Math and Cigarettes Pt. 01

My name is Vanessa, and I am 19 years old right now and this is my story.

I was decent at school, not a smart-ass, but in the upper middle grades for most subjects. I had some trouble with maths and science, but my grades in languages were making up for it. Since I was not actively bullied, but ignored for the most part, I was the weird quiet girl, that also guys were not really interested in. Maybe I gave this sort of vibe, that I am unapproachable.

As the final year approached, some of us were having a tougher and tougher time with the stuff, we were not particularly good at, and for some reason, one of the quiet boys in my class messaged me and asked if he could help me with the subjects I struggled with. His name was Tom who was 19, just like me, and Tom and I never really talked before, despite being in the same class for many years. It was summer and my mum wanted to go on holiday, I was then alone for 2 weeks, so I thought, why not invite him. And that I did, I gave him my address, and told him to come over on that Thursday.

He was a real nerd, I knew that, but he was the shy and quiet type, deep waters stereotype I guess. He came over, wearing a black band shirt, and shorts, a casual look, since it was summer and warm outside. It was really awkward at first, there was some awkward silence at the start, but after having some water and walking into my room with him, things were getting a little easier, at least for me, it seemed like they were.

To make things a little easier, I offered to sit on my large bed, with our books and blocks in our laps. We went through some of the stuff we recently did at maths, and none of it clicked, but Tom was eager to help me understand it. Oddly enough, even though I was quite dense and not understanding much of what he tried to explain. I really tried, and it slowly started to click, he was passionate about the topic, and it seemed liked he really wanted me to also understand it. He even said, he wanted nothing in return. He was my private tutor, which I really enjoyed. Tom wasn't flirty, just nice and focused on the topic.

We went through our assigned homework together, and we finished the tasks, and I felt like I really understood what we were doing. It was a great feeling for me, I have not felt in quite some time. I was wearing a crop top and denim shorts, nothing particularly sexy, just a regular outfit. It never felt like he had been staring at me in a weird way, and the initial awkwardness had been fading away. I think my little icebreaker:

"Hey, I thought we had done quite a lot already, and I could use a break, is it okay if I go for a smoke real quick, and we pick it back up here then?"

He was a little nervous, I could see it in his eyes, the way he looked at me when I got up.

"Yes of course, you can go, I don't mind... but it will be awkward waiting here for you, can I come with you, even if I do not smoke?"

He had a point, and it was kind of cute the way he said it and I agreed, of course. We moved outside, onto the patio, a small round table between us. The wind was kind enough to come from a direction that would not blow the smoke towards him, as I just lit up with a few clicks of the lighter, shielding the flame against the little breeze. Just after taking a long drag, inhaled deeply, I let out a relaxed sigh as I exhaled.

"Oh this really feels good"

I said with a smile and then looked at him, and he was seemingly frozen, he looked back at me, but he averted his eyes quickly, with a little "Sorry...". Which confused me, so I took another relaxed drag, wondering if he will tell me or not. I felt really relaxed, I got a fix for my little bad habit and addiction. I could sense that something was different now, but I was unable to say what. But he looked at me again, this time more focused on my face, when his eyes were looking at my hand previously.

"I am sorry, but I have to tell you, that you look beautiful when you do that..." he admitted nervously, and I was a little irritated at first and went:

"Smoking?" with a big question mark on my face, unsure what he meant. It was odd, since anyone around me usually reacts with disgust when I smoked. Smoking was not common any longer, it was frowned upon, which I understood, but I still did it. It helped me and I never put much thought into the side effects, since to me, it was a net positive.

He nodded shyly, and it made me smile, since it was kinda sweet, I had no idea what his actual feelings about it were, but I was glad that was something positive. But it made it a little awkward for me, since I know that he was watching me, intentionally, but I was not doing anything different from previously. Slowly bringing the orange filter to my lips, wrapping them around the filter, slowly removing my hand from my mouth as I hollowed my cheeks to suck the smoke into my mouth. My hand moves back to clamp the cigarette between my index and middle finger at the filter, pulling it out between my lips. Some of the creamy white smoke escaped before it was sucked back into my slightly parted lips. I take a deep breath, sucking in the smoke along with some fresh air. I was slightly turned to the side from his view, so I was not facing or looking at him. After keeping the smoke in for a few moments, I slowly exhaled the white smoke from my lips.

Even if I did not look at him, I could feel that he was watching me. But not in just watching me, he looked at me in a certain way. I was aware that here were some guys into girls feet. I had come in contact with that before, Tom did not look down, he looked at my hand and my face, and so I became curious.

"Does my smoking turn you on by chance, Tom?" I asked him, not with a dismissive look, but rather neutral, not judging.

"Y-y-yes... but please don't kick me out, I can't help myself, you are really beautiful, and it looks really elegant and cool on you.... Don't worry, I will not do anything silly now because of that" he defended himself, even if I did not even imply anything like that.

I was silent for a few moments, taking another smaller drag this time. "I will not kick you out, no, you are very respectful, and you really helped me with the homework and stuff. And as far as I can tell, you are a good buy, as long as you are being honest about your feelings and intentions, I will not really feel bothered." I replied with a little smirk.

I wondered if it was a fetish. It seemed like it, but I had never heard about it before. I had heard the more common things, but this was new for me. Not necessarily in bad way. The way he was shifting in the chair, as I watched him, I could tell that he was hard in his pants, and it was really awkward for him, but I started to enjoy teasing him, since he tried to hide it.

"I will not lie to you Vanessa... yes, watching you turns me on, it is the first time I see you do it..." he admitted, and I was unsure what to make out of it. I was silent for a few moments, since it was so awkward for him. I started to enjoy it more and more, since he tried to be polite and nice, with a raging boner in his pants, unable to do anything. The silence was more challenging for him than for me, observing him in the chair, seeing his eyes wander to my face, following my hand and the cigarette between my fingers. "... I...." he started

"I offered my help to help you with science... so I get a chance to watch you.... But you are really kind, and I feel bad for being turned on and wanting to watch you, on the premise of helping you with homework and stuff...."

He stammered a little more as I brought the cigarette back to my mouth once more. I felt like I was in control, and it was something new for me, most of the time I felt like I was the one that was having no control over anything. It was empowering and that was also reflected in my reply: "Okay Tom, I understand you firstly, I appreciate that you want to help me and that you want nothing in return. Well the nothing in return is a little misleading, because you are getting something in return right now. But you know what, yeah you are a pervert, but that is not bothering me, as long as you keep your hands to yourself. If that is all you want in return, is watching me smoke while we study, I am fine with that. As long as you respect my boundaries, we are good..." I flashed him a big warm smile.

Taking a few more drags, as I was finishing my cigarette, I put it out in the ashtray and stood up. I took a step forward to see his boner when he gets up. It was really satisfying for me and he awkwardly got up, with a very visible tent in his pants, that caused me to let out a giggle.

"I am unsure if you can even focus on studying any more with that boner..." I teased him a little more, and he followed me back inside.

"Maybe you are right, and I should go back..." he replied, a little defeat in his voice, but he gave me a shy smile. I watched him try and hide the boner while he picked up his stuff.

"You know this was kinda cute, the way you behaved now, that you were shy about your boner. But since my mum is on holiday, you could come over again tomorrow if you like."

His eyes widened "Oh really? You want to see me again.... Okay...." he replied, flustered and seemingly caught off guard. "I did not expect that...." he added. His mind was all over the place and I reached for his phone and handed it to him, since he forgot to pick it up by himself "Don't forget this..." I purred sweetly back at him.

After he left, I kept thinking about him, not negatively, but more in a curious and interesting kind of way. It never occurred to me that I might have been into teasing guys like him. It felt like bullying, where I was usually on the receiving end. It was an odd feeling, knowing that I turn him on in a certain way, being in control of him and some of his feelings.

The way it had made me feel, so empowered and in control of the situation, gave me a rush, a weird sense of excitement, that I wanted to feel again. My only worry was, if what I was doing was exploitation. It felt like I was taking advantage of him? But was I really? No, he had been the one that approached me, it cancelled out at worst. I get better grades and some assistance with the subjects I am not good at, and he... well, probably something as well, for himself, I am sure he is happy with the exchange.

Since the whole thing did not fade from my thoughts, I did some research on the topic, of what men that were into this kind of thing liked about it and what other things they also liked. I was obsessed with wanting to understand what this was about and what more is out there.

Female domination, or femdom for short, was seemingly the general term for what this was about. The woman made the rules and the men follow those rules, it was like switching things around and thinking about "What else is he going to do for me?" was a reoccurring thought throughout the evening. I was not thinking about anything sexual in particular, but if he was helping me with the homework and preparing for the exams, spending his time on me, there might be some more things he would do. We were both students after all and while talking I found out that he has no car or license either, so driving me around to the manga and book stores in the city was not working, but I was confident that talking to him about this thing, with a little more preparation was going to be more fun, since I am more aware of potential scenarios and potentially things that might already have been on his mind. It was clear to me that he had been a submissive, and for me that had been a positive thing. It made me feel safe, since he would follow my rules and respect my boundaries.