Secrets Ch. 61

61

Arriving home, making sure the house was tidy, and having a nightcap together before bed seemed so normal that it was almost surreal. When I ran an inventory of the day in my mind, trying to capture all that I had experienced and been a part of, it was difficult to believe that it had all happened, but it had, and to me.

In preparation for bed, I was happy to have time for a shower. Mistress let me know that I could clean myself completely, which meant that I could remove the plug as well, letting all that use and cum leak from me, allowing me to go to bed fresh, both mentally and physically ready for whatever might be next. There was a new plug to be inserted, of course, as I was almost never permitted to be free of that internal reminder of my hungers.

It was very strange to be without the cage. I behaved myself in the shower, touching myself only as much as I needed to in order to clean myself, but there had been no real physical reaction to that contact. It had felt good, to be clear, and just being able to feel touch down there was a gift, but I still did not harden. Once my shower was done and I'd finished applying some moisturizer, I felt a very unique combination of pleasure, feeling the long-denied sensations myself against the delicate fabrics of my sleepwear, and humiliation, knowing I was impotent enough that I didn't need the cage to control my erections.

When I woke, however, it seemed that I was somewhat premature in that assessment. I was shocked and unnerved to feel morning wood stretching my panties. I didn't dare touch myself, for fear of how quickly I might lose control. I felt Mistress shift in the bed beside me.

"Well well well, it seems that you're not quite done with the cage yet," she giggled.

"I guess not, Mistress. I... I just woke up like this."

"Not to worry, Dolly. I didn't really plan for you to be cage free quite yet. In fact, I have a bit of a surprise for you."

"What is that, Mistress?"

"Lay back, tug down your panties, and I'll show you."

I obeyed, stretching out and then very carefully tugging my panties down until my troublesome cock popped free and stood up on its own. Mistress left the bed, so I lay still, waiting. I could hear her go all the way downstairs for a few moments. I just lay still, watching and feeling my erection slowly start to ebb.

That process quickened substantially when she returned and upended a cup full of ice cubes over my cock. I felt them fall over me and nestle around my balls. In moments I was soft again and shivering.

"Good girl," she giggled, then got to work.

I thought at first that her surprise gift was just a new chastity cage, but this one was that and more. My first clue was the shape of it, and that Mistress also had me lift my hips so she could wrap a strap around my hips to support the base ring. The next one was that its installation upon me started with the slow and careful insertion of the attached catheter tube. My eyes widened with that new sensation.

The device was cold stainless steel, and it seemed like a heavy block. It didn't fit around my now-softened nub of flesh but instead it pushed me inside. When Mistress finally turned the key in the lock, there was nothing but a flat, perforated steel disc where my cock had been, with my balls looking full and tormented beneath it. My cock wasn't just caged -- it looked erased.

"We will still need to remove it from time to time for cleaning, but the tube will allow you to urinate normally -- well normal for you, sitting down like a good girl."

"Yes, Mistress. Thank you Mistress."

I roused myself out of bed and got dressed, then started into my normal routine for a Saturday morning, which included making a full breakfast for Mistress. She asked for just a light meal that morning, as she had decided to have people over for brunch. That led to increased work for me, making sure the house was spotless as well as planning the meal. I was happy to have the tasks to fill my morning, and to please Mistress though my success.

Mistress had not informed me of the guests, so it was a pleasant surprise to open the door to my former Master and his wife Miss Jennifer. I don't know that I ever felt completely comfortable or free from embarrassment when I was shown off as Dolly, but they knew me like this almost as much or as well as Mistress did.

Once I made sure that everyone had drinks and was comfortable, I got to work preparing the food. There was a lot to do, and I wanted things to be served hot, so it was almost a relief when I was not invited to sit and join them. Instead I could keep working and serving and attending to them all. I listened to their conversation a bit, but mostly I was busy rushing about, back and forth, cooking and serving and cleaning.

It wasn't until their eating had slowed to a stop and they had pushed their chairs back from the table that Mistress called me over.

"Dolly, I want you to tell my friends what you offered me yesterday."

Someone else might have thought that her question could have been referring to any number of things, but I knew immediately what she meant.

"I told Mistress that I would be willing to give up my balls for her," I said, feeling the power of saying those words out loud.

Miss Jennifer seemed surprised but Master just smiled and nodded.

"Wow, that is incredible," Miss Jennifer said. "That's a huge step."

"It is," Mistress replied. "I was kind of hesitant at first, but even since then, I've been thinking a lot about it."

"Do you think you will accept this offer?" Master asked.

Mistress turned to me, answering Master's question, but letting me see every detail of her facial expression as she did so.

"Yes, I will. As soon as the doctor is comfortable with it, we will make an appointment, and Dolly's troublesome, silly balls will be removed."

I took a deep breath. I felt Mistress's gaze on me already, and I could see the others looking over at me to gauge my reaction.

"Thank you, Mistress," I said slowly.

"I think that I've come to another conclusion as well, Dolly."

"What is that, Mistress?"

"For the last month or so, since you've started your treatment, your work has pretty much been the only place where 'David' is still present. There may be those there who have started to notice some changes in your appearance, and there are certainly a small few who know what a good cock-sucker you are, but other than that, your real self is kept a secret. Is that correct?"

"Yes, Mistress. It is."

"That is going to end. In fact, this past week was the last time that 'David' was ever going to appear at work as such. I've made appointments for Monday at my lawyer and at the bank, where your name will be legally changed, and your assets will be transferred over to Dolly's information."

"Ohhhh. Yes, Mistress," I answered, not knowing quite what to think about first.

"So let's get some champagne," Mistress said with a smile. "This isn't going to be about mourning the end of a man you tried so hard not to be, but instead we are celebrating the beginning of Dolly's coming out party."

"Yes, Mistress," I said, and rushed to the kitchen to fetch a bottle out of the fridge.

Mistress popped the cork while I held the glasses for her to fill. She poured on for each of us, myself included, and her smile was wide. Master was beaming too, and I could feel a sense of pride in perhaps having lived up to a potential he might have seen in a very early version of me.

Mistress raised her glass and looked over at her friends.

"I don't know if any of this would be possible without the two of you," she said. "You've opened my eyes, guided me, led me, and you've even been great in bed. And Dolly, my one-time husband, my continual lover, and now my wonderful little slutty plaything, thank you too, for letting your fantasies spread wide enough to actually take root and become real. Everyone is about to get to know Dolly -- but maybe not quite as well as we have. No more secrets!"

Mistress tilted her glass back and took a full gulp of her champagne.

"No more secrets!" Master and Miss Jennifer called back, and drank.

"No more secrets," I said in a near whisper, perhaps just to myself.

It had been getting harder to fit my changing body into my old clothes, and I sometimes found myself forgetting to listen for my old name during meetings or on conference calls, but that was a lot different than what was about to happen.

On Tuesday, after these meetings and on my first day back in the office for the week, I was going to have to walk through those doors as a woman -- and not as just any woman, but as Dolly. The Dolly I'd come to know at home and at parties and outings was slutty and sensual and submissive -- always and anywhere. Her clothing didn't hide her body, and it certainly wasn't going to cover her collar anymore. At least our recent trip out had shown that Dolly wasn't always dressed like a slut, even when still being made to feel sexy and pretty.

"Let's celebrate," Mistress laughed. "Who wants to fuck Dolly?"

Both Master and Miss Jennifer raised their hands, joining Mistress who had lifted hers in the air as well.

"Well well well, I guess we're either going to have to take turns."

"Get that strap on, will you?" Miss Jennifer said. "Ken and I are going to take our turns together."

The whole bag of toys was brought down, and I was undressed by eager and playful hands. Being stripped down to just a bra and my stockings meant that the two of them also got to see my new cage, which they both greatly appreciated.

I was guided down onto all fours and, while Miss Jennifer got herself property fitted into the harness and got her chosen dildo lubricated, I got to stroking and kissing Master's offered cock. I loved this service and all the sensations that came along with it. I loved being on my knees before a man, and feeling the warmth and growing stiffness of his cock in my hands and between my lips. I was sent to tingling by those first hits of his precum as it leaked onto my tongue, filling my mouth with the taste of him.

It was even more intense now, with this man who had been my Master, and who had led me past fantasy, through the fear of being discovered and right on past that into the terrifying joy of confession and surrender. It was without a doubt Mistress who had accepted me and collared me and claimed this new person and totally hers while hanging onto the love that we had both started with, but it was Master more than anyone else who had prepared me and delivered me to her.

I could show my appreciation for all of that right then, on my knees, putting my full devotion and skills to use. I devoured his cock and I worshipped his body. I sucked and slurped and stroked, pulling him into me, and me onto him. It seemed as though I could feel every vein throbbing on his cock as my lips wrapped tight around him. I latched onto him and sealed my mouth tight, my cheeks hollowed with suction as my head bobbed over him.

I was aware of Miss Jennifer removing my plug entering me, and the dildo she had chosen was clearly large and full. I moaned as it plunged deep and she started to thrust, using that pressure to grind against the base of the toy. Those sensations just urged me on, pushing me more fully onto her husband.

I reached for the base of him with lip lips, and with my tongue underneath, stretching out to perhaps even lick at his balls. I could feel him fucking my face, reaching out above me to touch and caress his wife. Mistress was there too, standing close, and I could see her kissing them both in turn, mouths open and tongues exploring.

It was a physical high for me when I felt and tasted Master climax, painting the inside of my mouth and throat with cum. I milked every last drop of his load from him, all while being railed from behind, as Miss Jennifer was close too, and was determined not to be left behind. She came, funneling her energy into her last thrusts and then grinding against the base of the dildo. I squeezed it as tight as I could, to increase the resistance as much as possible, all while swallowing down the last of Master's cum, and reluctantly releasing his cock from my lips.

I could feel myself leaking, but those sensations were different again, thanks to the new cage. It internalized my tingling even more. My cock had been turned into an internal sex organ. I wondered if I was dripping from the little steel opening in its flat face.

Of course, I had no time to sit and ponder such things. I was on call, fetching toys and drinks, as Mistress moved on to making out enthusiastically with Miss Jennifer and then pulling her by the hand upstairs to her bedroom. Master, taking a brief pause to rejuvenate, had me fetch him a beer and then follow him upstairs.

He stood by the open bedroom door, making no secret of watching the two women. They glanced over at him only briefly and smiled, then continued to pleasure each other, perhaps putting some small effort into making a show of it. He pulled me close to him and spoke softly into my ear.

"It's quite a beautiful thing, isn't it, what life can become?"

"Yes, Master. It is," I answered, watching alongside him as the two of them kissed and caressed, ridding each other of any remaining clothing.

"When I met you online, I don't think you could have dreamed that this was possible."

"Absolutely not, Master."

"I'm proud of you. Some men, even now, might have balked at still moving forwards, but you've actually volunteered to sacrifice what little manhood you had left, just to please her, and perhaps amuse her as well."

"Thank you, Master. I'm scared, but I'm still certain."

"It's okay to be scared. A lot of things are going to change, and there's no way to know how others will react when they've only ever known you as a man."

"I don't think I'm too worried about that, Master. Part of me doesn't think I'll be working there that much longer"

"What are you nervous about, Dolly?"

"It's just that, well, it's an operation, and then they'll be gone. No going back. I know that in my mind I know it's right. Rationally I know that I'll never have sex as a man again, or cum like that... but this makes it real and physical and forever. The heart is different from the mind, I guess."

"It is. Being scared and still choosing this is admirable. It confirms to me what I always saw in you."

"What was that, Master?"

"I could tell that the details of a specific kink didn't matter because you were truly submissive at your core. You would find your true pleasure in obedience, and in bringing pleasure to your Dominant. I don't know if this will be the biggest gift you ever make to show that, but it's a big one. You're a good submissive, Dolly."

"Thank you, Master," I answered.

I could feel warmth inside, but from my heart this time. I imagined that Master didn't offer many compliments bigger than that.

"Since we've been talking about how you're never going to cum like a man again, let's see if we can't get you to cum as a sissy."

Master took me to the second bedroom. He was back to full force physically, which he showed me laying me down on the bed, on my back with my legs up in the air, and driving himself balls deep into my hungry sissy pussy. I could look up at him as he filled and used me. With expert pace and rhythm, he brought me right along with him, using his touch and his words to show me what I was, and what I was made for.

My ache built and grew, strange and new and familiar all at the same time. Just as he let himself go and exploded with warm cum inside me, my own wonderful sissygasm rolled over me, making me see stars and oozing my own load through the cage. I thought back to before I knew just how much more powerful and dizzying an orgasm like this could be, and once more I was thankful.

The scariest part, it turned out, of starting to live as Dolly was that I was doing it alone. Whenever I'd been Dolly before, I was almost always with Mistress or at home. Now I was venturing out into spaces like work and the city in general, on my own. It was all building up to what I was starting to refer to as 'the big day' when I'd have my procedure, but there were plenty of other big days on the way to that one.

Our trip to the lawyer made my name change official and legal. All my assets were transferred over, so that everything that I had owned was now Dolly's. I began the process of getting new identification by feeling the strange thrill of getting a new drivers licence photo. I sent in a very carefully worded memo to work, letting them know of my decisions, and asking to be addressed as Dolly from now on.

I composed another email, with Mistress's help, to those that I worked most directly with, so they would not be too caught-of-guard when I arrived at work for the first time, dressed and living as my new self. Even with all my preparations, I had no idea how I would be accepted but there was no option but to keep moving forwards.

Interlude

Those who knew David the closest probably had the hardest time accepting Dolly, but those that stepped back or were rude about it were quickly replaced by other, well-meaning individuals who wanted to make some effort to be an ally.

Dolly's fashion and style was an evolving one, but it did still tend towards being a bit on the sexy or edgy side. She showed skin and often chose a neckline that highlighted not only her collar, but her deepening cleavage. The hormones were working, and more quickly than expected, in re-shaping her body. It didn't seem long at all before her chest went from a bit puffy to a pretty little pair of humble breasts -- enough to be shaped by a bra or a corset.

Dr. Pim was quite surprised to see the progress during their next appointment, but that only helped things along when it came to the discussion of the procedure. Seeing how far Dolly had come and finding out that she was living full-time as Dolly assuaged her concerns, and the date was set.

Thanks to the benefits of private medicine, which worked quite well when one had the higher levels of insurance, the date came quickly.

It was a nervous morning for Dolly, but she was afraid of the knife in general, and not at all about her decisions. By then, having been living as Dolly exclusively for a number or weeks, she had only become more sure it was the right choice.

Even Alex at work had been enthusiastic. He was more than happy to continue to call Dolly up to his office to service him. It was still a turn on for him to have one of his employees sucking his cock, and now the fragile part of him could feel just a little "less gay" as he looked down at her, with her painted lips wrapped around him. Craig was amused, seeing how far Dolly was going, and was more than happy to keep having dates with her. The more feminine she became, however, the less sexually interested he became, but he did still love to bend her over and spank her. There wasn't a secret to keep quiet that gave them a kind of power over her, but Dolly's desire to serve and please them more than made up for that.

Finally, the day arrived, and Jane drove Dolly to the clinic. It was all very simple and organized there, and the nurses and doctors were so reassuring and kind. Forms had to be signed, and the procedure and its side-effects and results described and detailed over and over, but then she was being wheeled into the OR, wearing nothing but a sheet.

It felt like a dream, thanks to the drugs, which blocked any pain and kept her floating just on the edge of consciousness. She felt hands on her. The sheet was lifted and she was exposed. In her dreamy thoughts she wondered what they would think of her tattoos, but she was so happy how they marked her and made it clear that she was Mistress's.

The liquid they spread over her balls was so cold but the touch of their latex-clad fingers felt intimate and wonderful. It was so strange to feel but not really feel the incision or the prodding or the little tugs or the final snips. It seemed to take longer to properly place the stitches than it did to do all the rest.

It would ache tomorrow, she knew that, but now, she was floating on clouds of bliss and wonder. She had done it. She had been brave enough and strong enough to overcome her fears and truly give herself to her Mistress. She was asleep with a wide smile on her face when Mistress was brought into the recovery room. In her dreams, she felt Mistress's kiss upon her forehead.