The Confessions of AliceXXX Ch. 01

THE CONFESSIONS OF ALICEXXX

Preface

These are the Confessions of AliceXXX, fabled submissive and self-described "cross-dressing BDSM slut and anal whore." The story of AliceXXX was retrieved from a partially destroyed folder of documents recovered from a dumpster fire by an unusually alert fireman. Without his presence of mind the story would have been lost forever. Those papers then found their way to a mainstream publishing house who, for reasons unknown, did not proceed with publication.

Rumours persist that AliceXXX is (or was) a high profile person - a CEO, Judge or high ranking public servant - and so high profile that their identity has been protected by the so-called Deep State. It is not known whether AliceXXX stopped their depraved activities and returned to a vanilla life, adopted a new BDSM persona or whether they are dead. It is not even known whether AliceXXX is, or was, a man. Despite the content of the Confessions, some sources suspect that AliceXXX was a woman pretending to be a man in a double-bluff to protect her anonymity. That does not seem likely, given the many references to male genitalia. Needless to say, the sensitivity of the matter demands that I am not at liberty to disclose either my identity or how I came to be in possession of the papers.

The confessions are interesting in that they are not merely the diaries of a sex addict, although that is what AliceXXX clearly was. There are fragments of writing displaying poetry, stream of consciousness, note-taking and lists, as well as the partial fragments remaining from the fire damage, leaving us to wonder what has possibly been lost. Another feature is the lack of a chronological structure. These confessions clearly span a significant time span, although what is not clear is what has been written contemporaneously and what is retrospective. Whether they were written by AliceXXX with the intention of being published, or for her own satisfaction, is unknown. The fragments will appear as recovered in the file, and not in chronological order.

Nevertheless, what is undeniable is that the Confessions of AliceXXX represent a valuable chronicle of wanton and unhinged depravity. Read at your peril.

Mistress M

7 September 2***

I meet Mistress M at a bondage house I have arranged for our meet. It's fully equipped with whips, floggers, restraints, a spanking bench, a fucking bench, a sling and huge wall to ceiling mirrors for us to witness the action. Mistress goes upstairs to get changed. She tells me to put on lingerie and high heels while she's gone. I put on a garter belt and black stockings, nervously clipping the stockings to the garter straps. I pull up my pink floral knickers and pack my heavy-duty, but micro-sized, steel chastity cage into the lacy fabric.

She comes down the narrow stairs, magnificent in thigh high latex boots, tights, leather thong and cut out bra framing her perfect breasts. The coup de grace is the 8-inch dildo hanging from her strap on harness. She stands and watches as I put on 6-inch high heels, struggling with the narrow straps. She gets me to walk up and down, laughing at my robotic gait. I see myself in the floor to ceiling mirror. I could lose a few pounds, but I look quite sexy in my lingerie and heels.

Mistress asks for my make-up bag and finds a red lipstick to apply. "You have no lips,' she says, asking me to pucker up. She paints fake lips on me. Next, she tightens a collar around my neck and makes follow her on all fours into the play space. "Kiss my boots," she orders. I bring my painted lips down to the narrow toe and kiss, moving my lips around the whole foot and then up the calf. "The other one," she orders and I repeat my servitude. I love being here, on my knees my lips pressed against the shiny latex.

She yanks the lead and pulls me up from her boots. She tells me that I am going to suck her cock. I feel the weight of it as she slaps it against my face. She steps away and yanks me toward her. "Reach for it, " she orders. "Are you a dirty cock sucking slut?" she asks. It isn't really a question, more a statement of fact.

"Yes Mistress," I reply.

"I know you are,' she says. "Reach for it," she commands and I do, taking the head of the rubber cock in my mouth, sucking on it like a hungry slut. "That's the way," says M. "You are made for this." She pulls me forward on her cock with the leash. "Take it in your throat," she orders, thrusting forward. I feel the cock hitting the back of my throat and I gag. "I love that," she laughs. "You gagging on cock like a slut. You love sucking cock, don't you? You wish it was a real one don't you? We'll have to organize that."

"Yes Mistress, I love sucking cock so much," I say.

She grabs my hair and shoves the cock in my mouth again, "Take it down your throat," she says again and pushes forward I feel myself swallowing the cock down to the hilt. I'm gagging and spluttering, my eyes watering. I've never taken a dildo this far down my throat before. It feels amazing as she pulls it out, seeming to take forever. "Good boy," she says. "You really are hungry for cock. I'm going to train you to be a proper whore." She pushes it into my slutty mouth again.

"Fuck that's hot," she says, looking in the mirror to the side of us. "I'm going to take a pic." She pulls out while she gets her phone and then shoves the dildo in my mouth as she points her phone to the mirror. "Oh yeah," she says, admiring her handywork. "That's hot."

She yanks me by the leash over to the fucking bench. It's a solid, simple piece of furniture. An upholstered table top, with steps for the knee, so the person doing the fucking can stand comfortably and pound away. I adopt the position, face down, arse up. I know this will be brutal but it's what I crave, what I need. Mistress rummages in her bag of tricks for the weapon of choice, but I can't see what it is. I feel cold steel against my hole. "Hmmh, do you like that?" she says. "Is your ass hungry?"

"Yes Mistress," I say, pushing my ass back against one of my favourite toys. It is a curved anal wand, not especially big - only about 2 fingers thick - but with teardrop shaped bumps that massage the tender hole as she plunges it in my hole. The sensitive flesh of my anus swallows the wand eagerly. "Such a hungry arse," says my Mistress, working it in deeper. I instinctively push back. "Oh hoho," says laughs. "Such a slut. Go on, back up on that steel. Do you like that? Do you like that boi?"

"Oh yes, Mistress," I say pathetically. "I love that in my ass. Keep fucking me in the ass please."

"Time for something bigger," she says. "Are you ready for my cock? Do you want my cock boi?"

"Yes Mistress. Please fuck me Mistress," I plead.

"God I love it when you beg," she says. "But first I have another idea."

I hear her at the toy rack picking something that takes her fancy. She comes around to face me at the bench. She has a flogger in her hand. She brings her strapon cock back to my hungry, desperate mouth as she brings the whip down on my backside. I feel my cock swelling in the cock cage as I suck on the dildo. I'm seriously turned on by this, the cock pushing deep in my mouth and the flogger stinging my ass. I'm gagging and moaning feeling helpless.

She moves back behind me and I feel her push the head of her large cock against my ass. She has loosened me with the steel wand, but I don't feel quite ready for the big strapon dildo. It takes her a bit of maneuvering to find the right angle. A cock never goes into an anus without some pain. Breath is held, teeth are gritted. There is initial pressure when it feels as though it is impossible for the tight hole to stretch around the thick cock, but then it gives and cock slips in. I moan as she pulls out and pushes in again. "Hmmh. Do you like that slut." Ahhh. Not really, not yet. She shoves in hard and it hurts, the cock banging against the prostrate, before I'm properly ready for it. "No," I plead. "That angle hurts."

"It's because you're such a short arse," she says. It's true. My hips need to be higher to be at the right angle for her cock. She takes off her boots so that she is shorter and this works better, though now she is too low. I have the idea of getting the cushions from the lounge to put under my knees and this raises me toward her cock. Now I start to get used to it, my anus taking her cock long and deep, balls deep as she holds my hips, fucking me hard. "Do you like that slut? Do like being fucked like a bitch?"

"I love it mistress. I love being your mindless fucktoy," I say gripping the bench with both hands as she pounds me mercilessly. She grabs my hair again, pulling my head up. "Look at yourself in in the mirror while I'm fucking you,' she says. I look at myself with my beautiful beast of a Mistress behind me. It's an incredible feeling, to be fucked relentlessly in the arse. I can feel her cock deep inside me, hitting the prostrate. She slams the cock in as hard as she can, with huge, powerful all body thrusts, making me gasp. It's a beautiful, exquisite pain - the perfect pleasure.

We have a break and drink Gatorade - red for her, blue for me. After the break she has me kneel on the bondage chair. It is a solid simple piece of furniture, without arms, but pads on the outer edges of the seat. I kneel facing the back of the chair. She has found some nipple claims and tightens them on my nipples. I am a dedicated nipple whore and love the sting of the clamps on the sensitive flesh. She brings her cock back to my slutty mouth. "You will have seen I cleaned this during our break. I want to see you suck it again." She pushes it into my mouth, fucking it hard again, making me gag. This time it's too much and I vomit up the blue Gatorade I just drank. She laughs and says, "Well done, boi." She throws a towel on the floor then heads back over to the toy rack. "I think we need to paddle that ass,"

She comes back with some cuffs for my wrists, but they are a bit loose, so she puts them around the biceps and connects them behind my back. She stands behind me. I can't see what she is doing, or what she is holding. She touches me with the paddle, runs it over my buttocks, taps me with it. Then she strikes, a solid whack. "You say you need more training in impact play?" Again, not really a question. It's true - I haven't had much experience with floggers and paddles. A pro domme whipped me with a dragontail in a hotel in Melbourne once. That was the first time. It was confronting but I didn't beg for mercy, though I think she could tell I wasn't coping. She said I wasn't a masochist because I didn't get a hard on, but is that the test? Then a few weeks ago Mistress K, in a hotel room in Parramatta belted my ass with a paddle I inherited from a former lover. I took it pretty well, though she told me this was only entry level spanking. Later she showed me photos of needles through her tits, to establish her true masochistic credentials.

Mistress M whacks me hard, over and over, occasionally catching the edge of my balls, which causes me to yelp. "You're taking this well, boi," she says. I'm trembling as she continues to whack my ass until she's had her fun. I haven't cried mercy, though. I've taken every blow. She takes off the arm cuffs and comes to the front of the chair, now pushing her ass into my face. "Lick my arse through my thong," she orders. She is wearing a leather thong over tights. I lick at the thong, trying to work my tongue around it. It's hard work but she tells me I am doing a good job. "Let me help you," she says, pulling down the thong and the tights so I can lick her arse. My tongue finds her asshole and I lick hungrily, working as much of my tongue into her anus as I can, tongue fucking her. Her ass tastes amazing - it doesn't even taste like ass and she keeps me there, licking for ages.

"Are you just an ass licking whore?" she asks. Again, not really a question. "Yes Mistress," I say, now using my hands to pull her cheeks apart so I can get my tongue in deeper. "Suck on my asshole," she says. I pucker my lips, sucking and slurping on her hole. "Oh, I like that boi," she says. "I like that a lot."

She keeps me there, sucking, licking and tongue fucking her ass, until my jaw aches and I ask for a break. She pulls her tights and thong up. "Yeah," she says. "I need to fuck you again."

She says she has a plan for me and gets me to position myself in the sling. She pulls my legs up high in the straps that are attached to chains that hang from the ceiling. She rummages in her stuff and pulls out a long bootlace, one you might find in a pair of DocMartins. She unlocks the padlock of the chastity cage and releases my cock. Immediately it starts to harden in her grasp. She wraps the shoelace around the base of my cock, does a loop with one end of the lace around one testicle, pulling tight and then with the other end, the other testicle. With the remaining ends she does another tight loop around the base of my cock and makes a knot.

Now I am hard and throbbing, my cock tied up tight to ensure I remain erect. With my legs spread wide I feel like the desperate slut that I am, desperate to be fucked. She enters me again and I love the feeling as she is soon balls deep, holding my thighs so she can fuck me hard. Now she grabs my cock and starts to stroke me as she pounds. 'Do you want to cum boi? Do you want to cum? Should I let you cum?'

I feel so helpless - I am totally under her control. All I can do is play with my nipples, twisting them hard as she keeps fucking me and working my cock, 'Please let me cum Mistress,' I beg. I am on the brink when she pulls away her hand, grabbing my thighs again so that she can fuck me harder. She is panting and sweating with the exertion - she could not possibly fuck me any harder.

She withdraws and says, 'I want you to masturbate for me slave. I want you to cum for me.' My hand immediately finds my cock and I start to stroke. She comes around the sling, offering me her breast through her cutout bra. This is an honour, a privilege to be permitted to suck her perfect breasts. I eagerly suck as much of her tit as I can fit in my mouth, but she pulls it out. 'Only the nipple, slave,' she orders. I hungrily suck on her nipple and then she changes breasts. Unfortunately the lace around my cock and balls has loosened and I am losing my erection. It's been a torrid session and I feel as though the cock itself is exhausted. I say that I don't think I'll cum today, but she says, 'You're cumming for me bitch. Keep working that cock.'

I keep stroking as she grabs both my nipples and twists them hard, harder than I can twist. I gasp and moan but I luv it and my erection returns. 'You luv that bitch, you luv the pain. That's what turns you on. Cum for me, cum for me.' I finally cum, the intensity almost unbearable.

2 days later I still feel numb, zoned out. 'I can't imagine being fucked any harder,' I say to her in a text. 'Only by something bigger.'

'I wonder if you can take my hold hand?' she replies. 'Ever been fisted?'