Free Use Maid Ch. 03

"What's taking so-damn long!?" Gob-Daddy's croaky voice hollered from inside the tavern, he was peeking over the lip of a busted window, ears perked.

"So sorry! Please be patient with me, I'm trying..." I'd found a few onion shoots growing near a tree, pulling the first revealed it was barely grown, that wouldn't do.

How had they done it back at the maid-service hall? Those girls went out to their garden, rubbed their thighs together, and shoots would grow, bloom, and ripen in minutes. Thighs were associated with the element wood, our womanly tree-trunks.

I squatted low over the shoots, trying to remember the motion, it was like they were making circles with them, feet splayed thighs together, ass out.

I gave it my best, but my legs were still so sore from Bura's rough handling.

"What in the hells are you doing!?" He shouted at me, slammed the door open and started stomping over to where I stood. It was wagging half-ready behind that loin-cloth.

**Liked the show huh?**

"You call yourself a maid?" Approaching from behind, he slapped hands on my outer thighs, gripped, and began making half-circles that switched from clockwise to counter-clockwise.

"Oh!"

**Gob-Fuck me, fuck me please...**

Something had brushed my undercarriage. It took me a solid second to realize it was a rapidly extending onion-shoot.

It kept growing, piercing between my thighs and flipping my skirt.

"There ya go, now pluck the horny bastard and get started on the others." He said and trotted off, acting like his loin-cloth hadn't just gone horrizontal.

"Ha-haah-Alright!"I dropped to my knees, the stalk bending beneath my hips, heart hammering.

I gripped it, gave it a sharp tug, "mmm...", but it didn't want to budge.

**Oh it's like that huh?**

I had to think for a hot minute about how stupid I'd look out here grinding my clit to completion against an onion stalk. Snaking a hand behind my back, I began digging into the soil around it, down to where it grew wide and bulbous, and wrapped my fingers around, gave it a good squeeze. The whole thing sprang from the dirt like I'd just called it Sir. Dirt scattered across my calves and thighs and it smacked into my bottom, an onion worthy of the state fair.

"Gotcha bitch." I tossed it to the side and began working it for the others. If I could figure out how to make onion soup Gob-Daddy was going to feast.

**It can't be too hard right? Chopped onions and water...**

Once I'd coaxed a few more juicy tearjerkers from the soil I went inside to find a pot.

Rummaging through busted cabinets and overturned barrels, I finally found something resembling a cauldron. Heavily dented, black, and coated in the remnants of whatever the hell kobolds ate.

GD sat kicked back on a counter with his legs splayed like he'd just just delivered my first climax.

**I'll make him earn that.**

"You're going to sauté those right?" he asked, stopping me in my tracks.

**S-Sauté?** "Yes sir, in water."

He bolted upright like I'd just smacked him with an idiot stick.

"You're not having a go at me. You're just an absolute fucking moron, right?"

"I-" **I hate how red I blush.**

"You are!"

"I-I'm not... They didn't cover saute at maid orientation..."

"Orientation? You're supposed to take fucking classes! Tulit's Maid Academy has the best cooking instructor on the continent!" He hopped off the counter, "What rock did you crawl out from under?"

"Look, where I come from they have microwaves!" I couldn't look at him, my face was burning hot enough to sauté an onion, whatever the hell that meant, and I'd just started speaking gibberish!

"They have what..." I could hear his eye twitch, "They're expecting me to work kitchen for some skank who doesn't know how to brown an onion! Is the pussy that good!?"

**It might be, because I have no clue why they'd have me here otherwise. Why don't you taste and tell?**

I dropped to my knees, "I'm sorry, okay? I'm in way over my head, you're right, I have no idea what I'm doing..."

Turning my head, I ran onion soaked fingertips across my eye-lids.

**Work, please work.**

It stung, burned, and my eyes welled, "Please... I'll do anything, anything, just please don't out me to them..."

**Please take me up on it.**

A low grumble came from him, "Cut that shit out. You think just cuz I've got green ears I'm going to blackmail you into the sack."

**Oh god, did my heart just flutter?**

"I-I didn't." I said, pulling a wrist across my face, gah it stung even worse.

"Yeah you did." He was sizzling hot and crunchy.

"Sorry... Are you going to-" I switched off the pity me eyes.

"No I'm not outing you to the boss! I ain't a rat either. Geeze you broads are so touchy."

**Knock me up with a litter of goblin-pups, this little man had big Gob-D energy.**

"Now get up, you still owe me dinner." He ambled to the counter and pulled grabbed a clay pot, loosing its lid.

"This was buried in the cellar," it was full of a soft-looking off-white something, "It's lard. You cook 'em in this."

"O-okay. Thank you... Can I please, borrow your knife?" I pointed to the sharpened hunk of metal slung in his cloth-strap.

"What the... No! No you can't chop the onions with a damn shiv!" He turned and started trudging toward the cellar.

"Then what do I-?"

Reaching around the corner, he summoned a leather satchel with belts and straps, "A chef's knife."

Pulling himself up on a stool he unbuckled and rolled it out with care. Filled with gleaming, polished blades, each handle, dark wood worn with use. This greasy curmudgeon apparently only cared about two things. Cooking and making me slick.

He undid the the snap on a knife I wouldn't have picked, long and hefty. I wasn't about to ask him for the small one. He handed it to me, handle out.

"Okay. I'll be back with dinner."

"I'm not letting you out of my sight with that baby. Grab the cauldron, we're heading to the spring."

**He smacked my ass.**

**Haah. Grip it and slide a finger in...**

With that calloused little hand. It stung, it clapped.

**Yes, Gob-Daddy.**