Die With A Smile 01 - Prologue

"Die With A Smile" played on repeat through my stereo as I swayed in front of my living room window, a glass of wine in my hand and tears streaming down my face. Tonight was the night and I had dressed for the occasion even though no one would be there to see it. Tonight, I had opted to wear an emerald green, knee length, wrap skirt over a matching satin bra and panty set. On my legs were my favorite pair of thigh-high stockings and my favorite Black, patent leather, ankle strap pumps. On my head, my Afro with the blonde highlights had been straightened and styled so that it fell down over my shoulders and framed my face. I'd used the minimum amount of makeup, choosing to use a red lipstick that complimented my caramel complexion and popped against the green of my dress.

I stumbled a bit as I caught my reflection in the glass. I wish I could say that it was because I looked so stunning in my finery. But the truth was that I didn't look like anything special. Oh, and the drugs appeared to be kicking in.

With one hand on moving from one piece of furniture to another and the other hand clutching my wine glass, I made my way back over to my sofa. Another wave of dizziness hit me and I fell onto the couch, barely managing not to spill my wine. I think it's time to put this down, I thought as I leaned towards the coffee table and set the glass on a nearby coaster. Funny how, even as death was approaching, I was still concerned about how things looked.

I closed my eyes for an extended blink, letting the music carry me away, when I heard a hard pounding on my door.

Who in the hell is knocking at this hour? I thought, even as I made no move to get up. Instead, I curled up on the couch and draped a blanket across my legs.

"Avery!" A voice called from the hallway. "Are you in there? Hello?"

My eyes opened slightly as I recognized the voice of my friend, Logan. "Logan?" I replied weakly. "What... what are you doing here?"

"Open the door Avery, please." I imagined that I could hear desperation starting to creep into his voice underneath his determination. "I... we are worried about you."

We? "We?" I gave voice to the thought in my head a couple of seconds after the thought occurred. Things are slowing down...

"We," Logan said. "Me and Imani. We're both here for you."

"Avery," a higher voice said and I recognized it as Imani's. "Please sweetie, open the door."

"Go away," I moaned. "I don't want to hurt anyone."

"Hurt anyone? What are you talking about?" Imani pleaded through the door. "Talk to us, please."

Tears started to stream down my face as I thought about my two friends, the only people that knew me and my secrets. I reached for my glass of liquid courage when another wave of dizziness swept over me. I felt myself falling as I said quietly, "I love you both." I could hear the song lyric "if the world was ending, I'd want to be next to you" playing from my stereo. And then, there was darkness and finally, quiet.

"Die With A Smile" played on repeat through my stereo as I swayed in front of my living room window, a glass of wine in my hand and tears streaming down my face. Tonight was the night and I had dressed for the occasion even though no one would be there to see it. Tonight, I had opted to wear an emerald green, knee length, wrap skirt over a matching satin bra and panty set. On my legs were my favorite pair of thigh-high stockings and my favorite Black, patent leather, ankle strap pumps. On my head, my Afro with the blonde highlights had been straightened and styled so that it fell down over my shoulders and framed my face. I'd used the minimum amount of makeup, choosing to use a red lipstick that complimented my caramel complexion and popped against the green of my dress.

I stumbled a bit as I caught my reflection in the glass. I wish I could say that it was because I looked so stunning in my finery. But the truth was that I didn't look like anything special. Oh, and the drugs appeared to be kicking in.

With one hand on moving from one piece of furniture to another and the other hand clutching my wine glass, I made my way back over to my sofa. Another wave of dizziness hit me and I fell onto the couch, barely managing not to spill my wine. I think it's time to put this down, I thought as I leaned towards the coffee table and set the glass on a nearby coaster. Funny how, even as death was approaching, I was still concerned about how things looked.

I closed my eyes for an extended blink, letting the music carry me away, when I heard a hard pounding on my door.

"Who in the hell is knocking at this hour?" I thought, even as I made no move to get up. Instead, I curled up on the couch and draped a blanket across my legs.

"Avery!" A voice called from the hallway. "Are you in there? Hello?"

My eyes opened slightly as I recognized the voice of my friend, Logan. "Logan?" I replied weakly. "What... what are you doing here?"

"Open the door Avery, please." I imagined that I could hear desperation starting to creep into his voice underneath his determination. "I... we are worried about you."

We? "We?" I gave voice to the thought in my head a couple of seconds after the thought occurred. But another part of my mind realized that "things are slowing down..."

"We," Logan said. "Me and Imani. We're both here for you."

"Avery," a higher voice said and I recognized it as Imani's. "Please sweetie, open the door."

"Go away," I moaned. "I don't want to hurt anyone."

"Hurt anyone? What are you talking about?" Imani pleaded through the door. "Talk to us, please."

Tears started to stream down my face as I thought about my two friends, the only people that knew me and my secrets. I reached for my glass of liquid courage when another wave of dizziness swept over me. I felt myself falling as I said quietly, "I love you both." I could hear the song lyric "if the world was ending, I'd want to be next to you" playing from my stereo. And then, there was darkness and finally, quiet.