SAFEHAVEN Ep. 015: NOT SO LITTLE RASCALS

The orphANDROIDS: Charlie Newborn, Lucy Diamond, Lester Morris, and Patti Updyke

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St. Louis, Missouri! A dark and lonely Union Pacific railroad station. Roughly 11:00 PM!

"Check the railcars for stowaways! What do we pay you guys for? Get off your fat asses!"

Latenight security was lagging in their duties tonight. Guardsmen Willis Drummond and Carl Winslow jumped at their Sergeant up at Arms elder Devian Carpenter. Tripping over themselves the two overweight gents grabbed their flashlights and hobbled along the gravel runway alongside the tracks. Their boss manning the front desk watched his crew do a half ass job of checking out open door cars. Both men could barely lean inside to even get a good look.

"Pathetic! Why did I ever hire those morons. Both of them have put on 40 pounds since they started here." He just knew he was going to have to do the job himself. After his nap, of course. At 65, Devian was all talk and attitude. With three different trains having docked for the night he knew his chubby chums would take forever. He was convinced the cameras would capture any trespassers. He just liked to bust their balls. Kicking back Devian closed his eyes and settled in.

"When was the last time we ever caught a carjacker?" Willis chuckled, winded just from trying to get a good look inside a dry bed car.

"Hold up Willis! You smell a cigar?" Carl paused trying to track where the scent was coming from. "I know I smell a stogie."

"Now that you mention it. Is that a Swisher Sweet?"

"Black & Wild!" Carl laughed! "My daughter Laura smokes those."

"I think it's coming from that car up there."

"Hold up! I think I heard a girl giggling." Nightsticks ready the rent-a-cops tiptoed toward the train car. Spotting a step stool along a tool shed Willis secured it in order to climb up into the car. He the thinnest of the two chose to do the interior investigation.

"Quiet, Will! Don't spook them."

"Kids smoking isn't cool. Might catch a car on fire with the wood floors." Tugging his way up by the sliding door Willis entered the car and flashed his light to the right. Nothing! Switching his beam left he jumped out of his skin. "BEEJEEZUS!"

"What is it, Will?"

"Uh!" Still in the shadows Carl watched his buddy turn and grin. "You have got to see this." That made Carl struggle to join Willis up on board. Helped up they both shined their light back on the subject, subjects at hand. A totally naked white woman was dancing erotically over of all things four children.

"Oh! That there is so wrong. Put some clothes on lady. We don't take kindly to pedophiles around here." Turning to face them the woman shook her monster gravity defying 42D's! Both guards took pause to pucker. "Damn those are nice!"

"Come on in fellas! Join the show. Lucy there is just keeping us from dying of boredom." On the floor leaning back was a young white boy with scarce hair on his head. Puffing away on a cigar he used an empty beer can for his ashes. Strung all around that end of the car were dozens of beer cans. "I'm a Busch man myself." He rolled two full cans across the wood floor.

"Take a load off." Another young male voice, this one leading to an illuminated black boy who shared some perfect pearly whites. "I just did." His pants were down, and his hand was beating off a penis far too large for his age. That monster should have belonged to an adult male. That kid was definitely a freak of nature!

"We're going to scar these guys for life Lester."

"Ain't our fault we're grown men forced to inhabit child androids. If you think for a second that I'm going to live an eternity not yankin' my chain you're crazy."

"I like watching him yank his chain, Charlie." A girl's voice spoke out loud, objecting to the male's utilizing telepathy.

"Of course, you do Lucy. You were always chasing guys at OASIIS." Charlie Newborn, yes that was actually his real last name, told the adorably cute blonde sitting to Lester's right, hidden by a steel drum.

"Make it shoot Lester! Make it shoot!"

"You do know that's not real jizz, right?" Charlie rolled his android eyes. Human traits he used to utilize became second nature in this new home.

"Good as it gets being an android, Charlie. I'll get used to it. As if we have any choice when we can't evolve our bodies into adults like the others can."

Catching the rolling beer cans under their shoes the guards looked dumbfounded. Carl chose to ask the obvious. "How old are you kids?"

"42!" Charlie blew a smoke ring. Snickering Lucille Diamond went to her knees and jabbed a finger inside the smoke ring just for laughs. "I do! I just married Charlie." Giggles! "Now I'm going to make him a cuck and watch me and Lester."

"38, my man!" Lester grinned with a wink! "Don't mind me, I like strippers." Alluding to the adult woman twerking her ass toward the lad. It was true! Lester Morris was indeed 38-years old last month. In a cruel world he and his friends were killed in a black site base in Pennsylvania. Prior to their fate each of their brain patterns were merged with these infant alien androids. They were directed to reverse engineer these beasts for the military faction called OASIIS. The problem with dealing with the military was that they wanted useful assassins. Only four androids out of 25 were designed as infants ranging from 10-year-old looking Charlie, to 6-year-old Lucy and Lester. A fourth unaccounted infANtDROID kept a low profile. Somewhere!

"42? 38?" Willis grimaced! "Nice try!"

"I'm 27!" Lucy promoted! "Patti is 30!"

"Patti?" Carl looked around. "I only see three of you kids."

"That would be me." The holographic stripper spoke up lifting her breast to suckle a nipple! "I like entertaining the troops."

"Now you don't look 30. Maybe 20!" Willis swallowed! "What gives here? Where are your parents?"

"Can't reveal that!" Charlie put out his cigar and stood up. Wearing a shirt too big for him and jeans rolled up to give him length befitting his height he shuffled over to the stripper and tried slapping her ass. Instead, his hand went right through the stripper. "Put your plaything away, Updyke!"

"Aw, man! I was so close to a climax too."

"Private dance is over." Charlie pointed at a section of wall that nobody sat at.

"What the hell?" Willis walked over and tried touching the stripper. Just like Charlie his hand went right through the buxom beauty. "Ghooooost!" The black man nearly turned white and stumbled backwards.

"No ghost!" Lester grunted loudly and shot his load, Lucy laughing placed her face over his squirting urethra. Gathering a facial of manufactured jizz made Carl choke and swear.

"I said that's enough Patti." Charlie kicked his foot into something substantial. Hearing Patricia Updyke groan the 30-year-old woman in a girl's body appeared just as the stripper faded away. Invisible when her hologram activated was her calling card. Of the four androids only Patti's android could alter and create an illusion. Her imaginary friend if you will.

"We can rub twats later Sally." The hologram was actually a recalled version of her lover back in college. Patti Updyke was a lesbian so the whole stripper thing worked to her advantage. While invisible she masturbated without the other's watching her. Not that Lucy bothered her, but it was Lester and Charlie. A pair of too big denim jeans on the floor she stood up and put them on along with a t-shirt saying Baby Girl. Go figure!

"Put that stove pipe away, Lester. Lucy? Wipe your face."

"WHAT THE HOLY FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?" Carl was holding his chest as if the stress was catching up to his heart.

"Just relax!" Charlie posed his palms in front of him. "Now is the time I wish we could mind wipe people. Telepathy is fine but we can't erase what people see."

"At least we don't leave fingerprints or DNA." Lucy spoke telepathically as she gathered Lester's nut and licked her fingertips. Her fingers were printless and silky smooth. She then slapped Lester on the forehead giggling. "DNA stands for Damn Nigga Android! I'm jooooking! Sorry, Lester."

"No problem, white girl with a black bitch inside." He chuckled! "You and me can get away with the name calling."

"Right!" Charlie and Patti both rolled their eyes.

"Listen up you Numbskulls, we need to deal with this. Carl? Willis? Yes, I know your names." Not even from their badges but from reading their minds. "We can do this the easy way or the hard way. I need you fellas to forget what you found here today. We'll be leaving shortly; we only needed a ride into the city."

"Hard way? You going to kill us?" Carl was hyperventilating!

"Want to borrow my hooch bag?" Lester had a bottle of Hennessy in a paper sack. Removing the empty bottle he handed it to Carl. Oddly enough the bulky guard took it and used it properly. Inhale, exhale! Willis just stood expressionless uncertain what to do.

"Let's just say we could easily overpower you guys." Charlie walked with his hands behind his back. Something he always did as a Professor at Berkeley College before OASIIS confiscated him. "We mean you no harm but at the same time what we've let you see jeopardizes us."

"You... aliens?" Willis mumbled!

"Actually, we are!" Alien androids! So, yes!

"Are you going to probe us?" Panic was setting in. Willis sweating up a storm stole Carl's paper bag and used it for himself.

"It shouldn't come to that. You both need to calm down, your blood pressures are too high right now to ignore." Charlie stepped up to Carl and held his hand. A sting felt Carl looked down, his eyes going white as he toppled over Charlie like a ton of bricks. Willis witnessing his friend's fall found the boy holding his 300-pound stature with ease until Charlie lowered him to the floor.

Stumbling backwards Willis nearly fell out the door until Lester swooped in like a speeding bullet to catch his fall. Dragging him back inside Charlie touched Willis on face and sent the man's eyeballs up into his brow. Both men were drug across the wood floor and left leaning against the wall. Beer cans rolled into them on their own thanks to Lucy using telekinesis. A concocted sedative designed within Charlie Newborn's android body like a chemistry set relaxed their blood pressures and sent them into a deep sleep.

"When they wake up, they won't know what really happened."

"We had no choice, Chuck." Lester sighed! "Where to now? We best skedaddle!"

"Patti? Distort the cameras until we can walk out of here safely."

"On it Chief!" Standing just within the doorway Patricia Updyke channeled her android's stealth abilities and shorted out the camera array for the entire train yard. In his office Devian Carpenter was snoring, no alarm to warn him of the malfunctioning equipment. "Done! Ready when you are Chuck."

"Charlie, dammit!" Gathering what little they had the OrphANDROIDS as Charlie christened them departed the train car and hit the gravel calmly.

"Where we headed?" Lester looked to Charlie for direction, "Any real cops see us prowling the streets late at night they're going to stop us for breaking curfew."

"We need wheels!"

"Can you even reach the gas pedal?" Lucy giggled! "I know, I can't!"

"Charlie is probably the only one who can and he's going to be hugging the steering column."

"We have to learn how to adapt." Newborn sighed! "Hotwiring cars should be in our programming."

"I can always have Sally run from the POPO if we do get spotted." Patti smirked! "Guys love watching big titty bimbos streaking."

"And if it's a lady cop?" Lester chuckled!

"I might date her."

"Right! Good luck with that Pippy Longstocking. No cop is going to dip lip with a 6-year-old, android or not."

"Hey! There might be an understanding cunt out there."

"Enough!" Charlie stopped the chatter. "We have to stick together. Life will be hard enough on the four of us without supporting one another."

"Besides, I'm available." Lucy hiked her skirt and mooned the others. "I can be bi for you, Patticake."

"Can we stop all the sexual innuendoes? This is serious! We need to find our place in this world. None of us can ever go home again."

"At least we don't technically struggle from hunger."

"I can live on my sexual appetite."

"Lucille! Stop talking like Tamara Kole. You're better than that."

"I can't help it. My seductress mode is on 24/7. That's why I rely on Lester here."

"Not complaining, Lucy! I might not be able to grow taller or older, but I sure can Pinocchio it up like a stud." Meaning his penis could grow larger than a normal, dare it be said, boy. "I'll give Jared Temple that one. Boy, am I glad to be a beast."

"I'm the beauty!" Lucy playfully danced about. "Ring my Belle, Baby!"

"I give up!" Charlie shook his head and walked off. The others gave chase. The sad part of being a childlike android was the programming. Not only were their voices kiddish but their mannerisms often took over. Lucy and Patti both skipped along as if playing hopscotch. Lester walked backwards in a circle on occasion. Only Charlie acted his true age even if his appearance was way off.

"We need clothes that fit better." Lester had to roll his pant legs up, competing with Charlie. The ladies' dresses were more in tune after swiping them from a small-town laundromat in Anna, Illinois before hopping the Union Pacific. The Boys to Men, Men to Boys were not as fortunate. Their bodies unable to increase or decrease in body mass made it impossible for any perfect fit. For now, they did with what they had.

"Patti can walk right into a Baby Gap and hook us up." Lucy had an interesting option.

"You know we have no choice, Chuck." Patti concluded that Lucy might be right. "We can't just strong arm a school yard for kid's clothes. Unless we follow some hot soccer mom home and pilfer through dressers. I don't feel comfortable going that route. Well, unless mommy is hot."

"None of us do."

"I might if their daddy is cute." Lucy climbed under a chain link fence as held by Lester, Charlie and Patti already on the other side.

"Lucy? I'm not going to tell you again. Knock it off!"

"Tell that to Seductress! I'm trying!" Artificial tears fell down her cheek as she mumbled with quivering lips! "Stupid Seductress!" This made Charlie stop cold and walk over to Lucy. Throwing his arms around her he held the girl/ woman tightly.

"I get it! I do! It's just hard to cope with Lucille."

"Try being in my shoes. If I had any." They were all barefoot! As androids they felt no physical discomfort. They could literally walk on burning coals and not feel pain. "I'm sorry I'm such a burden guys. Seductress just won't let up on me."

"I hear that." Patti joined Charlie in hugging Lucy. "I can't stop touching myself. At least I can go invisible when I do it. Saves you guys watching me. No offense but I get creeped out by guys looking. Lucy, I don't mind because I know she's bisexual. Screw all the politically correct terms. I live by my name." The dyke was an Updyke! Born and raised! Purely coincidence that she grew to be one. Smartest dyke out there though or OASIIS wouldn't have nabbed her.

"We all struggle with the sex drive these androids have. I never will understand how any alien civilization would even design these things to engage sexually when they're not even real flesh and blood." Charlie had a point! "At any rate! Dry the false tears Lucy and let's get a move on."

"Escalade?" Lester pointed at the slim pickings in the parking lot.

"Too big! Besides we don't need a stolen car APB. That has to belong to one of the guards. We've traumatized their lives too much as it is."

"There's a 24-hour bus." Lucy pointed at a bus stop booth across the street from the rail yard.

"Again, curfew! No bus driver will allow kids without an accompanying parent. Same for a taxi."

"Man alive!" Lester sighed! "How did we four end up at the back of the line."

"No Rosa Park jokes!" Charlie narrowed his eyes. "You and Lucy need to chill on the racism crap. And don't either of you tell me you can get away with it because of your race and upbringing. Be civilized, Goddammit!"

"Bred into the yeast Buddy!"

"No white bread jokes either."

"He's right! Same for no gay jokes." Patti insisted! "How about pay by the mile scooters. I see two over there lying on the curb. Two seaters at that."

"With what money?" Lester pulled the inside pockets of his trousers out to show them as empty.

"If I can hotwire a car or kill cameras what makes you think I can't jumpstart a scooter."

"Or hit us up by tapping out an ATM." Lester grinned! "You can kill the camera on an ATM too and bypass someone's account by reading their minds when they make a withdrawal."

"True! Nobody around for that. We can try that in the morning when our ages won't look suspicious."

"Taking good people's money is not what we are about." Charlie put his foot down. "Step at a time people. The right opportunities will arise. Let's just seek new shelter and plan our next move. Now the scooters we can do. Set us up Pat."

"My pleasure, Chuck."

"Charlie!"

"Sure thing, Chuck."

"Jesus Christmas!" Rolling his eyes he gave up correcting them. They were all just as guilty.

Approaching the scooters Patricia Updyke touched the keypad monitor and activated them. "I killed the tracking chips; they won't know where to find them. If we stash them, we might have our transport when we need them. I can juice up the batteries as we need them."

"Kids on scooters hitting the streets is a bad idea. Night riding only!" Charlie climbed on one scooter, Patti joining him. Lester and Lucy shared the other. He had to shoo Lucy from sitting on the handlebars. Acting her new age was a bitch. Once on the move they explored the darker streets leading into older housing divisions. Not the best neighborhoods but why stress when you could flip a car over with your bare hands. Well, Charlie and Lester could. Lucy for all intents and purposes had telekinesis but moving anything too heavy was out of her league. Invincible yes, strong no. In all reality Lucy was the closest of the four to being human concerning abilities.

Car lights approaching, the dual drivers veered down an alley way to avoid detection. At 1:00 AM there was still quite a few people out and about. It made things difficult, not every area had an alley, so they ducked behind parked cars whenever possible. "These batteries won't last forever." Lester told Charlie, now side by side in the street.

"I told you I can power them up." Patti reminded them! "My Andi here is the bomb. I could light up a six-block radius if I needed to."

"Quit bragging, Power Plant Pat!" Lester chuckled! "You got lucky being the more advanced OrphANDROID. I can still outrun you on foot. Well, with my pants rolled up."

"Can you? You do realize I can manipulate your power supply too. Just cut the pantlegs dummy."

"Aw, fuck! Don't go doing that!" He looked down at his feet. "Oh, yeah! I might need scissors though. I could rip them, but I'd ruin them in the process."

"I wouldn't! Unless you ever lose control and I ever need to shut you down."

"I didn't think that was possible. If you can do that it might mean OASIIS can, if they ever track us down."

"Let's hope not."

"This feels hopeless. There's no place to hide out and it's spitting rain." Lucy pouted! "Seductress has me wet enough as it is." The others tuned her out. Even they found her constant sexual verses to be overkill. Sweet woman Lucy Diamond, it was not by her design. While yes, she loved sex, and did often flirt in her 38-year-old original body. The constant connotations were all Seductress mode! For an 6-year-old, android or not, that alone was beyond inappropriate. Charlie Newborn knew she was going to be a handful. The future for her looked grim.

"Up ahead! There's an old factory that's boarded up. Let's take shelter there for the night."

"Are you sure Chuck? You do know St. Louis has a huge population of homeless people. There might even be drug users in there."

"We're homeless!" Lester pointed out! "Drugs can't affect us. We're not there to babysit any addicts."

"My android ability is medicinal." Charlie brought up. "When the assassin protocols were still active my body was designed to pass off poisons through my cells. Jared Temple managed to reverse the dark side of this body to the point I can manufacture loads of chemical alternatives like insulin or vaccines. All I need is a recipe to design what I need, which Patti can create for me by looking things up in her head. We could do a solid for a few folks around here and offer free medical. Whatever is in our power at least."

"We all have something unique going for us Bro. My speed and reflexes are my gold medal Jesse Owens, Carl Lewis jam. Strength like you and I have helps. Lucy is our damsel in distress, she can only use telekinesis and telepathy. Normal strength for a 6-year-old girl is her drawback."

"Don't remind me!" Lucy sighed, hugging Lester. Her hand gravitating to his crotch he let her rub his android erection. His own Seductor mode was in check, his hard on was solely amplified by his personal desires. She read his thoughts however and that made for an interesting ride. "You know I like turning you on Les."

"Who's calling me a Lez?" Patti laughed sharing a telepathic intrusion. All of them were well aware of the other's thoughts being so close together. Ignoring them Charlie veered into a parking lot and pulled in behind a large shed. Shutting the scooters down the group left them leaning on the building. No security, no cameras the place was albeit lifeless. Perfect!

Examining the shed first it had chains coiled around the door handles. Touching the window Charlie Newborn adopted another facet of his powers. As if drawing molecules out of the air he could calculate all chemicals within the structure. "Wonderful! I think we have a meth lab."

"Nobody around! Do they take days off?" Lester chuckled! "Lazy fucks!"

"No clue! Let's move on." Following their designated leader they discovered more chained doors preventing access.

"Are we busting any locks, Chuck?"

"Better not! There's a broken window up there. Lucy with me, Pat on Lester's back. Let's start climbing, Mr. Olympics!" A drainpipe used Charlie's strength level was equivalent to ten strong men, as was Lester's. Between the two of them they carried their cutie pie backpacks up until Patti could escape Lester and carefully climb through the sharded glass. Her android epidermis suffered cuts but healed up without pain, blood substance or torn muscles. Androids were built sturdy.

Glass removed Lester was next lending Lucy a hand inside. Charlie was the one to suffer, Lucy's bare bottom was right in his face. Sad! He did his best to overlook the situation knowing his thoughts would trigger Lucy's Seductress mode even further than it already was. Sure, he was a man, but the whole childlike physique was just not right. He pictured a grisly old woman with no dentures to prevent her detecting his curiosity. Whew! Blocking their telepathy in his power set Charlie maintained his secret. Dodged a Barbie!

All inside, the darkness was foreboding. One of their perks was night vision, their android perception more advanced than humans. Lucy was the only unlucky sole, her less than advanced body was the closest to being human. Her sight was useless in the pitch blackness. Luckily, Charlie held her hand and telepathically guided her along. When she became a slacker, he had her piggyback him again. It made things faster.

From room to room, they found nothing but garbage and human feces. It was obvious the homeless were around somewhere. Discarded syringes and bands to tie off circulation for heroin users were everywhere. It was depressing to say the least.

"Want me to scour the warehouse? I can move faster than you guys."

"No! Let's just find a less unsanitary room on this level and hole up for the night. We might not need to worry about germs, but the area is just sickening."

"I stepped in a pile of shit." Patti grimaced! "The conditions here are inhumane."

"No running water, I'm sure. Just live with the squish and your android flesh will devour it and convert it to energy."

"So gross!" Overlooking Patti's squeamishness, a human trait that should be long gone, they moved on!

"What's that odor, Charlie?" Lucy mumbled into his ear. "It reeks!"

"Smells like blood." As a Catalyst Android, basically a medic, Charlie Newborn's powers knew all things foreign antibody. "Slow up, Lester! Fall back and let me go ahead alone. Lucy, move over to Lester's back. Patti? Watch our flank."

"On it, Chief!"

Leaving the others Charlie ventured into a huge conference room long emptied of tables. The only issue here was the fact the room was technically not empty. "Fuck me!" His eyes easily pierced the doom and gloom. "What have I walked us into here?"

"What do you see, Charlie?" A three-way telepathic verse struck him all at once.

"This is not our shelter. We need to clear out." All around him were dangling dead bodies on meat hooks. Over twenty corpses, blood dried and here for a while. At least a week he determined by decomposition. No wonder there was lime all over the floor, to help against the stench. "I think we've stumbled onto a slaughterhouse. I count 23 deceased on pigstickers."

"Oh, shit!" The consensus was strong. Joining Charlie against his wishes they had to see this for themselves. "Dear God! There are children amongst them." Patti pointed! "This has to be the work of a serial killer."

"You think?"

"Do we call 911?" Lucy whined!

"Not until we're clear of this place. We can't risk exposure. Let's go!" This time they took the stairs down rather than retrace their steps. Fuck it! Locks were broken on the way out. In doing so it dawned on Charlie that so many innocent victims lost their lives here and felt horrible about it.

"Charlie?" Patti called out as Charlie paused in step. "Our scooters are missing."

"Which means someone is here with us. The killer maybe!"

"Or the meth heads." Lester shrugged!

"Or the meth heads are hanging upstairs with the homeless."

"What do we do, Chuck?" Lucy was terrified. Not as indestructible as her friends she felt horror like her human self. Emotions were part of her programming, so the tears were rolling, and she was trembling heavily.

"We run!"

Famous last words!

"GOING SOMEWHERE?"

If an android could jump out of its skin.

"Our guns say differently."

Make those serial killers!

Inexperienced as androids they should have known better.

Oopsie!