Isekai-ed 01

Isekai-ed 01

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I sat sitting on my feet as I looked around seeing nothing but a bright white atmosphere.

I would have said light but I could see and I wasn't blinded.   I was just surrounded by absolute nothing.

Well not 'NOTHING' as in front of me was a large stone slate that was roughly six or seven feet and looked to be polished almost as if it were a mirror.

I didn't bother touching the slate slab in front of me not because I was scared of it.

Mainly, I was wondering where in the hell I was.

I looked down at myself seeing my weathered callused hands, my pudgy gut and my tattooed arms.   I felt at my face feeling my beard and facial structure before feeling my hair as I confirmed both I wasn't dreaming and that I was where I was almost like I pinched myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

Then I wondered HOW I got here but for some odd reason I couldn't put two and two together as the reason why I'm here.

Then I wondered WHO I was and instantly knew my name, my age, and everything else about me.... except HOW I got here.

After ALL of that, AND basically sitting in this nothingness for what felt like forever my curiosity got the best of me as I looked around and spoke, "Hello?"

The moment I spoke I heard a multi-vocal voice as if multiple voices were speaking all at once, some were very deep almost like they were using gravel as vocal cords and some were the highest pitch as if they were permanently speaking with helium in their lungs and every octave in between as they all spoke at once, "Ah, Mr. Allen Potti.   I see you have entered my realm just nicely.   Are you comfortable?"

The voice spoke as if they were all around me and at the same time in front of me.

I wildly looked around trying to figure out exactly WHERE the voice was coming from, "Huh?"  When I couldn't find the person I added wildly, "Where are you?"

The multitoned voice laughed, "Ah, yes.   I'm SO sorry about that.   Here let me adjust that."

Just then a figure sat across from me across the large slab as the reflection from the slab also reflected off the slab towards me.

I nearly jumped because I wasn't expecting.... well THAT.

The figure that now sat across from me was complete void of anything other than appearing in colorless and lack of anything other than being a.... well, being.

There wasn't any color to the figure showing off some type of distinction like clothing or facial features or body type that I couldn't discern anything.

The ONLY thing I could discern was that the figure had pearly white teeth that matching the pure white surrounding and deep yellow and red eyes.

It was almost like the being was a shadow.... a grey shadow.

I blinked and then rubbed at my eyes to make sure I wasn't going crazy before I looked again to make sure I saw what I saw.

Then I spoke semi hollowly and feeling my fear creep up, "W-who are you?"  I made a connection thanks to the grey shadow and yellow/red eyes looking at me that was EXTREMELY creepy,   "Are you L-Lucifer?"  I wildly looked around again trying to see if there was fire and brimstone.

The figure looked down at itself before looking at me and quickly spoke in it's multitoned voice, "Shoot!"  It held up a shadowy appendage, "Hold on."

Just then the shadowy figure vibrated and shimmered before a humanish figure replaced the shadowy figure as HE now stood in a gray suit with gray tie, button up shirt, coat, and pants.   The figure's face looked bland as if his face and everything was in a gray tone.   

He smiled his white teeth showing the only things that weren't gray was his teeth and eyes that remained to be yellow and red, "There!   Is that better?"

I was still scared as I stuttered, "N-no."

The gray figure laughed before HE spoke, "I'm Apate and I'll be taking care of your case today."

Now that I knew his name, which I didn't believe was his name because it sounded made up, but I still spoke, "Case?"

Apate looked at me with a smile, "Your death, of course."

I looked at him, "So I did die?"

Apate nodded, "Appears so."  Apate held up his hand as a binder materialized in his gray hand, "Let's see how you died, shall we?"

He set the binder down and opened it as he started reading what was in front of him for a moment before he started to giggle.   

I immediately blurted, "What?"

He held up his hand stalling my inquiry as he continued reading as he laughed again..... and again..... and started to chortle as he held his hand to his mouth before he finally got to end.   He looked at me as he set down my file as he spoke, "Now it makes sense why you're here."

I frantically spoke, "How'd I die?"

Apate smiled, "You fell from your second story home trying to clean the gutters."

I frowned, "Oh...." I sighed, "That kind of sucks."

Apate added, "Then your ladder fell and landed on your face splitting it open."

I looked at him quizzically, "So I died from blood loss?"

Apate continued, "That your neighbor saw while mowing his lawn so he rushed and used his shirt as a truncate and your wife called 911."

I looked at him as he continued, "Paramedics made it on the scene in time and were able to stop the bleeding.   They pumped you with drugs to put you to sleep and slow the bleeding before start rushing you to a hospital."

I spoke quizzically, "So how did I die?"

Apate smiled, "Apparently the final blow was a criminal was evading police as the ambulance was trying to take you to the hospital.   The criminal, a Thomas O'Malley, t boned the ambulance causing it to flip multiple times before it came to a stop.   Police were able to rescue the Paramedics but not in time for the oxygen tank to explode next to your unconscious body splitting it into pieces along with the vehicle."

I blurted, "Well that sucks."

Apate spoke, "And seeing how you weren't supposed to die for another 45 years at the ripe age of 87 explains why you're sitting in front of me."

I looked at him, "So what does that mean?"

Apate smirked, "It means that I'm going to send you back."

I blinked, being excited, "You are?"

Apate nodded, "That's right."  He shrugged, "Granted I can't send you back to your old body because it's in pieces.   And I can't send you back to your original world.   So I'll be sending you back to another world that is much like your old world aside for minor almost small differences."

I looked at him quizzically, "So a world with like magic?   Elves?"

Apate blinked, "What?   No."

I frowned feeling a little bummed before I spoke, "So how does this work then?"

Apate waved his hand and I blinked as a couple of dozen cards appeared on the polished mirror like slab of stone.   Apate spoke, "Now you choose a card that'll tell me what and how to send you into your new life."

I looked at the cards for a moment before I looked at Apate, "Really?   Tarot cards?"

Apate chuckled, "I know it sounds weird but trust me those cards in front of you have specific instructions with their own boons and gifts that tell me how to send you down.   Only one will call out to you."  He smiled as he looked down seeming excited, "Go on give it a shot."

I sighed as I looked down just looking at the cards for a moment before blinking as I started to hear singing coming from each card trying to call to me.   

There was a card that I swear sounded like opera and another that sounded like gospel.   Each card started to beg me to flip them.   

Each card were whispering things like 'Choose me you'll love my life', 'No, choose me I can give you power', 'I offer an easy life', 'I offer a rewarding life'.

Each card was singing in a different style and saying different things begging me to choose them.  

It was almost deafening hearing each card singing to me begging to be chosen.... except one.   

One card was void of singing or begging as it remained mute.   

I started to reach for the mute card curious as to why it was remaining mute not saying a single thing.   It was like the quietness called to me in a different light.   

It was like it was silently saying 'Choose them if you wish but I am the obvious choice'.

I started to hear the other cards beg me to not reach for the card I was reaching for and to reach it instead.   

It was maddening as each card got louder and louder the closer my hand got to the mute card until I finally touched the mute card.   

I was going to flip it but it glowed a light green causing me to flinch enough to jerk my hand away.   The card immediately flew up and showed a skeleton figure wearing expensive jewelry in a relaxed pose.   

Then the card glowed a golden hue that grew brighter and brighter making it's presence known causing the remaining cards to shrill almost in pain as they all cried one word 'Nooooooo!!!!' before they disappear in a wisp of smoke.   

I looked up at Apate who was blinking in shock seeing the card floating up as I heard him softly mutter, "Can't be...."

I spoke, sounding nervous, "What?   Is the skeleton bad?   Do I not get another life?"

Apate blinked a few times obviously getting over his shock before he looked at me with his yellow red eyes, "It means we're going to be here a while before I send you down to your new life."