Kidnapped by a Stripper

This was the late-90's and I was living in Las Vegas. I (late-20's M) was in the middle of a divorce and wasn't seeing anyone in particular, but was having fun when I could. (Read that as 'I was a hoe as often as was possible.' which wasn't very often... lol)

There was a local 'redneck' joint, off the strip, that was pretty much a 'meat market' for locals who wanted to dance and have fun. If you wanted to get laid and had 'ANY' game at all, you could usually find someone to go home with. I know people from both genders that played the game and most of the time it was good fun had by all. Not much drama just good times.

So, it's early-December and there isn't much going on in town, tourist wise that is. The time between mis-November and Christmas is a 'slow time' for Vegas and the only thing that was going on was usually the National Finals Rodeo (NFR). Which is a HUGE event for 10-12 days in early December. Rodeo people from all over the world would come to town and either watch or participate.

I had a female friend at the time (G) who had her boyfriend (BF) in town from Cali. The 3 of us were hanging out at the 'meat market' getting drunk on Friday night and the bar started a shot special of $1 'Alabama Slammers'.

I pulled a $20 out of my pocket and said 'Hey, BF. Go get us some shots...' and he left with a big smile on his face.

About 5 Min later, BF comes back with A TRAY FULL OF SHOTS!!!! He had added a $20 of his own and we now had 40 shots between the 3 of us... Far be it from me to let cheap shots go to waste, so, we split the shots I got 15, BF got 15, and G got 10. We pounded them. One right after another... It was NOT pleasant... But I endured...

When we get done, I looked at them both and told them I was going to go walk around to settle my stomach and see who all was there.

I walked away and a beautiful woman I've met several times and was bar-friends with walked up and we hugged.

(I say 'bar-friends' because we had never hung out away from the bar. If I don't know your last name, where where you live, what kind of car you drive, or what you do for for a living, your a bar friend)

We'll call her Jewel. Jewel had been a stripper at a few of the high-end clubs in Vegas and was a KNOCKOUT. 5'10". D-DD cup. Cali-Blonde. And in good shape. She didn't dance at the clubs anymore as she said she had built up a private client list and would only do private shows for side money. Cool to me, I was her friend, and she was good people.

Jewel had one of her friends w/ her that I had met once or twice, didn't know well yet. We'll call her Kim. Kim was pretty. She was only about 5' 3" but was a little overweight. I didn't care. Again, these are good people and were 'friends'. I had known that Kim was Bi but it didn't affect me. So, who gives a crap?

Jewel looked at me and said, 'Hey, I have a favor to ask.'

'What's up?'

'Well, I have a bachelor party to dance for in San Diego tomorrow night and I only know like 1 person there. I need someone to 'be my heavy' in case something goes wrong.'

***I'm 6' tall and at the time I went about 230 pounds. Not fat but not bodybuilder either. Just a BIG MF'er that looked intimidating (I guess)***

I was starting to feel my shots and staggered just a little when I said, 'Jewel, I'm so sorry. My Dad is in town, and we have a golf tee time at the DUNES Course on Sunday Morning and those are like $400. Dad got them somehow and I really want to play the course since it's rumored to be going away soon...'

Jewel pouted just a little and said, 'Hey, no problem. I completely understand. I know people who have come to town just to play that course.'

We talked for a little bit, all the while the shots were starting to 'do their thing' and the 'shot-girl' walked by. Jewel flagged her down.

Jewel looked at me and Kim, 'Do you want a shot?' she asked both of us.

'Sure.' I said.

So, the 3 of us take a shot of Jager...

...

That is the last thin I can truly remember about that night...

...

I can feel my body moving around with out me trying to move it. Kind of bouncing a little as I'm laying down...

It's REALLY bright, even with my eyes closed...

My head is about to explode... 'Well... This is it. The hangover that is finally going to kill me...' I'm thinking to myself.

I crack my eyes open and see, through the blur, we'll call my eyesight, w/out my glasses, that I'm in the back of a Jeep Wrangler soft-top and we're not in Vegas anymore...

Like on the highway driving through the desert, NOT IN VEGAS ANYMORE!!!

I look to see who's driving and it's Jewel, w/ Kim in the passenger seat.

I'm struggling,,, I lift up just a hair and ask, 'Where are we?'

Jewel smiles looks in the mirror and says, 'Almost to Barstow...'

I bolt upright, I swear my head exploded and came back together... 'Wait, I said I couldn't go...'

Smiling the girls say, 'That's what you said the first time we asked. We asked about an hour later and you said 'Sure. Why not...'

Well, SHIT...

'Where are my glasses? Did we get my 'Ho Bag' from my truck? Do G & BF know where I am?'

***Ho Bad Definition***

It's a men's 'shaving bag' that has the following in it:

- Contact case and solution

- Toothbrush and toothpaste

- Clean pair of underwear

- Condoms

- and a spare key to my apartment

Jewel and Kim take turns answering, 'Your glasses are in your 'Ho Bag'. And we all told G where we are going.'

'Well, okay... I guess Dad is just going to be pissed then.'

***Cell phones were around but not really EVERYWHERE yet. I didn't have mine anyway. I always left it in the truck when I went to the bar.***

We stopped in Barstow, CA and got something to eat and I needed something to drink. Water, tea, Dr Pepper, anything to try and get some hydration... Did I mention I thought I was dying from my hangover???

We got to the hotel we were going to be staying at in the early afternoon. It was on Mission Beach and wasn't bad. When I say 'on Mission Beach' I mean, we were on the side af the building that faced away from the water. If you walked around to the other side of the building there was a small sidewalk, a 2-foot wall and the sand... That's it... We were as close to the beach as you can get with out a tent.

Jewel went into the bathroom to get showered and ready for her show. Kim started calling some of her friends in SD to see if there was anything going on for after the 'show' was done.

I sat on the couch to try and get the last of the hangover to go away. Motrin, courtesy of my 'hoe bag' and water...

About 20 min later, Jewel steps out of the bathroom drying her hair. I was at the mini-fridge putting waters in and, by shear force of will, preventing my head from exploding... I had heard the bathroom door open and saw movement out of the corner of my eye, but I thought Jewel had a towel on or something and was just drying her hair.

Jewel started asking me a couple of questions, 'Where did Kim go?'

I turned to face her and I see her... NAKED...)She's even more good looking than I thought) toweling off her hair. I turned my head away and started answering, 'Uh, she's outside calling her friends in town.'

'Why is she doing that???'

'I think she's looking for a party or club to go to after your party.' I stammered.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jewel stop drying her hair and was just looking at me, 'What's wrong? Why won't you look at me when you're talking to me?'

I kept looking 'away', I mean I could see her move, but I wasn't looking at her, 'You're naked and you're my friend. I was trying to give you some privacy...'

Jewel laughed, harder than I thought necessary, 'I though EVERYONE had seen me naked.'

I said, 'Nope... Not me.'

Jewel laughed, stopped, realized that she was still standing naked in the room and went back into the bathroom and came out a min later with a towel on to finish getting ready.

Kim comes back in a couple of minuets later and all 3 of us go to the party. I stood just outside the door to the room in the suite that the party was in and had my back turned while she was doing her thing. As her show ended the 'one guy' she knew from the group (and had paid for the show) said he was going to take us to dinner and then we could go out on the town.

Sweet. I had like $20 in my pocket and my ATM card was in my truck... In Vegas...

We went to big-ass sushi place and ate. The sushi was being made along the entire back wall of the place... I felt like it was the size of a Vegas 'buffet' but it was 90% sushi...

After that, we went to a strip club that was called 'Pure Platinum'. Nice place. I tried to buy a round w/ my last few bucks, but our 'host' wasn't having any of it. So, I drank for free. I didn't take advantage, did I mention I had a hangover from the night before? But, I did have a few.

***Side quest story***

I wore black framed glasses at that time and had been told I resembled Drew Carey from his sit-com days. So, I go outside to have a smoke and a limo pulls up. The back window rolled down and this guy starts yelling, 'Hey, Drew (Carey). Man, I haven't seen you in ages. 'So and so' is having a party and wants us all to come.'

Me: 'I'm not Drew Carey.'

Guy: 'Come on Drew, let's go. It'll be a blast.'

Me: 'Dude, I'm not Drew Carey.'

Guy: 'FUCK YOU DREW... YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN A PRICK. Driver, let's go...'

I just felt bad for Drew if that guy actually ran into him again. lol

***End Side Quest***

He pays for lap dances for all of us...

Kim's girl takes her over to the couch area, and they're gone for about 15-20 min. I stayed at the table and got a dance from a woman that resembled Drew Barrymore in the mid-90's. She was my celebrity crush and I was REALLY enjoying the fantasy.

I'm not sure what time it was when we get back to the hotel, but it was sometime after midnight. I take 800mg of Motrin and down a bottle of water, because I know Sunday morning is going to hurt like hell... AGAIN. Why am I so stupid???

I laid down on the fold out couch in the 'living room', turn on the tv for background noise and pass the fuck out...

The next morning, I wake up and stumble to the bathroom.

When I come out, Jewel says, 'You messed up last night...'

Immediately, I start running over the night before... Everything was cool, and I actually remember laying down to go to sleep...

Confused I say, 'Wait, what did I do? I think I remember everything from last night...'

Jewel looks at Kim and they are both smiling...

Jewel started, 'Well, when we got back last night...'

Kim continues, 'We got horny...'

'So, we walked into the room there to get you, but...'

'You were already snoring...'

My 'ghast' was 'flabbered', 'Well, SHIT!!! I'm awake NOW!!!!'

Jewel smirked, 'Nah... The moments past. No backsies...'

And both girls start giggling...

I'm dumbfounded and just the tiniest bit pissed... But I really hadn't expected anything so nothing was lost. Just bad timing... LOL There's always the hope of 'tomorrow' whenever that may be.

***Aftermath***

I did end up getting back to Vegas on Sunday Eve. I called Dad as soon as I got to my phone to tell him how sorry I was that I missed out Tee time. Dad laughed and said it was no big deal, he had gotten too drunk on Saturday night and slept through too. It was no big deal, because someone had given him Tee Time as a gift anyway, so he wasn't out any money either...

He did ask why I missed it. I just told him I had to make an 'unscheduled' run to San Diego, and I'd tell him about it another time.

He laughed and said, 'Sometimes the 'unscheduled' trips are the best ones.'

Thanks for reading.