Begrudgingly Yours Ch. 13

ASH

I had expected to wake up next to Victor but when I opened my eyes and looked at his side of the bed, it was empty. My heart began to race as my anxiety began to rear its ugly head again but I quickly brushed it aside. My panic subsided when I looked at the clock and saw that it was 11:30 in the morning. Victor had probably woken up and, not wanting to wake me, slipped out of bed and gone downstairs.

I felt a little guilty for sleeping in so late but honestly, it wasn't anything out of the ordinary for me. I was used to going to bed at sunrise and sleeping well past noon. Just because I could tolerate sunlight didn't mean I liked it. Though, I suppose, now that I was living with Victor and his family, my sleeping habits would need to change.

I sat up slowly, yawned, and brushed my hair out of my eyes. It took me a couple of minutes to drag my still groggy ass out of bed. I really didn't want to get up. I'd have been happy rolling over and getting a few more hours of sleep. The mattress was so soft and warm and the comforter covering my body was like being wrapped up in a fluffy cloud of bliss. I seriously hadn't slept so well in days but the main reason I didn't want to get up was the scent. Victor's scent was absolutely everywhere, embedded in everything around me. It felt familiar and safe and I didn't want to leave the cocoon of his lingering presence. The only thing that would have been better was if Victor himself were curled up in the bed beside me.

I thought about the night before. The way he held me, the way he kissed me and the way he made me feel like I belonged. I wanted to hold onto that feeling for as long as I could and forget the rest of the world and all the bullshit problems that came with it. In less than 42 hours, my existence had gone from boring and lifeless to a shit-storm of a nightmare and then somehow did a tail spin into a fucking unbelievable fairy tale. I was still trying to wrap my head around it all, not totally convinced yet that I wasn't still dreaming. I'd spent so much of my life in darkness that I never thought I'd ever see the light again. But, here I was, in Victor's bed, and it felt amazing!

I wasn't thrilled when my bare feet left the warmth of the bed and touched the carpet below but I managed to push myself away from the mattress, stretch and crack my neck. That's when I looked down and once the fog of sleep had drifted away, noticed that, yeah, my feet were actually bare. More than that though, I was only wearing a cotton T-shirt that was long enough that it could have passed as a night shirt, and so big it nearly swallowed me. This shirt too had Victor's scent all over it, as though his scent had fused with each thread of fabric. The feel of it touching my naked flesh sent shivers along my spine.

At some point he must have undressed me and then redressed me in one of his own shirts. I had no concerns that he did anything while I was sleeping. I knew he hadn't touched me. Victor would never do that. He'd simply tried to make me more comfortable. Just one more reason why the man was so amazing. I brought the collar up to my nose and inhaled deeply. His aroma flowed through my senses and attached itself to my soul. I could stand there forever, just breathing him in, draped in his shirt and savoring his delicious scent. I mean, I would have, but I couldn't stay hidden away in Victor's room all day. I had to go downstairs and I couldn't go downstairs wearing nothing but a T-shirt.

I was excited to try out Victor's bathroom. If it was anything like the one in the guest room, I was in for a treat. First thing though, I needed to find my clothes. I walked around the bed, scanning the room with my eyes and my nose. Oddly enough I didn't catch Jai's scent which had been all over the clothes I'd borrowed from him yesterday. All I could pick up on was Victor's scent of course, it was the strongest, my own scent and then, something else. Something familiar but out of place. I could smell my father, or more specifically, his mansion. Cloves and sand with a briny undercurrent of sea salt. My eyes immediately zeroed in on the three large trunks that were lined up neatly against the wall beside a wooden, antique armoire. Three trunks that had not been there last night.

Curious, I made my way across the room to examine the luggage. It was new and absolutely beautiful, crafted to look like vintage leather steamer trunks. Dark brown with leather straps and polished brass latches. Definitely my father's style, and expensive from the look of them. They were impressive but what really caught my interest was the folded sheet of paper that rested neatly on top of the first trunk. I picked it up and opened it, revealing the hand written note inside.

'These were delivered this morning, your father sent them. Freshen up, and come down stairs when you're ready. Love, V.'

I smiled, tracing my thumb over each word elegantly penned in the note. Something warm flickered in my chest and I could barely contain the happiness I felt just holding the slip of paper in my hand. Victor was so caring, so attentive, it nearly made me cry.

I set the note aside, reluctantly, then undid the latches on the first trunk and eased the lid open. The familiar scents of sandalwood, lavender and rose drifted up and wrapped itself around me, embracing me like an old friend. I recognized the contents at once. Silk button up shirts in dark tones like black, crimson, plumb and charcoal, along with the stray pink thrown in for added flavor, were neatly folded and carefully packed away. There was also a stack of band T-shirts I'd ordered online, a few of my hoodies, and the designer black Tee with a skull and black rose design that my father hated. The trunks were filled with my clothing and personal belongings.

The second trunk, I found, was filled with leather and denim pants, some loose fitting black joggers, and a couple of tailored suits I rarely wore. The suits were sharp and stylish, with narrow waists and high collars, but I still didn't like them. As a rule I generally didn't wear suits or ties and only did on special occasions, mostly to keep my father from bitching. I found them too constrictive and stuffy. My father thought they made me look more sophisticated but as teenage boy, I just thought they made me look old.

Along with the pants and suits were several pairs of sneakers, boots, loafers and deck shoes. Even the leather sandals I often wore while walking along the beach. Now that I was living near the mountains I supposed I'd have to get some hiking boots, but I'd worry about that later. The third trunk contained more personal items. Cologne, and toiletries. Books, my diary, CD's and other things that honestly, I was surprised my father had even thought to pack. Though, realistically, he'd probably had his servants do it. It was the thought that counted though.

Someone, my father or a servant, had even packed most of my jewelry. I didn't have much really, just a few rings, chains and chokers, and a pendant that belonged to my mother. It had some sentimental value but not much since I barely knew anything about her at all. There was also a box of earrings too but I rarely wore those because I had to keep re-piercing my ears every time I took them out. One of the draw backs of being a vampire and having super fast healing. I wondered if shifters had the same problem. Probably since they healed every time they shifted. It's like their bodies were taken apart, molecule by molecule, and then put back together again.

Vampires had the ability to shift but it was different. The older the vampire the more forms they could take and it wasn't limited to just animals. I hadn't quite mastered that skill yet and was envious of those who had though I was actually quite gifted at blending into shadows and making myself near invisible.

I closed the lid on the last trunk and let out a slow breath, thankful that my father had thought enough to send my things. The past couple of days I'd felt naked and exposed having to borrow Jai's clothing. His clothes weren't bad, they just weren't me. They were safe and conservative. What you would expect from the mate of the Pride leader but that definitely wasn't my style. Wearing his things had made me feel out of place and uncomfortable in my own skin. My own clothes though, they made me feel stronger, more confident and ready to face whatever life had to throw at me.

later, after speaking with Victor, I'd unpack. But not right now. Right now, I felt grungy and desperately needed a good, long, hot shower. Sifting through piles of clothes from the first two trunks, I selected just the right outfit. Something that made me feel just a little bit dangerous.

Black leather pants, sleek and supple. A silk shirt the color of red wine, rich and decadent with soft, flowing material. Light and breathable. The cool material kissed my skin like an autumn breeze as I draped it over my arm and stood up. Thankfully my father, or his servant, had thought to pack clean underwear.

Since waking in the guest room I'd been going commando. Not that I thought Jai had anything that would or could be contracted--vampires didn't catch STDS--but just the thought of wearing another man's underwear seemed gross to me. Besides, I saw my brother as more of a tidy-whitey or boxers kind of guy and I was more the lacy boy shorts kind of guy.

I carried the outfit into Victor's bathroom and immediately froze. The guest bathroom I'd used earlier was nice. Practical. But this? This was something else. Not even my personal bathroom back home with it's antique, claw footed tub, could compare to what I was looking at now.

The floor was a soft beige tile that gleamed under the overhead lights. A massive, drop-in spa tub dominated one corner, it's black marbled deck was polished to a bright shine. A rainfall shower was tucked behind frosted glass but it barely earned a glance. My eyes were glued to the tub and suddenly, my plans had changed.

I sat my clothes down neatly on the long marble counter top, peeled off Victor's oversized shirt and turned the faucet. Warm water poured in, the water echoing in the tiled space as it filled the tub. I added a few drops of the sandalwood scented oil that had been packed safely in my trunk. The smell filled the room as steam from the bath curled into the air and wrapped around me.

I patiently waited for the tub to fill, then I shut off the faucet and slid into the water. It engulfed me like a warm embrace. Heat seeped into every muscle, every pore, loosening knots I didn't even know I had. I leaned back against the the marbled edge and let out a quiet sigh of contentment. For the first time in days, my body didn't feel like a coiled wire ready to snap.

I closed my eyes and let myself go still. Completely still. Then, with a slow exhale, I slipped beneath the surface of the water, muffling the world above.

There were no sounds.

No voices.

Just the distant beating of my heart and the hum of the water swishing past my ears. The fragrant water was my cocoon, my place for relaxation and self-care and God how I needed it.

I took my time, soaking in the heated water, feeling it hug every inch of my skin as gentle as a lover. This was my sanctuary. My Heaven. Finally, I could relax and let my inner peace return. I could have stayed like that forever. I didn't need to breathe--not the way humans did. I was restricted by nothing. This was peace. Gentle, weightless and soothing. Like floating in a womb of warmth and silence.

For the moment I was able to keep the storm inside my mind at bay. I blocked out all thoughts of what I'd faced or will face. I removed myself from the pain and banished the ghosts of my past. This was calm. This was healing, and I was ready.

I suddenly felt a sense of tranquility and calmness like an ocean at rest. I wasn't anchored to anything but myself. Drifting freely on the waves of total abandon. Water had always been my refuge. That's why I loved swimming in the ocean. It was the only time I'd really felt free.

When I finally rose again, water dripping from my lashes and hair, I felt cleaner than I had in weeks. Not just physically but emotionally too. It's like all the parts of me, deep inside, that had been rubbed raw by fear and uncertainty were slowly being pulled up, out of the muck and mud, and hosed off. The stain Niklas had left on my soul was starting to fade and I felt just a little bit of the old me coming back.

I don't know when, maybe while Victor held me in the night, or maybe it was while I was under the water letting myself heal mentally, but at some point I'd decided that I wasn't going to allow myself to be a victim anymore. I was stronger than that. Braver. And I was ready to reclaim my life.

I stepped out onto the mat and dried myself off with a thick, soft towel, then returned to the counter near the sink to get dressed.

I slipped into my lacy undies first and then the leather pants. They hugged my hips and legs perfectly, supple and smooth. The red silk shirt slid over my skin like liquid. I rolled the cuffs and left the top few buttons undone, exposing my throat and slender neck. A pair of combat boots completed the look. Black, sleek, and powerful in a way that made me feel in control for once. The entire outfit said you can look but touch me, and I'll fuck you up.

I took a few extra minutes to look myself over in the mirror, turning this way and that to get an overall feel for the ensemble. I looked good, but not perfect. Going back to my trunk, I retrieved a small black, zippered bag then returned to the bathroom mirror. I opened the bag and took out a black eye-liner pencil as well as smokey-grey, and dark purple eye-shadow. The dark colors were just enough to make my jade eyes stand out and give them an edge. Beautiful, mysterious, like cat eyes. I applied it all with practiced fingers then finished with a brush of black polish on my nails.

I pulled my hair into a high ponytail and fastened it with a black band. The tip of my hair just barely brushed the top of my shoulders. Just before I stepped back to view the completed look, I added one last finishing touch. A narrow black silk ribbon that I tied around the hair band, making a gentle bow, the ends nearly invisible against the dark strands of my black hair. The ribbon was a small, unnecessary detail, but it was uniquely me. Old world elegance mingled with contemporary goth.

It was perfect.

I took one final glance in the mirror, admiring what I'd created. I wasn't the same boy I'd been the night I'd broken into Liam and Jai's bedroom. I wasn't even the same boy I'd been before that night. Not really. Too much had changed. I'd changed. There was something of the old me still inside, perhaps a glint of who I'd been behind my eyes but I'd evolved into something stronger, tougher. Something... indestructible.

I smiled and then nodded once at my reflection before stepping out and into the hallway, ready to face whatever might come my way.

***

I heard them before I smelled the food. Laughter echoed faintly through the halls. Warm, noisy and unfiltered. Deep voices overlapped teasing remarks and half-muffled, playful curses. A chair scraped the floor. Someone howled with laughter. The sounds, though not unfamiliar to me, were not something I'd heard often while living at my father's estate. Meal times were a private affair. Father often ate alone either in his office or a fancy restaurant but family dinners, those were few and far between.

It was odd. I had, in total, over thirty brothers and sisters, all scattered around the globe. Most of them in Europe, yet I'd only met a handful of my siblings. I knew almost nothing about them and they knew even less about me. I'm not even sure if any of them knew my name, or cared to.

Jai was the only one I really had any contact with and I was only just starting to know him again. He and I were unique. We were the youngest and had partcially grown up together. He loved me, had taken care of me as a child, and I had been closer to him than anyone else. I couldn't say how many nieces of nephews I had. I'd never met any. They were all older than either Jai or I, and had never really taken an interest in us. That was the family I knew. Strangers that shared my DNA but nothing more.

I never knew what a real family was like. When Jai left, I was alone. My family became an endless parade of nannies and servants and none of them had shown the love and devotion that Jai had shown. It saddened me to think of all I had missed out on, all that I'd lost, and I wanted that sense of love and belonging so much it hurt.

More than that, I wanted to feel accepted. I needed it. I hated being looked at as an outsider, mistrusted and hated. I wanted what Jai had. I wanted a family that welcomed me in, that loved me and wanted me around. I wanted that closeness and I wanted them to see me as Victor's mate. Not an intruder, his actual mate. Part of their Pride. I made up my mind then and there that I was not going to walk into that kitchen and be met with scorn or ridicule. I couldn't deal with anymore hate right now so I released calm and loving pheromones into the room. Maybe more than what was actually needed but the fear of being rejected was apparently stronger than my restraint.

My longing for a real family and the need to be accepted had almost caused me to overlook another need, but as the scent of something rich, savory and so mouthwatering invaded my senses, I suddenly realized that I was starving. It had to be close to one o'clock by now and I hadn't eaten anything in over twenty-four hours. Normally that wouldn't matter but having gone so long without blood, I was starting to feel the pangs of hunger.

I followed the scent through a wide, open archway and into the kitchen where I stood, looking around amazed. The kitchen was nothing like I had expected. Bright sunlight poured in through tall windows that framed the room in gold. It was modern, with sleek white countertops and soft beige cabinets, but the air was full of something that felt warm and timeless. Hanging copper pots reflected the sun. The tile was clean and honey-colored. And in the center of it all, at a long rustic wooden table, four people sat--talking, eating, and laughing like they didn't have a care in the world.

Jai was seated nearest to the end, leaning back in his chair, a lazy grin in his face as he sipped his coffee. Beside him sat Mac and Rick, both half-reclined and clearly mid-joke. Carter sat across from them. His smile easy as he rolled his eyes at their antics.

Gabriela hovered nearby, helping Ada with the food. She quickly snatched a warm roll from Rick's plate and stuffed it into her mouth before he had the chance to object. It was loud. It was chaotic, and I absolutely loved it. 'This could really be my life.' I thought as I watched them, hovering just inside the doorway, unsure if I should intrude or not. Again came the feeling that I didn't belong here. That I wasn't wanted. Unwelcome thoughts invaded my mind. A voice in the back of my head telling me I wasn't good enough. My presence would only darken the mood, destroy the vibe. I could never have what Jai and the others had. I could never have a family like this. I was an outsider, an outcast. I was a monster.

'Stop it.' I growled at the voice in my head. 'I am wanted. I am worth it.' I had to keep reminding myself. I'm worth it. I'm loved and I'm wanted. Screw Tomas and Jonah and their hateful words. They were two men. Two men that hated me but they didn't speak for the Pride. I sucked in a deep breath. I wasn't going to be afraid anymore. I had a real chance at happiness here. All I had to do was reach out and take it. Attitude is half the battle, right?

I stood up straight and tall, head held high and stepped fully into the room, letting the sunlight catch the glint of my black boots and the sheen of my burgundy shirt. The black leather pants hugged my hips and legs like a second skin, and the pony tail trailing behind me swung from side to side as I walked. I felt confident and unbreakable. I focused on the positive, pushing down every negative emotion I had so only good thoughts filled my head. 'I'm wanted. I'm loved. Victor loves me. Victor wants me.'

Every fork paused mid-air, every smile frozen in place. The room had become so quiet you could hear a pin drop and then, cutting through the silence, "Damn!" Jai grinned as he turned in his seat to face me. "Look at you. Hell, little brother. When did you get all grown up?"

I shrugged, blushing some. "I dunno."

"Victor's gonna have his hands full." He said, giving me a quick wink. "Half the Pride's going to be knocking down our doors once they see you."

"Oh, stop it." I rolled my eyes and waved him off like he was talking nonsense.

"Grab a seat, Bug." He chuckled then turned back around and picked up his coffee mug. I frowned at the pet name but said nothing.

Ada smiled from where she was standing next to the stove. Her face alight with her familiar, welcoming glow. "You hungry, Sweetheart?" She asked, warmly.

"I'll grab him a plate." Gabriela said before I could respond. Her tone was soft, even a bit teasing. She sat down the basket of rolls she'd been holding then bustled toward the cabinets.

Jai, Ada, and Gabriela had slipped effortlessly back into whatever they had been doing prior to my arrival but the others--Carter, Mac, and Rick--just stared. I smiled at them as I took the empty seat on Jai's left, presumably reserved for Liam but I could always move if he joined us later. As I sat down, I noticed the three sets of eyes following my every movement. Carter was staring at me, slack jawed and looked like his brain had suddenly short-circuited. His eyes moved from my face to my throat, trailing down the line of silk and skin then back up again. Mac blinked slowly, then exhaled something that sounded like 'damn.' Rick just stared, his usual cocky grin gone, his breath hitched like he'd momentarily forgotten how to breathe.

I could feel it then. The shift in power. For the first time since arriving at this house, I wasn't the fragile, frightened boy in baggy, borrowed clothes, jumping at shadows. I wasn't weak. I wasn't prey. I was a predator, beautiful, dangerous and untouchable. I was the thing men feared and desired. I was a shadow born from moonlight and blood and these men, these fearsome, powerful, shifters--they didn't know whether to fear me or fall to their knees and worship me.

I smiled, slow and wicked, letting it curl across my lips with deliberate precision. "Something wrong?" I asked, licking my lips as I let my gaze slide over each of them.

"I, uh, no." Carter stammered, tripping over his own words. "You just look... different is all. Good, but different."

"Thank you." I fluttered my lashes and smiled sweetly at him.

He fumbled, reaching for his glass of water, accidentally knocking it over as he struggled to regain control of his fine motor functions. He cleared his throat. His cheeks had turned a rosy shade of pink and he looked down, like the floor had suddenly become too fascinating to ignore.

"Dude," Rick looked at Carter, barely able to hold back a snicker. "I think you dropped something."

Mac snorted then bounced a dinner roll off Rick's head. "Leave the poor guy alone. He looks like he's about t0 faint."

Gabriela shook her head as she quickly cleaned up the spilled glass. "Behave yourselves." She whispered.

"Yes, Mom." Mac grinned at her. He and Rick continued to laugh and horse around. Jai did his best to ignore them and Carter looked like he was ready to bolt from the room at any second. It was hilarious and I loved it.

I Knew what I looked like and I knew how I could effect those around me. I'd chosen my outfit deliberately. The eye-liner and painted nails were just an added touch to aide the allure. But, it was the release of pheromones from earlier that was the true magic. It was meant to be disarming, to make the others feel more at ease around me, more trusting. A useful trick to lure one's prey in and then devour them. I wasn't actually hunting anything and I didn't plan to feed on anyone but I did enjoy the game. It was a bit shameful and I might have overdone it with the pheromones but seeing their reactions, watching them go from suspicion and cold civility to helpless awe was intoxicating.

It wasn't because I wanted them to want me, Victor was the only one I wanted, but because for once, I felt like I had the upper hand. I had all the power and God was I enjoying the rush. Finally, after weeks of feeling crushed beneath the weight of Niklas's shadow, I was starting to feel like me again.

My attention shifted from Carter, Mac, and Rick when Ada sat a bowl of steaming venison stew in front of me, followed by a heaping plate of roasted carrots and potatoes. Gabriela followed with a small garden salad and a dinner roll, warm and oozing over with melted butter. I picked up the roll and took a tiny bit. The warm and rich flavor made my tongue tingle. These were not store bought rolls. No, they were home made and fresh from the oven. I might have actually moaned as I took another, larger bite.

Ada chuckled softly. "Eat up, Sweetheart," She said with a wink. "You could do with a little more meat on those bones."

I thanked her softly then dug into the stew, greedily spooning it into my mouth. It didn't escape my attention that Carter, Rick and Mac were still watching me--Carter mostly--But I was too involved in scarfing down as much of Ada's cooking as I could to really pay them much attention. I honestly might have found something that I loved more than chocolate and sweets. I couldn't imagine that anyone, not even a gourmet chef could have made more delicious food. It was that good.

Ada was truly a wizard in the kitchen. The carrots and potatoes were roasted to perfection and seasoned with enough herbs to make the flavor really pop in my mouth. But the stew. Oh. My, God. The stew was to die for. I had seriously never tasted anything so delicious. Earthy and rich with tender chunks of venison that just melted on my tongue. I dipped the roll into the broth and took another bite. This time, I was sure I moaned.

A soft chuckle rose up somewhere from the table and Mac suggested my food and I may want some privacy. I ignored the comment. Besides, he may have been right.

The others began chatting again, the conversation having picked up after the initial shock of my entrance had worn off, though I still caught more than one pair of eyes drifting my way. Jai was totally relaxed now, chewing on a carrot while looking through what looked like a Pride published news paper. Rick popped open a can of pop then tossed out a sarcastic remark toward Mac, who'd apparently told a joke.

But Carter...

Poor Carter.

He was trying so hard to keep it together but the moment I smiled across the table at him, his hand jerked and he nearly dropped his spoon. The clang of metal on ceramic made everyone glance his way.

"Dude," Rick laughed. "You okay?"

"I'm --fine." Carter mumbled, turning an even darker shade of red. He reached for the water pitcher, nearly knocking his glass over a second time as he tried to fill it with unsteady hands.

"You sure you're fine?" Mac muttered around a mouthful of bread, smirking. "Cause, ya kinda have that 'deer caught in head lights' look, bro."

"Shut up." Carter growled, running a hand through his hair. He looked completely out of sorts and I was starting to feel a little sorry for him. I hadn't wanted to render him totally useless but clearly my pheromones had a stronger effect on him than the others though I couldn't figure out why, unless...

I decided to push the boundaries a little more, just to see his reaction. "Is there any thing other than water to drink?" I asked, my voice soft and sweet. The request was not demanding at all and while it had been directed at anyone in the room, my eyes were fixed on Carter.

His eyes locked on mine, pupils dilated and his gaze fixed and unwavering. I knew then that he was putty in my hands. "Yeah, of course." Carter moved away from the table so quick you'd have thought it was on fire. "We have tea, milk, or pop, or do you prefer something else?" He asked me, already halfway to the fridge.

"Pop's fine." I told him in the sweetest voice I could manage.

"Okay, um..." He cleared his throat as he opened the fridge then began going through the selection like a waiter reciting the wine list. "We've got orange, cola, lemon-lime, mountain dew and some herbal thing that tastes like piss."

"And you would know what piss tastes like... how?" Mac raised an eyebrow, snickering. Carter ignored him.

"Mountain Dew sounds great." I giggled.

"Mountain Dew it is then." He grabbed a can then shut the fridge door a little too hard. He hurried back and placed the can in front of me.

"Thanks." I smiled as I picked up the can, opened it, and took a small sip. Carter watched me the whole time. Eventually he'd made it back to his seat but his eyes never left me. He watched me as though in a trance, like he'd forgotten the rest of the world still existed.

It was amusing to watch. Carter was much older than me, twenty-nine or thirty, a grown ass man and I had him acting like a love struck teenager. When I'd first met him, he'd been dismissive, cold almost. He was suspicious at first then after meeting with my father his suspicion had become more like pity. I still wasn't sure if he completely trusted me yet but at least he'd loosened up a bit more. His behavior now though was the complete opposite and I honestly hadn't expected that reaction at all.

My vampire allure wasn't all pheromones and glamour. Jai, Ada, and Gabriela were unaffected and the effects on Rick and Mac had worn off pretty quickly. But, for Carter to be so enamored with me, there had to have been an underlying attraction already there. That's how it worked. I couldn't plant false emotions in someone, only amplify what was already present.

I couldn't make someone angry or depressed but if those feelings already existed, I could intensify them. The opposite was true as well. If someone was angry or nervous, or scared, I could reach deep inside, find their calming center and pull it to the surface. So far this ability only worked in small areas and usually only with one or two people at a time but I knew of older vampires that could mesmerize an entire crowd.

I knew I had gone too far and I couldn't let him suffer anymore. The way he kept staring at me was a little embarrassing. I swallowed and set the can back down. "Is something wrong?" I asked, my voice soft and friendly.

"Huh?" He blinked.

"You're staring." I pointed out. "Is something wrong?"

"No, no. It's just." Carter paused for a second, like he was trying to find the right words. Finally, when he spoke, it was almost in a whisper. "You're... beautiful. I don't know why I didn't see it before."

Jai narrowed his eyes then glanced my way and I could feel him tense. Rick and Mac were staring at Carter like he'd just lost his mind.

"Yo, Carter, man. Maybe we should go out for a run or something. Get some fresh air." Mac suggested.

Carter didn't even look his way. His eyes were too focused on me. A chill ran down my spine and I shrunk away, further into my chair. Carter's attentiveness to me had gone from funny to creepy and I was ready to put an end to this. I closed my eyes and concentrated, pulling back my pheromones. All of them. Even the calming ones. At this point I no longer cared if Carter hated me or not. I opened my eyes and expected him to be a little dazed, maybe somewhat groggy but the effects should have started to wear off only, when I looked across the table at him, I saw him staring at me more intently than he had before.

He rose slowly from his seat and carefully walked around the table until he was standing right beside me. He looked down at me and the fevered look in his eyes was something I recognized immediately. It was the same look I got from alphas when I was in heat, which is why I normally spent that time shut away in my room, secluded from the rest of the house. Jai must have recognized the look too because he was on his feet before I even realized what was happening. Carter reached out and Jai suddenly put himself between us and slapped his hand away.

"I just want to touch him." Carter breathed, "His hair, it's so..."

"Back the fuck off." Jai growled.

"No." Carter groaned. He looked confused like he didn't understand why Jai was blocking him from getting to me. "I need..."

"Carter, get a hold of yourself." Mac and Rick were suddenly standing beside him, each one holding his arms.

"Get off me." Carter growled suddenly, trying to pull himself free from their grips. "He's..."

"Victor's mate." Rick said. "Carter, he's Victor's mate. Think about what you're doing."

That must have brought Carter back to his senses because he blinked, then took a step back, shaking his head. "What the fuck." He narrowed his eyes and glared at me. What ever affection he once had was long gone. "What the fuck did he do to me?" He snarled. He fought harder against Rick and Mac, his muscles coiled tight. His face flushed with fury and confusion. His eyes locked on me and he glared. His eyes filled with blame like I'd personally reached inside him and rewired his brain. "You fucking little..."

"Carter." Jai said firmly, moving closer to Carter slowly, calmly, as if approaching a wounded animal. His hands were up, palms out, not threatening, Protective.

Carter struggled again. His eyes wide and wild looking. "He got in my head." He hissed. "What kind of fucking mind games is he playing?"

"Carter." Jai's voice dropped, quiet but sharp. "Look at me." He placed a hand gently against Carter's chest.

I saw it happen like a switch being flipped. The change was immediate.

Carter's breath hitched. His body stiffened... then slowly sagged, tension bleeding from his limbs like water. The fury in his eyes faded, looking more dazed and glassy. It was like the anger had been a fever and Jai's touch had melted it away.

"What did..." Carter gasped.

"Just breath." Jai murmured, his hand still splayed across Carter's chest. "You're okay." Jai told him. "Your heads just a little noisy right now. Let me quiet it."

Carter's eyes fluttered briefly. He looked for a moment like he might actually pass out. His pulse slowed and his breathing eased. His body swayed slightly. Mac and Rick tightened their grip to keep him from falling. Carter swallowed hard. "What's happening?" He asked. His voice was softer, almost dreamy.

"Shh." Jai pressed his palm a bit firmer against his chest, grounding him. Carter leaned slightly into the touch, then seemed to catch himself. He shook his head as if trying to resurface after being held under water. "You were spiraling." Jai explained. "About to lose control. You just needed a little help to come back down."

Mac and Rick lowered Carter into a chair. They stood nearby, in case he got dizzy but so far it looked like he was going to be alright.

"What was that?" He asked, sounding breathless. "At first, I felt like my blood was on fire. All I could feel was need--lust. But then this feeling of peace washed over me. It felt... restful. Like falling asleep in the sun. So calm and soothing."

I blinked at the comparison. Surprised and a little unsettled by how easily I had affected Carter and how it had all gone so horribly wrong. Jai had achieved what I'd apparently failed to do. His power wasn't sexual or seductive.

It was calm and passive, safe.

I saw Carter begin to steady, his expression becoming softer. The sharp lines of panic now dulled by the foggy calm radiating off Jai like a warm breeze.

"Better now?" Jai asked, taking a step back.

Carter nodded, numbly. "Yeah, I think so. But man, that was intense."

"Well, just try and relax." Jai told him. "Let your head clear."

"Yeah, okay." Carter took in a deep breath and slowly let it out again. He seemed calmer, more relaxed but when he glanced my way again, his expression darkened. He looked like he wanted to say something, maybe yell at me, but then he just turned his head like he couldn't bear to even look at me.

I felt horrible for what I'd put him through and I wanted to apologize but I knew now wasn't the time. Words weren't enough to fix this. For now, I'd give him some space and later, when he'd cooled off more, I'd tell him how sorry I was. I just hoped he'd believe me.

In the aftermath, everyone was trying to stay calm and resume their lives like nothing had happened. That was easier said than done. Ada and Gabriela had fled the kitchen at some point, I didn't even see them leave.

Rick and Mac were trying to lighten the mood with their usual jokes and antics but nothing seemed funny anymore. Jai was urging Carter to drink some water but he refused. Instead, he sat silently in the kitchen chair, head down and fingers laced together in his lap. Anger, shame, and humiliation rolled off him in waves so strong that I didn't honestly know if we'd ever more forward from this. It seemed almost impossible at this point.

I sulked down in my seat, arms folded tight against my chest, trying hard to make myself small, less visible. If I could have dug a hole and crawled in it I would have. I couldn't stop my mind from thinking about what had happened with Carter. Going over it again and again, wondering what went wrong.

My power had never been that strong and it certainly had never been sexual. Maybe a little seductive. That's what the allure was all about after all. Attraction, maybe slight longing, but never lust. I'd ignited a fire inside him and I hadn't even meant to. And then Jai... Jai had touched him and calmed him like it was nothing. Just a gentle hand and Carter had practically melted at his touch. There wasn't any heat or confusion in Jai's power. No seduction. Just warmth and peace.

So why was mine so different? Why did my power make people act as though I'd reached inside them and lit a match? It didn't make any sense.

Guilt curled around my ribs suddenly, squeezing like a vice.

Maybe I shouldn't have come down stairs. Maybe I should have waited for Victor.

Just thinking about Victor made my heart flutter and my body warm. A rush of longing flooded my chest deep, thick, and all-consuming. His scent. His voice. His hands on my skin. His mouth, hot and wet, whispering against my throat. My whole body suddenly ached with need for him. I wanted him. I wanted his arms around me, his lips on mine, claiming my mouth in a searing hot, and ravaging kiss and I wanted...

"Whoa, is it me," Rick said, suddenly shifting in his chair, "or did the air just get really... heavy?"

I blinked, unsure what he meant. "What?"

"I mean," he went on, tugging at his shirt collar, "it feels like we're underwater or something. It's hard to breathe in here."

"I feel it too." Mac added, his brow furrowed. He pushed back from the table and stood up. "It's getting hot in here. Like really hot. Stifling. I need some air."

I looked around, startled. Rick's face had gone red. His breathing was shallow. Mac looked restless and sweaty, eyes darting toward the door like he was ready to bolt.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Carter muttered, pushing his chair back, fast. "Jai, get him out of here, now!"

"Ash!" Jai snapped, spinning around to face me. "Stop it, now!"

I Froze. "What? I-I'm not doing anything."

But the moment I said it I realized I was wrong.

The room was suddenly flooded by a low pulse of heat and tension--mine. It wasn't visible, but it was there, hanging in the air like thick perfume. The way Rick squirmed, Mac looked like he couldn't sit still, and Carter stared at me with a look between rage and arousal, it told me everything I needed to know. I was the cause. I was doing this to them.

"Oh my God." I whispered, horrified.

Jai didn't waste another second. He grabbed me by the wrist and practically dragged me out into the hallway. He didn't let go until we were far enough away from the kitchen that I could no longer affect the others. I was too stunned to speak. My heart was hammering in my ears.

Jai turned to me with a sigh, running a hand through his hair. "You and Victor haven't..."

"Haven't what?" I asked, still too naive to get what he was saying.

He just stared at me for a moment then rolled his eyes and muttered, "never mind."

"What's happening to me?" I asked in a panic. "Why did I do that? I didn't mean... God, I didn't mean to do any of that."

Jai's tone softened. "It's not your fault, Ash. Just calm down."

"I can't calm down. I'm a fucking freak."

"No, you're not." Jai looked at me, his eyes narrowed. "Do you seriously not understand what's happening?"

I shook my head slowly. I really didn't know what was wrong with me. One minute I was strong and confident, proud of myself and the next minute, everything had fallen apart. I had three alphas acting like they wanted to either kill me or fuck me and all I wanted was Victor.

Victor was safe, Victor was calming. Victor could fix everything, I knew it. Being in his arms, my face pressed against his chest...

"Ash." I looked up, nearly forgetting where I was. "You're doing it again."

"I am?" I was so confused.

"Yeah, your pheromones are all over the place." He sighed.

"Why? I don't understand."

"I know you don't. Someone should have explained this all to you way before now." He said. "Look, you're a newly mated omega but you haven't consummated the bond yet. Right now your instincts are in overdrive and your body is actively seeking out your mate. Your hormones, your energy, your aura---everything--is behaving like you're in heat. But because you and Victor are a fated pair, the effect is stronger... more intense."

"Intense?" I echoed the word. "Carter, and the others, they looked like they were about to pass out."

"They probably were," He said dryly. "Or worse."

I couldn't imagine what 'worse' was. Or maybe I could.

"It's not their fault either." He said. "And it's not something you can just turn off. If you don't deal with it, and soon, it's going to get worse."

My face burned. "So what do I do?"

Jai shrugged. "Well, I'd avoid thinking about Victor in public if I were you."

That was easier said than done. Lately Victor was the only thing on my mind. I didn't know how I could just stop thinking about him but I nodded anyway.

Jai must have noticed the worry on my face because he frowned then pulled out his phone. "Just hang on a minute." He told me.

He unlocked the screen then swiped quickly, raising the phone to his ear. "Liam," he said as soon as the call connected. "Is Victor with you?"

I watched his face. My heart was pounding. I was still shaken from what had happened in the kitchen but more so about what Victor would say, or do, when he found out. Would he be pissed at me? Would he reject me? Realize what a mistake he'd made and order me back to my father? I held my breath and waited. The empty hallway seemed much too quiet suddenly and I wondered if Jai could hear my frantic heart beating.

"Good," Jai said in relief. "Look, there's an... issue. Victor needs to come back right now. Ash needs him."

My chest tightened. I hated how helpless I sounded but... he wasn't wrong. I did need Victor. He was the only one who could calm the storm brewing inside me.

Jai turned away slightly, lowering his voice. "No, he's not hurt. Not exactly. It's--complicated. Tell Victor to calm down. I'll explain everything when he gets here, I promise. Just tell him to hurry."

He ended the call and slipped the phone back into his pocket then turned to me with a gentleness in his eyes that I remembered from my childhood.

"It's going to be okay, Bug. But for now, you need to stay away from everyone. Especially alphas. With the way your body is reacting, every dominant male within a hundred feet is going to be affected. You can't help it, but we can manage it."

I nodded, biting my lip. I didn't trust myself to speak.

"Come on," Jai gently placed a hand against my back. "Let's go upstairs and wait."

He didn't say it but I understood what he meant. Upstairs, away from the rest of the house where I couldn't cause anymore problems.

We moved through the house quickly, taking the back stairs this time to avoid running into anyone else. Not many people were lingering around anyway. Alaric and Antoine were likely still asleep. Liam, Victor, and Marcus were on patrol and I had no idea where Jonah or Tomas were. It's possible they'd already felt the wave of pheromones I'd sent out and retreated as Ada and Gabriela had. Whatever the cause, I was glad for the space. I really couldn't deal with anymore confrontations today.

The moment we stepped into Victor's room I relaxed. His scent was everywhere, grounding me like a safety net. Jai closed the door behind us and motioned toward the bed. "Sit down and relax." He instructed. "Victor should be here soon."

I did as he asked, perching myself on the edge of the mattress. My hands were trembling. I pressed them against my thighs, attempting to steady them. Jai sat next to me, murmuring reassurances that everything was going to be fine. Victor would understand. He wouldn't be angry--but that knot in my stomach continued to grow.

When the front door opened downstairs, I heard it. My ears tracked the sound of footsteps, growing louder as they came up the stairs. Jai gave me a quick pat on the knee then stood up. "Stay here." He told me, then he went out into the hall to meet Victor.

The voices outside the bedroom door were low and too muffled for me to make out what they were saying, even with my vampire hearing, but I could feel the tension through the walls. Victor wasn't alone. I heard Liam's steady baritone first, then Jai's soft but insistent cadence. Victor didn't speak but I could feel him through our bond. Stronger now that he was closer. It vibrated between us, pulling, urging us to complete the mating and seal the bond. I took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly. My heart was pounding. The worry I'd felt only moments ago was gone now. My only thought was to jump off the bed, rush through the door and straight into Victor's arms.

I didn't have to though. A moment later, the door opened and Victor stepped inside, alone.

I stood immediately, my heart leaping up and into my throat.

He closed the door behind him without a word and crossed the room with slow, measured steps, his dark eyes locked on mine.

"Victor... what happened downstairs, I didn't mean to..."

His hand found mine, gentle and sure. "Don't." He said softly. "Just breathe."

I did as he said and let out a long, slow breath. My entire body relaxed because when he touched me, it was like all the chaos had suddenly just melted away. Victor was here, with me, and everything was going to be fine now.