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Spared as an Involuntary Sub Ch. 02

Note to reader: This story involves lots of female-on-male strap-on anal sex (pegging) with some reluctance/questionable consent. If that doesn't sound hot to you, then you may want to choose another story. The story picks up from the end of chapter 1, where Jake and Tanya are beginning a post-coital discussion.

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"So Tanya..." I said at last, still looking up at her ceiling and stroking her hair, "what the fuck is going on?"

She didn't start speaking right away, still moving her hand between my legs. Her fingertip started to pet my asshole. It felt good, and my body reflexively spread my legs further to encourage her. She slipped her fingertip just inside.

"Ohh, it's a little sore," I said in a small voice.

"It's going to be sore a lot," she said matter-of-factly, continuing to tease my opening. Fuck, she made me feel so submissive and desired. I closed my eyes and exhaled, giving in to her. Then she started to speak.

"This is going to sound crazy. You may not believe any of this, but it's the truth. Maybe it would be better if I made up some more realistic-sounding lie, but you and I are bonded now. I'll never lie to you again, Jake."

With her disclaimer completed, she took a deep breath, "My people call themselves the Arcane. Supposedly, we broke off from humanity millennia ago and have lived separately in secret ever since."Spared as an Involuntary Sub Ch. 02 фото

She paused to let this sink in, still fingering my asshole idly, seemingly just playing without any objective.

"It's illegal for any of my people to have sexual contact with a human. The Vow of Amon those brutes mentioned is an ancient law designed to maintain the purity of the bloodline by never breeding with humans. Typically if sexual contact is detected, it's punishable by a prison sentence for the Arcane.... and death for the human."

"Detected? You mean if they break down the door and catch you in bed with a hu-with someone?" I asked.

She slid her finger deeper inside me now. Maybe trying to distract me from the horrific truth she was revealing. I'd say it was working.

"We are marked with a rune at puberty. You've seen mine above my pussy."

I looked down at the familiar tattoo above her mons.

"If we orgasm in the presence of a human, it signals the Overseers."

I swallowed and tried to lighten the mood for my own sake. "An orgasm, huh? So you can have bad sex with a human, then?"

She chuckled, "Yeah, true, it's not a perfect system, though they teach us that we can't get pregnant without an orgasm... I dunno if that's really true."

Her finger started rhythmically stroking my prostate, and my dick began to stiffen again. I shuddered with pleasure, absently wondering how my refractory period could be so short.

"But there was a problem with the Vow," she continued her story, "Arcane men couldn't seem to keep their dicks out of human women. We were having to imprison our own at an unsustainable rate. So they came up with the solution of collaring submissive human women. They changed the law so that once a human was marked as a collared, she was no longer considered human. The collared became their own class, and it wasn't illegal to have sex with them."

Her finger was frankly fucking me now, making lewd wet sounds as it thrust in and out.

"Fuck," I grabbed her wrist firmly to stop her. She looked up at me questioningly. "That feels so good. But I can barely focus on what you're saying, and I sense that I'm about to be upset and turned off by what you're telling me. So I want you to stop talking for a few minutes and fuck me."

I almost couldn't believe I'd just said that, but it was the truth.

Her eyes lit up, and she smiled big. She looked like a junkie who'd just been offered a hit. But then she managed to rein herself in a notch and asked, "Are you sure, Jake? We can put the plug back in and you can take my ass cherry if you want..."

"Later. I... I just want you to fuck me right now." The words were embarrassing to say, but my body felt like it was in heat.

Her eyes flashed dangerously, and her smile became downright predatory. "Sure thing, babe."

She practically ran to the chest at the foot of her bed and pulled out her strap-on harness. She moaned happily as she pressed some internal part inside her cunt before tightening the straps. Her cock definitely throbbed and jerked without her touching it.

"What is that thing?" I asked in wonder and a little bit of fear.

She grinned. "This is my lingam. It's what allows Arcane women to penetrate their men. A female genius invented them a couple hundred years ago, but they've definitely become more popular over the generations. Different couples use them to varying extents, but it's almost unheard of for a woman to never try using a lingam these days." She gave me a strange look then, like something had just occurred to her.

"Why don't you get it nice and wet before it goes up your ass?" She stood up on the mattress, towering over me, the implications of the position obvious.

Somehow sucking cock, even a girl's cock, seemed in some ways more submissive than taking in it the ass. I opened my mouth and took the head inside, still conflicted. It pulsed on my tongue. I looked up at her with my mouth full of her throbbing cock, feeling more vulnerable than ever.

I don't know if I expected to see a confident sneer, but I was surprised to see Tanya looking as vulnerable as I felt. Her mouth hung open, taking rapid uneven breaths, her eyes looked down on me with wonder before they became unfocused as she moaned. "Ohhh! Oh baby, that feels soooo good."

I flicked my tongue under her glans, and she let out a girlish squeal. I smiled around her cock. This was so much more intuitive to me than eating pussy. While I loved licking a girl's snatch, I always felt like a foreigner, blindly exploring a beautiful new world. I had a much better idea of what a particular swipe of the tongue would feel like on a dick.

Hearing her moan and feeling her shaft swell between my lips was so rewarding that I almost forgot this wasn't the main event. With a cry, Tanya pushed hard on my shoulders so that I fell backwards off her lingam. She looked down at me with lust and indignation, like how dare I try to make her cum with my mouth and rob her of the opportunity to fuck me again.

"Turn around, boy," she growled. I grinned and rolled over.

She bent down over me, hungrily pressing a kiss to the back of my neck and trailing more kisses down my spine. I expected her to stop but then I felt her wet tongue in my crack. "Whoa!" I cried tensing my butt closed.

"It's okay, Jake. I know what I'm doing. Keep your ass up for me. Good boy." Her voice was so soothing and persuasive. I blushed with shame, but I still arched my back and raised my rump like a bitch for her.

Her tongue between my cheeks felt weird. It was ticklish and slimy. But it made my anus remember it was a fuck hole. And it felt like an honor that this beautiful woman would lick me there. Like I was the prince of slutty ass fucking. I heard myself breathing unevenly and leaking little whimpering sounds.

"You like that, baby? You have the cutest little asshole, so responsive. I could lick you all day. But you need more, don't you Jake?"

I felt her fingertip start to circle my anus. I did need more.

She teased me for a while, widening and narrowing her circles, threatening to deny me by lifting off slightly, only to chuckle as I pushed my hips back to reestablish her touch on my most private area.

Her finger slid inside my asshole, and I sighed with relief.

"Yeah, you like that," she taunted. I said nothing. "I won't make you say it. Your boypussy's begging for it." She tugged gently on my hip with her other hand, guiding me to fuck back on her finger. She slid a second finger in alongside the first.

"Ohhh!" I moaned.

Moments later her lingam was pressing into my anus. My wet puckered rim stretched and surrendered. I whined softly as she filled me.

"Ohh baby, I fucking love this. I'm going to fuck you like this as often as you let me, Jake."

Her words were like instant pleasure poured in my ear. I wanted to be her perfect fuck toy.

She started fucking my ass, deep and hard, plumbing my rear passage. I heard a whorish wail leave my throat.

"You love it, don't you, Jakey? GOOD BOY! Take your pleasure the way a good sub should, from being filled, from bending over and taking it deep."

She leaned forward, putting her weight in her hands with one between my shoulder blades pinning my chest to the mattress and the other in my hair burying my face in the pillow. The action automatically made me lift my hips higher. She drove in even deeper.

"So submissive, Jake, lifting that ass like a bitch for me, taking it all. Thank God I found a perverted boy who loves to bend over and have his ass pounded."

She moved her legs forward in front of mine so that her dick was bent almost straight down between her legs, stuffing my hole. She bounced her ass, riding me like a horse, deep-dicking me.

"Oh yeah baby! Can you feel that? Can you feel your asshole tightening up around my cock? You were made for this, Jake! Made to be penetrated! You were meant to be my collared! Touch yourself, baby, make yourself cum!"

My hand shot to the hard cock hanging between my legs. A few strokes is all it took. I came so hard I almost passed out. I collapsed forward into the mattress, and she rode me all the way down.

When I opened my eyes, she was holding a cum-covered finger to my lips expectantly. My white cum contrasted sharply with her black nail polish.

I made a face and shook my head. She stared into my eyes like she was trying to decide how far to push it.

She shrugged and sucked the finger into her own mouth. Then she brought the hand I'd been using to stroke myself up to her lips and sucked each of my fingers clean. It was animalistic and erotic.

"Why do you do that?"

"Cum is not to be wasted. We understand that," she said cryptically.

After she pulled out, I lay in her arms, my head on her ample chest, both of her hands in my hair, stroking my scalp. I had enjoyed it. Deeply.

I almost didn't want to break the silent peace between us, but the need for information was too great.

"Am I like this now because of that tattoo you put on my back?" I said in a quiet voice.

"Yes and no," she took a deep breath, and then she started to speak again.

"When I first met you, I thought we could just be friends, but then I was so attracted- and then so in love with you. I knew it was impossible for us to be together. But then I started to have this fantasy that I could take you as my collared. I mean, I'm a dominant woman, and you've always been submissive with me. I thought maybe with enough time I could convince you to be okay with it somehow. At least there was a possibility. I was going to take things slow. Eventually I could explain things and get your consent.

But after what happened, after my moment of weakness when you made me cum in the hallway with that tongue of yours, I was scared. I felt my rune activate when I came on your lips, but I thought maybe it was a small one. Maybe it wasn't enough to catch the attention of the North American overseer; the Arcane are much sparser here compared to Europe, I thought there was a good chance we had gotten away with it. But when I saw the two Enforcers in the street, I knew I had no choice but to mark you and quickly. The Enforcers wouldn't act without investigating. They would have to be reasonably sure that you were the human who activated my rune, but I didn't know how much time we might have. I had to move now.

I locked myself in my room and studied Arcane texts all week. I practiced day and night until I felt sure I could create the mark once I had the right materials."

"Materials?"

"You need the cum of the human you're trying to collar. And it has to be collected while fucking them, while 'submitting to Arcane penetration' the texts say. I wasn't totally sure how the technique would work on a male, so I decided it was safest to collect your cum while taking you anally."

"What do you mean you weren't sure how it would work on a male? How does it usually work?"

Tanya looked embarrassed now. "Well, technically the collaring technique is for human women... you know, the feminist movement is not as far along in Arcania as it is here. Women are seen as the more virtuous, pure sex who don't need collared human sex slaves to sate their appetites. The collaring technique was developed by ancient archmages who were all Arcane men interested in collaring human women... but there's no reason it shouldn't work on a man. I'm pretty sure people must be doing it in secret."

"You're PRETTY SURE?!"

She got defensive at this point. "Hey, they were going to kill you! What was I supposed to do?"

"So I'm craving your toy cock up my ass because you performed some experimental procedure on me against my will?"

Tanya's mouth opened but no words came out while she vacillated on what she wanted to say. Finally, she stuck a finger defensively in my face, "Hey, you came with my finger in your ass the first night we kissed before I ever collared you, so..." She huffed a few more breaths and then kind of slumped in defeat, "... but yeah, it definitely makes you hornier. Collared women have famously high libido, they crave being fucked by their masters, so... yeah it's probably contributing."

My mind was reeling at this point.

"Look Jake, I know you're still weirded out by enjoying having your ass fucked, but that's just a human culture thing. Like I said, most Arcane men take it in the ass from time to time..." I knew she was trying to soften the blow, but I was still staggered by the realization that I might very well be the world's first magically tramp-stamped bitch boy.

"Why is it even called collared anyway?" I grumbled, intentionally avoiding more serious questions, "It should be called tattooed."

"Oh, well that's because in Arcania the collared all wear these soft black leather collars around their necks. I actually have one if you want to-" she started to rise from the bed.

"No!"

She looked at me apologetically, shaking her head at her obviously terrible idea, and laid back down.

I felt sick to my stomach at this point, but I had to power through and get this information. In a weak voice, I asked, "So once these women are collared, they're transformed and no longer human and therefore it's ok for the Arcane men to fuck them because their babies won't 'dilute the bloodline' or whatever?"

Tanya looked away. "No, they're not 'transformed,' they're still genetically human, it's really just in a legal sense that they're not considered human by Arcane law..."

"They can't get pregnant, can they?"

She looked miserable but said nothing. I felt myself getting angrier by the second. "Am I infertile now?"

She forced herself to meet my eyes, tears in hers. She nodded.

I swallowed my saliva and rolled to face away from her.

"I'm so sorry, Jake." She hugged me from behind. I wanted to shrug her off, but I needed a hug.

I had no specific plans to ever have kids, but I knew it might really matter to me at some point. "Can it be reversed?"

"I... I don't know." She kissed my cheek. "I... I did save your cum though. What I didn't use from the condom to mark you. I froze it and had it banked. It's just one sample but-"

"Thanks." A rational part of my brain recognized that she was really trying. She had really done a ton of work trying to make the best of a bad situation. But another maybe slightly more emotional part was fucking pissed. She should never have let me go down on her knowing these repercussions. And she was planning this collaring shit even before that!

"Tanya?"

"Yeah baby?"

"I think it's time to fuck your ass now."

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Maybe taking her anal virginity wouldn't make me feel any better, but at the time it seemed worth a shot.

She sprang into motion to carry out my request for sodomy. We were alike in that way, always preferring action in the physical world over uncomfortable discussion in the emotional world. She seemed glad to have been given a mission she was capable of completing.

With all seriousness, she sucked my cock deep in her mouth, dutifully preparing it for her virgin asshole. God, she was so hot it was hard to think.

She wormed her finger back up my backdoor, and I felt new life surge into my penis. "God, this is weird. How can I be ready to go again so quickly? Is this, is this like magic?"

Tanya pulled my dick from her lips with an audible plop. She grinned up at me while lightly stroking my stiffening shaft, "Well they say the collared are insatiable sluts so..." she bent lower to lick my balls as she slid the butt plug back inside me.

When she bent herself over and handed me the lube, she continued, "But it's not really 'magic,' you know? I mean, is electricity magic? Is magnetism magic? These are-ungh"

She grunted as I pushed a lubed finger into her pucker. "These are *ugh* natural phenomena that are subject to *oooh* the laws of nature like anything else. Humans just seem to have focused more on industry and *ahhhh* warfare, while the Arcane have mostly researched biology and psychology *ooooohh* how many fingers is that?!"

"Just two," I grinned. Payback's a bitch.

"Okay," she said bravely. "Anyway my point is that any new technology seems like magic at first, but there are always practical limits by natural laws."

I positioned the tip of my dick against her soft, wet asshole. "But you can still mind control someone into being your bitch?"

"Ohhhhh!" she wailed as I pushed inside her tight virgin tunnel. Her eyes closed, her mouth opened in a silent scream, and her hands tightened into fists full of bedding. She blew a couple of forced breaths through pursed lips. When she opened her eyes again, she gave me a vulnerable look like she was surprised and barely coping with the sensation of having a dick stuffed up her ass. 'Yeah, not so easy, is it?' I thought silently. Anyone who penetrates should be penetrated once, if only for empathy.

Her breathing calmed, and she gave me a little nod. I leaned my weight forward into my cock.

"It's *mmmm* not mind control, *exhale through pursed lips* not really. Whoa!" I paused my assault on her booty to let her adjust. "Our *whooo* our techniques can make you temporarily obey a command against your will, but they can't make you like it. The collared mark makes you hornier in general, but if you didn't already want me, if you didn't already enjoy submitting to me, the collared technique wouldn't have worked. It's one of reasons the technique requires the subject to orgasm from submissive penetration before you can mark them."

"Bullshit," I said quickly as I pushed deeper into her molten hot butthole. I was never this submissive before. I never dreamed about being ass-fucked. It had to be magic.

"Urhhhhh," she groaned as I sank my dick balls-deep inside her rectum, "It's true, Jake. I can't make you love me with any Arcane technique." She looked over her shoulder, her expression looked uncomfortable, but she managed to twist it into a confident smile, "I'll have to use other techniques for that." And with that, she started to move her hips slowly, gyrating on my shaft, polishing my knob with warm velvet ass.

Her little muscular ring felt exquisite wrapped around my shaft. I'd never experienced such a hot, tight hole. Beyond that, it felt so intimate, stuffed deep in her guts, stirring up her insides. I loved the contrast: the cool softness of her butt cheeks and the steamy tightness of her asshole. I felt like I could drop dead right then without regret, having had more great sex than most people have in a lifetime.

I felt my orgasm rapidly approaching and fought to take control. I put one hand on her shoulder and the other on her hip and fucked her with long, accelerating thrusts. I came inside her, pumping my load inside her bottom. It happened much too soon.

 

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The next day, we both had classes. Although a bit of routine felt good, it felt painful to separate from her for even a few hours. I had it bad for her, even after everything. I loved her. Afterward, we sat at her kitchen table studying.

The sexual tension felt like 10x the Earth's gravity, like I was having to force myself to move through it. I kept sneaking glances at her across the table, then looking away when she noticed. I wanted to fuck, but I really didn't want to be the one to ask for it.

When I couldn't take it anymore, I went to the sink to get a drink of water and clear my head.

I downed a cup and went to refill it when I felt her hands on my hips. I froze. I said nothing as her right hand slipped off my hip and cupped my ass. She squeezed.

"Tanya, I-"

"Shhhhh," she purred as she began kissing my neck. "We'll talk after. No more talking unless you want me to stop."

Her hands felt amazing as she pressed her body against mine from behind. I gasped when I felt stiffness against my butt. She must have been already wearing her lingam under her clothes. And she was hard.

She snaked a hand around my waist and gently palmed my own hardness. For a moment, I wondered if she was going to fuck me right there over the sink.

Wordlessly, she led me to her bedroom. She kissed me, hungry but in control. She stripped off my clothes and then her own. The sight of her rock-hard prong sticking straight out demandingly made my hole clench.

She turned me around and moved me onto my hands and knees. It felt so right. As she spread the oil over my butt, I really felt like I had a cunt back there. My rim briefly protested before swelling to swallow her. I whined as her lubed cock entered me.

She turned my head and kissed me with an aggressive amount of tongue. I sucked on it submissively. Her skin on my back, her hips clapping and compressing my buttocks, her hair tickling my shoulders. I felt her cock sliding in and out of my stretched, surrendered asshole, and I moaned, luxuriating in the soft afternoon butt fuck.

The room was silent and still except for the sounds of our rutting.

*********************

Despite all my churning emotions and new questions about the nature of reality, life managed to return to some semblance of normalcy. We went to class, we studied together, and we fucked everyday, sometimes more than once a day.

I didn't ask too many questions about Arcania and all that. I think subconsciously I thought that if we just didn't discuss it, then I could pretend it didn't exist and defer questioning whether Tanya was confused or insane. She also seemed reticent to discuss her homeland. So we tiptoed around the topic.

But I slowly gathered bits and pieces. Tanya had always felt like an outsider among the Arcane. She was fascinated with humans and technology from a young age. She had always been curious what it would be like to date a human but knew it was forbidden.

"Did you come to America to collar someone, someone like me?" I asked one night.

"No. No Jake, I told you. Collaring you was a plan I improvised out of necessity. I just came here to learn."

"But you'd thought about it?"

"Just fantasies..." she said sheepishly. "My mother will probably disown me for this," she added with a smile before looking away awkwardly. We left it there.

Another night I asked, "Where is Arcania?"

She looked at me skeptically like she was trying to figure out what my angle was. "It's hidden deep in the forests of the Carpathian mountains." She stroked my hair, studying my expression.

"Maybe we should go there sometime. Get some expert advice on whether this mark can be reversed," she looked wounded when I said this, so I added quickly, "Not that I don't want to be yours, I do, I just... the fertility thing, you know? Maybe we would want to have a kid some day?"

She looked pained. "I don't think that would be a good idea, Jake. The collared don't have many rights in Arcania. And a child?" she shook her head, "They sent people to arrest us over an orgasm. Even if there was a way to reverse it, the Order would never let us be together without you marked."

I nodded along, hoping for alternative solutions to present themselves. "Well maybe politics there will change. Like they have here."

"Maybe." She didn't sound hopeful.

So we mostly pretended Arcania didn't exist. At this point, I gave it about 70% probability that she was raised in some kind of cult and there were reasonable explanations for everything I'd seen so far. Accepting her entire story at face value just seemed inconceivable. So instead we focused on school and on sex, which was plenty to keep us occupied.

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Our relationship was deepening rapidly, bringing us closer than ever. I'd never felt about anyone the way I felt about her. She was my soulmate; it seemed painfully obvious. It wasn't just the time we spent together, our conversations, our effortless connection, but the intimacy in bed. Being penetrated seemed to open a channel directly to my emotions, making me more vulnerable, unable to hide my feelings, making me love her without reservation.

I wish I could say that I seamlessly transitioned into the submissive sexual role and we lived happily ever after. But I struggled to reconcile my view of masculine sexuality with submitting to being fucked. My view of my ideal self was hazy now.

What did the ideal collared man look like? How could I be strong for her while taking it up the ass every night? While needing her inside me? When I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror after a particularly thorough ass-fucking that had produced simultaneous explosive climaxes in both of us, when I saw in my reflection the flushed cheeks of a freshly-fucked whore and the hairless body of a submissive, I didn't feel pride. I felt the opposite.

A few nights later, she held my wrists down hard to the mattress above my head as she sucked my neck, warming me up for our nightly coupling.

"You know I'm stronger than you, right?" It was stupid, but I felt like I had to let her know that I wasn't some weak sissy that she could hold down and have her way with.

She stopped her necking and looked up at me. "There are many forms of strength," she said with a smile. Not exactly what I wanted to hear.

With a burst of strength, I roared up, flipping her beneath me and pinning her wrists now. I gave her a challenging smirk.

"Oh, you meant physically stronger!" she smiled, but I detected a bit of anger behind her grin. "Sure, I acknowledge that. I love that. It gets me off to watch your bigger, more muscular body submit to me."

I frowned. She seemed almost as dominant pinned beneath me as she had on top. She started to mock me in a baby voice, "Oh my big strong man, the way you squealed on my girly cock last night was dreamy!"

"Alright, alright," I let her go, feeling sheepish.

As soon as I released her wrists, her hands slid down and cupped my ass. Her finger pressed between my cheeks, teasing the top of my cleft. I felt her lingam throb against my crotch. "Oh, my hunky slut's butthole is horny, isn't it?"

"Ok you've made your point," I tried.

She spanked me hard. "Hush slut. No more talking for you tonight. You fucked that up. Now get on your hands and knees. You need a nice hard fucking." I reluctantly got into position at the edge of the bed, deeply regretting initiating this line of thinking.

She pulled my underwear down and squeezed and kneaded my butt. "Look at those big muscular buttocks, so desperate to be parted." She spanked me again. "Shake that ass, sweet cheeks!"

It was like I had unleashed this new side of her, the arrogant badass who cussed like a sailor. Part of me wanted to tell her to fuck off, but the rest of me was loving it. My penis hardened between my thighs.

While she stood behind me, I moved my hips back and forth, certain I was crossing into a new level of bitchhood. I blushed and moaned like slut as she pushed into me from behind.

"Fuck yes! Look at that wrinkled little hole taking me. Don't you see, baby? This is how you were made to be fucked. Stretch for me, baby. Let me invade you. Surrender to me."

I whimpered in humiliated lust and hung my head even as I arched my lower back to take her deeper. She giggled happily, clutching my hips tightly and lifting one foot up onto the mattress to get better leverage for thrusting.

Before I came, she pulled out and told me to stand up. "Carry me to the living room, my big strong man!" She put her arms around my neck and jumped into my arms. I carried her like a princess, feeling ridiculous with my erection bobbing between my legs and her erection staring up at me in my arms. She smiled from ear-to-ear as I followed her orders.

In the living room, she had me get back on my hands and knees on the couch. It was disturbing how easily she pushed herself all the way back inside me. After a few thrusts, she paused, "Whoo! I'm getting tired. You should do the work. Fuck yourself on my cock, boy!"

My arousal and my humiliation rose as one. For a moment, I really did consider refusing. I could just stop and walk away. Or bend HER over the couch and fuck HER brains out. But as my hips slowly started to move, and then really started to impale myself on her rod, sliding my slippery hole up and down her shaft, I felt a deep sexual satisfaction. This just felt right. My own cock was like diamond between my legs.

She kept her hands lightly on my hips, just her thumb and finger pads, enough to guide me to the rhythm she wanted, to let me know that she hadn't ceded any control. She spanked my left cheek and then my right. I whimpered as I humped back on her faster.

Tanya moaned behind me. "God, it will be hot when you break completely, but until then I just love how conflicted you are. You love this just as much as I do. You just can't help yourself..."

She thrust deeper, and I moaned like a whore. I felt like a whore. Could that be enough for me, to be HER whore? I didn't know.

*************

The next morning I found her standing in front of the mirror, flexing her bicep with a frown on her face. "Hey babe, what are you doing?" I asked.

"Oh nothing," she put her arm down, "just thinking about what you said last night. That I'm not as strong as you."

"Hey, I didn't mean it like that. I was just whining. I'm still adjusting to all this." I put my arms around her waist and hugged her from behind. She turned her head and kissed me.

"I just wish someday I could be strong enough to hold you up and fuck you against the wall. But I don't think that's physically possible," she said with a playful pout.

"Maybe with a harness and some rope..." I suggested, trying to solve her problem and at once unsure whether I should be encouraging this fantasy of hers.

Her eyes glinted. "Great idea, Jake! You're so smart. Come here!" she grinned before crushing me in a kiss.

But the idea of getting stronger seemed to be stuck in her mind. A few days later, she informed me that we were going to start going to the gym together. I balked.

"C'mon, the gym? You have literally the perfect body. Why do we have to go to the gym?"

"I want to get stronger, and you need more strength in your legs and lower back or you're not going to have the stamina to ride me or fuck back on me during the marathon sessions I have planned for our future. And I want you more flexible. I think it'd be so hot to be able to fold you in half with your ankles literally next to your head when I fuck you on your back."

We were certainly a long way from THAT. Her enthusiasm was infectious, and I loved basking in the knowledge that she was obsessed with fucking me in every possible way. So I didn't argue.

When we got to the gym, she handed me a workout routine she had designed for me, focusing largely on my legs and core, both strength and flexibility. As I went though the exercises, I spied her on the other side of the room doing mostly arm work.

Towards the end of the workout, I noticed her watching me as she sat at one of the exercise machines. Her eyes were glued to my rear. She was openly lusting for my butt. It sent a shiver up my spine.

I couldn't resist dropping my hips even lower with each rep. It felt delightfully naughty putting her through the same torture that I'd experienced watching women exercise in the gym. She watched me doing the squats for a while before she moved.

"See something you like? What-" My teasing tone changed to surprise as she grabbed me by the hand without saying anything and dragged me to the women's toilet.

I looked around nervously to see if we were being noticed, but Tanya didn't seem to care as she shoved me through the door.

She locked the door behind us and then spun me around, pushed me up against the wall, and started dry-humping my ass. She beat her clothed mound against my buttocks until, grunting with frustration, she pushed me to my knees and shoved my face into her crotch.

I tugged her leggings down and breathed in her musk. She hooked the hem of her panties with her thumb, dragging them down and pulling my nose into her sweaty cunt. My tongue savored her flavor, tasting the salt of her sweat change to the tang of her arousal as her lips fluttered open for me. I licked her sopping quim until she came.

She helped me up to my feet and gave me a smile and a kiss as thanks. I smiled as I realized we hadn't spoken a word since entering the gym. It seemed more intimate than anything we could have said.

As she shuffled us out the door with me trying to lean forward to make my erection less noticeable in my shorts and her with her hand lightly palming my ass, I worried I was becoming some kind of sex addict. It wasn't just the anal penetration I craved, it really was her dominance. I loved it when she pushed me to my knees or sat on my face or had me lick her pussy clean after she removed her lingam. It worried me how much I loved it.

*****************

We both knew that the sex was better when she was in charge. It wasn't subtle. But more and more I had this feeling like I needed to top her in order to preserve my masculinity. That if I didn't penetrate her periodically, then she would eventually lose respect for me and I would become her lapdog or she would discard me entirely. She spread her legs for me whenever I requested it, but the more she learned how to dominate me and the better I got at submitting and taking her lingam up my ass, the more traditional sex seemed like a poor substitute for a good strap-on butt fucking.

Today, I felt a strong need to reassert myself after an especially intense session last night. I had ridden her for the first time. I had thought being on top might make me feel less submissive, but bouncing my butt in her lap, chasing my orgasm while she stared up at me as I debased myself was humiliating as hell. To make matters worse, I hadn't even been able to cum that way. We ended up finishing with her fucking me in missionary, pounding my ass with a vibrator on my cock. It had felt amazing, having my legs pushed back and spread like that. My body knew just what to do, lifting my pelvis to take her deeper, like some alternative circuitry hard-wired in my brain had activated. I came all over my stomach. When she fed it to me afterwards, I swallowed it all without protest. After the euphoria of orgasm cleared, I had a sinking worry that I'd behaved like a wimp. More than the usual amount, I mean.

So today when she came up behind me and started to feel me up, I protested. "I want to fuck you today," I said a little too desperately.

She looked surprised. "Are you sure that's what you want?"

"Yeah I'm a little sore back there today, and we should do it properly every so often"

I could see her bristle at the word 'properly,' but she just nodded and said "fine."

I got between her legs and started humping away, but the sex was clearly below our recent standards. Eventually, I started to wonder whether I would even be able to cum or have to give up. Trying to fake an orgasm to save face crossed my mind. But she would probably notice the lack of semen dripping out of her afterwards, right?

Finally, she took pity on me and started talking dirty to me to help me cross the finish line. "Fuck me, bitch! Fuck your mistress with that cock! Faster!" I glared at her but couldn't deny her words moved me towards orgasm. Her heels found my buttocks, and she started to kick me with the back of her heels like she was riding a horse. "C'mere, take my nipple in your mouth, don't stop humping, good boy!" She pulled my head to her breast by my hair and fed me her tit. Her heels kept bouncing on my cheeks as I humped her until one slipped between and landed right on my plug. My orgasm took me by surprise, and I lost my cum inside her.

I felt cheated as I rolled off of her. My attempt to reassert myself had been a total failure. Seconds later she moved up to straddle my head. "Hey what-" I protested as her creamy cunt covered my mouth. "I haven't cum yet," was all the explanation I got, "Eat me!"

*****************

The next day as I was walking home, well walking to her apartment where I was basically living full time at this point. I was still feeling resentful about our most recent sexual encounter. Resenting her for knowing exactly how to make me cum, resenting myself for being a pervert who got off on submission, then pushing the resentment back to her as I consoled myself that it must just be her black magic making me this way.

I picked up a package that the mailman had left outside the door. It was addressed to Tanya.

"Tanya!" I called as I opened the door with the key she'd given me. "You got a package!"

She bounded down out of her room, and like virtually every time I saw her, I was struck by her remarkable beauty. Her cheeks were a little flushed today, the pinkish glow standing out against her pale skin.

"What were you doing in there?" I asked playfully, concocting delectable masturbatory fantasies in my head.

"If you must know, I was thinking about you. About yesterday. God, that was so hot!" She beamed as she threw her arms around me and kissed my lips.

'What is wrong with me? She's gorgeous, and she thinks sex with me is so hot that she masturbates thinking about it the next day. I should have my head examined for being ungrateful at the lottery I've won,' I thought to myself.

When she pulled her tongue out of my mouth, I held up the package in my hand. "Here's what came for you."

She took it and hurriedly opened the package and peaked inside. "Oh! It came! I got you a gift, Jake!"

"A gift?" I asked curiously as she slid the plastic bag inside the envelope into my hands.

Oh Jesus. It was underwear. She got me a pack of three pairs of thong underwear. They were in masculine colors at least: black, blue, and gray. They were clearly designed for gay men with a large pouch at the front to keep everything from falling out and the words "Deep Love" printed along the waist band.

Predictably, I would have thought, I got upset.

"God damn it, Tanya. These are for gay men!"

She looked confused. "Huh? How can you tell? I think you're gonna look so hot in them."

I blew out a frustrated exhale. "I'm never wearing these."

She looked hurt. She took a couple of breaths, and I watched the hurt change to anger. I could tell she wanted to argue with me but thought better of it. I felt the same way.

We didn't talk about it again.

********************

It was in the midst of this little fight we were having, struggling to work out our roles in the relationship, that my parents and younger brother came for a planned visit as part of them taking him to look at colleges to apply to next year.

When I introduced Tanya to them, my little brother's jaw literally dropped. "You're Jake's girlfriend?! Really?!"

 

I slugged him on the arm, and Tanya laughed it off. My parents concealed their reactions better, as adults learn to do, but I knew them both well enough to see right through them. My mom was instantly suspicious, like there must be some sinister motive for a girl this out of my league to be going after me. My father gave me a look and a nod that said 'well done.' I couldn't remember a time when he'd looked at me with this much respect. I wondered what he would think if he knew I was taking it in the ass from her almost every night.

Tanya charmed the pants off of them. She was eloquent and warm and accommodating. And she made it overwhelmingly obvious that we were in love and that she cared deeply for me. Like when my dad nagged me for the millionth time about my less-marketable English major, "Computer science! Now that sounds like a major that leads to high-paying jobs. Why don't you major in something sensible like your girlfriend?"

Tanya came to my defense before I had a chance to respond, "Jake has a real gift as a writer. He's passionate, and I know he'll succeed. And if that takes a little time, I wouldn't mind supporting us both financially while his career is getting off the ground."

I felt both supported and emasculated by the comment, the conflicting feeling that had become the hallmark of our relationship.

As usual, Tanya took every opportunity to show her affection. When she innocently threw her arms around me, hugging me from behind, I freaked out, quickly and forcefully bringing her in front of me so it was my arms around her. Did normal girlfriends hug their boyfriends that way? Could they tell I was a pervert? She never once grabbed my ass or anything to hint at the true nature of our relationship, but I remained paranoid that they could see she was the dominant.

When it finally came time for my family to leave, she hugged each of them goodbye, and they all looked delighted with her. When I hugged them goodbye, I got a mixture of new respect from them like I must be more special than they had realized and looks of stern warning not to screw up my good fortune. Only my tactless younger brother actually vocalized his thoughts. "Don't fuck up, bro. Don't know how you tricked a girl like that into dating you, but don't take it for granted. Man, maybe I should look at colleges in Romania..."

I tried to tell myself that they didn't understand, that they were just swayed by her good looks, that from the inside our relationship was one of equals and I fully deserved her. But they were right. She was out of my league.

After they left, I went straight to the bedroom and changed into the black thong. I wanted to say thank you, to say sorry for rejecting her gift, to let her know how much I appreciated her. Looking at myself in the mirror, I decided to pre-lube and stretch my hole a bit with my finger.

I found her reading on the couch. After a minute, she looked up. "What's up, baby?"

I swallowed and turned away from her. And then I lowered my pants.

I expected her to say something. After a few moments of silence, I looked back at her over my shoulder. Her eyes were locked on my thong-clad rear. It made me smile.

"You're beautiful," she said at last. No one had ever called me beautiful. It was the wrong word for a boy. Surely she must know that.

I expected her to come take me, but instead she commanded, "Take your pants off and come over here." I stepped between her legs in my t-shirt and new underwear, and she spun me around by my hips.

She squeezed by cheek and slapped it slightly. "What changed your mind about wearing panties for me?" she asked while continuing to play with my buttocks. The word 'panties' grated against my ears. Did she have to call them that? They were men's thongs, okay?!

"I just wanted to say thank you. You were so great with my family. And I know I didn't respond the right way when you got these for me."

I looked over my shoulder at her, but she gave her eye contact to my rear. "You don't have to wear them if you don't want to, Jake... but you do look... alluring in them," she gave me another light spank. "Give me a lap dance."

I swayed my hips back and forth a bit, feeling ridiculous. "I... I don't know what I'm doing."

"You're doing great, Jake. Try putting your hands in your hair."

Lifting my arms to comply made my back naturally arch, thrusting my booty further behind me.

"Yeah, sexy butt," she punctuated her praise with a little spank, "now put your hands on your knees and throw your hips back."

The embarrassing position made me blush. My dick started trying to poke a hole in the front panel of my thong. Her hands felt great, groping my cheeks, guiding my hips to wobble.

And then without warning, my thong was plucked aside and her finger pushed into my pre-lubed hole.

"Ohhhh!" I moaned in obvious arousal.

"Naughty boy," she scolded as she kissed my buttocks, moving slowly towards my taint. Her other hand that wasn't currently inside me grabbed my cock and balls and pulled them back to her between my legs.

As I felt her tongue slip and slide over my smooth ball sack, I reminded myself again that I was getting to experience things reserved for only the luckiest of people. Only kings were treated this way. I was sexual royalty.

"Let's move this to the bedroom," she ordered.

She made me lay on her bed naked on my back like a virgin bride, while she strapped on her lingam. It made my vision blur with arousal when she asked me to spread my legs and raise my knees.

"You look so hot like this, Jake. My submissive, sexy man. I want to fuck you so bad right now, but I'm not going to until you beg me for it."

I had never begged for sex before. "Tanya..." She teased me, goosing my hole with her cock, lightly running her fingers over my balls and my dick and my sides and my nipples. I couldn't take it anymore. "Please fuck me, Tanya! Please put it in my ass!"

But when she finally did push in my asshole squeezed down for some reason, making me jerk in pain. "Wait! Slow down! Stop! I'm too tight!" Tanya halted her entrance but didn't pull back. She sighed in frustration.

"This is what I'm talking about Jake, you need to wear the training plug." She had been trying to get me to wear a soft, squishy plug in my ass in the afternoons to stretch me and train me for our usual nighttime sessions. I had refused on principal. Wearing a butt plug during the day made me feel like too much of a freak.

"Hey! Don't put this on me! You need to slow down and give me more prep!"

She glared at me and for a second I felt scared that she was about to power-fuck me, but to her credit, she pulled out, added more lube, and re-entered me slowly. "Squeeze and release your hole a few times, take some deep breaths, move your hips around to find the best angle." I did as she said, and my hole slid open for her. Pleasure bloomed from my rear passage.

I felt like I had scored a victory, speaking up in bed instead of submitting to everything she did. I smiled up at her, but she seemed to take it as a taunt. "Open your mouth!" she commanded. I tentatively opened my jaw and watched in disbelief as she hawked up a loogie and spit in my mouth. "Swallow it." I swallowed and was rewarded with more of her cock filling my ass. It felt great, but I felt like the point I'd scored had just been wiped off the scoreboard.

Her hand came up and lovingly caressed my cheek, running her thumb over my bottom lip. "Fuck you, Tanya!" I moaned, glaring at her as she started fucking me faster. She smirked and fed me a soft milky tit, filling me from both ends with breast in my mouth and her jet black cock in my bottom. She pulled her nipple from my lips and kissed me hard, thrusting her tongue into my mouth. I sucked on her tongue like a baby bird. She dominated both of my orifices until I surrendered completely and went limp in her arms.

Tanya came before me for the first time. Her cock began to soften in my ass, and she pulled out. If I'd had any fight left in me at this point, I might have counted her cumming first as a win. But I was already beaten and just wanted to cum.

I thought maybe she'd give me a little blow job to push me over the edge. But instead she stuck two fingers up my ass-pussy. Her other hand gently held my cock with her thumb rubbing lightly back and forth over my frenulum, just enough to keep me on a simmer, while the real force bringing me to orgasm came from her fingers thrusting inside me against my prostate. My cum spilled out onto my belly mirroring the shameful pleasure of my most submissive orgasm yet that poured across my body outside of my control. She didn't even offer me any of my cum, licking it all up herself.

We lay together in bed afterwards. She seemed perfectly at peace, but I was sulking.

"Hey what's that look?"

I knew exactly what she was talking about, but still I muttered, "What look?"

"Like you're disgusted with me or something. Like I didn't just rock your world. It's enough to make a woman feel unloved. If I hadn't seen you shoot that massive load, I might think you didn't enjoy that."

I tried to think of what to say, but my thoughts were a mess. "Did you have to make me beg?" I whined, knowing that wasn't exactly the crux of the problem.

"Hey. Look at me." I turned to meet her eyes. "You're the most important thing in the world to me. If you don't like how I act in bed, then we can talk about it." My eyes watered. I said nothing and looked away. "But I think you do like it. I think you love it. I think you're all fucked up because you're bringing other people's views into this. What you think sex should look like according to movies, or according to your friends, or your parents, or just society in general. I don't want any of those people in bed with us. The only views that matter in our bed are yours and mine."

I took a deep breath. "You're right. I'm sorry. I do like it. I think you're a goddess in bed. It's just that sometimes I feel like I'm losing myself. Like I'm losing my manhood."

"This is who you are, Jake. I take your happiness very seriously as your dominant. I know you like this, baby. I just licked a massive amount of your happiness off your stomach. Stop questioning everything. Find your manhood in serving me, in being my collared. You should be happy about that."

"I know. I am. I just... need more time... to adjust."

*********************

But eventually things came to a head.

As final exams approached, I was not adjusting. I was neglecting my school work because I was thinking about sex all the time, both masturbatory fantasies and abstract philosophical musings on the implications of sexual roles in a relationship. Tanya noticed and moved to... correct my deficiencies. Telling me I needed to study more, reviewing my grades with me, discussing my longterm goals, pushing me to accompany her to the gym even when I felt lazy. She was starting to feel like my boss.

Objectively, one could say it was good for me. I didn't disagree with anything she was pushing me to do. She was just more disciplined than I was, and it didn't seem like she was struggling at all with how our sex life was going, which I guess made sense since she had planned for things to go this way all along. But her superior discipline and bossiness made me feel like even more pathetic than I already felt like from our bedroom activities.

Then she denied me an orgasm once because she said I was neglecting my work, which was true but still really pissed me off. She had never denied me before. Whenever I got a pang of horniness as I frequently did these days, I simply bent over whatever surface was in front of Tanya, swayed my hips, or rubbed my butt back against her hip. It wasn't hard to seduce her into fucking me, but it still made me feel dependent on her.

But this time when I grinded back against her, she dismissed me with a smile and a little slap on the ass, "Tomorrow, horn dog. Finish your essay tonight. You don't need to cum every single night." Why the fuck does she get to decide that?! I felt powerless. I just never realized how important the ability to masturbate myself to orgasm was to my sense of independence. I considered buying a dildo, again, but I wasn't even sure I could bring myself to orgasm with a dildo and even if I did, it was hard to imagine that making me feel less pathetic.

But the final straw came from the gym. Thanks to Tanya's slave-driver grueling gym routine, she was getting toned. We both were. When I licked my way down from her tits to her pussy, my tongue could feel her abs beneath an ever thinner layer of fat. It was hot. And on some level, it made me feel less pathetic to submit to her in bed.

But one day when we arrived at the gym, she announced, "Today, we're going to focus on you. I'll be your personal trainer today." I thought it was odd, but I didn't realize the danger her words portended.

She pushed me hard in my leg workout. "C'mon one more rep! Now one more! C'mon one more!" she coached.

"I can't," I panted.

"Sure you can, tough guy. Show me how strong you can be." She pushed me to the point of failure while spotting me, making me rely on her to avoid being crushed under the weights.

"Oh man," I complained while catching my breath, "my muscles feel like jello. I think I'm done for today."

"Nonsense. You've got me here to spot you. Grab some water and then we'll get another set in!" She handed me the water bottle like a challenge.

When we finally left the gym, my legs were shaking. She put my arm over her shoulder, and I leaned my weight into her just to walk out of the building. "Good job, baby. You impressed me today," she praised, giving my ass a loving squeeze in full view of the other people entering the gym. Normally, I would have protested, but I was so exhausted and weak that I didn't care.

When we got home, she helped me collapse on the couch. "I'll be right back to take care of you, baby," she cooed sweetly before padding off to the bedroom. Getting taken care of sounded nice. My muscles were completely dead. A nice rubdown sounded like just what I needed right then.

But when I looked up again, she was standing there, buck naked apart from her throbbing lingam.

"Oh honey, I'm too tired right now," I protested weakly as she approached. She just smiled understandingly, "Don't worry, sweetie, I'll do all the work. Let's get you to the bedroom."

She grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet with impressive strength. She started tugging me towards the bedroom, but I halted in my tracks. "Tanya, I'm serious, I'm not up for this right now."

"Oh hush. You'll be fine," she said dismissively, but she stopped trying to drag me to the bedroom. Instead she shifted her hands, reaching one up into my hair and pushed me over the end of the sofa, bending me over the side with my face pressed into the seat I had just been occupying.

I groaned from the new stretches and strains of the new position on my muscles. She leaned over me and started kissing my neck and dry humping my upturned butt. The muscles in my lower back were so dead that I don't think I would have been able to stand back up even if she hadn't been holding me down.

Then her hand grabbed the back of my shorts and underwear and tugged them both down roughly. I felt her lingam poke my bare, sweaty ass.

"Don't! I'm dirty. I need a shower!" I protested.

Tanya just nibbled my ear and moaned, "Mmmm, maybe I like you dirty. We've had entirely too little dirty sex." Her hand snaked down and started palming and squeezing my cheeks. When her finger slid into my cleft to press against my elastic entrance, I found my voice again.

"Tanya no!" I tried to push my palms into the sofa to push myself up but she shoved me back down with a fist in my hair and an elbow between my shoulder blades. *Crack!* She slapped my ass hard.

"Didn't we talk about this, Jake?!" *Spank!* "Weren't you going to stop questioning everything and submit?!" *Spank!* "So shut the fuck up!" *Spank, spank, spank!*

After a dozen spanks, she finally stopped. My buttocks stung. They felt hot like they were emanating heat. She reached a hand between my legs and squeezed my erection. "See! At least this part of you is honest." I wanted to retort, but I couldn't deny I was turned on.

She tugged my workout shorts and underwear all the way down my legs and worked them off over my tennis shoes. She kicked my legs apart and then grabbed my butt cheeks with both hands.

"Mmmmh, look at this ass! This big, pretty ass!" She pulled my cheeks apart and spit directly on my asshole.

"I'm going to enjoy this," she said as her thumb smeared her saliva over my clutching rim, "I won't make you beg again. I know exactly what a slut like you needs."

I said nothing. Just closed my eyes and let it happen. I heard a lube bottle pop open and then felt the cold oil on my ass. She poured an amount that said this was not going to be any gentle quickie. A copious amount of lubricant wetted my cheeks, slid down my crack, and dripped off my balls. She spread it with a messy palm. My cheeks must have been positively shining.

When I felt her rock-hard tip on my anus, I tried to relax and submit. My internal monologue tried to help by calling me names: You're a whore. You're her bitch. She manhandled you over the couch and you're literally too weak to resist her. Take it up your ass like a good little faggot!

"Ohhhhh!" We groaned in unison as she slid inside me. She didn't stop. Just slipped deeper and deeper, inexorably forward, until her pubic hair pushed into my soft hairless cheeks.

"Good boy, Jake," she whispered in my ear before lightly biting my shoulder as she started to move. Her tits felt erect on my back.

Tanya sucked on my neck as she humped me, driving her throbbing dick in and out of my rectum. I felt my own hard cock straining against the side of the couch that kept it pushed back between my legs.

She straightened up and started fucking me harder with her hands on my hips. Long, powerful strokes that slapped my ass and made my hole clench.

"Wait," I managed in a weak, tired voice that was partially muffled by the seat cushion my face rested on, "Slow down!" I tried to reach a hand back to push against her pelvis and slow her onslaught. But her thrusts continued unimpeded, simply pushing my hand back and forth on her hip. She grabbed me by both wrists, pulling my arms behind me like a pair of reins as she rode me like a filly.

I gave up on resisting. I let every muscle relax and just passively took what she gave me. She noticed.

"Mmmm, good boy. You like feeling your pussy stretch? You like feeling me use it? Take your Mistress's cock in your ass like a good collared slut! It's my ass now." She fucked me so hard that even through the sexual haze I was amazed at her stamina. I had never fucked a girl the way she was fucking me. I felt her inside me, filling me, consuming me, using me as a fuck hole. And through it all, I felt my orgasm growing. Oh no, I was going to cum from this.

Suddenly, she leaned back over me and snaked her arm around my neck, putting me in a headlock with her elbow around my throat. She pulled back hard, lifting my head and upper chest off the cushion, forcing my back into the deepest arch possible. My hands instinctively came up and grabbed the arm that threatened to choke me.

"Tanya... Tanya," I gasped and panted.

"Cum for me, Jake! Cum right fucking now!"

My orgasm was right there. Her cock slid in and out of my ruined anus, faster and faster, pushing on my swollen prostate, reaming my asshole. I hesitated for one last second before I gave in and chased that orgasm. I clenched my hole as tight as I could. I felt my rim cling to her cock and get dragged back and forth. The spike in sensation was enough to trigger my climax.

 

"Ooooohhhhhhhhhh!" I squealed with my eyes rolled back in my skull as hot jizz poured out of my dick onto the floor behind us.

"Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Of fuuucckckk yeessssss!" Tanya screamed as she came too.

She went still behind me and rested all her weight on me. My lower back felt stiff, my inner right thigh was wet and dripping with some of my cum, my asshole ached. I felt dirty. I felt royally fucked.

She pushed off my back to stand again and spread my cheeks with both hands as she pulled out. When her cock slipped free, she kept my cheeks spread, looking at my gape. She hawked a loogie and spit into my open hole, as if her territory needed further marking.

Then she walked around and got on her hands and needs on the couch in front me. A hand tightened in my hair and the she yanked my head up. I saw where the lingam entered her vagina, and her pale white cheeks, and her light brown tight little asshole. Her strong grip pulled my face between her toned buttocks.

"Lick my ass, bitch."

I closed my eyes and tentatively stuck out my tongue. I licked her most private place. She had licked my hole before. I realized that whether I was licking her ass or she was licking mine, both made me feel like a bitch. I started lapping at her like a dog.

"Mmm good boy, move that sweet little tongue, mmmm just like that."

I tested her, stiffening my tongue and pushing against her very center. Her pucker was impenetrable. So different than mine.

After several minutes, she was satisfied. She rolled over onto her back on the sofa. Her lingam, now mostly limp, fell back on her belly. She looked down her body at me between her legs.

"That was fucked up, Tanya."

She grinned and laughed. "Heh, yeah it was! That was the hottest fucking experience of my life!"

"No, no I mean it was really fucked up."

She rolled her eyes. "C'mon, we need showers. I'll help you."

I let her put her shoulder under my arm and support me to the shower. She had me lean against the wall but even that felt too tiring, so I slid down to sit on the floor of the shower and rested my head against the tile wall. Tanya adjusted the head so it wasn't pelting my face and quickly washed herself. Then, she squatted down with a loofah to clean me.

She gently lifted my arm, scrubbing a soapy lather down my limb to cleanse my armpit. 'Now you're gentle,' I thought bitterly. Once my torso was clean, she slid behind me and sat on the floor. I felt her pussy on my back as she settled me between her legs, cradling my head between her pillowy breasts to wash my hair. Her fingers felt like magic on my scalp. I sat there enjoying it sulkily, forever conflicted.

Once my head had been cleansed to her satisfaction, she sent her hands down my front to gently wash my penis and fondle my testicles. "Turn over," she whispered gently into my ear. She helped me roll onto my hands and spread knees so that my head was in the water stream to wash the suds from my hair while she cleaned my bottom half with the loofah. I saw myself from the outside, on all fours on the floor of her shower, water dripping down my nose with her pink loofah gently laving my butt - it felt like an apt image to summarize my emotional state.

Outside the shower, she had me lean against the wall while she dried me with a towel. I glanced over my shoulder at our reflection in the mirror. Our smooth, pale bodies seemed to have a similar mixture of muscle and softness. We both had blue tattoos, her little one above her mons, my larger one above my ass. In contrast to me, she still had pubic hair. And there was one other big difference: my butt was still a blotchy pink color from the spanking she'd given me.

Her bed felt impossibly soft. When she crawled in next to me, I turned on my side, facing away so I wouldn't have to look at her.

Her voice came low and firm.

"I know you think I'm too hard on you. I know you've never experimented with dominance and submission before, and it's a learning process. But I want you to know that I'm doing what I think is best for you, for us. I have a responsibility to meet your needs since I collared you. You have needs as a collared that you don't fully understand, and this afternoon I wanted to push you. I hope it was freeing to submit completely. Learning to submit to your Mistress's authority is important for your longterm happiness."

She paused to gauge my reaction. I tensed my muscles, bending deeper into the fetal position, instinctively rejecting my 'need to submit.' She softened and took a more intimate tone, "Actually, the fact that I hadn't been able to make you cum without touching your penis had been worrying me. That maybe I've been too soft on you, not giving you the domination you crave. I mean, I've made guys cum from anal-only who weren't half as submissive as you..." She paused, seemingly realizing I could feel hurt by her words, so she rushed to say, "And I LOVE how submissive you are, darling. You like the same kinky, rough sex that I love. You loved what I did to you today. The huge puddle you spilt on the floor doesn't lie."

I rolled back over to face her. "You raped me."

"Whoa!" she looked at me like I was defending herself from a crazy person, "You loved it. I don't remember you begging me to stop. More like a lot of slutty moaning before your orgasm."

"We need a safe word."

"A safe word?! How about 'No, I want you to stop, stop right now'? That would've worked."

"I did say no," I offered weakly.

She looked at me skeptically. "If you had a safe word, would you have used it today?" I didn't answer immediately. I couldn't meet her eyes. "I dunno, but we still need one."

She said nothing, but she was the opposite of calm. She was practically vibrating, with what I'm not sure. Irritation? Internal conflict? At last she spoke in a restrained voice, "Fine, we'll have a safe word. Anything else?"

"You need to respect me."

Her head turned to me sharply like a raptor spotting prey. "Maybe you need to respect me! Maybe show some gratitude for everything I'm doing for you! For us!"

I was on a roll. I felt like being a little bit selfish, a little bit of a brat. Seeing her experience a taste of the emotional turmoil for once, and I couldn't resist pushing a little further more.

"And I'm going to buy a dildo. I don't want to be reliant on you for my orgasms."

She looked hurt and pissed, couldn't say which emotion was dominant. It's not like I wasn't getting enough sex. Maybe if I could get there myself with a dildo sometimes, I could retrieve some of my agency?

When she spoke again it was in a frighteningly soft, low tone. "Then maybe you should go back to your place. Think about what you want. I love you, Jake, but no one is forcing you to be here. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want me. Maybe you should go and not come back until you want to submit."

The prospect of walking home in my current state seemed impossible. And the bed was so soft.

"I'm so tired right now...."

It was an immature, bratty response. More irritating to her than the 'No, I love you too,' she was probably expecting or the 'Fine, I'll leave' option she had offered.

Her eyes glinted with rage. "Fine! Fine!" she spat. She sprang out of bed. The energy with which she dressed made it obvious she was fucking pissed. She stormed out, and I heard the door slam behind her.

I laid in her bed wondering who was more in the wrong until sleep took me.

I woke up later to find her asleep beside me. I got up, quietly dressed, and went back to my lonely apartment.

******************

"Hey man, are you even listening?" my best friend Tom asked before taking another glug of his beer.

I hadn't been listening. I had a lot on my mind. Tanya and I hadn't spoken in six days, which was an eternity for us.

I had followed through on my threat to buy a dildo. And it had worked. I managed to bring myself to an orgasm that only made me feel shittier.

I thought back to two weeks ago when, as what seemed to be Tanya trying to meet me in the middle with my sexual hangups, we had penis-in-vagina sex. But she had led. Well, I mean she dominated. I was tied spread eagle to the four corners of the bed with a massive plug up my ass, while she rode me like a stallion.

"Mmmm, you like that, baby? You like your Mistress's pussy fucking your cock?"

Sweat had dripped off her body as she rode me hard before easing off when I got close to cumming, only resuming her ride after my orgasm became more distant.

Afterwards, as seemed to be her custom, she had coated her finger in the jizz dripping from her puffy pussy and held it in front of my face to feed me. "Do I have to?" I had whined. She looked at me with all seriousness. "No, you don't have to." We faced off for another moment and then I opened my mouth and she pushed her finger inside. I swallowed it all. Yet another, penis-in-vagina session that felt like a net loss for my masculinity.

But I hadn't seen Tom in weeks, and I should pay attention.

"Sorry man, just tired. Exams coming up have me stressed out."

Tom wasn't buying it. With a grin, he said, "Sure man, I'm sure that's all it is, wouldn't have anything to do with that absolute knock-out of a girlfriend waiting for you at home, would it?"

I smiled. "Maybe."

"Man, you gotta give me some pointers. I would LOVE to get a girl like Tanya."

'Be a submissive bitch' was the bitter advice that came to mind.

He kept going, "How did you ever find a woman like that? Smart, classy, and smoking hot. I don't even KNOW of anyone else like that. Hell, I'd settle for one of these sorority sluts." He motioned with his eyes over to two scantily-clad hotties talking to two muscular guys at the bar.

To be fair to Tom, they were dressed like sluts. We could clearly see the lower quarter of one girl's ass hanging out of the bottom of her miniskirt. The other girl's bright purple thong was clearly visible between her crop top and the hem of her skirt.

"Bet those sluts take it in the ass. Ha!" Tom said jovially before taking another pull from his beer bottle.

"What's wrong with taking it in the ass?!" I barked at him before I realized what I was saying.

Tom froze with his beer bottle half way to his mouth. His eyes narrowed at me, trying to figure out what my deal was. I gulped. Best case he thought I was fucking Tanya up her ass. Worst case...

He tilted his head with a shrug, "Nothin' man. I think. I don't know. Hopefully someday I'll meet a girl kinky enough to find out for myself!" He grinned and took another pull of his beer.

Tom was my best friend for a reason. Self-assured, honest, no need to front for me or anyone else. It was almost enough to make me want to spill my guts to him. Almost.

"You're too good for them, Tom. Don't settle until you find a girl that makes all your dirtiest fantasies come true!" I smiled, thinking he would laugh, but he just studied me. He knew me too well.

"You sure you're okay, man? I'm here to listen if you want to talk about it."

"Nah, I'm good. Really."

"Alright."

We drank our beers in an easy silence, watching the other bar patrons.

"What about her?" He gestured towards a nerdy-looking girl who had just gotten a beer. She was a little overweight but had a fantastic rack. And she seemed to be alone.

"Could be the future Mrs. Tom. Better go investigate, buddy!"

Tom took another swig of his beer without taking his eyes off of her and then rose from his chair to go find out.

************************

In the library, I sat trying to brainstorm a narrative that was to comprise 30% of my final grade for my creative writing class. But my thoughts kept turning to Tanya.

More and more, with a clear head separated from her influence, I was coming around to her way of thinking. Several things became clear to me. One was that I missed her. I loved her. I really thought she was an amazing person. Maybe a little... rapey... sometimes, but I didn't really think she would ever intentionally hurt me. The second was that I really enjoyed submitting to her and that was okay. It didn't make me any less of a man. In all my fantasies of late, I was hers, kneeling at her feet, findings new ways to pleasure her. Even now, I was wearing one of the thongs she bought me under my jeans.

The more I thought about just completely submitting to her, at least for a while, the more exciting the idea seemed. I couldn't wait to see how happy could I make her by actually trying to be the submissive bitch of her dreams. I imagined lying on my back, pulling my knees up towards my ears, smiling and offering myself to her without any of the psychological baggage I'd been carrying in the way. Tonight, I would give her a tongue bath, licking every square inch of her, before riding her cock until it fell off.

I unzipped an internal pocket in my backpack and took out the training plug she'd been asking me to wear for weeks. Showing up plugged seemed like the perfect gesture to make up with her and announce the next phase of our relationship. I felt like a pervert stuffing the plug up my ass in the library bathroom, but for once it didn't make me feel ashamed. It was like... my hobby. Part of who I was.

Settling back in front of my computer, I resolved to make some headway on this narrative assignment. Maybe I just needed to let my thoughts flow, get some words onto the page, and worry about changing it later. I let my fingers go and watched them prepare to type 'Arcania.'

But they couldn't do it. I swallowed my saliva as my stomach sank. "Type it," I said aloud, though I had intended to say "Type Arcania." This was the most magical thing I had witnessed so far, and it was terrifying. I tried to tell myself it was just in my head and of course I could type the word, but as hard as I tried, I just couldn't.

The experience crystallized something for me. Arcania is a real place that could cause real problems for me and the woman I loved. There was a lot I didn't know, a lot I'd been avoiding, and I needed to start facing the world as it was. Tanya had fought them to let us be together. I needed to get out of my head, stop spending all my time analyzing my masculinity and get busy loving Tanya and figuring out how to keep us safe together.

I wore the butt plug through my next class and then headed to see Tanya.

I was walking back to her apartment when she called me. "Jake, where are you?"

"Hey Tanya! I'm walking to your place right now actually. Listen, I'm sorry for being so... distant recently. I'm actually wearing your-"

She cut me off, "Jake, come straight back. Something is going on. I just saw an Enforcer and-"

I hadn't even noticed the van pulling up alongside me. Two pairs of hands grabbed me from behind and pulled me into the van. My phone flew out of my hands and clattered on the pavement.

They covered my mouth with a rag. The strong chemical smell knocked me down, and I passed out.

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