Keepers

A short tale for all the step-ups and the back-getters. The oath-takers and the light-keepers.

*****

August 23, 2003

Junction City, KS

As evening approached, Jacob Pierson had an overwhelming desire to throttle every weatherman who had confidently predicted mild heat and a slight breeze for the day. Having grown up in the shade of the Allegheny National Forest, the young man was still not accustomed to his adopted state's unforgiving weather. The temperature itself would be tolerable in most places, but the Kansas landscape provided little relief. With few trees and no hills, the sun's rays were unrelenting.

At the other end of the yard, Jacob's seven-year-old niece, Kayleigh, was gearing up for a run at a makeshift slip-and-slide. As she made her way across the slick surface, her squeals of laughter revealed a much rosier take on the weather than that of her uncle. Hearing that made any discomfort on his part well worth it.

It's amazing what you can accomplish with a cheap tarp and a sprinkler.

Jacob was contemplating a trip down himself when he heard the screen door slamming next door. His elderly neighbor, Pauline "Polly" Ruiz, shuffled slowly toward him with an ice-cold bottle of beer in each hand. She eased into the lawn chair next to Jacob's and set one of the drinks in front of him. He briefly considered declining but figured it was an argument he was bound to lose.

"That wasn't much of a nap, Polly."

"I'll sleep when I'm dead. Stop rushing me, I'm sure it won't be long," Polly Ruiz replied while lighting up one of her ever-present Marlboro Lights.

"Fair enough," Jacob snickered. It was the type of blunt statement he'd grown accustomed to hearing since moving in months earlier. While he valued her candor, it was only one of the many qualities he had come to appreciate. Despite her advanced age and quickly deteriorating hip, Polly had been integral in helping Jacob adjust to his new reality.

"Now, tell me... did she really have a mullet?"

The young man nearly choked on his beer, and it was all he could do not to spit it all over his lap. His stunned laughter was exactly the type of response Polly had hoped for, and something he needed.

The she Polly was inquiring about was Lori Pierson, Jacob's older sister, mother to young Kayleigh, and a Non-Commissioned Officer in the United States Army. While Kayleigh Pierson was blowing out her birthday candles earlier that afternoon, her mother was toiling away at a forward operating base in Kadhamiyah, a northern neighborhood of Baghdad, situated on the West bank of the Tigris River. SGT. Pierson was a common topic of conversation between the two neighbors, and she was always at the forefront of Jacob's mind. Polly, in addition to living next door, was also the sibling's landlady. After a distinguished military career of his own, Polly's late husband had retired from nearby Fort Riley, and the couple decided to make their home in the area. They bought several properties surrounding the post and rented them, almost exclusively, to service members. When Lori Pierson first arrived at her duty station, she found herself at the bottom of a lengthy wait list for on-post housing. Polly was happy to help and had taken an instant liking to the young Sergeant.

Before taking her power nap, the older woman had helped Jacob keep tabs on the dozen classmates Kayleigh had invited over for her birthday party. While their young charges were reveling in a sugar-fueled frenzy of party activities, Jacob had been regaling his neighbor with Lori's past exploits and questionable fashion choices. Polly seemed eager to continue the conversation with all but two of their guests having gone home. Jacob was happy to oblige.

"She did, but in her defense, it was a very feminine mullet. She went through a few interesting phases when she was a teenager," Jacob finally replied, smiling at the memory.

"You can't drop a statement like that and leave me hanging, darlin'."

Jacob shrugged as he watched her light another cigarette directly off the previous one. "I dunno. It was the eighties, you know? She had a big perm at one point. You remember Aqua Net hairspray? I'll bet she went through half a can of that a day. She did the ripped jeans. A leather jacket. All of it."

Polly laughed until her laugh morphed into fits of coughing, and then she laughed some more. By then, she had known Lori Pierson for years, and the picture Jacob painted of her youth was a far cry from the woman Polly thought she knew.

"Sorry, hon," she said, trying to catch her breath. "That's hard to see."

Jacob could certainly understand that. His sister had changed dramatically over the years, and very little of it had to do with her wardrobe. The truth was, there had been a period in her life when Lori could have chosen a much darker path. She would have had plenty of excuses to do so, had fate not stepped in.

"I don't think she ever got into too much trouble, but I know she liked looking the part," he said, telling only part of the truth.

"Oh, your mother must have loved that."

With that, there was a noticeable shift in the conversation. Polly watched the young man's smile falter, and its replacement was clearly forced. It occurred to her then how few details either sibling had shared about their past. She knew the broad strokes, but not enough to avoid stirring up something unpleasant.

"Mom didn't care," Jacob replied, harsher than intended.

"Hon, I'm sorry..."

"It's okay. I didn't mean to snap at you, Pol. Mom and Lo didn't get along is all."

Jacob gently patted the old woman's hand, trying to offer her reassurance that there was no harm done. He could have left it there. Later, he thought maybe he should have left it there, but he pressed on, nonetheless.

"Lo moved out when she was fifteen."

"Christ, she was still a baby!" Polly exclaimed, genuinely shocked.

Although she and her late husband had decided against having children of their own, they had both come from large extended families. The Ruiz's loved to dote on all their nieces and nephews, sometimes to the chagrin of their parents. Coming from such a warm environment, Polly could not fathom how Lori's relationship with her mother could have deteriorated to that point.

Unfortunately, it wasn't that rare where Jacob and Lori had grown up. Smethport, in Northwest Pennsylvania, was the very definition of "blink, and you'll miss it." There was little money, few people, and even fewer jobs. It was the kind of place people referred to as Nowhere on a map. If it were possible for someone to be from a place more insignificant than Nowhere, then they could only be from Nowhere's trailer park.

Lori and Jacob Pierson happened to be from that very place.

"They couldn't stand each other. It was better that way. Nothing Lo did was good enough. Her clothes were wrong. Her friends were wrong. Everything was just wrong, according to Mom. Lo had a really hard time in high school. She graduated though."

Jacob turned slightly and could no longer hold his neighbor's eyes. Something stuck beneath one of his fingernails caught his attention, and he began to fidget. "Mom called her stupid all the time. Lo was a senior before they finally figured out she was dyslexic. If Mom was worth a shit, she'd have figured it out sooner and gotten her some help."

"My sister is NOT stupid," he added, meeting Polly's eyes, once more. The woman certainly had no intention of arguing the point.

"It must have been really hard on you not having her there."

"After she moved out, Lo stayed with friends, mostly, but she used to come back all the time. She'd bring me happy meals sometimes. Even though Mom was still... Mom, Lo would make her dinner sometimes, too. She used to take me for rides..."

"One of her first boyfriends had a Mustang. God, it was loud. That's when she found the love of her life," he added with a chuckle.

"Who was he?" Polly asked, suddenly quite curious.

"The boyfriend? I don't remember his name. I was talking about the car," he replied, as his landlady rolled her eyes.

Lo was an absolute wizard with engines. If there was any definitive image from his childhood that Jacob clung to, it was the sight of his sister underneath the hood of a car, covered in grime, as her beloved boombox blared Black Sabbath through the whole trailer park. He'd watch her for hours, holding a flashlight she would pretend to need, just so her little brother could feel useful. Even after she had left home, Lo always made him a priority. To Jacob, his sister, at her core, would always be vanilla perfume and engine grease. Heavy metal and warm hugs.

The conversation lulled, and Kayleigh and her party guests filled the void with laughter. Polly fired up another cigarette and continued nursing her beer. She was still curious, and eager to hear more, but leery about stumbling into uncomfortable territory. It was Jacob who finally broke the stalemate.

"Lo moved back when I was ten. After Mom died."

Their mother's body was discovered by a neighbor on a dreary Wednesday morning in late February. They estimated that she had been dead since Monday, the result of an intentional overdose. Those closest to Elizabeth Pierson, however, understood that her life had effectively ended years before that in a pile of twisted metal, on Route 6. The crash had killed Lori and Jacob's father instantly, but astonishingly, first responders were able to revive Elizabeth. Still, she was in constant pain, and unable to afford any meaningful treatment. Luxuries such as insurance or savings had not been a priority for her perpetually unemployed husband. She came to rely on pain medication. Hers, and whoever was willing to part with theirs for a reasonable price. Drugs were never in short supply in Nowhere's trailer park, even as hope could be scarce.

There was a steady drizzle the day she was found. It had turned to sleet by the time Jacob's school bus pulled up to the dirt road leading to his home. Dusk was approaching and the overcast sky made it easy to see the flashing blue lights dancing between the pine trees that lined the entrance. A police presence was known to be rare in that area, a fact that had the other children on the bus speculating even as Jacob made his way up the aisle. He watched his sister emerge from the trees, her eyes uncharacteristically moist, and he knew instantly that everything had changed.

"Lori took care of you?" asked Polly.

"She did. Honestly, I think Lo cried even more than I did. At first, I thought maybe it was because of me. Cause she was stuck with me. When I asked her, though, she told me it was because she'd never get the chance to show Mom, she was wrong about her."

Initially, the police were confused about how their mother had gone undiscovered for so long, but one look into the woman's bedroom told them everything they needed to know. Over the years, as her pain and bitterness grew, Elizabeth Pierson became ever more reclusive. Jacob could go days without seeing her, fending for himself with a bowl of cereal, or under Lo's care. Knowing that she had laid in there, in that state, would haunt the boy's nightmares for years after.

"I didn't wanna stay there," he said, referring to the rundown single-wide he had called home his entire life. "We didn't have much choice, though. We cleaned it up. God, we cleaned it for weeks. Mom's room took forever. She never threw anything away. I barely even recognized it when we were done. After that, things got... better."

In truth, better was an understatement. There were growing pains, to be sure. At the end of the day, Lori Pierson was still a 19-year-old girl, used to coming and going as she pleased. The transition to full-time caregiver was more than a little jarring. While most of her friends were still enjoying the teenage thrills of bonfires, booze, and debauchery, Lo was learning to stretch a very thin budget. Eventually, she was able to secure a decent job as a mechanic at one of the larger car dealerships in Bradford, but money was always tight.

Despite the hardships, some of Jacob's best memories were formed in those early years. "We didn't have a damn thing. Lo was always counting change and hunting coupons. We couldn't afford to go anywhere. Her last few years, Mom used to record just about everything on TV. Who knows why? We cleared a bunch of boxes of VHS tapes out of her closet. They weren't labeled or anything. We spent a lot of time watching those. Lo called it VCR roulette. Whatever got picked, we had to finish. I've seen every episode of Columbo. I've seen more Guiding Light than anyone should ever be subjected to. We roasted a lot of hotdogs in the front yard. Sometimes she'd surprise me with marshmallows," Jacob recalled with a grin.

Born at the tail end of the Great Depression, on a ranch in West Texas, Polly could certainly relate to tough times. Still, she marveled at Lori's strength, and her ability to guide them through such a stressful period. It was clear that Jacob felt much the same way. He took none of it for granted.

"Well sweetie, from here, it looks like your sister did a heck of a job," offered Polly.

"She had her moments," he said, wryly.

She was amazing.

It was never easy, but Lori understood perfection could be the enemy of good. She never rested and worked hard every day to improve their quality of life. It was this drive that started her on the road into the military. Then, only 22 years old, Lori had never once considered that a viable option. Fate intervened when the local Army recruiter sputtered into her garage with a busted radiator. The reserves offered her a chance to ply her trade in a challenging environment, and more importantly, it would mean extra revenue for her family.

As was common, that chapter in their lives presented challenges. With basic and advanced individual training, Lori was gone for months. She arranged for Jacob to stay with Ms. Meyer, and her six cats, three trailers down. The time apart was difficult, but there was no room for complaints. While Lo would have argued the point, her younger brother considered her well-being every bit as important as she considered his, and he always supported sister's decisions.

The training agreed with Lo, and she seemed more confident upon her return. While never in terrible shape, she was more toned and energetic. She would wake up early and run the paths in the woods behind the park. Her smile, always radiant, took on a new dimension when she returned from her drill weekends. Lori Pierson had found something she excelled at.

A rare breeze made its way through the yard and brought with it a moment of tranquility. It was short-lived, as a shrieking and tearful Kayleigh soon shattered the peace. She had overshot the landing zone off her slip-and-slide and banged her knee against the nearby picnic table. Jacob salved the grievous injury with another cupcake and a magic kiss, a power bestowed upon him by Lo before her departure. Polly kept to the background, stealthily snapping a few pictures of the exchange. Her health fully restored, Kayleigh returned to her friends and Jacob wandered back to his smirking neighbor.

"What?"

"You're a natural. That's a lucky little girl."

"She'd be lucky if her mother was here."

"Of course, hon, but that's not the world we live in right now. There are lots of kids missing mommy or daddy today. They don't all have an Uncle Jay."

"They don't all need one," Jacob mumbled.

With some trepidation, Polly pursued the unsubtle jab in her usual elegant manner. "I take it there's still no word from the asshole?"

"No, and his mother claims to still not know where he is, too."

Paul Caldwell, the aforementioned asshole, was Kayleigh Pierson's father. He was five years Lori's senior, and a newly employed salesman at her dealership when she met him in the fall of 1995. His tenure lasted only a few weeks, as the stockpile of ambition he had tapped into to secure the job dried up when he actually had to do it. Still, Jacob understood Lori's attraction, initially. Caldwell was decent-looking, and charming when he put some effort into it. His sister, only human, had the same needs and desires as anyone else, but it still came as quite a shock to Jacob when he became an uncle at sixteen.

There was no grand love story. After losing his job, Caldwell slinked back home to Cleveland. He would appear on occasion for important milestones in Kayleigh's life, or when he was short on cash. Lori was no fool, but she wanted to give the father of her child every opportunity to be in the girl's life. For Jacob, the shine wore off quickly. Despite his gregarious personality, he found Caldwell to be lazy and incredibly shallow. Lo was aware of her brother's animosity and worked hard to keep the peace. Later, Jacob would come to regret putting that extra burden on his sister when she already had so much on her plate, but his doubts about Caldwell proved well-founded.

"Has Kayleigh asked about him at all today?" asked Polly.

"Not once," Jacob responded. There was a small part of him that feared Caldwell would have the audacity to show up for Kayleigh's party, and another, much darker part that hoped he would.

"Darlin' I'm not gonna have anything to worry about if he comes sniffing around, am I? He ain't worth going to jail over."

Jacob swallowed hard and his eyes drifted back to his niece, again playing joyfully with her friends, her owie long forgotten. "No Ma'am," he whispered. "I was raised better than that."

"I just know you were, hon."

Polly smiled her way through another coughing fit and promptly fired up a cigarette. Reaching through curls of smoke, she pushed a clump of unruly hair back behind Jacob's ear. He was a handsome young man, of that there was no doubt, but he was tired. The circles under his eyes and the slump in his shoulders only told part of the story. His exhaustion ran deeper, and as the wife of a career soldier, it was a feeling Pauline Ruiz knew all too well.

"You get any sleep at all today?" she asked, gently.

Jacob smiled, as he knew the question would come at some point. "No. Kayleigh wanted to get her hair cut before the party. I got that taken care of this morning and then I had to get things set up. The cupcakes took me two tries to get right," he replied, sheepishly.

Shortly after arriving in the sunflower state, Jacob managed to find suitable employment at the Conoco station just outside Ft. Riley's rear entrance. The hours were irregular, switching between the first and third shifts. His niece was his priority, and the managers understood his need to be home for her in the evenings. When he worked nights, Polly would come over and doze in the recliner while Kayleigh slept. Usually, Jacob would try to catch a couple of hours' rest after getting the little girl off to school, but there were days when that wasn't practical. In truth, sleep had not come easy since Lo Pierson deployed.

"I wish you'd take better care of yourself. You've always got something going on. Your sister wouldn't want you running yourself ragged," Polly lectured.

"I'm fine. Lo has it a lot worse."

While there was no arguing that, the old woman had a point as well. When not at work or looking after Kayleigh, Jacob stayed on the move, doing anything he could to help his sister. He had amassed a huge cache of supplies to send to Lori and the soldiers under her command. While his funds were limited, the surrounding communities were more than eager to help, and their generosity only bolstered the young man's appreciation for his adopted state. A used bookstore in Manhattan had gifted him hundreds of slightly read paperbacks. In Herrington, a beautiful, befreckled cashier at Duckwall's contributed enough foot powder to absorb Kansas's own Milford Lake. Illustrated tales of horror, adventure, and titillation were generously provided by Sarah's Comic Shop in Lawrence. Discmans, disposable cameras, board games, playing cards, and hygiene products of every imaginable kind, including a metric ton of baby wipes had been collected, packed, and shipped with love, at least once a week.

Understandably, mail was a logistical challenge in the immediate aftermath of the invasion. It took nearly two months for the system to normalize. Before that, letters to and from Lo would arrive in spurts. Jacob had steady phone contact with his sister when her unit was staged at Camp Doha, in Kuwait, but she warned him that communication would be sparse once they crossed the border into Iraq. On March 28, 2003, he told Lo he loved her and hung up the phone. He didn't hear from her again for almost a month. In the interim, Jacob's imagination weaved a steady tapestry of horror and catastrophe. The silence was unbearable.

Hoping to lighten the mood, Polly attempted to steer the conversation into what she thought was safe territory. It just was not her day. "This is going to be over before you know it, Darlin'. You'll be back at school, acting a fool in no time. Frat parties. Girls. All that good stuff."

His response was certainly not the one she had anticipated. Again, he averted his eyes, his expression was that of a child with his hand caught in the cookie jar. Suddenly, Polly was very anxious.

"Hon, you are going back. Your sister... do you know how often she talked about that?"

Jacob was looking into the distance, but his focus was elsewhere. "Did she ever tell you about the morning I left for college?" he asked in a near whisper.

Knocked off guard, Polly could only shake her head in response.

"Lo let me sleep in as long as she could. I stayed up way too late. She had some of my friends over the night before. We just played some cards. Jammed a little bit. When she came to knock on my door, she was... you know about the Class As, right?" Jacob asked, referring to the Army's formal dress uniform.

"Oh yes. My husband looked damn handsome in his. Definitely got my motor running," Polly replied, laughing as her companion turned a deep shade of red.

"I'd only ever seen Lo wear hers one other time. I think it was for a funeral or something, but she wore them the morning she dropped me off at school."

"Did you ask her why?"

"She said..."

Jacob tried mightily to disguise the crack in his voice with a cough as he felt himself choking up. His neighbor looked away and busied herself by lighting another cigarette, allowing him time to compose himself and keep his dignity intact.

"Because you deserve my best," Jacob rasped.

It was three hours, one way, from Smethport to the University of Pittsburgh. Lo had stayed with him the whole day: getting him settled into his dorm, touring the campus, and buying him a dinner she probably couldn't afford. Everywhere they went, Lori Pierson drew looks of admiration. It was an expression Jacob knew all too well, having looked up to her his entire life.

"That woman loves you to the moon and back, hon."

"I know. And I know how proud of me she is, Pol. I promised her that I'd finish school, and I will. We don't break promises to each other. I never said where I'd finish, though," added Jacob, with a sly grin.

While he had yet to make a formal transfer request, preliminary discussions with a counselor at Kansas State had been promising. The campus was just a stone's throw from Ft. Riley, and he could arrange his schedule to take care of Kayleigh when Lo had to work late, or when her unit was in the field. Lori Pierson had always lived her life in service to others, but her greatest aspiration was to be a career soldier. Circumstances being what they were, she wasn't going to be able to do that by herself. She needed him.

They needed each other.

*****

Like many, Jacob had gone off to college wide-eyed and naïve about how rapidly the world could change. He had struck out under the assumption that the home he had always known, modest though it was, would always be there. He was disabused of that notion on his first trip back in the fall of his freshman year. The night before he was set to return to campus, a visibly nervous Lo sat her younger brother down at the kitchen table with an ice-cold pack of Kool-Aid Bursts. She had broken out the good stuff. Whatever it was, it was serious.

"What's wrong?" Jacob asked, nervously.

"I been talking to that new recruiter down in Bradford. He's pretty sure he can find a spot for me stateside. Maybe even with a decent bonus. I might lose a stripe, but I'd get it back quick enough."

"I don't... Lo, what are you talking about?"

Lori watched her brother intently and proceeded with caution. In the immediate aftermath of their mother's death, in addition to the nightmares, he was prone to panic attacks. They eventually tapered off, and it had been years since he'd had one, but she was ever vigilant.

"I'm going active duty, JB. If I don't do it now, I'm never gonna be able to. The guy said Staff Sergeant spots are tough, but I can deal with that."

Reaching out, Lo took her brother's hand, gently. "Take it easy, JB. Breathe, okay? It'll be alright."

Jacob was completely staggered. "You... you're leaving?"

"I gotta get her out of here," she whispered, gesturing to Kayleigh's bedroom door.

"She deserves better than this place. You deserved better, too. I wish my best had been better then, but I've got an opportunity now. I can't do it if you don't have my back. You do, right?"

Always.

The months following Lori's announcement were surreal. His next break found Jacob at the courthouse, standing up for his sister as she exchanged vows with the father of her child. It was the last place he wanted to be, but there wasn't anything he would not do for her. Paul Caldwell would never be his favorite person, but Jacob believed in second chances. Also, realistically, Lori wasn't going to be able to make the transition by herself. When you join the military, you must accept that the mission always comes first, and a solid family care plan is vital. While it's not impossible to make work, the life of a soldier is extremely difficult for single mothers.

In early spring, the Pierson family stood outside their rundown little trailer for the last time. Mr. Meditz, the lot's owner, took the place off Lori's hands for far more than it was worth. The man had always been fond of her, and he genuinely respected the young woman's tenacity. It also didn't hurt that she had kept every vehicle he'd had in the previous decade running, free of charge.

To the surprise of no one, and despite vigorous protestation from her younger sibling, Lo gave every cent from the sale to Jacob.

"You take this, and you find the most reliable car out there. The first opportunity you get, you put your ass in that car and come see me, you hear? Promise me."

Without waiting for an answer, Lo pulled her brother to her and held him tighter than ever. At that moment, they both knew that things would never be the same.

Of course, Jacob kept his promise to her, making his first trip to Kansas later that summer. Despite his sister's best efforts to shield him from it, Jacob could already see cracks forming in the foundation of her marriage. Her husband was like a ghost the entire week of the young man's visit. He would sleep away the morning and then head out to "look for a job" the entire afternoon. When he returned in the evenings, the gum and mouthwash he had stashed in his glove box did little to mask the smell of alcohol on his breath.

Regardless, it was a largely pleasant trip. SGT. Pierson hosted a barbeque and proudly boasted about her brother's academic prowess to members of her squad. The Junction City Police Department, responding to a noise complaint, got their first taste of Lo, and her thundering musical preferences. After some initial misgivings over his long hair and a few tattoos, Jacob even managed to win over Polly Ruiz his first time out. Kayleigh never left his side.

On September 11, in his sophomore year, Jacob, once again, found the world devastatingly changed. He was walking across the quad, on his way to the day's first class when he heard a commotion from a nearby day room. Curious, he poked his head inside to find a crowd of his fellow students and staff glued to the television. He knew the images from that day would be seared into his brain until the day he died. The roiling flames and black smoke billowing out into a clear morning sky, heralded in a darkness that would permeate far beyond the New York skyline.

Since he was a little boy, Jacob's first instinct, when he was afraid, was to call out to his sister. They talked often, and he was familiar with her schedule. On a typical day, she would have already marched her squad down to the motor pool, but he desperately needed to hear her voice. He called Lo's house just to listen to the greeting on her answering machine a dozen times that morning.

When the dust finally settled, the shock gave way to a pervasive fear. In that new normal, old wounds were reopened, scratched raw by dubious actors, and embraced by a public clamoring for a lost sense of security. The events of that tragic morning did not lead directly to Lo's future deployment, but they helped shape an environment ripe for further conflict. From that day on, everyone who wore the uniform knew that the clock was ticking.

And so did their loved ones.

The following June, Kayleigh joined her uncle for summer vacation in Pittsburg, while Lori left with her unit for a rotation through the National Training Center in California. The timing was ideal, as Jacob's housemates had cleared out for a bit of tropical weather and youthful hijinks. It would have been the perfect visit, but for what was left unsaid. Paul Caldwell either could not or would not take care of his daughter.

On a crisp morning in early 2003, SGT. Lori Pierson and her squad reported to first formation and were told that the clock had stopped ticking. They had received their orders.

Iraq.

March.

That news alone was enough to shake Jacob to his core, but it was just the tip of the iceberg. Junction City, like any town bordering a major military installation, relied on Ft. Riley for its economic survival. While the area certainly enjoyed its share of legitimate commerce, it also had a dark side. Strip bars, dance clubs, pawn shops, payday loans, and other enticements stood ready and eager to separate young, impressionable service members, and their dependents from their hard-earned cash. While it didn't always work, the Army relied on self-discipline, and a solid chain of command to curb those with an inclination towards self-destruction. Paul Caldwell didn't have the benefit of either of those guardrails, and when confronted with the prospect of abandoning his vices for full-time fatherhood, he chose to simply walk away.

"Polly has been helping out a lot, but she can't look after a kid full-time at her age. I'm gonna go in and talk to the Colonel tomorrow and tell him I'm non-deployable. JB, I'm sorry. I thought... I tried to fix it," rasped a despondent Lo in a late-night phone call.

One didn't need to be in the service to understand that non-deployable meant the end of a soldier's career. There was a fatigue in his sister's voice that Jacob had never heard before, and he vowed to do anything possible to ensure it was never heard again. Lo never even had to ask.

"That's not happening. I've got the little brat. Just get whatever paperwork we're going to need ready. I'll work on closing things out here. Give me five days."

He was there for her in three.

*****

Jacob shuffled through the yard, picking up shredded pieces of papier-mâché, that when whole, bore the likeness of the evil monkey, Mojo Jojo, sworn enemy to Kayleigh's beloved Powerpuff Girls. The little girl and her friends had made short work of the pinata, and the remains represented the last of the evening's cleanup. Polly was slowly making her way up the narrow alley between their houses after seeing the last of Kayleigh's party guests to her parents' car.

"Kayleigh may be a little cranky later. I had to shut down a sleepover with that last one. I told her that Uncle Jay needs his beauty rest."

"She'll be alright when I remind her that we're going to the zoo tomorrow," he replied, smiling.

"Yeah, that'll definitely take the sting out of it. Dinner, after you get back? Been wanting to try this new casserole."

"I promised the kid spaghetti for her birthday. I told her you'd love to come join us."

"Yeah, that girl isn't spoiled at all. I'll bring the Bordeaux," Polly responded, sarcastically, before succumbing to another coughing fit.

"Take it easy, Pol. We'd all like to keep you around for a while longer."

The old woman paused just inside her doorway and fixed Jacob with a look of concern. "Goodnight, boy. Try, try to get some rest, and stay away from the damn news."

As he finally moved inside for the night, Jacob resolved to heed her advice for a change. From the beginning, media coverage of the operation had been constant and could swing wildly from one day to the next. Lo had only been downrange a matter of weeks when the President's jubilant declaration of "Mission Accomplished" was broadcast throughout the world via aircraft carrier. Still, that same night, and every night since, reporters, embedded all over Iraq delivered a different message. With mortar rounds dropping and tracers streaking through the night sky, they grimly chronicled mounting casualties on both sides, and the American vocabulary was expanded to include common phrases such as insurgency and improvised explosive device or IED. For anyone with a loved one in harm's way, watching that was agony, but impossible to avoid.

After drawing Kayleigh's bath, Jacob sorted and prepared the girl's lunches for the coming week. Then, despite the hour, he warmed himself some coffee in the microwave. With his cup in hand, he leaned on the countertop across from the screen door and gazed out onto the small set of concrete steps just outside. He had sat there with Lo, and they had talked all through her last night at home. It was an opportunity for which he was grateful. She had worked brutal hours in the weeks leading up to deployment: prepping vehicles for railhead, inventorying equipment, and ensuring her troops had their affairs squared away. They laughed over shared adventures in the trailer park and filled in the few gaps that existed from their time apart. As morning approached, the mood had grown somber, and Lori turned to find her brother staring into the darkness, fear etched onto his face.

Taking his hand, she favored him with a smile and spoke to him softly. "Remember what Mom used to always say? 'The world is crazy, and everyone in it.' I wish I could give you a guarantee that everything will be okay, but I can't. All that..." said Lo, gesturing up to the stars. "The world's gonna have its say, but it ain't beat us yet. It's because we're in it together, always. Focus on what you can control. Take care of what matters most, every day, and I know we'll get where we need to be."

Reaching out, Lori brushed an unruly lock of hair out of her brother's face to expose a questioning gaze. "Home, little brother. Home," she answered.

Down the hall, the bathroom door creaked open, pulling Jacob from his reflections, and refocusing him on the task at hand. The enormity of his responsibility and the incredible trust Lo had placed in him was never far from his mind. Failing his sister frightened him almost as much as losing her.

Deciding against another cup of coffee, Jacob washed his cup and placed it back in the cupboard. He paused to pull a fresh towel out of the linen closet and then retrieved a large pink comb and some rubber bands from Lo's vanity. He found Kayleigh in the living room at the end of the hall, rummaging through the contents of a box that would soon go out as Lo's latest care package.

"No more candy tonight, sweetie. You put away a whole lot of cupcakes today. I don't want you getting a tummy ache," he said, softly.

Busted, the little girl dropped the bag of Skittles she had been eying so intently onto the desk. "I know. It's for the poor kids, anyway," she replied.

Although she was grateful for everything Jacob sent, candy was the only specific request Lo had ever made in her letters. She, and her fellow soldiers, had taken to sharing portions of their pre-packaged meals, or MREs, with the local children, and not surprisingly, sweets proved to be particularly popular. Jacob's employee discount at Conoco made this request relatively easy to fulfill. Lo never could pass up the chance to make a child smile, and as far as her brother was concerned, she should enjoy as many of those as humanly possible.

Picking up the discarded bag, Jacob did his best to repack the box. In addition to the sugary treats, there were photographs, toiletries, and multiple CDs that he had spent hours burning for his sister. They were packed full of songs he knew she loved, songs he thought she'd love, and some of his original compositions, which he hoped she'd love.

Satisfied, Jacob went about decluttering the rest of the room. Laying across the sofa was a lovely wine-red Gibson Les Paul guitar. He picked it up and set it on a stand in the corner next to his pride and joy, a standard black, refurbished Fender Stratocaster. In anyone else's eyes she was nothing special but having been miraculously gifted to him by Lo on his 13th birthday, Jacob was determined to only be parted from it when it was pried from his cold, dead hands.

Having made enough space, he placed a pillow on the floor in front of the sofa and waved his niece over to start their bedtime ritual. She sat cross-legged in front of him on the pillow, as he used the towel to properly dry her hair, a task she neglected more times than not. Once done, he used the comb to gently brush through her silky blonde locks and then carefully parted it down the middle. While his pigtail game wasn't quite on par with Lo's just yet, the past several months had seen it improve dramatically. He smiled, as he methodically worked his way through the braiding process, pondering how different the girl was from her mother. Whereas Lo was hopelessly devoted to her pixie cut and worn-out Megadeth tee-shirts, Kayleigh was the very picture of girlish refinement. One hair out of place could result in an epic tantrum and a repeat of the entire process.

"Did you have a good birthday, princess?"

"Yeah," she replied, glumly.

Jacob risked a glance down and watched as she began to uncharacteristically fidget. "What's wrong, hon?"

"Uncle Jay?"

"Mmm?'

"Do you think mom will be here for my next birthday?" she asked, a slight quiver in her voice.

Recognizing the moment for what it was, Jacob spoke soothingly and slowed his ministrations with her hair. "I think she will, sweetie. I know it wasn't the same without her, but she'd have been here if she could."

Hoping to distract her, he lightly tugged on a delicate gold chain around her neck, the rest of which was hidden beneath her pink pajama top. "Let's have a look at that again," he said.

The girl pulled her necklace out from the front of her shirt to reveal a beautiful pendant, encrusted with her birthstones and shaped like an angel. The angel's hand was outstretched, silently beckoning for the hand of her mate, who happened to be halfway around the world. Jacob and Lo had searched everywhere, hoping to find the perfect gift to alleviate some of Kayleigh's sorrow at her mother's absence. Much to Lo's delight, they finally came across the twin pendants just days before her departure, at a small jewelry shop in Ogden. Jacob, wanting the moment to be special, had presented it to her before the party.

"Do you think she's wearing her half?" the girl sighed.

"I know she is. I'll bet she's been wearing it since the day she left."

"Can I please sleep out here tonight? I promise not to be grumpy in the morning."

Since his arrival, Jacob had taken to sleeping on the sofa. His sister had expected he would sleep in her bedroom while she was gone, but it felt wrong to invade her space in that way. More importantly, however, he didn't want to be that far away from the phone if Lo was able to call. He suspected his niece had used the same reasoning when making her request.

"I guess so," he replied as he finally finished braiding the girl's hair. "You can pick out a tape to watch, but you can only stay up half an hour, okay? We've got a busy day again tomorrow."

After a thorough inspection to ensure her hairdresser was up to snuff, Kayleigh picked out a VHS tape from beneath the television and allowed her uncle to tuck her in under her favorite blanket.

With her having hijacked the sofa for the night, Jacob would be relegated to the recliner. Still, if it brought her comfort, he considered it a small price to pay.

"Goodnight, old lady," he said, pressing a kiss to his young charge's forehead.

"Thank you for my party, Uncle Jay. I missed Mom, but I still had fun."

"You're very welcome. I love you, brat."

"I love you, too," she whispered, unable to stifle a yawn.

Try as she might, Kayleigh was unable to keep her eyes open for even half of her allotted thirty minutes. Later, with one of the girl's favorites, Stuart Little, winding down in the background, Jacob removed his glasses and settled into the recliner, hoping sleep would not elude him for long. He had passed the hours writing to Lo, detailing her daughter's birthday, and promised to send party pictures just as soon as he got them back from the pharmacy.

With the movie finally at an end, Jacob shut the VCR off, but he left the television on as a nightlight for his slumbering niece. Settling back, his eyes grew heavy, and the night's sounds faded into the distance as he slipped into oblivion.

When Jacob jolted awake several hours later, he would have sworn that he had just closed his eyes. Beside him, the telephone roared to life, shredding the last remnants of tranquility, and filling him with fear. This was always the worst part, as he wondered if he would be reveling in the joy of finally receiving a call from his sister or suffering through the agony of someone calling on her behalf. His hand shook as he brought the receiver up to his ear.

"Hello...?"

*****

April 2, 2004

Ft. Riley, KS

In the months following Kayleigh's party, communication with Lo gradually improved, as Iraq's infrastructure began to recover. The panic Jacob felt with each call never went away, but he was always relieved to hear his sister's voice. Finally, in the third week of March, after the longest year of his life, the exhausted man picked up the phone and got the news for which he was so desperately hoping.

Lori Jean Pierson was coming home.

In any journey, regardless of destination, the final steps are always the longest. The frenzy of activity following Lo's announcement did little to hasten her reunion with the family. After her unit was relieved, they moved back across the border to Kuwait. As transport was limited, service members traveled in small groups when flights became available. After several days, Lo and most of her squad were flown out to the Czech Republic, and then to an overnight at Fort Dix in New Jersey, before finally boarding a plane to Kansas City.

With no solid itinerary to work with, Jacob remained flexible. He attended classes, on post, about how to best approach Lo's reintegration into everyday life. One of his greatest fears was that the woman returning to them would be just a shadow of the one who left. Patience and understanding would be key, and he did his best to counsel his young niece in this, as well. He cleaned the house. He cleaned it again, and then he cleaned it some more.

At long last, the day had arrived, but it was far different than Jacob had anticipated. There was no pomp and circumstance. He was gathered, with a handful of others awaiting their loved ones, in a cluttered conference room at battalion headquarters. Midnight was fast approaching, and on his left, Jacob heard Polly loudly snoring on a couch in the corner. Kayleigh sat at his feet on a blanket; her dolls and coloring books scattered around her. At the front of the room, a Private was seated at a desk, his head bobbing up and down as he tried to stave off sleep. Everyone was dressed casually in jeans or sweatpants. Some of the children had worn pajamas, in anticipation of a long wait. Jacob was the exception. Despite the unseasonably warm weather, he wore a navy-blue suit with a black tie. His hair was neatly pulled back, and he was freshly shaved.

"Because you deserve my best."

Every time a vehicle passed through the parking lot, headlights would illuminate the room, and the crowd would turn toward the front door, hoping the bus had finally arrived. When the moment came, everyone was caught off guard, as they were paying no attention to the rear entrance. Jacob heard a commotion behind him, and in his peripheral vision, he saw a smattering of beige uniforms filtering into the room.

"Mommy!" Kayleigh screamed, jumping off her blanket and launching herself off the empty seat next to her uncle.

Jacob remained still, staring straight ahead, and gripping his chair for all he was worth. He focused on his breathing, allowing time for mother and daughter to revel in their reunion. There was a subtle trace of vanilla in the air around him, and as he realized that, Jacob felt a hot wetness start streaming down his cheeks.

"The world's gonna have its say, but it ain't beat us yet. It's because we're in this together, always."

Through the blur of tears, Jacob saw his niece's feet touch down next to him, briefly released from her mother's embrace. He felt a gentle touch on the back of his shoulder and heard Lo's voice, choked with emotion.

"Jay Bird...?"

" Focus on what you can control. Take care of what matters most, every day, and I know we'll get where we need to be."

Still unable to speak, Jacob turned and looked at his sister, her arms outstretched. He took the final step; the one that mattered most.

"Home, little brother.

Home."

*****

Thanks to Areala-chan for her help and encouragement. You're the best!

To those who have held down the fort, the ones who had to miss the birthday party, and all the beautiful, resilient brats. Thank you.

*****

1SG (Ret.) Lo Pierson's OIF 1 Playlist:

Paranoid-Black Sabbath

For Whom the Bell Tolls-Metallica

The Wretched-Nine Inch Nails

When I Am Queen-Jack Off Jill

Zombie-The Cranberries

Digital Housekeeping-JB Pierson

Dumb (Unplugged)-Nirvana

Killing In the Name-Rage Against the Machine

Feels Blind-Bikini Kill

Dust In the Wind-Kayleigh Pierson (JB on guitar)