Apology Pt. 01

My eyes blink open as I wake just before daylight breaks. Groggy, I roll over and check the time. 5:45

I groan, "Whyyy am I awake?!" I think to myself.

Closing my eyes trying to go back to sleep, my phone vibrates, dashing my ability to return. The notification reads,

"Jess: Hey, I know we haven't talked in awhile and I'm sorry for texting you so early but I couldn't sleep all night and I want to talk. Can I call you later?"

Even still a bit groggy I mutter to myself, "what the fuck?" Jess is my ex's step sister, shortly after I came out as pan she reached out and we started spending more time together. We were two sides of the same coin in some ways, complete opposites in others, but one thing never changed the entire time I've known her. I have a crush on Jess. She's a sarcastic brat who loves anime and beneath her composed exterior is a tsunami of deviant thoughts and desires.

Staring at my ceiling trying to figure out my reply my mind begins to wander. I start thinking about the fantasies I have about her, the time I saw her in just a bra and panties on accident, the times we sat so close she was practically in my lap, the time she flirted with me before she was married to her now husband, Bryce.

Without realizing it I've been rubbing my cock, slowly moving my palm against my briefs, up and down my shaft, feeling myself grow harder and harder until I'm straining against the elastic.

I slip my briefs off and slowly stroke myself, watching as veins bulge and my head swells, seeing pre-cum beginning to leak from the thoughts of her. I start playing out my favorite fantasy in my mind, Jess knocking on my door, answering to find her wearing her casual clothes, oversized sweat shirt and yoga shorts that show off her ass a little too well. Inviting her in and making her a cup of coffee, out of the corner of my eye I catch her sneaking glances at my ass before she clears her throat and says.

"I wanted to come apologize for ghosting you for so long. Life has been shit, and I know you know that but it doesn't excuse me just dropping you and slowly pushing you away."

Taking a breath I say, "Well, I can't say I'm not hurt by it all. It felt like the moment your friends wanted you to be more involved with them in a churchy religious way, you decided you couldn't be friends or a sister to a gay brother anymore. Not to mention, I get the feeling Bryce really doesn't like me talking to you alone."

The corner of her eyes glisten ever so slightly, like she's holding back tears. Without thinking I open my mouth, "Listen, Jess. I don't think I want to go back to how things were even if it is possible. It hurt enough that I don't want to invest into reconnecting just to live with the fear you might do this again." Shit, was that too much? I feel like I just told her I'll never trust her again completely.

She breaks the silence by reaching out slowly and laying her hand on top of mine as we sit facing each other on the couch. "I'm not asking you to do anything you don't want to. I'm here to apologize and admit something I've been hiding from everyone for way too long now."

My throat feels like somebody has their hand wrapped around it, I can't speak or think, all I can manage is to listen.

"Do you remember the nerf gun fight at Christmas a few years ago? That moment when we both turned the corner on each other and grabbed each other's guns while just smiling at each other? I think that was the moment I started crushing on you and I haven't known what to do with the feelings I have for you, but after everything I thought an apology would be best."

Before I can respond she lets go of my hand and moves to lift her sweatshirt up and off, revealing her breasts completely exposed to me. "Lay down so I can apologize for being a brat." she says. Caught up in the moment I quietly do as she asks, she moves to straddle me and places her hands on my chest as she begins grinding against the erection building in my pants. Her eyes are locked on mine as she starts letting out small gasps and moans, clearly not expecting me to be as big or hard as she thought. Her head tilts back as she lets out a sultry, "ohhh fuuuck" before leaning down to kiss me. Not just a slight kiss, a hungry kiss, like she's been planning this out for some time now. Her lips wrap around mine as our tongues dance against each other, exchanging grunts and moans as she continues grinding her pelvis against me. She breaks the kiss catching her breath before looking in my eyes and saying,

"Can you punish me? I want you to use me, I trust you."

Hearing that sends a bolt through my entire body all the way to my brain, I grab the side of her head lacing my finger through her hair, pulling her lips to mine. As we kiss my other hand explores her, first joining my other hand and holding her head close, then make to grab her hair and pull her until she's looking up, I kiss down her chin and neck, nibbling at her ear and whispering, "I forgive you, but for these next moments, it's going to look like I hate you." Sinking my teeth into her supple neck, drawing a gasp from her as I begin expressing the hunger and lust I've built for her for years.

Moving my hands to fondle her breast, kneading and pinching her nipples until they harden for me as she continues her moans and gasps in unison.

I pull away from her sitting up and growling low, "Kneel."