My First Time In a Diaper (EN) Pt. 02

Quick note for the second part: This part may not be a real "fetish story" for some. It is more or less an explanation / continuation of the story. Only in the next and at least last part of my vacation story, it will be more explicit and more about the actual diaper fetish. Please understand, as I said before, my first three stories about the vacation and my first points of contact are stories and I have not/will not invent anything extra. Depending on how I have the courage and desire, I will tell more stories from the near past or perhaps write fantasies or completely fictional stories. Thank you for your comments on the first part, you are also welcome to write me your opinion on this topic. That would help me a lot.

Now the interim story and continuation in the changing room:

So we stood in this changing room. Hugging each other tightly, he gave me a feeling of security and affection like never before. Perhaps it was a mixture of embarrassment and excitement at the same time. He gently released himself from my clasp. Then Timo just stood there. In the middle of the room. Not with disgust. Not with a silly remark. But simply there. With this calm look that told me: I'm staying, I love you. He gently lifted me up onto the couch. At least one advantage of my flyweight. The changing room smelled of powder and plastic. Clinical. But also somehow like babies and safety. I sat on the soft lounger, my face in my hands. I couldn't look at him. Not like this. Not now.

"Franka," Timo said softly, and I heard him lock the door. He was so gentle. No mocking tone, no laughter - just this warm calm that I usually loved about him when I fell asleep in his arms at night. "I'll help you, okay?"

I just nodded. My voice was gone.

I felt his hands very carefully slipping down my leggings. No pressure, no hesitation - just consideration. I had the feeling that he would prefer not to touch me at all if I didn't want him to. But I let him. Because I didn't want to be alone. Because I trusted him. And because I needed his warmth more than anything. He pulled his pants down slowly, piece by piece, and I averted my eyes, biting my lip. I was so ashamed - but his hands weren't shaking. He was careful, almost reverent. As if I were made of glass. I let myself fall back onto the lounger. My nipples were clearly visible from my shirt. I hoped he didn't notice. Or at least didn't say anything... Embarrassed, I "inconspicuously" put my arm over my bust.

He confidently opened the diaper fastener. The cool air tickled me. I lost the feeling of security and the tightness of the diaper. I was wet from my pee. But I could feel my "other wet one" very clearly. He wiped the affected areas clean with a damp cloth, gently, without a word. The touch was almost tender, but quite purposeful. And yet: shame, relief and... a strange feeling of Security and excitement. My pussy had turned red. Because of the diaper? Because of the coolness? Or because of my arousal? I could see in his eyes that he noticed how my slimy pussy was pulling strings in his wet wipes. I wanted to sink into the floor. But I lay here and let my boyfriend clean me up down there... I was now so horny from his touch, I would have wanted to finger myself directly or, best of all, feel him inside me... But there were too many feelings at once.

It was also the wrong time to think about it. Let alone follow these feelings. We both knew that. I think he thought (and he was absolutely right) that I wouldn't be able to control my feelings and would do things that we might regret later... He's a pretty cautious... Foresighted guy.

"I've got your change of clothes with me in our swim bag," he broke the silence between us and tried to cheer me up and take my mind off things. He held out a fresh pair of shorts and a pair of hipster panties. He always had a change of clothes for me when we were out and about, just in case. Like my mother, who always made sure I packed everything I needed. "Do I have to help you with that too?..." More of a rhetorical question, but he helped me up again so that I was sitting on the edge of the couch like before. He helped me get dressed, first my underwear, then my pants. He had my legs threaded and then left the actual dressing to me. I let him do it. All of it. I had to slide my bottom back and forth to put the clothes on while sitting down. It would have been easier to put them on myself standing up. But my legs felt really soft. I remained seated in silence. Like a caring dad, he sat down next to me, took my hand and just said: "Are you ok? We can just pretend this never happened..." We both fell silent again and I nodded, even smiling. But I didn't want to forget it. We walked out of the changing room, a mother and child looked at us, but we didn't care at the moment. My mind was somewhere else entirely...

We were sitting in the car dressed again. Shorts, shirt, bra - all normal clothes. And yet for...

We were sitting in the car dressed again. Shorts, shirt, bra - all normal clothes. And yet nothing about it felt normal. The fabric on my skin was suddenly strange, too tight, too right. I was still soft inside. I didn't say anything. Neither did Timo. The silence between us wasn't awkward, but it was strange. He generally spoke less... But now I was the reason. As if words had no place in what had just happened.

I leaned against the side window, feeling my breath misting up. My heart was still beating too fast, and something vibrated deep in my stomach. A mixture of shame, excitement, confusion. And yet... I didn't feel bad. Just tender. Permeable. Somehow bare.

It wasn't long to the chalet. His audio book filled the silence. When we arrived and Timo had unlocked the door, I almost fled to the bathroom. I needed distance. Not from him. From me. Besides, I had to go again. Well, a little... I undressed, piece by piece. My shorts were sticking slightly to my thighs, as if they had absorbed my insecurity. I carelessly dropped them on the floor. My panties were wet. From sweat. Well, mostly, anyway. I quickly took off my shirt and bra and got into the shower. I had apparently forgotten that I had to go to the loo. Timo shouted through the house that he wanted to unpack for me and that he wanted to take a shower later. I Turn on the water. Carefully at first, then warmer, until steam slowly fogs up the mirror. As I step under the jet of water, my neck and back run hot and I take a deep breath. The day has been long, my head full, my body somehow heavy and awake at the same time. I close my eyes, lean my forehead against the cool wall and let the water run over me. It feels good. Cleansing, calming. My breathing changes. Maybe it's the moment of calm. Maybe the knowledge that Timo is behind the door - so close, and yet just far enough away. The events of today... I put my arms around myself, sway a little, feel myself. Now that the water was running, I realized how I had to... I don't think peeing in the shower is so strange. At least I've done it from time to time if I'm honest. I think a lot of women do it. I let it go. Actually, it was always just relief like in the bathroom... never excitement. My heart beats a little faster without me being able to control it. I carefully reach for the shower head, adjust the jet a little finer, guide it first over my shoulders, then lower. I feel my way in, letting the sensation grow slowly. I used to do this a lot... when I didn't have a boyfriend or toys. When I wasn't so... "active". Well It wasn't that long ago. I'm a late bloomer. My best friend showed me very early on. But I didn't do anything like that for a long time... even when Timo came along. I turned the jet on. I held it between my legs. The jet immediately tickled my labia and clitoris. I had to imagine Timo squatting there. I bit my lip, opened my eyes for a moment and saw my own view in the steamy mirror - blurry, soft. I came, as if in waves. One orgasm after another. My legs trembled from the orgasm. No, my whole body was shaking. I switched back to "normal" and stood motionless in the shower... Until there was a knock and Timo entered. I don't know how long I just stood there. Almost as if I had been caught, the blood rushed to my cheeks and I covered my breasts and put my hand between my legs. What nonsense... At the beginning of our relationship, we (especially he) were very careful that this didn't happen to us and that it didn't have to be embarrassing. Now we've had sex before and he knew my body. It was more him who still found it "funny" sometimes. I often even made fun of it at home. Through him, I learned to love my body the way it was....

"Sorry... you took so long, I wanted to see if everything was okay with you..." he stammered because he must have noticed how I reacted. Even irritated by my reaction, I got out of the shower and hugged him. I was stark naked and still very wet, but I didn't care. Now he looked rather puzzled. It was a funny situation too. His wet, naked girlfriend hugging him in his clothes. Well, he wanted to take a shower anyway.

I grabbed a towel and went back into the bedroom: "I'll get ready for bed..." It sounded to my ears like more than I wanted. But we were both too exhausted, especially him after the car ride, that we wanted to do something "more" today. I just put on an old sleep shirt and a pair of briefs. I threw myself on my side and buried my head in the big pillow. Timo was much quicker than me. When he came out, I already had my eyes closed. He crawled quietly under the covers. Close enough for me to feel him. But I didn't touch him. My heart was still pounding. I was so awake. And tired at the same time. I must have fallen asleep straight away.

I woke up in the middle of the night. My bladder was squeezing. I turned over to Timo. He was lying there, sleeping like a rock. There was that feeling from the ride again. The excitement of holding and then releasing my pee into the diaper. I got really hot. I wondered whether I should go or stay. What did I expect from it? - A few years ago, when we had only been together for a year and had slept together in the same bed for the first time. I was always so excited that my bladder went crazy. Then one day I had the misfortune...

I don't know why I did it today. Maybe because everything was so intense. Maybe because I wanted to show him the depths in which I barely understood myself. I lay there, not moving. And at some point, very quietly and secretly, I let it happen.

I relaxed. Very consciously. Quite deliberately. A trembling breath. A wave that came - not wet, but warm. I felt it spreading, felt my whole body wanting to push against it. But I let it happen. And as I lay there, still, breathing haltingly, goose bumps ran all over my back. I had to stifle a moan... Was he awake? No, Timo was still lying next to me like a stone. Excitement, relief... But what really hit me wasn't the heat - it was the feeling. This strange mixture of loss of control and control. I had chosen it. I had shown myself. Maybe not out loud. But real. I felt... alive. And - hard to believe - erotic. Not because it was "forbidden". But... well, maybe a little. But I enjoyed the feeling.

At some point I fell asleep again, with a faint trembling in my stomach. Maybe it was excitement. Maybe fear. Maybe... both.

The next morning, a touch woke me up. Very gently. Just his fingers stroking my hair.

"Franka...? Wake up, sweetie."

I blinked, saw him. He was close to me. The light fell softly on his face. He was smiling. And I smiled back - automatically. Sometimes he was just too sweet... Everything was fine for a moment. Then it shot hot into my face. The memory. The night. What I had done. I averted my eyes. Had I made a mistake that night? Was he ruining that moment now? Somehow, yes...

"Good morning," I mumbled.

"Sleep well?"

I nodded. But my voice failed me when I tried to say yes. I just got up, almost too hastily. In the bathroom, I ran cold water over my wrists. My face was bright red. I took a long breath in, then out. I didn't know if he had noticed anything. And if he had - what would he think? No, I was sure he had noticed. I didn't have to fool myself.

When I came back, my blanket was airing out on the terrace and the breakfast table had already been set. The rolls were sliced, jam and butter next to each other, two coffee cups. He looked up and smiled. "I hope you like apricot. I'm afraid I picked up the wrong one." He tried to play down the situation for me.

"I like it," I said quietly. We ate breakfast in a silence that wasn't empty. It was careful, almost tender. He didn't ask anything. But he looked at me sometimes, a little longer, a little warmer. And the feeling grew in me that perhaps he had understood more than I thought. We had to talk about something.

He broke the silence on the subject with: "Franka...? Did you bring your Always?"

I replied with a slight blush: "Mhmm..."

"It's not the first time for me... It's not that bad. We'll have a nice vacation..." His words were somehow comforting. But I had done it on purpose... Better to get off the subject, so we discussed what we had to do on the first day.

Later, we went shopping. It was almost liberating. Between shelves full of cereals and pasta sauces, I briefly forgot how much I had questioned myself. I laughed when Timo packed too much chocolate. We teased each other, pushing the trolley around. I knew he was only buying the chocolate for me... He didn't even like it anymore. Pseudo-counseling, I always stood next to him to annoy him (:

I left him alone in the supermarket. He was the cook and I had another destination... The drugstore directly opposite. I was like in another world. A girl's dream. Lipsticks, creams, glitter powder. I tried a shimmer eyeshadow on the back of my hand and grinned. Timo always thinks I look so beautiful without make-up. But sometimes it was like an urge... Just a woman's thing... I walked on through the store until I reached the baby department. Diapers, baby powder... The sight intensified the feelings I had been trying to suppress since yesterday. I was torn. Buying diapers in a public store? The thought alone made me feel sick. With shame. As I stood there staring at the Pampers on the shelf, an employee approached and asked: "Can I help you? What are you looking for?"

I stood in front of her, bright red. That was just what I needed. She wasn't much older than me, although I also look very young for my age. That didn't make her situation any better. I had to say something to her: "I... I should go and buy diapers for my little sister." Fortunately, the employee believed me. At least she didn't ask any more questions and showed me the selection of Pampers. She left and I reached for the larger Dry Nights diapers that I had worn during my particularly bad phase as a teenager. The sooner I was out of here, the better. Before more people saw me. I grabbed two more loose medical diapers "for a trial price" and took a pacifier pack, bottle and baby food with me on the way to the checkout. I wanted to maintain my cover in case the young lady saw me again. But there was an older one at the till. I had already put words together in my head, but forgot them straight away. She cashed in without even looking and I stormed out. To the car. Timo wasn't there yet. So I put the bag in the rear footwell so he wouldn't have to see it directly.

Timo arrived with two more shopping bags. "I've half refitted the kitchen." I grinned. "You should never let boys shop alone."

"Ey, that was a gourmet move. I bought everything for your favorite pasta."

"You're the best." I gave him a tender kiss on the cheek as he stowed everything in the trunk. An honest one. I know why I love this guy so much. We laughed. And for a moment I felt light again.

Back at the chalet, we only put things away roughly. We wanted to eat later. The sun was slanting over the window and I just wanted to... come down. "Movie?" I asked.

He nodded. "Or two." as he looked at his watch.

"Or three," I mumbled. I love watching movies with him. Even if he sometimes wanted to leave during my movies... he found them so "girly".

"Will you bring the chips?" he asked. "Then I'll get the projector out of the car..."

I hesitated. "I'll... get it... I want something from the car for a minute anyway, okay?"

I walked out alone. My heart immediately started beating faster when I opened the door. The bag was there. On the other seat... the projector. That damn mixture of childish and charged, of memory and desire. I breathed in. Then I took the bag. I felt... strangely naked, even though I was fully clothed. When I came back in, Timo was sitting on the sofa. He had put the laptop on the coffee table and plugged in the HDMI cable. The remote control was next to him.

I stood there quietly. Hesitated. Then he turned around. His eyes fell on the bag in my hand. The projector in the other.

"Oh - is that something from the shopping?" He only looked at me briefly. He took the projector from me. Then he turned back to the laptop. I opened my mouth. Closed it again.

"Timo..." I said quietly. My voice was brittle. He turned back to me.

I stepped closer, put the bag down, almost apologetically.

"I... I don't know what you're thinking. About yesterday. Or tonight. Or... anything at all. I don't understand myself sometimes. And yet... it was all somehow right. Even if it was weird. Or weird. I sometimes feel like... an alien version of myself."

His gaze was calm. He didn't say anything. He just stood up and came over to me. I continued, trembling a little: "I was afraid it might break something. Or... push you away. Or that you'd think I wasn't quite... normal. Although you like that too,,," Then, very quietly: "But it was so real. And I don't want it to break us." He took my hand. Warm. Safe.

"Franka," he said. "You don't have to explain to me how you feel. You can feel everything. And I... am here. I know what it's like. I thought you needed time or you wouldn't like it."

I couldn't say anything. Just nod. Then he hugged me. For a long time.

"Tell me," I began hesitantly, "can I ask you something? But honestly, okay?" There was no worse way to break this hug and silence, was there?

Timo turned his head slightly towards me, his arm loosely around my waist. I hesitated briefly, then grinned sheepishly. What would you do now?"

He started to explain a little, as he had when he confessed: "It's not something I need all the time. But there are moments... when you realize that you long for it. For security, for a kind of falling back. I know it might sound weird. But it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with sex. Sometimes it's just that feeling of being allowed to be small. Vulnerable. Cared for. And yes... sometimes also experiencing it physically. The desire and the feelings are different to sex. Not better or worse... Just different."

I listened to him carefully. Somehow that's what I wanted to hear. I felt the warmth of his voice, the sincerity in it. No shame, but no pressure either. I was his first girlfriend and he often didn't feel much desire for the kind of physical closeness that many women my age tended to want. Sex. God knows I'm not permanently horny or "needy". But he is extremely 'closed off'. When he kissed me, it was special, but it also made a kiss from him so incredibly meaningful and great. A part that I have to admit I didn't fully understand during the course of our relationship. I thought everyone often wanted sex and physical closeness...

"And you?" he asked cautiously. "How does that make you feel right now?"

I thought about what I should say to him. And how? "To be honest... I'd like to do it again... With you." I looked at him with wide eyes.

He looked at me too, and I could feel how much those words meant to him. It was as if he had opened up his very small, protected part of himself - and I was allowed in. There was still a spark of that fear that I would overreach myself. Then I grabbed his bottom and gently guided him over to the sofa. This time I lay down myself and stretched my feet out towards him. Invitingly. He took the bag and a towel and knelt down in front of me. His head almost between my legs. Timo knelt next to me. His gaze was watchful, questioning - he sensed my slight tension.

"If you hesitate for even the slightest moment, you tell me, okay? We don't have to do anything. Especially right now!"

I nodded. "I will... I trust you honey."

He smiled, warmly, carefully. Then he picked up the diaper. It looked softer than I remembered. Almost like something for a nest, not for adulthood.

I felt my breathing become shallower as he slowly unfolded it. My heart beat audibly. But not from fear - more from this strange feeling of allowing something to happen that I would never have allowed myself. Timo spoke softly to me as he explained each step. He was tender, focused, empathetic - like someone who doesn't 'do' something, but holds a space. Undressed me and as he slipped the diaper under me and gently adjusted it to fit me, I closed my eyes. Not out of shame - but to stay completely with myself. I felt... held. Not at the mercy of others. Not small in a negative sense. But accepted. Unconditionally. When he was finished, he pulled a light blanket over me, sat down next to me and stroked my forehead. Not a word was necessary.

Now it was his turn. His every movement was deliberate, almost tender with himself. No acting. No show. Just him - as he was when he let himself fall. I watched him very closely, said nothing. It was the first time I had seen it in him. At some point I wanted to be able to wrap him like that. Would he let me? I unobtrusively straightened up a little to get a better view...

How he slowly undressed without hurrying or hiding. Or did these moments just seem so long? It wasn't erotic in the classic sense - but incredibly intimate. I could feel how much he trusted himself in that moment. I knew what an overcoming it was for him. That made it even more special. And that he was giving me exactly this trust. He lay back on the chair, carefully lifted his hips and placed the diaper underneath him. Just like he had done with me. Everything seemed calm, almost ritualistic. The way he pulled the sides to the middle, attached the adhesive strips, the way he checked with his hand to make sure everything was smooth - it was as if he was putting on a piece of security himself. Even with the diaper on, I could see his erection. It's hard to miss with men. I swallowed. Not with shame. But with emotion. He stayed like that for a moment. Then he joined me on the sofa.

Motherly, we snuggled up. Under my blanket. It was going to be a long evening. The movie became a minor matter. I enjoyed the feeling of care and security we gave each other. It was perfect.

To be continued: