More Scandolous Photos

Why are you showing me your girlfriend's boobs?

It was what my great grampa would have called a "snap". Or snap shot.

I would not call the woman in the picture beautiful. You could say she was cute, but she was approaching the age where she could not pull that off much longer. Handsome, if a woman can be handsome.

Latina. Coffee and cream complexion. She was wearing a fire red two-piece swim suit. She had somehow lost the top. She was sitting on her feet and she had a grip on her boobs. Her areolae were large and dark, she was probably a MILF. From the way she held her breasts I could not tell for sure if I was seeing her nipple. One was definitely hidden behind her thumb. I could have enlarged the image on the phone to be clear but with Manny sitting right there watching me it would have seemed too much like I was fondling his girlfriend's breasts on his phone.

I thought it was a strange pose. She was holding each of her breasts and looking down at them as if she were seeing them for the first time. A kind of dumfounded "Where the heck did these come from?" expression on her face. Was it really that much of a surprise?

It reminded me of my great grandpa's old photographic art magazines. They were old black and white magazines with "life study" photos in them. They were porn before Playboy magazine suggested porn could be mainstream. Most of the models poses mirrored the poses of nudes in classic paintings. The captions under the pictures included light conditions, camera settings and dry formal sounding titles. A pose like this would be considered frivolous or "fun". It would be in the publication to remind the hobbyists to have some enjoyment with their expensive distraction.

It really was an expensive hobby. You had to have access to an expensive camera and all sorts of photographic equipment to take the shots. A good camera would let you change out lens and add filters to them. If you did not have a room with northern lighting, you would need artificial lighting. Lights, screens umbrellas and all the tools to mount them. Lighting modifiers, tripods and booms. Back drops, props and some sort of staging area. Of course you would need film too. Different speeds of black and white film depending on what you planned to do.

You could avoid some lighting problems with flash photography, but flash bulbs were one time use in those days. Take your photo and then have a hot burnt-out bulb you had to deal with before you could take another picture. They actually made a pop noise when you took the flash, then there was a crackling sound as if the glass in the bulb fractured. I don't know why they did not spray bits of broken glass around.

Models presented a problem as well. Most people would start with family members or friends. If you were dating or married to the guy an occasional photo shoot would be an expected chore. He would probably be after you to draft your friends as well.

Since these were art photos you could not just drop them off at the pharmacy to be developed. Some places had laws against pornography that could affect you if someone decided to do a crusade. Besides you took so much time and energy to get the perfect image it's only natural you would want to develop your own photos. You will want to set up your own darkroom.

Developing solutions, acid baths, stop baths, running water, timers and red lights and lines to hang the photos to dry. Projectors to mount your negatives and photo sensitive paper for capturing your images.

In those days Americans thought pubic hair was particularly lewd they would airbrush it away and arm pit hair as well. Sometimes they eliminated nipples and erased anything else they considered an imperfection. The Barbie look. Oddly Europeans whose art they were reflecting had no problem with body hair. American guys would be quite shocked and traumatized by a French gal with hairy armpits. Or a cute Italian ragazza with a little fuzz on her lip.

Darkrooms had to be light tight. The door had to stay closed in the process. Often there would be a light above the door warning no entry. Watching the erotic image of your nude girlfriend slowly and magically appearing on the blank white paper you just placed in a developing solution must have been very stimulating. For most it was a solitary process, there were probably more than a few artists who beat off in those rooms.

The running water and time they were locked away probably caught a number of hobbyists short. I wonder if a few of them had thunder buckets. There would be stories of people opening the door and ruining photographs, there were probably a few stories of embarrassed artists being caught in compromising situations as well. Was it worse if your wife caught you jacking off to her still wet image? Or if she brought her niece down to see your setup and they saw your limp dick as you were pissing into a mason jar, unable to stop in mid-flow and tuck it away.

The situation might result in an inside joke about the jams and jellies your wife put up. You would be the butt of the joke.

My friend, Pat Palmer coughed. I realized I was daydreaming again. I handed the phone back to his buddy Manny Guzman. Not sure what to say.

"Sweet huh!" was his comment. He looked proud.

"Ah, yes but you probably should not show those personal photos to your friends." I thought of him more as Pat's friend, but now that he showed me an erotic photo of his lover, I guess I was his friend too. "She might get mad." Or embarrassed, she could break up with him or retaliate. A brief thought of her cornering me and Pat and suggesting she show us the real thing popped unbidden into my head.

Manny was showing the snap to Pat again.

"Naw, she wouldn't mind. She uses this one to plug her site." He laughed, "I got some personal shots that would really piss her off though. You're gonna have to get me real drunk to see 'em though."

I was paying off a debt to Pat. Buying him a celebration drink. My wife Blaze had learned how to gurn from his wife Paula then they entered a contest together. Pat decided if my wife won anything, I would have to buy him a drink because he turned me on to gurning. His Paula won fourth place, so technically he should be the one buying. My Blaze got honorable mention. I honestly did not think it counted, I doubt my wife did either, but it was a plausible excuse to celebrate the love of my life so I agreed to pay up.

Blaze does not like me to drink on an empty stomach so I took him to one of those places known for their appetizers. We were splitting one of those blooming onion things with three different dipping sauces. Sitting at a table, not a bar. I had a frozen margarita. They were drinking long island iced tea. Pat invited Manny along because they usually get together for a beer on Friday. It was a good call because Manny is very outgoing, has memorized a hundred jokes and tells lively stories. I tend to be a quiet introvert.

The three of us work for the same company. I think of myself as a business analyst. It is not any part of my job description though. I have my own office with my name on the door and stock options at the end of the year. Pat could generously be described as a middle manager. Manny is a stevedore in the stockroom and spends his time on the loading dock. I spend my time reading reports, then four times a year I circulate a short list of the pearls I have found. I will rarely have a flash of insight and include that in my report as well, that is why I think of myself as an analyst.

Apparently, Chula, Manny's girlfriend is a webcam model. She works from her studio at home. Manny says she made $65k last year. Most of what she does is flirting and teasing. Live chat with lonely guys. 90% of it is innocent fun according to Manny. Is the other 10% not innocent or not fun? Both?

He says it does not make him jealous and he will actually go watch her show in person if he is off.

"She always puts me to work. I man a camera or operate the mike if I'm there. She pays me in hugs and kisses." He smirked. I think his vision of us is old fossils. A young stud behind the camera. I wonder if he pulls out his dick to motivate his artistic girlfriend?

He was holding out another picture of Chula. She was on her hands and knees in a large bath tub looking in the viewer's direction as if she just noticed you were there. She has a small smile on her a face. I don't know what she is thinking. "Am I taking too long in the bath?" or maybe "Did you need to use the restroom?" Ninety-five percent of her is out of the water.

The tub has a huge number of those yellow rubber duckies floating in it. Wasn't there a song about "Rubber duckie you're the one, you make bath time so much fun?" I have a feeling the rubber ducks are supposed to be very erotic.

The part that has me totally baffled is that she is wearing clothes. I have heard there are some cults that wear clothes even bathing, but this is probably lingerie. Red again. Her favorite color? I have to admit the skimpy outfit is more arousing than nudity, I mean after all you expect a person to be nude in the bath tub.

I consider the possibility she is cleaning the bath tub. She really is not dressed for cleaning though. Shouldn't you remove the ducks first?

"Haw! That really got his motor running!" Manny is lightly punching Pat on the shoulder. I gingerly hand him back his phone wondering how I could ask him to send the photo to me. I would really like to examine it in depth on a big screen. Maybe blow up certain parts. I realize I am still holding his phone. I'm hogging the camera phone again! I reluctantly hand it back.

The last picture is her in a turtle neck sweater and jeans. She is leaning against a tree in the park. It's just a nice photo, not really erotic at all. I don't think she is even wearing make up. No, this is probably her 'no makeup look'. She has sort of a puzzled look on her face as if she is wondering "Why are you taking a picture of this?" She is looking straight at me again.

Didn't the old time art critics object if subjects in portraits focused directly at you? It was considered cheating I think. Like breaking the fourth wall.

"Manny, has Pat ever talked to you about gurning?"

Epilog

I brought Blaze a gift when I came home Friday night. It was not that special, just a favorite bath oil. I had them wrap it in fancy paper though. The clerk was able to get the rubber duck I provided to stick on top of the package somehow. The clerk announced it was very cute. I suppose it was.

Dinner was almost ready when I got home. I could smell lasagna and garlic bread. There would be a simple salad with Italian dressing as well. Blaze was intrigued with the gift, I was embarrassed. It was almost more of a gag gift, I kind of wanted to take it back and get her something better, but she seemed happy enough with it.

We sat down to an incredible dinner and I started to wonder if there was a way to get her to wear that cute apron with the lacy border and the dishwashing gloves that go up to her elbows to clean the bath tub. If she did, would she let me take a snap-shot?

"My new friend Manny says his girlfriend is interested in learning how to gurn. Would it be alright to invite them to the barbeque this weekend?" I asked as I poured her second glass of wine.