to face Cade. The warm whisky in his eyes threatened to swallow her. Oh-em-gee, she could drown in that. She wanted to drown in that.

"How so?"

"I'm retired." Cade raked a hand through his close-cropped crew cut. Despite the saltpeter in his sideburns, his hair was significantly darker than his eyes. Joy's fingers flexed as though they craved a sample. She wondered if his locks would be as soft between her fingers as they looked. "Was retired?" Cade said. A confused expression flit over his face.

"Am retired," Cade said more forcefully. "Jasper, my old boss, called in a favor. I--" He shrugged. "A paycheck would've messed with my benefits, so, well, this."

"You're retired?" Joy wandered deeper into the suite. A second bedroom hinged off the main bedroom's sitting area. She guessed it to be the 'kids' room for the typical tenants--her room, in this bizarre situation. Cade had clearly claimed the Californian King in the space beyond the sitting area. There was a charger and a mountain of books on the nightstand. A large duffle was kicked up beside the dresser. There was a television screen that would put some small theaters to shame. "You don't look old enough."

Cade shucked his envy-worthy jacket. Joy was certain he'd been much warmer than she at the job site. Her jacket was good for keeping her warm while moving, skiing. His would keep him warm while sitting. Engineering entailed a lot of sitting.

"I'm forty-eight."

Forty-eight? Really? Still, not old enough. "Don't you get bored or something?" Joy wandered deeper into the room. "You have a hot tub?" Joy exclaimed. She pointed towards the balcony.

"Yeah, well. Skiing. Tubing. Alcohol. That's kind of a thing." Cade fetched a couple of eight-ounce glasses. Crystal clinked on the granite countertop. Cade filled a glass with ice and held up a bottle of bourbon. "Want one?"

Joy glanced at the bottle of amber liquid. She decided Cade's eyes were a shade darker, a shade more beautiful. She'd had a Kentucky Breakfast Stout with dinner. She shook her head. "Nah. But..." Joy trailed off. Her gaze wandered back to the deckside hot tub.

"Wear a redneck bikini." Cade's tone was flat. His attention was upon the drink he was pouring, but Joy thought his tanned cheeks might've darkened.

Heat simmered within Joy like liquid sunshine. Her chest tightened. A hot drip pooled in her core. Panties and bra as swimwear was an illicit suggestion, not a bad one. "I've got one redneck bikini... as you call it. I'm not keen on steeping it in chlorine. Not until I have another."

Cade scanned Joy in a long, heated sweep, snagging, once or twice, in inappropriate places. A candle wick heat kissed Joy's cheeks, but the rash Steve's visual groping conjured was oddly absent. Cade made her feel like she was deep into a college crush. The proof? The near-constant tides of heat, both in her core and her cheeks. Cade put down his glass. He strode over to the dresser and pulled open a drawer.

"Pick one. Or two. Three. Whatever." He gestured at the folded tees. Most were an unadorned black. A few had more color. "Take whatever you need."

A smile twitched on Joy's lips. She selected a safety orange tee with some crane company's logo. "Thank you. But as much as I'd like to, perhaps I should just take a shower." Joy lifted her face and feathered a kiss onto Cade's jaw.

Joy's flesh lit on fire. She'd kissed Cade. What had possessed her to do that? She'd not meant to do that. She certainly hadn't chosen to do that. Not rationally. Joy tried not to run as she fled to the bathroom. When he didn't stop her, Joy glanced over her shoulder. Cade was petrified as rock solid as Michelangelo's David. His eyes had turned into dark, glassy orbs. The look on his face was--what? Shocked? Horrified? Enraptured?

Joy ducked into the bathroom. Of all the ditz moves she could make. He was a coworker. Joy was not doing another James. But she'd kissed him. She'd made it to the bathroom and she was still on fire. A trickle of heat wormed its way between her thighs. She slicked. A wave of exasperation washed over Joy. No kiss. No feather light peck on the cheek should've left her wet.

But thinking about it certainly wasn't cooling her off. She pulled the shower on. From the look of the cloud that the fan couldn't evacuate, it was blistering hot. Just the way Joy liked it. She dropped her ring on the bathroom counter; it had a tendency to tangle in her tresses when she rinsed out her hair. Then she stripped for what promised to be the most blissful hour of the day.

A half-hour later, the seemingly endless, welcome, wet heat finally unthawed Joy's flesh. She'd shaved--because no way she was going to show Cade some leg with three day's stubble. Something akin to a sun-heated spring coiled in her core and her fingers--

What the? Joy ripped her fingers away from her soap-slicked start button. A sharp throb pulsed from the slick bud at the apex of her juncture. Her core clenched. A shockwave rippled through Joy's flesh, its epicenter low in her womb. She groaned. Part pleasure. Part exasperation. The jolt did nothing to release the electric buzz in the little bundle of nerves that tormented her. Rather, she was now being treated to an empty ache.

Unwilling to finish with Cade on the other side of the door, Joy killed the water and stepped from the shower. Joy washed her panties in the sink and hung them on the shower rack to dry. Perhaps she should take them to her room. The leather-clad seductress caged in the deepest recesses of Joy's mind preened at the thought of Cade finding her sex-me thong. Why she'd packed them was beyond her. She'd probably been possessed--by her mom. But that's why the thong had been clean post-California. Not even Joy's inner succubus could've possessed Joy to wear a sex-me anywhere she was in danger of encountering Steve.

Wrapped in a towel, Joy finished her bedtime routine. She inhaled the scent of Cade's shirt before she slipped it on, because who wouldn't? The shirt smelled of detergent with just the slightest hint of summer, fir and an addictive scent that could only be Cade.

Cade was well above average height for a man. But so was she for a woman. Cade's shirt hit her lower on the thigh than some of the micro minis she'd worn in college. Still, her girly bits were going to be playing a naughty game of peek-a-boo if she wasn't careful. Joy pulled down the hem and padded for her room.

Joy needn't have bothered--with pulling the shirt down, that was. Cade was on his bed with his nose buried in a book. His brow furrowed when she stepped out of the bathroom; however, his gaze did not rise from the page. Joy felt--disappointed.

Why? Because she was a fool, that's why. Men ogled her. That's what they did--even when it distressed her. Now that a man, the man that had Joy all hot and bothered, wasn't, she was kind of put out. Go figure.

Joy paused at the door to 'her' room. "Good night, Cade."

Cade's brow furrowed. "Night." His scrutiny of the pages before him did not waver.

Joy gnawed her lip. It wasn't like she was trying to strut her stuff, although she actually was, but what would it take to make him look at her? Was he not attracted to her? Like she was to him? She wasn't ready for the night to be over. Not that she wasn't tired. She was exhausted. It was just that--well, Cade was in here--and she didn't want it to end without seeing if he was as affected as she. Why that was important was beyond her. She'd already said no to the dating impulse.

"Um... Thanks again." Joy's fingers fidget with the hem of her--Cade's--shirt. Should she drop something? Not that she had anything in her hands. She'd have to go find something to drop. Oh-em-gee, her thought process was so messed up. "I really appreciate it."

"N--" Cade's eyes flicked up and snagged on her bare thighs. He licked his lips as though English had evacuated his brain. "You're welcome." The words came out guttural.

A bubble of joy burst in Joy's chest. He'd looked. He'd liked. And although n--your welcome had become his new catchphrase, he was trying. Joy appreciated the effort. "Night." A satisfied smile tickling her lips, Joy closed the door.

The History of Suckiness

Cade

The unconscious, fuzzy warmth of sleep faded. Cade pried his sand-gummed eyes open. Beyond the glass wall that led to the suite's balcony, Moose Mountain fell away in bumps and swells. Its creases overflowed with leafless, quaking aspen. Stars and the ghost glow of the moon glimmering on snow were the only light piercing the pre-dawn night.

A sleepy smile tickled Cade's lips. Stars above, it was beautiful. But not even stars could hold a candle to the light that radiated from that woman when she smiled. And that woman was currently the girl next door.

Cade's wood wilted. A dank cloud settled upon his soul. It always started that way. Every time he fell hard, right before some woman shattered his whole world, wrecked his very sanity, he'd put her up on some godawful pillar of princess innocence.

The proof in the pudding? He'd wilted at the thought of jacking off. It wouldn't matter how bad he jonesed for Joy. His body would wither every time he tried to relieve its stress. No image. No porn. No slut dream would work. Not until she stepped off the pedestal he had put her upon and then, God help him, it'd take all his will to stop.

Cade needed this job done, like now. Spending a week working in close quarters with a woman like Joy would be akin to a prison sentence in hell. No lifetime ski pass was worth the agony she was going to inflict upon him without even realizing it.

Cade wrestled his body around until he no longer looked upon the starlit view. He tried to force himself back to sleep. Just as the void was about to swallow him, a gasp jolted him awake. It sounded like pain. Or tears. Or pain and tears.

Cade strained his hearing. Only the cycle of his own labored breath greeted him. But the tension, the anxious fear, would not bleed away. The suite was black. Nothing seemed amiss.

Another groan. Cade's heartbeat stuttered. The utterance had sounded more like pain than tears. It'd come from the neighboring room.

"Joy?" he asked in a whisper.

No response.

He was being an idiot. Joy probably wouldn't have heard that if she'd been sleeping next to him. Cade pushed himself to a sitting position. The entry to Joy's room was obscured by deep shadows. "Joy?" This time, the word came out louder, but a note of uncertainty, even fear, was detectable.

Silence answered Cade.

Cade rose and padded across the floor to Joy's door. The voice of sanity screamed for him to stop. He could not. She might be in trouble, although he couldn't imagine how. A nightmare he shouldn't intrude upon. But what if she had some sort of injury? What if she'd gotten frostbite on the job site? That could be serious.

The door hadn't latched. Sometime during the night, it had popped open a hand-width or so and Joy's room was black beyond the entry. If Joy hadn't selected his safety orange tee for a nighty, she would've been invisible within the darkness that shrouded her bed. But the shirt practically glowed in the window-filtered starlight. She was sprawled face down with the covers kicked aside. Joy's rich, mahogany-colored hair was done up in a loose braid. His tee was really too short as a nightgown. In her sleep, it'd rode up past her hips. Despite the shadows, the image she presented would be branded in his dreams until his dying day.

Cade made to look away--to back away. His attention snagged when Joy's fingers flexed. They'd barely moved. A heartbeat cycled. They relaxed again. His heart rose into his throat and strangled him. Cade backed away. He froze in place when Joy's fingers flexed again, grasping the bedsheet in a loose fist. Cade willed himself to look anywhere else. Before his eyes complied, Joy ground her pelvis against the mattress. Cade's heart wrung itself out with a strangled beat. A tiny quake shivered Joy's flesh. A muffled moan issued from somewhere in the proximity of her pillow.

Fight or flight kicked in. Not really. Flight kicked in. Cade backpedaled. His heel caught upon the edge of an easy chair. He went down, hit the edge of the couch, bounced and crashed to the floor.

Cade didn't wait to see if he'd awakened Joy. He was off the floor quicker than a jackrabbit, vaulted the couch and hobbled to the bathroom because, God help him, he wasn't forty anymore. He latched the door, praying it wasn't too early to be up.

Four-fifty-two a. m. Cade flipped on the light. It was early for his new retirement routine, but five, even four-thirty, would've been sleeping in only a year prior. Praying the exhausted woman he'd aided the night before wouldn't be too put out by his early morning routine or connect it to her open door, Cade pulled on the shower. He stepped in a moment later, cussed and jerked down the skin blistering temperature his guest had left it at.

It was then that he noticed the panties hung out to dry on the towel rack. They might've been simple white cotton, but if that was a thong, it was channeling stripper floss.

Cade throbbed so hard he hurt. Joy hadn't just stepped off her princess pedestal but grabbed a brass pole and wound herself about it as she slipped down. He wrapped a fist about himself. Cade's entire body quaked. Pleasure ripped through him. He groaned. The noise no longer mattered. Joy could've had her ear to the door for all he cared. He had to come. It took every atom of his being not to sob Joy's name when his release freed him from his agony.

***

Razor pain accompanied every sponge-wrung heartbeat of the day that followed. Cade forfeited the bulk of his morning ski excursion. He directed the power wiring. Joy directed the control wiring. Heads together, they poured over prints. He was not the only man who struggled to tear his stare away from the jeans hugging her palmable backside. Martin, Jake and Kyle were good guys, but every time he caught their guilty gaze, Cade wanted to growl. He needed to get away from Joy. His sanity depended upon it, yet nothing less than a threat to her life could've torn Cade from Joy's side.

He did manage to ski to and from the job site, only because there was no room in the snow-cat. But he'd used every excuse he could think of to wait until she'd climbed onto the vehicle before hitting the lift. He was waiting for her when she arrived at the job site. Resignation flooded Cade's soul. He recognized his behavior. It'd taken him more than a year to act like a love-struck puppy with Heather, but after that, for a time, his behavior had been similar. He was in so much trouble.

"Cade," Joy said as they were putting up their work gear. They'd not fit, but she'd borrowed his glove liners. They were thin enough that she could type. Claiming he wasn't cold, he'd wrapped her in his jacket as well. She'd tried to give it back more than once. When she'd left it on a chair while shivering in her own ski jacket, he'd put it back on. There was no point in them both freezing.

Cade tamped down his elation at hearing his name on Joy's lips. "Yeah?"

Joy's cheeks were colorless with cold. Her voice was stiff with it. "Can you give me a ride into town? I know you want to ski, but--"

"Sure!" Cade blurted. There was no reigning in his eagerness to spend more time with this glorious woman. "Of course."

Joy shot Cade a speculative glance. He wondered what she saw. Love-struck puppy, most likely. "I need to--um--shop. Buy gloves that I can work in and fit. See if I can find a better coat."

Relief flooded Cade. Maybe she wasn't on to him. "Let's put our stuff up and we can go. Wanna grab a bite in town while we're out? Rocky's will get old after a few days."

Despite being stiff with cold, Joy's face split into another one of her face-rending smiles. "Sure. That'd be great. Could we also stop at the inn? See about my clothes?"

"Of course."

Thirty-five minutes later, they pulled up to the Igloo Inn. Caution tape roped off the motel's entrance. They hopped from the 4Runner. A bored sentry rose from his plastic chair and approached them from the other side of the tape.

"Can I help you?"

"Is there any way I can get my clothes?" Joy's gaze traversed to the worst of the fire damage. The roof had caved over one window. The exterior wall was blackened. The damage extended to the neighboring rooms. Still, the bulk of the damage seemed to be localized to that one room. Despite the crisp chill in the air, an odor of burned polyester stung Cade's nostrils with every breath he took. Joy's lips turned down.

"What room were you in?"

"One-eleven."

The attendant's attention turned over his shoulder in the direction Joy'd been looking. "Fire Marshal's not done with that room yet. But..." He trailed off.

"But what?" Cade asked. Joy was biting her lip. It would've been dick-throbbing but for the worry etched on her face. There was a stiffness to the way her shoulders moved. The cords of her neck stood out in sharp relief.

"You're not going to want anything from that room. It'll forever smell like smoke."

"Gawd--" The word came out on a rising crescendo. Joy spun in a tight pace, taking a stride in one direction, pirouetting and striding back to the spot she'd just vacated. She clawed her temples. Cade feared she might draw blood.

Cade stepped up beside her to do who knew what. He misjudged the distance. She slammed breast to chest when she spun. He turned his face just in time to avoid a forehead in his nose. Instinct banded his arms about her.

"My clothes." Joy's fingers fisted in Cade's red plaid Ariat button-down.

"We were going shopping, remember? So, what if it's for more than a coat?" Cade squeezed her by way of encouragement. "It'll just take a little longer." His body reveled in her feel. But it shouldn't have. Joy was distressed and here he was, getting off from the way their bodies fit together. Guilt nibbled his soul.

"It costs money! This job's costing me more than I make."

There was a note in Joy's voice that made Cade think that her distress might not actually be about money. "There'll be insurance. And MMI should help out. The fire happened on their watch." Her next statement allied his thoughts.

Joy sniffled. "I can't do this." She'd buried her face in his shoulder. Cade's heart rate accelerated to a racehorse gallop.

"Yes, you can."

"When's it going to stop?"

"Never tellin' with the runs."

There was a beat while Joy sussed out his words. "Oh my God!" Joy coughed out a wet laugh. "That's so messed up."

Cade choked on a chuckle. He coughed. "Kind of like this?"

"Yeah." She nuzzled her face in his shoulder, likely smearing snot all over him. She was warm. And soft in all the right places. Her hair smelled of lavender. Cade felt a stab of regret when Joy pushed off. Cade could've lived a happy eternity as her hankie. She wiped her eyes on a sleeve. The motel sentry gave them a bemused grin.

"Sorry 'bout that," the man said.

"Yeah, I know," Joy said, still scrubbing the teary mess from her face. "I'm a wreck." She smiled weakly. "Not your fault."

"Know that." He shrugged. "But..."

Silence hung on the end of the sentence. Joy spent the moment to compose herself.

"So, what happened?" Cade asked the attendant.

"Don't know yet."

"Any speculation?"

"Heater element shorted. There was a pile of lint. Crisped. Probably a nest. Likely a mouse. Improper ground."

"That'd do it." Cade had once seen a mouse crispy-crittered in a crude pump starter that'd taken down an entire oil refinery. He said so.

Joy gaped at him, her watery, aquamarine orbs wide. "No way, really?"

"Yeah. Mouse got caught between a power lug and control transformer fuse contact."

"That probably sucked."

"Not for long. It was a forty-one-sixty volt starter."

"Ouch."

Cade chuckled. "Yeah. Shall we go shopping?"

"Yup." Joy gifted Cade a weak smile. "Thanks--uh--"

"Skylar."

"--Skylar." Joy granted Skylar a smile so bright it would've eclipsed the sun. Cade had to beat down the raging green monster that threatened to rip from his chest.

"Do you have an idea when I should check back?" Joy waved a hand towards the blackened room. "Who should I get in touch with?"

"You could try management tomorrow. But really, like your boyfriend said, there should be insurance. They'll contact you sometime?"

Joy turned the color of a sailor sunset. Her head bobbed as she tried to hide behind the curtain of her hair. "He's not--we're not--we just work together," she blurted. Joy dodged around to the passenger side of the 4Runner. "Thanks for your help," she squeaked and let herself into the car.

Skylar raised an eyebrow at Cade. "I just thought..." Skylar had a thing with incomplete thoughts. "... because you two. You know."

"Yeah, I can see how you'd get that. But she's right. We just work together." Which sucked more than anything had ever sucked before in all the history of suckiness.

Cotton Thongs

Cade

Cade located an outlet mall off Quaking's main drag. Levis, Nike, Carhartt, Adidas, J Kara, Vince, Outdoorsman, Old Navy and numerous others crowded all four sides of the parking lot. Christmas constellations blazed from winter-stripped trees. Rock salt crunched under the treads of seasonal shoppers as they hustled from store to store. Without the sun, the mountain air had taken on a bitter chill. Every breath tasted of ice.

Joy had been resigned to re-wearing her one set of ARC-rated clothing day in and day out. Carhartt solved that problem while eating her credit card like a cracker. It was worth it. The heavy, winter ARC-rated coat was going to be a total lifesaver.

But that meant less of her budget for evening wear. Not that she needed cocktail dresses or anything. Still, it would be nice to wear something that didn't look like she'd just walked off a construction site for dinner. She selected an Outlet Warehouse to fill the cauterized holes in her traveling wardrobe.

"You ought to get a bi--uh--swimsuit." Despite the hitch in his words, his tone suggested nonchalance. "For the hot tub."

Joy shot Cade a tight smile. The collection of barely-there swimwear, on display by the aisle they were traveling, was upwards of a hundred dollars. Further back, there were suits that covered more for less, but why punch another hole in her budget when, as Cade had suggested, a redneck bikini and tee would do. There was no way she was not luxuriating in that hot tub.

"My budget is already in cardiac arrest and I still need luggage, socks and, you know--" His lips quaked with mischief. "--underwear." She made a hard right and squeezed her cart down the too-narrow aisle of the next section. Cade fell back a step and trailed after. If he was fazed, he didn't show it. She grabbed a ten-pack of Finetoo off the rack and held them up, turning to tease Cade.

"You know you don't have to follow me. I know men get uncomfortable wi--" Joy's voice faltered.

Cade's hands were in his pockets. His posture was relaxed. His expression was entirely blank. His lazy survey sauntered from the package in her hands to her face. Cade's expression might've been void, but the whisky in his eyes was aflame. Joy's gaze jerked to the package in her hand.

COTTON THONGS

WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR

G string thongs for women

Comfy

95% Cotton

5% Spandex

And on the bottom of the package, under a picture of a woman whose waist wouldn't have looked overdressed beside a stripper pole, ten pack.

Not bikini briefs.

It was as though a small star had birthed behind her sternum. The searing pressure grew until Joy thought she might burst. Joy turned towards her cart so she wouldn't have to see the expression on Cade's face.

I should put them back.

I need to put them back.

This is not professional.

They're so not practical!

Joy's hand shook as she placed the package in her cart. Mom would've been proud of her if she'd done that with a man in Seattle. She jumped when her phone buzzed in her hip pocket. She fished it out. One glance at the screen and the jittery excitement churning Joy's core took a nosedive.

"Hi, Mom."

"Joy Ava Hauk, are you avoiding me?"

Joy resisted looking towards Cade. She moved her cart towards the bras. "I'm not avoiding you, Mom."

"You haven't called."

"I work, Mom." Joy couldn't keep the sour note from her voice. Cade arched an eyebrow in her direction.

"Have you thought about what I said?"

Joy grabbed a pack of cami bralettes that she knew would fit. Socks, warm ones, and a duffle to tote it all home in after the startup was all that she had left on her list. Joy turned the cart for the main aisle, but with her phone to her ear, Joy caught it on a rack.

"Here." Cade nudged Joy aside. He took the cart from her. Their hands brushed. A cool rush washed over Joy.

Joy repressed a shiver and mouthed, "Thank you."

"Joy?" her mom said. "Joy? Are you there?"

Joy forced her attention back to her phone. "I don't remember what you said, Mom."

"About Steve, honey." Two days ago, it'd been the Titanic sinking in her gut. Now the Titanic's plus-sized sister, the Britannic, was going down. She ducked her head so Cade couldn't see her expression. She raked her fingers over her scalp.

"What about Steve?" She practically choked on the words.

"About dating him, honey."

"Mom!" Joy blurted. She lowered her voice. "I'm not going to date Steve."

"Why not? Is he married? I didn't see a ring last year at that picnic you dragged me to." She meant crashed. Joy hadn't dragged her mother to any of MMI's social events. "I checked."

Of course she had. Joy yanked her attention off the floor. It rubber balled about the warehouse store. Joy blinked, trying to force the tears of frustration back. Joy's gaze landed on Cade and her world tilted back on its axis.

"I'm not having this conversation."

"Joy, you can't avoid this forever."

"I shouldn't need to avoid it, Mom. It's my life!" Her voice cracked like a whip.

"Joy--"

Her mother was never going to listen. If she had her way, she'd have Joy bed the next eligible bachelor she encountered, provided said bachelor lived near Belleview. Her heart didn't get the last part of the memo and voted for Cade. Yeah, Mom would love that. Realigning heart with reality, Joy said, "Bye, Mom."

"Jo--"

Joy swiped left. She marched through the remainder of her shopping. When her phone rang again, she put it on "do not disturb." Yes, Mom, I'm now officially avoiding you! They made their way to the registers. Cade emptied her cart while some forty-something began ringing her up.

Cade said, "Trouble at home?"

Joy growled. "You have no idea."

"You interested in sharing? There's no danger of me spilling." Cade graced Joy with a self-deprecating smile. "I've been told I don't listen."

Startled humor slipped from Joy in a happy trill. The cashier snorted, echoing Joy's own sentiments. The cashier's attention kept rising to Cade's face every time she rang something up. Her too-blatant ogle dripped over his shoulders and chest like hot syrup.

A green goblin stoked a fire in Joy's chest. The cashier was older than Joy, a little frumpy, but Joy had little doubt that the woman could rock a look if she weren't dressed as a check-out. The woman needed to keep her vagina eyes to herself. Joy forced her attention to refocus on what Cade had said.

"A woman tell you that?" she said to Cade. The goblin chuckled. Joy pinched her eyes closed. What was wrong with her?

"Yup." Cade tossed the Finetoo on the counter.

Joy's mind jumped from the cashier to some blond bomb Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. "You still with her?" The words burnt her throat like chlorine gas. Her arteries circulated razor blades in place of blood.

"Nope." Cade was gathering bags. He didn't seem to notice Joy prying her fingernails out of her palms.

"Well, consider me warned." Joy embraced a moment of emergency meditation. The fire in her soul banked. She probably ought to give Cade something to clear her sulfurous mood.

"I'm a bad daughter. I didn't get knocked up right out of school."

"Huh."

Huh? "Just huh? That's all?"

"Can anyone apply for the job?"

The cashier blushed candy apple red as she rang up Joy's Finetoo.

"What? No!" She whapped Cade's shoulder with her clutch. "Only husbands can apply." Joy smiled in spite of herself.

"You mean like..."

"Huh?" Joy blinked at him. "Ew. No. Gross. I meant..." She shoved him. Cade fake staggered and laughed. Something light and airy swelled in Joy's chest at the sound.

"Hey, safety first," Cade said. "No horseplay on the job."

"We're not on the job." Joy stuck out her tongue. Her face split in a goblin grin.

"Glad to have you back."

Joy's brow knitted. "I didn't realize I'd gone anywhere."

"Your smile had."

"Well--" Joy dragged out the sound of her ells. "--glad to be back." She wiped a cheek with the back of her hand. She thought her eyes might be watering again, but this time for a happy reason.

"Good," Cade said. He gathered up her bags. "Let's go eat."

***

Twenty minutes later, they'd been seated in a restaurant booth. With its slate tiling, brass accents and polished oak countertops, the Elkhorn was one of those all-American bar eateries that Applebee's and TGI Fridays aspired to be in their wildest wet dreams. Cade had had a Philly cream-cheese steak sandwich that Joy had envied. She'd eaten a Greek salad that was equally inspired. She'd drunk a KBS from the bottle while he sipped Kentucky bourbon.

Cade was up from their table when her phone dinged. Not wanting to be rude, Joy glanced about to make sure he was not on his way back. He wasn't. So, she checked her phone. Steve's name popped in the bubble. Against her better judgment, Joy opened the conversation.

"Marina's not backing down. I need those prints, J."

Joy's thumbs danced over her screen, the words tumbling out almost as fast as if she'd been typing on a keyboard. Millennial. That was her bona fide millennial skill.

"I don't know what to tell you."

"Do you have a family member with a spare key? A BF?"

BF? Boyfriend or best friend? Was he snooping? It was hard to imagine Steve as innocent. For a moment, Joy felt like she might sick up her salad.

"No."

"KK."

Joy was about to put her phone away when typing dots appeared.

"What about your apartment?"

What the? "MY APARTMENT?!?"

"A spare key. Is there a spare key at your apartment?"

"My apartment is locked!"

"You could have the manager let me in."

Joy had visions of dishes in the sink, laundry, an unmade bed, two months of dust and Hank, a pink vibrator, in her nightstand. "You're not going to toss my apartment!!!"

"I need those prints, J."

Joy wanted to put her head in her hands. How was she having this conversation? With her boss? Some things should be inviolate. Like her home. Steve wanted the impossible. "Steve, it's been a long day. I'm tired. It's almost 8. I'm in Utah. I CAN'T help you." Leave me alone.

More dancing dots.

"I need those prints, J."

He was a recording with a stutter. Joy waited to see if he'd say more. When he didn't, she planted her face in her palms.

"Somethin' wrong?" Cade said. He slid into the seat across from her.

"Yes." She tapped her nail against the screen of the phone. "No." Another tap. She slouched lower in her seat. "I don't know."

Cade took a sip of his bourbon. All that remained was the ice melt, so it was probably more water than whisky. "Well, that's a non-answer."

Joy straightened and gifted Cade a tight smile. "Remember me telling you about Steve?"

"Your boss?"

"Yeah, him."

"What about him? Your mom mentioned him, too." Cade gave an apologetic shrug. "I overheard. Didn't mean to. You said his name."

It felt like there was wet sand in Joy's lungs. "Mom was just being Mom. Nosey."

"So what about Steve?"

"He was texting me. Office stuff."

Cade eyeballed the clock behind the bar. "Does your boss always work this late?"

Joy forced a lightness into her words that she did not feel. "Only when he can harass me."

"Perhaps you should report him."

Joy rolled her shoulders in a non-committal way. "He's harmless." It wasn't. He wasn't. But Cade didn't need to know that and it was easier not to deal. "It's office stuff. Stuff I can't do anything about from here. But he's like a dog with a bone and won't let it go. I didn't actually mean harassment-harassment." Was there any other type?

Cade's lips thinned. The whisky in his eyes iced over. Was he judging her? What had she done?

"You should report him." Cade's voice had grown as cold as his gaze. The ice hurt. Bad.

"I said it was nothing!"

Cade's voice softened. "Joy--"

She didn't want to look at him. She couldn't look at him. It wasn't like it was his business anyway. "I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

Cade rolled the glass in his hand. The golf-ball-sized ice rock within the glass tinked a tuneless melody against the crystal. He raised the glass to hover before his lips, but it was empty of liquid. After a moment, he set it aside. "Okay."

The silence became so thick a foghorn couldn't've shattered it. Cade broke first.

"My wife--my ex-wife had problems with--" Cade's shoulders expanded. "--a man at work. She--"

Joy interrupted. She didn't usually do that. Not a man. Especially not to a man she worked with. She wasn't sure why she dared do that this time. Her voice was gentle but no less firm. "I said I don't want to talk about it."

Again, silence descended. Again, Cade spoke first. It wasn't to her.

"Check, please."

***

The ceiling stared down at Joy, filling the entire field of her vision. She and Cade had not spoken on their way back to their--his--rooms. Nor had she soaked in the hot tub because a redneck bikini, especially one assembled from a shoestring thong, was not the good idea it'd seemed earlier. So rather than soaking in hot bliss, she was in her bed, flat on her back, staring at the ceiling. The smell of crisp, clean linen was not a comfort.

Her phone lit up the room. She dragged it from her nightstand. Sabrina's contact ballooned on her screen.

"Hey, GF. You there?"

Joy scrolled back up the conversation. This was not the first time in the past few hours Sabrina had tried to check in on her. A gap in the storm clouds shrouding Joy's heart broke open. Starlight filtered through. The wind-lashed waves gentled. "Hiya B."

"Can you talk?"

"Yeah. Don't call tho. Just text."

"Okaaay. Why?"

Joy's thumbs bounced on the screen so hard it sounded like she was throwing pebbles at a window. "I don't want the DICK next door to hear me."

"Are the motel walls really that thin?"

"Hotel. His room."

"UR IN HIS ROOM?!?"

"Yes. No." Joy's thumbs tap danced. "Long story."

"Tell me!"

Joy did. Sabrina's response was predictable.

"So?" The dots indicated she'd begun typing again immediately. "You like this guy, don't you?"

Joy growled to herself. BFF? More like crime scene psychic. She shouldn't answer. She wouldn't answer. She answered. "Why do I ALWAYS pick dicks?"

"All guys are dicks, J. Sometimes. Did you ask him why he was being a dick?"

"No. Like, how would I even do that?"

"Like, yo, dick-man, why are you being a dick?"

Joy shook her head. "SMH."

"FWIW, it probably had nothing to do with you."

"How do you figure?"

"IDK. He said something about his ex-wife, right? Sounds like she got harassed. Maybe he punched a guy and got on the wrong side of HR?"

That, Joy could picture. Cade was no thunder god, but he looked like he could pack a wallop if he wanted to. "Maybe."

"Ask him."

Hope sparked under Joy's sternum. Small though it was, the candle glow refused to go out. "KK."

"TMG."

It took Joy a moment to suss out that's my girl. "ILY." She added a smile emoji.

"ILY2. Have fun, girl. Call me when you can." Wink emoji--wink emoji.

There was still light from under the door, suggesting Cade was awake. Joy slipped from her bed. She wiggled into a new pair of jeans, the pair with the pink sequined flower on the hip pocket. She'd not had a chance to wash them. They were stiff and not quite form fit. Armored in jeans and Cade's orange tee, she went to confront the dick.

Cade was on his bed. Like her, he was in jeans and a tee. The tee emphasized the wedge shape of his torso. His shoulders were broad. He was muscled, just shy of chiseled. He lacked the definition of a gym rat, as he was a man who exercised his mind far more than his body. Still, it looked as though he were no stranger to physical labor.

Cade looked up when Joy entered. He plucked his reading glasses from his nose and set a book on the bed beside him. Beach Read by Emily Henry.

"You read--" Joy moved towards Cade. She stopped on the border between the suite's sitting area and Cade's sleeping area. She perched her ass on the couch's backrest, facing Cade. "--romance?" Even she heard the surprised note in her voice.

His cheeks took on a ruddy color under his mild tan. "Sometimes." His chest flexed. He deflated. "Most times. I used to like science fiction, but my interests have shifted. I read for education, too."

Hmm. "Is that a good one?"

"Yup."

So informative. Might read women's books, but he sure didn't talk like one. It was Joy's turn to take a meditative breath. On the exhale, she said, "About earlier--"

"I'm sorry."

A spark of ire wormed its way through Joy's chest. It coiled like a cobra. He'd said he was sorry. Why did she feel so--Joy screwed up her courage. "Please let me speak." The ire riddling her chest flavored her tone.

"I'm s--" Cade snapped his mouth shut. He met her gaze and nodded.

"I am tired. I am frustrated." Joy cracked a brittle smile. "It'd be nice if one day, just one day, went my way. But I had been having fun this evening--with you. Why did you push me after I asked you not to?"

Cade looked down at the book beside him and chewed his lip. Something hot, like a trickle of lava, curled low in Joy's core. No. Nope. Not now. This shouldn't be happening. She was angry, not aroused. She forcibly refocused on her frustration.

Cade seemed to gather himself. His chest rose and fell. His gaze returned to her. "I've had problems at work. I just think that if there is an issue, you should say something."

"I've been dealing with assholes who want to put me in my place my entire career." The poison brewing in Joy's soul belched forth, caught fire and spewed towards the closest target--Cade. "Hauling one off to HR just makes everyone more tense. And I, not he, gets labeled 'the bitch' and then everything just gets worse."

Cade's focus drifted. "I'm sorry. I should've known. I read Athena Rising." The faraway look didn't leave his eyes.

Joy's brow knitted. She felt a little lost. Did this have to do with his wife? "Athena Rising?"

Cade's attention returned to the present. "A book for men mentoring women in a male-dominated profession."

"And what did it have to say?"

Cade snorted. "That it's not easy."

"That's helpful." Not.

Cade cocked his head at Joy's words, his expression thoughtful. "More than you might think."

"So, you read the book. But you still pushed me, you know, back at the restaurant. Why?"

Color crept up from Cade's collar like a red tide. Joy could see the effort he put into making his expression impassive and failing. "I harassed a woman at work."

Cade's words were like being dumped in the Puget Sound--cold. "You did?" No way. She couldn't see it. Actually, she could. He'd helped her. Twice. With her car. With her room. But he'd dick-moved, too. Had he gone all the way to harassment? Would he? Could he? Had he? "Really?" The word squeaked out on a crescendo.

"Really." Cade expression looked little different than jackhammered concrete. "Harassment's in the eye of the beholder--is it not? Some women want to fight. Some want to grin and bear it. Being on the other side of the fence, it's hard to know the correct course of action. Especially when she won't talk. Or when you can't hear--don't want to hear--don't understand--" Cade pinched his temples between thumb and forefinger. "--I don't know." Silence descended. Just when it seemed as though Cade would say no more, he continued. "It's impossible to know the correct course of action. Even when following the law, company policy and your conscience, you can still be the one that's shit on."

It really wasn't any of her business, but Joy couldn't help herself. Or maybe it was. Her business, that was. He was sleeping in the next room. Exasperation detonated behind her collarbone. Mom and her ride service driver paranoia! "What happened?"

Cade swallowed. Joy shouldn't have been mesmerized by the glide of his Adam's apple. "I should've seen it coming." His words were only just audible.

The silence stretched to the point of discomfort. "Seen what coming?" Joy pitched her words slightly louder than he.

Cade heaved a sigh. He spoke to his lap. "We were working so much. We barely spoke at home. There was no chance. No time. All we did was sleep, eat, work. We weren't even having sex--let alone making love. Too tired. Always too tired. Me and her."

Joy's world tilted off-axis. "Your wife?"

The bob of Cade's chin was so subtle that if Joy hadn't been studying his face, she'd have missed it. "You got fired because of your wife?"

Again, the nod. "Ex-wife." He paused. "Now. Not then."

"Oh." The contraction of her heart, or perhaps its expansion, she couldn't be sure, choked her. "That sucks."

"Tell me about it."

Ass Man

Cade

Despite the depressing topic of their conversation, Cade had to check his impulse to drool as Joy exited the room. Joy had a nice ass--no ski pants required. Some guys liked tits. Some guys liked legs. Joy had it going on in both departments, but for Cade, it was her ass.

At the door between rooms, Joy paused. The hitch of her hips as she turned to face Cade trapped his gaze and held him hostage for a heartbeat too long. Careless of page, Cade dropped his book in his lap. He was wearing Levis, and in the last three seconds, the button fly had grown impossibly tight. If he wasn't careful, Joy was going to catch him staring. Since the first moment, their relationship had two-stepped its way into undefined and Cade wanted to get along with the woman. He did not want another complication.

"Night, Cade." She smiled at him. Her expression was sweet--thoughtful--soft.

"Goodnight, Joy." He gifted her a crooked smile.

Joy beamed.

Ass man? Had he said he was an ass man? Not a chance. Joy's smile was everything. Cade could lose himself in her smile. He never wanted to not see her smile.

Joy's door clicked closed. Cade's world dimmed. After a few minutes, Cade realized he was still staring at the door, a stupid grin etched on his face.

Alarm hit Cade like a kilo-amp jolt. Joy was worse than a songworm. She'd gotten in his head and if he let it go on any longer, he'd never get her out. He needed to stop this--now. This was how it had started with Heather. Well, not exactly. His relationship with Heather had been softer, less intense, but it'd still started at work and look where that'd gotten him. Nasty job, fired, and all kinds of mad. Not that he could be fired this time. But he could be mad. Really, really mad. And heart-shattered. No doubt he'd be heart-shattered.

Worse, Cade believed in eternity. But not like most people. He figured heaven and hell might exist side by side. In his vision of the afterlife, Cade figured he'd have an infinite number of opportunities to encounter Heather. Even if he and his ex-wife spent only one second of every one-billion years together, that'd still equate to an infinite amount of time together. Eternity with Heather--Cade's very definition of hell.

Cade didn't want a second hell. He surely didn't want a second hell with Joy. The only saving grace would be an infinite number of opportunities to make things right. He figured he'd get that with Heather, too, but he couldn't bear to think of needing that with Joy.

A sigh deflated Cade's chest like a ruptured balloon. Eternity was a long time, but he'd not arrived at the whole forgiveness part yet--not that he hadn't tried. Cade read romance for the happily ever after. He needed it. The illusion of a world where women and men would communicate their differences, even when it hurt, appealed to him. But Cade knew better. He'd made his living as an engineer. Engineers could make machines talk, but not humans. He retrieved his romance from his lap and retreated to a world where women and men were brave enough to make things work.

***

Morning came sooner than Cade might've liked. Even so, Cade was used to operating on less than five hours of sleep. He'd been like that for as long as he could remember. Joy, however--

The bright aquamarine orbs behind Joy's eyeliner made her look alive, barely. She was staring into the coffee she'd loaded with so much sugar and cream it probably could've been lit on fire.

Note to self: Joy was not a morning person. Another reason for Cade to not get involved. Well, more involved. Morning was when Cade felt most alive.

"You're not eating," Cade said. He pointed at the yogurt parfait thing in front of Joy that wouldn't have fed a chipmunk. Thus far, she'd taken one bite and that was half his plate of biscuits, gravy, bacon and eggs ago.

"I'm not hungry."

Of course not, Cade thought. That much sugar would've ruined his appetite, too. Cade studied Joy. Her hair was down. She hadn't straightened it. She was out a flat iron. He briefly wondered how long it'd be before she'd hear from the Igloo Inn and their insurance adjuster.

Probably not anytime soon. But her hair? Cade liked it that way. The waves gave it body, character. He wondered what it would have felt like twined about his fingers, if she'd open those kiss-me lips if he gently tugged it.

Ugh. Joy worm again.

Cade's phone rang, rescuing him from his own thoughts. He wouldn't have normally checked it while he was dining with another person. Phones at the table were rude. Of course, Joy probably would've said such a sentiment was cute--or boomer. His own generation had been erased by millennial slang. What would they even call him? An exer? Shit, he was already Heather's ex. He didn't need to be a whole generation's ex.

Pretending his thoughts hadn't just run a lap around the values of millennials versus the corded phone generation, he slid right. "Howdy?"

"Hi, Cade. I didn't wake you, did I?" Joy's gaze lifted from her coffee. She'd probably heard the female pitch in the voice on the other end of the line. Cade had an irrational urge to turn away and lower the volume. He forced himself to stay seated. He had nothing to hide. He had exactly zero reason to persuade Joy she was the only woman in his life. "Hello, Mary. No. What's up?"

"Oh, good, that's a relief. I thought you would be, but I wasn't sure how you operated away from the cabin. I wanted to catch you before work."

"Mary--" Cade paused. "--is everything okay? How's Athena? April?" Joy's interest turned up a watt. She took a sip of her coffee as if to hide the fact that she was now giving him her full attention. Something about her had become more alert, alive. The barest hint of a rouge crept up her neck.

"Oh, they're doing fine. I wanted to let you know the vet dropped by yesterday. Athena's still scheduled to drop in March, but Vicky thinks April won't foal until, appropriately enough, this April."

"That's good." A smile bowed his lips. He loved his horses. Well, not his horses. Technically, they were Mary's horses. But Mary's horses were to foal his horses. "It'll let me knock a little of the rust off before I have two."

Mary laughed. It was a beautiful peal. Joy's lashes twitched. A deep shadow dropped to curtain the aquamarine of her eyes.

What the? Jealousy? Alarm? Not a chance. It couldn't've been. Could it? Not after last night's dick conversation.

"Cade? You there?"

Cade flinched. He'd been silent too long. "Yeah. Sorry, Mary. I'm here."

"Did I catch you at a bad time?"

"No. Yeah. Sorta. I'm grabbing breakfast with a--" Friend? Female friend? Because if he said friend, it'd go there. Friend was where his and Joy's relationship needed to go. Yet, Cade couldn't make himself want their relationship to go there. Mary was a friend, a female friend, and, unless Cade had lost all ability to read women in his time married to Heather, interested.

And Cade should've been interested in Mary. Mary owned a successful stable. She was smart. Her smile was brighter than Rocky Mountain sunshine. His age. His type. Or she would've been his type if he hadn't been so messed up over Heather and now Joy. Mary deserved better than second place, which was just another reason Cade needed to keep his distance from Joy. Joy definitely deserved first place in someone's life. Just not his. "--coworker," he finally said. Had the light in Joy's eyes dimmed when he'd said that?

"Oh, okay. Where are you again? Quaking? Building a ski lift or something?"

"Commissioning one, but yeah, that's about right."

"You'll be home for Christmas?"

"Probably."

"Good. I'll let you go. Come see your mares when you get home."

"Lookin' forward to it." Cade swiped left on the receiver. Was he looking forward to seeing Mary? Maybe a little. But if he was honest with himself, his excitement was for April and Athena.

Cade turned his attention back to his breakfast and his companion. Joy gnawed her lip. Her expression was pensive. Anxious tension rose within Cade. But by all that was hot, Cade would've preferred it to be his teeth on Joy's lip.

"Was that your..." Pink crawled up Joy's neck to paint her cheeks. She ducked her head. Joy's dark tresses shadowed her face.

"That was my breeder."

Joy pushed a long, dark tress behind her ear. There was an iridescent note in her voice. Hope? Fear? Joy? The look that ghosted over Joy's face made Cade's heart ache. With what? He wasn't sure. He needed to end this.

"Breeder? You have horses? Or..." She let the thought trail.

"Yeah, horses. But no. Not yet. I have first rights to foals from two mares."

Joy's smile grew brighter until it was flirting with supernova light. "April and Athena?" Joy radiated more beauty than the rising sun. Hadn't she looked like death warmed over just minutes ago?

"Yes. You like horses?"

"Love them."

"You ride?"

"Used to." Joy's smile dimmed. "Not much anymore. Macho died. Ran out of time."

"Macho? Your horse?"

"My aunt's horse."

"Ah. Your aunt teach you to ride?"

"Sorta. My dad was like the oldest of nine. I'm actually only a year younger than Aunt Isabell. I grew up in the big city, but Grandma and Grandpa lived outside of Puyallup. In grade school, I got picked on a lot."

"What? Why?"

"I was the cowgirl whose dad worked for Microsoft. I was supposed to be wearing Paige--Vince--not Wrangler."

Cade didn't even know what Paige and Vince were. Clothes, he supposed. "Kids can be cruel."

"I know. Right? I like to think that everyone just envied my pocket sequins."

Cade let out a throaty laugh. He'd certainly admired said sequins, or, at least, that which they highlighted. "Yeah, I can see that."

"What'd you get picked on for?"

"Well," Cade had to think for a moment. It wasn't that he'd never been picked on. It was that he'd just not cared--often. "I was the city-slicker in the village. Farming was more a hobby than a necessity. My parents were landed, white, but not Mormon. That's rare around here."

"You grew up here?"

"Not here, here. But Utah, yes. I was quiet back then. A loner. I seemed an easy target until everyone learned the loner wasn't lonely and just didn't care." That wasn't true anymore. Heather leaving had defined lonely for Cade. Joy was redefining the joy of belonging. The thought scared Cade.

"I wish I didn't care," Joy said, speaking into her coffee, her voice soft.

Cade wasn't sure she'd meant him to hear. Nor was he sure what he should do with the information. Cade's heart twisted like a nylon rope.

The rope burn ache was too much. Cade didn't understand this, their relationship or where it was headed, but Cade did understand that he was in trouble. He didn't want this, whatever this was. Joy was going to shatter his heart so thoroughly he might not ever be able to pick up all the pieces. Cade needed out before that happened. He needed to create some distance. It was time to end this. So, thinking, he changed topics.

"So, about last night."

The light in Joy's expression dimmed--grew wary. "What about last night?"

The shadow of regret passed over Cade's heart. He was being an ass and he knew it. It just was that, well, he had to end this. He was doing this for both their good. Cade steeled himself. "I still can't help but think you should--" Joy's face twisted into a thunderhead. He should stop, needed to stop, before it was too late. But this was Cade's one surefire way to keep Joy at arm's length. "--that you should do something about this Steve guy, report him or something."

A low note issued from Joy. It sounded like she'd growled. "And do you remember me saying I don't want to talk about this--that this is my problem, not yours?"

"I had a great job that turned into a shit job. I went to HR for help--not to get anyone in trouble, mind you, just for help. The entire office got wind of it. I became untrustworthy. I became 'the bitch.' I could not do my job without the aid of a team and no one wanted to team with me, so I had to quit. I kind of lost it for a month or two. Now I have another shit job for a shit boss and a mother that believes her daughter needs her life run for her. I have to succeed for me. Not for Steve, not for Mom, not for MMI. For me! There might be better jobs, better bosses, better careers out there, but there's also worse. I have to know I can do this--or what do I tell my next employer, 'Hire me, I can't do your job?' I'd actually like my job if it weren't for Steve."

Shit! Who had stepped on her so hard? Damn it, his heart going out to her now would not help him keep his distance. But she'd actually handed him a way to say what he believed and keep her at a distance. "That's why you need to report him!"

"Are you for real right now? Did you not hear me say, 'I became the bitch!'"

Cade knew he deserved to be ripped for what he was doing. He'd stuck his nose into the harassment business before. He'd come to suspect many women didn't like it--as though it was better to ignore it--or maybe handle it differently. For all he knew, they were right. Maybe they knew what he refused to believe. Maybe they knew the battle couldn't be won. He sure the hell hoped they were wrong. Maybe someday, somehow, someone would win not just the battle but the war and things would get better for everyone.

He tried to meet Joy's stare, but shame had him ducking away first. He certainly hadn't won a battle--let alone contributed to the war. Just as he broke eye contact with Joy, recognition flickered across her features. Hurt cut fissures through her stony expression.

"Don't do this." She said the words with tears in her voice.

For a moment, he was confused. Then an alarm claxon went off in Cade's head. He had started this to create distance. How had she read him so easily? Play dumb. That's what he had to do. "Do what?"

"This." There was no fire in her voice, just hurt. "Whatever this is? Whatever it is when you become 'Cade Hawthorn' as opposed to just Cade. You were nice to me. Like, really nice, and now you're being this. It's not you, and I know it. It's like you become a different person, a person who wants to push me away." The pained look she gave him made Cade want to kiss her, grovel and kiss her some more until he brought life back into her eyes.

"I'm not your ex-wife, Cade. I'm not going to eff you over. I'm not even with you. You won't let me get close enough. I thought you were my friend. If you don't want to be friends, just say so. I don't have to stay in your room. There are other options, even if they aren't great ones." The pain expressed by Joy's voice rivaled any he'd ever heard. She pushed her meal away and rose. "I--I'd like to be alone now. I'll see you at work."

I thought you were my friend, echoed in Cade's skull as Joy turned his back on him and walked away. He'd created distance between them--exactly what he'd been aiming for. Why had that pronouncement hurt so much?

Because he'd done it by being an ass. Joy deserved a 'friend' so much better than he. One that told her the truth. One that told her straight up that he was scared out of his mind instead of making her guess.

Cade's third eye conjured Brandi's hard hat. "Don't F with me!" That's exactly what Cade had been doing with Joy. He thought that perhaps he should find a Sharpie and write a similar warning where he couldn't miss it, right above the eyes that captivated him so much.

Red Neck Bikini

Joy

The tippy tap of Joy's fingers on the keyboard drummed out a steady rhythm. There were still no lights, no heat and no power at all. But the sun on the snow beyond the control room window drenched the room in blinding white. Outside, the electricians wrestled CLX into the line side of a pad-mounted transformer. Joy prayed the heater was the first thing they powered. Joy's new Carhartt jacket was a lifesaver, but perhaps tomorrow she'd feel something other than pain in the tips of her fingers. The North Face glove liners she'd purchased helped, but not enough.

Perhaps the pain was a blessing. It distracted her from the hurt in her heart--one heartbeat out of every few thousand.

The monitor of her laptop fogged when she let out an incautious breath. Her fingers never really breaking stride, she wiped the screen clean. She'd long ago mastered the keyboard shortcuts--menu hunt-peck, drag-and-drop, was agonizingly slow. This was what she did. This was what Joy excelled at. Rung-by-rung, the ladder logic populated the PLC program that would someday send skiers to the summit of Moose Mountain.

The door from the drive room opened. Cade came to stand beside the little rickety table they'd set up as Joy's workstation.

"You know you could probably do that from our room, or Rocky's, or something," he said. He did not look at her. His attention remained fixed upon the winter glory of the Rocky Mountains and the bluebird sky overhead. "No point freezing your ass off with the rest of us." His voice was as stiff as his posture, as though he were at war with himself.

Joy heaved an ice-laden breath. The monitor fogged again. "Steve wants me up here. Direct the electricians."

Cade sighed. His expression suggested he might be kicking himself in the ass. "What Steve doesn't know won't kill him."

Joy cocked an eyebrow at Cade. He didn't respond to it. She wiped down her screen--again. "Well, I'm up here now."

"How's it going?"

Part of Joy wanted to point out to Cade that he'd lost the right to ask questions. But she decided it was not worth it--not with the most beautiful man on this side of heaven standing three feet from her. Even agitated, it was like his aura whispered to her. And it wasn't like she didn't have a clue as to why he was doing this hot and cold thing. Ex-wife blues. She wondered what it was about herself that was making it so hard for him. Joy wondered how long it'd been. She wondered when the last time he'd gotten his rocks off with a woman.

Oh my God. Had her brain really gone there? Heat baked Joy. His rocks, his women, were not her business. Joy forcibly wrestled her mind back to the conversation.

"Slow." Joy studied the screen as though there was some secret hidden there. Maybe it knew the answer to life, the universe and everything. The cursor blinked back at Joy from ladder rung forty-two. "There's a lot of safety functions. Breaking. Reversing. Emergency operation."

Cade's expression remained as stony as the face of Mt. Ogden. He still hadn't looked at her. Joy clenched her jaw and waited.

His visage finally cracked. "I can imagine. What made you go controls?"

The noose about Joy's heart loosened a little. "A robotics class. I just--got it. Loved it. It fit, you know. I felt like I'd found my niche." Joy glanced at her lap. She pinched her hands between her thighs to warm them. "When I graduated, I gravitated to jobs that were--similar. PLC, DCS, CNC--" She paused. "--not the same, but close enough."

"Electrical engineering?"

"Mechanical."

"Ah. Robotics was electrical in my day." He fell silent. Joy wondered if he was calculating the delta in their respective ages. She had. It hadn't changed how badly she wanted him.

"What made you become a drive tech?"

"Got tired of the politics. Just wanted to do my job. I'm good at this. Nobody bugs me. Bugged me. I'm retired." A shiver sizzled up Joy's spine as a low chuckle rolled out of him. His gaze slid about the control room. "Supposedly."

He hadn't always been a drive tech? Now she was curious. "What were you before?"

"Engineer. Power. Controls. Doing what you're doing. Used to joke about that--" He flexed his arms in a He-Man pose. His voice grew deeper. "--I have the power and control."

Joy let a smile play with her lips at his imitation. "That's lame."

Cade dropped his arms. He began to pull on one of his safety gloves. "True. Didn't stop me, though. Guess that makes me lame."

A smile she couldn't still carved into Joy's numb, freezer-burned cheeks. "Guess it does."

Cade finally turned towards Joy. Stoney-faced or not, he looked haunted. "I," he said, "grabbed a thermos of coffee. It's black, but hot. Want some?"

Joy knew an olive branch when she saw one. But it gave her the jitters. Nice Cade was too often followed by Dick Cade. But she had to wonder how much Dick Cade was a figment of her own imagination and her past hookup with James all tangled up with his "ex-wife" insecurities. So while she was not a fan of black coffee, the heat would be welcome--even if it was to just wrap her fingers around a cup. "Sure. That'd be nice."

Cade pointed at the drive room. He strode towards the door. "Be right back."

Joy turned back to her screen. Before she could start to type, an email minder popped up. She tabbed over to Outlook.

Joy had thirty-four new emails since she'd checked an hour ago. Scanning the topics, she deleted the junk and flagged what she needed to follow up on later. There was nothing that needed immediate attention. Steve's I need those prints now message was utterly pointless. Joy didn't understand how he didn't get that. However, an email from Howard Hayes at WattEngineering. com caught her attention. The maintenance manager at Clearwater Paper had been copied.

Ms. Hauk, PE,

Thank you for sharing your insights on Clearwater Paper's Number 2 Paper Machine Drive controls. As stated previously, we are updating the machine, section by section, from DC to AC. The controls will remain Valmet.

As I'm sure you are aware, the existing DC drives are GE. The new AC drives will be Toshiba and the motors TEMIC. We are in the process of integrating speed control between the wire and fourdrinier. Might you be able to share any information on the fourdrinier speed control and comms?

Thank You in Advance,

Howard Hayes, PE

Senior Electrical Engineer

Watt Engineering

Ketchum, Idaho

Joy clicked reply-all and dug through her files. She didn't have much. She was no longer at P&C, but she had kept some of her notes. The files belonged to Clearwater, and Mr. Hays had provided all the right permissions in their previous correspondence. Plopping the appropriate files on the email, she filled out a letter of transmittal and typed out a brief explanation.

Cade returned with a steaming cup of coffee. He set it beside Joy's laptop and dropped a handful of sugar packets beside it.

Sugar? He'd brought her sugar? Because he certainly hadn't brought it for himself. He drank his coffee bleh black. Joy could've hugged him.

"I--" He caught the look on her face. He glanced away, abashed. It was kind of cute. His gaze landed on her monitor. "Hey, I know those guys. Worked with them a few times. They're not far from my--" Cade's voice gained in strength as his embarrassment fled. He fingered air quotes. "--retirement home."

Joy wrapped her fingers around the cup. Heat! The sigh it drew from her bordered on obscene. The warmth felt so good on her fingers. For the first time since this morning, Joy's voice held warmth for Cade.

"Watt Engineering and I cross paths sometimes. My best friend works in their Lynwood office. I landed a job with them in Boise but turned them down. I--" What she was saying wasn't quite true. "--didn't want to leave Seattle." It had been her mom who insisted Joy stay close. "They seem good."

"Partnered on any jobs with them?"

"Two. One at Clearwater Paper. Another at Hanford."

"I did a job at Clearwater, too. In--" His expression fell. Cade's next words sounded heavy. "--another life."

A cloud passed in front of the sun outside, and the control room fell into shadow. Joy's gaze drowned in her coffee. She and James had hooked up for the first time on the way home from a job at Clearwater Paper. The passes had been snowed in and they'd holed up in Leavenworth. "Yeah." She had a sudden insight into why Cade's heart might not yet be healed. She and James had been together for two years. Heather had been Cade's wife for who knew how many years. No wonder this, whatever this between them was, scared the shit out of him.

"Well," Cade said after the silence had gone on too long. "I'd better get back to it. That drive won't build itself."

"'Kay." Joy stripped her gloves so her fingers more directly contacted her still steaming coffee cup. Too bad her soul couldn't be heated the same way.

***

An allemployees@manmachineinterface. com email had come in from HR while they'd talked. Joy opened it. Inside, she found an updated employee handbook with working hour changes highlighted. In short, a new policy demanded that she take every fourteenth day of work off, regardless of the situation. Neither she nor her management was permitted to overrule the requirement. P&C had a policy like that. Sabrina had something similar at Watt Engineering. It also limited the number of twelve-plus-hour days she was permitted to work.

Joy mentally counted the days she'd been working. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday in Marina. Monday and Tuesday in Bothell, plus travel. Wednesday and now, Thursday, here. Joy's next day off would be a week from today. Ugh. She was tired. But nice to know she had something to look forward to.

She glanced out the window. It hadn't snowed since Tuesday, but the slopes falling away towards the lodge still called to her. Cade commuted on his skis. The skis were right there outside her window. She'd have to rent some, but she ought to consider doing the same. A little eager energy, like a caged hummingbird, vibrated in Joy's chest. She felt a smile pushing at her cheeks. In an improved mood, Joy tabbed over to the PLC program and resumed typing.

Well past lunch, Joy's phone vibrated her butt. She fished it from her hip pocket. Sabrina's pic was highlighted on the screen. Joy had to fiddle with her gloves until she found a finger that'd activate the screen.

"So?" Wink emoji--wink emoji.

With ladder logic running through her head, Joy's brain tripped up. She scrolled up to the previous evening's conversation. Oh.

"Nothing happened." Joy's mood drooped. Nothing should've happened. Why was it that nothing happened disappointed?

Sabrina sent a frowny face emoji.

"We just talked."

"So?"

"He got fired."

"Ha, I'm psychic. I told you he got on the wrong side of HR. What happened?"

Joy's thumbs tapped out a rapid cadence. "Not sure. Had to do with his wife."

"WIFE!?!"

"Ex-wife."

Sabrina's reply was predictable. "WTF."

"That's what I said."

Sabrina's response was delayed. The dancing dots appeared, disappeared, and reappeared. "Did he punch a guy or something? Defending her honor?"

"I don't think so. He said something, or she did something. Someone went to HR, and Cade got fired."

"They worked together?"

"Yup." Joy might've been typing, but the P still popped in her head.

"That's messed up."

"Yup." Joy was a skipping record.

Sabrina was a cat with a rat. "What're you going to do?"

"IDK."

"This was like a long time ago, right?"

"IDK. A couple years, maybe?"

"Do you want him, want him?"

Did she? Joy wasn't sure. But there was a pinch in her heart when she thought about never seeing him again. "Yes." To Sabrina, she typed, "He dick-moved again."

"Why?"

"He's really hung up."

"Then un-hang him, Joy."

"Yeah. Great. Like how?"

"Bang him."

Honeyed champagne fizzed in her core. "I'm not sure that's a good idea." Oh-em-gee, but she wanted to.

"Then I'll bang him."

Something hot, sticky, and poisonous clawed its way up the inside of Joy's throat. Sabrina was younger than she and really, really good-looking. Blonde. No doubt Cade would happily mount her. Men mastiff drooled in Sabrina's presence. It was kind of gross, but at the same time, Joy had a hard time blaming them. Sabrina was the very definition of a hot chick with a cheerleader bod. For a heartbeat, she saw red. When Joy looked down at her phone, she saw that not only had she typed, "WTF!?!" she'd already sent it.

Sabrina sent a wink emoji. Dancing dots did the polka at the bottom of Joy's screen. "Ha! I knew it. You want him! Stake your claim, sister."

***

Much later, after the end of the workday, after dinner, after more than an hour psyching herself up, Joy sucked a centering breath, then a second and finally a third. Her heart would not settle. This wouldn't be the first time she flashed Cade in a tee shirt, but tonight, she intended to do a little more than flash.

I can do this. It's just like a swimsuit.

With an itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny bottom, the church-girl voice living in her head reminded her. Joy scrunched her eyes closed and held another grounding breath. I wore a smaller one in college, she told that voice. Once, the voice reminded her. And then never again. She hadn't been able to handle the shame of putting herself on display in front of the almost men who'd been at her friend's sorority party. It's one guy. And I like him. It's not like all of Greek Row will be looking at my butt.

Stress electrodes pumped current into Joy. College was at least ten pounds of cellulite ago. Did she have dimples on her ass? No. She couldn't look. She was better off not knowing.

Urgh. Joy wiggled her fingers. She shook out her nerves. She plastered a plastic smile on her face and pushed open the door between rooms.

Cade looked up from his book. His expression froze. Heat crawled across Joy's flesh from toes to nose. Judging by the direction of his gaze, the girl downstairs was definitely playing peek-a-boo in her Finetoo. Joy forced herself forward.

"Up. Hot tub. I want company. Now."

It was Cade's turn to blush. "I--uh--don't have a suit."

Joy stood at the foot of his bed and hitched her left hand to her hip. This time, the black cotton she'd dubbed swimsuit was on full display. "Does it look like I do?"

"Uh." His attention was most definitely not on her face. With a visible jerk, he wrenched his eyes off her lady bits. Sunburn red crawled up his face.

It warmed Joy that she could render Cade speechless. She bent over and fisted the lapels of his button-down. It was a little awkward. She had to finger his shirt around the contours of her phone.

"Come on. We can relax and talk." Although, truth be told, talking wasn't really what she had in mind. "It'll be fun."

Joy tugged Cade's shirt. She nearly dropped the phone she clutched in one fist, but Cade followed her off the bed. Joy grabbed his hand and dragged him to the balcony.

"Let me un..."

Joy folded back the hot tub cover, knowing, even hoping, as she did so, she was giving Cade an eyeful of her ass. She knew where men's focus went every time she turned around. She'd witnessed Cade's Pavlov response to her backside. The hot steam that rolled off the tub was a welcome relief to the icy air.

Joy tested the water and sighed. Joy set her phone out of the way, stepped in the water up to her waist, stripped off his tee and tossed it aside. Her cami bra offered better coverage to the girls upstairs than her thong did downstairs.

"Please grab us some towels. Would you?" She used an elastic band on her wrist to put her hair up in a messy bun as she sat down into the bone-thawing liquid heat up to her shoulders. The blissed gasp that escaped her lips was nearly a moan of pleasure.

After her whole body tease, Joy had no qualms watching Cade strip to his black boxer briefs and tee. Joy pouted when he sank into the far side of the tub.

"No fair."

He just stared at her, impassive.

"I took my shirt off." Joy scooted around the tub to within an arm's length. She tugged at the hem of his shirt. "Why'd you not take yours off?"

Red crept up Cade's neck. "I'm an old man."

Joy cocked a brow. From the way his shirt was clinging, he had nothing to be ashamed of.

"You're not old." She touched the gray on his sideburns. He flinched but did not pull away. "You're distinguished. Take. It. Off."

Cade eyeballed her sideways. "Kind of bossy, aren't you?"

Joy moved a little closer and walked her fingers up his abs. "No." She hesitated. "Not usually. But fair is fair. You got an eyeful. I want mine, too."

"Joy. You realize we work together."

"Cade," she mocked. "You realize you are retired? I can't get you fired. We work for different companies. HR won't be involved.

"You say that now."

"We're only going to be together for what? Two weeks? Three weeks? This isn't forever." A tight ball, like twine being wound too tight, formed behind her sternum. The time seemed far too short. Like infinity minus three weeks too short. "I only meet men at work. Most of them are jerks."

Something softened in Cade's face. His hand came out of the water, hesitated, took her chin between his fingers, and tilted her eyes towards him. There was a depth and vulnerability in his warm amber-brown whisky gaze that she'd never witnessed before.

"I'm fifteen years your senior."

"So? I'm still old enough to drink. Last time I checked, I was a consenting adult."

"I can't do casual, Joy. I can't just hook up and forget you. I'm already treading water."

Joy's core melted like the ice cream atop a slice of hot cherry pie. She clenched her thighs at the sudden ache it left in its wake. "You are?" She hated the desperate hope in her voice. Joy probably should've respected his fear, but sometimes, people just needed a push. Joy pulled herself close once more and straddled his lap. Cade tried to shrink away. Joy moved with him. Had Cade put his hands on her, he could've simply pushed her away, but he seemed determined not to set a finger on her.

She fisted her fingers in the hem of his shirt and pulled. It was difficult. The soaked material clung to him. Cade grabbed the shirt to push it back down until she got it up to his armpits. He muttered a curse and then stripped the rest of it free.

His chest was hairy. Really hairy. It curled over his pecs and sauntered over his abs to gather in a happy trail arrowing into his boxer briefs.

She bit her lip and touched the curls blanketing his pecs. Her fingers splayed across his chest, tangling in those tight little, wet curls that tugged on her fingers where they rode over her nails. She liked it. Joy hummed her approval. Liked it? Who was she kidding? She loved it! A molten sugar heat dripped in her core.

Cade groaned. Joy was not the only one loving it. The bulge in Cade's boxers provided plenty of evidence that she was not alone in her adoration. Cade's whisky eyes glossed over. Blissed out. She slid her palms up his chest and over his shoulder to loop her arms around his neck. She pressed her breasts to his chest as she inhaled Cade.

She lowered her lips to his, prodding his lower lip with her tongue. She bit it when he wouldn't open, and he gasped in shock, or pain, or both. She darted in for a taste of cinnamon with an overtone of Cade.

Joy moaned. Cade tasted like he smelled. Divide by zero good. This is what she'd dragged him into the Jacuzzi for. She needed more. She swiped her tongue through his mouth a second time.

This time, Cade pushed back. Their mouths riveted. Their tongues tangled. Cade's arms banded about Joy. Electric arcs zinged through Joy, igniting nerves she'd forgotten existed. She squirmed in response. His arms pulled her tighter. Her soft to his hard, she molded herself to him. The taste test had apparently met with both their approval because they kept at it.

And Joy needed closer. Despite the hand on her ass pushing the crease at the juncture of her thighs against his bulge, she couldn't get close enough. The friction swelled the bulge in his boxer briefs against her barely-there underwear. If her panties hadn't already been soaked, she'd have drenched them.

Panic, fueled by desperate desire, lit up Joy's nervous system. She had not planned this. Kissing yes. Hot need to have him inside her, no. Was the gift shop still open? Did they sell condoms? She'd considered and discarded the possibility of getting railed until she saw stars when she'd planned this little foray into the Jacuzzi. She'd bet her lowball female engineer salary it hadn't been on Cade's itinerary either.

Maybe they didn't need condoms. Maybe--

No. No. Nope! Not going there. Joy was clean. She doubted Cade was dirty. They needed to talk about that soon. Like maybe now. Regardless, she was not on the pill. Fingers would have to do. But had she ever wanted someone so bad? Not even James had evoked this kind of response in her. Not from a kiss. Not with his fingers. Not from sex.

Joy banished thoughts of James. This was Cade and he'd stirred her up to impossible heights. Joy ground herself against Cade's ridge harder. Joy clenched, almost there, and mewed into Cade's mouth. Her clit had a heartbeat all of its own. Cade's fingers were already biting into her hip. She grabbed his wrist. She just had to tug this thumb over to her--

Joy's phone range. Joy's and Cade's hands froze as one. Breast and chest ground together as they panted--their lips so close together they shared each other's air.

"Do you need to get that?" Cade's voice was strained. Joy thought there might be a note of relief and fear.

"It's my mom," Joy said, recognizing the ringtone. Maybe they should do it au naturel. Get knocked up. At least her mom would be over the moon. Except the odds of Cade living anywhere near Seattle were probably between zero and none. Her mother would murder her if Joy moved to wherever Cade was. The call went to voicemail.

Joy lowered her lips back to his, but he'd grown rigid, and not just where it counted. She bit and nibbled and squirmed, trying to reignite the fire, but even she'd gone a little cold.

"Joy..." Sorrow painted Cade's voice.

She pushed herself off him. "Oh my God, what?" She crossed her arms over her breasts with a huff. Bees stung at the corners of her eyes. Was he for real? "I am so into you. And it's clear you're into me. Why won't you just go with it?"

Pain fractured Cade's expression. "Where do you see us going with this?"

The phone rang again--a different ringtone. Joy nibbled her lip. Cad had said that he couldn't do casual. She was not really wanting casual. But she didn't know how to get from here to there. What she wanted involved flowers, rings and a white dress. That thought scared her. Left at the altar rang in her ears.

The bells on her phone continued to chime. On the third peel, notes finally penetrated Joy's skull.

Alarm jolted Joy to action. She launched herself across the tub, water flying. She clambered up on a seat and stretched for her phone, chest to deck. Stretched out as far as she could reach, she hooked her phone from where it lay with her--Cade's--tee.

The call went to voicemail. She swiped.

"Steve. Steve!"

The Boss

Cade

Joy's tongue was in his mouth. She tasted like a fruity Tic Tac, that chocolate stout that she liked and something that could only be Joy--more delicious than ice melt after a waterless month at sea.

Cade pushed his tongue between her parted lips. She moaned and ground herself harder. All her soft places were touching him in all of his hard places and heaven on fire, he was diamond hard. It ached. He ached. He dropped his hands to Joy's hips with the intent of stopping, or at least slowing, her grind.

Warmth, want and need boiled right up his fingers and into his chest. His hands, Cade's hands, no one else's, were on Joy's ass--Joy's glorious, jaw-dropping ass. He palmed her. His thumbs were on, now under, that tiny little band that kept her ridiculous, barely-there underwear in place. All he had to do was pull.

A voice inside screamed, stop! He could not--would not. Not without a condom. He could not do this to her. To himself. Cade looped his thumbs in the elastic and gently tugged. Someone had to come to their senses. Apparently, it was not going to be him. Joy needed to stop him!

A phone rang.

"Do you need to get that?" The words forced themselves from somewhere deep inside. The pressure in Cade's chest was almost as though he were speaking through a slurry of concrete and gravel.

Joy panted. Warm air, wet with need, washed over Cade. Nose to nose, forehead to forehead, he heaved in time with her. "It's my mom," she spoke, lips less than an inch from his mouth. All the while, her soft flesh pressed into him. But, for Cade, the ache changed, deepened, and morphed into something that swallowed his need. The call went to voicemail.

Joy lowered her lips. She nipped him. Cade stiffened. He wanted this. He craved this even though he had no illusions. Heather had destroyed him after nineteen years. Joy would wreck him in under a week.

She bit. She nibbled. She squirmed. Cade focused all his concentration on dredging up memories of sitting in the HR office at Blow-Jobs-R-Us to try to will his erection away.

"Joy..." How did he tell the hottest woman to ever grace the planet that he didn't want her--even though he did? Was he insane?

She apparently got it--too well, too easily, too fast. He had zero opportunity to explain how bad he felt about it.

Joy shoved off him. "Oh my God, what?" She crossed her arms over her breasts, but it looked as though she'd put them on a shelf--a shelf right in front of his face. Her expression twisted. Was she about to cry? He'd not wanted that.

"I am so into you. And it's clear you're into me. Why won't you just go with it?"

Cade ran a hand through his hair. "Where do you see us going with this?" If Joy's answer didn't involve flowers, rings and a white dress, his heart would implode. But how could it? There did not seem to be a path from here to there.

By way of response, Joy nibbled her lip, her expression pensive.

The phone rang again--a new ringtone. More bells chimed. Joy's lashes flicked. Shock washed the thoughtful expression clean from her face. Joy launched herself across the hot tub. A tsunami wave broke over Cade's shoulders. Joy threw herself flat on the deck, stretching for her phone. She answered the phone with her perfect, palmable ass, not much more than a cubit from Cade's face.

"Steve. Steve!"

What the? Steve? Her boss? It was pushing ten at night. Cade heard something indistinct from the other end of the line. Joy relaxed and pulled back a little. Her hips rotated into a mount-me position. Cade's heart stopped.

"We've been through this," she said into the phone. "I'm in Quaking." She paused, taking in whatever this Steve guy was saying.

"You can't be serious. Steve--" She was interrupted. Cade couldn't make out Steve's words, but his tone was sharp.

"Steve, I--" She was interrupted again. Cade tried not to eavesdrop, but the words "Quaking," "Salt Lake," "Marina," and "Seattle" made their way through the garble anyway.

"I don't have a car!" Joy blurted when there was a pause in the diatribe from the other end of the line.

This Steve guy barked something Cade couldn't understand.

"The cv axel busted! You were supposed to rent me another one."

Something akin to a curse sounded from Steve's end of the line.

Joy's frustrated pitch dropped in defeat. "Kathy said you would."

Again, Cade could hear words but not make them out. Joy tensed as though hit with two-forty volts.

"Steve! I'm in the field. You're in the office!"

Cade still couldn't understand what this Steve guy said, but Joy sagged. Her ass sank back on her heels under the water and reprieved Cade of its dick-throbbing portrait. He moved to make good his escape but froze mid-flight when he caught the expression on Joy's face. The look wasn't for him. It was for this Steve on the other end of the line.

"Help me out, Steve. You can't ask this of me." Joy sounded tired. She looked tired. "Yes, boss." Joy sighed. It was a subdued, defeated sound. "I'll find a ride." Joy paused like she was waiting for something more. When it wasn't forthcoming, she hung up the phone. For many heartbeats, Joy merely stared at her lap. The hair she'd twisted up before their make-out session had fallen free in a tangled mess that hid her face.

Cade completed his exodus from the hot tub. "Are you okay?" He retrieved his towel. He extended the second to Joy.

Joy looked up at him, her aquamarine eyes huge, luminous, and liquid. "Can I ask you a favor?" Broken glass would've sounded less crushed.

Cade's heart twisted more than a wrung-out towel. "Sure." He said the word slowly, carefully.

"Would you give me a ride to the airport--" She heaved a laden sigh. "--tonight? Right now? Please?"

"Okay." Another careful word from Cade. Perhaps she had a car waiting. It was late. Maybe they could wait until morning? "May I ask why?"

Water sloughed off her as she climbed from the tub. Mist billowed in the sub-zero air. "I have a red eye to Seattle."

Cade's heart bogged down, barely able to sustain its beat. She was leaving? An icy slurry filled his veins. What was wrong with his heart? Less than a minute ago, he'd been pushing Joy away. Now he wanted her to stay? "What about the job?" His voice sounded stricken. The words were nearly a puppy dog whine. The noise sounded far more pathetic coming from a grown man.

If Joy noticed, she didn't show it. She trailed her towel, and water, inside. "I'll be back tomorrow night. I might need a ride."

Blinding bliss burbled up from behind Cade's sternum. He didn't want to evaluate why. He shoved the feeling aside. "Of course."

***

A little more than an hour later, in the mountains above Ogden, they hit Interstate-84 outside of Mountain Green. The drop down the Wasatch Front was a switchback mule trail at seventy miles per hour. Cade glanced at Joy for the umpteenth millionth time. The glow of her phone lit up the curtain of her hair, but her face was not visible.

"Tell me again why you are going to Seattle?"

Joy sighed. Her shoulders sagged further. Cade had never seen her look so defeated. Not even when he'd found her on the side of the road. "Because my boss told me to."

Cade heard just the barest bite to the word "boss." Her voice said that she'd long since grown tired of the discussion. Yet, Cade couldn't let it go. Fly to Seattle. Drop off some prints. Fly back. All when she should be sleeping. The request was simply unreasonable. He wouldn't have done it. Not for a stupid job. Why was she? With skills as rare as hers, she could snap her fingers and ten employers would come running. Cade knew. He'd been there.

"Do you always do what Steve says?"

"He's my boss."

"Even when he's wrong?"

"He's my boss, Cade!"

"This request is not very--" Acceptable. "--reasonable."

"What would you have me do?" There was no fire in Joy's words, only weariness. She'd clearly given up on Cade and his pushy opinions.

Stay here. Tell Steve to fuck off. Quit your job. Kiss me until I see stars. Their hot tub make-out played in the theater of his third eye.

"I don't know. Tell his boss?"

Joy looked at Cade then. Her expression was sad. "You don't understand, do you?"

"What's to understand?" Cade's right hand came free of the steering wheel and made a sharp gesture. The 4Runner swerved a little.

"We've been through this." Joy's voice was that of someone who had waded through a swamp for three weeks without sleep. "If I tell anyone, I'm the bitch, not Steve. Nobody will trust me ever again."

"That's not right. If it's that bad, you should quit."

"And go where?"

"I don't know--anywhere!" Cade's muscles tensed. Frustration scrambled his nerves. Live with me. The thought incited a song that trilled in his heart. But she didn't want that. Or at least not, just that. Joy wanted her career. Loved her career--at least the idea of it. Cade already knew Joy that well.

"Reputations follow you," Joy said. "You know?"

He did know. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. But he did know. Somehow, someway, he'd harassed a woman at work.

Other than that one time he'd blown up at Heather after he'd caught her blowing her boss under his desk, Cade had thought he'd been the whistleblower. He'd tried hard not to throw anyone under the bus, but he had said that he was uncomfortable with bitch jokes, stripper jokes and pregnancy jokes. That had been true. He had been uncomfortable.

He'd rarely been brave enough to object in the moment, in front of an audience, but he had followed up, sometimes with the speaker, sometimes with his boss and sometimes with HR. He often wondered if he'd been fired because he'd failed to single out the troublemakers. He'd been trying to improve a culture, not put a black mark on any one man's service record. He'd not only been standing up for his wife but the rare other woman he'd worked with. But after his confrontation with Heather, he'd been fired for harassment and he didn't understand why. That'd followed him everywhere.

"There's got to be somewhere." She'd said that she'd once landed a job with Watt. He couldn't see men like Steve lasting long there.

"When you find it, tell me." There was a poisoned note in Joy's voice.

It was like Heather all over again. She, too, had refused to stand up to her boss. She'd let him take the credit for her work and steal her ideas. She let bitch jokes, dismissive behavior and a willingness to overlook her in meetings slide. He'd give her the shittiest, crappiest, least glamorous jobs. She'd vent to Cade, to other women. She would not act. He did not know why.

Heather had blown her boss--under his desk. Was that why? Society claimed women were attracted to bad boys. Were harassers the nerd equivalent of a bad boy? Would Joy someday be under Steve's desk? He did not want to be around to find out.

"Good God, Joy, this is frustrating."

"And you're not making it any less so, Cade!"

Sleepless from Seattle

Joy

Joy had flown from Salt Lake City to Phoenix, where she spent approximately three hours between the times of two a. m. and five a. m. on layover. At about six PST, the 737 from Phoenix touched down at SeaTac with enough force that Joy bolted awake. Waking hard, she willed the lead from her brain and let her attention crawl to the nearby passengers. Many were in a similar state as she. The rest were minding their own business. She discreetly scrubbed her drool away. The mirror she fished from her purse showed Joy that bedhead would've been a kind description.

Once inside the gate, she bee-lined for the ladies' room. Brush. Makeup remover. Neutral lip gloss. Coverup. No eyeliner. No mascara. Because Steve didn't deserve that much effort.

Joy strode from the restroom and checked her phone for the address of their meetup. Not even Steve was arrogant enough to believe she could make it all the way north to Bothell and back before her next flight. Not that Bellevue was a significant improvement. She had an hour to spare at most. Had Cade arranged her travel, Joy was sure he would have given her a whole day between flights.

What? Where had that thought come from? In what world would Cade have a reason to arrange her flights? And, had such a world existed, Joy was pretty certain Cade would've told himself to, 'eff off,' and she wouldn't have been traveling in the first place. That'd been the whole gist of his hundred million dick move conversations all the way from Quaking to the airport. He kind of had a point.

But so did she.

And she wasn't happy with where they'd left it. Not that she knew where she could've left it. The man was overbearing. But she'd been one bad decision shy of getting pregnant with said man. Then they fought for over an hour. Not a happy place. Maybe she needed to extend an olive branch--for her own peace of mind.

Joy pulled up Cade's contact. They'd exchanged when he'd dropped her off at SLC Airport. Her thumbs danced across the screen.

"In Seattle. Just landed."

Um. What? She blinked at her text. How was that an olive branch? It was her mom that demanded location updates. Maybe she was just tired. That would explain it. But something warm unfurled in Joy's chest when the dancing dots began to bop at the bottom of her screen.

"That long? I dropped you off at midnight."

Joy grinned at her phone. She probably looked like an idiot. "Layover in Phoenix."

"That sucks."

She was an idiot. Her face had split ear-to-ear over a simple conversation, and they'd not even acknowledged the elephant yet. "What're you having for breakfast?" She burned crimson when she re-read her text. So lame, Joy! Her thumb hovered over the palm to forehead emoji, but she didn't send it.

Dancing dots. Pause. Dancing dots. Pause. Dancing dots.

"Coffee. Food."

Palm to forehead emoji.

Cade sent, "Lol." More dancing dots. "Your drop was at 9, right? You'd better run."

Joy glanced at the time. He was right.

Unfortunately, Joy had forgotten which floor her Subaru was on. Finding it took a quarter-hour. Between the clock, brake pedal adrenaline and the morning rush, Joy was a bundle of nerves when she located the corner Starbucks Steve had designated for the drop-off. Surrounded by skyscrapers, there was no curbside parking. Joy ended up three floors under the mall in a pay lot. Bundling up the crinkly, water-warped prints, she raced for the coffee shop.

Just inside the glass door, the scent of Joy's favorite sugar and caffeine delivery system enveloped her. She jumped in line for a sugar bomb java and a giant M&M cookie. The breakfast of champions. Cade would be pleased. Well, no. Probably not. He'd tell her to eat healthier.

And why did she care? The man was pushy, but he cared what she ate. Joy reveled in the warmth the thought evoked. The man cared what she ate. Which was beyond absurd. It should've been aggravating. It was aggravating. She didn't need a second mom telling her how to live. But that didn't stop the warmth from spreading through her chest.

Joy considered palm to forehead, for real. Cade on the brain was addictive. To kill her libido, she scanned the morning crowd for Steve. He wasn't there.

She checked her phone again. GPS had her in the right place. Joy opened a conversation with Steve. "I'm here."

Joy had arrived at the front of the line before Steve responded. "Running late."

Stress zinged through Joy. "When will you be here? You didn't leave me a lot of time."

The dancing dots appeared immediately. "F, J. IDK. Quit your bitching. I'll be there when I get there. I'm running late."

Hot chased cold chased hot across her skin. Joy blinked rapidly. Her gaze danced about the rafters, not daring to come down for fear of finding someone watching her. Her attention landed on a clock. It was pushing nine fifteen. Muscle knotted in her neck.

"Joy," the barista called. Joy collected herself and her order.

"Joy?" An all-too-familiar voice called from the back of the line. "Joy!"

Frustration charged Joy's nerves. A swarm of angry hornets filled her brain. One must've nailed her between the eyes because her sinuses pressured up with the sting. Joy forced herself to greet the newcomer.

"Hi, Mom."

Mom abandoned her place in line. She hustled Joy over to an open table. "You're in town? When'd you get in town? You're supposed to call."

Avalanche fatigue crashed into Joy. She raked her nails through her tresses. "I landed less than two hours ago, Mom."

"Well, you're here now. I'm meeting Bonnie and the girls at the mall for brunch. You should join us. But fix your makeup first. You look like you just woke up in a coffin."

"Thanks, Mom."

"You should take more care of your appearance. You never know when you'll meet the one."

"I'm not going to meet the one at Starbucks." Joy wondered if she'd ever meet the one. Cade. You've met Cade. Joy's heart lifted like a hot air balloon.

"You never know."

Joy pushed Cade from her brain. Spilling the beans in a coffee shop was a recipe for disaster. If Joy figured out this thing with Cade, she'd have to plan her reveal with care. "Mom."

Her mother changed tactics. "Come shopping, dear."

Shopping did sound nice. On a different day. With a different person. Perhaps Sabrina. She needed a day with Sabrina. A shopping excursion in the Quaking outlet mall came to mind. And the man she'd done that with. That had been fun. Until she'd been interrupted by her mother. Right now, all she wanted was to get back to Cade's room and crash.

"I can't."

"Forever why not?" her mom whined.

"I'm meeting someone for work."

"You always work. Haven't you heard of time off, Joy?"

Joy checked the clock on her phone. "I need to--"

"There you are." Joy jerked at the brusque sound of Steve's voice. She knocked her sugar bomb coffee. It teetered. Joy caught it before it could dump on the Marina prints.

"Fuck, Joy," Steve said, "I've been callin' you. Don't you ever pay attention?"

Hydrofluoric vapors burbled in Joy's belly. Her very bones ached with the calcium-scavenging acid. Tell me again why you are going to Seattle? The voice in Joy's head sounded suspiciously like Cade.

Somehow, the vapors escaped and made Joy's skin burn. "Sorry. I was..."

To be put down, disrespected, harassed. The answer to the earlier question was in her own voice. Joy's thoughts were interrupted by her mother.

"You know my daughter?" her mom appraised Steve like she might a Valentino. "Aren't you a handsome one."

Joy felt like she'd just exited the tilt-a-whirl after being left on for three rides with nothing but cotton candy for dinner. Why wasn't Mom dressing down Steve? Had Mom not heard him? Had Joy spoken like that to Steve, her mother would've given her a tongue lashing. Certainly, her mom would defend her. At least a little. Cade would've. Joy was certain of it.

"Mom, this is Steve, my boss," Joy said. She had to speak around the queasy feeling in her stomach.

"Steve? Oh, it's been a while. I didn't recognize you. I don't remember you being so... tall." Joy's mom's eager gaze pinballed between Steve and Joy. "Should I leave? Are you two, you know, on a coffee date?" She tugged over a vacant chair from a neighboring table. "Here, have a seat." She made no move to leave.

"Mom--" Joy found it difficult to keep the acid from her voice. "--he's just here for the prints." Joy shoved the water-stained stack at Steve.

Steve's brow furrowed. "What happened to those?"

Joy blinked. Did her mom have some sort of psychic 'be nice to my daughter' superpower? Because there hadn't been a single 'fuck, Joy' in the entire sentence. A hot tide seared Joy's cheeks. She hid behind her hair. "I--uh--dropped them in a puddle. In a parking lot."

Steve ran a hand through his hair. If possible, his posture grew more rigid, like he was straining to hold back words he wanted to say. "They're a mess." He yanked the chair Joy's mother had been tugging to their table. To Joy's dismay, he sat.

Her mom twisted in her seat so as to face Steve. "Hi, you probably don't remember me, but I'm Ann, Joy's mother. We met at your office picnic last summer."

In Joy's ear, Steve's voice took on a patronizing tone. "Mrs. Hauk. A pleasure to meet you again. I can see where Joy gets her beauty from." He was probably talking about her boobs, or maybe her ass, because Joy didn't think Steve knew the color of her eyes. He'd never looked at them. He flashed her mom the same smile he'd used on the Allen-Bradley rep--the one he'd later called a dickwad.

"Oh, please," she tittered. "Call me Ann."

"As you will, Ann." Steve turned to Joy. "Is this all of them?" He waved at the prints. "This detour has made me late for work."

What? After that one word, Joy's thoughts tripped up. Steve lived in Bellevue. She knew that. She'd flown from Utah. He'd barely gone out of his way.

"The prints, Joy, are these all of them?" he said again. It took a second for Joy to reregister Steve's words.

"Yes. I think so. Yes." Joy pushed the pile across the table. She'd gone so nerveless she could've bled to death via papercuts and not felt a thing.

Oblivious to the byplay, her mother asked, "Are you married, Steve? Is there a Missus?"

"Mom."

Steve cocked an eyebrow in Joy's direction. To her mom, he said, "No. Not currently. Someday, I hope."

"Joy's not married either."

"Mom."

Amusement trembled on Steve's lips. "Is that so?"

Mom continued as though Joy weren't even present. "You two have so much in common. Job. Degree. Social status. Perhaps you should--"

"Mom!"

"--you know--go on a date."

"Mom!" Joy's voice rose in a crescendo pitch.

Steve chuckled. At Joy or her mother Joy wasn't able to ascertain.

"Well, I am joining Joy at the resort in a few days. Perhaps we could hook up--" Steve shot Joy a pointed look. "--there. Ski. Drinks. Hot tub."

The heat in Joy's face felt as though it should've blistered her skin. Joy's mother looked from Steve to Joy and back to Steve again.

"Oh, that'd be marvelous. Joy loves to ski. Don't you, honey?"

Joy hid her face in her hands. Steve pushed back his chair.

"Nice meeting you, Mrs. Hauk--Ann. I've got to get to the office. See you in Utah, Joy."

Utah. Where Cade was. She could really use one of his mind-blanking kisses right now. She'd even embrace his, "I told you so," if it meant he'd erase her every memory of this morning. A shot of Cade. That's what she needed. To get her fix. To make this all go away. When had she become so--addicted?

Her mother's gaze trailed Steve to the door before she rounded on Joy. "He's perfect!"

Joy shot her mother the evil eye. Joy was pretty sure her idea of perfect was any man who lived in Seattle and would knock Joy up--with or without a ring. Obviously, foul-mouthing her daughter wasn't a show-stopper. Or even that said daughter liked said man. But Joy would've bet her career there was extra credit if said man was her mom's next-door neighbor. That way, she could play helicopter with Joy and grandbaby at her convenience. If the list was longer than that, Joy didn't know it. She shouldn't have said anything, but she couldn't help it.

"What's so perfect about him?" Her voice was steeped in a sea of sarcasm.

"Engineer. Job. Stable income. Lives in Bellevue! Did you see the way he looked at you?"

Like a roach beneath his notice? Yeah. I saw that. Talked to me like one, too. It was a marked improvement from all the times he'd undressed her with his eyes. "He's my boss, Mom. I'm not going to marry him." Or date him. Or hook up with him. Or look at him. Or talk to him any more than she could help it.

"You'd make beautiful babies."

Great. Nailed it. Barefoot and pregnant. Apparently, that was as high as she was allowed to aspire. Joy put her head in her hands. "Mom--" Her voice was muffled. "--please."

"I'm just sayin', Joy, your clock is ticking."

"What if I don't want babies?" Joy said to her hands.

"Of course you want babies."

Joy sighed. She did want babies--or she had, once upon a time. With James. Before her mother had gone all grandbaby nuts. She wasn't so sure anymore. Did Cade want babies? Hot wax wicked through Joy's core. She clenched so hard that her legs crossed. To distract attention from the way she shook, Joy checked the clock. "Mom, I need to go."

"Where're you going?"

"Work, Mom. Back to Utah." A ray of light pierced the clouds that shrouded her heart. "You know, where Skeeve said we'd meet up." Back to Cade.

Mom's gaze turned towards the chair Steve had recently vacated. "That's right. But Joy, honey, you really shouldn't call him names. I know you don't like him now, but that might change."

"Oh my God, Mom. Do you even hear yourself?"

"Steve mentioned skiing. You love skiing. You might bond over it. Give it a chance."

"Mom, I'm working at the ski resort. Not skiing. I'm programming a chair lift."

"That's--" Mom paused. "--unusual."

"It really is. There's speed control. And torque control. Breaking." For the first time that day, Joy felt a trickle of excitement. Mom didn't usually want to talk about Joy's work, but Joy really wanted, needed, to share it with someone. Light chased away her fatigue. "The emergency motor functions are really cool."

"That's nice, dear. Are you going to ski with Steve?"

The light drained from Joy's soul. "No." The single syllable sounded tired.

"You should really give him a chance, Joy. You need to get busy. Focus on what's important."

"What if I said I'd already met a man?" Had she? What would Cade say?

"You have! Who is he? Why haven't you told me?"

Joy squeezed her eyes shut. What in ever-living love had possessed her? She mentally kicked herself ten times. "I just barely met him."

"Where? When? You haven't even been in town. Is that why you've been so busy? You weren't avoiding me, were you? You were hooking up with some man you've not even mentioned. What does he look like? How tall is he? Does he want babies? Are you pregnant? When are you bringing him over for dinner?"

Joy slouched over the table. She took a sip of her coffee, stalling. "I met him in Utah."

Mom's voice took on a guarded tone. "And he lives here?"

"No. But not Utah, either. The plates on his car are Idaho." She had checked at the airport.

"Idaho is a long way from here. What're you going to do, long distance date? That won't work out."

"Mom, did you not hear me say, 'I just met him'? He helped me out once or twice. We've had dinner. That's it." There was no need to bring up the hot tub--or her lodging arrangement. "I have no idea if this is going anywhere."

Her mom gnawed her lip. "Sounds like a long shot. What does he do?"

"He's a drive tech."

"That doesn't sound--"

Joy's head snapped up. Her voice heated. "Oh my God, Mom. Are you judging him by his work?"

"He has to be able to support you. After babies, you won't want to work."

"Plenty of mothers work, Mom."

"I'm just sayin'. Diapers. Late nights. A job. It's a lot. It's a lot without a job."

"He prob'ly makes more than I do--than Steve does." Or he had. Before he retired.

"Oh. That's--" She paused. "--good. But Idaho?"

"Yes, Mom, next state that-a-way." Joy waved vaguely east.

"I don't like this."

"Just last week, you wanted me to hook up with a Californian beach bum."

"I just wanted you to look. You don't even look. You haven't even noticed Steve and he's right in front of you."

"Mom, stop with Steve. I'm not dating Steve. I'm never going to date Steve."

"Joy--"

"Mom, if you say another word about Steve, I'm leaving," Joy snapped loud enough several coffee shop patrons glanced their way.

"Fine." A disapproving note colored her tone. "But Joy, Idaho?"

"Mom, I just met Cade. I don't know where this is going. If it'll even work. Nothing's happened yet." Except the hottest kisses ever. A slight heat pinked Joy's cheek. And an almost bad decision. "It's not like we're eloping." Yet.

"This guy's not good for you, Joy. He's not an engineer. He's not smart enough. You'll get bored. He doesn't live where we live, like Steve."

"Mom. Get it through your head. Steve. Is. Not. An. Option."

"Why not?" Her mom's words were sharp.

Joy pushed back from the table. "Mom, I gotta go. See you at Christmas. If I'm back." She almost hoped not.

***

Clip. Clip. Clop.

Clip.

Clop.

The uneven staccato of Joy's boot wedge heels upon the tile kept time with her faltering pace. Thirty-six hours with only airplane cat naps had taken their toll.

Joy zigged out the security exit of Salt Lake City Airport and zagged into another traveler.

"Sorry," Joy mumbled.

A man in the three-piece business suit glared, stepped around her and descended the stairs towards the luggage claim. Not having any bags, Joy peeled herself from the flow of traffic and wove towards the exit.

She tugged her phone from her hip pocket. She scrolled to Cade's contact.

"Joy?"

There he was. Tall. Dark. Beautiful. That was the word. Beautiful. That hair. So rich in color that it could've been stained with Old English. The gray, the little there was, provided emphasis. Joy wished to run her fingers through it. Wide, broad shoulders made for resting one's head upon.

As they moved towards each other, fuzzy warmth fogged Joy's brain. Her grin probably made her look like a fool. She might've been drooling. But she couldn't wipe the smile from her face. When Cade's lips bowed in response, Joy's ears began to ache.

A little more than an arm's length away, Cade slowed his advance. Joy meant to stop. Peace. Safety. Home. That's what he looked like.

Home?

Joy's heel caught on the edge of a tile. She stumbled. Cade's arms banded about her, preventing her from sliding to the floor.

Home. Joy sagged. She rubbed her cheek against Cade's chest and he righted her until her head rested on his shoulder. For many moments, she stayed there. She might've fallen asleep.

When her lashes opened, Cade was looking down at her, a soft expression on his face. Joy's heart rolled over, like a puppy asking for a belly rub. She felt expansive, light, and not entirely present within her body. She should've pulled away to gain space. To get ahold of herself. To understand what she was feeling. She did not. Rather, she went up on the toes of her booties. Cade's face was angled down. He might've been inhaling the scent of her hair. Joy did not have far to reach.

Their lips met.

Warmth suffused Joy. Home. Fatigue stole through her. Safe. Joy was safe. She let herself go.

***

Joy stretched--her toes to her pinkies. Bedsheets pushed aside. A pillow landed on the floor. Golden sunlight, reflected by the snow outside, lit her room.

Joy sat up with a jolt. Last night--most of yesterday--was an indistinct blur. She remembered Cade carrying her into the lodge but not the ride from the airport. She had a dim recollection of shimmying out of her pants, but not if Cade had been present to watch her strip. Her clothes were strewn from the door to her bed as though she'd shed them as she walked. She wore Cade's orange tee shirt. And one sock.

She hadn't--they hadn't--her brain jumped tracks--if they had, it wasn't fair that she couldn't remember. Joy glanced about the room. Cade was absent, as were his clothes. Half her bed was still made. The scent she'd come to associate with him, summer and fir, did not linger on her pillow.

And she didn't feel--sore. It'd been so long. She would've felt sore. Right?

A sigh escaped Joy. Relief and disappointment.

They hadn't. Joy anchored the thought firmly in her mind. She stretched again and moved to the door between 'her' room and Cade's suite. It felt a little silly, but Joy knocked.

No response. She knocked again. After a heartbeat of silence, Joy eased the door open.

"Cade?" She stepped into the room. "Cade, are you here?"

Nothing.

Joy eased into Cade's portion of the suite. Despite facing more west than south, the room was sun-bright with reflected light. Cade was absent. The door to the bath was open. The air was still damp and the mirror fogged. Joy took another step.

A phone pinged. It took a moment for Joy to locate the source of the sound. The noise was coming from her purse, which lay on the floor. She'd either missed the end table when she'd dropped it or it'd shimmied off since. Joy dug out her phone.

Texts from Mom. Texts from Steve. A text from Sabrina. One text, just now, from Cade. Her heart soared.

"Hey, sleeping beauty. If you get this, I'll be at Rocky's until about ten. I'll save you some coffee. Otherwise, see you at the job site. No rush. Don't even come up if you don't want to. You had an insane day yesterday. See you when I see you."

Sleeping beauty? An idiot smile wormed its way across her face. Okay, it was dorky. But--yeah. She glanced at her clock. A quarter to eight.

A shower and thirty minutes later, Joy was seated across from Cade. The scent of oatmeal, she'd eaten too few meals recently, and her regular sugar bomb coffee tickled her senses. Cade was stretched out in the booth across from her, looking like an angel incarnate. Chiseled chin. Tight button-down stretched over glaciated pecks. Arms with the strength of a structural cord. Hair the rich dark color of her coffee and eyes she could happily drown in. The coffee he nursed was black. The plates from his demolished lumberjack breakfast were pushed aside.

"How was the trip?"

Joy's thoughts skipped back. Steve. Mom. Mom pushing her at Steve. "Miserable." Except when she'd returned home.

Home. There was that word again. Warmth, like that of a fuzzy teddy bear after a turn in the dryer, filled Joy as she thought of their kiss.

Did he think of their kiss? It'd been an accident. She hadn't meant to trip and fall. But it'd been a happy accident. Cade'd felt like home. Did she feel like home to him?

"That good, huh?"

"Yup."

Cade's chest rose and fell. Questions lingered in his eyes.

Steve. He was thinking about Steve. How he'd argued that she needed to stand up to him. How she'd caved to his demands.

Cade chewed his lip. The action drew Joy's gaze. Organs, low in her torso, liquefied. She wanted to chew Cade's lip. Again.

Cade said, "The electricians powered up the heater yesterday."

"That's a relief." She wouldn't have to freeze. Her fingers might not turn blue.

"I thought you might like that."

"The important stuff first, right?"

"Uh-huh. Lights are on, too. They should get most of the power today. The drive's anchored and assembled. I've not got much left until they finish power and then it's QA/QC."

Loss darkened Joy's soul. "What will you do then?"

"Wait around for startup. Ski."

Silence greeted Cade's statement. Joy's thoughts swam a lap in her coffee. They'd only really interacted on the job for one day, but she'd miss him in the control room.

"How're you coming with the program?" Cade asked.

Joy dragged her thoughts out of the quagmire of her depression. "Surprisingly well, all things considered." Joy re-engaged the professional side of her brain. "Configuration's done. I've established the basic control modes. Fleshed out some of the blocks. A handful of days and I should have a workable first pass. We should be able to start loop testing this weekend. If we're really lucky, startup will be next week."

"That's great." His voice was a low rumble, like a pedal tone. Did Joy detect a note of disappointment in his low base? If she were slower, might they have more time together? Or was it wishful thinking?

"You should finish eating," he said. "The electricians will be taking the cat up soon."

Joy tilted her bowl towards Cade. She'd already shoveled half of it into her mouth. "Almost done. See, Mom." Joy stuck out her tongue.

She continued. "Maybe I want to ski to work with you." Did his eyes just glint? They almost looked like they'd dropped to her thighs. But he wouldn't have been able to see them. They were under that table. Right? But certainly, that'd been a flicker of--what--interest?

"Do you know how?"

"Yes. I'm from Seattle," she huffed. Joy crossed her arms under her breasts. Was he teasing her? The crook in his grin suggested he might be. "Not the Sahara."

Cade's lips toyed with a smile. His gaze tripped on her breasts and then quickly rose to her face. A shiver raced down Joy's scalp, around her neck and towards the base of her spine. Her nipples pinched.

"Good to know," Cade said.

Joy didn't have her skis. She didn't have many of her ski clothes. The reality of her situation sank in. "I'll have to get rentals."

"Of course. Shall we?"

Ski Bum Rippers

Cade

Cade hadn't known what to expect when Joy'd decided to ski to work with him. He'd been encouraged when she'd checked advanced on her rental form. The run from the top of the Bullwinkle Express to the bottom of the Summit Lift, their work site, provided little challenge, but it was evident right quick that twenty-four-year-old hot ass in ski pants had nothing on Joy in jeans.

"It's like floating on a cloud!" Joy said, her excitement evident in her voice. The rooster tail she'd plowed up showered Cade in powder. Joy clipped out of her binding and ran her laptop, hard hat and work boots up into the control room. The electricians were already at work. She popped back out of the room before Cade had even put his skies up. "Let's go again."

God above was she beautiful. Excited. Grinning ear-to-ear. Cade couldn't remember his ex-wife ever looking so alive.

Alarm raced through Cade's veins. Had he just compared Joy to Heather and found Heather wanting? What was happening to him? Still, he couldn't help answering Joy's joy in kind. Cade forced himself to focus on the conversation at hand. He dropped his skies back to the snow. "Sure. Have you never skied on powder before?"

"Sure I have." She toed a ski over and clipped in. "But fresh snow at Steven's is--" Joy clipped in her second boot. "--heavy. It's rare to get powder like this in the Northwest. We're used to ice and slush, not--powdered sugar."

"You ski a lot?"

Joy pushed off. She called back over her shoulder, "Used to."

Cade hurried and clipped in his bindings. He skated two strides for momentum and chased after her.

His DPSs were longer, faster and simply better than her rentals. But the strong flex in her thighs. The tight line she drew through the snow. The fact that he almost bit it after he'd become mesmerized by the rise and fall of her seat as she moved over the terrain. Cade wasn't able to catch Joy until they'd arrived at the base of the lift.

When he caught her, she beamed at him and showered him with so much joy heaven would've been dim by comparison. Cade had thought he'd loved skiing before Joy. One run and he couldn't imagine doing it without her.

Which was bad. Really, really bad. Next week, or the week after, she'd be gone and then what? Give up his favorite sport because it was too painful to remember his loss?

Still bouncing with excitement, Joy grabbed Cade's arm and pulled him into the loading lane for the next chair. Distracted, Cade was caught off guard. They were almost late. When the chair hit them behind the calves, they fell into each other. With a clatter of poles and skis, they rose into the air. Cade shoved off Joy, trying not to notice how soft she was. Their gazes tangled. Joy's breathing hitched. Cade's heart stalled.

Joy's cheeks, already chapped with cold, pinked. She glanced away. There was a twinkle in her aquamarine eyes when she looked back.

"That one." Joy pointed with her pole. "I want to do that run."

That one. That 'run' was a cliff. There was snow. And moguls. But it was the kind of sheer that if Cade fell down, he'd tumble all the way to the bottom. The run would push Cade to his limits.

"Okay." His agreement was hesitant. He glanced at Joy and saw nothing but excitement. "If you want to."

A smile lit her face brighter than sunlight. She vibrated with it. "I want to." She was practically hopping in her seat, making the chairlift bounce.

A few minutes later, they were at the top, looking down. There was no way to pick a line. All Cade could see were the first few moguls and the occasional tops of the bigger bumps. Cade glanced, concerned, at Joy.

"Ready?" Joy didn't wait for him to answer. She push-kicked her skis, hopped in the air and dropped off the cliff.

Boom. Boom. Boom. Joy bounded over the bumps, her ass popping like a piston. On the eighth bump, she launched into the sky. Her skis scratched her back. She landed in the snow, bounced three more times and was up again in a ballet pirouette. She dropped from view.

Cade pushed after her. At two-hundred-twenty pounds, his forty-eight-year-old thighs simply couldn't pump out the squats Joy had. Every third bump, he broke his line. He made the base without wrecking--but it was close.

"Joy." Cade vacuumed in order to catch his breath. "You can ski."

Her joy, already radiating off her, turned up another megawatt. "Yeah. I'm not bad." She skated a pace or two and began a gentle glide towards the lift.

Cade dropped in beside her. "Not bad? I ski thirty--forty times a year. I can't ski like that. How often you get up?" He was still puffing.

Joy rolled her shoulders noncommittally. "Ten--fifteen times a year."

"Really? No way. I'm barely at peak after my tenth or fifteenth time up."

Joy glanced at him. The blue in her aquamarine eyes rather popped in the sunlight. "I was on the ski team in high school."

"That's cool." More than cool, Cade thought. He was actually envious. "What were your events?"

"Slalom. Super-G. I wasn't good enough to win but I regularly placed. Bethany was always first and since we were on the same team--I always came in behind her."

Joy fell silent. Her expression wilted a little. When they boarded the lift again, she leaned against the safety bar. She stared off towards the job site. "I wish we didn't have to go to work."

Cade hesitated. There'd been a tired note in Joy's voice. How could he blame her? With her travel, she'd effectively worked thirty-six hours straight the prior day. "You could--" His tone was cautious. She'd been so focused on the job, on pleasing her boss. Their deadline was imminent, but... "--take a day off. Today is Saturday."

"I know but..." A heavy huff misted in the icy air. Frozen droplets sparked in the sun. "But there's the deadline and the bonus and--my bonus." She fell silent. The suspended chair rattled over one of the towers. Joy kicked her skis, making the chair bounce. "Steve will have my ass."

Cade gnawed on his lip. He gathered his bravery. "Steve is not here."

Joy side-eyed Cade. He tried to maintain his courage under her scrutiny. He failed.

"Perhaps a half-day?" he said.

Joy surveyed the mountain. More and more guests were arriving at the resort. The lines forming at the bottom of the mountain suggested their first track status would be ending soon.

"Did your wife ski?" Joy blurted. She was still scanning the mountain. Cade could not see her expression. "Er--sorry. Ex-wife." Her voice sounded edgy.

"Yes. And no. She snowboarded. Sometimes."

"Really? Fab. I've always wanted to try. It was just that--well--why spend a day on my butt trying to learn something I don't know I'd like when I could spend the same day having the time of my life? Right? Was she any good?"

Were they really talking about his ex-wife? Cade didn't want to be talking about his ex-wife. Two nights ago, he'd been making out with Joy in a Jacuzzi. Had it gone on ten seconds longer, Cade'd probably been peeling Joy out of her thong--condom or not. Cade scratched the back of his head.

"Yeah. Good enough."

"Did you--" Joy hesitated. "--go often? With her, I mean."

"Sure. I guess. When we could get time off of work on the same day. She didn't always want to go. Said she got in my way."

"Didn't you stick with her?" Was she judging him? Her words kind of suggested she was, but the note in her voice said otherwise. Still, there was an edgy disquiet in her tone that didn't fit her earlier joy.

"Of course. At least--" Discomfort welled within Cade. "--most of the time. I might've done a run or two without her, but yeah, I skied with her. I just liked--" Something black, with lots of razor claws, welled up in his chest. But the claws weren't as long as they'd once been. They didn't gouge as deep as they once had. "--being with her."

Joy turned her gaze upon him. Aquamarine eyes scanned his face. Cade bore the scrutiny as long as he could until he had to turn away.

"You mentioned work."

"Yeah."

"Does my name bother you?"

Cade's gaze snapped back to Joy's. "Your name?" Panic pinballed through his adrenal system. Had he told her?

"Sometimes you--" The chair lift bounced over another tower while Joy considered her words. "--look lost after saying my name."

Cade deflated. The vapor from his lungs exited in a white puff. Had it reflected how he felt, it would've been black.

"My wife's--my ex-wife's name was Heather. Heather Joy Whitacre Hawthorn." Cade coughed. "I--uh." The cement mixer gravel would not clear from his throat. "She was the light of my life. My--uh--pet name for her was my Joy."

Joy's eyes widened. She looked down at her skis and then up at the off-ramp. "Oh." The word was exhaled on a sigh. She didn't say any more until the lift had reached the apex of their journey and they'd disembarked. Joy skated hard, putting distance between them.

"One more run," she called over her shoulder. "Race you to the bottom!"

Their cheerless topic seemingly forgotten, playfulness rang in her voice. However, Cade already knew Joy well enough to tell the timber was off.

Like most men, Cade had been molded by the competitive stereotype. He put in a strong effort. His best effort. Joy was Super-G.

Laundry, Sir?

Joy

Ladder logic spilled across Joy's screen. The lift control system had power now, so she'd gone ahead and configured the PLC. She'd downloaded basic test programs to two of the touch screen HMI. She was now testing basic control functions and communications. It was going surprisingly smoothly, considering how distracted she was.

Heather. Her middle name had been Joy. He'd called her Joy! No wonder he acted so hesitant around her.

The door to the drive room behind her opened and closed. Tools clattered as Cade dug in the electrician's gang box. Joy glanced over her shoulder at him. He looked her way, spared Joy a warm smile and exited the room.

He was beautiful. And big. Not fat. It had something to do with the width of his shoulders, the wedge shape of his torso and his arms--big--so big. He looked rugged--like Rainier. And like Rainier on a clear day, his presence eclipsed all.

The exterior door opened. A chill blast scattered a few of Joy's prints. Randi, Bullwinkle's maintenance man, stepped inside. He held the door for a rounder dude. Like Randi, he was shorter than Joy. Yet the new guy had her by at least a hundred pounds--maybe two. He appeared of age with Cade, but wore those years less well.

With a start, Joy recognized him. He was Steve's Allen-Bradley dickwad. Which, incidentally, wasn't helpful. She couldn't call him dickwad, and she actually had no solid evidence that he was.

"Mrs. Hauk--"

Aaannnd he knew her name. Had Steve ever told her his name?

"--good to see that you are here." He walked up to her. His stride was just short of a waddle. He stripped a glove and offered his hand.

She pushed to her feet and took his hand cautiously. "Nice to see you again, Mr..." She pleaded with her eyes that he not make a big deal of her ignorance.

His hand was soft and pudgy, but his grip was firm--although not painfully so. "Walkingshaw. Donald Walkingshaw." Donald gave Joy a friendly smile. "You missed the introductions on Monday." He pumped her arm once and released her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Walkingshaw."

"Sorry. Don. Call me Don." Don scanned the room. They stayed for a time on one of the HMIs and its basic, barely functional test program. "I came up to see your--our progress. But it looks like we are not the only ones behind schedule."

"Those are just test programs--" Joy's tongue tied itself in a knot. "--Mr. Wal--Don--Donald--Don." Heat scorched her cheeks.

"May I be frank with you, Mrs. Hauk?"

Uh-oh. "Miss--and--um--you can call me Joy." She had to give him something--to maybe soften the blow. "Yes?"

"Joy," Don said, as if testing her name. "Was Monday the first time you'd heard of this job?"

"No." A sulfurous miasma burbled in Joy's stomach. Don's tone implied something different than his words. "We talked about it last May. Steve was--"

"Sorry to interrupt, Ms. Hauk--Joy. I misspoke. Was Monday the first day you knew you were assigned to this job?"

Fear wormed its way through her heart. She may not have liked him, but she did not want to diss Steve. He was her boss. Loyalty was important--wasn't it? "Yes?"

Cade chose that moment to enter the room. He stopped at the door. His gaze did a slow meander from Randi to Don to Joy. Rather than going for his tools, he propped a shoulder against the wall.

She felt warmed that he wanted to support her, but what did he think he was going to do? She gifted her maybe man a careful smile but hoped he wouldn't interfere. She had this. Cade's expression warmed in response. Joy felt fuzzy.

Oblivious to the byplay, Don stripped his other glove and fished some documents from his satchel. He handed Joy a single typed page. "Did you write this control narrative?"

"I--" The document was Steve's, with some pretty letterhead. Joy's head sagged. Her shoulders sagged. Fuzzy evaporated. Outing her boss couldn't do her career any favors. Nor would lying. "No."

"How about this one?" Don handed her a thirty-page document.

"Yes."

"When did you have time to write it?"

"In the Denver Airport?" Joy hadn't meant it as a question, but it came out as one.

Don quirked an eyebrow. It looked kind of odd from her angle above him. "I manage sales across the entire West Coast and Rocky Mountain regions. Your name has come across my desk more than once, Joy."

Fear sank its icy claws into Joy's heart. "It has?"

"Clearwater. Marina. IPP. My contacts at Watt speak highly of you."

Fear's grip on her heart eased. "They do?"

"They do. We're doing a lot of business at Clearwater right now and they say you've been a big help. I'm told if anyone can pull this off, you can."

Oh. Wow. "I--" Joy didn't know what to say. She shared a smile with Cade and he beamed in return. Fuzzy didn't begin to describe the feeling that swelled within her. "Thank you."

"Joy." Don paused for effect. "I'm goin' to be frank once more. I don't think you can."

Whatever that feeling had been, it popped like a balloon. "Oh." Cade stood up from where he leaned against the wall.

"Even if you can, they can't." He waved at the electricians outside the window. Kyle had some PVC jacketed conduit in a bender. "Still, I'm glad to have you on the team. For an eleventh-hour narrative written in an airport--you did a pretty bang-up job." Don handed her a business card. "If you need something--parts, documents, referrals, a recommendation--holler. I know laundry when I see it."

"Laundry, sir?"

"Ms. Hauk. Joy. I know you've been hung out to dry."

Country Swing

Cade

Cade couldn't keep the amused smile off of his face. It was eleven p. m. and Joy was--bouncing. There was no other word for it. Smile on her face. Starlight in her eyes. In Cade, such behavior would've been cause for concern. Cade suspected Joy was just--

Yup. Joy was filled with joy.

Joy had called it quits on the job site early. She'd extended her rentals for a week and then roped Cade into skiing well past his dinner time. When even she'd admitted that she could eat, Joy had turned down Rocky's in favor of the drive into town. Cade had obliged because he would've climbed Rheasilva Peak just for a chance to see that glorious smile that Joy'd now gifted him thirty-seven times in the past hour. But who was counting? Not Cade. He was so gone for this woman.

"Let's do something fun. Do you want to do something fun?" Joy skipped out the door Cade held open. For a second, it looked like she might go all Yellow Brick Road. "I want to do something fun."

"Sure," Cade said. Honestly, keeping up with Joy on the slopes had exhausted him. He was kind of looking forward to bed. But Joy was smiling again and there was no saying no to that smile. "Did you have something in mind?"

"Yup." Joy held up her phone. She'd been scrolling through it while he'd been paying for their dinner. "This."

Rippers. That's what the Yelp review called it. The picture made it look like a bar masquerading as a nightclub. Looking up, Cade saw that Ripper's was right across the street. A steady stream of people flowed in and out. A rhythmic, sonic boom base thrummed from the maw of its revolving door.

"They're doing country swing and two steppin' tonight."

"Um." Cade combed a hand through his hair. "I can't dance." That wasn't entirely true. He'd taken about three months of West Coast swing classes prior to his prom--some twenty-plus years ago.

"Oh. Come on. It'll be fun." Joy spotlighted him with her smile. "I'll help you."

Cade cycled a centering breath and gifted Joy a wry grin of his own. "Is that code for you're going to make an ass of me?" He strode towards the street. There was no point in finding parking in the lot across the way.

Joy bounced past, snagged his hand and tugged Cade to hurry him up. She was lit up brighter than the Christmas constellations lining the street. They dodged the non-existent traffic on Quaking's Main Street and entered Ripper's on Curves Like A Back Road.

"Do you want a drink?" The music wasn't as ear-shattering as Cade had feared, although he still had to shout to be heard. The press of bodies wasn't too pressure cooker either. The building was probably at only twice its fire marshal rated capacity.

Joy planted a fist on her hip and pointed towards the dance floor. She tried for a glacial glare, but the spark in her eyes ruined it. The smile that carved her face screamed playful. When Cade hesitated, no fewer than three men took a step towards Joy because no back road had curves like hers. With a gorilla grunt to warn off the competition, Cade grabbed Joy's outstretched hand. He led her to the corner of the dance floor--because, hey, he didn't want to get in anyone's way.

Five minutes later, Joy was in stitches. She'd gotten good at dancing her toes out of the way, but Cade was still slide-step, slide-step, trip. Joy looked glitter drunk. Cade's hackles were up. The coyotes, ones that might actually know how to dance, had crept closer. The DJ had spun up Look What God Gave Her and Cade was not the only one with eyes.

What he wouldn't have given for a four rounds of Jose Cuervo right now. With no other option, Cade surrendered to the moment. He tore his gaze off his two left feet and laser-locked his eyes on Joy. Joy nodded her encouragement and he pulled her into a slide-step, a second, a third and a back-slide. A butterfly spin brought them nose-to-nose over his left shoulder. Thank God for muscle memory because that'd come from nowhere. The surprised delight that fireworked in Joy's expression rivaled nothing Cade'd ever known. Something swelled in his chest and--

Cade spun Joy out of the embrace. The mahogany-colored fan of Joy's hair showered his face with angel kisses as it brushed past. Slid, twirl, dip, twist, twirl, twirl and twirl until Joy was delirious with laughter. Her smile could've powered all of North America.

Joy fell into him and clutched his shirt. She hung on Cade as I Love This Life closed out. "Oh my God. Thank you!" Joy smiled up at him--soul-light, joy shining from her eyes. "See. That wasn't so hard." She rested her head upon his shoulder. Cade banded his arms about her and they swayed to Kiss Somebody. Joy's gaze met his. She bit her lip. Cade's blood pressure spiked. His chest pressured up as though his relief valve had busted.

Joy looked away and sighed. Her smile dropped. She waved at the bar. "I'll take that drink now."

Guarding his claim, Cade kept Joy's hand in his. He snow-plowed their way to the bar. The pub didn't have her KBS. The only chocolate stout on hand was a Black Butte Porter. Cade picked up the same. His ski-bruised body, the hour and the fact he was driving red-flagged his preferred whisky.

"Wow. I like!" Joy shouted over one hundred decibel Dibs. She bopped to the beat. Pressed chest to chest by the crush at the bar, she moved against him. Cade shifted self-consciously. It was only a matter of time before Joy noticed the goliath threatening to burst his fly.

Joy's attention drifted back to the dance floor. "I don't want to leave." Her voice was mournful. "I haven't had this much fun in--" Her expression turned pensive. "--forever."

Cade's heart did a belly flop. Joy wasn't joyful anymore. "Do you--" Cade couldn't believe he was about to ask this. "--want to dance?"

Joy's smile exploded across her face. "Yes." She feathered a kiss onto Cade's cheekbone. "I'd love to--" She looked at her phone. The time was pushing one. "--but we have to go to work tomorrow." She let out a hard groan. "Early. And I wanna get more runs in come morning."

Cade dropped some cash and abandoned his bottle. Hand in hand, they ditched the crowd to the opening notes of More Than I Know.

Way to Ruin a Party

Joy

Joy's skis scratched her back. A powdered sugar plume puffed from the snow when she alit. She carved an arc, dropping her speed from Bugatti to Mustang.

Joy wished every morning commute involved skiing. Coffee had nothing on crisp, cold, white powder under the runners. After last night, she'd risen late. Still, she'd let Cade talk her into an extra hour on the slopes. Not that that had been hard. It was Sunday, after all. Skiing was more heavenly than religion. Steve wouldn't have been happy if he'd known. But everyone needed a little time off--right?

But now it was time to go to work. Joy ripped out a hard stop beside the job site. She unclipped the bindings on her boots and clomped up the industrial, steel grate stairs to the control room--Cade on her heels. She couldn't help but wiggle her ass.

"Good grief, Joy--" Cade fist-bumped her shoulder. After last night, he seemed a little more into her. "--how am I to work with that image in my mind?"

Laughter erupted. She kicked snow from her boots and clomped inside.

Joy's joy faltered.

Steve stared at her ski boots before his glare rose to her boobs. "Fuck, Joy. It's past ten o'clock. Where've you been?"

"Steve? I was just--" Joy's lips pumped like those of a drowning fish. "I haven't had a day off since Thanksgi--"

"Who's this guy?" Steve's stare flicked over Joy's shoulders and back to her boobs. Invisible spiders crawled across Joy's skin, making her want to throw up. What was that in his eyes? Possessiveness? Jealousy? Disappointment? Disgust?

"Oh... I... um. Cade." Joy moved out of the doorway so Cade could step forward. She made a vague motion with her hand. "Cade. Steve. Steve. Cade. Cade's a drive tech for Toshiba. Steve's my boss."

Cade strode forward, hand extended for a shake. "How do you do? Joy's been a real asset. We're grateful MMI sent their best."

"Nice to meet you." Steve's pitch was poisoned and he deliberately refused to take Cade's hand. "She told you that, did she?"

Cade glanced back at Joy. An eyebrow arced. "No..." The word was drawn out. He turned back to Steve. "It's just obvious. She's got here on Wednesday, then ran to Seattle and back on Friday, but she's already testin' I/O. That's impressive."

Steve's face contorted like a Notre Dame gargoyle.

"Cade." Joy couldn't keep the plaintive note out of her voice. When he looked at her, she nodded, just slightly, towards the drive room.

"Regardless," Steve growled, "this has to be done tomorrow."

"Not going to happen," Cade said. "The electricians won't finish until the end of the week at the soonest."

"Cade." Joy motioned towards the drive room door once more.

"It has to be. We don't get paid if it's not."

"You can't lay that on J--"

A hot, sticky, arsenic slurry surged through Joy. "Cade!" Joy marched up to the two men. "My job. My boss. My problem. Mine. Okay?"

Cade's face twisted through several expressions. Joy wasn't sure they weren't a mirror of her own.

"Joy--"

She cut him off with a sharp gesture towards the drive room door. Cade's expression turned stony. He grabbed his tool bag and personal protective equipment and stomped through the door.

Steve's narrow glare followed Cade's retreat. "What was that about?" he said when the door banged closed.

Joy ran a hand through her hair. She rounded up her hard hat and other PPE. She commandeered a folding chair so she might sit and lace up her Red Wing work boots. "You're not the only one that wants this job done. Going back to Seattle cost us a day."

Steve crossed his arms. Despite being in a work zone, he hadn't bothered with PPE. "It didn't seem that way."

"Well--it was."

"He made you late for work."

"I made me late for work, Steve. I love skiing. I was on the ski team in high school. I've not had a day off in more than a week, and, oh my God, Steve, the snow's right--"

"This isn't high school. You have a job, Joy. We didn't send you up here to fuckin' goof off."

"I know. I just--"

"Whatever, Joy. We're here to work."

Frustration burned a path through Joy's veins. Would the guy ever let her finish a sentence? Joy fired up her laptop and plugged in the various comms. It could take several minutes to get the PLC talking.

Joy's shoulders sagged. "I am working."

"And yet I've been on the job site for an hour an' you're barely startin'."

There was nothing Joy could say to that. "When'd you arrive in Quaking? I thought you weren't coming up until next week."

"It is next week." Steve's head made a sharp nod towards the drive room door. "What's up between you and that dickwad?"

Dickwad? Was every man a dickwad in Steve's world? Joy wondered if the senior partners Theo, George and Jeff were dickwads too.

"We're working together. Friends. He loves skiing, too." Joy cringed inside. They were more than friends. Weren't they? Friends didn't stick their tongues down each other's throats while hot-tubbing in their underwear. Or were they friends with benefits? Fuck buddies that didn't fuck? Tongue buddies? Despite the chill in the room, Joy's cheeks heated. She bent over her laptop such that her tresses hid her face. "He helped me out when my car died."

"Yeah. About that. You can use mine now."

"What about you?"

"I meant you can ride with me. Where're you staying?"

Panic zipped up her spine. Steve had explicitly told her the lodge would be too expensive, but she was in no way ready to reveal that she was staying with Cade. "The lodge."

"The lodge. Bullwinkle lodge? I told you that was too expensive!"

Yup. He'd remembered. "Well, I didn't have a car and the motel I was staying at burnt down." Dragon fire might've been less heated than the words Joy spit. "What was I supposed to do?"

"Yeah. I saw that. What a wreck." Steve scrubbed a hand through his ruffled blond hair. The man wasn't really all that bad looking, but, friggin' a, he had a way of making Joy frigid. "I guess you can stay with me."

"What?" The forte exclamation ripped from Joy's throat.

Steve voiced an uneasy chuckle. "I meant you can stay in the condo I rented. Cabin really. There's plenty of room."

"You rented a condo?" Joy's voice went pianissimo with the unfairness of it all. "And I can't stay in the lodge?"

Steve shrugged. "It was May. Things were cheaper. Besides--" He pointed at himself. "--boss."

Hadn't they known the deadline back in May? Why was he only showing up now? "I'm already set up--" Joy waved vaguely at the window, looking down the mountain towards the lodge. "--here."

"This job's already bleeding money, Joy. Without the bonus, we're in the red. We need to save every penny we can."

We are? "Who quoted this job?" A hand flew over her mouth. She had not meant to say that. Panic knotted Joy's vocal cords a moment too late. Joy knew exactly who'd quoted this job. He was standing right in front of her.

Steve's jaw tightened. "That doesn't matter," he growled. He turned around and stalked over to the PLC cabinet. "So what's the status of this fuckin' thing?"

Over the next hour, Joy debriefed her boss. She ran through the PLC program. The I/O that'd been tested. What still needed to be tested. What needed to be fixed. She showed him her temporary human-machine-interface programs and the more permanent ones she'd not yet finished. Joy stepped him through the control narrative.

"What the hell, Joy? You're making this too complicated."

Joy's breasts rose and fell with a lead-laden breath. "It's what they expect. What they need."

Frustration etched Steve's face. "It's a damned chairlift, Joy."

"Which people sit on fifty or more feet in the air."

"Crap." Steve started pacing. "We don't have time for this. It has to be done tomorrow."

Joy hesitated to remind Steve of Cade, but Cade'd been right. "The electricians won't be done tomorrow."

"But if we are, we still get paid."

"I can't finish until the electricians are done. Controls are always last. You know that."

"Fuck, Joy."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Get to work." Steve made a sharp gesture at Joy's laptop. "And don't be late tomorrow!"

Hours later, Joy's elbows were on either side of her laptop. The heels of her hands pressed into either side of her head. The ladder logic still swam before her eyes.

Cade had stealthily pried when Steve had been out of earshot. Joy had not wanted to talk. Cade was going to eviscerate her when she moved out. Or moved in with Steve. Or both. A sick feeling twisted in her gut. God, she didn't want to do this. They'd both known their fling--yes, fling--call it what it was--had an expiration date. But she'd wanted more than just a kiss and a dance. Joy already ached with her loss.

"Hey, boss." Brandi's voice cracked over the radio that Mountain Industrial Services had brought in to aid in the I/O testing. "Rack one, slot five, point three."

Joy found the instrument in her program and checked it against her prints. She keyed up the radio. "Normally closed. It's on."

"Now?"

"Off." A few seconds ticked by. "On."

"Looks good on my end."

"Let's mark it off." Joy highlighted the I/O point on her print.

"'Kay. Moving to the next one."

They repeated the process. They marked off two more. They started into the next.

"Um. That's not right," Joy said.

"Yeah. Something's wrong. Let me check the wiring. I might be a bit."

"'Kay." 'Kay wasn't the proper radio lingo, but ten-four was just dumb when it was only the two of them. Especially when Joy had never bothered learning any other radio lingo. She alt-tabbed to her HMI programming software and continued building operator screens.

The exterior door opened. Brandi entered and headed over to the open PLC cabinet. She performed a quick voltmeter test on a series of terminals.

"So what's up--" Brandi waved a voltmeter probe. "--boss? Bad day?"

"Who said anything's wrong?"

"You mean despite that dick you call boss?" Brandi shot Joy a contemplative look. "Well, there's the fact that you look like someone stole your favorite cookie."

"I--Is it that obvious?"

"Totally."

"Fudgenuggets."

Brandi chuckled. "Fudgenuggets. I like that. So, what's going on with you and Cade? Did you mount him or something? Was it not good?"

"I--What?"

"Oh, come on. You an' that drive guy have been drooling all over each other since the moment you arrived. Now you're moping and he's breathing fire."

"Ugh."

"So did you hook up? Netflix an' chill?"

"No, not yet. I--" Why was she saying this? She didn't know Brandi from Eve. But it would be nice to get it off her chest. "--kinda want to."

"Kinda?"

Joy shot Brandi a tight-lipped grimace.

"Sorry. Not my business." Brandi turned back to the PLC cabinet. She tapped her hard hat. "But this really is a better policy. Having a boyfriend helps with the you not letting people eff with you part."

Joy opened her mouth to defend herself. Say something. But she didn't know what. Her phone dinged. Steve's contact bubble popped up.

"I'm heading out. Got some admin work to do back at the condo. Ping me and I'll pick you up when you've checked out."

Joy blanched--from fury to fear. For a dizzy minute, Joy felt like she might fall from her chair. She sucked air. Her heart hammered. When Joy's world righted itself, she set her thumbs dancing across her phone. "Steve, there's no reason for me--" She deleted it. Money would be Steve's reason. She'd have to tell him she was bunking for free.

"I've got a room with--" She deleted that too. She wasn't prepared to reveal Cade to Steve. She'd prefer not to reveal anything about her personal life to Steve. He already knew too much.

"I received a free room after the fire--" Joy nailed down backspace. Lying was not her style. It happened sometimes, but she tried not to. She always ended up taking it back.

Joy sagged. "KK." She wanted to cry. Maybe Cade's point was better than hers. She needed to find her spine. She wanted her career. But this wasn't a career. This was being pumped full of emotional poison until every happy thought she'd ever had sicked up. Steve was a Dementor in disguise. But she was so close. She had to be close. Didn't the next miner strike gold just an inch from where the last miner gave into despair? Didn't the sun dawn just after the darkest hour of the night? This had to be her darkest hour. If she gave up now, all her time, all her effort, everything she'd born, would be for naught.

But she'd finally clicked with Cade. Now she wished she hadn't. Stepping out now, hurt. And he wouldn't understand. He didn't understand anything about her discomfort at challenging her boss. He was her boss. Why did nobody understand that? Once upon a time, a woman had a husband she had to obey. Now she had a boss and, if she was lucky, a mentor. That's what she'd been taught, told, was the recipe for female success in her profession--by professors, advisors, books and society. And--friggin' a--she wanted to succeed.

But did she know what success looked like--anymore? Had she ever known?

Joy looked up--blinking hard. Brandi, who'd clearly been watching her, softened.

"I think I've got it. You wanna check? I'll go out to the switch."

Joy clicked over to her PLC software. The lines blurred before her eyes.

Brandi paused in the doorway, letting in the frigid air. "Boss." Brandi waited until Joy looked at her. "It's really just a decision." She paused as though considering her words. "If it were up to me, I know which one I'd make, and it involves wrapping myself around a tall, dark, moody, older man who is clearly gone for you." Brandi stepped out.

Cade was gone for her, wasn't he? And now she was gone.

QA/QC

Cade

"Join me for some morning runs?" The timestamp on the text proclaimed he'd sent the text four minutes ago. A dancing dot finally appeared.

Joy's text came in. "No."

No? No! What had happened? They'd had a good time. She'd had a good time. A great time! Hadn't she? He'd danced with her, for heaven's sake. For more than an hour! So what if her boss had shown up? They could still do a few runs. He wasn't bunking with them.

Except she was no longer bunking with Cade, either. When the MIS electricians had called it a day, Cade had but a few minutes left of his QA/QC. Not wanting to quit while he was ahead, he'd taken an extra fifteen minutes to finish the job. He'd exited the drive room, stunned Joy hadn't been waiting for him. He'd been more stunned when he found she'd cleared out her half of the suite.

Cade had sent Joy six texts, including one totally eloquent, "WTF!?!"

That had prompted Joy's one response, "Sorry." His call had rung once before going to voicemail.

Cade ran a hand through his hair. What did he need Joy for anyway? She didn't want to tell him what was going on; that was her business. But there was no way no how he was going to beg like he'd begged Heather. He smashed his boots into his ski bindings.

And promptly discovered even first tracks had lost their luster. So rather than making another run, Cade simply skied to the job site. Which was when he realized there was nothing left to do--not until Joy and the electricians were ready for startup. He clomped, in his ski boots, back out on the catwalk surrounding the installation. Cade leaned over the guardrail and dialed up Jasper. Jasper answered his desk phone on the second ring.

"Hey, man."

"Hey." Cade's vacant stare tumbled down over the ski slopes. Far below, the electricians were loading up on the snow-cat. Cade couldn't be sure, but it looked like Joy and that Steve guy had joined them. Cade stood up and wandered around the backside of the control room.

"What's up?"

"Drive's assembled. QA/QC is done. Everything checks out."

"That's great! When's startup?"

"Not sure. Those MIS electricians you got are banging it out. Still, there's a lot that needs to be done. Most of the power wiring is done, but there are still all kinds of controls."

"What about the kid?"

"What kid?"

"The girl--er--programmer--woman--ugh--Joy. How's Joy working out? She any good?"

"She's--" Cade did not want to be talking about Joy. "--okay. I guess." Which was a lie. Joy was a rock star when it came to controls programming. Guilt flooded his chest, so he said, "She rips on skis." He was an ass sometimes.

"You've skied with her?" Jasper's voice took on a suspicious timber. Cade swore he heard a note of suppressed glee.

Anxiety momentarily shorted Cade's brain. He didn't need Jasper looking into this. Never mind that tight ass in ski pants had been Jasper's idea. But what was there to hide? So they went dancing? Cade was never getting in Joy's ski pants. And if that wasn't just the saddest idea ever, Cade didn't know what was.

"Yeah. A few runs. Over the weekend. But she's mostly been concentrating on the startup."

"Huh. Who'd've thunk," Jasper said. He'd probably heard a lot more than Cade had intended to say. "When'll she be ready?"

"I'm--" Cade combed his fingers through the ice clinging in his hair. "--not sure. Her boss showed up yesterday. He seems to be a distraction."

"Are they an item?"

A sulfurous burn filled Cade's throat. Cade coughed to clear the rasp. "Who says that anymore?"

"I do. Answer the question."

"I don't think so." Some nasty green beast clawed at Cade's throat. Were they? Had they been? Cade's mind skipped through every conversation Joy'd mentioned Steve. The possibility of those two together seemed--unlikely. Yet, Joy'd disappeared from Cade's room, with no explanation, the moment Steve had turned up. The green beast in Cade's chest belched vapors that burned his blood.

"Are you two an item?"

Cade froze.

"Cade?"

Anxiety played the xylophone on Cade's nerves

"Cade! Dude! Did. You. Hook up?"

Cade couldn't believe he was having this conversation. What'd happened to imperceptive men? "We went dancing."

"So, no hookup?"

"Of course not!" Really? Of course not? Had things been just a little different, Cade've been all over Joy.

"Well--" Jasper dragged out his ells. Cade could practically see Jasper running a hand through his hair. "--that's good." He paused again. "I suppose."

Cade groused, "You think?"

"So are you marrying her?"

"What the? No." Cade's pitch was as grumpy as his words.

"That bad, huh? She turned you down flat, didn't she?"

"Fuck you."

Jasper chuckled. "So what's up then? You sound like a jilted fool."

He was a jilted fool. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Is there anything I need to know?"

I wish. God, what a warped thing to wish for, but-- "No."

"Good." There was a pause where Cade imagined Jasper was rearranging his thoughts. "So the drive's done. The startup deadline was today. But that's not our fault. Maybe I can still weasel our bonus. You got the QA/QC sheets?"

"Of course."

"Can you send them to me? As soon as possible? Like now?"

"They should already be in your inbox."

Cade hung up, clipped into his skies and abandoned the job site for the remainder of the day.

***

Cade was winded. The hike to the top of the ridge line in his ski boots, nonetheless, had been brutal. Air so cold the exhale of his breath crystalized into little fog clouds of ice flakes burned his lungs. When he topped the ridge, a gust nearly knocked him over.

Beauty spread before him. Ice-capped peaks rippled away to the east, like waves upon a white ocean. West, a deep valley and more mountains. It was the kind of beauty he loved. It should have brought him peace.

God damn it, that woman! He could not excise her. In a few short days, she'd co-oped his heart and made it all her own. She now lived there with her icy, razor nails, lacerating him with his every thought. He should've been at the job site--helping where he could. But he could not see her, talk to her. He was afraid of what he might say. He couldn't be hurt any more than he was. Joy'd already ruined him. But as much as he hated it, he would not, could not, out her in front of others. As much as he wanted her to know his pain, he did not want to hurt her, especially in the eyes of others.

But that's what would happen if they came face to face. He would lash out, explode. He'd call her every nasty name ever invented, mean none of them and regret all of them before they even exited his mouth. He'd do it in front of Steve, whom she clearly had a thing for. The man was an asshole, but there was no accounting for the tastes of people and there was no other rational explanation for her behavior. Cade would weaponize Joy's time with himself and use it against her. But as much as his ego wanted to eviscerate her, he, his heart, did not. He could not trust himself.

So, rather than working, he'd made a hike to a view that he should've loved to do a ski run that should've had him vibrating with excitement. But he felt nothing but pain. Pain in his heart. Pain in his head. He'd tried to stay away because he knew the woman would wreck him when she left. Cade had never anticipated her leaving while there was still potential for spending time together. This was so, so, much worse than never seeing her again. The startup, when he did need to be at work, would be the worst days of his life.

Cade made a careful bed for his skies in the snow--he did not need them slipping down either side of the ridge--and clipped in. He looked down the mountain. It was steeper, tougher and more technical than he was used to doing. He'd done this kind of thing once or twice when he was younger and had a death wish. At this moment, right now, death almost seemed a pleasant escape. But he now had two hells, an eternity with Heather and an eternity with Joy. He preferred the first. Heather had wounded him. There was no word that could possibly express the pain Joy had inflicted. This was not Heather blowing Derik all over again. Joy and Steve were so, so much worse. And he hadn't even seen anything.

Cade got it. He didn't own Joy. He didn't want to own Joy. He didn't want her to not be herself because she was frightened of how it might affect him. But he sure as hell wanted Joy. As far as he could tell, Steve wasn't even into Joy. Steve might look at Joy's boobs, Joy's ass, but that's as far as it went. Unrequited love, that Cade could understand. Holy hell, could he understand.

He made a snap decision and picked a line. Cade threw himself off the ridge. If death was waiting, he'd embrace it at heartbreak speeds.

Too soon, too soon, he'd reached the bottom of what would be the Summit Lift--and his heart was still pulsing the acid that was Joy through his veins. A hundred yards above, he powered into a stop that threatened to break his legs. Joy stood, head down, looking at her phone on the catwalk deck outside the drive room. Even in a hard hat and Carhartt jacket, the color and shape of sackcloth, the sight of her took his breath away.

Cade's picture of heaven and hell in the very same image.

As he watched, her eyes rose from her phone to gaze down the mountain. After a long, held breath, she turned and entered the drive room. Things on the job, or more likely, Steve--she was so much more competent than she understood--must not've been going her way. She looked... dejected.

Cade checked to make sure none of the electricians had tried to contact him and then skied a wide track around the job site. He noted another text from Joy but ignored it. His heart couldn't take another proverbial 'fuck you,' and while he wanted to be a better man, he simply couldn't trust himself with her right now--probably ever. She was a smart woman; she'd find whatever answer she needed elsewhere. It wasn't like he was the only person on the planet that knew Toshiba drives. He considered calling Jasper and begging for a way out. But Jasper probably didn't have a way out. Casey's wife was still sick, although the last time he'd checked in, it seemed like the worst was over. Death no longer loomed.

God, with tragedy in the cards, Cade's heartbreak over Joy wouldn't even register on Jasper's nightmare problems to manage list. Trying to push the thoughts that'd pinioned his heart aside, Cade skied the day away.

He was utterly unsuccessful. Not the ski part, the pushing his thoughts aside part. There were still a few hours left on Moose Mountain's night ski schedule when he gave up. Figuring the only place Joy and Steve could be bunking was the lodge, Cade bypassed Rocky's and went into town in the hope, need, not to run into them.

It was a good plan. He did not see them at the Elkhorn. Disaster struck on the way back to the lodge.

As he passed Snow Bunnies, a man taller than Sin led the brightest light of heaven through the entry.

Snow Bunnies? A breastaurant? Cade wouldn't've taken Joy there. Cade wouldn't've gone there. Was Joy down with that kind of thing?

Or was it all Steve?

Snow Bunnies

Joy

Steve's condo would've been nice if Steve hadn't been there--and Cade had. The A-frame cabin back wall was a plate glass window looking over a deck, Quaking and the mountain slopes. It should've been gorgeous.

Not that Joy had eyes for it. Steve hadn't tried anything, perhaps because she hadn't given him a chance. Instead, she'd locked herself in 'her room' and exited only at need. Other than getting her away from Steve, that had done her zero favors. She had way too much time to think.

And the hamster on the wheel in her head had done exactly that--all night--zero sleep.

When the snow-cat pulled up to the base of the Summit Lift the next morning, Cade's skies were already stuck in the snowbank beside the control room. Dreading what was to come, Joy tumbled out of the cat with the others, ducked her head and did her best to get to work. Cade's texts, the night before, had been a punch to the gut. His 'wtf' was a knife to her heart. His request to ski that morning a savage twist. With as bad as it hurt, Joy wondered how she still lived. But as the hours ticked by, Cade did not materialize. A new flavor of dread began to nibble at the fringes of Joy's sanity.

She'd messed up so bad.

"I need a break," Joy told Steve. He'd spent most of the morning lounging in a foldout chair. It wasn't like two engineers could work on the PLC simultaneously, but he could've been working on an HMI. There were four of them! Joy's chair screeched across the floor as she pushed away from her laptop.

Steve grunted. He didn't even look up from his phone. Joy stepped through the door to the drive room. The drive was in safety lockout. One of the electricians, Kyle, was landing PLC control wire on the drive's terminals. There was a new QA/QC sticker on the door of the drive cabinet with Cade's initials and yesterday's date.

Worry wormed its way through Joy's heart. Joy wasn't certain as to the extent of Cade's job. If the drive QA/QC was complete, he might've actually been done. Rather than relief at not having to face Cade, Joy experienced a wave of panic.

"Have you seen Cade?"

"Naw. Not for a while," Kyle said. "He lined me out this morning." Kyle pointed to a handful of scattered prints covered in highlighter. A drive manual lay on the floor amongst them. There was a boot print on a page depicting the control schematic. "Hung around for a bit to answer questions. When I didn't have any more, he took off. Can't say I blame him. There's been some sweet snow. He gave me his number. You need it?"

Despair reared its ugly head in her chest. "No." The corners of Joy's eyes pricked. "I've got it. Thank you."

"No problem."

Kyle's words prodded something numb within Joy. She ignored the sensation and popped out the exterior exit. Cade's skies were now gone.

Joy's phone was out before she even realized it. She blinked at the text she'd just sent. "I'm sorry."

A minute ticked by. Then, a second. A sense of defeat settled like a lead blanket upon Joy's shoulders. She typed out a second message.

"Can we talk?"

Nothing. Ten minutes later, Joy trudged back into the warmth of the control room. Yet the chill that had settled in her heart would not thaw.

***

It was dark and had been dark for a while when Joy dragged herself into Steve's A-frame condo. Radio silence had extended all day. The ice in her heart rivaled any pain the sub-zero temperatures had inflicted upon Joy in the days before the electricians had gotten the heater going. Joy dumped her prints, laptop and backpack library on the table. She wanted a drink, dinner and Cade. To hold her. To scream at her. To rail her like he hated her. Anything! Anything but this black-hole desolation that she'd made of her heart.

But she'd not seen Cade in two days. He'd arrive on the job site, line out and even work with the electricians. She'd see his skis. Yet, somehow, he was never present when she went looking for him. A riding crop sting of despair welled up behind Joy's eyes. She pinched the bridge of her nose to prevent the emotion from leaking out. Earlier, she'd texted Cade more times than she cared to admit. 'Please' had become a litany plea upon her phone. There'd been no response. Goliath frustration welled within Joy. This had happened with James, too. When he was ready to makeup, she wasn't. When she was, he wasn't. Resentment's rope burn filled her chest. Was this how it was always going to be with a man? Because if so, Joy wasn't sure she wanted one.

Joy sucked in a shaky breath. When she was convinced she'd temporarily diverted the waterworks, she wandered over to the fridge. There was one silver label and a six-pack of light beer. In other words, piss to drink.

"Let's grab dinner." Steve motioned towards the door without looking up from his phone. "I don't know 'bout most these places, but I've heard good things 'bout Snow Bunnies."

Snow Bunnies? Joy hesitated. "Are you sure that's not a stripper bar?" Steve had yet to stoop that low with her in tow, yet, somehow, she wouldn't put it past him. "I've eaten at Elkhorn a time or two. That was good."

"Naw. The girls are wearing clothes. Here." Steve held up his phone. There was a picture of a well-appointed bar highlighted with warm woods and brass. The one waitress in the pic was in booty shorts and what amounted to a crop top balconette.

Breastaurant. So much better. Steve hadn't even acknowledged her vote for the Elkhorn. Probably wouldn't. Joy could fight for something less insulting. But pick your battles, right? Likely not worth it. At least at Snow Bunnies, Steve might not drool on her breasts.

Steve was not worth changing out of her work grubs for. "Fine." Joy didn't even bother with her steel-toed boots. "Let's go." Joy headed for the door.

Fifteen minutes later, they were at the packed bar. Steve grabbed a booth while Joy headed for the restroom. Fortunately, there was no line. That probably had to do with the fact that the only women present within Snow Bunnies worked for the place. The guests were all male ski bum rippers. When Joy returned to Steve, there was a pile of nachos and a glass on the table.

"I got you a Bud Light," Steve said.

Joy made a face. Steve's glass contained something equally watery and blonde.

"You don't like Bud Light?" There was a note of condemnation in Steve's voice.

"No." Joy sighed. "You could've asked."

"What? Chicks like light beer."

"Not all chicks like light beer." Joy's disgust poisoned her voice. Her thing with Cade was making her... pissy. There was a less complimentary word for that and give Steve ten minutes, Joy figured he'd probably use it. "And I'm a woman. Not a chick."

Whatever Steve might've said in response was interrupted by the arrival of a young twenty-something waitress. The top of the tawny blonde's rack and the bottom of her bubble butt were openly displayed. Her nametag said, "Kimmy." Steve looked up from his phone to drool. Kimmy's plastic smile faltered for a heartbeat. A worm of shared shame burrowed under Joy's breastbone. Joy did not enjoy Steve's drool. For this woman's sake, she should've tried to get him to eat elsewhere. Joy hid behind her hair as she ordered.

"You know--" Steve tore his ogling orbs off Kimmy's ass as the poor girl retreated. "--I ran into your mother at the coffee shop again."

"I heard." Her mom texted it and Steve's qualifications as a breeding stud, at least twenty times. The vortex in Joy's gut could've sunk an aircraft carrier. "What of it?"

"I'm surprised. You're so different. It seems like you should be sweeter."

An alarm went off on the bridge of Joy's soul. "What do you mean?" Her words were sharp with displeasure.

Steve shrugged. His gaze dropped to his phone again. "I don't know. It's just sometimes you're bitchy." He made a vague gesture at her beer. His words were bland. If there was venom in them, it was hidden well.

A distressed note left Joy's throat. Yep, she'd called it. There was the word. She shouldn't care what he thought of her. Most days, she didn't care what random dicks thought of her, but Steve was her boss! She had to work with him. And who wanted to be labeled that way?

"You're calling me a bitch?" Joy's voice was pianissimo.

Steve looked up sharply. Fear ghosted across his face. "No. Shit--Joy. I didn't mean it that way. I just meant..." Steve's words trailed off.

... that I'm a bitch. Great. Her boss thought she was a bitch.

Steve heaved a sigh. "Look, Joy. I just meant that your mother's nice. Agreeable. Sweet. And you--you know--" He waved at her glass again. "--are kinda aggressive. I was just trying to be nice and get you a drink."

"Oh." No other word presented itself in Joy's thoughts. She ducked her head and scooped a nail in a concave arc under a suddenly watery eye. Joy wondered if she could request a transfer to one of MMI's other teams. Not all the bosses could be oblivious dickheads--right? Desperate to not be a bitch, Joy, her hand shaking, took a sip of her awful beer.

"So--uh--is something going on?" Joy said. Talking, even with Steve, was better than sitting alone with her thoughts.

Steve looked up at Joy's breasts before dropping his gaze back to his phone. "What do you mean?"

"You've been glued to your phone all day."

Steve rolled his eyes and cycled a heavy sigh. He set his phone aside, although it was clear he'd rather be reading it. "Checkin' email. Supers received funds for performance incentives today." Disgust tainted Steve's voice. "Such as they are. But shit..."

Joy waited. Steve did not finish the thought. His ogle had drifted towards the ass of a waitress at the neighboring table.

"Not good?" Joy asked.

"Huh?" Steve started and refocused on Joy. "No. Not good. That's an understatement. Last year we made fuckin' shit." MMI's fiscal year rolled from October to September. "This quarter's not going any better. We needed this gig's bonus, Joy. It was our best chance of turning shit around."

Guilt's pile driver hammered Joy, but what was she supposed to have done? Joy choked down another swallow of her swill.

"Some of our guys depend on those bonuses. Kids, houses, cars, chicks. Fuck, have you met Carl's girl? Seen her glitter? That's one high-maintenance bitch."

The beer was not sitting well in Joy's stomach. Carl's girl was Sabrina. Sabrina's clothes were nice, but not designer. She didn't mind wearing them, but it was Carl who liked Sabrina in the glitter and bling. That Sabrina wore it didn't make her high maintenance. Or a bitch. It made her sweet. And most of those showy clothes she bought on her own dime anyway.

"Sabrina's a friend."

"Huh? Really?" Steve eyeballed Joy's attire. Joy felt sick. Was he really comparing her work clothes to Sabrina's Christmas party dating attire? Because Joy knew that was the only time Steve had ever met her. He'd probably drooled. Incredulity flooded Joy. She was wearing ARC-rated clothes! "I wouldn't have guessed. But then again, I guess you know what I'm saying. I've been given less than half the incentive we received last year and I've got to figure out who's got to go without. Fun times." The last words were said with sarcasm. Steve's eyes flicked to Joy but didn't rest there. Rather, they landed on the rack of their waitress who'd arrived with the food. Joy asked for a KBS, or a BBP, a stout, preferably essenced with chocolate, anything they had on hand.

Joy waited for Kimmy to leave in hopes that Steve would hear her words. "Maybe you should explain the situation and--I don't know--share the pain?"

Steve took a monster mouthful of his burger. He talked around his food. "Can't do that. Got to keep the talent happy."

"We're all a team. We all have talent."

"Yeah. But some of you are quarterbacks and some of you benchwarmers. If things don't improve, I'll have to bench the benchwarmers."

Steven King horror swamped Joy. "Bench?" she choked out. "You mean lay off?"

"Yeah. There was an announcement today."

Black dots swarmed her vision. Joy swayed. It took a force of will to remain upright. All the evidence suggested Steve's value system required a quarterback to have a penis. Joy didn't have that. Which meant she was a benchwarmer. And apparently, all she brought to the bench was her rack and ass. Yep. If she wanted to keep her job and gain any recognition greater than a sub-inflationary raise, she should probably invest in push-up bras, scoop necks, micro shorts and knee pads. Office playboy. She could earn tips for tricks. That could replace her bonus and pay raise.

Joy ducked to hide her almost tears. She needn't have bothered. When she went silent, Steve wasted no time in returning to his phone. A period passed where the only noises at the table were the clink of Steve's glass against the tableware and the wet sounds of chewing with his mouth open.

After a particularly odious gulp, Steve held out his phone to Joy. "What's this?"

Joy blinked back her tears and ran a fingernail under her eye. She scanned the email. "My--uh--expense report?"

Steve retrieved his phone. "There's clothes on it."

"To replace what I lost?" Another statement turned question.

"Lost?"

"In the fire?" How could he not know this? "At the Igloo Inn? Where I was staying?" Joy felt so defeated.

"That's not MMI's problem."

Joy squeezed her eyes closed for a heartbeat. She didn't want to lose her job. She hadn't lost her job. Not yet. But if it happened, she'd need compensation for what she lost. She could not move home again and she'd need every dime before she found another job. Cade had wanted her to stand up for herself. Something warm, powerful and strong welled up in Joy's soul just at the thought of Cade's name. It was his words that returned to her.

"I--yeah--it is. I'm here on MMI business. I was in the motel because of MMI business. I needed to replace my clothes in order to keep doing MMI business."

"I'm not approving this. There're bras for crying out loud."

"I. Am. A. Woman. I wear bras." Joy looked away from Steve--because friggin' a! Joy's face was hot--and not in an embarrassed kind of way--more in a, she was about to say something that'd cost her her job, kind of way. The sea of bodies around the bar parted before her gaze, where her vision snagged upon whisky eyes.

Those eyes immediately dropped, as though they'd not wanted to be caught starting. But Joy could not help the elation that stole through her soul. Cade. Cade was here!

"I'm not approving this," Steve said, drawing Joy's attention. His gaze slid away and locked on their waitress' breasts. Kimmy dropped off Joy's KBS. Joy stopped her before she could go.

"See that guy at the bar?" Kimmy turned towards the bar, but Joy could feel her blank expression. Joy'd just described at least twenty men. She couldn't exactly say the hot one because Kimmy probably wouldn't have known who she meant. "Red shirt, jeans, those sorta cowboy boots." Joy'd narrowed it down to about three men. Joy sighed. "The older one. The one not drooling over the bartender's boobs." She probably should've opened with that. As far as she could tell, there was only one man not doing that.

"Oh, you mean the hot one."

Heat rose within Joy, and not the pleasant kind. She was not jealous of this--this--this girl. This really, really hot, barely wearing any clothes girl who wasn't any older than a freshman in college. "Yeah, that one." She tried and failed to keep the fire, possessiveness, ownership from her voice. She did not own Cade, but she was suddenly second-guessing what she was about to do--for no other reason than it sent Kimmy to him. "I want to buy him a drink."

"What the fuck?"

Joy ignored Steve. "Whatever he's drinking. Whisky or bourbon. He likes Bulleit, I think." She fished in her clutch for a ten.

Kimmy smiled. "Okay, cool. I can't serve him, but I'll let him and the bartender know."

Yep. Nailed it. Kimmy wasn't even twenty-one. Joy wasn't certain if that was better or worse. It seemed strange that Cade was in here. He didn't strike Joy as the drooling-on-boobs type.

Steve, on the other hand.

Kimmy plucked the ten from Joy's fingers and shot Steve a victory gloat. Joy knew, knew, that Kimmy was rooting for Joy and she suddenly felt bad for the jealousy she'd leveled at the woman. The bubbles of Kimmy's ass might've been bared by her too-short shorts, but they proclaimed no shame. Rather, they screamed, "Can't touch this," as she flounced away. Joy nearly snorted her beer and had to cover her mouth with a hand.

"Fuck, Joy, that was uncalled for. What a bitch move. You're eating with me."

Joy reeled back as though slapped. "Uh--I--I don't like that, Steve." She touched a cheek that felt like it might blister with the heat that flooded her face.

"What?" Steve cocked an eyebrow. "I'm not saying you are a bitch. I'm sayin' you're acting bitchy. Just calling like I see it."

"Do you hear yourself?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" He honestly sounded perplexed.

"You're calling me a bitch. Again. It's not nice."

"No. I'm saying you're being bitchy. It's different."

"No--" Joy paused for emphasis, but her pitch still warbled."--it's not."

"Fine. Whatever. I won't do it again."

"Thank you." Nausea brewed in her stomach. Joy pushed her cheesesteak aside. How was it that she'd won the battle but lost the war?

"Steve--" Joy's phone pinged, distracting her. It was from a number she didn't recognize. Relieved to receive a breather, Joy opened the chat.

"Joy Hauk. Room 111. The appraiser has reviewed your claim. If you want to speak with him, you need to come to the lobby of the Igloo Inn tonight before 10 p. m. Otherwise, you'll receive a check for the appraised sum mailed to the address listed on your reservation within sixty days."

Joy checked the time on her phone. It was well past nine. Joy pushed out of the booth.

"I need to go."

"Go where?"

Joy didn't answer. She'd already walked away.

Home

Cade

"Cade, I need your help."

Cade's traitorous heart had rolled over like a puppy panting for attention when Joy'd sent him a drink and now, again, when she strode his way. It flipped another time with her words. She needed him. She needed his help. God, he was so whipped.

"What can I do for you?" Cade was stunned at how normal his words sounded. This woman who'd rejected him, left him for her asshole boss, just like Heather, without giving him a hint as to why, crooked her finger and he already knew he was going to come crawling back. He hated it. He hated himself. He hated that she was doing this to him.

He didn't want to. Cade didn't want to hate Joy, but he was at war with himself, and damn it, it hurt. Honestly, he should've let "I want you," "I need you," or "I love you" come blurting out. There was no way to give her any more leverage than she already had. He'd known Joy for one week and his heart had replaced every rational thought he'd ever had with dryer lint fuzz. Never mind that she was going to use him and then turn her nose up at him like he smelled of rotten limburger cheese.

Joy's face dodged behind the curtain of her hair like it did every time she was nervous. She didn't seem to know what to do with her hands. They kept fluttering about her drool-inspiring waist. The motion drew attention to her--Nope. Not going to go there. But his dick had already hardened.

"The appraiser texted. I need to get over to the inn."

Cade's gaze flicked to Joy's prick-boss still sitting in the booth. A green, miasma vapor blossomed in Cade's chest, the acid cloud chemical burning soul and flesh. "What? Your boss can't help you?" Cade put as much venom in the word boss as he could muster. Hard dick or no, it didn't come close to expressing the disdain he felt. Disdain for Steve. Disdain for Joy. Disdain, most of all, for himself.

"Cade." His name came as a strangled sob from Joy's throat. She blinked rapidly. Cade could see that it was not the first time she'd cried tonight. Not only had he observed the occasional attempt to fix her eyeliner while dining with Steve, but there was a smudge that her nails hadn't quite repaired. The glacial chill freezing his heart cracked.

"I didn't have a choice."

His heart froze solid once more. "There was always a choice!" he wanted to scream but didn't. The chill must've radiated off him because the man on the stool beside him grumbled something about the temperament of the locals, slapped down his tab and abandoned the bar. Cade found words for his liquid oxygen frostbite.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, Joy? You left with him. That was a choice! You didn't warn me. You didn't tell me why. You didn't say goodbye. Those were choices!" He only just managed to keep his timber to a stony growl.

Joy clambered up onto the vacated stool, hunched over the bar on her elbows and plunked her face into the palms of her hands. Cade wanted to kick himself when his angel's face disappeared behind her tresses. He was so conflicted. He didn't want to hurt her. He wanted Joy happy. But he needed, absolutely needed, her to understand his pain. He'd not been lying in the hot tub. He could not do casual. His heart was at stake.

"I tried to talk to you." Her voice was muffled. She was talking to the countertop. "Later. When I understood--" She sniffed. "--when I understood how bad it hurt. How bad I'd hurt you. Everyone told me career, mentor, boss. That's the recipe for success--happiness. He's my boss. I feel--I don't know--beholden? Don't you get that?"

She had tried to talk to him. He'd not responded. That'd been his choice. Next to that, the rest of what she'd said didn't even matter. Damn him! He was better than that! How had this woman turned him into an eight-year-old? He deserved this. He was getting exactly what he asked for. That Joy was trying to come back was the universe ignoring the nasty karma he'd shoved her way.

But the rest of what she'd said did matter. He'd been told, career, woman. In that order. He'd tried. Look where that'd gotten him. He had neither. Holy shit, maybe he could understand her need to obey her boss in all things. Who filled people's heads with this crap? He was silent for too long.

"You told me. I didn't get it. Now I do. I--Cade--" Joy choked. She finally looked up at him. Her face was tear-streaked. "--don't think this is casual. Not for me."

Finally, finally, the ice shattered. His heart bled, but that was almost a relief, and he softened.

"Of course I'll help you."

A flicker of a smile ghosted Joy's lips. "Thank you." It had not been, of course, and Joy's expression said she knew it. She knew how close they'd been to turning their backs on each other and forever looking back.

"N--" Cade remembered just in time. The phrase no problem was a big problem for Joy. He did not want to reignite their fight. His heart already felt like it might never heal from this one. "--You're welcome."

The ghost smile again.

"Just let me grab my tab." Cade pinned a bill under his glass, Joy had already paid more than half of it, and followed Joy from the restaurant. His fingers itched to touch Joy, but there was still pain radiating between them. Twice he forced his hand down after it'd drifted towards the small of her back. They exited the building.

Cade pointed. "I'm that way." Joy changed course towards his 4Runner.

"I didn't expect to see you here." Cade couldn't decipher the odd note in Joy's voice. Disappointment? Jealousy? Disgust?

Probably disgust. Snow Bunnies was every bit of the breastaurant it aimed to be. Joy clearly hadn't been there by choice. Not a good choice, at least. Was he finally getting the whole, she had a boss, thing? Was that a Joy thing? Had it been a Heather thing? Had all young women's heads' been filled with this crap? He'd heard the mentor part before. Athena Rising had mentioned it as part of the culture career-minded women could be subjected to. It had not judged that culture. It had said that for many young women, 'mentor' was the new white knight, but if the formula was mixed wrong, it could blow up in a woman's, and her mentor's, face. That was the whole thing Athena Rising had aimed to prevent.

"I was coming back from dinner. Where we ate that first night? The Elkhorn." Cade scrubbed the back of his neck. "I saw you walk in. I--" What was he supposed to say? I was spying on you? I was going insane not being near you? That sounded a little too close to, I was punishing you but couldn't take the punishment. After her six-billionth please, all he'd had to do was reach out and this pain could've been healed hours earlier. Yeah, that'd go down in flames like the Heisenberg. He didn't want to give her any cause to reignite their fight. He already felt like roasted ass. And other than a sorrowful, "I tried to talk to you," she'd not sent one accusation his way.

"Joy! Hey! Where're you goin'?" Steve barked from behind them. Cade flinched at the unexpected boom.

Joy stiffened. "To take care of my stuff! You know, to claim the insurance on the clothes you won't reimburse me for!" Joy hadn't turned, but Cade caught a glimpse of her face. Her tears, for him, for them, had not yet dried, but now, fury etched it. Her stride turned to a march as she bee-lined for Cade's car.

"With him?"

To Cade, the accusation didn't deign a response. He'd not gotten an explanation when she'd left with him. But the firenado that was Joy had clearly learned her lesson. She pivoted and drilled a finger into the taller man's chest. "He helped me when my car broke down. He helped me when the inn burned down. He's helped me with this startup! How have you helped me, boss?" She said boss like it was the worst of four-letter words. "Ogle my ass? Call me a bitch? Threaten my job?"

He the fuck had done what? Cade's fingers curled into a fist. Steve might've been taller, but Cade was bigger in all other senses of the word. God, he wanted to pound Joy's asshole boss and not just because he, Cade, was a jealous jackass. There were negative-ten-million reasons Joy should feel beholden to this man.

"Don't follow me!" Joy punctuated her words by finger-punching Steve's sternum. Steve fell back a step. Several customers passing in or out of Snow Bunnies had stopped to stare.

"Your stuff's at the condo."

Cade had to give it to Steve, that man had balls. Total dickhead. Zero wisdom. But balls, yes.

The fingers of Joy's free hand fisted in one of Cade's sleeves. She yanked him forward. "I'll be back for it in the morning!" She whirled and marched Cade towards his car.

Cade's heart surged. Oh yeah! And then it sank until it rested in his stomach. This on-again-off-again thing with Joy would destroy him--had already destroyed him. Had they not been on the verge of mutual Heartageddon a minute ago? They climbed into the 4Runner. Cade fired it up.

She glanced at him from the passenger seat. The liquid steel blazing in her eyes cooled. Joy slumped. "I--I'm sorry."

Cade's heart climbed in his throat. It choked him with a stranglehold grip. What was he supposed to say? That he'd been an ass too? Because he had. Been an ass, that was, both when he'd avoided her and by forcing the issue with Steve in the first place. The whole boss thing ate at her in a way he didn't understand. But understanding wasn't always possible; being supportive was.

When Cade didn't respond immediately, Joy began to babble. "I was scared to tell him about us. I've been--"

"Joy."

"--working so hard. So long. I don't know how--"

"Joy," Cade said louder.

"--you feel and I didn't want to make things weird. We've only known each other for a week. How long do we really have?"

"Joy. I'm sorry, too."

"You are?"

"Of course. You reached out. I didn't respond. I didn't tell you I hurt too much." And he still hurt. But making her share his pain would not ease the ache. He'd learned that much in life; he got what he gave. Give hurt, get hurt. It was a lesson he needed to remember at all times. "I could've told you I needed more time."

"You reached out first."

He had. It couldn't be his excuse or little chance would become zero chance. People healed when they were ready. In relationships, in the ones that worked, people did not wait for the other to be ready. They made themselves ready. "Maybe we can remember this and--I don't know--give a little more, a little earlier, the next time we--" He paused. "--don't understand each other."

A smile spasmed Joy's lips. Her fingers reached for Cade, tickled the stubble on his jaw and then feathered over his shoulder. Her aquamarine gaze fogged over. Joy's smile wilted. "I want to go home now."

"Home? Seattle?"

Joy seemed to collapse into herself. "Seattle's not home."

A heavy, dank cloud clogged Cade's throat. Cade searched Joy's face. Joy lifted her gaze to Cade. Empty ache filled the void between them. Joy looked like she was lost.

"I don't have a home. Maybe I never did."

Amped Up

Joy

Salt crunched under their feet as she and Cade made their way across the shadowed parking lot. Joy was glad for her Carhartt coat despite the fact it had the shape of an empty potato chip sack. She stepped closer to Cade. He put his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. A hot, Jacuzzi warmth spread through Joy.

Joy straightened when they entered the Bullwinkle. She traded Cade's hug for his hand. Cade started for the elevators.

Joy dragged her Red Wing steel toes. "I didn't actually eat dinner."

Cade diverted towards Rocky's. Haggling with the Igloo Inn's insurance appraiser had been fruitful but had gone long. She'd negotiated an extra thirty percent before Cade discretely asked if she'd saved any of the receipts from her replacement purchases. Joy had. She'd needed them for her defunct expense report. Actual cost and inflation over the appraiser's tables gained Joy another ten percent. It was after eleven. The restaurant was closed.

"The kitchen will still be open, right?" Joy asked. The Bullwinkle seemed like the kind of place that'd have 24/7 room service.

Cade tugged Joy's hand. "Let's try the bar first." He led Joy towards some dimly heard music. The bar was about what one might expect from a fancy hotel. Barstools, a few tables and muted top forties hits. Cade grabbed a table in a corner. Joy dragged her stool around so that she could keep leaning into him. When the sleepy waitress dropped by, Joy ordered a bar burger, fries and a KBS--they didn't have her new favorite porter. Cade merely grabbed a hit of Bulleit Bourbon and then stole a few of her fries.

With food, Joy's mood lifted. She stirred a blob of ketchup on her plate with a fry. "So you said you became a drive tech because you were tired of all the political BS. How long were you an engineer?"

The mists of time clouded Cade's eyes. He gnawed his lip. Joy's gaze zeroed in on it. Heat splashed her face as a Pop-Rock fizzle tickled her juncture.

"Twenty-one? Twenty-two years? I graduated from school when I was twenty-three. I've only been doing the drive thing for a couple of years. I've been retired for almost a year. But I never really thought of myself as an engineer. Rather, I was someone that did engineering."

"Huh. That's a different way of thinking about it."

"You're a lot more than an engineer, Joy. We have to remember that we're not just our labels."

"I know. People just don't talk that way, though."

"True," Cade said.

"Where'd you go to school?"

"Here. The University of Utah. You?"

"University of Washington. Mechanical Engineering." Joy nibbled her fry. "Did you have a favorite class? Mine was robotics."

"Yeah. I remember that, and no, not really. I remember Statics and Dynamics quite vividly, though."

"Dynamics was tough."

"Eh." Cade shrugged. "I had a harder time with Statics. Once I really got that, Dynamics was a breeze."

Joy arched an eyebrow at Cade. "Statics was easy. Force up equals force down and trigonometry."

"All of engineering is pretty much trigonometry. Except maybe chemical. It's just a matter of how complex that trig is. But I agree. Statics should've been easy. But the professor--well, let's just say that his style of teaching and my style of learnin' weren't compatible."

"That sucks." Joy fished one of the crunchier fries out of the pile on her plate. She'd eat them all, but she preferred them crisp. The steak fry trend was not her friend. "I had a professor who didn't speak English. All he did was write formulas on the board. Grades were not on a curve. Strict percentages."

"I would've flunked."

Despite Cade's admission, Joy chugged a shot of liquid courage. She gifted her bottle a mournful stare when it came down empty. "D-minus."

"I love a woman with brains."

Joy laughed to relieve the pressure vessel in her chest. She slugged Cade's shoulder. "I'm getting another drink." She tipped her empty towards the bar and slid off her stool. "You want one?"

Cade rattled the ice in his glass. There was maybe a finger of bourbon and melt. "I should be fine." Joy could feel his eyes on her all the way to the bar. It was weird how one man's gaze could make her skin crawl and another's warmed her all over.

While the bartender grabbed her drink, Joy popped over to the jukebox and punched up some Morgan Evans. She slipped back on her stool and pressed herself thigh-to-thigh, shoulder-to-shoulder with Cade just as Kiss Somebody played over the speakers.

Cade's whisky-colored eyes turned to raw amber. Joy nibbled her lip. His gaze dropped to her mouth. His tongue wet the rim of his mouth. He shifted. A hand tangled in the hair at the nape of Joy's neck. Cade's fir tree smell surrounded Joy. The fizzle in Joy's core turned molten. Cade drew her forward. Their lips met.

Whisky, cinnamon spice and a taste that could only be Cade exploded upon Joy's tongue. Joy drank Cade in. The bar, the music, everything but Cade evaporated from Joy's consciousness. When the demand for air became an undeniable need, they broke. Foreheads together, they panted, sharing each other's air.

"Cade." His name escaped Joy as a breathy whisper. The pads of her fingers trailed over the rough stubble on his jaw, traced the racehorse pulse in his throat and settled on his heaving pecs. Joy lifted her lashes. Cade's expression fractured.

Joy dove in for another taste. Heat. Want. Desperate pressure welled within. She climbed into Cade's lap. The strained buttons of his fly pressed into the seam of her jeans. Joy moved against him. Tension wound so tight in her core a steel cable would've snapped. Joy banded about Cade--trying to obliterate the denim between them. She. Could. Not. Get. Close. Enough.

Cade spoke against Joy's mouth. "Joy--" It was a strangled sound. "--they're going to ask us to leave."

Joy didn't care. She couldn't care. She deepened their kiss.

"Sir--Ma'am."

Joy broke the J-B weld locking their mouths. She willed her hips still. A shudder broke over Joy's frame. Embarrassment blistered Joy's flesh.

"Your check. Will this be on your room?"

"Y--" A cement mixer slurry sounded from Cade's throat. He coughed to clear it. "Yes. Four-sixty-nine."

Joy disentangled herself and slid back to her seat. The waitress discretely glanced away so Cade could adjust the monster ready to burst his pants, the sight of which released a molten sugar drip in Joy's panties. Cade signed the check, dropped a hefty tip and hurried Joy towards the elevators.

"I don't see what the problem was. We were the only ones there," Joy said.

"I'm pretty sure live porn is discouraged during business hours."

"Oh my God." Joy buried her face in Cade's neck. His arms wrapped around her as they waited for the cab. Joy's sides shook. "That is so lame."

"I don't know, Joy." An alpha growl sounded in Cade's voice. "I was two seconds from ripping your pants off."

At his words, Joy's panties might've combusted. She shoved Cade backward into the elevator. Before the doors had closed, she'd climbed him like he was a stripper pole. When Cade staggered with the motion of the cab, Joy merely wrapped herself about him tighter.

A thought coalesced, concreted and ripped out of Joy as a frazzled groan. "Condom!"

Cade peppered kisses over Joy's bared throat. "I've got some."

Astonishment charged Joy's lungs and burst from her mouth. "You do?"

"I got them when you were in Seattle. I couldn't--" Cade kept kissing her. "--uh--not see us not needin' them."

Explosive joy boiled over in Joy's chest. She attacked Cade's mouth. The elevator dinged. Cade staggered her down the hall while she clung to him like a monkey. He fumbled the key card--almost dropped it. He slapped it in the slot and they tumbled through the doorway. Joy was already popping the buttons on his shirt.

Jackets, shirts, cami bralette left a trail across the floor. Cade threw Joy on the bed. He grabbed her left foot, unstrung her boot--she was still wearing her Red Wings--and tugged it off. Joy lifted her head to watch him.

They're gazes locked. He froze--Joy's right boot half off.

I love you. The thought had come unbidden. Cade finished with her boot and climbed over her. Their lips met, gentle, soft, tentative. When she rocked, their eyes tangled. Joy sank into Cade's whisky warmth. She felt love drunk. Her throat constricted.

I love you. The thought came again. It'd only been a week. Not even that. They'd been fighting for two days. She couldn't love him. Not yet. I love you so much. Frightened--terrified, both of saying it and not saying it, Joy wanted to cry for the feeling she couldn't express.

Cade's lips found hers. Again, soft, gentle, but this time, he probed much deeper. When Joy didn't break apart, Cade pulled her closer. She wound her arms around Cade's neck. Her bare breasts pressed into the volcanic heat suffusing his chest. Cade tangled his hand in her hair. His gentle tug angled their kiss. She melted into him.

Joy lost touch with time. Of where they were. She rocked herself against Cade while they kissed. The taunt, explosive need in her core was replaced by welcome warmth. She was in deep. She loved him so, so much. And when the job was over, she was going to lose him.

Get knocked up. Joy's soul cringed. It was her mom's voice. Keep a part of him. Force him to come to Seattle.

Cade broke their kiss. He levered up on his elbows above Joy. She already missed the contact. "What's wrong?"

Joy's gaze slid away from him. "I want you. It's only been a week. I don't want to force you. It's not right. You shouldn't feel trapped. You're going away." Her voice was wet. She was babbling.

"Joy, I'm right here." Cade's tone was gentle. There was a note of concern.

"But in a week. Two weeks. After startup. I'll go back to Seattle. You'll go back t'--t'--to wherever."

"Joy--" Her name was a sigh upon Cade's breath.

Tears flowed. "I'll take vacation. I haven't taken any this year. They have to give it to me. I'll take next year's too. In January. I can--you can--we can stay here."

"Joy, I'm with you. Right now. Here. I'm not leaving."

"But then--but then--you could--you could come to Seattle. Stay at my place. On the weekends. We could ski Stevens. Or Crystal. Baker. Hood." The tears were flowing faster. "Please. I don't want to trap you."

"Trap me? Joy, I want you too. You're not trapping me. Even if you did, I'd be right where I wanted to be."

"I'll request a transfer. Court d'Alene. That's Idaho. Right? I could be close to you." Her mom would murder her. Joy no longer cared.

Cade's chest expanded like a billows. A heat-laden breath washed over Joy. Summer. Whisky. Spice.

Joy babbled on. "I don't want you to go. I can't let you go. Not yet."

Again, the heated breath. "I'm not going anywhere, Joy. I'm right here. With you. I've got you."

"I--I--" I love you was pressuring Joy's chest--making her frantic. How it had happened so fast shriveled Joy to her very soul, but her fear didn't make it any less true. The tears were flowing freely now.

Cade leaned down and kissed her. She gasped. And pressed into him. His taste on her tongue was like sunlight injected into her veins. His fly pressed into her and a sharp ache blossomed in her clit. Joy clawed Cade's back. She banded herself around him. She molded her body into his--desperate to touch--desperate to be close--desperate to merge with him. When Cade turned her head and kissed a line up the soft side of her jaw, Joy moaned.

"Cade."

Cade nipped Joy's ear.

She shook. Cade moved against her. The spring-tight, coiling need in Joy's clit winched down to an impossible tension. The ache spread inside, to her core, to her breasts, to her heart, to her mind. A needy whine squeezed from her chest.

"Cade."

She didn't want to let go. She couldn't let go. Their clothes were in the way. Her fingers weren't working. Joy couldn't get close enough.

The needy whine again. "Cade."

Cade abandoned Joy's throat to favor her lips. Joy fully opened to him--eagerly sucking, nipping and licking in response to his overtures. She was going insane. Desperate for air, more desperate to be kissed, Joy's arms finally released Cade. He permitted Joy a moment to kiss and nibble his collar before he pushed her down and demanded the right to devour her first.

Joy's skin goose-pimpled as his kisses trailed the swells of her breasts. He cupped them. He stroked her like he was stoking a fire. Cade thumbed her hardened peaks as though he were plucking guitar strings.

Joy arched, hips to shoulder. She moaned. Joy felt Cade smile into the top of her breast. Joy sank back to the mattress. Cade shifted and he kissed lower.

"Cade." Joy half whimpered, half giggled. She squirmed under his lips. He chuckled into her belly. Joy's fingers fisted in his short hair and tried to pull him higher--or push lower. Cade popped open the rodeo buckle she liked to wear on her belt. Her pants and thong were tugged free. Cade kissed and licked and nipped the insides of her thighs until she was delirious. He lowered his lips to her juncture and gave her a gentle suck. Right. There.

Joy arched until only her head and heels touched the bed. She gasped--a sound that bordered on agony. A fleshquake rippled through Joy from toes to nose. She crashed back to the mattress. She tugged furiously at Cade's hair, head, shoulders--anything she could anchor her fingers on.

"Cade," she barked in an agonized sob. She wanted him. She needed him. She had to have Cade in her, although that wouldn't be enough. It'd never be close enough. There was no means for her body to get close enough.

At the sound of her call, Cade scrambled up Joy until their lips aligned. They both tore at his jeans. When they wouldn't peel off, Joy rolled on top and ripped them off. Joy froze.

"Oh--"

The monster she'd freed swelled to its full volume. Cade would've made the Colossus look small.

"--wow. I'm not sure that'll fit."

Cade had the audacity to smirk. "No way to know unless you give him a try."

Joy licked her lips. "Is that so?" Cade's eyes glazed over. She shot him an impish look. "Well, I'll just have to see what I can do?" She took Cade in hand and he jerked. A bead of precum beaded his slit.

Her. Joy. She'd done that to him. A heady warmth pressured Joy's chest and something hot might've dripped from her core. She gave him a long, slow stroke.

"Joy," Cade moaned. "If you don't stop, this is going t' be over right quick."

"Oh yeah?" She licked him from root to tip. Cade nearly bucked her off his knees.

"Joy!"

Joy's half-lidded gaze rose from Cade's pile driver to his eyes. A crooked smile bowed her lips. "Yes?"

"I want to be in you. Come with you."

"You could think about baseball or something," Joy said Stevia sweet.

"I don't watch baseball." The words were a growl. Cade's brow was furrowed and there was a sheen of sweat on his brow.

"Recite NFPA-70. Table 3-1. Maybe one of the old years, like, say, 2015."

Something hitched in Cade's chest and he coughed out a chuckle. His shaft throbbed in Joy's hands, but the heartbeat pulse wrapped in her fingers seemed to ease a bit.

"'Kay. Yeah. That might work. But, Joy, you're going t' give me a heart attack."

"Yeah?" Joy ran her body up his length. When their mouths aligned, she lip locked. Her core slicked him with her need. She ground against him. He twitched. His shaft drummed against her clit. Joy's eyelids fluttered. Pleasure pulsed. She nearly lost it.

Joy broke their kiss, panting. "Okay." She climbed over Cade, her boobs in his face. She grabbed at the box of Trojans on the nightstand.

Her haste made her clumsy. The box overturned.

"Urgh," Joy growled. She scrambled for the treasure spilled on the floor. Her fingers trembled as she tore at the foil packet. She made the mistake of looking into his eyes. Open, unadorned need nearly unhinged Joy and she knew then that his thrusts would wreck her. Not once. Or twice. But every time.

"Joy." Cade's voice was so strained it sounded like he might've ruptured something. "Hurry!" His hips thrust when her fingers coiled his base to steady him. He was already slick with her lube from her grinding.

Joy rolled the condom over the head of his shaft, caught his gaze, bit her lip and shot Cade what she hoped was a seductive smile. His eyes filled with heat to match that in her core. She bent over and set her lips on the unrolled edge of the condom. She bobbed her head and rolled the condom onto him with her lips.

"Joy!" Her name came out as nearly a shout. Cade's fingers tangled in her. He pulled, almost painfully. His muscles corded tighter than a steel suspender.

"Joy. I'm going to come!"

No.

She let go of him with her mouth. "Not yet." She clambered up his body to share their taste with him. Lips still welded, Joy fit herself to him and sank down.

Width. Girth. Burning stretch. He was a piston compressing her want, need, ache. Pressure and heat coiled into an explosive combo. When Cade bottomed out, he nudged Joy in her deepest place. Joy rested a moment, adjusting, when he was all the way in. She moved an inch up. Down.

"Not yet!" Cade growled. His fingers bit into Joy's hips, pinning her to him.

"Size 14, THHN--" Joy paused. She was having trouble speaking. "--how many amps?"

A strain gage chuckle ripped from Cade's throat. His shaft drummed in Joy's core. Her petals clutched--hard.

Cade's eyes rolled up. He stiffened, but he brought himself back from the edge. Grabbing Joy he threw her on her back. Shocked, Joy gasped, clenched and bore down on the shaft stretching her. Cade shuddered, stilled and began a slow cycle of thrust, pump, and pull while Joy clamped, trying to keep him inside of her. The spring in Joy's core wound up tighter, tighter and tighter. Her fingers helplessly wandered the bedsheet, seeking anchor. Pleasure stronger than any tide swept her away. Cade surfed Joy to the edge, the very apex of the wave, but it wouldn't break.

Cade's gaze twined with Joy's. Joy's breath hitched. An unspoken I love you poured from her eyes to his. She babbled. When Cade's pupils dilated--when he shuddered--when she joined him--Joy gave voice to her love with the only sound that remained in her vocabulary. She screamed his name on rewind repeat.

Give a Girl Her Insecurities

Cade

Joy shivered under Cade. He buried himself as deep as he could go. She banded so tight around his shaft that Cade saw spots. Cade grunted and pushed harder. Joy grasped for an anchor in the bedsheets. Her eyes rolled back. She screamed.

On her utterance, Cade's arms quaked. Sweat tracked a trail down his back. A searing pulse of pleasure pushed through Cade to burst within Joy. His body would not stop pumping even after he'd surely been emptied.

"Joy." Her name was a guttural groan. His arms gave out. Not wanting to crush her, he pushed the mass of his torso to the side. Joy rolled atop of him. Her body--her heat--was more welcome than any blanket.

"You're heart's beating like a racehorse." Joy's smile turned shy. "I can feel it."

A rapid flutter vibrated against Cade's chest in time with his own heartbeat. "Yours too."

Joy nuzzled against his chest. The scent of her mahogany tresses--lavender--surrounded Cade. A pleased note rumbled in his chest.

"What're you thinking?" Joy asked.

"That I like this."

Happiness radiated from Joy--resonating between them. "I like this too." Warm breath flowed over Cade's collar. Soft lips touched the side of his neck. "I like being naked with you. I like sex with you."

"Yeah. Me too." He was so eloquent. He liked so much more than sex with her. "With you."

"I like you." There was a tremor in Joy's voice. "I like you--" A quaking breath exited Joy's perfect, kiss-me lips. "--a lot."

Cade's heart swelled in his chest until he thought it might burst. "I like you too, Joy." Cade's words were careful. Like didn't begin to cover what Cade was feeling. Joy's aquamarine eyes searched his. The urge to hide was strong. Cade was so gone for this woman. She had scrubbed Heather clean from his soul.

Joy slipped to his side. Still wrapped halfway around him, she rested her head upon his shoulder. She traced a finger through the hair on his chest. "So, was this the first time since..." Joy trailed off.

An unhappy note thrummed within Cade. "That obvious--huh?"

"No." Joy shifted. She pressed herself tight to his side. "What you did to me takes practice. Give a girl her insecurities, would you?"

Cade snorted. It was a self-conscious sound. "You and Heather--you're the only ones. The only ones ever--" and Heather doesn't measure up. Cade tried to say the rest, but his throat closed off. The sentiment was too close to the more vulnerable one pressuring his chest. If he said it, Joy would see straight through him.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Me and James--er--my fiancé--my ex-fiancé--" Joy said ex with that kind of vehemence reserved for spiders, snakes and rats. "--he was my last."

Something nasty, like sewage, stewed in Cade's gut. A thunder god growl issued from his chest. "How long ago was that?"

Joy's head snapped off Cade's shoulder. Her sharp gaze searched his. After a moment, a smile toyed with Joy's lips and she put her head back down. Her finger resumed its exploration. "Three--almost four--years ago. I was twenty-nine."

Joy'd said her last, not her only. Fluorine acid poisoned Cade's blood. He wasn't being rational or fair, but no man's fingers belonged on Joy but his. He forced the venom from his voice. "I thought all women were twenty-nine."

A pixie giggle sounded at Cade's shoulder. Drops of liquid sunshine burnt away the poison in Cade's soul. "Twenty-nine? Twenty-nine! You're insulting twenty-seven-year-old me."

Cade couldn't help the grin that tickled his face. "Twenty-seven? Anything special that I should know?"

Pride reverberated in Joy's chest. "That's the year I got my PE."

Warmth swelled Cade's heart. That was not a small accomplishment. "I can see why that'd be a big year."

"What about you? What's your big year?"

"Forty-eight."

Joy shifted. Her breasts were hot against Cade's side and he couldn't help but notice them. "Is that the year you retired?"

It hadn't been. He'd retired at the tail end of forty-seven, but how was he supposed to tell Joy that the best thing that'd ever happened to him was lying right beside him when she was going to go away?

"Yeah."

Backbone

Joy

As quietly as she could, Joy relocked the door. She gathered her bags off the porch of Steve's condo and carefully picked her way across the icy walk to Cade's 4Runner. Without headlights or porchlights, it was pitch black. Her gear piled in the trunk, Joy released a sigh she hadn't realized she was holding when Cade backed them out of the drive.

Joy checked her phone. "Some diner named Grizzlies opens at five." It was half past four.

"We could go back to the Bullwinkle. Shower." There was a slight pause when Cade said the word shower. Just being in Cade's presence heated Joy's core. She clenched when she heard the fire in Cade's voice.

"Let's do that after breakfast." Joy had a feeling it might be wise to get some water in her with the way they'd gone at it the night before.

"So what do you want to do until breakfast?"

"I don't know. We could park."

Cade lifted an eyebrow at Joy.

"And talk. And talk."

Cade's chuckle was warm. She'd made him laugh. Pride fireworked in Joy's chest. Cade pulled the 4Runner into Grizzlies' dark lot. Servers could be seen through the plate glass getting the diner ready to open. Cade put the vehicle in park but didn't cut the engine. "So what do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know. We haven't done any dating questions yet. I hardly know you."

"Yet, you slept with me."

A hot tide climbed Joy's neck. "So." She forced herself to hold Cade's gaze. "When you know, you know."

"Dating questions, huh?" Cade turned in his seat such that he was facing Joy as much as possible. She mirrored his position so that their knees bumped in front of the center console. "Okay, I'll bite. What's your favorite color?"

"Pink--er--yellow." Joy paused. "Red," she blurted. "Sometimes blue. Depends on my mood." Joy sighed. "All of them?"

Cade's lips twitched.

"Bright ones. What about you?"

"What about me, what?" There was a slight lilt to Cade's voice as though he were teasing her.

"What's your favorite color?"

"Aquamarine."

"That's--" Unexpected. "--oddly specific. Why not just--" Joy paused. "--just blue?"

"Your eyes aren't just blue."

Joy's heart expanded so large her chest hurt. "Oh." The word was breathed out on an exhale. Something hot slipped down low into her core. Any hotter and her panties would combust--if they didn't finish melting first. "Oh."

A dozen heartbeats cycled. Cade prodded the inside of his cheek with his tongue. "Your belt buckle. Style or..." Cade didn't finish his thought.

Joy looked down at her cowgirl buckle. "This one? I won it at a fair."

"Really?" There was a strong note of interest in Cade's voice. "For what?"

"Barrel racing. I was fifteen? Seventeen? No sixteen. You remember me telling you about my Aunt Isabell?"

"Yeah."

"When I was a teen, she was really big in the local rodeo circuit. One summer, her horse, Macho, was entered in the Puyallup Fair. She already had all the points and things--as far as that goes. She was favored to win State."

"What happened?"

"Macho stepped on her foot. Broke all her bones--er--metatarsals--I think. She couldn't walk. At all. She couldn't ride, not like she needed to. I--" Joy paused. She fingered her buckle. "--rode in her place. Won this."

"That's so cool."

"I know, right?" Joy's voice rose in a crescendo. Cade liked this side of her. She liked this side of her. "I'd always wanted to ride in a rodeo. And the Puyallup Fair!"

"I wanted to ride. Barrel race. Pole race. Keyhole race."

"You did? Why didn't you?"

"I did until I was sixteen."

"Why'd you stop?"

Cade pointed to himself. "Boy."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know how it is in Washington or nowadays, but in Utah, when I was a kid, those things were girls' sports. I wasn't permitted to compete."

"Oh." Joy'd never considered that. She'd known there were few--like no--boys when she'd raced but had assumed it was because they'd had other interests. "But there's other sports?"

"Sure. I did a little mustang wrangling in Stone once or twice, but I wasn't much of a roper. And honestly, I wasn't big on being thrown from a horse. I like my skull in one piece. It just wasn't the kind of horsemanship I was into."

"But you have horses now."

"I'm getting' horses. Yeah. Two foals. It'll be three years before I can ride them."

"I haven't ridden in a long time," Joy said, her voice wistful.

"Do you want to?"

"Yeah. Sure. Kinda. Well, more than kinda. But I live in a city. Grandma and Grandpa sold the horses when Isabell went to college."

"I meant kind of like on a date."

"Now?" Joy barely kept control of her voice. It tried to come out as an excited squeal. Joy glanced out the windows, but they'd fogged. "There's like six feet of snow."

"Well, not now. But as soon as we can. There's not nearly as much snow in the valley. The west side of Antelope Island often clears, even in the winter. It'll be cold, but we can ride out to Mormon Rock and back. Maybe take a lunch. It's about fourteen miles round trip. There are more than a few stables that'll rent horses and even haul them to White Rock Bay. All you have to do is give me a day you can go and I'll arrange it. I miss riding too."

"Wow. I want to go."

"Just say when."

Joy did a quick calculation. "I--uh..."

"Yeah?"

"I actually have a mandatory day off tomorrow."

Cade tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. It took him a moment to answer. "Okay. Short notice but I think I can swing it."

***

Joy dumped the fourth of those little diner coffee creamer cups in her coffee, took a sip and upended another package of sugar into her mocha-colored drink. She and Cade were pressed together, shoulder to shoulder, in the diner's booth. Joy still felt flushed--energized--tingly--from their make-out session. For a moment, she thought they were going to go all Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio, but cars weren't ideal for tall people. Joy had still slapped her hand against a fogged window when she'd clamped and shuddered around the fingers teased into her Finetoo. Cade had added his own soundtrack when he'd shot all over her hand.

Joy leaned her head upon Cade's shoulder. "I'll tell Steve about tomorrow and put in for vacation later today."

"Vacation?"

"I thought I could--with you--you know--after the startup."

Joy felt Cade's jaw flex. She looked up at him from where her head rested upon his shoulder. A shallow grin creased Cade's face. "I'd like that."

A soft smile bowed Joy's lips. "You actually understood that?"

"I'm pretty sure you said you wanted to stick around after the startup and hook up with me."

Joy's smile grew brighter. "Yup."

"And I said, 'I'd like that.'"

"Fab." Joy nuzzled against Cade's shoulder. "I'll take off until the end of the year. Or longer if I can. You're staying that long, aren't you?"

"I'm staying as long as you're here, Joy. A day with you is a day in heaven. I'd be a fool to turn down visitations from an angel."

"You're so..." cheesy--dorky-- A warm glow filled Joy's chest. She melted into Cade's shoulder. --romantic.

"So what, Joy?" Cade said.

"So full of it."

Cade vibrated with a silent chuckle. "I want to be where you are, Joy." There was the barest hint of stiffness in Cade's voice. Was there something more? Would Cade follow her to Seattle? Was that wishful thinking? What if she asked? Did she want to ask? The thought of not seeing him hurt. But it was a lot to ask. Especially with his horses. Or maybe he just meant he wanted to be with her when it was easy. When she was jumping through the hoops. That was probably it. Ignoring the icy nibble at her heart, Joy said, "I'll take vacation."

Cade kissed the crown of her head. Joy sighed as warmth washed through her. She could've stayed just like that--warm, cozy, with Cade, no worry about the future--forever. Joy's lashes fluttered and she felt her head dip towards sleep when Cade's lips pressed into her hair a second time.

"Hello, Cade," a soft, melodious voice said. Cade stiffened, making Joy jerk upright--her dreams of eternal peace shattered.

"Howdy." If the woman's voice had been hesitant, Cade's response was entirely unenthusiastic.

The woman herself was standing at the end of their table. She was beautiful, with the body of a yoga instructor. Her flat ironed, shoulder-length brunette hair--with a hint of red--glowed like polished cherry. Her fleece shirt hugged her form and the neon pink ski pants might've been something Joy would've worn. Joy's beige ARC-rated button-down and blue jeans made her feel frumpy. And top heavy. And bottom heavy. God, with the way her clothes hugged her, the woman probably had the cellulite of an eighteen-year-old athlete. The woman's eyes were forest green.

"Are you going to introduce me to your friend?" The woman spoke like Cade. Fast. Clipped. Western. There was an air of familiarity but also--discomfort?

Cade heaved a resigned sigh. Tension radiated off him. "Joy--my ex-wife--Heather."

A static jolt sizzle arced through Joy, scorching nerves in its wake. An uneasy, acidic energy filled Joy's chest. She clenched her coffee cup. She flexed her fingers. She had a sudden itch for claws. She kept her nails filed because of the work she did.

"Heather--" Cade paused. He and Joy were still shoulder to shoulder, so she felt the heavy breath he cycled. He seemed to be gathering himself. Something unhappy welled up within Joy. "--my girlfriend--"

Girlfriend! The word pinballed through Joy, lighting her up like the high noon sun. Light burned away every hint of darkness. The woman--the ex-wife--Heather--definitely noticed. A small frown bowed her lips. The sulfur burn in Joy's chest eased.

"--Joy."

"Nice to meet you--" A pause. "--Joy." Heather didn't offer her hand. Perhaps it would've been too awkward reaching across Cade.

What did you say to your man's ex-wife? An ex-wife who was still the competition? Even if said competition was only in the man's head? Cade put his hand on Joy's thigh--but to comfort Joy or himself, Joy wasn't certain.

"Hi." Joy moved a hand under the table to grasp his. Their fingers twined.

"It's good--" Heather was talking to Cade. Only to Cade. "--to see you're moving on." Joy wasn't certain that Heather's voice wasn't saying something other than her words. "I thought you retired." Her gaze skipped over Joy--taking in her beige ARC button-down. "Are you working again?"

Joy felt Cade tremble. She guessed right. He'd been seeking refuge in her. She needed to be the strong one here. Joy's grip on Cade's hand tightened.

"A little. As a favor to Jasper."

Heather laughed. It had a musical quality, but there was a strained note to it. "Jasper will never stop askin' for favors. You know that."

The hint of a smile softened Cade's jaw. "That's why I don't answer the phone anymore. Usually. But actually it was a favor to Casey. Debbi's sick. COVID."

"She is?" Shock and concern etched Heather's face. "Is she going t' be all right?"

"I don't know," Cade said to Heather.

"I need to call her."

Joy shifted uncomfortably. She didn't know any of these people in Cade's life. Clearly, Heather did. She and Cade had history. Joy and Cade had little more than a week--only a night of which had been in bed together. Joy tried to untangle her fingers from Cade's. A burning, chemical cloud had taken up residence in her chest once more. She needed to excuse herself. Cade gripped her hand harder. He turned his face towards her.

"You okay?" Cade's words were soft, but there was little chance Heather didn't hear them. His concern was all for Joy.

Joy bit her lip. She gifted Cade a small nod and squeezed his hand. "I--yeah. I will be."

Cade returned her squeeze, gifted Joy a small smile and turned his gaze back towards his ex-wife. "Can I do something for you, Heather?" There was an edge to his voice when he said his ex-wife's name. It was so slight that had Joy not been so attuned to Cade, Joy would've missed it.

A shadow passed over Heather's face. Her eyes flicked to the side and back. A short, stocky and muscled man stepped up behind her. He was similarly dressed for snow sports--except his outfit was in black. When he reached them, he placed a possessive hand on the small of Heather's back. He was no more than a finger shorter than Heather and Joy almost missed it, but Heather--shrank. She did not swat him away. She did not step aside. She did not say anything. She merely wilted until she was shorter than the man behind her. An alarm claxon went off in Joy's soul.

"Derik." There was poison in Cade's greeting. It sounded like Cade might've wanted to force-feed Derik his fist--or enriched uranium.

"Cade." Derik's gaze slid over Joy. He did not stare. His eyes did not hang. But Joy would've happily endured Steve ogling her naked than spend one more second under this man's regard. It made her feel as though she'd bathed in crude oil. "Come on, babe, we got things to do."

Heather nodded. "Anyways--" Heather let herself be nudged in the direction of the door. "--I saw you here and just wanted to come over and say hi."

"Uh-huh," Cade said, not taking his stare off Derik. There was an aggressive, charged energy crackling between the two men. Who was this man? Was Cade jealous Derik had Heather? Given that Cade had just reassured her that she took priority over his ex-wife, Joy didn't think so.

"Nice to meet you, Joy." Heather had let herself be pushed another step towards the door, but she was clearly dragging her feet.

"You too," Joy chirped with false cheer. Heather and Derik finally left. God, Joy hoped she never saw the man or woman again. There was a reason old flames were taboo. Joy pulled her hand from Cade's and scooched away an inch.

Cade frowned at Joy. "You alright?"

"Yeah." Even Joy thought she sounded like she was sulking.

"Joy--" Cade paused as if pondering his words. "--two weeks ago, all I thought about was how hurt I was that Heather left me--for that man. I was fired after I confronted her for blowing him under his desk. I might've been just as hung up if it had happened any other way, I can't know, but that, it locked my hurt in my brain. For a week now--ever since the very first moment I saw you in the airport, even before I'd really met you, before I'd learned your name--all I've thought about is you, every second, every minute, of every day."

There was a lot to unpack in that statement, starting with "two weeks ago."

Joy shifted uncomfortably. "Cade, you've known her forever." Cade had been married to Heather for more than half of Joy's life. They met when she was in grade school. They might've been getting white dress jitters before she'd been getting first date jitters. And while Joy might've won the younger woman contest, she clearly came in second in the hot bod contest. Cade may have been thinking of Joy every second of every day, but that was because he no longer had option number one. No man would stack Joy up to that. God, her hair was a rat's nest next to Heather's.

And no woman would want Derik over Cade. Joy did not know what had gone wrong, but Heather, here now, was Heather realizing her error. Whether Cade realized it or not, Heather's claws were still in him and Joy would not be able to hold on. Heather had what, two decades of leverage? Joy had two weeks, tops.

Cade's expression looked worried. "Joy..." He obviously didn't know what to say.

Joy gathered herself. This was going to hurt. But better now than before her heart was, like, a total goner--if it wasn't already. "You've not been apart that long. She wants you back, Cade. I--I'll step out of the way."

"No, she doesn't."

Ouch. Exact wrong words. That hurt, like, a lot. Cade's tone had been confident, gentle, reassuring, but if he'd been trying to tell Joy that she was the one for him--he'd not just missed the target but fired in the opposite direction--a bullet straight at her heart.

"Even if she does, I don't. Not since you."

Hope swelled--and then died. If he'd applied a razor blade to her heart, he couldn't have lacerated her any better. She bled joy and pain in equal measures. Joy could not get past, you've shared more with her, you've loved more with her, she's hotter than me. If Heather was coming back for Cade, Joy'd never keep him. If Heather didn't come back for Cade, Joy'd always wonder. That, that, Joy realized, was the real problem. James had gone back to Jaqueline.

Cade tried to put his arm about her and pull Joy close. She shrugged it off, not rudely, but then scooched right up to the wall in their booth. It was a good thing that Cade unintentionally had blocked her exit because her impulse was to run--another post-James legacy. She'd run last time. She didn't want to run this time. She wanted, needed, to know if "even if she does, I don't" was real. Joy had to give herself, she had to give Cade, that chance. Except why? They only had another week--a little more, if she could get the time off. Fudgenuggets, where was she going with this?

"Joy--" Cade paused. "--I get that that was hard for you." A heartbeat pulsed. "In a way I might never understand. Please believe me. Given the choice between you and Heather or any other woman in the world, I pick you. And I'd pick you again and again and again and still again, every time, forever."

Joy nodded slowly. She slid towards Cade, he draped his arm about her and she leaned into his shoulder. Her heart hurt. But whether it was going to explode or implode, she wasn't sure. Could it do both? They only had to survive a few more weeks--she could pretend Heather didn't exist for that long--then life, for Joy, would be over anyway. After they parted, life without Cade wouldn't be life at all.

***

Joy guzzled another bottle of water. It was the third that morning. Upon returning to their room, they'd gone at it like snow bunnies before, during and after their shower. She wasn't sure what Cade was trying to prove, but she'd been staking her claim--for as long as it lasted. The moments of no rational thought had been a welcome bonus. Joy wanted to be excited about the prospect of going riding tomorrow, but if truth be told, her heart was still bruised--not to mention, she was already saddle sore.

Not in a bad way, just--aware. Joy shimmied in her seat. Perhaps a little too aware.

Joy tapped out another line of code. The program was getting close--almost complete. There was a chance by the time she broke off for the night that even the human-machine interfaces would be fully functional. All the operator's screens--normal and emergency--were complete. Maintenance and diagnostics were only slightly lagging behind the same functions in the programmable logic controller. The electricians were close enough that when she and Cade returned from their horseback riding date, the chairlift would be ready for the final rounds of pre-startup testing.

A dense fog settled in Joy's chest. If she couldn't convince Steve to give her vacation, Joy's days with Cade were dwindling rapidly--Heather probably wouldn't even enter the equation. Cade had already reached a place where he was just waiting. He stopped in every few runs, but Joy and the electricians had run him off because there was no reason for him to be in the way--especially when there was skiing to be done. Soon, there'd be nothing but skiing to hold either one of them in Quaking. Their time, never long, was almost over--unless she could take the time off. Everything hinged upon that. That and holding Heather off just a little longer.

Outside the full-wall picture windows of the control room, Steve skied up. It was the first day he'd done so. As he clicked out of a pair of K2s, Joy glanced at the clock. It was after ten--nearly twenty to eleven.

"When's startup?" Steve clomped into the room without bothering with the snow caked on his boots. Ice sluffed off onto the floor the electricians had been taking pains to keep relatively clean. "We're three days late. You better tell me we're nearly done with this thing an' there better be no more bitchin' excuses about idiotic safety functions. It's a chairlift!"

Nerve cauterizing heat seared through Joy. The chairlift needed safeties. She was not bitching. Joy swallowed her fury. She'd sent in her vacation request that morning. Pointing out Steve's bigoted behavior right now would not do her any favors. She was sure she'd already lost her bonus, probably her raise and maybe her job. She was not going to give up her paid vacation. Not if it meant more time before she had to decide what to do about her heart attacker man.

"Maybe Friday. If the electricians are ready."

"What the fuck, Joy! Friday? And what's this?" Steve waved his phone at her. "Vacation!"

Fudgenuggets, they were doing this now. Joy steeled herself. "I haven't had more than a weekend off in two years, Steve."

"It's fuckin' Christmas, Joy! Carl, Kirti and Loyd all asked for it off. What are you thinking? I can't let the whole team go."

"Carl and Loyd took time off in the summer. Kirti took four weeks this fall. That's why you sent me to Marina, remember? I've not had a vacation since I was hired on--two years ago."

"Is this about that dickwad? You're bangin' him, aren't you?"

Joy rested her eyes, dragged in a grounding breath and locked her gaze on Steve. "His name is Cade, Steve. And so what if I am? It's my life. My business!"

"This looks really fuckin' bad, Joy. You need to think about your image. MMI's image. Think about your fuckin' career."

"My career? What's this got to do with my career? Are you firing me? Because I can stop working right now!"

Steve's visage flashed with panic. "No--but shit--Joy, what are you thinking? You're on a job."

"Are you telling me who I can and cannot hook up with?"

"Of course not."

"It sure sounds like it."

"Fuck, Joy. I'm just tryin' to look out for you--for MMI. That's my job."

"Are you going to give me my vacation?"

"You're on a startup."

"My request was for the two weeks following startup."

"Which, at this rate, will roll you right into Christmas. I already told you Carl, Kirti and Loyd requested Christmas off. They're senior."

"And they've used their seniority. It's my turn."

"Joy--fuck! Why are you being such a bitch?"

Joy leaped out of her folding chair. She marched a stride towards Steve. "Because I'm exhausted, Steve!" Joy slammed a fist to her chest. "I've been on nine startups this year. Nine! Kirti's not been on one. I've spent one day at home in the past month. I spent Thanksgiving in a hotel room. From mid-June through September, I spent a grand total of one week in the office. I'm never engineering. I'm always scrambling. I've got a PE, Steve. A PE! Every other PE at MMI is engineering! Not cycling through endless startups on other people's jobs. I'm taking that time off. If MMI wants me back next year, you'd better pay me!"

Steve fell back a step. Joy panted--the bonfire inferno in her chest banked but did not go out. Steve steadied his stance and growled. "What am I supposed to tell the others?"

Joy threw up her hands and slammed her ass back down upon her chair. The flimsy thing nearly folded. "I don't care, Steve!"

Silence fell. Joy stared at her laptop, willing her anger not to dissolve into tears. Forcing her voice steady, Joy ground out, "Did you read the HR update last week?"

The rasp of fabric on fabric sounded behind Joy as Steve shifted in apparent discomfort. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"My fourteenth day is tomorrow."

"So?"

"The fourteenth day is a mandatory day off."

Steve breathed out a dragon's sigh. "You're on a startup, Joy."

"I'm pretty sure mandatory and regardless of circumstances trumps startup."

"Shit, Joy. You didn't get here until last Wednesday. It's only been a week."

"I worked Friday, Saturday, and Sunday in Marina. Monday and Tuesday in Bothell and traveled. I violated every sane workday concept last Thursday and Friday traveling to and from Seattle. Tomorrow is my mandatory day off."

"And what are you going to do with it?"

"I don't know, Steve. I'm at a ski resort. Go on a date. Do something fun for once." Get saddle sore. "How's that your business, anyway?"

Steve's ski boots stomped from the room. The door slammed in his wake. Joy's stare followed him outside. When he ripped his K2s from the snowbank, Cade's green DPSs were beside Joy's Rossignol rentals. Joy's gaze ripped to the drive room door. Nobody was in the small square window watching her.

Seattle Cowgirl

Joy

It took ten seconds for Joy's body to remember how to ride. How to post. The boneless western slouch. It took ten minutes for her to remember the new jeans, cold weather, saddle-sore burn on the inside of her thighs. It took thirty for Joy to remember that distinctive bow-legged ache. None of that could put a dent in her high spirits.

Cade had astonished Joy that morning by letting her sleep in. They'd arrived at the desert island a little after lunch. The island was essentially a small mountain on the eastern side of the Great Salt Lake and reached it via a lengthy causeway. On the way, they'd stopped at a grocer for picnic food--and apples for the horses--and a liquor store for wine. Cade had surprised Joy with a stop at a western store to buy boots. Her ankle boots would've worked--sorta. She'd teased him with some gaudy pink Lishan until her gaze had landed on a pair of Corral that she just had to have. They were more appropriate for a honky-tonk dance floor than riding, but--Oh. My. God!

Cade hadn't even batted an eye at the price tag that'd compelled Joy to put them back. He'd simply grabbed a pair in her size when she wasn't looking and slipped them into her try-on pile. Joy might've teared up--just a little--when she slipped them on. She'd put them back--again--and pretended not to see Cade swap them out for the more practical, less expensive boots she'd settled on. He'd asked her out. His date. His rules. Cade would not let her pay--not even half. If Joy wanted to pay next time, she needed to do the date planning. The cashier--darn her--not really--but, yeah--agreed.

Joy glanced down at her toes, where they poked through the stirrups. A zing of pleasure sparkled up her spine and erupted in her breast. She bit her lip to hold in the squeal.

"What're y' thinkin'?"

"Cade--" Joy met his gaze. She drank in his whisky-brown eyes and his joy--pure joy--to be with her. She wiggled the toe of her boot at him. "--thank you. I love them." Her attention wandered to the scenery. Bluebird sky, deep blue lake with white-robed mountains on every side. "I love this." I love you. "The ride. The scenery. It's hard to imagine there's a whole city just five miles that-a-way and we can't even see it."

Cade said, "I like the quiet."

"Quiet?" Joy knew what he meant, but the two F-35s that had rocketed by a few minutes earlier had been anything but quiet. Joy hadn't known they were F-35s, but Cade had explained there was an air force base a bit east of the island and a bombing range west of the lake.

"Well, most times. When the jets aren't overhead." He reigned in his bay, letting Joy's black and white overo take the lead down the short decline. At the base of the rocky bump, Joy made way for Cade to come back alongside.

"The jets don't spook the--" Joy waved vaguely at the black lumps that were too distant to make out. The route of the trail looked as though it might take them closer. She'd, appropriately enough, already seen a buck antelope. It was Antelope Island after all. "--animals."

"I'm sure they're used to it. Sometimes the deer or antelope will scatter, but I've yet to see a bison be in a hurry to be anywhere. They say there were bighorn out here when I was a kid, but I've never seen one."

"So those are bison?"

"Up on One Tree Hill? Yeah."

It was not a hill. It was a slope climbing the shoulder of the mountain that was the centerpiece of the island. But, yep, it had exactly that: one tree. "One Tree Hill. Is that like an official name? Are all the names so descriptive? What happens when the tree dies?"

"No. I don't think its official. Not like White Rock Bay." Which incidentally had a large white rock sitting in what looked like three inches of water. Joy wondered if it was salt, encrusted with salt, or actually a big, snow-white rock. "But I've never heard it called anything else. I received my first kiss in that tree."

"Ooh. A kissing tree. Tell me more."

Cade's face turned ruddy. "I hadn't meant to say that. There's not much to tell."

"Cade."

He chuckled at himself. "It was a day like today--but hot. There're so many bugs out here it's not fun to visit when the weather is actually comfortable." There was a slight rattle behind them and they both looked over their shoulders. Two mountain bikes dropped off the rise they'd just ridden down.

"Let's get off the trail so the horses don't spook."

Joy nudged her overo gelding to the right. "They seem pretty placid."

"Yeah, they are. Otherwise Bill probably would've insisted on riding with us. If his granddad and my dad weren't friends, I suspect he'd have been riding chaperone anyway. But bikes can be pretty quiet and bikers often don't seem to understand that. I've heard more than one story of a surprised horse busting up a mountain bike when the biker hadn't yielded the proper right-of-way."

Cade's bay sidestepped, crowding Joy and gave a sharp nod in agreement as the two bikes sped past. For a time, they plodded along in silence.

"So," Joy said, "first kiss?"

Cade gave Joy a look that said he'd been hoping she'd drop it. No. No. Nope. Not going to happen.

"Her name was Trisha Fisher. Lawson now, I believe. She was literally the girl next door. Trisha's dad had barrels set up for Trish and her sisters and I raced with them."

"Was Trisha the oldest?"

"No. Youngest. I crushed pretty hard on Tonya, the middle one. At fourteen, a year and some change makes a difference."

"Did all the girls have tee names?"

"Yup. Tracy, Tonya, Trisha."

"So if you were crushing on Tonya, how'd you end up kissing Trisha?"

"Uh--" Cade's visage sparkled and a wry grin etched his face. "--she pulled my head out of my ass? Showed me the charms of a younger woman?"

Joy couldn't help the laugh that escaped her. A smile scrawled its way over her cheeks. "How'd she do that?"

"She kissed me. I was a goner. We dated until I left for college."

"You really are kinda a hook, line and sinker kinda guy, aren't you? No casual hookups?"

"No. No casual hookups. And yup. That pretty much sums it up. There was a girl in college. An on-again, off-again kind of thing. But that was on her. Not me. I would've followed her to the altar had she let me."

"So, was she pretty?" Joy tugged at her jacket. It kept the heat in, but it was the furthest thing from sexy. "I meant in her Carhartt."

"I don't know. Did they have Carhartt back then?"

Joy gave Cade the look.

Humor rumbled in Cade's chest. "Trisha was pretty. Nothing like you. You could wear a sack and my heart would still explode."

"I make your heart explode?"

"You have no idea."

Joy laughed to ease the pressure. It was a happy sound, but it left her chest empty--aching. The clock was ticking and although vacation would double their time together, life after Cade was starting to look ten times worse than life after James. And James--well, James dumped her at the altar.

They reached the bottom of one tree hill. It was more vertical than it'd looked from a distance. Joy leaned forward to ease her mount's climb.

"So what about you?" Cade said.

"Me?"

"Your first kiss? Where was it? Who was it?"

Joy bit her lip and ducked her head.

"Joy?"

"It's a secret." She blushed, because that was just silly. Cade lifted a brow.

Joy's chest deflated. This story was so embarrassing--on several levels. "I was a nerd, Cade. I wore Wranglers, remember. I wasn't popular."

"So?"

"It's easy to be a prude when no one wants you."

"There is no way on God's green Earth that some boy didn't want you."

Joy's heart swelled. Happiness bowed her lips despite her embarrassment. She felt heat in her cheeks anyway. "I'd completed my first year of college before I ever received my first kiss."

"Was it worth the wait?" Genuine interest sounded in Cade's voice.

Joy snuck a peek at Cade from behind her locks. He was not teasing her. She saw zero judgement. Something shifted inside Joy and a tension she'd not even been aware of, eased.

"It was just after finals freshman year. I'd gone to a 'Summer Kick-off Party' on Greek Row with my roommate. It wasn't like just one Frat or Sorority. The party was like the whole street."

"And the cops didn't show up?"

"Oh, they did, but that was later. Roxy and I fell in with this group of football players and I guess I was drunk enough I was cool. You know, not a nerd. Not a prude."

"Or they thought they were going to get lucky." A dark note had entered Cade's voice.

"Well, yeah," she said in snarky voice while shooting her date a silly expression. "It wasn't like Roxy and I weren't trying to get lucky too. I mean, I'd never been kissed. I wanted kissed." She intentionally let her voice shift towards dreamy. It wouldn't hurt Cade to think he might have a little competition. God knew he didn't. Her heart was one-thousand percent taken. "They were big and strong and... musclely. Really, really musclely. I mean they were footba--"

"I get the picture."

A happy sound spilled from her lips. Cade shot her a sharp took. Her lips twitched into a smile.

"You're doing this intentionally."

"Yup."

"So you waited until you were in college and then landed yourself a football player. Great. I'm sorry I asked."

Oh God, he sounded grumpy, agitated, jealous. His pain shouldn't have made her happy, but--Oh. My. God--it was so exciting that she--she--could make him jealous over something that had happened fourteen years ago. "Oh, it get's better."

"How?" Cade barked. "How can it get better?"

"The quarterback and I ended up in a pool house out behind one of the frats." Woody had been second string, but still, a quarterback was a quarterback.

"Was it as good as you'd always imagined?" Grumpy, jealous Cade was back. Joy's heart was about to explode.

"Like--uh--yeah!"

"Fuck."

"He asked me if he could..." Joy tried to suppress her smile while she waited for Cade to take the bait but this was too good. Her whole body was vibrating. She'd had no idea she could rile Cade like this. It was too awesome.

"If he could what, Joy?"

"Finger me."

"You said, 'no.'" He said it like he knew that hadn't been her answer.

"I said, 'yes' but--" Fudgenuggets! She'd said one word too many. She'd lost her virginity to Woody... just not that night.

"That good, huh." Cade didn't sound happy.

Joy planted her face in her gloves. "No."

A heartbeat pulsed. "What happened?" Cautious curiosity painted Cade's voice.

She'd not meant to go here. "I was drunk. I'd forgotten what time of the month it was."

"Uh. What's that? You're talking to your gloves."

"I got my period," Joy barked louder. "Three days early."

A choked sound came from Cade's direction. Unable to bear the suspense, Joy peaked between two fingers. Cade was biting his lip. His face twitched with a suppressed smile. He actually scrubbed a tear from his eye.

"You ass."

"I'm sorry, I--" Cade cut off. He looked like his sides might split.

"It was really traumatic."

Cade squeezed his eyes closed. Tears clung to his lashes. "I'm sure it was." His tone was tight with the pressure of containing his laughter.

"I was mortified!" Just like she was now in remembered shame. She probably looked like a cherry tomato.

"Joy. I'm not laughing at you. I'm--"

"You're so laughing at me."

Cade was still laughing. Not out loud. At least the fury had burned away her shame.

"Joy, you know all those America's Funniest Home Videos? You ever watch that show? Busted nuts, water skiing accidents and Evel Knievel stunts gone wrong were what made that show. We don't laugh because someone got hurt. We laugh because we empathize. We laugh because we're relieved it's not us. We laugh because we're relieved you're going t' be okay."

"Well, I'm still mad."

"That's okay. You have every right to be mad. Just like I have every right to be relieved you're okay."

Joy blinked. "Oh." She was okay. They approached the tree. There was a hitching post beneath it. Joy brought the topic back to Cade. "So your first kiss was here?"

"Yup."

"How was it here? You didn't tell me how you and Trisha ended up in the tree."

"I told you we were riding. Didn't I? Trisha's father took the girls trail riding all the time. Since I was over there on the barrels, whenever I could, I was sometimes allowed to tag along. We'd been riding all day long. It was so hot. While we stopped to give the horses a breather in the shade, Trish an' I climbed the tree. When her father said it was time to leave--when he took off--we were the last ones behind. That's when she pounced."

"She pounced," Joy deadpanned.

Cade shot Joy a sideways look. "Yes. Pounced. She stalked me. I was trapped. Helpless."

Happy bubbles popped in Joy's chest. A smile bowed her lips. "Any tongue?"

It was Cade's turn to deadpan. "It was her first kiss, too."

Joy turned her overo off the path and towards the tree. "Well, I want tongue." She climbed up on the saddle of her horse like she'd been doing it all her life and plopped her butt on the lowest branch. "Come here." Joy patted the empty spot beside her. Cade rolled his eyes.

"You know I'm not forty anymore."

"Oh, boohoo. Get your butt up here."

Cade rode up beside her. With considerably less grace, he swung off his horse and bellied up beside Joy. The tree shook. Joy's mount spooked and trotted a few yards away. Cade's bay stepped to follow and left Cade dangling. With a grunt, Cade levered his tight ass up on the branch beside Joy.

"Hi."

Cade chuffed out a breath. "Hi."

Joy scooched back against the tree trunk and turned such that she was astride--facing Cade. "Well?" Joy emphasized the ell.

Cade rolled his eyes a second time. He slid over--side saddle between her legs. He braced himself with a hand over her head against the trunk. He leaned in.

And flicked her nose with his tongue.

What the? "Ew. Cade!"

"You said tongue."

Joy grabbed his face, curled her fingers in the short hair flanking his ears, and--

Pounced.

Flavor assaulted Joy. A hint of mint. The Coke he had with lunch. Cinnamon. Fiery cinnamon. And that flavor that was just him, Cade. The pressure that'd taken up residence in her breast swelled. Joy hummed.

An hour might've passed for all Joy knew before they broke apart. Cade leaned his forehead against Joy's. "Good God." Hot air washed over Joy's winter-pinched cheeks. A cheeky grin appeared on his face. Desire ghosted over his expression and swept the grin away. "Can I finger you?"

Joy choked. They were in a winter nude tree. On the bare side of a mountain. The trail was ten yards away. There was absolutely no cover.

"We're not in a pool house." The thudding, crashing, beating of Joy's heart strangled her words.

"Doesn't matter." Cade sounded equally affected.

"My period's not for another two weeks." Again, Joy had trouble getting words out around the heart lodged in her throat. She tried to laugh. It came out sounding of wanton desire.

Cade's mouth moved. No sound came out. He tried a second time. "Good." He sounded choked. "I want to erase that memory."

Joy's gaze darted up and down the trail. Cade had already pointed out sneak attack mountain bikers. "Okay. Yeah." Joy breathed a grounding breath. "Yes."

Cade fumbled her cowgirl buckle with his free hand. He popped the button of her pants and tugged down the zipper. Joy clung to his face. Cade's hand cupped the juncture between her legs. She sank into his lips. Through the cotton of her thong, Cade ground the heel of his hand into her clit. Their tongues tangled. Heat swelled and swelled and swelled. Joy began rocking.

Sudden cold.

"No!" Joy bit Cade's lip. A mew, a needy frustration ripped from her throat. Cade pulled back, shot her a sultry look, tasted his fingers and then shoved down her shoestring thong. A spit-slick finger circled her naked nub.

"Oh--" Joy's voice was tight as though trapped in her breast. "--God." She tried to reach Cade's lips. He leaned into her, pushed her against the tree trunk and tangled his fist in her hair. Her lavender, knit pom-pom beanie dropped to the ground as Joy followed the gentle tug that exposed the side of her neck. Kisses trailed across her jaw and across her exposed flesh.

A molten sugar heat coiled in her core. Her clit hummed like a crystal that might break given the right harmonic. Cade's fingers shifted lower--stroked her petals. The heat weeping from her core caused them to bloom. A finger feathered into her and touched her. Right. There.

"Oh, Cade." Joy banded herself around him--her words a strained whimper. Cade grabbed at the tree trunk to anchor them. Joy rocked into him, pushing his finger deeper. Cade curled his fingers towards the entrance of her sex. Kilo-amp jolts sparked along the sensitive nerves there.

The coil within Joy's core wound impossibly tight. She arched. Her heels dug into Cade's back. She rocked her hips into him.

"Cade." Cade's name escaped with pressure cooker strain. Joy's head lulled. Cade scraped his teeth over the soft juncture of collar and throat.

"Cade!" Joy crashed into him. She broke. Release raced up her spine and slammed into her heart. Her mind vibrated with an eruption of kaleidoscope stars.

"Cade," Joy whispered into Cade's shoulder. The last shiver raced through Joy. Cade extracted his hand from her pants.

"I've got you."

Joy melted into Cade. She nuzzled his shoulder. "Thank you."

"That good, huh?"

More heartbeats. "Yeah." Joy gave a breathy laugh.

"Better than Woody?"

"Who?"

Cade shot Joy a cocky grin. "Yeah. That's what I'm talkin' about. Here, let me hand you down before our horses wander off too far."

On the ground, Cade climbed on his bay and went after her overo. Joy collected her ski beanie from the dust and waited--her pants not quite pulled over her hips. Cade cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Cade."

"Yeah?"

"A little damp. Just sayin'."

"Oh. Yeah. Um." Cade dug in the bay's saddlebags. "Here." He handed Joy a handful of picnic napkins. Joy rolled her eyes--not that he could see.

"You don't have to turn your back."

"Are you really asking me to bend you over that rail? He pointed at the makeshift hitching post beneath the tree. Because I'd be happy to. Just sayin'."

Joy hummed.

"Joy?"

"Let me think about it. Okay?" Joy said the last word on a crescendo.

"Joy!" Cade's voice was a strained growl.

A happy peal escaped Joy's chest. "No. Nope. I think not. Not right now."

"Joy, you're killin' me."

Joy hitched up her pants. "Maybe on the way back. We are coming back? This way, I mean." She handed Cade a wadded ball of napkins that smelled of sex--her sex. She graced Cade with a mischievous smirk. At least Joy had tried for mischievous. Insanely happy might've sabotaged her. "Find a place for that so we don't litter."

"Joy," Cade growled, "have you ever considered how painful it is to ride when all you want to do is bust a nut?"

"Nope." Joy popped her P. "Never."

A Jake brake groan rumbled from Cade's chest.

***

Joy reigned in her mount. Their round trip had brought them back to the top of Kissing Tree Hill. For the first time in several hours, the trail was wide enough for her and Cade to ride abreast. The sun had dipped towards the horizon. The sinking sun had turned the miles upon miles of water before them into a molten gold mirror framed by snow-clad mountains. Joy exhaled an anima breath in wonder.

Cade heeled his bay up beside her. His eyes reflected the same gold glow as the lake. "Pretty impressive, huh? It'd be pretty cool if..."

The sun sank lower. Words escaped Joy, and apparently Cade, too. Their twinned sighs sounded heavy with their awe. A fiery gold beam blazed across the lake--a mirror of its sister in the sky. It was as though heaven had dropped Jacob's ladder upon the shore of the island. Joy could easily imagine angels striding in that otherworldly light. Had she seen it in a photo, she would've sworn it was photoshopped.

Cade cleared what sounded like cement from his throat. "I hadn't dared hope."

"You mean you've seen this before?" Joy wasn't sure she believed him. She wasn't sure she believed she was seeing it now.

"It'd cause wrecks. Up in east Layton. On 89. Ten--twenty--a hundred cars would pull off the road during rush hour trying to get photos. In the twenty-odd years I lived here during my childhood, I only remember seeing it five or six times."

"It is beautiful."

"Yes." The hushed note of wonder in Cade's voice caused Joy to turn towards him. He was not looking at the sunset. Their eyes met and the foundation of Joy's world quaked. The pressure gauge in Joy's chest wobbled towards critical. Even with the whole word gilded in gold, this man had eyes only for her. Looping her reins over the head of her overo mount, she climbed from her saddle to his.

"Thank you." She kissed him. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." Joy peppered Cade's lips, jaw, forehead, eyelids and neck. Joy's endearments heated. The whisky in Cade's gaze turned more molten than the sun. The steep slope of their horse's descent forced Cade to lay back, Joy atop him. The sway ground Joy against Cade, his saddle's horn pressed hard against her ass. The twinned, bruising assaults did something to Joy she'd never imagined. Despite the discomfort, despite the ache of the ride, the nexus of Joy's thighs pricked with Pop-Rock pleasure.

Joy spoke into Cade's mouth. "Cade--" Her hand rooted around behind her. She was pretty much sitting on the bay's reins. Joy tried to guide the horse. "--Kissing Tree. Now."

The golden beam dissipated to be replaced by creeping purple and dazzling pink. Cade handed Joy off the horse, but her slide down was more of a controlled fall. Joy staggered out of the path of their mounts, but her quaking legs would not hold her. She plopped in the dust on her ass. Cade looped the reins over the hitching post and came to give Joy a hand up.

Joy smiled up at him. The steep slope meant that even sitting, she was at eye level with Cade's broad chest rather than his crotch. She figured she made a rather silly picture of a cowgirl sitting in the dust with a lavender pom-pom beanie on her head.

"Cade," she said. Joy tilted her head back to look into his eyes. "I had fun today." Joy avoided his proffered hand up and hooked her fingers in his belt.

"Yeah. Me too."

Joy tugged at Cade. Cade shuffled a step but otherwise held his ground. Joy rolled her eyes and tugged a second time. "Come here."

Cade straddled her legs in order to come forward. "Joy, what're you doin'?"

Joy planted her chin on Cade's abs and battered her eyelashes. She palmed the bulge growing under the fly of his Levis. Joy hummed--the vibration in her chest resonating throughout her body. Joy popped the buttons of Cade's fly. She reached into his pants to massage the boxer-brief-clad swell within.

Cade's pupils dilated. "Y--You don't have to." The words sounded forced. He did not step back.

"So?" Joy traced a finger up the underside of boxer clad shaft.

"So--" A shudder interrupted Cade. When his words came, they were strained. "--I mean, you don't have to."

Joy leaned back. A sharp tug brought him another step forward. She was gratified to see the small wet spot on his boxers at the apex of his shaft. The odd angle meant she could get her lips on him and gaze into his face without extra contortions. She mouthed Cade through his boxer briefs. He swelled so hard against her lips that Joy could feel his heartbeat.

Joy hummed deep in her throat. "What if I want to?"

"Joy." The word was said under his breath but no less explosive. Cade staggered an involuntary step that pushed him into her face. He swelled until his shaft was pushing out the top of his briefs. Precum bubbled up to coat it. Joy's hat fell aside. Cade's fingers tangled in her hair, anchoring him to Earth and her to him. She yanked down his waistband, fisted the root of his shaft and ran the flat of her tongue up the underside. Gaze locked on his blissed-out eyes, she swirled his head with her tongue. His fingers curled in her hair to an almost painful degree. Joy swallowed Cade down.

"Joy, that feels--" Cade gasped. His body shuddered. "--amazing." Strain tightened his tone.

Pride swelled in Joy's chest. Her breathing grew rapid. Her pulse drummed in her ears. She had done this to Cade. She, Joy, was the cause of his pleasure, his distress. She'd never gotten excited about the thought of going down. Some licks, some spit pre-lube or a condom fitting, fine, but choking one down just didn't excite her.

Except just the thought of swallowing Cade had Joy slick. The look in his eyes had her clenched so hard it knocked the breath from her.

Cade jerked--one time. Joy bobbed her head, gulping on every stroke--forcing him deeper.

"J--Joy." Cade's voice quaked with his need. His eyes rolled up and his chin fell back. He tremored. His knees flexed and he pulled back. Joy's fingers rooted on his thighs. She thrust him down her throat. Pride and passion wound her clit so tight Joy's thighs clamped together.

"Joy, I'm going to come." Cade tugged at her hair like he couldn't decide if he wanted her on or off. Joy knew right where she wanted Cade. She vacuum-sealed her lips and sucked.

"I--"

Joy hummed. She erased Cade's words. He shuddered. Cade's gaze dropped to Joy's and whatever he saw sent him tumbling over the edge. Want answered want. Need answered need. Relief--surrender demanded the same and Joy's tension snapped. A quake ripped through Joy. Lava heat slicked her thighs as Joy swallowed all Cade had to offer.

The Ex

Joy

Joy tugged Cade's arm about herself. She rested her head upon his shoulder. Another couple eyeballed her--him--them. Joy ignored their judgmental stare. So what if Cade was, like, older? It'd been a long time since Joy had slept in a cradle. The elevator dinged and the nose-bleeders exited the cab on the third floor.

The doors closed. Joy rotated her head up. The ice in Cade's eyes melted like a Hershey's Kiss on a summer's day. If Joy had been an emoji, she would have had hearts in her eyes.

Cade said, "You're too good for me."

The warm fuzzies in Joy's chest retreated. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't back out on me now."

Cade pecked Joy's glossed lips. "Never."

The fuzzies returned and wrapped Joy in a thick cashmere blanket. The elevator dinged. Cade ushered Joy from the elevator.

And halted.

A woman sat on the floor with her back to their door. Upon laying eyes upon them, she pushed herself to her feet. A duffel and board lay at her feet.

"Hi, Cade." A poisoned pause followed. "Joy."

Cade's arm crushed Joy's shoulder into him. "Heather." His voice was low--dangerous--atomic.

Heather glanced at Joy. She tried to hold Joy's stare. Heather broke first. "Cade, I need your help." There was quiet, last-stand desperation in Heather's voice. "Can we talk in private?

"No!" Joy's voice was a sonic blast. A chlorine cloud burned in her breast. "No. I'm sorry. Not my business." Joy broke Cade's hold. "I'll just go--" They'd been together so long. Terror of rejection, of not being enough, blocked Joy's windpipe. James had left her at the altar for his ex. Now the woman Cade pined for wanted him back.

Cade caught Joy's retreating hand. He tugged Joy back to his side. "Joy's with me."

"I just meant in your room rather than the hall."

She so had not. Cade raised an eyebrow at Joy, asking her permission.

"Okay." It was a small word in a small voice. Joy felt smaller still. Joy tried to pull away from Cade again, but his arm tightened. As one, they eased around Heather and her gear. Joy wanted to ask why that was there. Cade let them into the room.

Heather dropped her duffle bag and leaned her snowboard against the wall just a few paces inside the door. Cade steered Joy around to the suite's sitting area. Cade and Heather knew each other. Had known each other. For years, maybe decades. She didn't know how long they'd dated before they married. Joy had known Cade for less than two weeks. A hollow ache filled her chest. What was she playing at?

It wasn't until Cade pulled her down beside him that Joy realized she was trembling. Had he noticed? Was that why he pulled her tighter? Joy noticed Heather noticing. Heather's shoulders stiffened briefly and then slumped, more defeated than before.

"So what brings you to our--"

Our? Warmth spread through Joy. She was on a roller coaster. She'd just hit another high. Tension sizzled up her spine, warning of the approaching low.

"--door, Heather?" Cade's voice was not happy.

Heather closed her eyes. Her breasts rose and fell with a grounding breath. An edge of fear sliced her voice. "I need your help, Cade."

Cade's grip around Joy's shoulder tightened. "For what?"

By way of answer, Heather stripped off her coat and rolled up a sleeve of her turtleneck. Dark fingerprint bruises overlay discolored yellow skin. "This," Heather said, "was for announcing I was leaving when we got home." She indicated the newer bruises. "The others are for daring to look for a new job--without him."

Joy felt shock--and then the fury--burn through Cade. She herself thought she might be sick. The bruising wasn't bad. But any bruising--that there was bruising--was bad!

"Cade." His name was a whisper. Joy wasn't entirely sure what message was in her eyes. Empathy? Anger? Fear? All Joy knew was that if she was the one being battered, she'd hope she could count on Cade regardless of their relationship status. Cade got it. Joy read the same message in his eyes.

Turning back to Heather, he said, "How can we help? What do you need?"

Heather pulled her sleeve back down. "I took a job at the Ferndale refinery. Jenny--you remember Jenny--in purchasing? She packed a U-Haul while Derik and I were away. I was supposed to..." Heather trailed off. Joy thought she caught a quiet sob.

"Supposed to do what, Heather?" Cade's tone suggested hellfire, but Joy could hear that the flames weren't directed at Heather.

Apparently, Heather heard the same thing. She squared her shoulders. She vacuumed in a centering breath. "I was supposed to Uber down the mountain and catch a rental in Salt Lake. I planned to be clear of Rawlings before Derik got home. Even if I wasn't, I've no need to return to his place. The truck's at Jenny's."

"What went wrong?" Cade's voice was gruff.

Heather's stare locked on Cade's eyes. "I tried to grow up." A beat pulsed. Heather sighed. "When I saw you, I remembered what I did to you. It was wrong, Cade--never mind that you weren't catching the hints I dropped. I should've told you straight. I owed you that after nineteen years." Heather looked at the hands clenched in her lap. "I'm paying for that. I tried to do better this time. I couldn't not tell Derik." She lifted her gaze again. "He took my license and cards."

"Have you called the police?" Cade's tone was glacial.

Heather ran a hand through her hair. "Cade, that'd be such a mess." She sounded a little exasperated. Joy couldn't help but sympathize.

"I've already reported the cards lost. New ones should arrive at Jenny's tomorrow. I'll need a new license when I get to Washington anyhow. Fingers crossed, here's to hoping I don't get pulled over on the way. But I need a ride--" Heather fidgeted with her hands. "--to Rawlings. And--" Her pleading gaze turned to Joy. "--a place to stay until then."

"Of course!" The words were out of Joy's mouth before she'd even realized she was going to speak. "You can have my roo--er--the spare--" A sunburn heat rose in Joy's cheeks. "I can just get my stuff an..."

"Sleep in our bed."

Our bed. Not his bed. Our bed. Joy's knees went weak at the assured declaration. She had not questioned that she would be welcome to sleep with Cade unless, maybe, he invited Heather, but his affirmation of her position in his life, to his ex-wife no less, swelled Joy's chest with a sense of belonging.

***

An hour later, Joy picked at the hem of the orange tee she'd been using for a nightshirt. In the blackness beside her, on his back, hands folded behind his head, Cade stared up at the ceiling. His chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm and Joy wanted to reach out and touch. Yet the silence that'd stolen over Cade after Heather had moved into the other room stilled Joy's fingers. How had such a perfect day... cratered? Joy'd fought Steve for this time and now...

"May I ask you a question?" Cade said. His voice was only just audible.

Joy lifted her head so that she could look him in the eyes. A heartbeat cycled before she bobbed her chin, scooched closer and rested her head on his shoulder. If they were over, she'd store up as much of his touch, his scent, this feeling of home in her heart as she could get.

"How long have you been at MMI?"

Joy stiffened. Why this? Why now? What did it have to do with Heather? She blew out a sigh that fluttered her hair. She nuzzled her face into his shoulder.

"Two years, in February," she said into the crook of his neck.

"Why are you still there?" His tone was curious. Joy did not detect any judgment.

A hot, wet breath escaped Joy. She could feel it wash hot over her hand, where she'd started absently tugging at the hairs on his chest. She continued her silent, contemplative play for more than a minute. Cade merely waited.

"I graduated when I was twenty-two," she said. "I landed a job at P&C, another integrator. It was a good job. I had a good boss. He was a great mentor. In short, I found in James everything I'd been told to look for." Her fingers paused in their perusal of his chest. She pinched a slim gap of air between thumb and forefinger for him to see. "I might've had a teeny weeny crush." She could remember having the feeling, but not how it felt to have that feeling. Cade had erased any lingering sense of attraction. "He had a serious girlfriend, though." A heartbeat cycled. "Aaannd then he didn't."

"Ah." It was the only thing he said, and silence reigned.

Joy lifted her face to study his eyes. He looked back at her, his expression open but... a little sad. He was thinking about Heather. She could feel it. The soft smile she granted him echoed his sorrow and she returned her cheek to his shoulder. They were all but over and they both knew it. There was no need now for her to hide what had once been her deepest pain. Tomorrow, Cade would take Heather to wherever it was she needed to go and when he returned, if he returned, things would not be the same. Joy's heart ached for her loss.

"We started hanging, you know, at happy hour and other group functions. There were whispers in the office, but nothing serious. I ignored it because I was happy and it seemed harmless."

She stopped. She nibbled her lip, contemplating exactly what to say. Cade knew much of it already. He could probably guess the rest, but she could feel him holding his breath, as though he prayed she go on.

Joy decided to tell all. I wasn't like her heart could bleed any more. "James and I had a job together. Clearwater Paper. On the way home, we got stuck. Had to hole up in Leavenworth."

Joy felt Cade's jaw work against the top of her heart. "Stuck? How?" His tone was gruff. What exactly was it he was thinking?

"Passes snowed in. Flood in Centralia." She paused. "Anyhow, we got this room, cabin really, and--yeah."

Joy felt Cade tense. She tapped his sternum twice with a fingernail and his muscles loosened. Even with one foot out the door, the man was jealous. She should've been angry... or something. But besides her sorrow, she couldn't dredge up any feelings.

"It wasn't long before I had a ring. Mom was ecstatic. I was in love." Joy fell silent. A minute dragged by. Then a second. Joy felt Cade open his mouth to ask what happened next, so before he could speak, she continued.

"But James wasn't. At least not with me. His ex, Jaqueline, a woman in drafting, wasn't happy either." She nuzzled into the warmth of his shoulder. This pain she could remember. It was not as intense now; it had nothing on losing Cade to Heather, but the injuries were still there. The pain was still real and it was like a foreshadowing of what was coming for her when she inevitably lost Cade. "The whispers turned nasty. I was moved off of James' team to discourage nepotism." Joy looped an arm across his chest and riveted herself to him. "He dumped me." She hiccupped. "A week before the wedding."

"Shit."

"Yeah--" She'd taken time off to be with Cade and now, yeah, shit. "--that wasn't the worst of it, though, if you can believe that." Joy choked out a weak laugh. The next words stuck behind her sternum and, for a moment, refused to come out. "At work, everyone picked sides. Everyone was Team James or Team Jaqueline. No one was Team Joy. Jaqueline made sure of it. I lasted a year. A year and a half?" It had been the worst years of her life.

Cade shifted under her. A hand came round to stroke her hair. Despite how she was feeling, it felt warm, comforting, of home. "I'm so sorry, Joy," Cade said. There was a surprising amount of empathy in his voice, like he'd somehow been there too.

"Are you sure?" He felt her smile into his shoulder. "Because had it worked out, we would not have had today."

"I'm sorry that you had to go through that, for your pain."

"I--yeah, that hurt." Joy was silent a beat. Not as bad as this. "My sleep suffered. My work suffered. I suffered. My boss couldn't help me. HR couldn't help me. I don't think anyone knew how to help me and every time I went for help, things seemed to go from bad to worse. I was the bitch that couldn't hack her job and I eventually had to quit before I got fired."

"Ouch."

Joy could feel the word tumble, like gravel in a cement mixer, in his chest.

"Ouch. Like, big ouch. Shrink said I had PTSD." She shifted uncomfortably against Cade's side. Shrink might've said she'd had PTSD, but everyone else seemed to expect her to just pick up and go on with life. "But that's like for soldiers and crash victims and stuff like that, right?"

"I don't know, Joy. Trauma is trauma. It's not predictable what one person can handle and another can't. Or vice versa. It's possible you would've come out of the threat of bombs, landmines and snipers less injured."

"All I know is that I couldn't function." She hadn't even been able to look for another job. The thought of going to work had been... soul-numbing. "I was thirty and had to move back home because I wasn't able to make a living. My mom had to force me to live." Joy gave out a wet laugh. "And now she can't stop. But she got me out of the hole and I kind of owe her."

"It's not love if it enslaves you."

Joy hooked a leg over his hip and pressed herself to his warmth. It would've been nice if what he said was true, but in her experience, love came with expectations, burdens, debts and vulnerabilities. "Perhaps. But she's Mom. And she does love me when she remembers."

Cade let the silence hang.

"Anyhow--" She dragged out both syllables of the word. "--Mom got me living again. I landed a job at MMI. I just feel like--Cade, I have to make this work."

"For how long?" His tone was gentle.

"I--" She didn't know. "Until I heal?" Would she ever heal, or would it just be replaced by a worse, bigger injury?

Cade pondered Joy's words. "Are you going to be able to do that, I mean, with Steve there?"

Probably not. But what was she supposed to do? Moving on meant starting over. "He wasn't always like this. I mean, he was always a little Skeeve--" She shuddered. "--but he didn't get mean until I..."

"Until you what?"

"Until I got my act together." Holy shit, was Steve scared of her? Of her abilities?

Cade didn't say anything, but she felt him stiffen, almost as if he were waiting for her to voice her conclusion--as if he'd already arrived there.

"He's afraid of me."

"He's afraid of you," he echoed. She could feel the tension drain from him.

***

Cade

Finally, finally, she got it. Steve treated her poorly, not because she sucked at her job, but because she was so good at it. Steve believed if others saw how good she was, if she learned how good she was, he'd lose something, either his recipe for success, her, or his job. He'd suspected it even before he'd met Steve. He'd tried to tell her that night she'd gone to Seattle, but he'd not quite figured it out yet and so not found the right words, or she'd been unable to understand. Sometimes a person had to arrive at an answer themselves.

Now he just needed to communicate something even more important. The only woman for Cade was Joy. Heather didn't even register. But he and Heather clearly reminded her of James and Jaqueline a little too much. Cade understood her fear now, but how did he tell her there was no need for it?

Apparently he'd taken too long to find his voice, his words.

"So what about you? What happened to you to... get you here?" Joy asked.

He didn't want to, but she'd given so much. He didn't know how this was going to help his cause, but it was not time to play dumb.

"I met Heather twenty--twenty-one--twenty-two years ago at the oil refinery she still works at, or at least worked at until recently. She was a Process Engineer. I was Controls. As you can imagine, our disciples required us to work closely."

He pondered his next words. Joy shifted so she could look upon his face. It took effort, but he decided not to hide. He needed Joy to know he was all in with her.

"I was a contractor then. Got on permanent later. We did the dating stuff and married." He cycled a grounding breath because this next shit had scarred him. Joy must've sensed it because she clamped herself tighter against his side. "As I paid more attention, as I became more aware, I saw how Heather was treated. She wasn't the only woman in an engineering position, but she was way outnumbered. I tried to man up, but Joy, I kid you not, I was scared to say what needed to be said. To make myself a target. And Heather gave me an out. She'd blow things off as no big deal. Say that that was just the way it was, or, on the worst occasions, just tell me to wait for it to all blow over. But I..."

Joy simply held him as she waited.

He sighed. It didn't release the pain in his chest. They'd moved from his goal of convincing Joy that she was the only one to something different. "There was this woman, Brittney, a new hire, fresh out of school. She'd been there nearly a year and I'd run into her maybe twice, even though our offices were only a half-dozen doors apart."

"I was in this meeting with, I don't know, ten other guys. We were waiting because the man who had called the meeting didn't want to repeat himself. Brittney hobbled in five minutes late with the help of another woman, someone from accounting, I think. I knew Brittney was pregnant. Everyone knew Brittney was pregnant. But when Brittney entered that meeting room, it was apparent that she couldn't have been more than a week or two from her due date."

Joy shifted uncomfortably. Cade had grown so tense that he trembled.

"This dude," he choked out, "her boss, started teasing her about popping in the room. When a few of the other guys laughed, he pushed the joke, made these little baby noises and mimed a mini-Brittney running around the room. Brittney turned her face away from every person at the conference table, hid behind her hair, like you do, and made a sound. It was a giggle, and perhaps I'm projecting, but it was the most uncomfortable thing I have ever heard."

A tear tracked down his face. It was followed by two more and then one from the other eye.

"I didn't speak up."

He released a heavy, wet sigh that shuddered as it exited his pent-up chest.

"I didn't see her again for a long while. Maternity leave, I suppose. But I was sitting right beside Brittney when she was singled out and teased in a crowd of thirty or more men. The room was packed and she climbed over me in her haste to get out of the room."

"I will not lie, Joy. I rarely spoke up in public, but I was never able to not speak up again--even when I was asked not to by the women involved. I tried, if they asked. But it gnawed at me. I'd make it a day or two, a week at most. Sooner or later, I'd go to the instigator. Or my boss. I became a thorn in HR's side. I followed the law, company policy and my heart. I was a whistleblower--or so I thought. But when I yelled at Heather for blowing Derik while at work, I was fired for sexual harassment and I don't understand how that was me when no others had been."

Cade hid his face from Joy.

He coked out the questions that had plagued him every bit as much as his broken heart for the past two years. "Joy, did I hurt those women? Was I actually the problem?"

Obligations

Cade

The cattle truck had fallen several car lengths behind Cade's 4Runner. He flipped on his blinker and swapped lanes. The rattletrap Ford Focus on his bumper zoomed forward. For the last four, nearly five hours, Cade had been in a confined space with his ex-wife. He'd not felt a single spark. He glanced at her sideways. She was just as pretty as he remembered. Heather just no longer did it for him. Rather, his thoughts kept returning to the smell of lavender, soft warmth, dark mahogany-colored hair and aquamarine eyes. Heather looked up from her phone.

"Jenny says the truck's in the Walmart parking lot. She's locked my new Visa in the glove compartment. Apparently, Derik's already come looking for me."

"Is she safe?"

"Yeah. Her husband, Tom, did you meet him? He might've hired on after you left. Anyhow, Tom's like a mountain. A Mr. Universe contestant or some bonehead thing like that. I warned Jenny yesterday. That's why she moved the U-Haul to Walmart."

"What about keys?"

Heather pulled a key from her purse. "Door. The ignition key's in the consul with my Visa."

Road noise swallowed the silence that descended between them. Cade asked his phone to plot a route to Walmart--mostly to remember what exit he needed. Fifteen minutes remained of their too-long drive.

"You love her, don't you?" A small self-deprecating laugh escaped Heather. Her gaze remained fixed on the passing scenery.

A mile sped by. "Yeah." Cade's response was a sigh. He'd almost admitted it to Joy last night and it wasn't exactly his ex-wife's business. Joy should hear it first. But still, he and Heather had history. "I suppose I do."

Heather's stare bounced off him. "You do. No suppose about it. How long have you known this... Joy?" The expression on her face suggested she remembered she used to be his joy.

Cade couldn't help the grin that scrawled across his face. Joy's eyes. Her smile. Her rental. The fire. The hot tub. Oh, damn, the hot tub. Dinner. Skiing. Their date. Cade had known Joy for a week and a half and he was in love. After Heather, he'd thought he'd never love again, and now--there wasn't even the sting of heartburn over Heather. Cade's heart beat only for Joy. Now he simply had to convince Joy of that. He wasn't sure what he'd do about the horses, but he'd follow her to Seattle and stay there to convince her of that.

"Long enough." Cade felt dopey saying that. The exit came into view. He turned a blinker on. The need to be back where he could see, hear, smell and touch Joy was suddenly all-consuming.

Heather laughed--at him. "You were always easy."

Cade guided the 4Runner off Interstate-84. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're a nice guy. All a girl's got to do is tug and you're hers. That's not a bad thing. You'll never stray."

Cade looked sideways at Heather. He wasn't sure what to make of what he was hearing.

"Look, Cade. That woman is head over heels for you. I can tell. I'm pretty sure anyone who meets the two of you can tell. You're going to be a fool for her--more than once. But she's going to be a fool for you too. You could do a lot worse--and probably not any better." Heather looked in her lap. Her voice dropped. "God knows you did a lot worse the first time."

With that, Cade couldn't argue. Walmart came up. Cade brought the 4Runner alongside the U-Haul parked on the outskirts of the lot. While Heather unlocked the Rav4 on the tow trailer, Cade collected her gear and tossed it inside. Heather made for the cab and turned to him once it was open.

"Thank you." She paused. Her voice grew softer. "For everything. Thank Joy, too. This can't be easy on her."

"I will." No problem sounded in his mind, but Joy was right. This had been a problem--the biggest being his time away from Joy. He would do this again if the need was great enough, but he certainly didn't want to. "You're welcome, Heather."

When Heather hugged him, Cade stiffened. She released him in under a heartbeat, but a sad smile bowed her lips. She climbed into the cab. When the truck rumbled to life, Cade watched Heather drive away. There was no pain, there was no sorrow, just goodbye and the all-consuming need to get back to Joy. Back on the interstate, it took every atom of Cade's being to keep the speedometer from climbing over a hundred.

***

Joy

Joy placed her elbows on either side of her laptop. She rested her face in her hands. Joy's day had sucked. She was so in love--and so scared because she was with him.

Cade helping Heather had been the right thing, the only thing, to do. But still, she was with him. Heather, the woman Cade had married, lived with and hadn't let go of even when they'd divorced. Cade clearly had feelings for her, Joy, but he had made no secret of the fact that up until two weeks ago, Heather had ruled his heart. Would Cade still have feelings for Joy when he came back? Would he come back? Joy didn't know if it was more frightening that he might come back without feelings for her or that he might not come back at all.

Sending Cade away with Heather was painful. What were they doing? What was she saying? Did Heather want him back? God knew he was a catch. The best catch. Did Cade change his mind and want Heather back? The questions were an endless litany on fast-forward repeat. Joy was in love, and she was so impossibly scared.

"Well, I guess that's that." Don bumped Joy's shoulder to get her attention. The touch didn't linger. Nor did it make her skin crawl like an army of millipedes as Steve's would've. "Good job," he said when she looked up.

Joy's head bobbed in a careful nod. Despite the ragged, terror-streaked litany in her head, pride blossomed in Joy's chest. The job had gone smoothly, with far fewer hitches than anticipated. The only major stumble had been a reversing problem with the drive. Joy'd had to defend Cade's absence to Steve, Don and the electricians as if she hadn't spent every second of the day defending his absence to her heart. Steve--of course--had called Toshiba and some man named Jasper had talked to Don. Cade'd called and the sound of his voice had lifted Joy's soul to heaven. She'd crashed straight to hell when he'd hung up. Not that she should've babbled, I love you, I miss you, when will you be back with a roomful of people listening in. However, with Cade's help, Joy'd been able to determine that it had not been a drive problem after all.

Joy's PLC program had been asking the drive to run in reverse and stop simultaneously. The drive had done what it was supposed to. It had stopped. After an hour of pouring over the manual, thirty minutes of I/O testing with Brandi and a whole whopping three minutes to reprogram her error, the chairlift had worked flawlessly. One error in hundreds of lines of code bordered on miraculous. Another day of testing and they'd be ready to hand the lift over to Moose Mountain Ski Resort, LLC.

"See you later, boss." Brandi waved as she trooped from the room. Randi had brought up the snow-cat and Martin's team had loaded up a good bit of their construction gear. Don was already outside, huffing his way up the ladder.

"You comin'?" Steve asked as he clipped up his ski boots. "Your dickwad's not here. You want to grab some dinner?"

Joy glared at Steve. "You know, Steve, not everyone's a dickwad."

"I was just asking if you wanted dinner." Steve mouthed something that might've been bitch.

"No. I'm good." Not when you ask like that. Joy turned back to her laptop. "I'm going to check over a few things. Make sure I don't have another 'stop when we're supposed to start' error. Then I think I'll put in a few runs. I'm not hungry."

"We could meet up at eight." Steve's eyes lingered on Joy's bosom as though she were a waitress at Snow Bunnies breastaurant.

Joy closed her eyes and willed herself not to vomit. "I'll be fine. Thank you."

"What are you going to do when you run out of vacation?"

Joy's eyes snapped open. "What?"

"I mean, you and this thing you have with that dickwad has an expiration date. What're you going to do when your time's up? I mean, he's not even here. Didn't even help with the job."

A miasma-plagued corpse seemed to take up residence in Joy's belly. Her heart hurt as though hydrofluoric acid had replaced her blood. "I don't--" Joy's voice was not steady. "--see how that's your concern."

"Look, Joy. I'm just saying I'm the better option. When this is all over, I'll still be there."

"You're my boss. I'm not interested in you like that."

Steve ran a hand through his hair. "But you're interested in a man. Your mom was practically throwing me at you. Give me a chance. Let me change your mind."

"No." Joy's voice was small.

"I just thin--"

"No," she said, her tone stronger.

"J--"

"No, Steve! I'm not interested." Not now. Not ever. "I want to work for MMI. I want to do my job. I want to do a good job. One I'm proud of. One you can count on. I just--not that. I'm not interested like that. Okay?"

Steve's face hardened. He stomped from the room. Watching through the windows, Joy didn't breathe until he'd ripped his skis from the snowbank and launched downhill.

After Steve's departure, Joy got precisely zero work accomplished over the next thirty minutes. Cade on the brain had erased all else--even Steve's asshole moves. Giving up, she packed up and headed for the slopes. Two runs later, she still wasn't feeling it because he hadn't been with her all day. Skiing without Cade was no longer fun. When they parted, lots of things would no longer be fun. Chilled shadows clinging to her soul, Joy headed back to their room. She fell down on their bed and huffed the scent on his pillow.

Did Heather like the way he smelled?

Friggin' a, fudgenuggets. This hurt! Joy pulled out her phone. Cade had sent a text when he'd stopped for gas in Green River. That'd been some time ago. Joy's fingers auto-tapped a text.

"I miss you."

A notification dinged, but Joy's home screen remained blank.

"I missed you too."

Joy shot up off the bed. Cade was halfway to her before the door banged shut--his pace so rapid it looked like he might break into a run. Joy took two steps. Cade's coat dropped. She threw herself at him. He carried her into the wall. Their mouths came together--riveted by passion. They tasted each other. Love's harmonic swelled within Joy and resonated within her chest as a satisfied hum.

"You're back," Joy breathed. Heather hadn't stolen him.

Cade groaned, echoing Joy's joy at his homecoming. "You were all I could think about. On the way there. On the way back. Every thought. You."

"Cade--" Joy's heart swelled. He wasn't just saying empty words. Heather hadn't had him. Heather hadn't been a risk. She could hear it in his voice or maybe feel it in his aura. Joy's fear had been for nothing. She believed him. This was it. She was going to say it. "--I love you."

He looked poleaxed. And relieved. And so full of light that the sun would've looked dim beside him. "Thank you."

Thank you? Just thank you? An icy spike of fear hammered into Joy's sternum. She tried to disengage from Cade. He held onto her.

"Thank you?" Her voice quaked.

"I--you--I was trying to find the courage. You beat me to it. I love you, Joy. I love you so much, too. God, more than I've ever loved anyone before, more than I thought possible. I love you. I couldn't get home to you fast enough. I'm amazed I didn't get pulled over."

Joy climbed Cade. He'd said home. Joy banded around Cade so tight that when her core clenched, she saw unicorn sparkles behind her eyelids. She was home. She didn't know if that meant she was home or if she was Cade's home.

Both. It meant both. Joy's head lulled back against the wall and she quaked. Dizzy with desire, Joy brought her lips back around questing. When she found her mark and Cade tasted her, Joy moaned into his mouth. Cade's fingers dug into her thighs. He staggered a step, ripped open the sliding door and carried Joy out on the balcony. The sound of Cade's boot kicking back the hot tub cover reached Joy's ears.

"Cade?" Joy racked her fingernails over Cade's scalp. "What are you doing? Cade?"

By way of answer, Cade stepped into the hot tub. They splashed down, fully clothed. Joy's weight carried the two of them under. They surfaced, cheeks cupped in each other's hands, sharing air like their lives depended upon it. Of their own accord, Joy's fingers went to work on the buttons of Cade's shirt. Cade simply ignored the finer details and bunched Joy's shirt up under her boobs. Feeling around underwater, he popped open her rodeo buckle. Water-drenched denim was peeled down her thighs.

"Cade." Joy couldn't stop tasting him. Hot cinnamon spice and him. A taste that was all him. Joy toed at her boots underwater. With Cade's help, she kicked free of her jeans. Cursing the water, Joy ripped Cade's shirt from his chest. The black tee he often favored made a wet splat when it hit the deck. Cade shook his head to clear it of water. Joy's fingers threaded through the curls on his chest. They pressed closer. Ever closer. Joy ground on the denim bulge pressed to the juncture of her thighs.

Cade threaded his hands up under her shirt and bra. He thumbed her nipples. Joy's nerves snapped as though hit with a live wire.

"Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Cade!" Joy ground herself against Cade harder. It felt like--he felt like--home. Cade's kisses trailed along her jaw. Her head fell back like a rag doll when he lipped the diamond stud in her ear. Cade nipped his way down her exposed throat.

Joy jerked--her passion rheostat shorting. Pleasure edging on agony arced through her--its epicenter the bruising suction just above her collar. Joy's vision went blind, a kaleidoscope of all colors and none fractionated behind her eyes. The current running through Joy spiked so hard that had the hundred-and-two-degree water not cooled her, Joy's core might've melted.

"Cade." Joy clawed at Cade's pants. She had to get closer. She had to be home. She had to pull home so tight, so close, that the feeling would be branded upon her soul. A wrestling match of belt and water and denim ensued. When victory was achieved, she sank onto him. The voltage climbed to insulator breakdown highs. Their eyes met. But Cade's amber whisky eyes were not the grounding Joy needed. His soul tumbled into her even as she fell into him.

Cade groaned--a deep rumble that vibrated in Joy's chest. His shaft tapped at Joy's deepest place, and she clamped, thrashed, and then clamped again. Tension wound in her core impossibly tight.

"Joy." Cade's voice was as strained as Joy felt. "You have to come, now. I can't hold back." Ecstasy etched Cade's face. "You're paradise. I can't stop myself."

Paradise. Joy arched so hard her spine threatened to snap. Her work-shirt-clad breasts pressed into Cade's face. Paradise was home. She was home. Every muscle in Joy's body quaked with the force cinching it down. She pinioned herself and ground. Cade swelled within her. The voltage in Joy's core overloaded.

"Cade!" Cade's name was Joy's last conscious thought for quite some time.

WTF

Joy

Joy ducked her head over her keyboard. The curtain of her hair hid the smile that played with her lips. For the eighth time in the past fifteen minutes, the image of Cade's billfold contents spread out across the counter to dry flit across her third eye. She could not help but remember why all his Benjamins had become chlorine-bleached.

"Okay, let's try this team," Randi said to the lift operators who'd been recruited to test the new Summit Lift. "The lift has stalled--overloaded. The primary has failed. Let's fire up the secondary and see how that functions."

Chatting to one another, the ski patrol operators browsed a handful of HMI screens. They called the operator on the top of the mountain and fired up the diesel backup with the punch of a few buttons. In another minute or so, they had the chair in operation without the need for consulting Joy. Startup was going smoother than imagined. The electricians were just standing around at the ready, Steve was playing with his phone and Don was watching from where he leaned against the back wall.

Cade nudged Joy. "Hey, what y' thinking?" He pulled up a folding chair so close their thighs and shoulders touched.

Joy rolled her eyes. She looked away. The smile that had been ghosting her lips blossomed. She leaned into Cade's ear. "About the hot tub." Joy hoped nobody heard.

"Yeah. That was kind of wild. I'm afraid my boots might shrink."

Wild didn't cover the half of it. "Your boots? What about my boots? I've had them for what? A week? At least they weren't the Corral boots you bought me."

"I would've bought y' more."

"That's not the point, Cade. They're like Christian Louboutin for cowgirls. You don't throw Louboutin in a hot tub and hope it doesn't shrink." Joy shot Cade a glance from the corner of her eye. A smile teased her lips when he seemed lost for an answer. She switched gears. "So what made you become an engineer, Cade?"

Cade gnawed a lip. Joy's gaze zeroed in. Something hot and slick wormed its way through her core. "I'm not entirely sure. My mom claims she always saw it in me. She tells this story where she, my dad, and my sister were trying to figure out how this under-the-counter knife rack was supposed to work when the knives didn't want to sit in it. I apparently glanced at it and said, 'Flip them over.' I was like seven. Mom says she knew then that I was an engineer. I just think I looked at the problem differently."

"That's not a bad trait to have."

"No it isn't. But does it make me an engineer? Most engineers, at least those I know, work methodically towards a solution when presented with a problem. Sometimes--most times--I just look at a problem and I see a solution. I don't know how I got there. I just did. When I have to explain it to someone else, I have to work backwards to the problem. When the solution doesn't just present itself, I have a hard time not getting lost."

"That sounds a lot like intuition."

"I know, right? Not a trait associated with engineers--although designers... artists..." Cade's dreamy gaze wandered into a realm that might've been populated by fairies and dragons. He came back with a visible flinch. "What about you?"

"Well... when I was in high school, ready for college, I didn't really know what I wanted to do. I couldn't imagine not going to college, but I couldn't imagine spending all that money with no clear destination either. A Bachelors of No Applicable Job didn't interest me and I couldn't really see myself going to school long enough to get a PhD. Those two criteria really limited my options. I had this uncle on my mom's side that was an engineer. He suggested I take a few exploratory classes. Test my aptitude. I did." Joy's cheeks heated. She twisted her hands in her lap. A lot of guys she dated were threatened by her abilities. "I did well. Really well. I loved it. And well--" Joy shrugged. "--here I am."

"Here you are." Cade's eyes glowed. There was admiration in his tone. Joy could feel another smile coming on.

"I think that's it," Randi said loud enough to draw Joy's attention. "I think we're done."

Joy's attention dropped to her notes. She'd made an impromptu list of the functions to be tested and she'd checked them off as they'd gone. Most were checked multiple times. "Did we test the emergency stop function? Electric and diesel?" She'd checked the electric off.

"We did. Do we need to run through it again?"

"I--" Steve scowled at Joy. He was bored, impatient and looking for reasons to find fault with her. Joy cringed. "--wouldn't mind seeing the diesel e-stop. If you wouldn't mind?" Randi turned to the ski patrol operators. Steve mouthed something that looked like, "Pay attention, bitch." Shame flared through Joy. But she really couldn't call him on it. She had been distracted.

The operators fired up the diesel. The chair lift started. An e-stop was initiated. All systems halted. All breaks activated. Joy checked it off her list.

Randi looked at her. "Good?"

"Great!" Joy put as much cheer into her voice as she could muster. She gave Randi a thumbs up but kept her head low. She caught Steve's rolling eyes anyhow.

"Does that mean we're done?" Don pushed off the back wall. He'd been present all day, but his support had been more moral than practical. "Is Moose Mountain ready to take ownership?"

"I will make that recommendation," Randi said. "With grooming and avalanche safety, we won't be able to open the summit to the public for a few days yet, but it'll be open well before the rush. Management should be happy."

Steve perked up. "Does that mean MMI will get its bonus?"

A furrow carved itself on Don's forehead. His words were measured. His tone thoughtful. "If Moose Mountain is generous with Allen-Bradley, we'll be generous with MMI." Don's gaze flit to Joy. "Even given the business climate, you were ill-prepared, but you sent your best. We'll acknowledge that." To Randi, Don said, "Any chance you can call Mr. Branson, let him know our status?"

"Certainly." Randi clapped a hand on the shoulder of one of the ski patrol operators. "Good job. Let's call it a day." There was quite a bit of chair banging and shuffling as people filed from the room. Cade stepped out to congratulate the electricians. Steve lingered behind.

"You're really not coming in on Monday?" Steve's voice was muted--unhappy.

"Steve, I need a vacation. I haven't had a week off in two years."

"So you're just going to take two now, never mind how bad it looks?"

A silent groan reverberated in Joy's chest. "It only looks bad to you. And it only looks bad to you because you're putting your nose where it doesn't belong."

"MMI is my business."

"But Cade and I are not! Getting the time off I deserve, that I am treated fairly, is!"

Steve's expression turned stony. "Okay. You've made your point. Don't expect a round of applause when you get back." He turned his back on her and marched from the room.

Stress pressured Joy's forehead. She massaged her temples. Irritation ricocheted about her nerves. Post-New Year's was so going to suck. Joy's phone chose that moment to ring. Joy groaned.

"Hey, Mom."

"Hi, why the sad voice? Where's your Christmas cheer?"

Joy pinched the bridge of her nose and tipped her head back. "It's been a long day, Mom." Starting two minutes ago.

"Well, I've got something to cheer you up. We're doing Secret Santa again this year, an' you drew your Aunt Isabell. Your Grandma and I decided we'd institute a gift spending limit of a hundred bucks, so--"

So they were doing this now. Joy had been putting it off. She squeezed her eyes closed and counted to three. Her mother's voice carried on in the background.

"Mom--" There was a plaintive note in Joy's voice that even she could hear. Her mom's nattering cut off midstream. "--I'm not coming home for Christmas."

The line grew so silent Joy might've been able to hear a pin drop on Mars.

"You're not coming home for Christmas." The words were delivered in a tone that, had Joy been in the same room with her, she might've feared for her life.

"I'm taking a vacation."

"Where? Why does that mean you won't be home for Christmas?"

"I'm staying in Quaking and skiing."

"You can ski in Washington." It sounded as though blood dripped from her mom's voice.

"Yeah. But not like here. I've got a room at the resort. A free pass." Joy grew excited. "Powder like you wouldn't believe, Mom. Utah plates say, 'Best Snow on Earth,' and it's true!"

"It has to do with that man." Her mother said man like it had an extra letter. "The one in Utah, or Idaho, or wherever it is he's from."

"So--" Joy dragged out the word. "--you wanted me to find a man. I have."

"You were supposed to find a man at home, Joy. There's a whole city of them here in Seattle. Pick one of them. If he loved you, he'd let you come home."

"Mom, it doesn't work like that. I didn't pick him. I just--" Joy fumbled for words. "Fate just--Life happened. 'Kay? Besides, if you loved me, you'd let me leave."

"It works exactly like that," her mother said. "You pick who you love, Joy."

"Well, I pick Cade. Okay?" Joy began pacing the empty control room. "And I'm going to stay with him as long as I can and right now, that means I'm not coming home for Christmas."

Judgment petrified her mom's tone. "You're being selfish, Joy. Think of your family." Guilt hammered Joy.

"Mom." Her mother's name was soft, strained and full of pain. Joy scrubbed her nose. Her sinuses liquefied.

"Come home. Find a man at home. You belong at home, honey, not somewhere halfway across the continent."

"I can't." Joy's words were small--defeated. It had never actually been about a man or grandbabies. It'd been about control. Once upon a time, Joy had failed spectacularly, and now her mom needed control of her baby.

"Why not?" Her tone had grown sharp once more.

"Because I love him."

Minutes stretched. A wet, laden sigh sounded from the far end of the line. "Fine. I'll remove your name from the Secret Santa, so don't expect a gift."

Joy sniffed. "Thanks, Mom. I'll come see you after New Year's. I'll--I'll cook you and Dad dinner or something. I love you. Tell Dad I love him too." Joy's hopes rose and fell with her breath. "Mom?" She checked her phone. The line was dead. A strangled sob ripped from Joy's throat.

A door banged. Joy turned towards the sound to find Cade--his visage stricken. "Everything okay?"

Joy took a hesitant step towards him. Her body quaked. "No." She felt herself go weak. She began to sink.

Two swift strides and Cade caught her. He drew Joy to his chest. He banded his arms about her. "What happened?"

"Everyone--no one--" Joy sucked in a wet, shaky breath. "Steve's mad. Mom's mad."

Cade stroked her hair. "Why? Is it because they want y' to come home?"

He knew. He understood. "Yeah."

"Do you want to?" Cade's voice was low, gentle, zero accusation.

"I--" Joy's voice quaked like an aspen leaf. "--don't know. Ever since my breakdown at P&C, Mom's been so... Steve says..." Joy tucked her head into the crook of Cade's neck. She inhaled his scent and vacuumed a grounding breath. "At home, I'm ruining everyone's holiday--Mom's holiday. At work, I'm not being a team player--hurting my career. I've probably blown whatever raise I had." Joy fell silent. The rise and fall of Cade's breath and the drumming of his pulse played a soothing melody for Joy's ears.

"Joy--" This close, Joy could feel the reverb in his throat. "--if you need to go, go."

"You--" Joy leaned back--not far enough to escape Cade's arms but far enough to meet his eyes. "--you don't want me here?"

"I do--" Pain fractured his face. "--want you here. But..."

Joy could feel Cade's heart hammering against her breast. "But what?"

"What I want--" Cade's thumb massaged that spot between Joy's shoulder blades that was so hard to reach. "--is what you want. I want what's best for you--" Cade cleared his throat of the cement that sounded as though it were setting up in his chest. "--and I can't decide that. Only you can decide that. Yes, I want you with me, but not if that means there'll be less of you. I--" He paused. "That doesn't sound right, but it is right." Within the circle of her arms, Cade seemed to swell with strength. "If you being with me means there is less of you, I will not take that from you."

A cool, radiant light seemed to wash through Joy's flesh. Her skin shivered. Pressure built in her chest and heat pooled in her core. "Cade--" She exhaled on a sigh. "--why you?"

Cade gifted Joy a perplexed expression. "Why me, what?"

"Why, of everyone who claims to have my best interests at heart, are you the only one who'll let me go?"

"Because I couldn't live knowing I had made you a lesser you."

Joy pressed her lips to his. She tasted him--his lips, his teeth, his tongue. She hooked a thigh over his hip. She riveted her arms about him. Her core turned molten, liquefying. She rocked her softened sex against the swollen seam of his jeans.

"Please keep me," Joy whispered. She wasn't quite sure what she was asking. For now? For today? For the week? Forever?

Cade's arms banded so tight Joy's shoulders hurt. Still, they were not tight enough.

"Please," Joy begged. She hitched her other leg over his hip. He walked her into a wall. Pressure pressed into Joy as though it meant to obliterate the jeans that separated them. Joy shuddered.

"Please. Please. Please." Joy still didn't understand what she was trying to communicate. Was she asking for forever? Would he know? Would he understand? Their kiss broke. Her head lulled. Rough, five o'clock, sandpaper whiskers and lips tickled down the column of Joy's throat. Her buttons were coming undone--or she was coming undone--she wasn't sure.

"Please." She was pleading.

Cade's hands were on her. On her skin. Under her bralette. Hot on her breast. Thumbing her nipples. Kneading. Joy's head hit the wall. She slipped from Cade's hips. Her feet slapped the floor. She arched and pushed her breasts against his hands. Hot breath, sandpaper stubble, and soft lips in the center of her cleavage.

"Cade!" Joy grabbed his head--her fingers threading through his hair. "Please!" Did she? Was she? Here?

Joy pushed Cade lower. Stubble burn scored over her belly. His tongue flicked a quick caress around her belly button. Fingers were at her belt. The breath of air across her crease when he unzipped her fanned flames. Joy spiraled higher and her thighs slicked. Cade kissed lower.

His tongue landed right on that bud at the top of her crease. His tongue flattened. Joy's eyes rolled up. Her ass slammed into the wall. Sparks appeared behind her eyelids. Cade swirled clockwise.

"Oh. My. God." Joy's fingers curled into fists within Cade's hair. He stripped her pants and thong down to her knees. "Oh my." She heaved a quaking breath. "Oh God. My God." The utterances were no louder than a gentle breeze. Arcs--mini explosions clenched Joy's every muscle in an uneven stutter. He switched directions. "Cade." A hand, warm but rough, was between her thighs. Another massaged her ass. Joy's pitch climbed in register. "My God. My--" Cade sucked on Joy's nub. "--Cade!"

Joy's core released. She bucked. Cade rode her through it. She didn't come down. She couldn't come down. He slicked his fingers over her weeping slit. His thumb parted her folds and worked its way in.

Cade groaned. The sound vibrated on Joy's clit. Joy arched--her tendons as taunt as drawstrings. The reverb in his utterance had Joy climbing a second peak. "My God. Please. Cade. Cade. Cade." Joy began to babble.

"So lovely," Cade said right to her center. Joy tried not to melt--to hold back something--it was not a battle she could hope to win. Cade's thumb pushed into the back wall of her sex. Joy arched further. She pushed her feminine lips at him. A second finger, slick with her passions, bounced off her back door.

An involuntary jerk and Joy ripped at Cade's hair.

"Is this okay?" A brief pressure on her star again. Arcs zipped and sparked in all of Joy's erogenous zones. Rational thought short-circuited.

"Joy?"

Another pressure. More sparks. A hasty, ragged breath. Thunderous heartbeats drummed in her ears. Joy tried not to scream. "Yes!"

The finger returned with a feather touch. It circled in a counterpoint direction to Cade's tongue. Joy arched once more. She went up on her toes. Her fingers tore from his hair and scrambled across the wall behind her. They cinched on the control cabinet. A condulet. Anything to find a temporary anchor. Unable to find Earth, Joy clamped around Cade's thumb. A lightning bolt of pleasure ripped through her. The dam burst. Joy's core shattered again.

And Cade kept riding her right through it. She was too sensitive. She didn't want him off. She wanted him closer. Joy needed him closer. She pushed herself into him. The pressure on her backdoor became greater.

"Is this okay? Do you want me to push it in?"

Did she? Would he? Her nipples were harder than diamonds. Her clit had a heartbeat of its own. Little explosions of pleasure blossomed randomly throughout her body. Was she that girl?

"Yes."

Joy went up on the tips of her steel-toed boots. She knocked her head against the wall. Her hands anchored on whatever they could find that wouldn't move.

"Yes. Yes."

The pressure increased in her tail. Joy clawed higher. Higher than the previous two orgasms. Higher than the two most intense orgasms of her life. She climbed to an impossible height--a Mt. Rainier height. The abyss yawned before her. She climbed higher still.

Cade massaged the flesh between his thumb and forefinger.

"Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God, Cade." Joy's body went rigid. Her lungs heaved like punctured billows. She could not climb any higher up the wall or the precipice.

"What! The! Fuck?"

Joy's eyes snapped open. Cade's lips popped off her clit. His hand jerked from between her thighs. He jumped to his feet to shield her from view. Multiple inputs assaulted Joy's sanity.

"Steve!" Joy choked on her boss's name. Orgasm slammed into her with the force of an exploding star. Joy hurtled over the edge of the abyss.

Blackmail

Joy

"Steve!" Joy choked on her boss' name. Orgasm slammed into Joy with the force of a meteorite. Cade was like a wall before her. She clutched at his shirt while fleshquakes tore through her. Her job--her career--her life flashed before her eyes. Joy sobbed her humiliation into the back of Cade's shirt. Even before the sexquake had stopped, she was clawing her pants up her slicked thighs. Until she stilled, the buttons of her shirt proved too much for her trembling fingers.

A phone camera clicked.

A thunder god roar issued from Cade's chest. "Hey! You can't do that!" He rocked forward--his fists clenched. Cade checked himself before exposing Joy.

"Evidence," Steve growled. "It's not going to be my word against hers. HR will swallow any lie out of a bitch's mouth over the truth from a man's. I'm surprised you don't know that." His thumbs were dancing over the phone.

"You will delete that--" A hurricane would've sounded less threatening. "--or I'll delete it for you."

"Relax. It wasn't pornographic. Just enough for evidence." Steve held up his phone, the photo fully displayed. Just enough of Joy peeked out from behind Cade's body block to be damning. The hot tide of humiliation that washed over Joy threatened to drown her in a cesspool of shame. "Are you going to add assault and theft to your slut's problems?"

The moment Joy had fully covered herself, Cade bull-rushed Steve. Joy's hand on Cade's collar might've been the only thing that'd prevented fists from flying.

"Cade--" Joy shook her head. "--don't." Joy's gaze pinballed around the room, avoiding Cade's.

"Look. I even deleted it, slut--" Steve said, his tone oddly sing-song. He waved his phone at them once more. "--now that I've sent it to HR."

Cade's face took on the color of molten lava. The cords of his neck tensed like baling wire. His fists compressed as tight as granite. "She's not a slut." Cade's voice was low. The danger that radiated from Cade put the devil to shame. Steve fell back a step. His hand sought the exit.

"Cade--" Joy's fingers trailed over Cade's jaw. She had no hope of holding him back if he charged. "--please don't make this even tougher than it has to be."

Cade's fury grounded through Joy. He visibly shook.

Steve stepped out. Upon the threshold, he said, "Don't bother reporting to work on Monday, slut."

Cade lunged. Joy anchored herself to Cade's arm. She slowed him just enough for Steve to make it to his skis.

"Cade. Cade! You can't fix this! We can't fix this." Joy's words reverberated within her own brain. Hope, happiness and joy shattered like tempered glass within Joy's heart. She'd cratered her career again because she couldn't make good decisions around a man. "We can't fix this." Tears boiled tracks down her cheeks. "We can't fix this."

Her words must've penetrated Cade's rage. He drew up short of murdering Steve. He tried to meet her eyes, but she dodged away. Worry flitted across Cade's face before it cooled like iron. "What do you mean?" There was a concerned note in his voice but a frightened one as well.

"I mean--" Joy let go of Cade's arm. Her eyes sought her boots. She began to pace. "--we can't fix this."

"You said that." Cade's tone chilled Joy like a plunge in the Puget Sound.

Joy's hands flit about her. "I mean--" She heaved a breath that felt as heavy as her heart. "My career is ruined. I got fired. He'll probably black-list me."

"That's illegal."

"And how would I prove it?" Joy blushed so hot she sunburned. "Ask my prospective employer if they got my photo? I can't live this down."

"Listen, Joy. You're a good engineer. I see that. Don sees that. Steve sees that. You said it yourself. He's afraid that if MMI has you, they don't need him."

A flicker illuminated Joy's heart. The part of her ego that feared hope promptly doused it under a bucket of snow melt. "You're talking out of your ass."

"Don't you see? He puts you down because you're better than him."

"I got fired, Cade." Joy's lacerated heart bled with its every beat. Joy started collecting her gear. Skiing down with a laptop, prints, backpack library and all of her safety gear was going to be awkward. Joy should've left the prints for others to worry about but couldn't make herself do it--not after Marina. Joy wedged her feet into her ski boots. It took a bit of work to balance her Red Wings with all the other gear.

"We don't have to take everything at once," Cade said.

"I'm--" A sob ripped from Joy's throat. "--not coming back." She dropped her boots. The rest of her load teetered as she tried to rebalance them. Cade tried to take some of it from her, but Joy clutched it to her chest. The need to flee was overwhelming. She moved to the door.

"I'm sure we can leave it for the night if you're not up for another run. We can fetch it tomorrow."

"Cade! I'm going home." The words came out sharp--bitter. Joy shoved through the door, clattered down the short stairs and kicked over her skies. She slammed her ski boots into her bindings.

"Joy, wait!" Cade reached for her. "Take a breath. Slow down." It dawned on Joy that her breaths were coming in sharp gasps around her barely contained sobs. Tears burned hot trails down her cheeks.

"I've got contacts--friends. We can get you a job. Even in Seattle if you want." Cade's words flowed from him in a rush. Joy heard fear in his tone. "They won't care about an indiscretion. Everyone makes errors. They'll care if you can do the job. I'll make sure they know you can do the job."

"Cade!" Joy screamed. "Stop!" She met Cade's eyes for the first time since Steve had walked in on them. Cade was the last person on Earth Joy wanted to hurt, but she needed someone, anyone, to understand her pain. Cade was the closest target. "You can't fix this. We can't fix this! We can't fix us!" Her final sentence was a scream.

Cade flinched as though hit. "Joy--" His voice came out strangled. It didn't matter that her words had been true. It didn't matter that their affair was over. The hurt Joy had intentionally inflicted radiated back at her from Cade's face. Swallowing razor blades would've been preferable. This time, when she lost her grip on her Red Wing work boots, Joy abandoned them. She pushed off with her skies and fled down the mountain.

Cade caught up to her, kicking off her skies in front of the rental return. Without a word, he returned Joy's boots. She'd been prepared to race up to their room in her socks.

"Return these--" Pain tightened a fist about Joy's throat and she was unable to finish the sentence.

Cade nodded--his face no more expressive than a block of basalt. Without lacing her boots, Joy fled for their--his--room. Burdened by returning her skies, Joy had shoved the leavings of her time with Cade in her duffle bag before he made it to the room. Joy'd spent her entire adult life focused on being a success. A hundred years ago, female success might've been finding a good man. But Joy'd been told, career, mentor and boss.

And not by just one person. Her friends had told her that. Her professors had told her that. Her college advisor had told her that. The professional organizations that she belonged to, SWE and ASME, had told her that.

She'd struck out on mentor--by dating James. She'd struck out on boss--by dating Cade. All she had left was career. She could not strike out on that.

Unable to look at him, Joy buried her nose in her phone. "I've snagged a flight. Taxi'll be here in five. Thank you for--" A sob threatened. Joy gulped it down in much the manner one might've eaten broken glass. "--everything." Joy hefted her bag. She wrestled its weight towards freedom.

Cade intercepted her. Without a word, he relieved Joy of the duffle bag and slung its anchor weight over his shoulder like it was no more than a handbag. He pivoted on a heel and marched from the room, leaving Joy to scamper like a lost puppy in his wake.

"The taxi is to pick me up here," Joy said as they exited the lobby. Cade ignored her. He strode out from under the portico toward his 4Runner.

"Cade! The taxi's pulling in."

Cade lengthened his stride. Joy had to trot in order to catch up. The trunk of his 4Runner popped and he tossed her bag in. He slammed the tailgate before she could reach it.

Anger threatened--it was almost a relief after the pain pumping through her veins. "Cade, I have a taxi!"

"You don't need a taxi." Cade's words were calm, his voice even, but they might've been stamped in steel for all the flexibility Joy heard in them. He climbed in his 4Runner and fired it up. One pointed look and Joy scrambled into the passenger seat beside him.

The drive out of the mountains took too long. Joy pressed her cheek into the chill of the passenger window, wishing she might cease to exist. Cade might as well have been struck dumb for all the words he uttered. The silence stretched to eternity. Yet, somehow, Cade was handing Joy her duffle bag at the airport's departure curb before she was ready.

"Cade..." Joy's voice trailed off. How did she say goodbye forever and forever goodbye when she couldn't imagine ten seconds of life without the man before her? Heartbeats hammered by, but no words came.

Cade eventually said, "Goodbye." He turned to go.

Joy began to shake. "Cade--" Her voice was only a whisper. "Kiss me."

A glacier might've moved more than Cade did in that moment.

"Please?"

Cade pivoted in place. Neither he nor she could meet each other's eyes. Still, he reached for her. Their lips met.

Relief. Warmth. Comfort washed through Joy. Cade tasted like, he felt like, home. Like home was supposed to feel. Joy wrapped herself as tightly in Cade as was humanly possible. She never wanted to let go.

But she had to. She could not fix this. Joy ripped herself from Cade's embrace. She tripped over the curb. She staggered a stride. Blinded by tears, Joy caught up her duffle bag and ran.

***

The battle for consciousness was uphill. But the blaring bleep of the alarm would not let Joy slide back into the oblivion she so desperately craved. Why wasn't Cade getting the alarm? Why had they set an alarm?

Joy blindly slapped a hand down on the nightstand. Her fingers clipped the digital clock and knocked it aside. She groped about. Found the offensive device and silenced it. Face down in her pillow, Joy reached her other hand for Cade. Even after just a few days, she was addicted to waking beside him. Her questing fingers did not find him.

"Cade?"

Joy pried open a sleep-gummed eye. Diffuse, Seattle-gray light filtered in through her east-facing window. The colorless light illuminated the floral print comforter on her bed. Even before the import fully registered, pain sliced like a butcher knife to the heart. Joy jerked into a protective ball as a cry tore from her throat. Her humiliation. Her job. Her career. They were serrated blades slicing her soul. But nothing--nothing--hurt as bad as goodbye. Joy squeezed her eyes shut, trying to will herself out of existence.

A knock came upon her apartment door. "Joy. Joy! Are you okay?" Through the fog of her pain, Joy recognized Sabrina's voice. She called from the stairwell landing. The knock sounded a second time. "What am I saying? Of course you're not okay. I could hear you crying all the way out here. I'm coming in. I'm using my key, 'kay." The lock rattled.

Joy sat up. She hastily scrubbed her eyes. Not that it could've done any good. She barely remembered getting home. She'd not stripped her clothes before falling comatose on her bed. Not only were her eyes and nose runny, but her mascara must've been a mess. Her clothes were frumpy. Her hair a rat's nest. Joy tried to call out to Sabrina to beg for a moment. A choked noise was all that came out.

The apartment door opened. Sabrina, dressed for the gym, popped in. She didn't even scan the apartment before her eyes landed on Joy through the open bedroom door.

Sabrina's clutch dropped. "Sunshine." She leaped forward and caught Joy in a hug. Whether to comfort Joy or to prop Joy up before Joy collapsed to the floor was hard to tell. Joy sank into her friend's embrace, but the warmth, support and love could not beat back the pain making mincemeat of her heart.

Sabrina stroked Joy's tresses down her back. She absently teased a tangle free. "Sunshine, Joy, what happened?"

Joy's lips parted, but no words came. She gulped down a strangled breath and tried a second time. "I left him. I left--" Joy choked. "--Cade."

Sabrina's embrace tightened. Heartbeats hammered out the time. Going by the pain in her chest, Joy should've bled to death.

"Okay. May I ask why? What did he do?"

Do? What did he do? Joy shifted within the cage of Sabrina's embrace. Sabrina eased her grip, permitting Joy to escape if she wished.

A rain-drenched laugh escaped Joy's lips. She sounded like a maniac to her own ears. He hadn't done anything--except try to support her, misguided though he might've been--and drive her insane with desire until she made mad, rash decisions. "He didn't do anything."

"Then..." Sabrina enunciated the word as a slow, musical fermata. The question was evident in Sabrina's voice.

"I--" The Darth Vader stranglehold on her throat choked Joy. "--got fired."

"What? Why? And what's that have to do with--"

"I was--we were--Steve caught..." Humiliation rose like a tsunami within Joy. She couldn't continue.

"Steve caught you what, making out?"

"Yes--" If Cade French kissing her crease could be considered making out. "--no."

"Being into a guy is not a crime."

The dark void within Joy's chest expanded. She pushed from Sabrina's embrace, curled up on the bed and buried her face in her hands. "We were on the job site. We'd thought--we'd thought everyone'd left. My pants were around my ankles and Cade's tongue was--was not in my mouth."

"Oh," Sabrina said. "Oh!" She sank down on the bed beside Joy.

"I ruined my career."

There was a beat of silence. Joy's terror climbed. "That's not true," Sabrina finally said. But Joy felt the tremor in Sabrina's fingers as they moved to comfort her. Human contact was too much. Joy's sobs burst free once more.

"So why did you--" Sabrina's hand stroked from Joy's neck to that difficult-to-reach spot between her shoulder blades. "Why did you end it with Cade?"

Joy rolled over and curled up beside Sabrina. Sabrina's arms banded about Joy as she leaned into her.

Sabrina's voice sounded every bit as choked up as Joy's had. "Joy. Sunshine. If you're making rash decisions and hurting this bad, you're into him. Why did you end it?"

Joy felt as though she'd swallowed a mouthful of razorblades. "I was humiliated. Steve got a picture and sent it to HR. How can I--" Joy sobbed. "--how can I be with him, with anyone, if I make such messed up decisions? It was that way with James, too."

Joy felt and heard Sabrina's sharp intake.

"Oh, Sunshine." Heartbeats cycled. "It was not this way with James." Sabrina's words sounded careful. "You weren't that into James."

"But--" Joy sniffed. "--I still made bad decisions. I dated my boss. I got dumped. I lost my heart and then my job. This can't keep happening."

"But you love him."

Joy pushed away from Sabrina. Joy's words came out sharper than she intended. "Sabrina! I can't fix this. I can't. Please--please just help me--" Joy choked. "--move on."

Sabrina searched Joy's eyes. "Okay." Her gaze softened. Sadness radiated off her. "What do you need?"

"A job. Will you help me find a job? A good job?"

"Of course." Sabrina put on her proverbial project manager hat. "Let's start by defining 'good job.'"

Best for Me

Joy

Joy parked her old Subaru into the space closest to MMI's doors. It was dark outside, and the outer doors of the office were still locked. But the lights were on. That gave Joy pause. She'd hoped to keep her walk of shame to a minimum.

Joy let herself in. The lobby was vacant, but she could hear voices from Theo's office. Ducking her head, Joy hurried to her cubicle. She erected the small moving box she'd brought from her apartment. Joy's personal items were primarily limited to a few photos, a framed copy of her license and some emergency personal care. Most of the moving box was filled with reference materials from her college days.

"Ms. Hauk--"

Joy's head whipped up. She'd lost herself staring at the license she'd worked so hard to get. Now her achievement felt empty.

"--might I speak to you in my office?"

The HR manager's voice was stiff, her expression inscrutable, albeit weary. Normally sporting casual wear, she wore her pantsuit like armor.

"Laura--er--Mrs. Ashhurst--" There was only one thing the request could be about. "--um, okay, sure." Joy followed Laura to her office. As HR, Laura was the only woman in the company to actually have a door, which she shut.

"Do you want to explain what happened?" Laura tapped her phone, but she didn't bring up the picture.

A hot, clawing, acidic fist strangled Joy's esophagus. She'd thought she'd been ready; it wasn't like she hadn't expected this, but her stomach heaved. Suddenly, she wished she'd been able to choke down something, anything, for breakfast. Seconds slipped by as she tried to find her voice. Apparently, she waited too long.

"Joy," Laura said, "MMI cannot condone such activity. It's not professional. It's not like you."

Anger seared a path from Joy's brain to her heart, where it detonated in her chest. "Not like me? Not like me! How would you know? How would anyone in this office know?" Joy tried to bank the fire, but her blood boiled hotter than a molten steel quench. "I spend more time in the field than any three other people in the office! I have to beg for vacation and usually don't get it. I'm picked on in meetings. People ignore my ideas. I'm the only PE who doesn't actually get to engineer anything--or have a door. Everyone, anyone, but me gets credit for my work. I'm on the road so often I don't have a life and can't make one because I'm always working. So when I bump into the greatest guy on the planet at work, I make poor decisions and get down at work because I'm always at work!" It was all Joy could do to keep from screaming her final words. "And I'm being fired because, for the past two years, I've given MMI everything!"

Laura looked uncomfortable. She shifted in her seat. Joy should've quit. She needed to quit. She didn't quit. Her mouth kept running.

"And what's up with our name? Man-machine interface was politically incorrect in the nineties! Is it really that hard to change? Be a little more inclusive? Every vendor and even the most bigoted prick engineers have been saying HMI for at least two decades now."

"Look, Joy, I know as well as any woman this isn't the most... inclusive of workplaces. But this isn't about your work environment. It's about your choices."

"But my choices are a consequence of our environment." Joy pinched the bridge of her nose. "No. That's not right." Joy heaved an agitated breath. "Look, I'm not trying to get off the hook. What I did was my choice. I'm not trying to defend myself. I couldn't keep my hands off him. That was not professional. Maybe I was trying to get fired. But you've got to look at this place and the culture. Make it better for the next woman because she might actually be mature enough that she doesn't let all the harassment that goes on here slide."

Laura bowed her head. She was silent a long time. Finally, she raised her gaze and squared her shoulder. "As you've surmised, MMI, Inc. is letting you go. We are prepared to pay out your remaining vacation as well as a prorated portion of next year's vacation. Also, normally, we'd pay you a percentage of the anticipated bonus, but there will be no bonus this year." Laura slid a manila envelope across the desk. "For your convenience, we've included your employment at will and the non-compete clause you signed at the beginning of your tenure. There's also information as to when you should receive your final pay. We won't announce your departure until the morning team meetings, but you'll likely want to be gone before the bulk of our employees show up."

Our employees. Not coworkers. How fast Joy'd been kicked to the curb.

"You'll need to return your company equipment to me. Company records show you have a laptop, software keys, AR-clothing and a phone. I'll need the laptop, keys and phone today. We can make arrangements if you need to drop off your AR-clothing later this week."

"My phone?" It wasn't really a shock, Joy knew it belonged to the company, but it felt like one. "Can I keep my number?"

"Unfortunately, no."

Joy's hand with her, MMI's, phone hovered over Laura's desk. "What about my contacts?"

Laura closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. When she opened her eyes, her expression was flat. "Contacts acquired while working for MMI, Inc. belong to the company. For convenience, personal contacts may be stored on company devices but should be marked as such and backed up elsewhere. All personal contacts will be deleted upon company recall of a device." Laura's tone suggested she was quoting the employee handbook.

Joy wasn't worried about Sabrina or her mom. Between them, she could recover most of her contacts. She'd already included Don Walkingshaw's contact information with her resume references.

But Cade--fear's icy spear lanced her chest. Joy placed the phone on Laura's desk. She pried her fingers open. She yanked back her hand so as not to show Laura how badly her fingers shook. She'd ended it with Cade. It was best that she and he not be able to contact each other. She knew that. She'd told herself that a million times already. So why did it feel like she'd stepped into the vacuum of space?

"I, uh, is that all?"

"Yes." Laura sounded tired--and resigned. It was not even business hours yet.

Joy rose to leave.

"Joy," Laura said. "It was good having you here. Not just another woman, but you, specifically. You will be missed. I will be sure to pass your observations on."

Joy's eyes stung. She'd not made up her eyes that morning for exactly that reason. "Thank you." She fled.

Back in her cubicle, Joy cycled several meditative breaths. She did a quick check to make sure she wasn't leaving anything indispensable behind and left her laptop and software keys on her desk for Laura to collect. She stepped from her cubicle only to find Steve blocking her escape.

Steve adopted a smug, self-aggrandizing posture. "Before you go, drafting has some questions about your chicken scratch redlines."

The banding of Joy's restraint snapped. "Eff off, Steve." She shifted the box to her hip in order to flip him the birdie. Chairs banged as several heads popped up over cubicle partitions in order to glimpse the show. Joy could already hear the gossip in her head. "Out of my way, dickwad." She used his own favorite descriptor against him. Shock sounded its cacophonous tones from all corners of the office. Joy powered past Steve and marched for the lobby.

"Don't turn your back on me, b--"

Theo raised an eyebrow at Steve. His gaze turned to Joy. "Ms. Hauk, it'd please me if you'd grace me with a few minutes of your time. I promise to make it as painless as possible."

Joy paused in the entryway.

"Laura said you had some insightful, heartfelt remarks. This... unpleasantness does not rest squarely on your shoulders. It rests on MMI's, and mine, as well. I would learn from it, from you, if I am able."

Joy gnawed her lip. "'Okay," she said. She hefted the box in her hands and backed into the door's crash bar. "Let me take care of this first."

Steve was in Theo's open door when Joy returned from her car. Steve was rattling off a litany of Joy's failures at a volume that begged every ear within the company to eavesdrop. Inside the office, Theo clutched the door as though he wished to slam it. Cold war was written in his posture and expression.

"Enough, Steve. I have a guest."

"I caught her red-handed, Theo. I have pictures!"

"Enough!" The cold war had just thawed. Even though the blast had been directed at Steve, Joy shrank back. "Get to work! Your team is a ma--person short, which means you need to make up the slack."

Steve whirled. His shoulder smashed into Joy's as he stalked past.

Theo ran a hand through his graying hair. The nuclear conflagration in his posture banked but did not go out. He gestured to Joy and closed the door in her wake.

"Sorry about that." Theo heaved a heavy breath. He visibly sagged. "I think I can make a good guess as to some of the things you are going to say." Theo took his seat. "But I'd like to hear it from you because heaven knows I've missed some of it--too much of it--and sat on my hands pretending it wasn't as bad as it looked."

Joy's gaze fell to her hands. She clasped them, flattened them on her thighs and then layered them. Even seated, she didn't know what to do with them. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything, from the beginning--or in whatever order you wish. I want to know your story at MMI--the good, the bad and the ugly. Especially the ugly."

"I don't know what I can say without it sounding like an attack or a defense. I already did that with Laura. I--" Joy played with her hands again. "--er, don't want to do that again. It has a way of turning around and biting me--attacking another always hurts me."

Theo studied Joy, his expression thoughtful. After a pause, he said, "That is mighty self-aware for someone so young, Joy. I know people twice your age don't understand that. Many never do."

"Thank you." Joy's eyes flicked up to meet Theo's. He still looked almost surprised at her insight. Joy's attention dropped back to her hands. Her knuckles had turned white due to their death-grip embrace upon each other. "I think."

"Still, I need to hear your side. Think of this as a... teaching moment. If I hear attack, I promise to remember that I asked this of you."

"Thank you, Theo." Joy paused to think. "Okay, I hired on at MMI a little over two years ago." She proceeded to fill Theo in on her never-ending road trips, being denied benefits other's received despite her PE, fighting for time off, projects dumped in her lap at the eleventh hour, covering others on the team, Steve's comments about bonuses, breastaraunts, motels versus Steve's condos, travel arrangements, expense reports, being singled out in meetings and being labeled a bitch by her boss. She listed every startup she'd participated in, whose projects they'd originally been and at what point she'd been thrown onto, or under, the bus. By the time she was done, Thor's thunderhead scowl might've been softer than Theo's.

"Thank you, Ms. Hauk." Theo's tone might've jackhammered concrete. The steel in his voice was not directed at Joy. "It is clear I cannot make this right, but--" He paused, seemingly shifting gears. "--how much was your expense report? The one for the fire, with your clothes?"

"It's on my laptop. Steve has it."

"Approximately."

"Eleven hundred. That includes the ARC jacket. I... wasn't intending to return it." Joy blurted the last handful of words.

"Keep it." Theo pulled out a checkbook. A minute of scribbling and he passed her a check.

"This is..." Joy said.

"Compensation." Theo suddenly turned red. "And guilt money." He ran his hand through his hair. "Not enough though. I'm not sure there's any amount that would be enough. However, it should be enough to hold you over until you can find another job. I don't expect that you'll have any trouble and it's less than what your bonus should've been. I didn't know you were carrying your team. Perhaps not the whole team, but you were certainly the quarterback."

Steve's words, except in reverse. "I..."

Theo waited for Joy to continue. When she didn't, he said, "I'd understand if you don't want to work for MMI anymore. I wouldn't. But if you do, if you ever do, I understand mistakes. I've made plenty and MMI needs people like you."

Joy swallowed. There was a bright flicker of sunshine in her chest where rain clouds had ruled the day. Theo was trying to make things right. Unfortunately, things had been wrong for far too long. "Thank you, sir." The clouds swallowed the sun once more. "But you're right. I can't work here. The gossip alone will be mortifying."

Theo plucked a card from its holder. He pushed it across his desk towards Joy. "Then I expect you to use me as a reference. I promise it'll be a good one."

Tears stung. "Thank you, sir."

***

It was not quite raining, but it certainly wasn't dry when Joy stepped out of the shop, a new phone in hand. Ducking her head, she sped to her car. Against the backdrop of traffic splashing through the streets, Joy tapped out a text to one of the few contacts her brain could conjure a complete phone number for. Who memorized phone numbers anymore? Boomers? Generation-X? Cade?

Joy squeezed her eyes shut. Everything, absolutely everything, reminded her of him. It was like a computer virus in her brain that had connected Cade to every experience in order to wreck her forever.

Sabrina didn't respond immediately because, well, she, unlike Joy, had a job. Joy tapped out a text to the only other number she could dredge from the flotsam of her Cade-infected brain.

"Hey, Mom. Joy. New number."

The dancing dots materialized immediately. "New number? Why? What's going on?"

Anxiety electrified Joy's nerves like a double espresso shot. It wasn't like she hadn't expected the inquisition. Her mom probably thought the new number had to do with Cade. Joy squeezed her eyes shut and cycled a grounding breath. Might as well get it over with. At least her mom would be ecstatic that she wouldstay in Seattle. That she could resume her matchmaking services until she found out Joy had zero intentions of staying in Seattle.

"Where are you? Can we meet for coffee or something?" Joy did not want to go home. She needed somewhere neutral. Somewhere that was not "Mom's turf." Somewhere Joy could escape if needs be.

"Is there someplace we can meet up?"

"I didn't expect you to be in town."

Joy read a whole guilt-daughter vibe into the words. "Plans change."

"I'm out with Lina and Isa. I'll ditch pilates. Isa's all we got to work on our butts, but your dad likes my butt just fine."

"TMI, Mom."

"Oh, get over yourself. He's your dad. I'm your mom. How do you think you came to be? You're going to be saying these same things someday."

"Not to my children!" God, she hoped not. Joy sent a second text before her mother could respond. "Where can we meet up?"

"I'm in Belleview. How about that coffee shop where we met Steve?" Wink emoji. Wink emoji. "I can be there in 15."

Joy's skull felt as though it might fracture with frustration's pressure. This was going to be so much fun. "Yeah, me too. See you there."

Ten minutes later, Joy was shaking Northwest drizzle off her coat. Starbucks was relatively quiet. It was after the commuter rush and before the lunch rush, so, given the shop's proximity to Seattle, that meant only eighty percent of the tables were taken. The smell of coffee and sugar was divine however, Joy already had enough jitters. She settled for an unsweetened chamomile tea in hopes of soothing the acid in her stomach.

Mom joined Joy before she'd finished her first sip.

"Oh, honey! I'm so glad you are home. I'm glad you dumped that man," Mom said loud enough to draw the attention of everyone in the café.

Joy burned her tongue. Her cheeks flamed even hotter.

Mom dropped in the seat across from Joy, her diatribe never ceasing. "He was no good for you, keeping you away from home for Christmas as he was. You really need to keep your hookups at home. Oh, heavens to Betsy, we already drew the Secret Santa. Well, we'll just have to do that again. You'll come over an' help me clean up the place for the party, won't you? It's just such a big job and--"

"Mom?"

"--I could really use a breather from all this holiday prep. We could make--"

"Mom?" Joy said a little louder. Joy's mother had opened her calendar app on her phone.

"--it a girls' day. I mean, not really. It wouldn't be like going to the spa or anything, but I could make--"

"Mom!"

Mom sputtered. Her fingers froze upon her phone. "What, dear?"

Terror tried to claw its way up into Joy's throat. How was this so hard to say to her mother? "I lost my job. That's why I--er--needed a new phone. The other one belonged to MMI."

Mom blinked. Several seconds slipped by to the backdrop of café chatter. "I'm sorry to hear that, dear," Mom said. Her words came slow, careful. "I know how important it was to you."

Did she?

"Maybe it's a sign."

"A sign of what?" That Cade really was no good for her? That his non-Seattle resident status was really that much of a show breaker?

"That it's time to focus on what's important, finding a man close to home."

"My career is important, Mom."

"Joy, you are thirty-three years old. You don't have a husband. You don't even have a baby."

"I had a shot at that. Another shot. But he didn't live in Seattle, and you--wait, what? A baby before a husband? That's what you want?"

"Of course not, dear. It's just that your--" Mom leaned forward and whispered as though reproduction was some kind of dirty secret while guilting-daughter-in-public hadn't been. "--clock is ticking." She straightened. "Your dad and I--"

"Dad? Dad wants me to single-mother it? Funny. Because those whole shotgun, 'respect my baby or I'll blow your head off' speeches during my prime 'mother before husband' years were mortifying."

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Then why did you--no, wait--" Joy yanked on her mental reigns. "--that's not what I came here to say. Mom, my career is important--to me. And while husband--" Why-oh-why couldn't that have been Cade? "--and baby might be important someday, it's not something I can do anything about today."

Her mom opened her mouth. Joy powered on.

"So, I wanted to tell you. I didn't want it to come as a surprise. I'm looking for a new job. My selection criteria are based on a career opportunity, the type of work I'll be doing and the work environment--specifically, a female-friendly work environment. My priorities do not include location, proximity to you, if the boss is a hunk, or if I think I'll be able to get laid or not! That means that in a few weeks, I might be in Texas or Florida, or wait, maybe Maine is even further from Washington. I need to look for a job in Maine. Because Mom, I love you, but this is my life! I'm going to start living it--for me!"

"But, honey--" There were tears in her mother's voice. "--I only want what's best for you."

"No, Mom," Joy said. She stood up from the table. "Only I can decide what's best for me. Cade told me that. You know, the guy that doesn't live in Seattle. The guy that didn't want to let me go but did because I said I wanted to go." Even though I didn't. "And he was right!" Joy stormed from the store. She wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve.

Joy didn't know if her tears were for her mom, herself or Cade.

Missing Treasure

Cade

Cade's skies chattered. He'd hit the bottom of the slope at out-of-control speeds. Abused quadriceps, abductors and hamstrings burned in complaint as he powered into a braking turn. A rooster tail that topped the trees fanned out in his wake. When Cade righted himself, his entire body shook with the expended effort.

Three days. Three days since Joy'd left him. Three days since she'd said goodbye. Three days of throwing himself down the roughest, most suicidal slopes Cade could find. Three sleepless nights despite the oblivion that should've overtaken his exhausted body.

And in that time, not a single call, single text, single sorry or a single I miss you. Cade's texts, now reaching desperation numbers, had gone unanswered. None of the recent ones had read receipts. His calls went straight to... where... purgatory--because he wasn't even getting voicemail.

Cade turned away from the lift and skated toward the lodge. His abused body threatened to fold during every glide. He burned through the last of his reserves while putting his gear up.

After the largest, greasiest, most calorie-rich meal Cade could purchase at Rocky's, Cade stumbled up to his room. All that remained on the day's agenda was a scalding shower, mind-numbing TV and the prayed-for oblivion of sleep. Cade had learned long ago that whisky was not the answer to pain.

Although, nothing, not even the loss of Heather, had prepared Cade for such a soul-rending experience. He was split in two. The need to be with Joy versus the need to let her go. Not just let her go in the sense that he, Cade, needed to move on, but let her go in that she, Joy, had decided to go. And, he'd said it. Only Joy could decide what was right for Joy. But Holy God did he wish that had included him.

Still, Cade couldn't escape Joy. He saw her everywhere. She was on the ski slopes. Her smile was in the sunshine that rained down upon him. Her beauty was in the sunsets that painted the skies. A picture of a horse, she was riding it. A chocolate stout, she was drinking it. Country music, Joy was dancing to it--glowing in the radiance of a piercing smile. She'd left, but her ghost remained.

His room was no escape. Three days of housekeeping hadn't erased the spectral scent of lavender. It was in his bed, on his pillows, in the air and carried on the steam of the shower. Nothing, absolutely nothing, had ever smelled better. Cade forced the gears in his head to stop turning.

Cade jerked on the shower. He turned it up to a temperature that would probably boil his skin off. He wouldn't even notice it next to the razor claws lacerating his heart. He stripped the last of his clothes, most were scattered about the suite's sitting area, and threw them on the counter. There was a bright ting as something small bounced off the mirror, skipped over the tile, and then skittered across the floor. Cade retrieved it. Gold, set with amethyst, Joy's sometimes fake engagement ring.

Pressure built in Cade's brain until his skull threatened to explode. Was it a sign? He wanted it to be a sign. He abandoned the thought. Not everything was a sign. Joy had simply taken the ring off and forgotten it.

But he still ought to return it to Joy, right? Her father had given it to her. She'd want it back. He couldn't just send it to MMI, Inc. She'd been fired. How would he know if Joy had gotten it? It had to be him. He had to take it.

Cade encased the ring in his fist and took the quickest shower known to mankind. Ten minutes later, he'd booked a flight, left the room and was racing for his 4Runner.

***

For the first time in three days, Cade slept soundly. Touchdown at SeaTac was gentle, but Cade was instantly alert. City glow reflected off the oppressive cloud layer, otherwise, the sky was predawn dark. He caught himself an Uber to a Shari's Dinner, where he plotted all the jewelers on his path towards Bothell and MMI. He might've been returning Joy's ring, but he had one last shot. He wasn't going to waste it. If he had learned anything in the past three days, he did not want to live five minutes without Joy in his life. Joy made everything more joyful. Cade wasn't so naive to think that she might give up her career, her life, for him, so he, who was free of such obligations, was prepared to adapt to whatever she might need.

It took six hours, eight jewelers and what had once been two month's payroll to find the right gem and a jeweler that could turn it into a solitaire in an acceptable period of time. Still, with all the time to prepare, Cade felt like he'd swallowed a rock by the time he was standing outside of MMI, Inc. The delay might've made it worse.

"How can I help you?" a short, attractive, forty-something brunette said from behind the receptionist's desk. The entry area was large, with plate glass windows that should've made the space feel bright. Rather, Seattle's winter mist cast the room in a gloomy chill. Despite its size, the room was clearly not a "waiting area." There was one bench-like seat, a few office plants, and a large MMI, Inc. sign cut from stainless steel on the wall behind the receptionist. A nameplate on the receptionist's desk proclaimed the brunette to be Kathy.

The rock in Cade's stomach grew heavier. Joy had been fired. There was a significant chance he'd not find her here. Still, MMI was his only lead.

"I'm here to speak with Ms. Hauk." Cade couldn't help but glance towards the cubicles populating the space beyond the reception area. The low murmur of voices filtered from the fishbowl room.

An inscrutable expression flit across Kathy's face. It ended in a frown that threatened to sink the dingy of Cade's hopes. "I'm sorry..."

"Cade--Cade Hawthorn."

"... Mr. Hawthorn. Joy Hauk is no longer with MMI."

The dingy named Hope took on water. A word he should've filtered popped from his mouth. Cade shifted uncomfortably. "Did I say that out loud?"

Kathy favored Cade with a lopsided smirk. "Yeah."

"Sorry. Can you help me? I really need to find Joy. She left something in Quaking. I flew to Seattle in hopes of tracking her down."

Kathy swiveled in her chair to face Cade more fully. She leaned her elbows on the desk. "I sympathize, Mr. Hawthorn. But I'm sure you can appreciate the fact that MMI cannot give out an employee's--ex-employee's--personal information."

Cade played with the velvet box in his pocket. He could indeed appreciate the inappropriateness of such an action. He pulled the box from his pocket. "Could you--could you perhaps call her for me? Let her know I have her ring. Maybe ask her to call me?"

There was a sharp intake of breath. Kathy's gaze traveled from the box to Cade and back to the box again. "Is that..."

"Yeah." Cade felt like there was tar clogging his throat. "The ring her father gave her and..."

Kathy's expression softened and grew sorrowful. "I wish I could help you. I really do." She shot Cade a sad smile. "But--" She paused. "--I don't have Joy's number. Her phone was MMI's, and, well, she hasn't updated us with new contact information."

The life raft keeping Cade's heart afloat rolled over and sank. Joy was getting away. She'd gotten away. He wasn't here to stop her, but he couldn't let her go without her knowing. His fingers banded the velvet box inside his fist. Two paces brought him to the gap in the wall that led into the fishbowl space. Cheap Office Max-style partitions did little to curb the cacophony of ringing phones, clattering keyboards and animated discussions.

"Hey, listen up, everyone!" Cade's words boomed out louder than he intended. There was a beat of silence followed by chairs, papers and keyboards being pushed aside. Pocket protector types, both young and old, stepped into the aisle, or the taller ones peeked over the top of the office partitions. One or two men stepped from the more private offices situated about the edge of the fishbowl.

"I'm Cade... Hawthorn," he added as an afterthought. "I was on the startup with Joy Hauk last week, and I--"

"Holy fuck!" Steve muscled his way past a blockade of spectators decked out in outfits that likely complied with the NASA engineering dress code. "That's the dickwad that went down on Joy at the job site and got her fired!"

Kathy gasped behind Cade. A tidal wave roar of chatter drowned the room. Stare after stare sized him up like a constellation of targeting lasers. Some were combative, others speculative and still others resigned--all were judgmental. Cade so wanted to pound Steve and yet...

This was what it felt like to be on the receiving end. Intentional or not, his public confrontation with Heather when they'd broken up had him, Cade, spilling Heather's sins in front of their coworkers. Unlike Heather, he never needed to see any of these people again. Cade gathered his will.

"Quiet!"

Silence fell. All that could be heard was the ringing of a phone. Even Steve stopped in his tracks.

"Yes," Cade said. "I was the selfish asshole who couldn't wait. Joy is paying the price for my failure. I lost her, her job. I might've ruined her career. I cannot make that right. I can--" Bile burned his throat. He choked down the fist, clogging his airway. "--I can only pray that she forgives me. I came to make things as right as I'm able, as right as she'll let me. Can anyone get me in contact with Joy, or, barring that, tell her that I'm here?"

Murmurs raced around the room once more.

"Fuck no!" Steve planted a finger in Cade's sternum. "You're the one that did this to her! You cost me my best employee. I had no choice but to fire her!" Steve's right hand curled into a fist. Cade steeled himself.

"Steve, a word, please," an older man with graying hair said. He had broad shoulders and was perhaps a few finger-widths shorter than Cade. "In my office."

"Sure. I'll be right there, Theo. Let me finish taking out the trash."

Theo said, "No, now." He motioned for Steve. He walked away as though he expected Steve to be on his heels. Fury, born on a red tide, washed across Steve's face. He hesitated, like he might still punch Cade, but turned and stalked after the man. Cade gathered that he might've been one of the partners.

Over the babble of voices, Cade said, "Anyone?" A few glances shot his way, but no one stepped forward.

"You should go."

This came from a short fellow off to Cade's left. Cade wanted to object, but the guy was correct. Head bowed, Cade made his way out of the building. A third or so of the streetlamps had come on. Here and there, light refracted off of the not-quite mist, not-quite rain that was Seattle's go-to weather pattern.

"Cade--it's Cade, right? Wait."

Cade was perhaps halfway across the parking lot. His Uber was going to pick him up at the street curb in less than a minute. Another streetlight had flicked on. Cade raised his gaze from his phone.

A fit, stout young man let the door to MMI's lobby close. He jogged across the lot to Cade. Despite his short sleeves, he seemed unconcerned about the weather--like he might've been part duck or something.

"I'm Carl. My girl, Sabrina, she's neighbors with Joy. There's an eatery on Silver Lake--er--in Everett. Emory's. She'll meet you there around seven. She might be a little late. She's been on a project in Kirkland and traffic is brutal this time of day."

A smile that might've rivaled one of Joy's busted out on Cade's face. He felt weak with relief. Cade clapped a hand on Carl's shoulder. "Thank you." Cade glanced at his phone. The time was nearing five. "Tell her I'll be there. I'm safe, Carl, but tell her I'll be there early if she feels the need to scope me out." Cade's feet would no longer remain still. He jogged for the car that'd just pulled up to the curb. "You're a lifesaver, Carl," Cade called over his shoulder.

A fifty-minute ride later, taken at a rush hour crawl, found Cade in a halogen-lit, water-washed parking lot off the side of a small lake. Inside, Emory's was bright and dry, the exact antithesis of the weather outside. Being mid-week and early, the restaurant was not packed. Even so, the merry babble of voices and clatter of dishes juxtaposed with the mouthwatering scents of grilled meat combined in a way that spoke of good times and good foods.

The hostess led him to a booth with an intimate view of a lake outside. Despite his heavy heart, Cade couldn't help but admire the subtle beauty of the setting. Cade ordered a Black Butte Porter to keep him company while he waited. If he couldn't kiss Joy, at least he might still catch a hint of her taste.

"Cade--Cade Hawthorn?"

Cade's musing on Joy's addictive flavor snapped. He physically flinched as his mind jerked back to reality.

"Cade?" The woman's voice was slivery, with just a hint of sunshine. She wore a sculpted pantsuit and a slate sweater that might've been cashmere. She was tall and slender, with a kind of beauty that might've been breathtaking if Cade's heart weren't fully owned by another. She had the look of a woman who'd endured a long day in the office and an even longer commute. Still, she managed to look quite put together.

Cade scrambled out of the booth. His internal critic admonished him. He probably wouldn't have done that for a man. Did women really know what they were asking for when they said they wanted to be treated no different than men? Probably yes and no. It was a politically correct minefield out there. One that was bound to blow up in everyone's face someday.

"Yeah. That's me. You must be, Sabrina." He offered his hand.

She smiled. "That's me." Sabrina's handshake was firm, feminine and businesslike. Cade waited for her to slide into the opposite seat before seating himself. Sabrina ordered white wine when the server came. She shucked her jacket and took a sip of her wine after it arrived. Clearly savoring the taste, Sabrina sighed. She seemed to settle more fully into her seat.

"So, why are you here?" she said.

"I came looking for Joy. Carl said you were neighbors. Will you tell me how to find her?"

"Clearly," Sabrina said, ignoring most of Cade's question. "I gathered that. But why did you come?"

Cade fished Joy's ring out of his pocket without bringing out the velvet box. "She left her ring in our--" Cade squeezed his eyes closed for a moment. "--the bathroom." He held the ring out to Sabrina. "Her father gave it to her. I couldn't just..."

"Oh," Sabrina said when he didn't continue. She seemed to deflate a little. "I could just give it to her."

Cade pulled the ring back. Anxiety skittered through him like an entire hive of fire ants. He was running out of options. Cade took a sip of his BBP to wash down the panic rising in his throat. "I'd really like to see her."

Sabrina cocked an eyebrow. "Why?" The question was more forceful this time. There was more than simple curiosity in her voice. Protectiveness but also--hope?

Cade stilled his rising panic. He heaved a sigh heavier than the Seattle rainclouds and reached into his coat pocket. Sabrina sat up straighter. A smile scrawled across her face before she could school her lips.

"Is that--" she said.

"Yes." Cade flipped open the velvet box.

Sabrina's expression fell. "That's not a diamond." She paused. "Is it?"

Cade's gaze fell on the heart-cut solitaire. He shifted in his seat. He tried to speak, cleared his throat, and tried again. "Yeah. Joy said she..." He bit his lip. He'd gone out on a limb. "Joy had said she wanted non-traditional."

Sabrina blinked. "She did?" A surprised smile blossomed. It shone with joy, but in Cade's world, it was merely a shadow of Joy's supernovas. "Oh-em-gee. She did. That's so, Joy!"

Yeah, Cade kind of thought so, too--a country girl raised in a city. "So, can you help me?"

Sabrina's gaze dropped to her phone. She nibbled a lip. "I would but... Joy's traveling right now."

He had to see Joy. "Traveling? Wh--" Fear strangled Cade.

Sabrina's expression turned sympathetic. "I'm not sure. She landed back-to-back interviews in Houston, Charleston, Denver and the Virgin Islands."

Pride surged through Cade; he'd known she'd have no problem finding another job, but the itchy, panicked feeling refused to abate. Joy had moved fast. She was getting away.

"Can you give me her number?"

Sabrina fidgeted with her phone. Her gaze moved to the solitaire, up to Cade's face and back to the solitaire. She bit her lip again. "I'm sorry, Cade. I truly am. But that'd, uh, be against the girl code." A blush peeked out from under her foundation.

Frustration sautéed Cade's brain. He got that. He wasn't going to press Sabrina, but--God, it hurt.

"You know, Cade, Joy's very committed to her career."

"Of course."

"There's not a lot of work for her in Sun Valley, Idaho. As far as I know, there is only two firms there."

"I know."

"So?" Sabrina dragged out the word, emphasizing the question.

"I'm prepared to follow her."

"And leave your cabin? Your horses?"

"She told you about that?"

Sabrina shrugged and gave him an apologetic smile. "We're neighbors and have the same career. It's kind of inevitable we'd be friends. You know, the kind that tells each other everything. Don't you think?"

A crooked smile bowed Cade's lips. He took a sip of his BBP--tasting Joy in it. "Yeah, I can imagine that."

"So?"

"I might have to find the horses another home, but yeah, I'd follow Joy to Somalia, Yemen or even Afghanistan if I had to."

Sabrina's eyes widened. She cycled a rapid breath. Her cheeks pinked and if Cade hadn't known better, she looked a little love-struck.

She dropped her gaze. Some emotion visibly rose within her, catching Cade off guard.

"I can call her." There was a barely repressed note of excitement in Sabrina's voice. She'd already opened her contact app. Cade could hear the dial tone against Emory's backdrop chatter. "See if she'll give me permission to share her number."

She did not put the phone on speaker, but even so, Cade heard ringing on the other end of the line. The sound of Joy's voice hit Cade like a shot of liquid euphoria, even as his heart plummeted at the tinny recording. Sabrina disconnected--cutting the recording short--and dialed again. Again, it went to voicemail. Sabrina lifted the receiver to her ear.

"Hey, it's me. Call me." Sabrina glanced at Cade. "As soon as you can. It's an emergency. Sort of. No worries, though. It's not a bad emergency." She clicked the phone off.

"Sorry." Sabrina shot Cade a weak smile. "She might be traveling or something. I can stick around for a while--in case she calls."

***

Sabrina glanced at her watch. It was pushing nine p. m. Their dinners were done. Their plates cleared. Cade was nursing another Black Butte Porter, but Sabrina had cut herself off. If the demeanor of their waiter was any indication, they'd overstayed Emory's welcome.

And Joy had not called.

"Cade?"

Cade glanced up. He'd been staring into the mouth of his BBP. His name, on Sabrina's lips, sounded as crestfallen as she looked but nowhere near as wrecked as Cade felt.

Sabrina collected her purse from the seat beside her. She waved her phone at him as if to emphasize its failure as a communication device. "I've got to work tomorrow. I can--" She shot Cade a sorrowful smile. "--give her your number. She lost it when she had to give up her phone. If you--"

She didn't complete the sentence. There was no need to. Of course he wanted Joy to have his number. The napkins were cloth, so he fished the business card Walkingshaw had given him from his wallet. He jotted his number on the back and pushed it across the table to Sabrina.

"You'll be seeing her again?"

"I'll text her."

"But you'll be seeing her, right?"

"Of course. If nothing else, I'll be helping her pack for her move."

Cade dropped the amethyst ring in Sabrina's palm. "Can you make sure she gets that? Her father gave it to her. She'll want it back."

Sabrina smiled, but there was no room in his heart to recognize the sympathy it tried to communicate. Sabrina made to leave. Cade's gaze tunneled back down the neck of BBP. Her hand landed on his shoulder. Her touch jerked him back to the surface before he could drown in a monsoon of despairing thoughts.

"She'll get the ring," Sabrina said. "And your number. I promise."

After she'd left, Cade paid the check and dialed up a ride service. He felt something bounce off his thigh when he scooched from the booth. A quick survey turned up nothing. Whatever it was, the busboy would find it.

It was nearly sunrise when his plane had started its descent into Salt Lake City. It was then that he realized he didn't have Joy's ring. Not the one Joy's father had given her but the solitaire Cade had crafted for her.

April

Cade

Cade kicked off his muddy boots by the door. He spent most of his days at Mary's corral now that Ishtar, Athena's filly, had been born. It wasn't really necessary that he be there, he paid Mary the same whether he was the one doing the work or not, but he just liked being around his horse. He was eager for when he could move Ishtar and April's yet-to-be-birthed foal up to his place, but that was still four or more months distant. Thus, he worked at Mary's. It kept his mind off of other things.

He tromped up the stairs. He rolled a sore shoulder. There wasn't a shovel or pitchfork in the world with a long enough handle that he didn't have to bend over a bit when mucking out stalls. Skiing kept him in pretty good shape over the winter, but he was forty-nine. His birthday had been a week ago. Things hurt sometimes. Like his heart.

His lacerated heart had not healed over the past three months. New wounds opened with every beat. Cade would've liked to have grown numb to it, but he never would. He was not trying to hold on. Not like he had with Heather. Love freed, not enslaved. He had zero intention of trapping Joy into anything she did not want.

Which was why when he didn't hear from her or Sabrina, he'd let Joy go. But he could not stop his heart from wishing she'd chosen otherwise. Thus, he hurt--and would forever hurt.

In his kitchen, Cade bypassed the cupboard with the Bulleit. He'd not had a shot since before Joy left him. Rather, he grabbed a KBS from the fridge. He stocked both that and the Black Butte Porter now. If he could not kiss Joy, he'd at least have one hint of her taste. He slipped on a pair of Ariat and headed out to the back porch. He dropped into a chair.

The air was chilly. The shadows of the Sawtooth Mountains west of him had grown long, although the sun had not yet set. Being early April, there was still enough snow on the ground Cade could've taken the snowmobile into town had he wished. He'd want his fleece-lined Carhartt before long, but for the moment, Cade just wanted to kick his feet up and feel. Feel the mountains. Feel the silence. Feel Joy.

A soft pedal tone purr cut through the quiet mountain air. A rattle sounded and a splash. Cade opened an eye. A small hatchback pushed its way up the partially cleared road. There weren't a lot of homes up past his place. All were the seasonal type. Cade didn't think any of them were currently occupied. He supposed it could be a cleaning service headed up to air out a house before summertime residents showed up. Or, perhaps, it was someone looking for a place to take off snowshoeing. Cade wouldn't have wanted to do the latter, not with the snow so heavy and wet.

Curiosity sated, Cade pushed the car from his mind. He settled back in his seat. He took a sip of his KBS, savored the taste, savored the memory, and let his mind drift into a place where there was no fear, only love.

A car door slammed. Yanked back to the here and now, Cade startled. His heart expanded like a helium balloon until he thought he might float away--or burst. His desire, his vision, his very heart, in the flesh. Blue aquamarine flashed from her heart finger. His ring. The one he'd meant for her. But it was lost. It couldn't be.

The smile that Joy gifted Cade was at first tremulous, hesitant.

"Cade?"

Cade's eyes dropped to her left hand once more. "Joy?" His voice was strangled. His whole body shook. It was as though heroin pumped through his veins. Did he dare hope? Did he dare not hope? Cade's gaze climbed back to Joy's face.

Her whole being exploded with heaven's light.

***

Joy

Joy stopped her Subaru in the middle of the road. All the traffic centered on the ski resorts. There was nothing this high up on the northwest slopes of Sun Valley. She checked her GPS and scrutinized the gravel, one-lane road to the right.

The lane was only partially clear. Snow drifts littered the road. Slush gathered in the ruts. A muddy path had been carved through the gravel where snowmobiles had dropped off the snowbank to cross the road. Joy could see only one A-frame house, a barn, and a surrounding corral far up the lane. There were no street numbers or signs but her GPS insisted this was the turn.

Hoping her car would live up to its advertising, Joy eased her Subaru off the paved road. There was lots of splashing and the slush kept sliding Joy into the ruts. Fortunately, the road base remained firm and the mud shallow. Joy only had one moment of panic when the car's forward momentum stalled while the passenger side crawled over a snowdrift. The car slid left, found traction and crawled forward again.

As Joy drew even with the A-frame and its barn, the GPS began babbling directions again. She'd had to cyber stalk Cade to find his address but he'd not hidden it. It'd been no different than opening the white pages in the earliest years of her life. She turned up the drive. This was unquestionably Cade's place. Joy recognized the 4Runner. Joy's heart pinched when she saw her heart's desire kicked back upon his balcony deck.

That same heart climbed up into Joy's throat. Excitement and terror warred. Attack and counterattack electrified her nerves. Her hand trembled so hard she could barely grip the key to turn off her car's old-fashioned ignition. She climbed from the vehicle, her knees knocking. She thumbed the ring. Her ring. His ring. Sabrina had claimed it had been meant for her, but he didn't know she had it. Would he want it, or her, back after all this time?

Joy looked up toward the deck. Her breath came in rapid, shallow gasps. Cade was right there. Joy closed the car door. In the stillness of the evening mountain air, it banged as though she'd slammed it. Cade jerked up. His whisky gaze found her. Joy's knees knocked. Beauty. Perfection. The love of her life. How had she stayed away so long? How had she put her career ahead of him? Had she lost him? Joy felt faint.

She tried to take a step, but her knees would not cooperate. Joy forced a smile. She could feel it wobble on her lips.

"Cade--" do you love me? Do you still love me? Am I too late?

"Joy?" Cade's voice sounded as though he were trying to speak around a throat full of razors. His gaze flicked to her left and back up to her face. A desperate hope lit his eyes.

She was not too late. He still loved her. The sky, the mountains, the whole world radiated light. It spilled into her heart until she overflowed.

Joy could not remember racing up the stairs. Yet, Cade had only taken one step and she was throwing herself at him. He braced himself just in time. They collided chest to chest. She riveted arms and legs about him.

"Cade." Joy couldn't form any further words. Home. Her body hummed in resonance with the energy of him. She was home. Joy rained kisses about his face, jaw, and neck until Cade captured her mouth with his own.

Joy's lips parted before the gentle probe of his tongue. The cinnamon was expected. The KBS surprised her. But it was the taste of Cade she needed. Joy dove in, seeking more. Cade devoured her in return.

After the fifth--sixth--seventh time they were coming up for air, Joy shifted. Cade set her down. He leaned back as far as her encircling arms would allow. Cade looked upon her face in awe.

"How?" Cade's voice a symphony of wonder.

"How what?" Joy asked.

Cade unwound Joy's arm from about his neck. He took her hand in his and ran a thumb over the heart-cut aquamarine. "This is mine. How'd you get it? Why are you wearing it?"

"I--" A megawatt jolt of panic arced through Joy. Had she made an assumption? No, Sabrina said the ring was for her. Had Sabrina read Cade's intentions wrong? Joy squirmed to disengage. Cade let her step away but would not let go of her hand. Fire scorched her cheeks. She dodged behind the mahogany curtain of her hair. "--Sabrina had it. Something about Emory's. It's right next door to our apartment. We go there all the time. A--a server had it. You know--from when--you--uh--came to find me."

Joy babbled. "I was going to call. But I--I--I couldn't. I would've come running--to you. I couldn't have stopped myself. But I needed to walk my own path. Prove I'm more than--that I wasn't just--that I was--" Joy sucked in a stabilizing breath. "I needed to prove that I could do the job. I needed to be more than just the silly girl playing at engineering. I needed that for myself."

Cade drew her back into his arms. "Oh, Joy." His arms banded tighter. "You're an amazing woman. You're a phenomenal engineer. But Joy--" A strangled sound left Cade's throat. "--you could've called me. I wouldn't have kept you. I wouldn't have kept you from your dreams."

"I know." The words came out as a wail. "I was going to call, but it took too long. It wouldn't have been right. I needed to see you face to face. And then I was--scared. It hurt so bad to leave you the first time. I couldn't have done it a second time."

Cade cupped her chin. He scrubbed a tear from her cheek with a thumb. He brushed Joy's lips with his. "There was no need to be scared."

"Yeah, says you," Joy breathed the words on a quaking sigh.

Cade did not respond. His expression moved towards pensive. Joy imagined him imagining himself in her shoes and knowing it was terrifying. Heartbeats hammered by.

"So," he finally said, "you're here."

"Yup." A smile flirted with Joy's lips. "I'm here."

"How long do you have?"

"Forever? I mean, I hope, if you'll have me when I'm not traveling for Watt."

Light lit Cade's face. "You're with Watt? In Ketchum?" His voice rose in a crescendo. "Are you really? Only Watt's best engineers get to the office in Ketchum."

Joy could not help the laugh that bubbled in her throat. "Yeah, I interviewed in Seattle. I told them I wanted a position in Ketchum. They agreed, so long as I did a three-month stint in Boise first. I think Sabrina's, Don's and Theo's recommendations helped. I would've been up here sooner. I've been in Sun Valley a week--" Joy's heart began to quake. She tapped a finger against her sternum. "Scared."

Cade drew Joy in. He banded his arms about her. He kissed away her jitters. After a time, he said, "You're wearing my ring."

Joy smiled. The weak bow of her lips slipped when she saw the heat in Cade's eyes. "It's a--Sabrina said it was an engagement ring. Right?"

"You said diamonds were boring. A man needs to show you that you're unique." Cade searched Joy's eyes. "That's what you said."

Joy let herself sink into Cade. "I can't even remember telling you that."

"I remember everything you say, Joy. It was after our first day of work. When I was driving you back to the Igloo Inn. Right before we found out about the fire. I'd been asking you about your father's ring--the amethyst."

"Wow, I do remember that. What an insane night, right? But, you know, it kinda worked out, didn't it?" Joy wiggled her heart finger at him. "What kind of stone is it? I kept thinking I should take it to a jeweler to find out, but I never made the time. I figured you might want to be the one to tell me anyhow."

"The stone's aquamarine, exactly the color of your eyes. I had to visit eight jewelers and pick through hundreds of gems to find it."

Joy's breath evacuated her lungs. "Oh."

"You're wearing it on your heart finger. Does that mean..."

"I said yes. Cade, yes. I say yes!"

Realization dawned in Cade's eyes. He swept Joy up and crushed her. Their lips met. A wave of cool relief flooded Joy. Cade's tongue swept across her lip. She opened. Their tongues tangled. A syrupy heat slipped through her to pool in her core. Cade palmed her ass as he bound her hips to his, the evidence of his arousal pressed into her. A molten sugar heat filled her core. The ache of her need bit so hard Joy ground against Cade, desperate for relief.

Cade trailed kisses down her jaw and over her throat. A tremor wracked his body. "Oh God, Joy." Her name came out on a sound like a sob. "I've missed you."

A whimper escaped Joy's throat. Need wound tighter than a spring. "Sorry. So sorry." How had she stayed away? How had she done this to herself? To him? Emotion seared through Joy and bound up her core. "Oh, God." The creator's name escaped on a strangled breath. "Me too. Me too!"

Cade buried his face in the crook of her neck. Hot breath spilled under the collar of her shirt and flowed across her breast. Joy's spine bowed. The bliss barrier cracked but didn't fracture. "Cade!"

"I need you, Joy. Need you."

"Yes. Yes!" She would give him anything, anytime, anywhere. Marriage, orgasms, children, her very life.

Joy shoved his hands away, too desperate to wait. She shimmied out of her jeans and bikini briefs as one. She'd only stepped out of one leg when Cade slammed her up against the wall of his house, his Levis already to his knees. He grabbed her ass. Joy hopped up and hooked her thighs over his hips. His shaft caught at her core, slipped and bumped over that buzzing bundle of nerves crowning her crease.

Joy cried out. Her head banged against the wall while her hips rocked in a broken beat. She slicked Cade--and her thighs. Her breath came in desperate gasps. She was so close. So close but so achingly empty.

"Cade, please!"

Cade fumbled. "Joy, condom." He tried to disengage. Joy banded herself about him.

A desire of an intensity Joy had never known filled her. She'd made him wait. Now she was desperate to prove she was his. "No. Cade. Now!"

"Joy?"

Joy couldn't string two thoughts together. Language was nearly lost to her. "Wife. Husband. Please!"

Cade slammed into her. Filling her. Stretching her. He roared her name as he battered the detonator of her pleasure center.

Joy tore at the back of Cade's Ariat shirt. Her teeth sank into his shoulder. Another crack formed in the bliss barrier. Cade pistonned. Joy cinched, already aching with loss before he hammered into her again.

Joy shuddered once. She clamped.

"Cade," she breathed.

The wall shattered. Blinding bliss. Light. Love.

Epilog

Joy

Joy swayed in time with Athena's gentle gait. Ahead, Cade and April picked a path between boulders atop a rise. Their fillies, Ishtar and Maybelle, weren't yet old enough to ride and followed along behind. Just over the top of the rise, the horses entered a flower-littered meadow.

A flash of light grabbed Joy's attention. Light swelled in Joy's chest until she felt like she might float away on a wave of love. The custom wedding band that hugged her aquamarine solitaire glittered like a comet's tail in the sun. Cade left the trail. When Joy guided Athena to follow, a rainbow of aquamarine, sapphire and diamond winked once more.

Joy couldn't help but smile at the back of the man whose love the ring represented. At their cowgirl wedding, held down at Mary's stables, Isabell had taken time to play maid of honor. Maybelle had somehow escaped the corral and stolen the flower girl's basket. Blossoms had been strewn everywhere while half the guests tried to wrangle the frolicking filly. The ceremony had been simple. Her dad had given her away. Her mom had wept--perhaps because she was getting married, perhaps because she wouldn't be living in Seattle. Joy hoped it was the first but, really, was starting not to care if it was the second. Her mom would be her mom, and Joy could love her however she was and still make her own decisions, still live her own life. Joy'd given Cade a titanium band etched with galloping horses. He'd given her this. It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen in her life--other than the man who'd given it to her.

"How about here?" Cade twisted in his saddle so he might face her.

Joy couldn't stop the earache grin that scrawled across her face. Cade looked momentarily poleaxed. Desire, love and joy passed over his face. She knew it was because she'd smiled. Cade told her at least ten times a day how much joy he saw in her smile.

Joy would not have thought it was possible for her smile to get any wider. But it did. "This'll be great." The sun was warm enough that the meadow hummed with the occasional honeybee tending the riot of wildflowers. Yet, the air was still chill enough the mosquitoes would be held at bay.

Cade dismounted. Joy slid down beside him. He hobbled the horses and dropped their saddles. Joy laid out their picnic. She waved off the BBP when he passed it to her. She accepted a La Croix instead.

A lazy hour later, Cade lay, his head pillowed on a saddle, basking in the sun. Joy hitched up on an elbow. Her gaze roamed the lines of his profile. His chest rose and fell with every breath. Peace spread through Joy's soul.

Cade's whisky eyes snagged on Joy's smile. "Watcha thinkin'?"

"About the day we met."

"Yeah? What about it?"

"Remember how I hit your head with the door?" Joy felt her cheeks pink. "Right before I fell on top of you?"

Cade chuckled. He graced Joy with a sideways smile. "Yeah, I remember that."

"I was lookin' to see if I'd left a bump."

"Naw."

"Well, I think you did."

Cade rocked up on his elbow to face her. A frown marred his face. "I did?" He scanned her forehead.

Joy splayed a hand over her lower abdomen. "Yeah. I've not started swelling." Heat burned her cheeks, but she smiled through it. "But that'll change." Joy tugged her shirt from under her low-cut jeans, exposing just the barest hint of skin. She scribed a slow circle around exposed flesh just above her belt buckle.

A heartbeat cycled before Cade noticed her action. Two more cycled before his gaze rocketed back to Joy's eyes.

"You're?" Joy couldn't tell whether it was hope or fear that choked his tone.

"Yeah," she breathed.

A kaleidoscope of emotion washed over Cade's face. "I'm goin'to be a... dad?"

"Yeah."

Elation flooded Cade's expression. "Joy!" Cade pulled Joy into his lap. "Me--a father." His arms banded Joy so tight it was hard to breathe. When Joy grew breathless with his kisses, he pushed her back an arm's length and studied her face. "You're happy about this?"

Cool relief swept through Joy. "Of course," Joy said.

"And your career? They're okay with you--you're okay with--with maternity leave? Your boss isn't going to pull a Skeeve?"

Joy suppressed a smile. Of course he was worried about her job, given all they'd gone through to keep their relationship and the career she was passionate about alive. Fire burned through Joy. Conviction cured her nerves. "Watt's big enough, progressive enough, that the Skeeves of the universe get weeded out."

"That's my woman." Cade sounded pleased.

Happiness expanded within Joy's soul. She was having a baby. Cade's baby. She took his hand and placed it on her womb. Love, from him to her, her to him, surrounded Joy and the life she bore in warmth. It filled the space between them, binding them not as two or three but as one. Joy answered Cade's lopsided smile with supernova joy.