Night Drive

Content Warning: This story contains themes of masturbation, public exposure, and emotional triggers.

They were nervous, very nervous. They had asked for this, proposed it in a text late at night when they couldn't think of anything else. Laying in their bed, their body clad in only a large t-shirt and some boxer-briefs, one hand on their phone and the other gently rubbing themselves through the material. Once the message had been sent, they stopped touching themselves, bit their nails instead, and waited with anxious knots in their stomach while the typing indicator moved innocuously in the corner of the message. When the seconds turned to minutes, the indicator appearing and disappearing multiple times, they considered recalling the message, deleting it and pretending he had never seen it, never started responding. They agonized over that choice at least four times, but before they could delete it, before the churning ocean of their mind could settle on a course of action, he had responded.

"Yes. Tuesday?"

The response was stark, impossibly simple when compared to the labyrinthine wording of their own message, their own simple request buried in mountains of context and hedging. It felt weirdly anticlimactic that he had typed for so long, and likely deleted and rethought several times, and those two words were all that had been sent. It was so simple an answer that it nearly spiralled their mind back into that anxious storm of second guessing, pushing down their desires, and generally just trying to be agreeable. Almost made them claw it back, say they were joking, and to forget about it. But they had practiced being clear with what they wanted, with asking for the things they desired, and their therapist had helped them focus on the positive possibilities rather than the negative ones. And he had said yes.

He had said yes.

They had responded with just a heart emoji, not feeling they had the articulation to translate any of the myriad emotions they were feeling into something understandable in text. They had then collapsed back into their bed, the soft tangle of blankets a welcome relief as their body melted into it, their hand slowly finding its way back to their underwear and gently rubbing against the material. They held onto that feeling, that excitement and arousal, as their mind fought itself to present to them every positive and negative scenario that could come out of this.

It could be wonderful, bring them closer together, and open up some amazing possibilities. It could ruin this friendship, could give him the wrong idea, he could show up and then just ridicule them for their request. He could show up, smile, and then lay them out with a punch and then kick them in the dirt for being "a filthy queer". He would never do that, he'd defended them more than once, but their mind wasn't rational when it was afraid. It could just be fun, and mean nothing. All of these and more battled in their head that whole night and into the morning, making them late for work the next day because they'd barely slept.

But that was three days ago, and here they were, Tuesday night, pulling up to the front of his house with those same, and some new, thoughts sloshing around in their head. They slowed to a stop and pulled up the parking brake, turning the ignition back and silencing the car. The lights went out and the dimness of late evening sunk around them, encapsulating them from the outside world for a moment. Their phone remained in their pocket, their eyes staring ahead above the dashboard and toward the slowly reddening horizon.

Minutes passed, their eyes unblinking and their mind trapped in a brief and oddly comforting dissociative state. Nothing came in, nothing came out.

They didn't feel the muscles in their legs starting to strain against the awkward position they'd sunken into. They didn't feel the pain in their bottom and low back as the old car's seat springs and rails put pressure on their coccyx. They didn't notice the cold air blowing in through the window and raising the skin of their exposed arms in goosebumps. They didn't feel the dryness in their eyes as the locked position and still eyelids failed to moisten them. They only felt the strange disconnectedness of feeling out of control, out of your body, out of yourself, and just letting the world and its strangeness wash over you.

An echoing thud of the car door closing rang out and yanked them back into their body. It all came back at once, the pain in their tensed calves, their coccyx, and the dry fatigue of their eyes all crashing into their consciousness. They had to close their eyes and fall back into the seat, shaking their head to clear the discomfort.

"Rain? Are you okay?" His voice was deep, slow, and full of compassion. Rain opened their eyes with some effort, blinked a few times to clear the discomfort, and turned their head to him. This was the first time they'd seen him since the request several days prior, and they felt the change in the atmosphere of the car, even if they couldn't place exactly how.

He was so much taller than they were, almost 6'6", and barely fit in the older "Japanese shitbox" as they affectionately called Rain's car, with his neck bent forward and his back arched to keep his tight brown curls from brushing the car's roof. His broad features, full lips, strong nose, and piercing light brown eyes felt so much more intimidating, almost threatening, than they had just days before. Not to mention his shoulders. His broad and strong shoulders that felt so powerful, immovable, and looked so fucking good in the light colored tee he was wearing.

Rain tried their best to compose themselves, drawing from many embarrassing situations in their past to pull up the right mask for this. A smile that seemed genuine, simple, meaningless, appeared on their face and their eyes softened as they intentionally held eye contact for a few seconds before answering.

"Yeah Terry, sorry. I was spacing out when you got in the car and you surprised me. We're good." Rain's voice felt far away as they spoke, not exactly telling the truth but not exactly lying either, like hearing someone else speaking using their body as a conduit. They didn't like doing this with Terry, putting on a different persona, but they knew if they let their guard down now, they'd chicken out, drive somewhere else, do something different, and tell Terry they didn't mean any of it. If they could keep the mask on a little longer, appear comfortable, composed, and not at all anxious, they might go through with it.

"You ready?" Rain asked with a bright voice, the last syllable going up an octave as it often did when they were trying to appear cheerful. Terry hesitated, his thick brow furrowing in some combination of concern and confusion before he nodded slowly. "Sure, let's go." He said and tried on his own performative smile. It seemed Rain wasn't the only one who was nervous.

Rain pressed the brake in and turned the ignition, the starter motor whirring as it attempted two times to turn over the engine before the pistons caught and the car started. They smiled sheepishly and shrugged as Terry chuckled, both of them thinking back to when Terry had told them this car was a terrible investment. Rain smiled and turned their eyes back to the road, releasing the parking brake and pulling forward onto the empty street, the dim headlights cutting through the encroaching darkness.

--

They drove for half an hour, winding their way first through empty city streets, then over a twisting highway that took them up a nearby hill after a dozen switchbacks and 15mph turns. The drive had started out pretty comfortable, both of them laughing and catching up about the last few days, their masks serving their purpose. However, as each mile ticked closer to their destination, the stretches of silence between words grew longer and the physical tension in their bodies increased. As the minutes dragged on, Rain felt each number tick over on the odometer more acutely than they had ever before.

Terry was sitting back now, but his legs were pretty much locked against the glove compartment and his arms were crossed tightly on his chest, almost defensively. His eyes were turned out the passenger window and his chin held upward. Rain felt the tension in their own body too, their knuckles turning almost white on the steering wheel as they made each turn, their shoulders pulled up toward their neck, and their right thigh tight and twitchy with each lift and press of their foot on the pedal.

Rain looked back at the odometer: two miles left. They hadn't pulled up directions on their phone, didn't really want the intrusion of the robotic voice giving them directions, and had instead memorized the number of miles to the spot (practiced it twice a few days ago actually). In less than five minutes they'd had to stop the car, and there would be no turning back once that happened. With that thought, they felt a response in their body, the cotton of their underwear suddenly tight against the swelling in their groin. The sensation was both arousing and uncomfortable, another reminder of what they had said, what they had felt, and what they were really about to do.

Rain cleared their throat, there hadn't been a word in over five minutes now, and they felt Terry's body turn toward theirs as he looked over. "We're just about there..." Rain trailed off, their voice quieter, meeker than normal. They felt their resolve melting and their old habits of minimizing, canceling plans, and ignoring their desires due to embarrassment or worry of being a burden coming back. They tried so hard to push through it, but instead said the line they knew they would, hating the words coming out of their mouth. "We don't have to do this. It was silly... stupid... I don't even know why I brought it up."

Silence.

They stared ahead at the road, their body autopiloting them the last mile as their mind churned again. Embarrassment, denial, fear, anxiety, and grief all combining in a horrible soup of emotions within them. Terry didn't move, didn't speak, just stared at Rain as they focused on the road, or appeared to.

Then Terry scoffed. Actually scoffed. Dismissing the bullshit coming out of Rain's mouth as if it had been bad propaganda. Which, in a way, it was. Rain's own mind, directed by their past and their trauma, was tricking them into thinking this was a mistake: a dumb request and that Terry had only agreed because he wanted to fuck with Rain, embarrass them, laugh at them, and leave them crying on the top of the hill as he drove away in their car. Terry knew Rain, and knew where this was coming from.

"I said yes, didn't I?" Terry said and looked out the window again, his voice sounding a little defensive. Rain felt knots in their stomach, their internal dialogue now calling them an idiot for trying to pull out, and unsure of how to interpret this whole situation. But they hadn't heard a clear "yes, this was dumb, let's not do this, why did you ever think I would" come from Terry, and so they slowed the car to a stop, pulled in the emergency brake, and turned the key to "off". The night fell on them again when the car's headlights went out, like a heavy blanket of silence and darkness that wrapped them in a world of only a few cubic feet within the metal body of the car.

Suddenly, the pressure felt somehow even greater. Rain felt themselves slipping away again as they stared into the night through the windshield. The view was beautiful, the lights of the city in the valley below and the deeper blackness of the mountains in the distance holding up the glittering curtain of stars that was the sky. No moon tonight, its pale silvery light absent from the spectacle of the million stars softly illuminating only the slightest of details outside. Rain felt themselves being pulled into the view, out of their body again. They peripherally knew their breathing had slowed, their eyes had stopped blinking, and their body had become still.

But they weren't thinking about what their body was doing in the world, they were back in the storm of their emotions, trying not to drown as the thing they had been agonizing over was now imminent. For weeks they had thought of it, talked themselves out of and into it over and over, and for the past few days had both been actively looking forward to and running away from it. They didn't feel the water of their emotions washing over them, didn't feel their legs and arms treading that water, struggling to keep their head above it. They didn't feel any of it because they were running, leaving their body and their mind in the car while they tried to flee and get away from the situation they had created.

But they didn't get far. They were pulled back in again, this time by Terry's large, warm hand on their wrist. It felt different today, different than the hundreds of times they'd accidentally touched while working on something together or just walking side by side. It felt intentional, deep, meaningful.

He was looking at Rain, saying something, but they weren't back in their body enough yet to hear or understand the words. They turned their head, focused their eyes, tried so hard to be in the moment, and slowly their hearing returned. "... let's at least try." Rain had no idea what else was said, but they knew this was it, last chance to turn back. Last chance to stop it all and pretend it never happened, that they had never asked.

The seconds stretched, time slowed in their mind even as the pressure mounted. They felt the words on their tongue, but their mouth wouldn't open. The darkness hid the flushing blood in their cheeks, the acceptance that this was happening and they wouldn't stop it. Terry couldn't see the way they looked at him, couldn't see the longing in Rain's own blue eyes as their body began to respond to the promise of what they'd asked for. But he didn't need to, he had said yes.

The heat left Rain's wrist, Terry's big hand gone and the sudden exposure to the cool, night air shocking them to greater awareness. His hand moved back to himself, first resting on his thigh, then shifting to the button at his waist as he undid it. His other hand moved to pull at the zipper and soon the only thing covering him was the soft, thin cotton layer of his boxer shorts. Rain was transfixed, all of their distracting emotional turmoil falling into the background as Terry undid the button on his boxer shorts and slid his hand through the opening. The hand grasped and pulled, and Rain could see the head of his cock dragging along inside the shorts, watching the bulge move closer to the opening until the thick shaft sprung out into the open air, already half hard.

It was quite large, bigger than Rain had thought. They had known it was pretty big just from seeing Terry over the years (penises often had a mind of their own and Terry had been hard in his pants more than a few times), but they were not prepared for the thick, heavy cock that slapped down with an audible thud and rested in their friend's hand. It was beautiful, a dense veiny shaft that moved slowly with a heaving weight to it, leading up to a thin foreskin straining as it pulled back from an ever-growing head, the glans dark purple and flanged with a delightful curve to it. The full shaft itself had seemed pretty big already, but as it hardened under Rain's gaze, it became even longer, now stretching a full two inches beyond Terry's hand.

Rain's night vision was pretty good, and when they looked up to Terry's face, they could see that he had turned away, his cheeks flush with red that darkened his already dark face as his hand nervously and slowly moved up and down his cock. Rain's own cheeks burned red as they felt their own hardness straining at their pants, insistent.

They reached down, feeling the sensitivity in their body light up each spot they touched with fire as their fingers glided under their shirt, over their stomach and into their pants. One hand worked the button while the other grasped their already straining cock and tried to straighten and turn it to the side so they had some slack in their pants and could get the button and zipper down. Their underwear was hot to the touch and already wet with the precum that had been slowly oozing out, and their cock throbbed with every beat of their heart as the zipper came down, the button popped open, and they pulled their underwear down.

Their cock sprung into the warming air of the cabin, the windshield already starting to fog as the heat of two bodies, two desires filled the space. Rain's was smaller, a thick shaft but short, with curving veins climbing up to a narrow head with no foreskin. It fit perfectly in their hand, and they began to stroke it up and down, slowly, tentatively as they felt the pressure of the situation begin to melt away. They turned their eyes forward, looking out over the city lights as their heat built with each stroke, aware of Terry but not looking directly at him.

Rain's hand felt better here, next to Terry, than it had ever felt when they touched themselves before. They both stroked in silence, no words as their breathing started slow and deep, accelerating with each moment that passed. Rain was afraid to look, afraid to mess up this moment by watching their friend stroke himself in the same space, the same car, that big cock swollen and bulging in his massive hand. Yet, they could hear Terry's breathing, imagine those powerful shoulders working, the biceps and forearms flexing with each motion as that lovely hand moved up and down the glorious shaft. They wanted to look so bad, felt their body begging them to not only look but to touch, felt their own cock dripping from the tip, their wetness slowly coating the shift and changing the sensation with each stroke..

Both of them stroked alone, and together, for another 30 seconds, though it felt like so much longer to Rain, with each breath now coming heavily, the steam no longer lingering in the air as it warmed ever further. Rain felt the tension growing thicker, felt the need from them both, the desire to cum, to consummate this strange meeting, Rain's request, with orgasm.

Rain tried so hard to keep looking ahead, to not put pressure on it or risk triggering Terry by doing something other than what was asked in the text. But each heavy breath, each deep stroke in the passenger's seat made it harder for them to stick to just touching themselves, harder for them to not want more.

So Rain turned their gaze. Their head swivelled and their eyes started to move downward when they noticed Terry's eyes were already turned, already focused on Rain's own cock bouncing up and down with each stroke, its soft, fair skin slick and shining in the dim light as another drop of clear precum formed on the tip and was pulled away by the motion of their hand. Their cock twitched, their muscles tightened, and Rain felt their orgasm welling, unable to stop it knowing that Terry had been watching them this whole time, had wanted to watch them. Not just stroking together, but stroking together.

Rain broke eye contact and looked down, saw Terry's hand stop, holding his cock tight right below the head. Rain watched as that head swelled another half of its size greater in an instant and Terry's voice came out in a strangled gasp as the first bulb of white appeared at the tip. They couldn't wait, Rain felt their own throbbing cock explode, cum shooting out all over their hand, lap, and stomach as they couldn't take their eyes off their best friend. The relief poured out of them like a fountain, dribbling in thick streams and briefly shooting out with each twitch of their prostate. They didn't stop stroking, the cum making their hand and cock even slicker, the sound going from a gentle sliding sound to a loud, sucking wetness as Terry's eyes widened, his cock pulsed, and that drop of white cum became a geyser. The thick ropes of his semen shot out much more and farther than Rain's, landing not only on himself but spattering across the steering wheel and against Rain's chest.

Rain felt another orgasm follow the first, quicker than they'd ever done. Feeling Terry's cum sent them over the edge a second time, their cum dribbling out of their head and down their clenched fingers as the sensitivity and pleasure bent them forward, their muscles contracting at every joint and forcing them into a ball as they tried to keep stroking. They pushed through the intensity, their slick hand pounding away at their straining cock. Then the pleasure became pain, and they gritted their teeth and pushed through that sensitivity too, determined to ride the orgasm until they couldn't anymore.

Rain lifted their head, tried to relax their shoulders, and made eye contact with Terry as they moaned and stroked again, and again, and again. Long hard strokes that had their hand slamming against their pelvis, but still their cock finally gave in and started to soften in their hand. Rain didn't want it to end, their moaning becoming a groan and then a soft mewl of displeasure as they collapsed back against the driver's door, their body begging for air and a break. Their chest heaved with each deep, gasping breath, as they felt the wetness of Terry's cum slowly soaking through the cotton to rest against their skin. They savored it, loved it, wanted more, but their body was refusing to cooperate and they tried hard to steady their breathing: tried to remember where they were as they shut their eyes tightly and focus.

Rain's eyes shot open when they felt a now familiar heat against their thigh. They watched Terry's hand move up their thigh, over the now wet edge of their pants and between their legs to gently cradle their limp, cum-covered cock. Rain's shaft twitched at the touch, but would not revive, only pulsing gently against the touch with each heartbeat. Despite the intoxicating cocktail of panic and arousal swirling in Rain's mind and dumping hormones into their bloodstream, or perhaps because of it, the cute little cock remained soft and pliable.

Both of them stayed like that for a few minutes, Rain slowly recovering, their breathing becoming more steady, and Terry gently massaging Rain's soft, pliable little cock. Rain loved it, needed it, but wished they could get hard again. Their blush was deeper now, but they didn't stop Terry, didn't even break eye contact. Rain just lived in that moment where their best friend, their closest male companion, held their twice-used cock in his massive hand and looked into their eyes.

Rain felt the heat in them welling again, an arousal going not to their cock, but to their chest, their thighs, their lips, and their head. Their lips parted, their breathing shortened again, their eyes dilated and they felt in their soul that they wanted to lean forward, get closer, and kiss this beautiful man. As they moved forward, something snapped in Terry and his eyes grew sharper, his hand stopped, and his body stiffened. They both froze.

A second of inaction was broken when Terry gave Rain's cock a little squeeze, as if patting it on the back, and then released. He turned away from Rain, and pushed his now limp shaft back into his underwear, zipped his pants, buttoned them, and smoothed out his messy shirt as best he could. Rain fell back into their own seat and did the same, both of them trying their best to get themselves presentable and their hands clean without looking or talking to each other.

Rain's blush now was embarrassment, not excitement, and despite the amazing experience they just had, their mind was beating them up over even thinking Terry would want to kiss them. They couldn't tell what Terry was thinking, and they were afraid to look over and try to guess, but they suspected he was as conflicted as they were, if not more so. They both stared forward through the foggy windshield, watching the city lights below them glowing, fighting back the darkness that filled the night.

Rain let their emotions swell, their thoughts empty, and just watched it. Minutes passed, the silence stretched, and then Rain felt Terry's hand take theirs.