I am Your Enemy

I started writing this as an essay, but realized that the Essay category gets very few views and/or very few comments. And this is actually a Loving Wives story, at least by the definition of the category (extra-marital fun)

Read the tags. This is not a cuckold story. If you want to see humiliation, embarrassment and the like, go to the Fetish or IR category. I am sure you will find something more to your liking there, where you can verbally abuse the author, the cuck and the whore and get off on it. Whatever trips your trigger.

If you read Lit, in the Loving Wives section, recently there has been a proliferation of weak morality tales loved by the Lily Whites, who see the world in back and white, and I think who actually hate women, going back to Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.

The recent favorite is the brain dead wife who tells her husband she has a date, expecting him to just agree and that things will be back to just them afterwards. It makes for a good morality tale that lovers of those stories can jack off to. Sorry, but that never happens in real life.

There are two surveys quoted that claim that 42% of women have cheated on their spouse or boyfriend. I have seen articles that claim a 50% cheating rate.

And the responses from you basically claim it is feminist, anti marriage crap. Actually, like you, I think the numbers are high, as in the US survey, the participants self-selected. In the UK survey, which was far more narrow, it claimed that 42% of women on vacation or holiday had slept with someone other than their mate. That is far more believable, as crazy stuff happens when away from friends, family and coworkers.

However, I listened to a podcast last week by a sex therapist who claims that in her practice 36% of women, and 43% of men, have cheated on their spouse. Far more believable, though it still may be a bit high.

She also said in another podcast that a woman will tend to forgive a man for cheating if it is just physical (big tits, nice ass and a hard cock), but if it is an emotional one, an affair or something like it, she will divorce him (she understands, unlike many husbands, that sex is just sex). However, though a man may not like it, he can put up with a wife having a male soulmate or work husband (emotional affair), but will divorce her if he catches her on a random hookup. This paragraph illustrates the different mindsets of men and women and the cause of a lot of conflict. I tend to side with the woman in this case, as emotions and affairs are far more dangerous to a marriage than a random one off. Why? In an affair or a long term relationship, feelings happen and you find yourself sharing things that should only be shared with your spouse, thus diluting the marriage bond.

Women step out of the bounds of the marriage for a variety of reasons, some good and some bad, some with husband's knowledge and permission, and some without. Revenge, lack of intimacy, trying to ignite spark in the marriage, cuck (not that much), kinks ashamed to admit to hubby (ever try to play rough with someone without leaving tell tale marks for her husband to see?). Also something, in one case, where her husband refused to go down on her because he thought it was dirty.

Robert Heinlein got it right in the Novel "Stranger in a Strange Land" when he postulated the following:

"Most moral philosophers consciously or unconsciously assume the essential correctness of our cultural sexual code -- family, monogamy, continence, the postulate of privacy,... restriction of intercourse to the marriage bed, etcetera. Having stipulated our cultural code as a whole, they fiddle with details - even such piffle as solemnly discussing whether or not the female breast is an "obscene" sight! But mostly they debate how the human animal can be induced or forced to obey this code, blandly ignoring the high probability that the heartaches and tragedies they see all around them originate in the code itself rather than the failure to abide by the code."

I firmly believe this, and it has guided my life ever since.

Remember, that cultural moral code being referred to was put in place by our religious forefathers who settled this land. Monogamy is a cultural construct that is not borne out by our evolutionary history, just our fairly recent religious history.

Now back to me, and why I am your enemy.

I am a male with a body count of 32, and 14 of those have been with married women. The aftercare with them is so important, about tossing the guilt, and sending her home to hubby and having her try to reignite the spark in their marriage. I never disrespect the husband, as that is the man she married and loves. It is not my place to be an asshole. I never do affairs or long term relationships as they are marriage killers because feelings happen, and also can get you shot. I never once even thought of the word cuckold, because for her, this was never the intent to humiliate or embarrass her husband.

For any man who says he seduces married women is full of shit. All a man can do is compliment, smile, maybe gently tease and flirt, and make her laugh. She may not have had that from her husband in months, maybe years. She will decide if and when and with whom.

It has also been documented in several studies that at a certain point in her life, a lot of women do not feel sexy or desirable any more, even though her husband tells her she is, and she doesn't believe it because her husband is supposed to say that. It takes an external affirmation (it needn't even be sex, but something as simple as a smile, a compliment, a little gentle teasing and flirting) to help her libido and sexual energy. And then she takes that home to her husband. I had one situation like that. The husband, researching, realized that was what she needed, and conspired with his wife's best friend to make it happen. I was lucky enough to be that guy. Her friend contacted me later to say it worked. He should thank me, and probably secretly does..

When I said that I don't do long term affairs, there was one exception. For five years, I was the conference husband for a woman. We met every year at a conference, and she called me her conference husband, so for four or five days a year, we actually played husband and wife. I actually bought a cheap wedding ring to match hers. We did the husband and wife on vacation thing, with a lot of sex also. I always booked a two room suite with a door between them to not be so obvious if someone decided to look. She told me her husband was not totally unaware, because of the uptake in sex between them both before and after conference time, but chose not to question. They finally moved to London and I lost track of them. I miss that. I think that at some point in the future, maybe fifty years, when they are remembering, she will tell him, and he will be okay with it.

Several years ago I was confronted by a husband asking if I had slept with his wife, because when she came home after meetings where we were together, she was all over him and the sex was awesome (she had told me the same). I told him that I may or may not have slept with his wife (I had) and that was for them to talk about. What I did do was tell him that he had violated his marriage vow to love and cherish his wife because of neglecting both her emotional needs and her physical needs, and asked him when was the last time he had told her how beautiful and sexy she was, and when was the last time he had touched her, even in a non sexual way, letting her know that he cared. I also told him that I had complimented her, gently teased and flirted with her, and made her smile, which is really all she needed. Anything more was between them.

Men, if you are not paying attention to your wife, not giving her love and attention, it is you who are violating your marriage vows, to love and cherish her, and if she steps out of the marriage bounds because you are not fulfilling that part of your vows, you are to fault, not her. Sexual intimacy is implied in the marriage contract and if you are not providing that, you have broken your vows.

So, men, I am indicting some of you as the reason for her infidelity by not fulfilling your part of the marriage contract.

Back to me.

13 of the 14 are still happily married and the one not I could have predicted, as she was needy and clinging, looking for something I could not provide. She got caught in a long term affair, which in over 90% of cases, ends in divorce, which destroys families, finances for both parties, and also tears friendships apart.

Divorce should always be a last resort, unless there is egregious behavior, though too many men let their "fragile male ego",( I hate that term used as an epitaph by feminists), but it is sometimes far too true, men cutting off their noses to spite their face.

With several of the wives, I am actually still in their social circles, and with all but one, it is actually a little smile and grin, sharing our private secret. The other avoids me like the plague, I believe still feeling guilt, and shame, even though it helped her marriage. I stalk several others on social media, just to see how they are doing, as I like to think I helped them along the way. Two others have become close friends as we think a lot alike and gossip a lot. Both really enjoy getting to play with a new cock, like a kid in a candy store, one whose husband knows and approves, and the other who should know but pretends not.

Communication is key. I have never considered monogamy as a standalone issue. It comes down to the emotional bond between the spouses. Physical "cheating", ie random hookup is one thing. Emotional cheating is totally different. One is a threat to the relationship, and one should not be.

Men, the most important thing in your relationship with your wife, whether you are in a straight monogamous relationship with your wife, or role playing or anything else, is that bonding time with the wife, nurturing that bond, and doing aftercare with each other to make sure all is good between you.

I have always maintained that a random one-off can actually be good for a marriage, so my second wife had a standing hall pass when she was on the road or when opportunity knocked. It recharged her sexual energy, and brought it home to the marital bed.

By the way, my body count will soon be 33 and 15, as a women friend of my close friends, and I have been flirting and teasing each other for almost a month, ramping up the sexual tension, and at some point she will drag me to bed. In the necessary aftercare between us (always very necessary), I will find out the motivations, and whether or not husband is in on it. I suspect that it will be one of the opportunists who just like to play with a strange cock.

I said that this is not a cuckolding story, but why to like a loving consensual cuckold story? It creates a hot wife, who with her husband's permission, is free to sample strange cocks, a great thing for the rest of us.

One the other hand, an evil cunt wife who disrespects and denigrates her husband, I would not fuck with your cock. Let her go to Fetish and find herself a bull, because I want nothing to do with her.

I love being with a married woman. I love the complexities of where they are coming from, most just needing good sex, and/or, the affirmation that they are still attractive and sexually desirable, something that their husband has not bothered to notice and comment on for ages. And the aftercare, holding them and telling them it is all right, and sending them home to hubby, hopefully to reignite the embers of their sex life. If your sex life with your wife has suddenly turned better, it just may be that I have helped your marriage.

I am performing a needed service. You need to thank me.