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Fractured

He wakes up and immediately reaches out to touch her, eyes still closed and heavy.

She's gone already. Or maybe, she was never even there. Sometimes it's so hard to remember. He sighs, and tries to find the will to open his eyes. Because if she's gone already, what's the point? He grunts, and rolls off the bed onto the floor. That used to make her laugh so hard. He can almost feel her cold feet on his back, pushing him off the bed into wakefulness. He chokes back the threatening tears, and clambers to his feet before heading into the bathroom to shower.

His showers are way too long now. She would always follow him into the bathroom shortly after he started the water, yawning and stretching like some cute little monster. Her hair would be a rats nest and her crooked, sleepy smile was just perfection. She would creep into the shower with him, wearing one of his shirts still, hugging against his body as he fought to get his wet shirt off of her.

He shuts off the water, heart heavy as she doesn't make an appearance. He grabs the towel, and wrinkles his nose at the slightly musty smell. He should really do the laundry.Fractured фото

He walks downstairs, not tripping over the shoes that she would leave scattered all over the staircase. Walking into the kitchen, he doesn't have the energy to cook anything. She always insisted on "syrup and waffles!", or "yummy, gummy, runny eggs!". He pours a bowl of cereal instead, finishing off a box. Hopefully there's another one in the pantry, because he didn't make any time for a trip to the store today. She usually put together a shopping list, and insisted on going together so she could protect him "from the forces of evil, and clowns!". She was terrified of clowns. He grinned for a split second, before reality knocked him off his feet immediately.

He stares at the empty cereal bowl in front of him, and glances at the sink. Like the ghost of relationship-past, he can see her swipe the bowl, giggling as she efficiently washes it. He sees himself wrap his arms around her, kissing her neck as she dries the bowl, her husky, shrieking laugh echoing...

He closes the door, and touches the lock. She always used to lock the door behind him, and he would put his hand on it to feel if she slid the deadbolt. Make sure she'd be safe for the day. He sighs, and pulls out his keys to lock up...

Every time his phone buzzes, his heart jumps into his throat. Of course it isn't her, but...

He buys lunch. A very large lunch. She isn't around to pack a healthy one. He's probably gained a few pounds, but who cares?

His friend calls to invite him to get wings with the guys this weekend, watch the game. He reluctantly agrees before hanging up, making a mental note to text them this time to bail, instead of just no-showing. But he'll forget, like usual. Because who cares?

He drives home. Is that her car? No, it's not even the right make; she drove a small Audi coupe. He probably knew that car's body as well as he knew hers, with all the things he fixed on it.

He makes too much food for dinner, cooking for 2 instead of 1. The leftovers go in the trash instead of the fridge, because why bother? She was the only one who liked to eat leftover. He can almost hear her laughing, and saying,

"But what if I just want a little snack, babe?"

He showers. The shampoo is almost empty. So is the toothpaste. The towel smells musty. He should do the laundry, but he's too used to putting clothes in the washer while she interjects herself into his chore like an inquisitive little bird. He just can't bring himself to do it without her.

"Oh babe, that one's not even dirty!"

"Oh, I forgot I dropped a sock behind the bed, I'll go get it, hang on!"

He crawls into bed, closing his eyes. This is the only time of the day where he can imagine that any second, the door will click shut, her feet skip across the floor, and the bed will shift with a giggle. A kiss on the cheek. He sighs, and digs around in his boxers. Her hairs still linger, tauntingly.

He falls asleep, and dreams about being at work. Of going out and having wings with his friends. He comes home, and she's there! Of course she is, why wouldn't she be? They make love, and they fall asleep together. He's so relieved. And...

He wakes up and immediately reaches out to touch her, eyes still closed and heavy. She's gone already....

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