Changing Times

CHANGING TIMES

The article said: Couples Choosing Open Sexuality. "Could you imagine doing that?" my wife asked as she turned the magazine toward me.

"What's that?" I asked, expecting she had been reading an article on birdwatching or barbecuing steaks.

"Letting me fuck other men," she said, "and you wanting the freedom to fuck other men's wives?"

"Where did this come from?" I said.

"I just read an article on extramarital sex in American couples these days here like they have been doing in Europe for years," she said. "They say it's exercising their unconditional love. Do you love me unconditionally?"

"You mean even if you're fucking our neighbor?" I said.

"Exactly," she said.

"That's unconditional love?" I said.

"They say so," she said.

"Could you, if I was banging the broad next door?" I said, trying to avoid dealing with whether I loved her that much.

"Not sure. I guess our love is not unconditional. Does that mean it is not as genuine, as powerful?" she asked.

"Well, it certainly is not unconditional if we put conditions on it," I said. "I feel like I just discovered I am not as secure as I thought I was. So, how do we test it?"

"The answer is obvious," she said.

"I guess so," I replied.

"You see if it stands up to a challenge," she said.

"Do you think it would?" I said.

"I don't know," she said.

"Me neither," I said with a shrug. "If you would end it after an affair, obviously there are conditions, right. Would that be love for yourself, or egotism?"

"Love me only," I guess. "Obviously it's not unconditional. Don't let anyone else give you pleasure?" I asked, posing the question.

"So the real test of love is how much you can tolerate?" she said.

"I guess it comes down to that," I said. "So if we want to test our love we have to risk it?" I guess.

"Otherwise how do you know?" she said with a shrug.

"Are we kidding ourselves?" I said.

"You want to test our love?" she said.

"I am afraid to," I said.

"Not very confident, then, right?" she said.

"I think I love you enough to tolerate infidelity," I said. "I am just not sure. Maybe."

"We could take the challenge," she said.

"Swing?" I said.

"It would tell us," she said.

"Do we want to know?" I said.

"I do," she said. "I really think I love you enough. Wouldn't it be good to know?" I shrugged. She went online and googled Swingers. Sites came up that gave the definition, groups in our area, contact numbers, and articles about the lifestyle.

We read a number of the articles, wrote down some of the group names and contacts, and closed the computer. "Why don't we go to one and see how we feel," she said. "Let me ask you," she said, "as we talk about it, does it excite you even a little bit?"

"That's the problem. It does," I said. "So does driving fast," I said, "but it's dangerous. I just feel this is really risky."

"Maybe we should talk to some people who have done it," she said.

"I would not be against that," I answered.

We contacted one group and told them what we wanted. They gave us some names of people they knew who would be willing to talk to us. We called three, told them what we wanted, and made arrangements to meet with two of them, intending to meet with the third couple later.

We decided we should talk to them both at once, meet them together and get their perspectives as a couple. We first met with Carol and Jack. They were scientists and worked at the university.

"How long have you two been married?" I asked.

"Fifteen years," he said. "We married right out of college," he added. "Neither of us believed from the start that monogamy was the answer to a happy marriage."

"Both of us came from broken homes," she said, "so we'd seen what unhappy homes were like for the children and everyone. Both of us had religious parents, so that wasn't the answer."

"And our parents swore by fidelity, but that didn't guarantee happiness," he said. "My father fooled around some, so honesty wasn't a factor. When my mother found out she divorced him."

"It was my mother who strayed," Carol said. "Had a ten year affair that ended badly," she said.

"Sex just never seemed like a good reason to end a marital friendship," he said.

"When I was sexually attracted to other people, I told him," she said. "He told me to go ahead, so I did," she said, "and I told him. We decided it wasn't so bad."

"Having sex is not the worst thing in the world," he said. "I began to enjoy her stories about different lovers. When I realized I could be happy she'd had a good time, I realized that was what unconditional love is. It felt really good to be able to be happy she'd had a good fuck," he said. "You know, had a good time."

"Any regrets?" I asked. "Truly?"

"Just that we didn't start it sooner," he said.

"And that we wasted time not being as honest with one another about our true feelings," Carol said.

As we drove away I said, "it sounds too good to be true, right? I am not sure I trust the 'it made us better people' bit," I said.

"We need to talk to other people," my perceptive wife said.

We met with the second couple, John and Theresa, who were teachers. They began without us even asking a question. "After about five years we both realized the sexual heat had cooled."

"We wanted to get that back and tried the regular things: sex toys, sexy clothes, playacting, romantic dates."

"And positions," she said. "But none of that seemed real. It just didn't work."

"And it left us unsatisfied," he said.

"So we tried swinging," she added.

"And we both liked it," he said. "It let us be more honest about our sexual feelings."

"And it actually brought us closer together."

"Funny, huh? Fucking others brought us closer, but it is true," he said.

"I have two men I see regularly for sex," Theresa said.

"And I have an intimate friend," her husband said.

"We all are really close friends," she said

"And we all get along really well," he said. "We do nonsexual things together."

"Like camping and travel, even dinner parties," his wife said.

When we drove away from meeting with them we looked at one another. "The only way I can think of to really know..."

"Is to try it, right, and see how we feel," my wife said.

"But unless we both are satisfied it's the right thing to do, we both have to agree to stop," I said.

She nodded. "It would only work if we did that," she said. "I agree. Both of us or neither. If one likes it while the other isn't comfortable, it just wouldn't work," she added.

"I agree," I said. "Either both of us are comfortable, or we don't do it."

"Right," she agreed.

"If you see a guy who turns you on, tell me," I said.

"Really? You could handle that?" she asked.

"We'll see," I said. "If I see a woman who turns me on, could you handle hearing it?"

"I probably would know it anyway," she said. "Small but well-shaped tits, sexy smile, nice butt, pretty face. Right?"

"Close," I said.

"So, honestly, do you ever masturbate to images of stranger-sex?" she asked.

"But of course. You?" I said.

"To be totally honest. Yes," she said with a sly smile.

"So, honesty feels better. Right?" I said.

"True, but it's not 'I want to fuck him,'" she said.

"But if you get off thinking of someone, it is moving in that direction, true?" I said.

"Okay. Fantasies. Just not real fucking," she said.

"It's just pretending, yes? So does pretending mean you want it?" I said.

"I guess we'll see," she said.

"So, we'll go to a swinger event and ask to observe for a weekend?"

"I hear they allow that," she said. "An 'orientation visit'. See what you think. Second visit you participate or leave."

"Sounds reasonable to me. Go see it happening, talk to people, decide if it's for us. Okay?" I said.

"For both of us or neither of us?" she said.

"Right," I said. "Both or none."

"Okay," she said. "Let's give it a try. See how it feels."

"So, you're into it?" I said. "Willing to give it a chance? A serious test?"

"I am if you are," she said.

"I seriously am," I said. "I want to find out about myself. I admit to you that I actually do like porn." She smiled. "I do actually enjoy imagining it with the people in the videos."

"Really? Okay, since were being completely honest, when I see a really handsome guy, I actually do get wet panties," she said actually blushing.

"Really wet?" I said with a chuckle.

"Quite," she said smiling.

"You ever masturbate to that man's image?" I asked.

"I have," she said grinning. "A few times."

"A few times a week?" I asked with a grin.

"Occasionally," she said, obviously embarrassing herself.

"So, we sound like perfect candidates," I said.

"You mean like horny old married people," she said, "thirsting for a roll in the hay with a stranger?"

"Doesn't have to be a stranger," I said. "Fucking friends could be nice."

"Any friends you'd fuck, or masturbate to thoughts of?" she asked.

"Not many," I joked.

"Ten?"

"Maybe five," I said.

"Well, we might be going to the right place for us," she said.

"Excited?" I said.

"A bit," she said.

"So, maybe this is right for us then," I said.

"Let's do some honesty," she said. "Any sexual habits I don't know about?"

"Well, when I look through a magazine, the first thing I look for are sexy pictures," I said. "I look for a naked woman."

"I look at myself naked in the mirror and wonder if any man would be sexually attracted to me," she admitted.

"Sounds normal," I said. "When I look at a sexy woman I imagine her naked gesturing to me to follow her to the promise land."

"Sometimes I masturbate to put myself to sleep," she confessed. "And occasionally I think of someone in particular."

"Anyone particularly sexy to you that we know?" I said.

"You want a list?" she said.

"I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours," I said.

"You first," she said.

"Okay. Nancy, Julia, Wendy. Oh, and Linda, Marcia, and Barbara," I said.

"That's nearly every woman we know," she said.

"Honesty," I said. "You?"

"Well, Julian," she said.

"Sure, like every other woman in the county," I said. "Just one?"

"And Marco, Phillip, and Peter," she said.

"My brother?"

"Honesty," she reminded me.

"So, which one, or ones have you masturbated thinking of?" I said.

"Honesty?" she asked. I nodded my head. "All of them," she whispered.

"I do have a truly horny wife," I said.

"So, which of your list have you jacked off to, honestly?"

"All of them," I whispered back.

"You want to have sex with every woman we know?" she asked with a look of surprise.

"Not your mother," I said.

"Thank God for that," she said with a grin.

"At least you're grinning," I said.

"This swinger place just might be the right place for us," she said. "A couple of old horny married people." After a minute she said, "Could you handle me fucking Marco?"

I had never heard her say the word 'fuck' before that day. "Maybe," I said. "Could you handle me fucking Julia?"

"Maybe," she said with a silly grin.

The night we were going to do our orientation visit to the swinger event and, although we knew nothing sexual was going to happen, we were both as excited as freshman at the prom. The dress code there was pretty casual, so most people there were nude or really close to it.

We chatted with couples who somehow knew we were first time visitors. Being around naked people and just chatting with them was strange for us. "I know you wonder how you will react seeing your husband fuck someone else, but believe me it is no problem when you have a hard dick in your pussy," one rather candid woman said. "If you're fucking, you won't mind him fucking whoever he wants," she said.

Another woman, Jane from San Fernando, said, "It is just sex, honey. Fucking is just having fun with your clothes off."

"Society puts way too much importance on monogamy," a woman named Clara said. "It was my husband who wanted us to come here at first, but now I'd never give it up. If you love him and he loves you, you won't put limits on one another," she said.

"We are the only animal who does this 'married for life' crap. That business about ducks mating for life is just mythology. It's bullshit. Females seals mate with every big, strong male on the beach. I am here to get myself a big bull," said a woman named Annette.

"Get your tubes tied, lay back, and open your legs," a married lady in her sixties said. "We have been told too long that good girls don't like sex, but I am here to tell you it's the best thing since anti-aging face cream," she said. "Good fucking will keep you young."

"They certainly aren't shy about promoting the lifestyle," I said later when we were alone.

"Or about talking about fucking," my wife said. "Makes me want to add to my list."

"Feel free," I said. "We are in honest town. I guess I have been pretty sexually repressed," I said. "If you are not worried about reproducing, then why not? They are pretty convincing," I said, nodding toward the room we'd just come from.

"So, you want to come back?" I asked. She looked around the room at the naked pictures of people on the walls. She then looked at me and smiled.

"Do you?"

"I think so. Well, yes," I said. "I could handle you fucking Marco if I was fucking Julia at the time. Like she said, 'Fucking is only having fun with your clothes off.' Love should really be unconditional, right?"

"Right!"

That Sunday night, when we got home, we had one of the hottest times having sex we have had in years. "I guess our night there really did turn us on," I said.

"My panties have been wet for two days," Claire said. "Could I be a HotWife?"

"You already are," I said. "Every husband in the place will want to fuck you."

"Oh, my," she said with a wistful sigh. "Every one?"

"If they're not blind and gay," I said.

The day before we went back to the swinger event we prepared for our weekend of extramarital sex by trimming her bush and douching out her pussy, making it clean and ready for a new lover. We showered and powdered and groomed and made sure every part of us was ready for loving.

We had talked to swingers, observed their event, watched their interaction and listened to their making the case for what they do that mainstream society doesn't do. We had gone from skeptics to willing believers and were ready to dive in and become swingers.

Claire was so excited she had to change her panties twice. I suggested she bring an extra pair, in case she decided to give away the first pair, but even before we got there she needed to change. She was so excited it showed on her like a new haircut. On the drive over she began squirming and looked over at me.

"Oh, oh," she said. "I am gushing. My panties are soaked," she said, her face flush. "I guess I am so excited I am leaking like a faucet."

I suggested she use the extra panties. In the car, right on the front seat, she slipped out of one pair and into the other. She balled the soggy pair in a baggy, and put that in her purse.

We pulled into the parking lot and smiled at each other. "Are we ready for this?" I said.

"I don't know," she said. "I hope so." We took our overnight bag out of the trunk and went to the front door. Once again we met with the hostess and she went over the rules, the suggestions (no mercy fucks, don't feel obligated, etc), and she took our credit card and gave us a receipt and assigned us a room and gave us a meal ticket.

As we were leaving the office, we ran into a couple we'd seen the month before. "We hoped you'd come back," the man said. "I am Jake, this is Helena, we have been members here for five years. Could we show you around the grounds?"

We told them we were Claire and David, that we'd love the tour, and that it was kind of them to offer. "It is not only kindness," he said. "We hoped to see you again and would love to get to know you better, if you know what I mean."

"My husband is attracted to your wife," Helena said. There was the test. How did I feel at hearing that? The next thing I heard sealed the deal. "And I am interested to get to know her husband."

I guess the woman was right who said it is easier to handle your mate fucking if you are also with someone who is ravishing your body, I thought. As Helena was telling me she wanted to get to know me in a biblical sense, I found I didn't mind her husband ogling Claire at all.

In a couple of minutes Claire had drifted off with Jake and Helena was taking my arm. One of my fears of going there was finding men gathering around Claire, panting like puppies, and me being left to read magazines all night by myself in the library. I worried that would happen and the downside of swinging would be being rejected while my mate was pursued vigorously.

Rejection was a real concern for me, and to have Helena be so interested was a wonderful positive. I can't imagine handling it well if Claire was off fucking and I was watching jeopardy on a tv in a room by myself.

Claire went with Jake to the hot tub, then to the singles room. Helena and I went to the group room and joined two other couples fucking in a huddle on three mattresses. Although, group fucking was totally new to me, I fit right in fucking Helena and kissing a blond with a tongue as long as a snake. She was being fucked by another guy while he was doing something I couldn't see with his hands to someone else.

It was a brand new kind of recreation for me, but I was starting to understand the mentality of extramarital fucking. Claire was in another room with someone else's penis in her vagina, and I wasn't going crazy over it. I guess times have really changed, and monogamy is not considered as sacred as it once was.

We went back the next month, which was April, then we became members in June. We have been unwavering swingers now for five years and we do agree with the woman who told us once that it made her marriage stronger. We are more honest about our feelings with each other now, and we have better sex, and we love one another unconditionally as we once thought we should.

Sex is a way of reproducing the species, of course, but it can also be a recreational activity that doesn't have to limit you. We have found the ideology has made us better, more aware people who see life as an opportunity to give and receive pleasure honestly and consistent with our nature. Freedom means not having to say you're sorry, and honesty means admitting who turns you on.