Once and Again Ch. 05

~~~

It hadn't taken long, and our three lives were in a routine. Meredith and I were together every weekend, but come Sunday night and Monday, she'd leave me to take care of her life elsewhere. We'd get together again on Tuesdays. Sometimes we stayed at her place, sometimes at mine, but every Wednesday morning when we parted, she said, "Take good care of her. See you tomorrow." She made no bones about that I was now regularly staying with, and fucking Loretta, every Wednesday. Before it had been random, usually about once a week, sometimes every other week, but not necessarily always on the same day. And, just like Meredith and me, sometimes Loretta and I were at her house, sometimes at my place, but it was now essentially every Wednesday we ended up in bed together.

And suddenly, at the age of 70, I now had two girlfriends, of which neither seemed to be jealous of the other.

After that first "social" night/dinner of Meredith and me at work, and with sharing each other's bed at least once a week, it became easier to cross the line between work and pleasure. With the two of us interacting at lunch, and with both of us being "single," we were occasionally doing after-hours dinner or drinks, usually with others. I didn't think about it when we were in a group environment, Loretta normally sat next to me, and we walked to different places together. Still, it was a bit of a surprise to me when one of our other co-workers, Rob, questioned me in the elevator going back to the office after lunch. Loretta and one of the other project managers had stopped at the restrooms, and we'd said we'd see them back at the office.

"So, Jerry," Rob started offhand. "You and Loretta? A bit more of a thing now?"

"What?" I responded, pretending I didn't have a clue what he was talking about, thinking we had kept our out-of-work relationship secret for so many years, and his modifier more seeming to indicate he thought there had been something in the past.

"Just asking, what's your relationship now? You've been tapping that for, what -- six... eight years?" He laughed at my shocked expression. "Although, I'm really surprised she hasn't dropped you like a lead balloon the way you've stepped out on her in the past."

"You knew that?"

"Oh My God, Jerry -- it's not exactly been a secret in that everybody in the office knows it."

"I thought we'd been pretty discrete."

"Kind of hard to keep office romances quiet. The secretaries in particular know who's in whose bed and that you've been sharing hers for years."

It may have been that everyone else knew about Loretta and me, but she was as shocked as I was when I told her what Rob had asked and told of his stating that it was virtually an "open secret" among everyone else.

~~~

"Tomorrow?" The text Thursday, midday, from Meredith said, which I instantly and correctly interpreted as meaning she wouldn't see me tonight. "Got something this evening, so I'll see you at dinner time tomorrow," the follow-up text said. I didn't think anything of it. Although we had gotten to where we were in each other's bed about 4 nights a week, occasionally it didn't happen.

In some respects, it was a relief. When my wife Trisha and I got married, it had been sex -- morning, noon, and night, but I was in my twenties back then. A weekend away, where sometimes the only reason we got dressed was to go out to dinner. A Sunday at home, where we came home from church and ended up back in bed for the afternoon. We were both quite open about desiring sex; she truly was my "sexual soul mate." My first wife and I had been immature and just loved to fuck, but otherwise we had nothing in common, but Trisha and I had been joined, not at the hip -- but in the mind. But lustful desires gradually waned with time, to where we usually had sex on Saturday night, and if not then, Sunday mornings, and usually once or twice during the week. And then, toward the end, with her battling cancer and chemotherapy, our sex life ended totally. My sex life had picked up when I started dating others again, with an on-again, off-again, fuck-buddy relationship with Loretta, but even then, it was more of a once-a-week getting laid, not virtually every night.

I thought back over the last few months. From the time I'd hooked up with Meredith, it had all been sex. Twice now, Meredith and I had met with Stef and Jay for a lusty overnight and uninhibited foursome. Meredith loved to watch me with Stef while she was with Jay. She loved a threesome with any of the other two of us -- or even just watching Jay and Stef with me, but it was only no strings attached, open sex, with them. But, to Meredith's urging, I was spending every Wednesday night with Loretta, and truthfully, enjoying it. Unlike with Meredith, who regularly made sure I wore my cock ring and serviced her to multiple orgasms before she allowed me to take it off and cum myself, Loretta and I usually started with a prolonged foreplay session. She loved when I went down on her, arousing her with my touch and then usually getting her off at least once with my tongue before we'd fuck, and then mostly sated, we'd lie and talk, we'd fall asleep, and then in the morning when we'd wake and I'd naturally recovered, we'd usually play once more before work -- and then she or I would leave for a week and I'd be back with Meredith.

As I lay there that night, alone, thinking about my loves and my sex life, I found myself thinking of Loretta more than Mary. Lying there, talking with Loretta. Lying there, cuddling with Loretta comfortably on my shoulder. I could fondle Loretta's breast because it felt good to stroke her body, without thinking I was arousing her for another session. With Meredith, the opposite was true - anything with her seemed to arouse her. Seldom did I go to bed with Meredith that I didn't already have a cock ring installed, and never was a single orgasm enough for her. And never did we just lie there together, where sex wasn't the subject of our discussions.

I drifted off to sleep, vaguely wondering where Meredith was and what she was doing. This time, she'd said nothing about what she was doing or whom she was doing it with. Several times, in the past, she'd told me she was going to spend the night with Stef, or with Stef and Jay, or that she was going to a "girl's night out" with Stef and Josie. She assumed that I knew who Josie was, and when I said I didn't, she reminded me of the first night that I'd seen her with the two other women at Outback. The shorter woman with the immense bosom was Josie. She'd been Steffanie's roommate in college and had no interest in men.

It was Friday, a week later, and as we'd parted in the morning, Meredith had told me to plan on a special night that evening. All she'd said when I'd queried the reason was "You'll see," with an enigmatic smile. I then completely forgot about her hint of something special until I arrived at her home that evening. I walked in through the side door to the kitchen, as I usually did, only to have Meredith step into the kitchen to greet me.

"Oh, are we getting started early tonight?" I asked with a giggle as Meredith was dressed, or rather undressed, for sex. Her pale blue negligee hid nothing.

"I told you, we had something special tonight," she said, stepping up and putting her arms around my neck, pulling me close into a hug and a kiss. One hand dropped to my crotch, and as her other hand slid down my arm, I realized she had my cock ring in her hand. She handed it to me and said, "Your shower awaits you. Don't be long."

It wasn't that we didn't have sex on Fridays, we usually did, but it was usually later in the evening, after dinner and relaxing. But her handing me the cock ring meant that she wanted it on now. I shaved my cock and balls in the shower, but didn't feel any arousal at all. Still limp, I dried and stepped out naked into the bedroom, hollering, "Hey babe, I think I'm going to need..." and stopped.

"Do you need her to help, or can I help?" Loretta said. Standing just inside the bedroom door, she was dressed in a matching pale blue negligee to Meredith.

I stopped, shocked. Loretta stepped forward, reaching for the cock-ring in my hand. With a devilish smile on her face, she dropped to her knees and licked my cock, gripping it with one hand before guiding it to her mouth. I don't know whether it was the instantaneous blowjob or that it was from an unexpected source, but I immediately began erecting to her touch.

"I hope you like surprises and you don't mind that you're getting both of your lovers tonight," Meredith said as she stepped into the door of the bath from the bedroom. I didn't even answer, just looking down as Loretta was now cinching down the cock ring on my almost total erection. Meredith had been right, Loretta did appreciate the toy, and had readily learned how to install it, so that I was at my hardest. Just like Meredith, she started with my cock in her mouth, the cock ring around my not yet hard cock, sucking and then tightening, so I remained erect.

Suddenly, it dawned on me where Meredith had been the previous Thursday night. "I take it you two met without me?"

I'd never hidden anything about previous lovers from current lovers, although specifics about "who" my lovers were usually didn't come into the discussion. While Carmen specifically came up as she'd bragged to Loretta about me, and Meredith had wanted to know about Meredith, and demanded that I go back to Loretta and tell her about Meredith and me, I hadn't anticipated that the two of them might get together, might want to share me, instead of having two separate relationships.

"I invited Loretta to meet me and go to dinner. We talked for hours, and figured that since we'd been sharing you apart, we might as well find out if we liked sharing you together," Meredith explained, stepping up and putting her arm around me. Reaching down, she slipped her hand underneath to cup my balls just as Loretta pulled her mouth away from my cock. As Loretta rose from her knees, Meredith slid her hand over to mine and gripped it. "Come on, let's take this to the bed."

I, in turn, reached for Loretta's hand as she rose, and we followed Meredith. Her eyes looked at my face, and I tried to decipher what she was thinking. We'd never discussed playing with others, specifically Meredith, although our conversation from a few days before came to mind. Her words that she was not interested in a DP initially came to mind, but then her admitting that she'd sometimes contemplated making love with a woman also came to mind.

As we crawled up onto the bed, the memory of being on the bed with Rick and Meredith from 50 years before came to mind. All that had transpired that night, until now, I'd always thought had been inspired by Rick. And now, suddenly, everything that had transpired with Meredith and me over the last few months changed that thought and I realized that although I had thought our threesome in their College apartment had been instigated and pushed for by Rick, perhaps he had just been going along with Meredith's wishes. In my mind, I heard his words in the kitchen as he'd spoken privately with his wife: "That's up to you." Thinking back, I realized that Rick hadn't known for sure that she'd put in Debbie Does Dallas into the VCR, but when Rick had asked what we were watching, she'd said, "You know what movies I like." Meredith had made the decision so many years before to fuck me, to put on the sex movie to entice me, and now, here again, she was directing.

Meredith crawled onto the far side of the bed, reaching out for Loretta's hand as she did. Reaching for Loretta's negligee, she began to lift, Loretta's arms raising as she pulled it up and over her head. Loretta looked at me, and I was sure it was for acceptance of what was occurring. "She's sure got nice tits, doesn't she?" Meredith said, saying the exact thought that had always come into my mind every time I saw Loretta naked over the last nine years. She pushed the now nearly naked Loretta backwards onto the bed. Leaning in, she licked Loretta's near nipple before sucking it into her mouth.

I smiled at Loretta, indicating I was OK with this, and then did likewise, leaning in and sucking her other nipple at the same time. That her nipples were already swollen, I knew enough about Loretta's body to know and understand, meant she was at least partially aroused. She groaned her approval as I took her nipple in my mouth.

I had my eyes closed, savoring the berry of Loretta's breast, my upper hand reaching up to caress her belly. I felt her leg move a bit and didn't hesitate to begin reaching for her pussy, only to be surprised by Meredith's hand already being there. Rolling my head over, I could see Meredith's hand in place, her finger swirling around Loretta's clit and in just seconds, her body began to shake in orgasm. That sexual arousal comes from the brain was obvious, as we'd done very little to physically arouse her to this point. Her nipple had already been hard when I began sucking it, and Meredith's fingers had barely touched her clit before she came.

When Loretta's hand searched out Meredith's to stop her touch, Meredith lifted her hand to her own mouth, sucking her finger, and presumably Loretta's juices from it. I hadn't been looking to see that she'd slipped her fingers into Loretta to begin with, but easily imagined that she had, slathering Loretta's juices onto her clit before rubbing her off. "Oh My God, so tasty! Loretta, I want to eat you..." Meredith said, beginning to shift her body to go down on her.

"No! No!" Loretta panted, "Not now... too soon!"

"She likes to recover first," I said, thereby needlessly explaining that I'd experienced this before. I'd discovered years before that Loretta was not averse to playing again, and having another orgasm sometime later, but needed time to recover after cumming the first time.

"Oh Yeah?" Meredith said, instead letting her hand shift to her own body, to her own crotch, pressing against her mons. "Then how about you come over here and use that tongue on me first? Let her recover while you do me?"

I grinned and reached for her body, only to have her intercept my hand before I could reach her pussy. "Uh-uh, I want tongue!" she said, rolling onto her back and spreading her legs.

"Pillow," I stated, affirming that I wasn't against eating her, just needed her lower body raised to ease the strain on my neck. She understood immediately, pulling the pillow from behind her head and turning, indicating to Loretta she should also relinquish the other pillow, which she did. With two pillows under her hips I easily crawled between her legs, which went from being spread wide to over my shoulders, and let my tongue caress her pussy.

My eyes, which normally I'd have closed while eating pussy, or focused on my lovers face, this time shifted from Meredith's face to Loretta to find she was watching.

"Oh My God, Loretta," Meredith crooned, her hand reaching for Loretta's, "I love a tongue on my pussy. Don't you?" Loretta didn't answer outright, but her head nodded in agreement. "And a tongue on my clit, right up until I'm ready to cum and then sucking... Oh My God, that's the best!" She hummed her approval for several moments before her other hand reached for my head, pulling and holding me to her crotch, before she said, "Suck! Oh My God, Oh My God" and her body quaked in orgasm. I realized she still had Loretta's hand in hers as she did.

I pulled back from Meredith's pussy. Although she almost always wanted to go again immediately, this time I sensed she was done for the moment. She almost immediately rolled toward Loretta. "That was a good one. He's really good with his tongue, isn't he?" Loretta's head, facing Meredith's just nodded. Unexpectedly, Meredith leaned forward, her lips coming to meet Loretta's.

Initially, I sensed that Loretta was hesitant to kiss Meredith back, but just before I lost sight of Loretta's eyes, they closed, and the kiss was returned. Meredith's hand again reached Loretta's breast, her fingers latching onto her nipple, and Loretta's hand reached across to Meredith's breast also. I could see Loretta fill her hand with Meredith's mound and then move back until just her nipple was in her hand. Meredith pulled up away from the kiss, looking into Loretta's face, before shifting and moving down to where she could suck on her nipple.

Suddenly, I realized that I was the third wheel. That Meredith was going to make love to Loretta, I understood. "Do you like it when Jerry uses his tongue on you?" Meredith asked, having pulled away from Loretta's nipple and kissing down her body, now planting kisses on her belly.

"Yes," Loretta answered, a quiver in her voice.

"We need the pillows, Jerry," Meredith said to me, her hand now on top of Loretta's pussy. She had moved her bottom almost totally off the pillows. I gripped them and pulled them over to Loretta. "Raise your hips, dear," Meredith said, and reached under her near leg to help lift. Loretta arched her body from her knees, Meredith's hand finding a pillow and pulling it under her butt. I moved the second pillow over, and Meredith helped move it in place, elevating Loretta's pussy just as her own had been minutes before. Meredith ran her hand over Loretta as she quit arranging the pillows, her finger delving to Loretta's vagina, dipping into her momentarily, before dragging up and across her clit. Loretta shivered at Meredith's touch, and I realized she'd relinquished herself, that she was agreeing to go along with whatever was going to happen. Until that time, I hadn't thought anything about Loretta's willingness to participate in a threesome, or participate with another woman, something she'd never done before, but now was seemingly willingly doing so.

Meredith's hand pulled away from Loretta's body and went to her own mouth. "Mmm," she hummed, "Jerry! You've got to love eating this pussy! She's so tasty, isn't she?" I didn't answer, realizing she wasn't really asking for me to answer. She leaned back in, again planting a kiss on Loretta's stomach before moving lower. She kissed the crease of Loretta's leg, the top of her pubic hair, finally moving her mouth to Loretta's clit. Whether she tongued it or sucked it I couldn't tell, but the virtually instant shiver and shake from Loretta, just as her body responded when I went down on her, was unmistakable. Loretta's hand moved from her side to Mary's ass, fondling and squeezing her butt cheek. Her hand slid lower, onto Mary's leg, and I realized her fingers were touching, or nearly touching, Mary's pussy also.

Meredith suddenly rose, pulling away from Loretta and me. Turning, she slid between Loretta's legs, rising onto her knees. "Jerry! I need you to fuck me!" she said, before dipping her face to Loretta's pussy once again.

On her knees with her ass in the air, it was similar to what had occurred with Stef and Jay, except that instead of sucking on Jay's cock while I fucked her doggie, she was lapping Loretta's pussy. With her ass in the air, I had no problem sliding myself into her, as always finding her pussy wet and inviting. Soon enough Loretta and Meredith came virtually together, while my ring impeded cock still begged for release.

Meredith pulled away from Loretta after they came, pulling away from me and sliding up beside her. I realized again that, despite my cock having just been in Meredith, I was the third wheel. Looking Loretta in the face, Meredith whispered something, to which Loretta's head nodded yes, and I heard her whisper a yes at the same time. Meredith, obviously in charge of this once three-way, now two-way rendezvous, leaned forward, her lips meeting Loretta's in an open-mouthed kiss. When she lifted away again, Loretta said, "Is that what I taste like?" I couldn't hear Meredith's whisper, but could see Loretta's face, her lower lip sucking between her teeth as she nodded and then whispered, "Yes." A moment later, she said, "I've never...."

Meredith rolled onto her side, her hand going to Loretta's breast, and I heard her quietly say, "Just do what you like to have done. What you liked when I did it to you, because that's what I like too."

With her rolling to her side, Meredith effectively transferred control of their tryst to Loretta. To this point, Loretta had 'been along for the ride,' but now I sensed she understood that Meredith was letting her do what she wanted.

Leaning over, Loretta returned to kissing Meredith, her hands stroking down Meredith's body. Her fingers found her nipples, her hands squeezed her breasts, and Meredith returned the favor to Loretta at the same time. When Loretta's hand hesitantly moved down, Meredith's legs spread invitingly as Loretta explored her body. Just as my hand had pleasured both of these women before, I watched as Loretta's hand explored another woman, presumably for the first time. Her fingers slipped over Meredith's mons, sliding down further, where I could see her finger slipping into her vagina.

We had started as the three of us playing together, and I realized that not only had I pulled my cock from Meredith, we had separated into two women, exploring and playing, and one male, watching and, surprisingly, learning. Sliding back from the bed, I moved to the chair against the wall, reaching down and removing my cock ring before I sat to masturbate, and watch.

Loretta's middle finger stroked in and out of Meredith's pussy several times before I saw her rearrange her hand, inserting her ring and middle finger at the same time. Immediately, Meredith moaned, "Oh! That's nice!" and I had to wonder why, in all my years, had I never done this? I'd successfully pleasured Meredith, Loretta, my wife, Carmen... and a multitude of other women with a single finger before -- so why had I never used two fingers at the same time? Yet Meredith's response indicated it was equal or better than a single finger, and I'd seen multiple porn movies of women masturbating with two fingers -- so why had I never tried it?

Watching the two of them, I couldn't hear all their whispered conversation. An occasional "Yeah," or "Like that," I could hear and interpret from their touches about what it meant, but unlike when it was Stef and Meredith, two lovers who intimately knew each other, this was more of a mutual seduction, and much more erotic to me. Sitting with cock in hand, I slowly stroked myself, trying to keep myself hard. I let my free hand strum my nipples, and as the lady's ardor increased, so did mine, but in a 70-year-old body, keeping an erection going wasn't easy.

When Meredith and Stef had pleasured each other, it had eventually included mutual cunnilingus, but I realized I hadn't really paid any attention to their caresses before they'd moved into a 69. Here, I saw Meredith's hand come down to cover Loretta's, to hold her in place, and help her, and soon enough the shudder of orgasm ripped through her body -- all without the pleasuring of a tongue. It dawned on me, from my male perspective, lovemaking was all about getting my cock or tongue into my partner, but here, the first orgasm had been from fingers and sucking tongues.

"That was nice," I heard Meredith whisper as Loretta's fingers and hand stopped moving. She still had her fingers in Meredith's vagina, just not moving, until she pulled them out, stroking them over Meredith's clit as she did. I couldn't hear Loretta's whisper, but I distinctly heard Meredith's, "I'd like that," in response.

Whether Loretta had forgotten I was there or was ignoring me, she was no longer paying attention in my direction. Turning her body, she applied kisses in all the normal spots, gradually moving her face to Meredith's pussy. "Mmm, yeah. That's nice," Meredith crooned, followed moments later by an "Oh! Like that!" Her little coos of pleasure to Loretta's oral ministrations continued until I heard her say, "Let me do it too." Her hands guided Loretta into place, straddling her body in reverse as they moved into a 69 with Loretta on top. Soon enough I recognized that both had achieved orgasm, Loretta lifting and turning, sliding her body in next to Meredith, their arms around each other. Their whispered communication I could not hear.

Despite my attempt at keeping myself erect, my cock had wilted, and now that they were just cuddling, post-orgasmic bliss occupying their bodies, I rose from my chair and moved to the bed. Dropping a hand onto Loretta's hip and bottom, that was all it took for her to roll slightly to look my way, with Meredith just raising her eyes slightly to do the same. "Feeling left out?" Meredith said, raising her body and scooting sideways, leaving space between the two of them. "Slide up in here," she said, patting the space between them.

~

"Was it all you thought it would be?" I asked Loretta as we were cuddled the following Wednesday. I didn't have to say what I was talking about; she knew.

"With Meredith?"

"Yeah."

"She really likes sex, doesn't she?" She answered without really answering my question. I nodded my head in agreement.

"That she does." Neither of us spoke for a moment. "Was it OK, making love with her? Her making love with you?" I reworded my question.

Loretta didn't answer for a moment. "I think we had sex; we didn't make love." I didn't say anything. "I liked the way her clit throbbed when she came, and I had my tongue on it."

"Yours does that too."

"I guess. Sometimes I can feel it that way, but when I cum and its really intense, it's like fireworks go off in my brain."

"Yeah. I think it's like that with me too, when it's all just hot and fast sex, I know it feels good when I cum, but when it's long and slow, it's like pressure building up. I don't know if I can describe it, but it's like I can feel a burning sensation at the base of my cock that gradually rises up the shaft, and then when I cum it's almost as much in the back of my brain as it is my cock. It's almost as if the rest of my body ceases to exist." I don't know why the conversation ended; I just remembered waking up in the morning to the comfort of my arm wrapped around Loretta, with her bottom snuggled against me, spooning.

~

"Can I ask you a question?" Loretta asked. It was a Wednesday night, a couple of weeks later, and we'd just finished making love. We'd ended with her riding me Cowgirl, and she had just lain forward afterward, still on my body.

"Of course."

"You won't laugh?"

"Why would I?"

"I've got the feeling it's something I should know, but don't. I was going to Google it, but just haven't yet."

"What is it?" Her head was against my chest, sideways, so I couldn't see her face, but I sensed as her tongue slithered between her lips, wetting them, before she asked.

"What's a spit roast? What does that mean?"

I immediately understood, my mind flashing back to that very first time with Rick and Meredith back in college days. Meredith had been on her hands and knees, Rick fucking her from behind as she leaned down and sucked my cock. Instead of answering, I asked a question. "Where'd you hear that?"

"Meredith. She said she's always liked to be spit-roasted."

"Oh." I immediately understood that Meredith and Loretta had been talking, more, I just hadn't known it. "You've been talking to her?"

"Yeah. Occasionally." I waited for her to explain. Nothing like silence to make someone want to fill the quiet. "After, you know, when we all got together?"

"Yeah."

"We talked a few days later. She wanted to know if I was OK with what happened. I assured her I was, and she said she'd really enjoyed being with us and hoped that I had too, and wanted to know if we'd... if I... would like to do that again. I told her it had been fun, but I hadn't decided whether that was something for me yet or not. She said if we wanted, we could party with her and her lovers, or occasionally they attended swingers parties, which can be fun too. She said that as much as she loved playing with just you and me, what she likes about bigger groups is that she really likes a spit roast, and she can almost always get that. I didn't tell her I didn't know what a spit roast is." I didn't say anything, thinking more that Meredith had been talking to Loretta, unknown to me. "Do you know what a spit roast is?" she repeated.

"On a rotisserie barbeque," I started, "you can put a big roast onto a rotating shaft, and then add a second shaft from the other side, that rests on a roller, to support the roast and keep it from sagging as it turns." I paused and then continued, "Sexually a spit roast is a woman on her hands and knees being fucked doggie from behind with another cock fucking her mouth from in front. Penetrated front and back -- just like a spit roast."

"Oh." She didn't say anything for a moment, absorbing what I'd said. "Have you ever done that?" Now it was my turn to think. Had I?

"Sort of."

"With Meredith?" I nodded my head. Having previously told Loretta about my early threesome with Rick and Mary, it was just a detail that I hadn't expounded on.

"That time I had the threesome with Rick and Mary back in college? Rick took her from behind while she was sucking me off."

"Why is that sort of? Isn't that what you said it was?"

"I was on my back, she was leaning down to suck me, whereas the visualization of a "spit roast" is more that I would be on my hands and knees so that she could slide back onto a cock and then slide forward onto a cock, essentially being fucked in the mouth and pussy at the same time. That time, it was more that Rick was fucking her doggie style and she was stationary sucking me off. I don't know," I clarified, "maybe it's not that defined, but that's what I think."

Loretta's head nodded. "You never did that with your wife?"

"My wife and I never played with others." Her head nodded.

"What about you?"

"No. We were exclusive." We lay there, snuggled against each other, for several minutes, before I asked, "Is that something you would like to do?"

Her answer, when it came, was just, "I'd never had sex in a group before. It was alright, I had fun with you and Mary, but I'm still not sure I would want to do it again." She rolled up onto her side, looking me in the face. "Playing with Meredith was fun, I'm glad I did at least once, but I've always been exclusive with a man, until now. And I'm not sure I would get anything out of fucking someone else. I know that Meredith has orgasms much easier than I do, and likes to have lots of them, but that's not necessarily what I want, for me."

I just nodded.

~

I don't know how often Meredith and Loretta were talking. I also didn't know that Meredith invited her to join her and her girls for another "Girls Night Out" dinner, just like the night when I first spotted Meredith. When it happened, I didn't see either of them that night, but Loretta told me about it later, and that as they were leaving the restaurant that Josie had asked if she was going to join them at her place to play. She said she'd turned them down and gone home alone.

~~~

That Loretta was defining our relationship, I did not doubt. I'd come to realize that I really enjoyed being with her, but I also really enjoyed the sex with Meredith. On a couple of different occasions, Meredith and I also had sex with Stef and Jay.

Stef and Meredith were two peas in a pod when it came to sex; they both liked it with each other and with Jay and me. Jay and I had a true 'spit roast' at one time or another with each of them. We almost always had a true foursome when we were together, all of us fucking and sucking, including that Jay sucked me off to the urging of Meredith and Stef, but I wasn't quite ready for that. I'm not sure that I ever will be. I'd told them I wasn't into that, but Stef was the one that insisted that I couldn't tell the difference, a man's mouth sucking my cock was no different than a woman's mouth sucking my cock, and they presented the challenge. I was blindfolded and one by one, the three of them sucked my cock. I thought that they were probably pranking me, except that when I finally blasted off, Meredith pulled the blindfold off and I found Jay in front of me with my cum all over his face. They asked if I wanted to return the favor, but I said no.

~

"Jerry?" When Loretta started a question or statement by using my name, I knew this was serious.

"What's up?" I said, rolling onto my side and looking her in the face, thereby letting her know she had my undivided attention. It was something my wife had instilled in me, that when I'm doing something else, I had a tendency not to pay undivided attention to her. She would stop and wait for me to put whatever I was doing down, look at her, and then answer.

"I told Meredith that if you want, we'd go to their party this Saturday with them."

"Party?" I said, not thinking that I'd heard about it, and then realizing that I had.

"A swinger party."

I gulped. This was a BIG change for Loretta. To date, she'd said she had not wanted to expand our playing with others, but admitted our one instance with Meredith in a threesome had been somewhat enjoyable. She had on at least one occasion been asked if she wanted to go "play" with the girls after their "girls night out," but had rejected that. While neither of them had ever said it, I suspected that Meredith's continued chatting and talking with Loretta had the ulterior motive of trying to get her to join us in bed again. "You told her you'd go?" I asked.

"I told her that, if you wanted, we'd both go."

"And what brought that on?" I asked, wondering at the same time, if I was into such a thing. While I'd had a threesome with Rick and Meredith, and again with Loretta and Meredith, and a foursome with Meredith, Jay, and Stef -- a "group sex" or "orgy" or "party with many" hadn't ever occurred. I know Meredith had indicated she'd like to take me to one, but didn't know she'd been talking to Loretta about it.

"She's been telling me for a while that she's sure I'd like it. That more than anything, it's about like a live porno flick. You don't have to do anything with anyone that you don't want to, but it can be really hot watching others, or having them watch you."

~

Meredith and I had gotten ready together. She'd taken a bath rather than showering with me, and while I was shaving my face, I could see her in the mirror shaving her legs and pussy. I knew she normally shaved in the shower, and when I asked, she said she didn't want to shower with me as she knew we'd be tempted to do it in the shower and said we'd both enjoy it more if we waited until later. She didn't have to, but reminded me that I should also shave my cock and balls, as ever since I started using a cock ring, I'd appreciated smooth skin, to say nothing about Meredith and Loretta both saying that oral sex was better without hair.

Meredith wandered around the house naked until it was almost time to leave, whereupon she pulled on an almost sheer blouse without a bra, a sheer thong panty, and a short skirt. "Advertising?" I queried when she said she was ready to go, looking down at her almost totally visible nipples through the blouse.

"Of course!" she giggled. "We'll probably all be getting naked, but many of the guys enjoy the tease and undressing the women, so I play along."

Loretta looked nervous when we picked her up, and Meredith recognized this immediately. "Loretta, you know you don't have to do anything. You can play if you want, or not, and remember, "no" means "no." You'll find that everyone is really polite and very blunt. They'll ask if they can eat your pussy, or if you'll suck their cock, or if you would like to fuck. And you can expect that being the "newbie" most everyone will want to have sex with you. That's just the way it is."

Loretta, unlike Meredith, was wearing a bra and a tight-fitting pink sweater. Her nipples were erect and quite visible poking through the sweater, something I'd never seen with her pale green sweater she sometimes wore to work, so I assumed her bra was different. "Nice sweater," I commented in admiration, "I don't think I've ever seen you wear that to work."

"Don't you mean cute nipples?" Meredith laughed.

"Is it OK?" Loretta asked, self-consciously moving her arm across her breasts. I rightly assumed that she hadn't had a chance, coming out as I'd called her to come out when we were pulling up to, see that Meredith's breasts were virtually exposed.

"Oh, very much," Meredith answered. "You look great. Very sexy. You'll be a big hit."

Stepping out of the car when we arrived, I put a hand out to Loretta, pulling her to me, and bent to give her a kiss. "You really do look great," I agreed, slipping a hand onto her breast as I hugged and kissed her. I realized that although she had on a bra, her breasts were essentially bare. "I've never seen this bra, have I?" I asked.

"I haven't worn it in a long time."

"Come on, you two," Meredith said, "let's take it inside."

~

We weren't quite the last to arrive, but almost. Another, younger couple arrived just a few minutes later, apologizing for "being late" as they'd had to come up with another babysitter, at the last minute, when the babysitter they previously arranged for had come down sick. While they were the youngest people that night, I think probably everyone was younger than I was.

While we weren't the last to arrive, for the most part, people were drinking and talking just like any party, with exceptions. The only major difference was that here, most everyone, was dressed for sex.

Many of the participants were already nude, most of the women had sexy lingerie on, and some of the men. One man had a large open mesh thong, exposing his cock and balls, his significant other, holding his hand, was wearing a similar, open mesh, bra and panty. Her larger-than-pencil eraser nipples, on large silver-dollar sized areola's, protruded through the mesh and were kept in place by two decorative 'flowers' that appeared to be hugging tightly to her nipples.

Some people were already participating in sex. One couple was standing and talking with another nude man, who had a nude woman kneeling beside him with the clothed man's pants open while she fellated him, the other three of them watching. As my eyes floated across them, something was said, the standing woman laughed, and reached down to fondle the nude man's cock, and I could almost imagine her saying, "Maybe later."

"Oh, my goodness!" a man's voice said from behind. Turning to the voice I found a nude man obviously eyeing Loretta. "Who's this little minx, Meredith?" he asked.

"Hello Ryan," Meredith answered, "these are my friends Jerry and Loretta," she said as Ryan stepped to her and put his arm around her in a hug, "They're newbies."

"Glad to meet you," he said with a nod, his eyes never leaving Loretta's tits. "Don't be bashful! I'd love to be the one to take that sweater off you and let us all see those gorgeous nipples that are begging to be played with and to be the first to suck them!"

Loretta blushed, her shoulders moving forward a bit to take the stress off her breasts. She looked directly at me and I mouthed 'You're ok."

"Let them get a bit more acclimated first, Ryan," Meredith said, "maybe later," and gently pushed him away. "I told you," she said turning back to Loretta, "you can expect that people won't be bashful about asking if you want to do something."

"Jerry!" I heard, recognizing the voice, and turned to find Stef stepping up to me. "Mary told me you were coming! I hope you'll want to play with me. We sure enjoyed it when you came with Meredith," she said, referring to the times Mary and I joined her and Jay at their place.

"Good to see you," I said, extending my arm to give her a hug, my eyes running down her mostly nude body. Just like at her house, she again had her nipple chain necklace around her neck and a very skimpy thong bottom. "My God you've got great tits," I said, and then remembering that unlike at their house, everything was supposed to be asked and approved, I said, "Can I feel them?"

"They'd love that," she giggled, as my hand, not waiting for an answer, had moved toward her. "I always love the nipple chains, and the way they keep them hard," I said, my hand cupping her breast, my thumb running up and across her nipple.

"Glad you like them! That's why I wear them" she giggled, as she stepped up to give me a quick kiss. "What about you, are you going to get naked and play?" Her hand ran down across my stomach to my crotch, presumably since we'd been previous lovers, needing to ask for permission from me, not necessary before she touched me. I saw her eyes move past me, looking around, and she said, "Is that your friend with Mary in the pink sweater?"

I looked around, realizing that Mary and Loretta had moved off without me, and were now talking with another couple across the room. "Yeah, that's my girlfriend Loretta," I answered, not realizing the girlfriend description that I'd added.

"I'll go say hello. Will you come fuck me later?" she asked, stepping away and not waiting for an answer. I watched her move to Loretta and Mary when I felt a touch on my elbow.

"Hey there! I'm Will," a man said, introducing himself. "This is Natalie, my wife," he said, introducing me to the shorter brunette beside him. Like many of the women, she wasn't just nude, but was dressed in lingerie. "You the newbie? I don't think I've seen you before."

"Yeah, I guess. We came with Meredith."

"We? Oh, is that your other in the pink sweater with Mary? Good looking lady!"

"Thanks. Yeah, we've never done this before."

"Oh, you'll love it. What's your thing?" I know I looked puzzled as his question didn't mean anything to me. "What do you like, what do you do?" he clarified.

Natalie, who hadn't said anything except extend her hand to me to begin with, now said, "I like to fuck, and Will likes to watch me fuck other men." Her eyes ran up and down my body. "So? Want to get naked and fuck me?"

"Right here?" I asked, not answering directly. I looked around and there were now several groups having sex of various different acts. Some in couples, others in threesomes, others just two couples together. My eyes found Mary and Loretta again, they were now talking with yet another couple and another nude man sporting an erection that he was gripping and stroking.

"I like a bed, and there are several vacant rooms at the moment. Care to join us?"

What the hell, I thought, isn't that what we're here for? "Sure, I'd like that," I said, changing my audible response from Sure, why not? to the more positive, "I'd like that."

"I won't suck your cock," Natalie said as she took my hand and we headed toward a hallway that I hadn't even paid any attention to before, "I won't do that." We came to a bedroom door, finding it occupied by two couples on the bed together -- people that I hadn't even seen before. A second doorway led to another bedroom, this one empty, and Natalie stepped in. "If you need a suck to get hard, Will does that for me." The thought of being sucked by him did nothing for me, but I didn't say anything.

"You like to see Nick fuck others too?" I asked as her hands came over to my shirt to help pull it off. She pulled my shirt out of my pants, and immediately her hands went to work on my belt as I finished pulling my shirt off.

"Oh no, I don't allow him to fuck other women. He can suck a cock if I need it, but he doesn't like to have a man come in his mouth, so mostly I have him do that to get a man ready for me." It dawned on me that Will was probably a cuckold, and that Natalie was the dominant one in their relationship was quite obvious.

"You're not hard yet," she said as she pushed my pants down and my partially erect cock sprang free. "I like that you're shaved though," Natalie said with her hand coming out to grip my cock. "Very smooth. Do you want me to have Will suck you?"

"No, I'd rather not. I'm just not so young anymore," I answered, "but I've got a cock ring in my pants pocket." I reached for my pocket, and seconds later had the ring constricted around my cock.

"Hmm, nice! I can feel him getting harder already," she said, her hand stroking my cock.

"Meredith got that for us. It's made a big difference for me." I started to reach for her breast to squeeze her nipple, and paused my reach. "Listen, Natalie," I said, "I'm new to this, and I'm not sure of the etiquette of playing with a stranger. Am I supposed to ask to touch you or finger you or...?"

"Oh no. We're in here together, and I already said I don't suck cocks, but you can do anything else with me that you want. Touch me, finger me, suck me, lick me. I love a man with a good tongue. I'm not really into anal sex, but if you want, we can get some lube and I will. But really, I just love to be fucked."

With the rules of engagement now defined, I no longer hesitated to touch her. Two hands on her breasts, pinching and rolling nipples before I slipped one down her belly, my finger finding her clit. "Mmm, that's nice!" she moaned. Pressing her backwards, she found the bed and sat. I pushed her backwards and told her to scoot up, which she did. I spread her legs and moved up between them, until my tongue could join my fingers on her pussy. "Oh yeah! That's nice!" she said as my tongue found its target. "My God, I love a man who's good with his tongue." Her hand on the back of my head held me in place with moans of approval until she changed and applied just a bit of pressure. "That's good, now get up here and get that cock in me 'cause I want to fuck."

I had been ignoring Will, but as I pulled away from her pussy to slide upward, I glanced his way, finding him still standing and watching, cock in hand, still slowly stroking.

Natalie's legs spread, immediately wrapping over mine as I slid home into her, finding her exceedingly wet and hot. "You're so wet!"

"I always get wet for a new man, and you were good with your tongue, too. Oh God Baby," she said, her face turning to Will, "you see this? This big stud fucking your wife? You love that, don't you? Someone else's cock in your pussy? Yeah... I know you do. Oh My God, baby! Has he got a nice cock or what! It's not going to take long... he's going to make me cum... Oh yeah, baby! Have you got a big load? Oh! I'm getting close!"

This wasn't going to be a long slow fuck -- from the time I slid into her, her legs were constricting around mine to help my motions. But as with Meredith and Loretta, with the cock ring on I was a hard cock -- but not going to come very fast. "Baby! I'm getting there! Bring that cock over and fill my mouth! Now! Or I'm going to cum without you!"

I sensed Will moving, and then the increased pressure on the bed as he knelt beside Natalie's head. She turned to face him where he pressed his cock into her mouth and, with a grunt, I knew he was coming. At the same time, Natalie began quivering in orgasm, her entire body wracked in spasms.

I could tell my thrusting in her wasn't going to do anything further for me, I just wasn't going to cum, and slowed my thrusts. Her legs eased their death grip around mine, and as her eyes came back to focus on me her hand came up to wipe a bit of Will's cum that had escaped and sucked it off her fingers. "Oh my God, Jerry! That was great! You were a great fuck... Oh! You're still hard? Do you need to keep going?" I shook my head no. "You were really good. Can we do this again next time?"

I slipped backwards out of her and stood, not acknowledging whether there would ever be another time or not. I glanced toward Will and back to Natalie. "So? This is your thing? Fucking other men and sucking your husband at the same time?"

"Yeah," she giggled and looking to Will, pursed her lips and blew him a kiss. "He's my little cuck and I'm his little slut. I so love to fuck and he loves to watch."

I just nodded, realizing as I did that Will had said virtually nothing since he'd said hello to me and then introduced me to Natalie. Another part of the equation clicked into place. "He supplies you with lovers, and for his reward, he gets to watch?"

"He gets to pick out my lovers, I just get to enjoy them."

I hadn't realized the "parting" was going to be more awkward than the "courting." I had nothing in common with these two, they weren't friends that I knew, they were just sex partners, and the sex was done -- despite that I still had an erection held there by a cock ring. "I'm... uh... I'm going to go find my friends," I said, pointing a thumb out towards the main room.

"OK. Thanks Jerry. You were really a good sport and a great fuck and I'll gladly do you again sometime." I nodded and walked out.

~

Back in the main room, there were people everywhere. Most were now nude, some were having sex, others just seemed to still be talking, mixing, and enjoying themselves. I noticed another younger couple, not the one that I'd seen come in earlier, who I would have estimated were in their twenties or thirties, talking with a middle-aged couple. Just in a quick appraisal, the young woman was a skinny blond with a gorgeous butt, accented by the tan lines from a thong bikini and small boobs. The middle-aged woman, whom they were talking to, was of medium height with much larger breasts and erect nipples. I caught a gleam from her breasts and realized she had pierced nipples, with some type of jewelry, perhaps a barbell or diamond stud, in place. The young man had a complete erection while the older man wasn't erect, but wasn't flaccid either. Something passed between them just as my eyes swept over, I saw nodding heads, and the older woman reached out and took the younger man's hand while the young woman took the older man's hand, and they began walking toward the hallway and the bedrooms.

I didn't see Loretta or Meredith anywhere. I moved to where I could see around the corner, and found Stef and Jay playing with another couple, just slightly out of sight from where I'd been. Stef was sitting in an armchair, leaning back with her pussy right on the edge, with a woman kneeling in front of her performing cunnilingus on her. Jay was also seated in the chair next to her, his hand held in hers, while a man was on his knees sucking his cock. Stef's eyes came up to meet mine and she just smiled. I looked away.

Not seeing Loretta, or Mary, I stepped outside into the backyard where a swimming pool and spa were occupied by several playing couples, but I didn't stay long. For some reason, I felt the need to check on Loretta. While she had agreed to this party, I had also felt a bit of trepidation from her as we'd headed this way and felt a need to be there for her.

Stepping back inside, I again saw the two of them nowhere, so headed into the hallway and the bedrooms. The first bedroom was still occupied by the group I'd seen there before, although I felt that the pairings had swapped up from what I'd seen before. In the room where I'd fucked Natalie, the younger and older couple that I'd seen heading this way were now playing with each other, obviously having swapped partners. I walked on by, past the bathroom and shower, and at the end of the hall found them in what was obviously the master bedroom. They were on a large king size bed with a woman and two men.

I stopped in the open doorway, just looking for a moment. Meredith and a woman, whom I didn't know, were closest to me, locked in a 69 with each other. I recognized Meredith's head between the legs of a large-bottomed woman on top of her. Beside them, on her hands and knees was Loretta in a spit roast, as I'd described previously -- a cock in her pussy and another in her mouth. She was facing away from the door, so she didn't see me. The man with his cock in her mouth, did see me, and with a smile nodded. His hand, resting on the back of Loretta's head as she sucked his cock, came up into a fist with a thumbs up, and then pointed down to Loretta's head. "Care to have a go? Come on over, she's a great little cocksucker." I just nodded in acknowledgement.

The head of the large-bottomed woman on top of Meredith rose up, turning toward Loretta and her two lovers. "Fuck her good, baby!" I heard her say. "I want to eat your cum from her pussy!" and her head bent back down to Meredith.

I don't know how long the five of them had been playing and whether the man that Loretta was sucking was single or had a mate somewhere else, but they must have been fucking for at least a little bit as almost immediately the man fucking Loretta's pussy grunted, thrust forward into her, stopped, pulled back once and then grunted again as he bottomed out again, his body shaking in orgasm. Seconds later, the man in her mouth groaned out: "Here we go! Here we.... Argh!" his own body shuddering in orgasm as he spewed in Loretta's mouth. At first his hands were holding her face in place, but as he released her head and moved back, I saw Loretta turn her face a bit, spit his cum out of her mouth onto the bed, and then dropped her face to the bed, wiping her mouth on the bedspread.

The man in her pussy pulled back slightly, and then eased himself back in, once, and then again, before he pulled back, and I could see his softening cock pull out of Loretta's swollen pussy. "My God, what a great little fuck," I heard him say, followed by a "now don't run off because my wife wants to eat you." Loretta has said nothing.

I stepped into the room and up to the bed where Loretta was still on her hands and knees, reaching out to rest my hand on the small of her back. Loretta flinched and pulled back just slightly from my touch, her face turning sideways to see who I was.

We had never talked about a threesome. I know she'd asked about what a 'spit roast' was and had said how Meredith indicated she liked to do that, but the emotion on her face told me otherwise. Loretta rose from her squatted position, turning and leaning into my arms as they went around her. "Take me home," she whispered in my ear, "I don't want to be here."

I stepped back, Loretta letting go to shift her weight and stand up. "You running off?" the man who had been in her pussy asked. "Stick around, and my wife will love to clean you up with her tongue." Loretta's head just shook no, and I realized she had a tear in her eye. "She was a great fuck," he said to me, "I'd love to do her again next time you come."

"Whatever," I said, as Loretta reached for her clothes on the floor, picking them up and stepping out of the room. She turned into the toilet, closing the door behind her, excluding me, and I headed back to where I knew my clothes were. I got dressed much faster than Loretta had and was back beside the bathroom door before she'd come out. I was about to knock when the door opened and she stepped out, fully clothed again.

"Take me home," she said, and I just nodded. Stepping out to the other room, we headed for the front door when I remembered we had come with Meredith. Stopping, I looked around and spied Stef and Jay. Jay was sitting on a couch with an unknown woman riding his cock. Stef was beside him, riding some other unknown man's cock. I told Loretta to wait a moment while I stepped over to Stef. "You need to take Mary home, we're leaving," I said, getting an acknowledging nod.

"Is everything OK?" she asked, turning her face to me.

"I uh..." I started to explain, and then realized it wasn't, just simply said "No." I turned and walked away and heard her say something else, but I just headed back to Loretta.

Loretta said nothing as we got in the car. I started it up, looking over to her, and she didn't look at me, keeping her face looking out the window. We were halfway home before she began talking.

"Some man whose name I don't even know fucked me. Some man who I've never seen before stuck his cock in my face, at the same time, and I sucked him off." I didn't say anything, she still wasn't looking at me.

"I'm sorry, Jerry. I know you like that kind of thing, and I wanted to do that for you, but it's not me. I couldn't keep doing that."

"I know."

She didn't say anything for several minutes. I pulled up in front of her house and turned the car off. We just sat for a moment before I said, "Do you want me to come in?"

She finally turned to look at me.

"I've never wanted to be a slut. I've never had a cock in me that didn't belong to someone that I cared about before. And I did it with two at the same time. I'm sorry, Jerry, that lifestyle isn't for me. I just want to be alone for right now." I nodded in acknowledgement, not knowing what to say. She opened the door and stepped out. When she pushed the front door closed, she still hadn't looked back.

~

"She won't take my calls," Meredith said on Tuesday night. She'd come to my place this time. "Will you ask her if she's OK and ask her to call me when you see her tomorrow?" she said. "I'm worried about her."

"She hasn't spoken to me either," I answered. "We had a meeting today, she was there, but she sat on the opposite side of the table and immediately walked out when it was over. I think she's upset."

"We didn't do anything that she didn't agree to, did we?"

I shrugged. I told her about what she'd said in the car, "and I kind of think she did it for me, not for her."

~

"Drinks? After work?" Loretta asked just after lunchtime. I know she'd avoided me all day Monday and Tuesday, and being that it was now Wednesday, the night Loretta and I would normally spend together, I'd been wondering whether I'd go to her place or she'd come to mine.

"You seemed to be pretty upset after the party," I said, setting the margarita she'd asked for on the table of the booth. It was still early, the after-work crowd would be arriving soon, but we'd had no problem finding a small booth.

Loretta didn't say anything to my query, just took a sip of her margarita, looked me in the face, and nodded. I waited, understanding she was going to say something, just hadn't quite got the words yet.

The second sip of her margarita was half the glass, after which, when she set the glass on the table, she kept her hand on it. I saw the calm come across her face, only then realizing the turmoil her face had been expressing. "Jerry," she began, and after a slight pause, continued. "I'm breaking up with you. I don't want to be with you anymore. I don't want to wait for you anymore. I did something for you that was totally out of character for me. I don't know how many girlfriends you've left me for, and I've always welcomed you back to my arms and my bed, always hoping that "this time, he will finally get it," but you never have. I've offered to give you my life, and it's tearing me apart. I can't do that anymore. I won't do that anymore. I need and want more than to be your "Wednesday fuck buddy."

I opened my mouth to speak, and then closed it. What was I going to say? Anything I could say would essentially be telling her she was wrong, but she wasn't. She picked up her glass, one last swallow of margarita downed, and set the glass back down, releasing it this time, and stood. "Goodbye, Jerry."

"Loretta, wait!" I called after her retreating form. She didn't wait.

~

"Just like that?" Meredith said when I told her about it. "Just walked away?" I nodded. "Have you called her?"

"She won't answer. Wouldn't talk at work either. We've had a couple of business interactions, and everything is strictly business. As soon as whatever we're doing is done, she walks away."

"Did you go to her home?"

"She won't answer the door."

Meredith was on her side, looking at me beside her. Her hand slid forward, onto my chest, rubbing across a nipple, before sliding down my belly. "Well, you've still got me," she said as her hand found my flaccid cock, squeezing its softness. "And Stef asked just the other day when I'm going to bring you along again." Despite that I hadn't been thinking sexy thoughts, as she squeezed and stroked, I felt myself growing to her touch. Not surprisingly, she knew exactly at what point to apply my cock ring, and soon enough, she'd got me hard and ready. She'd climbed on top, slipping me inside. "You don't want to help?" she asked, reaching for my hands and pulling them to her breasts. My fingers seemed to respond by themselves, understanding exactly how to pinch and roll her nipples while she rose and fell on my cock until she shuddered in orgasm. "My God, I love to cum," she sighed, rolling off of me to one side, her hand coming down to grip my cock, now slippery from being inside her, squeezing and stroking once again.

I rolled my head to look at her. Reaching down, I gripped her wrist and pulled it away from my cock. "Not tonight, Mary. I'm sorry." I rolled away, out of bed, and reached for my clothes.

"You're leaving?"

"Yeah, I've got to go home."

"Oh." She watched me get dressed, and when I pulled my shoes on, she asked, "Are we all right?"

I stopped and turned to her, finding her naked body covered by the sheet from the waist down. "I don't know," I answered simply before I turned and walked out.

~

No matter how much fun Meredith was, with plenty of no-strings-attached sex, I couldn't get Loretta out of my mind. With Loretta out of sharing my bed on Wednesdays, I now found myself in Mary's bed, or her in mine, 5 days a week. We still went our separate ways two days a week, so it never felt like we were had any real commitment to each other, especially in that she wasn't hiding that she was seeing her girlfriends occasional for some woman-on-woman sex, and that she, and we, were also occasionally visiting and fucking with Stef and Jay.

"So," Stef began just after we'd pleasured each other and were relaxing on the bed, about two months since I'd last seen Loretta. Jay was busy servicing Meredith and her insatiable desires across the room. "You've broken up with Loretta?"

"Mary told you that?" She didn't respond immediately.

"Loretta told me that."

"You've been seeing her?" I asked, immediately thinking that IF they had been talking, and since my introduction to her had been based on group sex, she was probably still having sex with her, or perhaps her and Jay. Was she also seeing Mary?

"Just talking." I sensed that she understood my thoughts, laying them to rest.

"She really wanted more than just being a fuck buddy, you know." I didn't say anything, just lying there thinking about Loretta and realizing that, even when I was in bed with another woman, I missed her.

All the women I'd dated and had sex with over the last 10 years passed through my mind. How many times had I spent the night with Loretta, and then a day or two later, met someone, thought I was attracted to them, and just walked away from Loretta? "Sorry, Loretta, I'm busy this weekend..." I had said more times than I could remember. Always, what I was saying was that I had met a woman and was planning on getting into her pants, or perhaps I already had. And then it would fade, and there was good old Loretta willingly taking me back.

"What is Meredith to you?" Stef asked. I rolled my eyes across the room to where Meredith was sucking Jay's cock, presumably to get him hard again as I'd seen them fucking shortly before. I didn't answer.

"She's just a fuck-buddy, isn't she?" I heard the words, evaluating what she was saying. Was there anything between Meredith and me besides sex? Granted, it was good sex, and she was always willing to do it again, even if I wasn't up for it, but was there anything else? She was maintaining her own home; I was maintaining my own home. There was no hint of anything else, and just how long would this be going on? In my mind, I realized she was right: I was now Meredith's fuck buddy, her "every day" dick until she could have another threesome or foursome with Stef and Jay, or to get together with her girlfriends, or to go to another swingers party where she could get multiple dick. I had never minded any of this, understanding from the beginning that I was just her "between parties" fuck. I'd just never put it that way in my mind, however. But, always in my mind, was the idea that in the background, waiting, was Loretta.

As I lay there thinking, watching Meredith playing with Jay's cock, I realized that was all there had ever been between Mary and me. An early flirtation in college, where I backed away when I found she was someone else's; A threesome, with that someone else, where I thought it was he who had set it up. Meredith had put on a porn flick, had gotten naked and fucked him beside me, and I'd run away thinking, when he commented on 'paying me' with sex from Meredith, that he was being a dick. But now, nearly 50 years later, I wasn't so sure. Meredith had shown no signs of being interested in me for anything except sex, and if she had pushed for that tryst on that night so many years before, was it possible that Rick's comment was nothing except a joke?

If I wanted, I now knew the contacts for the swingers group, I had contacts for Stef and Jay, and if I walked away from Meredith, would I lose anything except a multiple-time-per-week "fuck buddy?" And just like that, I made the decision. "Stef, I think I'm going to go home."

Stef didn't say anything at first, just nodded her head. A minute or two later, she said, "You're not coming back, are you?"

"Probably not," I answered, still not moving.

"We'll make sure she gets home." I nodded again. "She really does care about you, but it may take a bit of work." I understood she was talking about Loretta, not Mary.

I looked over to Stef and just nodded. I stood up, got dressed, and I don't know if Meredith even noticed that I was leaving.

~

I called Loretta multiple times over the next two weeks. During working hours, I seldom needed to call her, and the few times I did, she answered, but as soon as the work-related subject was finished, she always had an "OK, I've got to get back to work," or some other "I'm cutting it off" ending. I tried multiple times to call her outside of working hours, and every time the phone rang, it eventually went to voicemail, so I knew she was ignoring me and not answering. She hadn't blocked my number; she just wasn't answering.

Likewise, multiple times, during the day, I tried to discuss getting together off hours, but she always ignored my unspoken queries, usually just not meeting my eyes, and never came around to my office 'socially'.

I tried going by her house, and even though I could see the signs that she was home, she didn't answer my knocks. I suspected she'd looked out, seen it was me, and chosen to not answer.

Suddenly, from being in someone's bed nearly every night, I was in my own bed, alone, every night.

The guys at work went out for drinks one evening and invited me along. Four of us, me being the old fart, were at the bar, and the adjacent table had three women. Inquiring flirting had the guys matching up with the younger two, while the "I'm available, are you?" feeling from the woman closer to my age I understood was aimed at me. She was a pretty good-looking woman, wearing a blouse that displayed some abundant cleavage, but somehow there wasn't any electricity between us. Eventually, I left earlier than I needed to. "What was that?" my closest co-worker asked me the next day, "that woman with the great tits was sure into you last night, and you just walked away?" I just sloughed it off.

~

I made sure the hat was down over my eyes. The innocuous white jacket, with the florist's name on it, covered my shirt. I'd had the driver park directly in front of her door so if she looked, she'd see the prominently labeled delivery van. That he was standing on the opposite side, waiting for my signal, couldn't be seen.

"Flower delivery for uh..." I paused just a bit as if I were reading the instructions, "Loretta," I finished. I heard the lock in the door unbolt, and a second later the door swung open. At first glance with the jacket on and the hat over my eyes, she didn't recognize me as I held out the flowers, but her eyes opened wide as she did.

"Can't you take a hint?" She said, irritation in her voice. "I don't want to see you."

"Please?" I said as she started to push the flowers away. "Can we just talk?"

"Talk about what?"

"Talk about us."

"There is no 'us,'" she answered. She didn't relinquish the flowers.

"Hear me out?" I paused and added, "Please?" She looked at me momentarily and finally nodded. "Tom!" I turned and hollered at the delivery van, "OK!" Tom stepped out from behind the van and approached us. I handed him the hat and jacket, and the second promised $100. He'd waffled at allowing me this subterfuge at an offer of $100, but when I'd said there would be a second hundred if it worked, he'd agreed. "Thanks," I told him, "I'll get an Uber or something to get home."

I followed Loretta inside. "OK, I'm listening."

After all that planning, you would have thought I had the start of what I wanted to say all arranged. Instead, I said: "I uh... I put in my papers. I'm officially retired as of the first of the month." It wasn't the best start.

"So?" she said without emotion. "Congratulations, I guess."

"I realized I had all the physical things I needed, and decided it was time to do the things I've always thought of, including traveling, and realized I don't want to do that alone. And, uhh, I realized there was someone that I really enjoyed being with, being around for several years, that I'd treated...." I stopped, knowing it was hard to say the truth. "Someone I treated like shit, truthfully."

Loretta just stood there, neither acknowledging nor denying my statement.

"Someone I took for granted. Someone whom I've become quite fond of, something I didn't know until she shut me off."

"Sometimes it seems you don't know what you've got till it's gone." I nodded, remembering the Lyrics of Joni Mitchell's song from nearly 50 years before.

"I've been an idiot. I've also been looking for someone to share my life with, someone to travel with, someone to occasionally have sex with, and remember when we were younger. I could have retired years ago, but without someone to share my life with, I didn't. I know you think you have a year or two before you can optimally retire, but how about you consider it now? Come with me. Spend the rest of your life with me."

She just stood there and looked at me, saying nothing for several moments. "Are you proposing?"

I looked down at the flowers I still had in hand, looked back up and thrust them towards her. "I think it's a bit early for that, but I miss you. I want you. And only you."

She nodded, took the flowers from me, and set them to one side on the entry table. Reaching back, she took my hand and turned, heading toward her bedroom. "I haven't had sex in two months and I'm so horny I'm about to spit nails. Why don't you take care of me first and we'll talk about the future later?"