Claire. Goonette. Divorced for Porn

Her name was Claire. She was always a little curious in college. Curious about everything. Then she decided to watch porn. She was alone in her dorm. She was grown. She could make her own decisions. Porn never hurt anyone. Why not see what it's all about? So she fed her curiosity. -- curious enough to open tabs late at night, curious enough to stay up until dawn watching pixels flicker while her roommates in the other rooms slept. She'd thought it was just a phase: college stress, lonely nights, a bit of "self-care." But the screens became more comforting than anything else.

Masturbation became her true and only sexual outlet. At the time, she was still a virgin. Out of her curiosity, she discovered gooning and its true meaning. Slowly, yet silently, she decided to identify as a goonette. While she was no stranger to masturbating, this is the first time she engaged in deliberate edging and long extended sessions masturbating to porn. But right now it was just her secret she kept to herself and her screens.

She met Ethan during her senior year -- sweet, patient Ethan, who didn't mind when she laughed off dates to stay in bed. When they finally had sex, she liked it -- she liked him -- but she couldn't stop comparing him to the porn scenes playing endlessly behind her eyes. By this point, she could hear porn in her sleep. She could see porn without watching porn. Her curiosity lead her down this path. She already knew her obsession with gooning was permanent. But it was still her secret. She still had to maintain some form of outward normalcy.. right?

At first, Ethan was enough. Real warmth. Real skin. Real love. But her laptop waited. Headphones under the pillow. Hidden bookmarks. One more video. One more clip. One more surge of heat and she'd promise herself tomorrow I'll stop.

Tomorrow never came. Sometimes she didn't cum either.

She loved to withhold her orgasm. To edge. She even faked orgasm when she had sex with Ethan. She just used him to edge. He would never understand. He only lasted about 10-15 minutes anyway. She was very used to hours of masturbation without orgasm long before his penis ever entered her safe space for porn.

To stay wet, she often thought about her favorite porn. Naked women alone in their rooms... making online content. Lost in their own pleasure with just silicone, likes, and follows.

Masturbating for hours.

Sucking on dildos, fucking machines.

Squirting.

Big clits.

She was obsessed with the female anatomy presented in porn. It was so powerful to watch them control their pleasure and control others. She dreamed one day of making money like they did, but the appeal of having to deal with selfish and rude men just turned her off from exploring that fantasy. She knew her place in life was to just make money, rub her pussy, and support her goddesses to they kept making porn.

These are just some of the perverted thoughts sustained her while she did her best to sexually satisfy Ethan. She couldn't break his heart. He was just a normal humble and quiet man that loved his girlfriend. She couldn't taint him with her secret world of beautiful depravity. She already knew that what she was into was a quiet and silent lifestyle far removed from normalcy... And she loved it.. more than Ethan.

They moved in together after graduation. A nice starter home on the edge of town -- neutral paint, big windows, a backyard they never used. Well that's not entirely true. They did use the back yard to get married and have a small and quiet ceremony. Luckily both of them were humble and private people. It wasn't about satisfying others and preforming. They had each other. Claire had porn.

Over time, during the first year, Ethan bought furniture and other accessories for the home. Claire bought blackout blinds, a large desk, a custom built computer, multiple screens. She knew was tech savvy and needed the equipment for her work from home job. That was the ruse. The shield the half truth. He accepted it. Claire new the full truth.

Ethan and Claire were both doing well at their jobs. However the long hours on both sides were starting to impact their sex life. That's that Ethan thought. He didn't notice at first that she'd stopped initiating sex. He didn't try to worry too much about it. This can happen after you spend a lot of time together after all. Also, they already decided to not have children due to the economic strain and modern times. They didn't want to be in any more debt they needed to be. They ever fought about money and they wanted to keep it that way. So maybe its was a good thing not to have sex all the time. They didn't want to have a happy accident right now. That's how Ethan justified everything.

However, this slowly started to change. Ethan started to notice. Claire never stopped deepening her dependency on porn. When it was time for sex, she would sigh and push him off gently when he reached for her at night. She'd wake up early just to slip away to the spare room -- the new office she called it -- and shut the door behind her. Hiding under the ruse of working many hours for her new job, she was able make a dual purpose shrine for her porn and the dollar. A job well done meant 10 more minutes of porn. So of course she was going to stay in a reward loop of financial gains and depravity.

Ethan began to ask why she was not as eager to have sex. She told him the truth in pieces.

'I'm just tired.'

'I'm stressed.'

'I'm not in the mood.'

But behind the excuses, she was digging deeper. She found communities that whispered the word pornosexual -- people like her, people who didn't want real flesh anymore. Just the perfect light, the endless scenes, the next hit of porn induced dopamine.

Claire decided to tell Ethan the full truth one night.

Her full confession.

Her full reveal.

Her sexual orientation to pornography

-- half proud, half terrified.

The look on Ethan's face contorted to what he was hearing and trying to understand. He never thought his wife was into.. porn... and not on this level.. hidden from him for so long.. but he listened..

"I think I'm pornosexual. I don't need sex in the traditional way anymore. I thought after I gave you my virginity I would want traditional sex. I really did... I tried to give you a few hints to be more kinky to go longer but I never knew how to tell how you deep I was into this.. how I got all of these ideas from porn... how I just want to be like what I see on my screens. How I wanted to lay in bed and just masturbate all day while we scrolled porn endlessly together. She gestured to a woman with a very very very wet pussy rolling her eyes using her vibrator. To Ethan, this woman looked like she was in trouble. Feral. Barely human.. was this even possible? Was this real? What was he seeing... really? His wife gets off to this instead of sex..? Is he safe with her when he goes to sleep? Ethan hid his fear well and just let his life continue to speak. Nothing bad happened until now. He tried to calm his nerves and reassure himself that he was not in danger.

Ethan was in overload with what he was hearing and seeing. Claire said, "I want this." She gestured to her screens -- six of them now, stacked and flicking pornographic and depraved images, things that have rewired all of her reward centers to worship pornography. This was her baseline of normalcy. She showed her husband the real woman she really was.

Vulnerable.

Open.

Honest.

Trembling.

Pornified.

The glow of porn was painting her bare naked skin as Ethan continued to stand in the doorway. He really enjoyed the fact his wife didn't wear clothes at home. But but he was often confused as to why she was visibly wet but not interested in sex. Everything slowly began to add up as he took it all in. But he still loved her. He didn't have one single malicious bone in his body for his wife. However, he was shocked.. and it would take a while for him to fully understand who his wife really was.

He tried to fix it. Therapy, talks, promises. He asked if she'd cut back. She smiled and nodded. At first she really did try to change for him. But like everyone in the gooning lifestyle knows, the rewiring by porn is truly permanent.. and so she started going back to her sanctuary the moment he left for work. She was never normal without porn.

She used porn for everything in her life so just being without it was wrong... she just couldn't be the woman Ethan wanted. But porn always wanted her.. so she decided to keep changing to be better for porn. The rest of the house was slowly becoming the wrong place to be. Only her room. Her screens. Her porn. So she decided to make the rest of her house more comfortable.. for her.

She hung blackout curtains in the living room. The bedroom became just a charging station for her devices. Cords trailed like vines. Lube bottles on every shelf. The house smelled faintly of warm electronics and the scent of her porn addicted womanhood.

Ethan saw these changes. So he decided to make a heavy and rightful decision. He filed for divorce when he realized she wasn't coming back to their bed -- ever. She didn't fight him. She handed him the house like it was a corpse she'd already drained. He left with the furniture and the photo albums. She stayed behind for a week, alone in the echo, all screens, no sheets. It was liberating to let go completely for porn. She was alone for the first time in years and in only a few days she had completely eclipsed her previous goon sessions by many many many hours.

She felt sorry for Ethan. She had silent regret for not following her true self. For not saving him from the hurt and anguish for experiencing this. She had read (and masturbated to) many articles about the possibility of this happening. She still respected him as a man who he was. He gave her amazing experiences she won't forget.. but because.. her sexual attraction to Porn was absolute, there would be no saving her.. no change.. her life would be nothing without porn.

Ethan fully understood this. He saw what could happen to her if he stayed. He would be in the way. She would be in a cage. Both silently knowing that the spirit of porn was creating noise and tension. It would not be healthy.

This was for the better. Ethan, with all of his heart, still loved her. But he could not go where she was going with porn. He didn't want to hurt himself trying to fix her; he knew he was powerless to force his values on her free spirit. He could see in her eyes how much she meant every word about her porn addiction. How much Porn really meant to her.

At the end of everything, they decided to sell the house, split the earnings and part ways. Both lawyers were shocked at how polite and civil both parties were. They even wondered why they were getting divorced at all. Ethan and Claire vowed to keep the reason for divorce a secret. The less everyone knew, the better. This was their journey. They wanted this to be as painless as possible. She did everything she could to make sure Ethan maintained his passionate spirit so he could find his true love that was porn free. She even helped him make a dating profile and gave him pointers on what to say when he got his first dates. She wanted to give him the reassurance that he was still attractive and wanted and he could do better than her. It was the right thing to do.. so she can goon guilt free... with no regrets.. only pleasure.

Claire needed to meld her soul with Porn. The sickening sweet demonic pull of beautiful, bottomless, and perfect Pornography was calling her. And now that Ethan was ok, she was free to worship Pornography.

Claire found a studio apartment across town -- cheaper, smaller, no yard to worry about. She moved in with just a mattress, a computer tower, her headphones, her screens.. that was only the beginning. Within days she'd sealed the windows with blackout panels, lined the walls with more screens, bought soundproof foam. She told the landlord she worked from home.. She told him she wanted to be a good polite neighbor.. and preferred her privacy. -- which was true in its own way.

Outside, she was normal. Claire, the smiling neighbor who held the elevator door, who waved to the mail carrier. Hair neat. Clothes normal. She kept up appearances so no one would peek too close. Because inside -- inside was her holy place. Porn was ALWAYS loop. This was her sanctuary. Her goon cave. Her place to be free.

Her wet needy pussy always responded to porn. Now that she was on her own, she could go deeper. Guilt free. Liberated. Totally at one with who she really was. Porn did this to her. Porn changed her. And she loved what she has become.

She didn't need a partner. She didn't want to be saved or reintegrated into society. She belonged to the screen now -- just as she always had. This was her new and permanent identity.