Affair x Affair

It was just before midday and this was when I liked to do the shopping. The kids were off to school and my husband was at work. The world was busy in their institutions be it work or school but I had these precious few hours to myself before the chaos of the school run and cooking for my husband.

The store was quiet as it usually is at this time of the day and I leisurely strolled the aisles with my cart. I had all of the time in the world to get what I needed for tonight's meal. I liked fresh vegetables for my meals. For most of my life I had only eaten vegetarian but my husband did not care for such ideals and preferred meat in his dishes but I had him promise to never eat beef. Marriage was all about compromise.

A man was walking towards me and I realized I was blocking the aisle as I usually drifted into my own world during these quiet shopping trips so I moved to the side to allow him to pass. But he did not seem to be intending on passing and changed course to come towards me again. I looked behind me in a moment of panic to see if there was someone else he could be walking towards.

"Nothing to worry about. He just seems a little lost," I try to re-assure myself. But for a moment I decide to take in his appearance and I had a good eye for initial impressions. He was carrying a bit of weight, the shirt not looking as smart as it struggled to stay tucked in. Tie loose. Eye bags and slumped shoulders that suggested he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. But he had a kind face. It is hard to describe such a thing but I felt sorry for him as he reminded me of an older uncle but he could not be much older than me. It is strange how we age and we never realize we have now become the aunties and uncles that we once considered so old. This was true of me as I pretended to celebrate my 30th birthday for the last 3 years.

"Are you the wife of Arjun Sinha?" He asked as he came right next to me. I held the rail of my shopping cart tightly.

"What? Yes. Who is asking?" My body language was defensive as I did not know this man and this whole interaction was confusing.

"I am sorry for the information I will be imparting on you. I hate to do something like this but a desperate man forgets decorum," he said and I became a little afraid. I was a woman alone and I feared for myself.

"Your husband is cheating on you," he said and he dropped an envelope in my cart.

I was shocked and frozen at the words. The slap of the envelope as it landed in my cart made the scene a whole lot more dramatic. My mind was in shock as he walked away but how could he leave after dropping such a bombshell, "Wait!" I shouted behind him but he did not wait or even glance back. He had a message and he delivered it.

I did not dare open the envelope. I convinced myself he was a crazy person and I should throw away the envelope when I finish but I didn't. I brought it home with me.

It was on the table as I just stared at this envelope. Whatever was in this envelope could implode my whole life? My kids? My husband? The family I loved would be ruined. Would Arjun cheat? When we first got married we had sex all of the time but it was over 10 years now and two kids later, the passion was not there. But he could not complain as we still had sex on special occasions and I always tried to satisfy him despite my sex drive being non-existent in recent years.

The tension was too much for me and I had to know what this evidence was. Maybe it was just a prank and I was acting all crazy?

I decided to rip the envelope open as the curiosity became too much to ignore and there I saw the evidence. Pages of text messages between Arjun and Pamela, his junior colleague. I never liked the elusive way Arjun behaved when talking about her but I never had no reason to doubt him. We had two kids together and he gave me a good life.

But as I read the messages, I became more horrified with each detail I discovered. They revealed an emotional affair and undoubtedly an actual affair but messages were not real evidence and I could not destroy my marriage over messages. I had to pick up the kids in 20 minutes. I ripped up the contents and hid them at the bottom of the bin as I returned to my housewife life.

It was easier to rip up the papers but it was harder to forget the words from the paper.

"I have never felt like this about anyone." Behnchod. What about your wife?

"My husband cannot give me, what you give me." She was a shameless randi. I wondered if it was her husband that I saw at the store.

"Are you there, Anita?" My husband asked as I drifted off into these thoughts.

"Yes. Just thinking about what to cook for tomorrow," I replied and he chuckled. I must seem like the stupid little suburban housewife to him. I began to look at him differently. How could he play such a double role in life? The perfect husband and the perfect affair partner?

"Your colleague, what is she called, the younger one, Pamela. Why don't we invite her and her husband over for dinner? You said she was great on that recent project," I said to test his reaction.

"Oh. It has crossed my mind also but I don't think her husband is very sociable. He is much older than her and you know how these arranged marriages are." Usually I would have laughed and enjoyed the gossip but it felt different, almost like he was trying to denigrate their relationship and demean this man deliberately.

"What was his name again? I always forget these names and I feel it is rude of me," I said as I tried to pry the information I really needed from him.

"Mohit Reddy. I think. Or maybe Rohit or some other hit. But like I said they don't socialize as a couple," he said trying to mock him and I did not like it. But I gave a half hearted laugh so he was not suspicious that I knew about his affair.

"Maybe another time," I replied as we settled to sleep but tonight I could not sleep. My mind was alive with fears and anxieties that would not allow me to sleep.

The next morning once the kids were off to school, I began to search the internet for Mohit or Rohit. There were many on social media but none that looked like the man that approached me. Maybe it was not her husband that approached me. Her husband did not have a profile on any social media but then I found him or who I thought was him. He looked so different in this picture. More hair, slimmer and just a bit handsome unlike the man I met in the store. Mohit Reddy, consultant heart surgeon. My first impression was completely different as I saw a broken man. Perhaps, he was ironically a broken hearted man.

I had to speak to him as I could not share this with anyone else. So I called his hospital to get through to him.

"Doctor Reddy does not take calls from patients. You will need to arrange an appointment with his secretary," the switchboard lady was dismissive.

"I am his wife. It is an urgent family matter," I said in an annoyed manner.

"I will try his line for you," she said reluctantly.

Before long I heard his line ringing and a dread built up inside of me. What was I planning on saying to him?

"Pamela, why are you calling the hospital?" He asked confused.

"It is not Pamela. It is Anita. Arjun Sethi's wife. I need to speak to you urgently," I said.

"Don't speak on this line. Take my private number," he said.

I called him a second after the call disconnected.

After our initial awkward hello, he broke the silence.

"I am sorry about burdening you with this. I can tell no one else about this. There is a stigma and a shame that I am unable to wash off. But I thought you deserved to know. I sincerely apologize once more," he said.

"Stop apologizing. You have told me now so what is done is done. But it is not enough evidence. I have two boys," I said.

"I have a young girl. Barely school age," he said as we opened up and just talked for the next hour but he was called away soon after.

Talking to him seemed to calm me as my world was spinning. I liked his soothing voice and he had a way of making me open up. I could share my fears and insecurities with him. Who better to understand than him?

The comfortable life I had seemed to be in danger but I would not dare confront my husband without real evidence. But what evidence could be enough? Irrefutable evidence? Messages would not be enough. They did not prove anything. If I ruined my marriage over some fleeting messages, then I would be the fool. I needed more. My life meant too much to me to simply blow up over allegations.

There was a moment where I simply decided that I had to ignore this and hope it went away. Many women lived blissful lives in ignorance. I had my boys and I had a happy life for all intents and purposes.

There were things that I found therapeutic and cleaning was one of them. It helped me distract my mind from the problems I faced in the world and this was one of those times. I was dusting the picture frames when I saw a picture we took last summer at a theme park. I remembered this day distinctly as it was a picture I was particularly proud of. The frame I had searched for days through various website until I found the perfect one. We were smiling and the picture presented a nice family moment despite the day being full of tantrums and rollercoastsers. It made me think about my marriage and how it was just like this picture, the image of perfect family but away from the camera, my husband was a cheater and I was the deluded housewife.

*Smash* the crashing sound filling the room as I threw the frame against the wall in a fit of rage and watched it as it shattered. That is how my husband made me feel in this moment.

My husband asked about the picture in the evening and I made an excuse about it falling and I had already ordered another frame.

"You take good care of the house," he said. It was usually a nice comment but today it filled me with rage. I had to bite down on my tongue as I looked at my husband in the bathroom brushing his teeth. How could he live so comfortably in this lie? My mind was going crazy with every minute that passed but I tried to forget and play the blissfully ignorant wife.

My husband and my kids kept me busy usually but it was when I was alone that I found it hard to stop thinking.

I was sat staring blankly at the wall as I tried to recall all the times he had said he was working late. It was usually two times a week. Did they meet in hotels? Were they happy with a passionate fuck in the store room? Toilets? Office desk? The thought of them stealing passionate moments and invariably mocking me, made me want to vomit. My mind was going crazy as I imagined Pamela being a seductress that took married men. But then her husband was so nice and decent and that brought my mind back to Mohit.

Something inside of me, urged me to call him. Only he could understand the pain that I was feeling in this moment.

"Hey, are you ok?" He answered. But I had no time to waste in making conversation on the telephone. I needed his calmness around me.

"Can we meet?" I asked. He said he would meet me as he had an hour free. I met him at a coffee shop not too far from the hospital.

He was sat in the corner of the coffee shop as though this was some clandestine meeting but in some ways we were doing something that was wrong, we were plotting and conspiring with each other. But it was necessary to ensure that we acted with certainty. If we were wrong, our lives would be drastically changed.

He had this withered look of a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. A rough, small unkempt beard of a man that was simply not grooming himself rather than someone who was a beard aficionado. He had these kind eyes but he looked like a man that was haunted.

After exchanging awkward pleasantries I asked the question that had been plaguing my mind, "How can you be so certain?" My hand was shaking and I moved to the side and placed it under my thigh to stop myself from rattling.

"How much certainty do you need? The messages I showed you were discovered by pure chance as her messages were being downloaded on to our family tablet due to her connecting the devices. I have checked her bank statements but she is careful. A few transactions have stood out to me. Late night meals, coffee dates..." he said and then awkwardly looked around at the coffee shop we were in. It brought me back to the idea that we should not be talking and definitely not meeting.

"But have you seen them together?!" I asked as I am forced to lift my hand up to gesticulate in my frustration. My hand is shaking once more as my nerves get the better of me.

"I know. The unknown is killing me. But the evidence will be in Arjun's bank statements. They must be paying for the hotels somehow," he said.

"Even if they need a hotel," I said as those thoughts of them seeking passion in all manner of places flooded my mind briefly.

He gave me a confused look as though this fact only dawned on him that they could be fucking on his desk right now without the need for a hotel

"I don't handle the finances," I said quickly to bring us back to our conversation and out of these dark illicit thoughts. It suddenly dawned on me how little control I had over my own life, never mind my husband's.

I am on the verge of tears and he holds my trembling hand as he senses my emotional vulnerability.

"I am sorry for hurting you," he said but he didn't hurt me. We were both being hurt by people who should be protecting us.

He had a tender touch and I felt something deep within me as the touch of our hands brought a deeper connection. There was a warmth that I had not felt in a long time and that he was able to bring from his touch. His fingers and thumb delicately rubbing my palm brought a calmness to my mind and body. For a moment I was lost in the moment and unable to withdraw until the waitress interrupted us.

I did not let any further contact occur between us as there was something strange developing between us. The goodbye was awkward as he leaned in for a hug but I backed away and gave a wave. He was polite and awkwardly waved back as we both left the shop. What was I afraid of? It was hard to explain what I felt. There had been a pain that blocked myself feeling such things but his touch brought a long dormant feeling out of me. It was the thing I was afraid of.

As I was driving out of the car park, I drove past the car of a family friend. I had to be evasive to ensure I was not seen by her but it made me rule out the coffee shop for any future meetings.

My mind would flip backwards and forwards about what to do. Why could I not merely live in an ignorant bliss? My life was so good. But then I would get those pangs of jealous rage where I wanted to cause pain to my husband. He could be doing the most routine thing and I would want to hurt him. If I did not know the truth, the suspicions would kill our relationship.

He was usually guarded with his phone and he had a 6 digit code or fingerprint protection to unlock the device. There were 4 potential codes I had in mind. Anniversary. Nope, I tried that. My date of birth. Nope again. I tried both our boys date of birth and it was nope again. Those were the four codes I had thought he would use but he didn't.

I had tried to spy the password but still no luck. I had only managed to capture the first two digits 27. I was getting paranoid and crazy but I tried to act like the perfect housewife.

He had left his phone on charge and it was only ever during this time that I could try to use the phone. These actions were for people much conniving than I. I could never be a spy.

Some nights I would scroll Pamela's social media to see what made her so special. She never posted her husband. She did not seem to care for him. For a mother, she posted a lot of pictures in what I would term as slutty dresses but she was still on the right side of thirty. She was a lot younger than Mohit and I could see the reasons for the tension in their relationship but I was definitely on his side. I had been scrolling some time when a notification popped up. A work anniversary. 27th March, a date a few days away from date that had been etched into my mind.

That date was important to me for a much different reason. It was the date I lost my daughter, 20 weeks into my pregnancy. It was quite traumatic for me and it was a pain that made me want to block all notions of romance and love from my mind.

The next time I got access to his phone and to my shock the date of her work date worked. My husband never knew the date I lost my baby but it still hurt that in the days of immense pain for me was a day he kept as his password.

Once I was in, Mohit's words stayed with me. I went to his banking apps and downloaded his statements for every card he had. I quickly sent them to my phone and deleted any trace of me accessing them. My heart was pumping and it felt like I was on a secret mission. There was some dark thrill in working covertly with Mohit.

The trips with Mohit were becoming risky and I feared being accused of having an affair. Mohit suggested a diner out of town that was secluded and mainly used by out of towners but I hated this idea and then he suggested a quiet motel that would allow us to meet and park in a secluded area. It was only after I put the phone down that I regretted agreeing to this.

On the day, I was nervous as hell about meeting in the motel room but we needed somewhere private where we would not be seen. I parked behind the motel and out of view of any visitors or passers by. Mohit had told me the room number and I was about to knock on the door when he was there waiting for me and opened the door before I could knock.

He let me in and he was just as nervous as me as I could see the sweat patches on his shirt and the sweat on his brow.

It was awkward as we exchanged pleasantries and then he asked me what I found.

"I have these but I don't know what I am looking for," I said as I handed my phone over to him with the bank statements opened. My husband and I never really swapped or shared phones but I felt I could trust Mohit, a stranger to me. But in a strange way we were connected by our partners' actions.

He began to search some things on his phone and I asked curiously, "What have you found?"

"Have you received flowers in the last few months?" He asked.

"No," I replied.

"He has spent over $200 on flowers in the last 2 months. It seems like a waste as Pamela does not bring them home," he tries to make a joke and I am unable to suppress a giggle.

"Is there anything else?" I asked.

"He has spent quite a lot on jewellery and some lingerie. I mean at a lingerie store. I don't know what he bought of course. Could he have bought these for you?" he asked.

"What store?" I asked. My birthday was 6 months ago and I got a bracelet but these were recent purchases. Lingerie? He never bought that for me.

Mohit brought up the website and the lingerie was quite lewd. "Do you wear such items?" He asked and it seemed to be inappropriate but we were also trying to figure out if our partners were cheating and in that context his curiosity seemed reasonable.

"A long time ago," I replied and his eyes briefly glanced at my body. Was he imagining me in such items? This was bad. So bad. We were playing with fire by being here alone.

He then lay back on the bed and groaned in frustration.

"Pamela has said she does not want any more children and we go months at a time without sex," he said but I kind of had sympathy with a woman not wanting sex after the trauma of giving birth.

He was staring up at the ceiling in deep thought and I just lay back also joined him in staring at the ceiling.

"Mohit, if Pamela was not sleeping with my husband. It would not be wrong of her to not want sex or children after birth. Men only have to worry about testosterone but women have hundreds of different hormones to balance and our bodies go crazy during pregnancy and after," I tried to explain.

"Pamela does not talk to me about this and she is cold to me. So you explain it to me," he asked.

"For my first pregnancy, I was much younger. I was in my early 20's and my body was able to bounce back with exercise, dieting and yoga but after my second pregnancy, it was not the same. The pregnancy itself was difficult. Most days I was too drained to do much but my husband was not the helping kind. I was crying for no reason and just breaking down. After my pregnancy sex was the last thing on my mind and I never felt desirable. I tried desperately to get my body back but I ballooned. Only now I realize that it is not natural to be so skinny," I tried my best to explain.

He glanced over at me for a brief moment but averted his eyes once more.

"I understand what you mean. I would never pressure or force her to have sex but it hurts knowing she is having it with another man. But she clearly just wants sex for fun and I am no more use for her. She now has her claws in me," he said and there was an underlying anger that he was trying his best to keep from taking him over.

"Not all women are the same. Your wife is a slut.. I didn't mean that.. actually.. I think I did," I said as I was a little shocked at the demeaning word I used. I looked over at him and our eyes locked on to each other. We had been stealing glances but we were now staring into each other's eyes.

"Your husband is a cheating slut," he said.

His look was intense and I felt nervous. Butterflies in my stomach. The warmth I had been feeling inside of my body was growing and developing to a heat. There were only a handful of times in my life I had felt like this.

There was a magnetic pull drawing us to each other but then I felt him instantly close the distance of mere inches and I felt his lips on mine. A million thoughts going through my mind but I am unable to process a single one.

It was not expected. It felt rushed but there was a reaction within my body to the intimate connection. I stiffened up and my hand grasped his shirt in a defensive manner but he did not hesitate in the kiss. He was confident in the connection between us. My initial stiff reaction melted into something else as I find myself giving into the heat of my body. My body reacts in an instinctive manner as I kiss him back.

My lips soft as they melt into his. Our saliva begins to wet each other's lips. There is an intimacy to the kiss that is igniting a fire inside of me. His hand rests on my hip and he gently strokes my body.

The intimacy is growing deeper between us and his stroking is pulling up my dress. My hand softens on his chest and I find myself sliding it between the flaps of his shirt as I began to feel the hairs on his chest with my fingers. I try to force my hand in and a button tears off but it does not stop me.

Our bodies are inching closer together as his tongue enters my mouth. I open my eyes briefly out of shock as the sensuality of the kiss is increasing.

Our bodies make contact and I let myself grind against him as he confidently begins to inch my dress up. There is a gnawing thought in my brain that we should stop. We are committing the same sins as our partners but I don't want it to stop. Why can't I stop?

My tongue is wrapped around his as our bodies melt into each other. It feels so natural and normal and I have not had this warmth from my husband in some years. Our bodies are yearning for each other as we enjoy an intimacy that had been absent.

I know I must stop but I can't. My hand is rubbing his naked chest and we are humping each other as our kiss is cutting off oxygen to our brain. He begins to pull my dress up until my legs are exposed. His hand goes under the dress and gropes my ass. God! I missed being groped. But this was going too far and I really needed to stop. There was still something stopping me from breaking off the kiss.

All of a sudden he flipped me on my back and his body was between my legs. I rubbed my legs along his thighs but that urge to stop was becoming overpowering. This was too dangerous and tempting.

I eventually found the courage to break the kiss and I had to physically force him as the magnetic force between us was hard to break. I rolled him off as we both just lay there for a few seconds breathing heavily.

The adrenaline was flowing in my body as I found the courage to quickly get up and make my way to the door. He held my arm to stop but I gave him an angry look and he let go.

"We shouldn't meet again," I announced as I opened the door to leave.

"I am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you," he said. I close my eyes and sigh in frustration. I want to say something but my mind is so confused. I am angry with him for making me cheat and angry with myself for enjoying the passionate kiss. But was a kiss even cheating?

I left feeling frustrated and I held my tears until I was back at home. The emotions were overwhelming between the illicit actions and my feelings for Mohit. After I let out my emotions, I made a clear decision that I would not pursue this anymore and I would just lead the life of a blissfully ignorant loyal housewife. My own passions were too dangerous.

It had been a couple of weeks and I was holding it together as I buried this knowledge in the recesses of my brain.

We made a happy family unit and I tried to forget about Mohit and the disruption he had caused in my life. But it was hard to simply forget. During the day I could play happy families but at night I could not stop myself from dreaming of Mohit. He had ignited something inside of me that was impossible to shut off but I would do the best for my family.

Despite my best efforts, an innocuous message on my husband's phone would bring these thoughts flooding back to my consciousness.

"Room 242. 6pm." Was all that flashed up on my husband's phone.

It could mean anything I told myself but the next day I was parked outside the hotel that I had seen on my husband's bank statements. My kids with the babysitter as the time rolled around to 5.59pm. I had the entrance in my eye line but no sign of my husband or Pamela having entered. I felt stupid and I should trust my husband, I thought to myself.

I started my engine and began to compose myself as I steadied myself to drive back when I saw Pamela approach the entrance. I switched off the engine and quickly took out my phone to snap a picture but I only got the back of her head. I was not the greatest investigator but it was enough for me to wait.

The time rolled on but my husband appeared to be a no show. But I waited. I had the babysitter for another hour. It was over 30 minutes later that my husband appeared. I took a quick picture as my adrenaline was pumping. After he had entered I sped away as I dialed Mohit's number.

I was crying and blabbering.

"They are cheating! They are fucking cheating!" I screamed on the phone as I struggled to keep the car on the road.

My tears were uncontrollable as I wailed on the telephone.

"Where are you? I am coming to you!" He said but the words could not break through the wall of despair.

"I should have confronted them. I know the room number. I am going back!" I said as I almost crash trying to swerve the car around. The screeching sound of the other car is loud.

"Oh my god! Are you ok?" He asks as there is a deathly silence as the other driver shares expletives as I missed his car by mere inches.

"Yes," I replied to break the silence.

"I am coming to you," he said after I told him where I was. I was in a quiet industrial part of the city as it was the evening and the businesses had long closed.

I was in a large SUV, I was as typical as a suburban mom got, even down to my SUV. He did not take long to get to me.

He parked up next to me and then called me. He wanted permission before he entered my car. I asked him to sit in the backseat. We were away from the main roads and this area was quiet and secluded at this time. But I was afraid of being seen meeting a man in this clandestine manner. I was not as brazen and careless as my husband.

He quietly entered the back seat and sat down. He looked anxious and nervous.

"Are you ok? I have been so worried about you," he asked.

I could see him in my rear view mirror and the truth was his presence had already calmed me. He looked cute in an assuming way. My husband was the gym type and he always kept his body in a good shape but Mohit was different. Perhaps he did not gym because he had a large belly but he had these cute features and a natural attractiveness.

"I saw a message about a hotel room number and I saw them going to a hotel room together. Well, not together but close enough that it was obvious with the message," I said as I got out my phone to show the pictures. My hand was shaking as I handed him the phone to show the evidence.

He held my hand and his fingers traced the outside of my hand. His mere touch was enough to make me feel warm inside and to calm me.

He took my phone with his other hand and then simply held my hand. I turned to look at him for the first time directly and not through the aid of a mirror.

"Come in the backseat so we can talk?" He said.

I swallowed the saliva in my mouth and sighed. I was afraid of being close to him. I felt an attraction to him and there was an intimacy that the mere touch made me want him desperately.

I took off my shoes and climbed over the seats. He held my hand to help me over. My dress was pulled up a bit as I awkwardly climbed over and I was sure I flashed my panties to him but he was a gentleman and did not make it obvious. I pulled my dress down as I sat down next to him.

"Did you see the pictures?" He asked.

"Honestly, I just care about you and how you are feeling," he said as he held my hand.

"Please don't," I said as I feared he was angling for that kiss once more.

"I promise to remain in my limits and I will never transgress again. But am I not allowed to care about your feelings?" He asked.

I looked at his eyes and I saw a sincerity and he was burying his own hurt to care for me. My thumb caresses the palm of his hand.

"There is so much hurt that I cannot explain. Sometimes I wish I can just forget about this and go back to my functional family. 2 boys and... We were happy. Don't think we were not but three years ago things took a bad turn," I told him and I looked at him to check he was listening. He was and his whole body was focused on me.

"Three years ago was when my wife began working at that company," he said as he sensed some connection but it was not as straightforward as he imagined.

"I was pregnant at the time and we were going to have our baby girl but I failed in my one job as a mother. I lost the baby." It was the first time I was actually talking about it with someone. I began crying as the pain of 3 years came out. A pain that I had buried deep inside of me. A pain that my husband did not understand and just wanted to ignore.

Mohit embraced me and I exhaled from deep as I felt our bodies embrace in this intimate way.

"You did not fail. It was not your fault. You deserve to be loved and to never feel this way," he whispered into my ear. I just began to cry and let out the pain that I had kept inside of me.

He held me and I felt safe in his arms like the pain in my life could not hurt me. After a few minutes, I eased back off him as I let go of the hurt and pain. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my body.

I was about to wipe my tears when he took the initiative and wiped them from my eyes. I closed my eyes instinctively as I felt his thumbs run over my eyes gently. It was an intimate touch.

I opened my eyes as he stroked my cheek with one hand. He instinctively leaned in but then stopped himself and mouthed sorry for even daring to think to kiss. He was so god damn cute and there was a burning heat inside of me.

I almost pounced on him like a tigress as I kissed him. I did not hesitate as I inserted my tongue in his mouth. His eyes opened in shock but then he closed them as he enjoyed the sensation of the kiss. Our saliva mixed as we became one. His tongue was wrapped around mine as his hand stroked my thigh. There was something sensual about his touch but it did little to hide the sexual desires in our bodies. There was an inferno burning inside of me as I sought greater intimacy. I opened a button of his shirt and let my hand slide in but I was impatient as I tried to roam my hand freely around his body. I began to force my hand deeper into his shirt until the buttons began to tear.

His hand pulled up my dress and he was squeezing the flesh of the inside of my thigh. I instinctively trapped it between my thighs. He continued to massage the flesh of my thigh until I opened them for him. His hand cupped my pussy through my panties. He would be able to sense my heat and moisture.

I tore his shirt open and slid my hand down his body. I loved feeling the hairs on his body. I could his hard cock over his pants. I needed this. I needed a man like this that was connected to me emotionally and on such a deep level.

He was rubbing my pussy through my panties and I could not stop myself from moaning into his mouth as we kissed. His fingers were pressing against my hot pussy and my panties were growing wetter due to his manipulations.

"Uhmph!" I moaned as his tongue was muffling me.

My urgency caused me to open the button on his trousers and pull down the zip. I broke off the kiss as I placed my finger on his lips to motion for him not to speak. I was in a tender place and anything small or big could pull me out of my intended target. I pulled down his pants and underwear to his ankles. I lowered my panties down my legs and hooked them out of one leg.

I hitched up my dress and climbed on top of him. I could feel myself drip over his cock as I let it press against my wet inviting hole. I lowered down an inch and felt him enter me. It was the first time a man had been inside of me since my miscarriage.

"Uff!" I moaned as I took a deep exhale. It was just an inch but it signified that I had just committed the same sin as my husband we were now equal but it was time for me to enjoy myself.

"Uhmph! God!" I moaned as I lowered myself until he was fully inside of me.

I lowered the shoulder straps of my dress and bra until I exposed my breasts to him. They were sagging after breast feeding two boys and age but they still had a good shape.

Instinctively he began grope and squeeze my breasts. Before long he had my nipple in his mouth and he began to suck on my nipples. His tongue would circle and flick my nipple as he drove me crazy.

"Mohit! Yes!" I began to ride him fast and hard as I pumped his cock.

I was suffocating him with my breasts as my pussy worked as a suction on his cock. He was stretching me with his cock and my pussy clamped on to him like he belonged inside of me.

One of his hands was groping my ass whilst his other hand groped my breast as he suckled on my nipple.

My ass cheeks were clenching harder as I tried to keep a tighter grip on his cock. My body was gyrating and I was pressing his face into my breasts.

"Uh! I am close!" He said into my breasts as a warning but I needed to feel his cum. It had been too long since I had a man climax inside of man.

"Mohit! Unleash inside of me! Uff! I need you! I am so close!" I moaned as I felt my pussy go into overdrive as I rode his cock with no mercy.

His cock was throbbing inside of me and I sensed he was really close. I slammed down hard against him as our bodies became one.

I felt his cock throb and then I felt him violently erupt inside of me. It was a powerful ejaculation, one after the other until he filled my womb with his sperm.

I stayed on top of him for a minute or two. My ass cheeks clenching and releasing as I tried to put as much pressure on my pussy to milk him until I had milked every ounce.

I finally moved onto the seat next to him as we both breathed heavily.

"Are you ok?" He asked.

I smiled at him, "In the last three years, this is the first time I have been truly happy."

In some strange twist of fate, I had fallen in love with Mohit, the husband of the woman my husband was having an affair with.

I wished I could just be with Mohit but reality was hard. I had two children and I needed closure with my husband.

I needed time to confront my husband. I was ill 2 weeks later with a sickness bug and my selfish husband was never around to help me.

In my angry mood, I decided to confront him. I showed him the evidence we had gathered and I decided, "I am taking the boys with me. It is over."

My husband had this way of staring blankly at me and never giving anything away. He was never one to apologize or accept his mistakes. His face went red with anger and I expected him to explode but his reaction shocked me.

He fell to his knees and began sobbing.

"Please don't leave. I am sorry. It is true. I will end it. I don't want to lose the kids and you. It will ruin their lives. I am begging you. I am a piece of shit. Please don't leave me."

My kids were my weakness. I could not ruin their lives even though my heart was with another man. My body had been rushing with hormones since that day in the car with Mohit. It was a familiar feeling and my body was glowing.

It was a few days later that I made love with my husband for the first time in 3 years.

I owed Mohit a final meeting to explain but I knew I would not be able to control my emotions. I was in love wirh Mohit but I had to leave him. I sent him a farewell message to say I had fixed things with my husband.

***

Mohit

I did not stop thinking about Anita in the days and weeks after our meeting. I was in love. I felt a deep connection with a beautiful soul and I would light the world on fire for her. But her message broke my heart.

In the weeks after Pamela stopped staying late at work and the affair was over. She had entered a state of deep depression and then all of a sudden quit her job. In the weeks after she said she wanted another child. Our marriage was not perfect but I would never have the love of my life.

I followed Anita from afar and saw that she gave birth to a baby girl. I wondered if it was mine briefly but these questions would do no good for anyone. I was happy for her but I had to deal with my hearbreak in another way.

18 months after these events, Pamela gave birth to twin boys. Our lives were built around our children and we found a love for each other in this bonding.