Walking The Line Ch. 10

The days blur together and become weeks within the blink of an eye. At one point, Chris often lamented his fate daily, but recently, it hasn't been too bad. The ache in his heart hasn't gone away altogether, but has instead melted, fused with something distinctly less painful, and shaped itself into a new emotion altogether. One he can't put his finger on, not distinct enough to become succinctly named, but not too unfamiliar either. He's teetering on a tightrope at all times, but he can always feel a warm presence behind him. Cheering him on and making fun of him at inopportune moments. He's on the edge of change, but at least he's no longer alone.

His wayward thoughts are stifled when he feels his phone buzz in his pocket. He tends to silence it at work, lest he have a repeat of Avery's shenanigans not too long ago. Not that he'd be vehemently opposed to another escapade, but he does legitimately have work to do on occasion. His business is not a money laundering front, much to his despair, and it makes him work on the occasional spreadsheet. Most days, yes, he's saddled with busywork, which would turn the average person mad, but Chris enjoys the tedium to some extent. There's no pressure for deadlines, no boss breathing down his neck demanding sales. For all intents and purposes, his job is perfectly mundane, enjoyably average.

Despite the project he has to finish by the end of the week, he decides to sneak a glance against his better judgement. It could be a scam text, which has been ramping up in frequency and lacking originality in recent months. But in his heart of hearts, as his phone screen jumps to life, he already knew who it would be. In recent weeks, he's developed a bit of a sixth sense when it comes to Avery. So when he unlocks his phone and takes a gander at the photos she's sent, he's somewhat proud of his morale holding strong. His jaw barely goes slack when he glances through the things she's sent and their accompanying messages.

A: guess who's gone for the weekend? ;)

C: I'm going to assume your husband.

Chris responds, zooming in on the pictures of various sex toys she's sent. Some are more mundane, likely for her pleasure on quiet evenings when nobody is around. But some are more extravagant, obviously requiring a partner to operate. And more titillating yet, some are downright kinky. They give Chris pause and force his eyebrows sky high. He didn't take Avery as the type to be into anything even remotely resembling BDSM, but he supposes he still has a lot to learn.

A: u interested?

C: I'm always interested.

A: well yeah duh. But i mean about the toys

Chris hesitates, thumbs hovering over the touchpad as he contemplates his next move. He decides it's likely best to throw tact to the wind and be upfront. She might try to play coy, but Chris needs to know what he's about to walk into, should he choose to keep her company over the weekend. He hasn't been in every single room in their house, and if she's about to invite him into a kinky sex dungeon...

He shakes his head, violently dispelling the vision from his mind. Something has been wrong with him lately. His daydreams have gotten wilder, and his assumptions are cautious to a fault.

C: The massive vibrators or the kinky stuff?

Chris asks bluntly, always the one to get straight to the point. Hopefully, in the future, he can learn to ease into it like Avery and have more grace when it comes to dirty talk. But right now, he can't help how he begins to perspire when looking at some of her more outlandish toys. He swallows thickly, imagining how they can be used, especially the ones he's unfamiliar with.

A: both : P

A: bet ur wife doesnt have anything like this

She sends a picture of a particularly colorful dildo, shaped in a way Chris has never seen before, and he nearly has a heart attack. He can't even begin to guess how such a thing is used, and he supposes Avery is right to some extent. He's always been fairly vanilla with Hazel, not for lack of trying, but because it's always worked for them; neither had ever pushed for more. And Hazel especially didn't seem interested in taking it a step further. It wasn't something that ever bothered Chris until the exact moment it did. Around the time he discovered her infidelity, and learned that she did indeed have a less tame side to her, just not with Chris.

He swallows, trying to dispel the dry feeling from his mouth as he considers all this. Does Avery somehow know how boring he's been with his wife? Or is she simply hazarding a guess? Just how obvious are all his sorrows to this woman?

C: I'm a bit surprised.

Chris admits, smiling quietly to himself, fondness quickly replacing his surprise. He supposes it shouldn't be surprising in retrospect. Avery spends a good deal of time alone, or in the arms of various other partners in an attempt to regain power, or have stimulation, or whatever the hell it is she does. She's likely explored more than he has, both in private and with others.

Is she extending an invitation to him now? Is that what this is? He assumed she was teasing him again, but perhaps she has plans for the weekend.

A shiver begins to creep up his back, but he clears his throat, stomping the excited feeling out like smoldering embers. He can't afford to have excitement engulf him now, not at work or before the work week ends.

A: by my collection?

C: Yeah. And the fact that you're sending it to me at all.

A: I just didnt want to jump u this weekend. thought it could be fun to take it to the next level, but its not fun if you dont have time to think about it

C: Yes, consent is sexy.

A: dont say that. it sounds lame coming from u lmao

A: but yeah thats the gist of it ;)

Chris smiles, thankful for her discretion on the matter. He's grateful not to be "jumped" by her kinky ideas for them, but agrees with the notion that stating such things aloud tends to become corny. Two things can be true at once.

He also understands that if he continues to look at the pictures for any longer, he'll put too much strain on his poor heart and subsequently the blood flow to other regions, so he'll need to wrap this conversation up. He enjoys texting with Avery, but when it gets too dirty too quickly, he gets a bit too flustered for his own good.

C: You'll have to pardon my ignorance but since I'm new to all of that, but

Chris curses as he notes that his phone cannot italicize his words. He's always had a flair for the dramatic while writing, and feels that texting doesn't accurately convey his tone.

He shakes his head, pulling himself out of his stupid wandering thoughts yet again. He needs to get a grip. When a hot woman is interested in you, it's not the time to get lost in semantics.

A: but...?

Avery eggs Chris on, and he sighs, capitulating fully to the fact that he's bland to a fault.

C: Hazel and I never used any of that kind of stuff, so if you want to proceed with it, I'm fine. But I'd prefer to start with something a little more tame.

He wearily eyes the whip in the corner of the picture she sent as a chill runs down his spine. His eye twitches as he remains a bit unnerved by some of the more ostentatious items.

A: I can practically sense u freaking out from here LMAO

A: dont worry, some of this is mostly for show

A: unless u were also talking about the toys?

C: Unfortunately I'll have to admit that we never used those.

A: chris, toys arent kinky. Theyre a part of any healthy bedroom life...

A: i am sorry to be the bearer of bad news

Chris fidgets, feeling like his clothes are too tight. He knows she's right, but she's got him in the hot seat now. Whether this was her intention or not, he's got to lay all his unfortunate cards on the table.

C: Yes, I know.

C: My point still stands. Avery never wanted to use any toys. I guess she had a somewhat puritan view on what sex is, or rather should be.

A: oh dear god

A: im not even a marriage counselor and i already see how this happened

A: but still it is kind of weird. It seems like u were willing to try more stuff out with her and she still cheated?

A: isn't it usually the other way around?

Chris has wondered about this a lot as well. He's used to the stories of stale marriages with listless bedroom lives, where romance is dead on arrival once a couple's clothes come off. But he truly did feel like he did his part. He suggested date nights, different positions, and items they could use, but she refused all his advances. Always with a smile on her face, she would plant a kiss on his cheek and say nothing was wrong. For the longest time, he believed her until he couldn't turn a blind eye to the red flags any longer.

And now he's a grown man distraught by the sight of rainbow dildos. The dramatic irony of it all isn't lost on him. He couldn't save his dying marriage with spice, but he might be able to kindle a new relationship with it. It's poetic in a fucked up way.

His relationship with Avery is also precarious, but for different reasons. He doesn't think he will scare her off by being boring and unsettled by her wildness. For some reason, he's pretty sure she's charmed by it. Even if it kills his ego somewhat, it does him some good to be honest and let Avery take charge in their friends-with-benefits situation.

A: no offense of course

C: None taken

C: But yeah, you're right. I wasn't going to push the issue though, and now it seems like I'm too late.

A: ah well fuck her

A: no actually, fuck me instead

A: we can take it slow. I dont even use a lot of this stuff most of the time. It comes out for halloween on occasion

Avery sends a picture of her in a skintight costume at a party, brandishing a whip with a devilish smile and leather heels. Suddenly, a lot of things make sense all at once.

A: we have the entire weekend, afterall

C: I'll let you pick something suitably vanilla for my venture into uncharted territory.

A: our venture, with me steering the ship ; D

Chris smiles and then flushes as Avery sends over multiple inappropriate videos. He doesn't have to open them and view them to be able to tell what they contain; the thumbnails paint an illuminating picture.

A: filmed these while thinking of u, tell me what u think

C: can't, at work

A: kk

A: get back to me later

C: It's a deal

Chris slides his phone into his pocket and tries very hard not to think about the weight he feels from within it. Like a glowing digital reminder of his desire, he swears that the hours drag by more slowly after his exchange with Avery, and he really ought to silence his phone when he's at work if she's going to keep pulling stunts like this.

--

After speeding home and arriving within record time, he hurries into the house, only slowing to a stop at the very last minute to catch his breath and avoid alarming his wife. It wouldn't be a good look to bust through the door, kool-aid man style, and freak her out.

So he straightens his clothes and smooths his collar down, ensuring it isn't sticking out at an odd angle. He enters the house calmly, keeping his eyes on the floor as he slips out of his shoes and neatly slots them away.

There's a sound from the far back of the house, like the TV is on, but not quite. He can hear Hazel talking, but the other voice is more muffled and less identifiable. Chris cocks his head to the side as he cautiously pads his way into the living room.

He stops short of rounding the corner that will put him within Hazel's reach. For some reason, his blood runs cold as all thoughts of Avery's videos dissipate. Hazel is talking in a hushed tone of voice, the other end of the now undistinguishable sound of a man's voice causes his heart to sink. Hazel laughs loudly, shushing the nondescript masculine voice, and Chris sees red for the first time since he caught her the first time.

He tried to act relaxed when he came in just to avoid tipping her off to his excitement and hurry to get up to their bedroom and privately watch the videos. Yet here she is, chatting away with undoubtedly one of her many boy toys, in their fucking living room. Does she want to be caught? Or is she genuinely this stupid?

Without thinking, he takes a purposefully loud step into the living room and plasters a fake smile on his face. The type he wears when dealing with particularly surly customers at work.

Hazel jumps, whirling around to face Chris with a stunned expression. Her eyes are wide, and she's pale as a ghost. Her mouth opens as she stammers an apology to the other side of the line, then hangs up quickly.

"Who was that?" He asks politely, taking another calculated step past the threshold, but no further. He's unsure if his body language screams of aversion, but he doesn't care at this point. If they need to hash it out here, that's fine. If she has another web of lies to weave, he'll let her. He wants to make her squirm, though. He's owed a small amount of her discomfort.

A small part of him wonders where all of this is coming from. He's never been this angry, not even when he found her texts and photos the first time all those months ago. He's known forever what's going on, so why now? Why does his face feel like a contorted mask? Why does his voice sound foreign to his ears?

His blood is simmering, but as Hazel's shoulders drop and her body relaxes, he realizes that he must only be feeling this way on the inside. Hazel smiles calmly as her eyes take in his tall form. She stands to join him, yet he does not move to hold her.

"Oh, just work. Sorry you had to hear all of that!"

"I didn't hear much, I just got home." He hesitates as they stand an arm's length from each other. It feels like an armed standoff to him, but she seems oddly relaxed.

There's no way he's this good of a liar. Does she not sense his anger, or...

Does she not care?

"Just as well." She shrugs as she stuffs her hands into her hoodie and ducks past him, making her way to the front door.

"Finishing your work call outside?" He asks. He's pushing his luck, but he doesn't care. He feels decidedly self-destructive right now. He's hiding his emotions, his affair, everything from her, and here she is flaunting all of her dirty laundry openly. It's sickening.

"Yeah, it might take a while." She says as she puts on some slippers and unlocks the door.

Chris doesn't wait up. As soon as the door is closed, he sighs and leans back against the wall. His head feels fuzzy in the aftermath of his implosion and her retreat. He's unsure if she sensed the tension or if she is so out of tune with him that it's made her brain dead, but he supposes it could theoretically be both.

He doesn't understand what finally set him off, what gave him the courage to stand up for himself in some small way. He shakes his head as he grumbles to himself, quickly ascending the stairs and locking the master bedroom behind himself. Hazel probably won't bother him for a while, but he can't be too sure.

Though he still feels perturbed, he can't quite pinpoint the source of his angst, and the more he thinks about it, the more his head begins to hurt. He'd rather avoid developing a migraine, so he decides to drop the thing entirely. He'll file his messy thoughts and feelings away for further examination later.

He pulls his phone out and shoves his headphones on, for once refusing to stew in his self-pity. He can't keep worrying himself about these types of things.