The Pretend Friend Ch. 07

It was a busy day with a new film release, and I ended up staying two hours after my shift to help with the crowd.

With all of the busyness, I didn't get to see Charlotte at all. We hadn't talked since last night after leaving the beach, where Olivia invited me to her hotel room. Charlotte had merely encouraged me to go with a smile, but when I woke up this morning, all I could think about was Charlotte and our almost-kiss.

That all went to the back of my mind once I stepped into the busy theater, but now as I left, my thoughts drifted back to Charlotte when I noticed that her car was gone from her usual spot.

I sent Olivia a message asking her if she wanted to meet tonight since she was leaving tomorrow. As I waited for her reply, I decided to do some shopping for Nox, who Noah told me had responded to his new name for the first time.

It was nearly 10pm when I finished shopping, and I was unloading things from the car when Olivia texted me back with an address. I stared at it for a few moments, wondering if she mistakingly sent me the message, but then she called me not long after.

"Oli--"

"Jessssssssss!"

Wincing, I pulled the phone away from my ear and put it on speaker instead.

"Can you come pick me up?" she slurred.

"How drunk are you?" I asked as I carried the last of the stuff from the car into the house.

"So so so drunk," she giggled.

"Just stay there. I'll come pick you up."

She blew out a breath. "You're the best fuck I've ever had, you know?"

Rolling my eyes, I got into the car again and started the engine. "Olivia, don't go anywhere. I'll be there soon."

She giggled again before she shouted, "Oh my god, Charlotte's --"

Then the call cut off before I could hear the rest. My stomach twisted at the mention of Charlotte's name. Was she there too? Was she drunk?

I remembered her breath against my mouth, her fingers buried in my sides, and the way her eyes glimmered with laughter and warmth in the night.

My head fell forward on the steering wheel, and I accidentally hit the horn, which was loud enough to jerk me back into reality.

God, this was crazy. I felt like I was going insane.

--------------

The house was more like a mansion and a half-hour drive away. It was bustling with a large crowd and music when I arrived, and I felt completely out of place walking up the stone steps in my slacks and blouse.

The door was already wide open, so I just stepped in and glanced around the foyer, not knowing where to even start looking. I decided to call her instead, and Olivia immediately picked up. She was still slurring and didn't provide much of an answer, but I heard loud splashes in the background. As I moved through the house, I caught a glimpse of the pool lights behind a curtain and searched for the back door.

Drunken bodies stumbled around, and I dodged them as I navigated through the house. Smoke clouded the space, and the mix of colognes and perfumes made me nauseous. I had been to parties before, not something so extravagant and big like this, but I had never enjoyed them. I always preferred staying at home with Noah.

Finally, I found the door to the balcony, and I stepped out just as someone leapt off the railing. I rushed towards him in panic, but there was a loud splash soon after. When I leaned over the railing, I sighed in relief when I saw him emerge from the pool.

There was a loud, familiar voice cheering from the side, and I found Olivia sitting on the edge of the pool, her legs half-submerged in the water. She was sitting next to a couple of people, talking loudly to them before she paused to knock back the rest of the beer in her bottle.

I took the steps down to the pool and quickly strode towards her. Olivia looked up just before I reached her, and a grin stretched across her face.

"Jess, you don't mind grabbing me another bottle?" She waved the empty bottle in her hand and jumped up to her feet.

Both of our eyes widened at the same time when she swayed, and I quickly rushed towards her just as she tilted backwards. Her hand wrapped around my wrist, but it was too late as she fell back and pulled me down with her.

One second, I was breathing air. The next, I was drowning. Water filled my lungs and burned my eyes. I tried to push up, but there was too much pressure. It felt like hands pushing me down, deeper into the water.

Noah flashed across my mind. Noah, with his sweet smile and bubbling laugh. Noah, when I took him to the aquarium for the first time, and his eyes had widened in excitement and awe. Noah, when I held him for the first time in my arms, his newborn face scrunched adorably as he cried, and I had cried too.

Firm hands gripped me, and I was jerked back into the drowning and darkness. I fought against it, but it was stronger. And then I felt myself being pulled up. The darkness gave way to light, and then those hands tightened around me and pulled harder.

I emerged with a gasp, and coughed out the water from my lungs. Water still splashed against my face, and I realized with a panic that I was still in the pool. My eyes shot around, dizzy and unfocused, until I felt firm fingers grip my face, and then my eyes finally settled on the face in front of me.

Charlotte's hazel eyes were steady and calm against the backdrop of everything else.

"Jess, you're okay," she said, her voice as firm as her grip.

The pressure in my chest lightened, and I sobbed out in relief. Immediately, she moved in and wrapped her arms around me tightly.

"It's okay," she whispered into my ear. "I'm here, Jess. I'm here."

I buried my face into her neck and cried harder.

--------------

Apparently, I had only been in the water for less than a minute. Charlotte hadn't been far away when she saw Olivia and I fall into the water, and she immediately jumped in when only Olivia came back up.

Thankfully, no one had noticed what had happened, and when Charlotte and I came out of the pool, fully clothed and drenched, no one blinked an eye either. It sent a shiver through me.

The water seemed to have sober Olivia up a little bit too. While she didn't apologize for dragging me into the water, she was quick to rush us upstairs into a bedroom to change.

I asked her if she knew who the room belonged to, but she merely shook her head and said she didn't even know who the house belonged to. Charlotte had scoffed at her answer, and that was when I noticed the tension between the two of them. They didn't look at each other the entire time, and Olivia was quick to leave after dropping us off.

The walk-in closet was expansive, to say the least. I was overwhelmed as I looked around at the different fabrics and colors, and I felt bad at the thought of taking someone's clothes and dirtying it.

Charlotte seemed unbothered, however, and when I turned back to her, she had already stripped out of her shirt and pants, leaving herself in nothing but a matching set of black bra and underwear. My eyes ran over her tanned skin, taking in the sight of her toned stomach and the way her legs flexed as she reached up to unhook a shirt from the hanger.

As she began to turn back towards me, I quickly averted my gaze to the shirts in front of me and grabbed the first thing my eyes landed on, which was a pink blouse. It was hideous.

"That's not you at all," Charlotte breathed out a laugh, and I felt her presence land beside me. Still very much pantless and shirtless, she reached over me to thumb through the clothes until her fingers paused, and then I felt her arm brushed against my hair as she reached up to unhook the shirt. She spun around, and I reluctantly turned to meet her gaze, making sure to keep my eyes raised. "This is more like you."

It was a simple sleeveless shirt, black and plain with no frills or ruffles. She was right. It was more like me.

I took the shirt from her hands, and she hung the pink blouse back up.

"And..." Charlotte stepped around me as I pulled my shirt off, her eyes searching the pants section. "Ah, here we go."

She spun around with the selected pants in hand and paused. Her eyes fell to my chest, which I suddenly remembered was covered by a white bra. I looked down to see my nipples, still hard from the cold water, poking through the bra, which had grown more transparent from being wet.

I looked back up and caught her cheeks beginning to flush before I quickly pulled the shirt on. Charlotte cleared her throat, her eyes dragging back up to my face as she handed me the dark jeans.

"Thanks," I mumbled, and she gave a single nod before turning away.

It was quiet for the few minutes that we finished changing. The jeans were a little loose and long on me, so I ended up rolling up the ankles. My shoes were still wet, so I just picked it up along with my clothes and walked barefoot back out to the bedroom. I dropped them on the floor and sat down on the windowsill as I waited for Charlotte to finish.

Part of the pool was visible from the window, and my body tightened when I remembered the feeling of drowning. Charlotte had held me for I didn't even know how long as I cried, and she still held onto me when we followed Olivia here.

"Are you okay?" Charlotte's voice snapped my attention over to her, where she stood in the closet's doorway. She had chosen a striped skirt to go with a plain, white v-neck sweater.

I nodded slowly. "Thank you. I didn't get to say it before, but thank you."

"Of course, Jess, I--" She took a step towards me, her fingers twisting together. "I'm sorry Liv dragged you here."

I shrugged offhandedly. "It's okay. She seemed really drunk, and I wanted to make sure she got back safe."

"But you know you don't have to do that. You could have called me, considering she called me here anyway," Charlotte said as she frowned.

I was beginning to get the feeling that she was upset, but I didn't know from what.

"It's honestly fine, Charlotte," I said carefully, gauging her reaction. "Did I do something wrong?"

Charlotte's lips tightened as her eyes hardened. My stomach twisted uncomfortably. I hated when she was mad at me, and even more so when I didn't know what I did to upset her.

Charlotte took a couple steps towards me, her frown deepening. "It's not that. It's just... you are just so infuriating sometimes."

Infuriating.

The way she said it, the restrained anger in her voice. It sliced across my chest, and unable to hold her gaze, I dropped it to my lap.

I opened my mouth to apologize, but then she spoke again.

"How can you let Olivia treat you like that?" she snapped, her voice trembling with so much fury as if she was losing control of it. It was so rare for Charlotte to lose her composure. She was usually good at hiding --

But wait.

I slowly looked up to meet her angry gaze again and was surprised to see her standing just a few feet away. When had she shifted closer?

"Olivia?"

"You are not her girlfriend, Jess. You don't fetch her a beer when she demands one or come pick her up from a party straight after work. She is an adult. She can get her own beers and get an Uber home." Charlotte's hands waved around as she began to pace. I continued to stare at her with shock. "She doesn't respect you. She's just stringing you along and using you for --" Her face flushed, but she still didn't stop pacing. "For sex. She -- I heard her talking to someone earlier, and it just... god, Jess, you just take whatever people give you, and you hold it all in even though I know it must hurt."

She was saying so much, which she usually did when she was on an emotional rant. I loved seeing it because she was usually so composed, and it made me feel special that she trusted me enough to let out her thoughts like this.

But now I was so confused because it seemed like she was mad at me but also more mad at Olivia, and I still didn't know what she was so angry about.

"What did you hear Olivia say?" I decided to ask because perhaps that was what led to all of this.

Charlotte rubbed her hands down her face. "I--It's nothing you need to hear."

"Just tell me."

"I don't want to tell you," she said stubbornly. "You're just going to overthink and internalize it, and everything she said was not only rude but also not true at all."

"Charlotte, please," I sighed, and she stopped pacing to look at me now. "Just tell me. I can take it."

The angry lines on her face softened just a fraction. "Then promise me you won't take what she said seriously."

It was so ridiculous I wanted to laugh, but she still looked serious so I suppressed my smile and nodded.

Charlotte looked down at her fingers as she fiddled with them and took a couple of more steps towards me. "I heard her say that you were just a good lay and that there wasn't anything serious going on between you two. She made some comments about your job and other things that I--"

"Like what?"

Charlotte chewed on her lips as her eyes flickered to my patient ones, and she let out a long exhale. "She said she wouldn't be with someone who dropped out of high school and works at a movie theater." Then Charlotte quickly stepped even closer, her eyes wide with so much concern that it made my stomach flutter. "But Jess, all of it is just nonsense, okay? Olivia has always been a bitch."

I really wanted to make a comment about her cursing, but the pang in my chest made the joke died on my tongue.

I didn't expect anything Olivia said to be hurtful because she was right after all, but it affected me more that Charlotte heard all of that. I didn't know why, but it did.

"But she's not wrong," I said quietly, and Charlotte's gaze sharpened. I looked away. "I do make minimum wage at a theater, and I did drop out of high school. I had a kid at eighteen, which I love Noah and I don't regret having him, but I don't always have time to go on dates or parties. This is the only week in the year that I can do things like that, and I still worry about him. I worry if he's having fun, if he's safe even though he's not that far away, and if he misses his bed. I'm not the sort of person who people date or settle down with."

Did it suck that I couldn't do all of that? It used to hurt more, but I had long accepted that I wasn't normal nor was my life. I had attempted relationships with other women, but it never worked out. Laura didn't want to settle down, Katie didn't want a relationship other than sex, and Olivia was the same.

I was the problem, and it was... fine. I had Noah, the band, and now Charlotte. They were all I needed.

Warm fingers grazed my cheek, and I looked up as Charlotte settled her palm against it. I expected to see pity, but her gaze was much warmer and enflamed. The knot in my chest slowly began to unravel.

"You are exactly the person anyone would be lucky enough to settle down with," she said vehemently, and a lump formed in my throat as I held her gaze. "Who the fuck cares if you work at a movie theater? You have a great kid, a job, and a home all while pursuing music on the side. Also, you got your GED, not that it's anyone business, but you didn't have to do that but did it anyway. You are a super, super, super amazing person, Jess, and if no one can see that, then that's their problem, not yours."

"You said fuck." I couldn't help but point it out now, and she scowled.

"Jess, I'm serious."

I laughed. "I know, Charlotte. I believe you, and I..." I swallowed tightly as I felt tears prickle my eyes from the warmth that had bursted through my chest during her rant. "Thank you. For saying all of that."

It meant a lot more that it came from Charlotte, and I realized now that I was more worried about how she thought of me or if she shared the same thoughts as Olivia. I didn't care what Olivia thought of me. I barely knew her.

But with Charlotte, everything mattered.

Suddenly, I was engulfed by her when she leaned in and wrapped her arms around me. Her hair pressed against my face, and I liked that I could still smell her perfume despite the chlorine.

"She won't bother you again," Charlotte murmured against my ear, and my eyes began to flutter shut before I registered what she said.

"Hold on, did you say something to her?"

Charlotte slowly pulled away, her eyes already alert and ready with a defense. "Well, I wasn't going to just let it go!"

"Char--"

"She was straight up disrespectful, Jess, and I would never be able to live with myself if I let her continue to use you while saying those stupid things behind your back." She placed her hands on her hips with finality and raised a brow as if she was challenging me to argue against her.

I couldn't possibly argue against something that made my heart beat a million times faster. Instead, I disguised my emotions with a grin. "Thank you for defending my honor."

Her cheeks flushed slightly, and my grin widened. Leave it up to Charlotte to feel embarrassed after being her amazing self.

Something crossed her face, however, and she chewed on her lip. "I'm sorry if you really liked her, and I ruined things for you."

A laugh bubbled up my throat. "She and I were just having sex. It wasn't serious at all, and we both knew that."

"Oh."

"I am sad that I won't be able to have sex with her anymore," I sighed dramatically. "She was fun despite being a bitch."

Charlotte turned away, but I caught the red on her cheeks deepening. "You'll find someone else."

"Maybe," I scoffed lightly. "Maybe I'll just go back to Laura."

She suddenly spun around, her eyes narrowed into tiny slits, and I eased back against the window when she stomped back to me.

"I did not just do all of that for you to go straight back to Laura," she snapped.

"What's wrong with Laura?"

"She's not good enough for you!"

I frowned. "She's my friend, Charlotte. I know she seems a little over the place or whatever, but she has been there a lot for Noah and I."

"I'm not saying she's a bad friend. I swear that's not what I meant," she exasperated. "I'm sure she is a great person, but you need someone who wants to be with you and Noah in all of the ways that matter. Someone who's stable and present and --"

"What, someone like you?" I blurted out, and Charlotte's eyes widened at the same time as mine.

"I -- that's not --"

"Relax. It was a joke," I muttered even though my face felt so hot, and a pang shot through me with her rejection. "Plus, you're straight, so obviously I was joking."

"Right," she exhaled, and I averted my gaze to the floor. "All I'm saying is you deserve someone just as amazing as you."

I just nodded and hoped that she would leave or change the topic because I didn't have the energy for it anymore.

"Jess, please say something."

"I don't know what else you want me to say," I snapped. "I've given up on love a long time ago, and the last thing I need is you harping in my ear about finding the right person and all that when it just isn't in the cards for me."

She sucked in a sharp breath and then expelled it. "You can't honestly mean that."

"There is no one for me, Charlotte. I've tried, and I'm tired of trying." My eyes snapped back up to meet her stunned ones. "I know your heart is in the right place, but it's not that serious for me anymore. I'm --"

Charlotte ducked her head and pressed her lips to mine.

Feeling exploded through my body and overloaded my senses. I was frozen still, my eyes wide open as I tried to register how Charlotte's lips had ended up against mine. But then just as quickly as it started, her lips began to slow, growing more hesitant and stiff. She began to pull away, but I wasn't ready to let her go.

As my mind finally caught up, I let my eyes flutter shut, wrapped an arm around Charlotte's waist, and pulled her closer. Her lips grew firm against mine again, and I widened my legs for her to lean against the sill between them.

I traced her lips with my tongue, and to my delight, she responded and parted them for me.

Kissing Charlotte was unlike anything I've ever felt before. It felt a lot like falling into water again, but instead of drowning, I was floating on the surface, light and buoyant. I much preferred this feeling.

Everything just suddenly felt... right.

Her breath was hot as it caressed my skin and filled my mouth, and her lips, soft and plump, slid and moved against mine so perfectly.

Charlotte had lost her hesitance, and her tongue wrestled with as much fervor as mine. If kissing Charlotte was always this good and perfect, then I never wanted to stop.

Suddenly, the door burst open, and loud music pooled into the room. Charlotte jerked away, and my eyes snapped open at the same time as hers. There was a quick apology before the room fell silent again, but the moment had already been ruined.

It only worsened when Charlotte tore her gaze away from mine with the most regretful expression on her face. My stomach plummeted.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

I pushed myself up towards her, but she quickly shook her head and backed towards the door.

"Charlotte, lets just talk --"

"I shouldn't have done that," she rushed breathily and opened the door, her gaze flittering and landing anywhere but me. "We -- I'm sorry. I have to go."

Then she slipped out the door before I could stop her, and I was too shocked and hurt to follow.

--------------

I didn't know how long I stayed in that room for, but I didn't leave until a couple came barreling into the room. They didn't even glance over at me as they kissed their way towards the bed, and I quickly picked up my clothes and shoes and left the room to them.

The party seemed to have died down a little, but the music was still pounding. For once, I actually preferred it because it distracted me from the thoughts flooding my mind.

I walked and weaved around the house, trying to find my way out. It was like a fucking maze here, and I wondered why I ever wanted to live in a place like this when I was younger. Now that I was older, all I wanted was a simple home, one that could fit Noah and I while still having space for our friends.

A home like I had with Maeve.

I finally found the entrance and stumbled out of the house. The night was warm with a slight breeze, and it was a relief from all of the heat from inside. Exhausted and drained, I plopped down on the stone steps and dropped my face into my hands.

Out here with nothing but my silence, all I could think about was Charlotte's lips and the way her body had melted against mine. We had fitted together so perfectly, and I didn't realize how much I wanted to kiss her until she kissed me.

Charlotte kissed me first, and then she ran away.

It was all so confusing.

"I thought you would have left by now."

I didn't turn to look at Olivia as she sat down beside me, but I answered, "I still have to drive you back."

She was quiet for a moment, but I felt her gaze on the side of my face. I finally turned to meet it, and then Olivia leaned in and kissed me. It was a gentle one, soft and all lips, and absolutely different from the many times we kissed before.

Thoughts of Charlotte crept back into my mind, and my lips faltered. Olivia pulled back, and her eyes skimmed over my face before she leaned away and tilted her head up to look at the sky. I continued looking at her, confused.

"You should get Charlotte," she said quietly. "She's been drinking, so she'll need a ride as well."

I immediately stood up. "Do you know where she is?"

"Last time I saw her, she was in the kitchen."

I headed towards the door, but before I went back inside, I glanced over my shoulder. Olivia was still staring up at the sky in silence, and after a few seconds, I left her to it to go find Charlotte.

It took some navigating again, but I finally found the kitchen. There wasn't as many people in there, so I found Charlotte easily.

My stomach plummeted when my eyes landed on her. She was sitting on the counter as a guy stood in between her legs, kissing her. Her arms were draped over his shoulders, her eyes closed, and I saw a flash of her tongue as she sucked on his lips.

I knew I shouldn't have been angry. Not when Olivia and I had just kissed a moment ago and had done much more before, but Charlotte had kissed me first. She had kissed me, called it a mistake, and then immediately found someone else to kiss.

My skin was burning, which only intensified when Charlotte's eyes opened and widened when she saw me. She pushed the guy away and slid off the counter. Her mouth opened but no words came out. It took everything in me to not walk away because it was clear that she had been drinking. Her cheeks were flushed red, and when she took a couple of step towards me, she swayed a little.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw the guy reached for Charlotte, and I immediately closed the distance between her and I and grabbed her hand. The guy said something, but neither of us paid him any attention as I pulled her out of the kitchen. Quiet, she followed me without protest.

Olivia was still sitting on the steps when we made it outside, but she slowly stood, her eyes glancing between the both of us. I immediately dropped Charlotte's hand and walked past Olivia as I descended the steps.

Charlotte called out for me. "Jess, wait--"

"My car is parked down this way," I interrupted without stopping.

"Can we just--"

"It's been a fucking long day, and I'm tired," I snapped. "So please just let me drop both of you off, so I can go home and rest."

She didn't say anything else, but the sound of footsteps indicated that they were still following me.

Surprisingly, Olivia didn't fight for the front seat, but unfortunately that meant Charlotte taking the seat instead.

It was half an hour drive back with complete silence. Olivia had dozed off in the back seat. I avoided looking at Charlotte the entire time, but I felt her gaze flicker to me throughout the drive.

Olivia's hotel was the first stop, and sensing the arrival, Olivia peeled her eyes open and yawned loudly. It was the first human sound since we left the house.

"Jess, can you walk me upstairs?" Olivia asked.

As much as I didn't feel like doing that at all, I gave her a nod anyway, and I saw Charlotte cross her arms from the corner of my eyes. I left the car running and followed Olivia inside. She looped her arm through mine and leaned against my shoulder as we took the elevator up.

We remained quiet as I walked her to the door, and when we arrived, Olivia didn't move to unlock it. Instead, she pulled her arm away from mine and turned to face me.

"Did Charlotte tell you what I said?" she asked.

I nodded.

Olivia didn't look regretful nor guilty, but she let out a sigh and shrugged her shoulders as if to say, oh well.

I wasn't expecting much of a reaction from her anyway, so I didn't care.

"You are a good person, Jess," she said, and that, I was surprised by. "I think I might actually miss you when I leave."

I merely stared at her, not knowing what to say.

Olivia's lips tugged into a smirk, and she stepped towards me. Her lips looked redder than before, but maybe it was because it was brighter in here than outside.

"I wish we could have one more night," she whispered as she leaned in closer. "But you need to drop Charlotte off."

"I could come back," I found myself offering half-heartedly and immediately thought of Charlotte's lips against mine.

Olivia shook her head, her smirk widening before she fully leaned in. I closed my eyes, but she didn't kiss my lips. Instead, Olivia pressed a firm kiss to the side of my neck, along with the slight graze of her teeth.

Then she stepped back and dragged her gaze up from my neck to my face. Olivia's lipstick was slightly smeared. She reached up to gently stroke the area where she had kissed me before she dropped her hand.

"Goodnight, Jess," she said quietly and finally drew the key card out of her purse.

"Night," I murmured.

Olivia glanced at me one last time before she entered her room and let the door close behind her.

--------------

Charlotte let out a scoff when I got back in the car.

"What?" I asked, looking over at her, but she turned her gaze out the window. "Charlotte."

She clenched her jaw and remained silent. Sighing, I decided to let it go and started my way to her apartment. If she didn't want to talk, then fine.

I wasn't the one who kissed her first, but it was fucking fine. If she wanted to play the silent game, then that was what I'd give her.

The drive to her apartment was only about ten minutes from Olivia's hotel, and I remained silent even long after I parked the car. Charlotte stayed there, arms crossed and jaw set, as she glared out the window. I almost broke the silence to tell her that we were here, but as angry as I was, I couldn't kick her out of the car.

And as angry as I was, Charlotte was still my friend. Even though she kissed me first and then kissed someone else right after and was angry at me now.

"Did you fuck her again?"

My head whipped around so fast, I heard a crack. "What?"

Charlotte turned her steely gaze to me. "You and Olivia. You were up there for a while."

"Because she's on the eleventh floor!" I exasperated because why was she bringing Olivia and I up again?

"I see her lipstick on your neck," she snapped, and my hands shot up to wipe at my neck. Surely enough, red smudged my left fingers. "She marked you for me to see because she's angry that I told her off."

I flipped down the visor and there it was, like fucking lights on a Christmas tree. It was faint and smudged from me wiping it, but the shape of her lips were still visible.

"It wasn't..." I began to say, but disbelief crossed her face as she reached for the door. "Charlotte, why did you kiss me?"

She grew completely still, and I clamped my mouth shut as my heart pounded. I hadn't meant to ask her that, but it was the first thing that came out of my mouth in a panic.

The air grew stiff as the silence dragged on, but neither of us moved. I didn't expect her to answer, but now that I had asked, I wanted to know. Why had she kissed me, and why was she so angry at the thought of Olivia and I having sex again?

It was almost as if she was jealous, but that would entail having feelings for me.

But we were friends, so she said.

Finally, I heard her take in a small breath before she answered, "I told you I shouldn't have done that."

Hearing those words again, my chest painfully throbbed, but I wasn't about to take that as the answer. Not when she still didn't answer the question.

"But why?" I pressed. "Why did you--"

"Because I felt bad for you!" she snapped, and the twisting pain in my chest sharpened. "Because you were saying all of these depressing things about love, and you seemed lonely--"

"I don't need your fucking pity," I seethed, and her wide eyes snapped back to meet mine. "Just because I'm not in a relationship doesn't mean I'm lonely. I have Noah and the girls, and I thought I had you."

Hurt flashed across her face. "You do have me."

I couldn't stand to look at her anymore, or else the guilt would have been too much. I was too angry and hurt to let it go, but I knew that if I looked at her long enough, I would cave. Charlotte had that much of an effect on me, and she didn't even know it.

I was used to being pitied. I had been pitied since my parents abandoned me, and while growing up, it made me angry and lash out. Overtime, I learned to shrug off those looks because I couldn't get in a fight with everyone, especially when I had a kid to take care of now.

But now Charlotte's pity was making me feel like that powerless kid again, and it sucked a whole fucking lot.

"Jess, I--"

"Go inside, Charlotte," I sighed exhaustedly. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"That's not fair."

A humorless laugh broke through my lips because how dare she? I turned back to her. "What's not fair is that you kissed me out of fucking pity and then left without talking to me about it, but now I owe you a conversation? What the fuck, Charlotte?"

She grimaced. "I messed up."

"You sure fucking did."

"But you do have me," she said softly, and I stiffened. "You're my best friend, Jess, and I don't want this to mess that up."

I stayed silent, not knowing what else to say.

"Jess, I'm really sorry."

Sorry she had kissed me. Sorry she had pitied me.

"This won't mess us up. You're still my best friend," I slowly said and meant it. "But I need some time to think."

"Think about what?"

"I don't know, Charlotte. Just think."

She released a quiet sigh, and a few moments later, I heard her door pop open. Still, I didn't meet her gaze.

"I'll text you?" she asked, and I merely gave her a nod.

I kept my eyes ahead the entire time while she exited the car, and I didn't look until I knew she was close to her front door. She pulled out her keys and reached for the knob and paused. My heart hammered as I watched her.

Then she inserted the key and opened the door. I released a long breath and leaned back against my seat as I kept my gaze on the door even after she had shut it.

I couldn't get the image of her hurt expression out of my mind. Even though it was her fault we were even fighting in the first place, I didn't mean to imply that she was no longer part of my life, especially after I had disappeared on her ten years ago.

The guilt was gnawing at me now, and as I continued to stare at her apartment, I realized that she never turned on her lights. Even the upstair windows remained dark. Perhaps her bedroom window faced the back or something, but the uncomfortable feeling didn't leave my stomach.

Charlotte didn't like the dark. That much I knew.

I exited the car and made my way up to her door. I had to check on her because she was still my best friend, kiss or not. I rapt on the door and tapped my foot impatiently as I waited.

Only a few seconds passed before I knocked again, but then the door opened mid-knock, revealing a teary-eyed Charlotte with the dark apartment behind her.

I didn't even hesitate as I stepped forward and grasped her face in my hands. "Charlotte, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like our friendship was over, or that I was leaving you. I was hurt and confused, but I don't want you to think that things are ruined between us."

She launched forward and threw her arms around me, and I immediately hugged her back. Soon after, I felt her tears soak the front of my shirt, and I tightened my arms.

"The light wouldn't turn on. I didn't know what to do, and you were mad," she sniffled into my chest. "Fuck, I hate crying."

"You've cursed so many times tonight. I think I'm starting to rub off on you," I teased quietly.

Charlotte slowly pulled away and rubbed her eyes furiously with her fists. I gently pulled her hands away, and she looked up at me with a guarded expression. Offering her a small smile, I reached up and gently wiped her tears away with my thumbs.

"You're a pretty crier," I said, and that earned me a quiet scoff from her.

"You can barely see my face."

"I see enough," I said. "Besides, you were the one who taught me to see people's faces through touch."

Despite the dark, I still saw her brows furrowed, and under my fingers, I felt the way her cheeks tightened and her eyes squeezed when she did so.

Then she reached up to cup my face in her hands. I closed my eyes when her fingers began to roam, feeling out the crevices and lines.

"What do you see?" I asked.

She traced the creases below my eyes and let her fingers drift down my cheeks. Charlotte didn't respond, but I could hear her breath quickening. I was holding mine.

"I didn't kiss you out of pity," Charlotte whispered. "I didn't even think about anything when I did it."

Her fingers landed on the side of my neck, and I felt my pulse throb against her fingers. Could she feel how fast it was racing for her?

She released a small, trembling breath. "I kissed you because I wanted to."

I felt the lines on her face smooth out, and she released another shorter breath that sounded more steady. My fingers trailed down to feel for the pulse on her neck, and my heart stuttered when I found it.

"Jess, please say something," she whispered.

I kissed her instead. It was an open-mouth, ravenous sort of kiss as I sucked and nipped her with my tongue. I felt her hand drift down to clench my shirt, and she pulled me in. I had half a mind left to push the door close behind me before pinning her to the wall, rattling the frames above us.

Charlotte slid her arms up to drape over my shoulders, and I let my hands land on her hips, which squirmed and thrusted against mine with need.

My lips trailed down to leave kisses on her neck as I toyed with the waistband of her skirt. She moaned my name softly, shooting a shiver through my body, and my lips faltered.

I pulled back to look at her, and her eyes fluttered open to meet mine. The hazel shone brighter in the dark, and I read the pure desire and desperation in them.

She wanted this as much as I did. She needed it.

"I want to make you cum right here, right now," I said.

Her lips, pink and swollen, parted as her eyes widened. "I..."

"Or I can leave," I offered quietly. "But I really don't want to."

"No, it's not that," she said quickly, her eyes searching mine. "I just... I don't want to disappoint you."

"Disappoint me?"

She released a short breath, and I had a feeling that her cheeks were flushed. "I've never... orgasmed with a person before."

Shock hit me full force, and I exhaled in disbelief. "You're kidding."

Charlotte tried to turn her face away, but I shook myself out of my shock and tilted her head up to fully meet my gaze. "What about that guy from yesterday? At the beach?"

She blew out a breath, which fanned my lips, and I so desperately wanted to kiss her again but refrained.

"We just kissed, but I didn't want him. I wanted --" she cut herself off before saying, "I had to go to my car and just..."

Her cheeks grew warmer in my hands, and I knew immediately what she meant. My heart thudded, remembering her flushed cheeks and her relaxed smile at the beach. It had felt shitty when I thought she had slept with him, but now knowing what I knew...

My grip on her face tightened. "Charlotte, please give me the pleasure of giving you your first orgasm."

I didn't have to see her face to know that she scowled, especially when she shoved me away. "I've had an orgasm before!"

"Just not with a person," I laughed and annoyance flashed in those beautiful eyes. I stepped closer to her again and rested my hands on her hips. She didn't push me away again. "I want to be that person for you."

"But we're friends," she stressed, and as her feet shifted, I knew she was feeling the urge to pace. I tightened my grip to keep her steady. "We -- I don't want to ruin what we have."

"We won't ruin anything," I reassured her, but the doubt still remained in her eyes. "We can still be friends." I leaned closer and heard her inhale quietly. "Who kiss sometimes." I ducked my head and pressed a gentle kiss to her jaw. "And fuck." She shivered, and my lips drifted up to graze her ear. "With multiple, mind-blowing orgasms."

She balled my shirt up in her hands, and I heard her swallow. "So no strings attached? Just sex?"

"No strings. Just sex and friendship," I confirmed and leaned back to look at her. Her eyes, still doubtful but filled with want, searched mine. "What will it be, Charlotte?"

From the look on her eyes and the way she was clutching onto me, I already knew her answer, but I needed to hear her say it.

But Charlotte didn't say anything. She merely pulled me down and kissed me hard, and then it was like lightning with how fast we were pulling each other's clothes off.

"Bedroom?" I murmured against her lips after pulling off her shirt.

She tugged at my pants, and I pushed it down before quickly pressing myself against her again and leaned in to suck on the skin below her ear.

"I thought you wanted to take me here," she panted.

"Your first orgasm will not be against a wall, Charlotte." With one tug, her skirt slid down her legs, and I heard it softly hit the floor. Her breath hitched when I ran my hands down her thighs. "It will be on a bed with my face between these beautiful legs."

"That's -- oh!" A moan escaped her lips when I pulled her bra down and licked her nipple into my mouth. Her fingers slid into my hair. "Down the hallway. First door on the right."

I released her nipple and leaned back to grin at her. "Good girl."

Annoyance flashed across her eyes again. Laughing, I tugged her towards the bedroom before she could scold me, and as soon we stepped inside, Charlotte pushed me onto the bed. I landed on it with a gasp and began to sit up, but she was on top of me, pinning me back down as her lips descended on mine again.

With her sitting on my stomach, grinding her hips gently as she kissed me, I could feel how hot and wet she was through her underwear. It was thrilling and exciting to know that it was all for me.

I reached up to grasp her hips, and as my fingers began to curl into the waistband, she grabbed my wrists and pinned them back down on the bed, beside my head.

"Hands here," she commanded softly against my mouth, and my heart felt like it wanted to beat outside of my chest with how fast it was pounding now.

Leaning back, she peered down at me, a satisfied smirk stretching across her face when I didn't move my hands after she let go of it.

"Good girl," she teased.

Oh, she was going to be the death of me.

My hands shot up to grab her waist and rolled us over before she could stop me. She let out a gasp and blinked up at me in surprise as I grinned at her. With her blonde hair fanned out on the sheets and her chest moving up and down rapidly, she looked so beautiful and irresistible. I felt so lucky to be able to see her like this.

I reached down and slid my hand into her underwear, and we both gasped at the same time.

So soft and warm. I rubbed my fingers down her dripping folds, coating them with her juices, and I watched pleasure ripple across Charlotte's face as she stared back at me, biting down on her lip.

Then she released her lip, and I caught doubt in her eyes again.

My fingers slowed. "Are you okay?"

Her head fell back, and she broke her gaze to stare at the ceiling. "What if I can't orgasm?"

Relief flooded me. Removing my fingers, I leaned down, and our eyes met for a brief moment before I kissed her softly. She responded, her tongue gentle as it caressed mine.

"Then we'll go again," I answered after pulling away, and her brows furrowed. "We'll keep going until I make you cum."

Surprise flashed across her face, and I wanted to chuckle but refrained for her sake. "How long can you keep going?"

I laughed, then. "Babe, I can go for as long as you can keep up."

She continued to stare at me with that open-mouthed surprise, and it was such an adorable sight to see her so non-composed and open that I kissed her again. Her fingers slid into my hair again, curling into the strands.

I wedged my hand in between her back and the mattress, and she lifted herself enough for me to find the clasp and unhook her bra with a quick flick of my fingers. Charlotte laid back down as I tossed the bra off before attaching my lips to her breasts.

"Jess," she moaned softly.

"Charlotte," I said through a mouthful of her breast, and she giggled. It shot flutters through my stomach, and I detached my lips to kiss down her body. I couldn't wait anymore. I needed to taste her.

I planted small kisses on her chest, stomach, hips.

Her fingers slid out of my hair to clench the sheets when I reached her sex. Her aroma filled my nose, clouding my senses with pure want. I curled my fingers into her waistband, and Charlotte didn't stop me when I drew her underwear down.

In the dark, I couldn't see much, but I could feel how drenched she was as my finger traced her slit. She jerked against it, and I spread her legs wide.

"Jess," she whimpered. "I want -- please, your tongue."

I chuckled softly and loved the way her hips jerked again from my breath fanning her. "You want my tongue, babe?"

"Yes," she gasped. "God, yes."

With her begging so earnestly, I couldn't hold back anymore and drew my tongue up her slit, tasting her for the first time.

Fuck, she tasted so good.

I pressed in further, twisting my tongue in between her folds and curling it upwards. She tasted so sweet and perfectly tangy. Charlotte's moans grew louder and breathier, and I felt the sheets tightened underneath me as she pulled at it.

As my tongue continued to pleasure her, I reached in with a finger and slid it in slightly to coat it with her juices. Then I flicked it up and down just on the outside of her folds, and she thrusted against my mouth.

"Oh god!" she screamed out. I quickly looked up, but then she pushed my head back down with a hand. "No, don't stop!"

Chuckling, I licked her again, and her hand didn't leave my hair as she curled her fingers into my scalp and held me there. I pressed my finger into her, and her walls squeezed it tightly as it slid in.

"You're so tight," I murmured, but I doubted that she could hear me through her loud moans.

I moved my finger in and out of her as my tongue probed and searched until I felt the tiny bud hidden beneath her folds. Charlotte screamed again when I flicked my tongue against it, but I didn't look at her this time. I circled her clit with my tongue.

"Oh fuck!" she groaned. "Jess, I -- oh god!"

She was close. I could feel it with how her walls pulsed harder and squeezed my finger even tighter. I flicked my tongue across her clit as I continued to thrust my finger in and out of her. More of her juices flooded my mouth, and I felt it coating my chin.

And then her body shuddered, and she screamed as the orgasm finally rolled through her. I kept going as she jerked and writhed, and her fingers dug deeper into my scalp. Only when her hips collapsed back onto the bed with a final gasp and her fingers in my hair relaxed and nudged at my head did I finally stop. I pulled my finger out, rested my cheek against her sex, and rubbed her still-trembling thighs to soothe her.

For a while, her heavy pants were the only sounds that filled the room. By the time her breaths had grown lighter, she was no longer shaking, but I continued to rub her thighs just because. She was stroking her fingers through my hair, and the moment felt so good I didn't want to break it even though I so wanted to make her cum again.

"I didn't know sex could feel like that," Charlotte finally said, and I laughed.

Her laugher joined mine, and I looked up at her. She lifted her head up to meet my gaze, and her lips widened to match my grin.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." I slid up her body and pressed my lips to hers. We kissed softly, and I felt her fingers caressed my cheek and stroke it.

My body ached for her, and my sex throbbed with need. But this night was about Charlotte. I couldn't believe that she had never gotten an orgasm from anyone before, but I would be lying if I didn't feel a tinge of satisfaction and pride that I was the first to give one to her. To have her scream my name and touch me with need, it was so much more than any orgasm. I wanted to make her feel good, to cum over and over again on my fingers and tongue, and she had a lot of orgasms to catch up on.

As we continued to kiss, I slid my knee in between her legs and parted them wider to press it against her dripping sex. Charlotte let out a soft groan and then a louder one when I rubbed my knee against her puffy lips.

"What are you doing?" she murmured.

"Why, Princess, I'm going for round two."

Her lips faltered, and I moved my mouth down to gently suck on her neck.

"Round two?"

"Mhmm."

"But what about you?" She reached for my waistband, but I pinned her hand down to the bed.

"Tonight is all about you."

"But --"

I silenced her with a kiss and murmured, "I feel good if you feel good."

That seemed good enough of an answer. Her body relaxed, along with her protest. I began to move my knee again, rubbing her gently, and her tongue slowed against mine.

"I might not cum again," she moaned.

"But you might." I nipped her lips, and she groaned quietly.

I wedged my hand down in between my knee and her throbbing sex and slid two fingers in this time.

Fuck.

"You're still so tight," I said and curled my fingers inside of her, flexing them.

She detached her lips from mine with a soft gasp. "Jess."

"Yes, Charlotte?" I curled them again, and her head fell back with a groan. Chuckling, I kissed her neck and slowly slid my fingers in and out of her.

"You're such a bitch sometimes," she sighed, but as I glanced up, I caught the small upturn of her lips.

As a response, I nipped the side of her neck, and her breath hitched. Charlotte's juices were flowing faster, sliding down my fingers and onto my palm. She let out a soft whimper, and my lips slowly stretched into a grin.

"You're going to cum again," I teased.

"No," she shot back defiantly, but another moan escaped her when I stroked her clit with my thumb.

"Yes," I said confidently and then drove my knee forward, thrusting my fingers deeper into her.

Another whimper, much louder and uncontrolled, left her lips, and she fumbled for the sheets again. My knee pushed forward, and I was rewarded when she moaned my name. Her legs tried to squeeze my hand, but my knee blocked her from doing so. I thrusted and stroked her clit, and Charlotte was twisting on the bed now as she tried to fight her orgasm.

My lips descended on her neck again, and I let my teeth graze her collarbone.

She screamed as her body tightened and squeezed my fingers. Her juices overflowed onto the sheets beneath her, and I slowed down my thrusts as she rode out her second orgasm of the night.

Her skin was slick with sweat, and strands of her hair were plastered to her face. Still, she was the most beautiful woman. Even more so now.

I withdrew my fingers and slid down beside her. She curled in, and I wrapped my arms around her, holding and stroking her back as she trembled.

"What was that about not cumming again?" I couldn't help but tease.

"Shut up," she muttered.

Smiling, I pressed a kiss to her temple, and she let out a soft sigh. When Charlotte grew limp, her breaths began to even out in the way that I knew she was falling asleep. I really planned on giving her at least three orgasms, but a lot had happened tonight. She needed her rest.

Even though I was still throbbing from the need for release, I pushed it down and kept my arms around Charlotte. I continued to stroke her back until I knew she was fully asleep, and then I followed her right after.