A Helping Hand Ch. 02

I started the day off by wiring the remaining balance on my bank account to my parents. Despite their protests, I ignored them. They need it more than I do... but now that I think about it, I won't have someone to get a loan. I mostly borrowed money from Vero, Andrew's best friend and now... I don't know, I don't want to talk to her... she knew and never told me. I'm practically immune to hunger so I powered my way through it and went to class. I took out a pad of paper I had on a clipboard, it was my go-to for taking notes. For the first time, I didn't feel tired or I lacked sleep as I actually learned something about tangent planes. Pretty confident I can cheese the quiz.

"Settle down, people." Dunc... I mean, professor came in. He arranged his glasses, his hair was messy and his eyes tired. He looked up and saw me, and the tiredness from his eyes was replaced with... relief? He looked at me, then to the class as he greeted everyone. He was wearing a navy blue button down long sleeve shirt, unironed and messy and his pants were a light khaki, also messy. I think he was in a hurry, probably forgot to set his alarm. It was going well, until a familiar face came in; Andrew. He just went inside without a care in the world. Everyone looked at him, then to me, as I felt the eyes of the world gazing upon me. Like I was some sort of odd tourist attraction; a queer thing to behold... it was overwhelming as I felt I was swallowed by the chair. My heart felt like it was gonna burst open until Duncan cleared his throat.

"Mr. Dunne, you're late." His gave shifted unto me, the same tired look came back but with a bit of worry.

"Sorry... I was-"

"That still doesn't explain why you were absent these past days. You could've written an email." He sighs. "We'll talk about this later." He said. He was strict when it came to his classes, he was passionate about teaching... but I couldn't help but notice the elephant in the room. Why is he back all of a sudden without even answering my messages, nor my calls. Does he hate me... does he want to end this all? Maybe he's just trying to teach me a lesson, yeah... none of this would've happened if I hadn't fucking snooped around, gosh darn it, Ricky! You're a fucking snitch! You could've just let your distrust die down, you deserve this, you deserve to be ignored by Andrew! Nobody wants you, you're a fucking lunatic, you can't even do anything, you're failing, you can't help your parents... you can't even help yourself.

I didn't notice it but tears streamed down my face as I made a rush to the bathroom. This is too much... the voices are loud. I don't want this... I don't want to do this. I hid myself in a cubicle and quieted down as someone came in. They might think I'm a pussy for crying all alone here... but the door swiveled and to my surprise it was Professor Goldberg. He didn't say a word, just looked at me and he hugged me. I immediately succumbed to his embrace as I let myself be vulnerable to him.

"Hey... you know you could've just told me you were uncomfortable." He said, patting my back as I let my eyes soak back my tears as my face contorted back to its normal state.

"I'm fine... it's just..." I took a long deep breath as we heard another swing on the bathroom door as he quickly shoved himself inside. I was pressed against his chest as I whiffed the smell of him. Pine wood and mist... like an early morning road trip along the California woods. I was so close I could hear his heart beat. He looked down at me as I looked up, his face wasn't hiding the pink hue from his cheeks.

"Well... this is very unexpected." He hushed as I couldn't move. I was paralyzed, his sweat dripped on my forehead as his breathing became heavy. The other guy finished pissing as he let himself out of the cramped cubicle. "Well... that was." We chuckled as he patted my back. "You can take the quiz later tonight... you kinda missed the test, but I know you. You're smart." He left the bathroom before I looked at myself in the mirror. I was blushing... did I like it that I was pressed against him... did he like it too..? I shouldn't be thinking of that... now that I can talk to Andrew... I should try and reach out... I need him. I need him to talk to me again.

I got out of the bathroom as I made my way to the FAB as that's where him and Vero usually go. I looked around and saw Vero and as she saw me, she looked like she saw headlights. She braced what was coming as she nervously walked towards the backdoor. I followed her to the abandoned building outside and saw Andrew talking to someone on the phone. My heart stopped when he looked at me... he looked annoyed, and pissed... what...

"What do you want, Richard? Look, your little act of 'oh, I'm so sad I'm going to seek attention' won't work on me, grow up! You're too immature. Oh, so what do you want me to do, beg for your forgiveness? This is exactly why I could never be happy with you! Don't you see, you're a fucking douchebag, you're boring as fuck! How could I even be happy when I'm with someone like you, so don't you fucking blame me if I wanted to seek out happiness for once." He acted like nothing happened... like he didn't care that I broke down... he didn't care... he never cared. I snapped. There was red everywhere and the next thing I knew, I was at Duncan's office.

"Why did you..." Professor Goldberg sighed and arranged his glasses while he fixed the cuts and bruises I got. "You aren't like this, Richard." He said, putting more bandages on my knuckles. "Why did you do that?" I stayed silent... I didn't want to talk... I just...

"How did you... find me."

"Veronica reached out... I promise there aren't anyone who knows about this... incident that occured, I just want to know what made you do this to Andrew." He finished patching me up as the clock hit 6. I didn't had any work today, so it was alright for me to stay late. Duncan let out another sigh of disappointment as he picked up his and my belongings. "You aren't staying at your dorm... not until the Andrew thing has been sorted out. I really shouldn't do this, it's against protocol to invite students at home, but I haven't got any free time in my schedule to schedule a remedial for you... especially when the semester is closing to an end." He sounded angry... annoyed... was it because I haven't been being honest?

"I'm sorry." I meekly said as he stood up and left his office. I followed by as he locked the door.

"You'll be staying at my place. Remember, you still have to do your test." He said gruffly as I wanted to protest, but I know if I didn't accept I wouldn't have any other chance to take it. We got in his car as it started to rain. The ride was awfully silent like before.... and as usual, he had to break the ice.

"You remind me of myself in my younger years, Ricky." He said and coughed. "I couldn't imagine how you balance work and college... the other faculty members say you were also doing a lot of volunteer work. Why do you desperately need money?" He asked... I kept silent. I wanted to talk... I wanted to. But my body just physically can't. But, maybe I do need a helping hand.

We made it into the outskirts of the city, in a big modernist... futurist home that was overlooking the city. I guess teaching really pays off a lot, huh. On top of having a PhD, he was also a civil engineer, so that explains the money. We parked in his 2 car garage, the rain was getting harder as we went inside his home. "Well... welcome to my humble abode." He said. It was amazing, there were designer furniture all around, a glass wall on the living room and a freaking chandelier wow. This is soo...

"Amazing.." I said that out loud. He chuckled before we heard clacks of heels from upstairs descending. It was his wife. She was a lavish woman, dressed in a glittery red party dress and red heels. Duncan's face frowned after seeing her.

"Oh, I didn't expect guests to arrive. I would've cleaned the house." She made her way over to me and shook my hand.

"Kara... this is Richard, my student. He's here to take a test he forgot to answer." He shuffles uncomfortably before Kara moved towards him. "Where are you off to?" He asked.

"Why? Can't a girl club around with her friends?" She seemed annoyed. "Oh, pish posh, I'm not riding any donkey dick tonight, Duncan. Stop worrying like a bitch." Her words took me back to Andrew and his habits... was he and I going through the same thing. "Credit card. Now." Her tone was commanding as she licked her red luscious lips and Duncan gave him his card. She left the house and zoomed off into the city.

"Well... you've met the missus." He chuckled before setting up his laptop and some papers to grade. He gave me a sheet of paper to answer, and an extra sheet for solving.

"She seems... nice." I set my pen as the lighting from the kitchen brightened.

He chuckled defeatedly. "Yeah. I hope u don't mind the lights, I just made them bright enough so you could see. My eyes can't handle bright lights." That's why he had sunglasses as well as his normal glasses, I understood now. "It'll be just the first topics of multivariable calculus we've tackled, I'm sure you're already familiar with it." He said, sitting in front of me as he types something in his laptop. "You do know you have only an hour to answer it right?" I nod as he started the timer.

The first parts were easy, partial derivatives, gradients, Clairaut's theorem, nothing I'm not familiar with. I was deep in thought when he groaned and sighed and looked at me to check. He was impressed I was able to catch up with a very very messy graphing paper as he offered to give me another sheet. I spent a solid 10 minutes double checking if I got the correct points on the curve, slight changes and the minima and maxima are jeopardized.

"Are you... alright, Richard?" Professor... I mean, Duncan asked. "I could feel the tension, it's alright to take a break you know."

"Oh... no it's alright..." I muttered.

"If you need anything, I'm right here. Plus, after this you're welcome here for the lessons." He said. I forgot he offered me private lessons.

A solid hour went by as the timer rang and I managed to answer all of them, but got no time to review, so I just trusted my gut as he comes in the kitchen, wearing a tank top and a loose pair of boxer shorts. "I should've put on something more decent."

"It's alright... it's your home after all." I said. He took out a container of sushi and told me to eat some as he took my paper and put it in his bag. "Aren't you gonna check it?"

"You expect me to grade papers at 8 in the evening, while I'm trying to drink zinfandel?" He laughs before he gives me a glass. "It's mild, it's just chardonnay, promise. Something to take the edge off for today... seems like it was a very rough day for you. I'll try to relieve all of what you've been feeling for tonight." I took the glass and chugged it. Damn, rich people can afford great tasting wines. I needed something to soothe my mind and how could I forget about alcohol?

"This is so much better than provigil." I said and then blushed. I probably shouldn't have confessed that I was using stimulants to him, but he just laughed.

"Xanax does the trick for me." I didn't like Xanax, I felt like everything was numb and all I could care to do was sleep. Provigil was enough to keep me awake during important days like exams and extra gigs and shifts. DQ closes at 10, I gotta butt in more hours so I usually volunteer.

We sat down on his lavish couch, facing the city view. The lights flickered like ten thousand fireflies (that was an owl city reference, mind you) in different colors. I would kill to get a view like this. He told me it also extended to their bedroom so they had a great view of the city while they were going to bed. To be rich and afford rich people shit. The chardonnay is definitely doing something, alright. I know it's a weak wine, I just have a hard time dealing with alcohol, it kicks in to me very easily. He sprawled his muscular arms across the couch, as if he was trying to let off steam from today.

"You have a nice home." I said, looking around. The lights were dim but added boldness and depth to the living room. He sighed.

"Yep. Got it custom built by a popular French architect who had an eye for modern architecture. Collaborated with him, too so basically I took part in making this house."

"That's so cool... I heard you were the one behind the Eagles Tower, is it true?" He laughed as he shared with me all the projects he had worked on. He was passionate about urbanization and how a blank slate can create an amazing cityscape. "I always think of that too when I see engineers."

"What made you want to become one?"

"Money and stuff... I don't know. My parents are very supportive of whatever course I get, yet I wanted engineering since I loved maths... it also didn't hurt to consider education too." He chuckled at the idea. "Yeah... but I think I need the money too that's why I kinda want to." I took another sip of the chardonnay as I poured more. He asked me why am I so invested in the idea of getting money and I just gave it to him right there. About my mom's glaucoma, the recent hurricane destroying our house... it felt like I just needed to repay them, like it was my obligation.

"Well... your parents really got lucky to have a kid like you." He said as I laughed, trying to hide myself blushing.

"Haven't you gotten any kids, Duncan?" I asked, pouring more of the wine... which is clearly not chardonnay now that I think about it as the flavor spiked and burnt my tongue. "Poured the wrong wine, but fuck that." I drank the glass of zinfandel as he looked at me curiously.

"Well... Kara and I just thought it'd be a waste of time. With her and I being career people and busy all the time, we couldn't put a kid in our schedules... yet she can easily put other people in her schedule." Wait...

"What?"

He looks surprised, like he just got caught saying something he shouldn't speak of. "Oh, she's a therapist, of course there are other people in her schedule." He nervously shifted the subject as I looked back to the city. "What's with the deal with Andrew, by the way. You really roughed out that guy back there." He said.

"Cheating fuckers deserve a broken nose." I took a long sip. He looked at me as if he was trying to piece something as it hit him. His brows furrowed as I kept talking about what he had done, the cheating, the ghosting, the whole shit. "And now, he won't even talk to me... I think this just qualifies as a breakup... but I can't forget about him..." I wiped some tears. "I loved him, you know. For a long time, I wanted us to be happy and stable, I thought that we were going to stay that way forever... was I boring? Am I boring? If he's bored he could've just rode a fucking rollercoaster." I hug my knees as I feel the world collapse around me. "And now... I feel alone. I won't ever see him smile at me again and I won't ever have someone that's going to greet me stupidly every morning... I'm alone."

"What about me?" He said, his voice, husky. He scooted closer to me as he wrapped his heavy arms around me. Jesus Christ, those were 6 pounds of pure muscle "I'm also here for you..." He softly touches the bandages on my knuckles. "Well, he definitely doesn't deserve you to begin with. You're much more than that... letting go takes time, but nostalgia will only kill you if you remember only the good things. Appreciate both good and bad, sometimes rose colored glasses leads you to believe that red flags are just normal flags." He drinks his glass as I think about what he said. "Look at me... still coping on and living my best life, still appreciating and acknowledging both good and bad shit."

"Are you happy with your life?"

The air fell silent. "Some days, yeah. Some days, no. I love my work, I love teaching all of you... but when I come home it feels like I'm not even welcome." He takes a sip of his wine. "It's like... everything I've done was just to please her, serve her..." And another. "I just... I don't understand where I went wrong... why I couldn't keep her faithful." He ran out of wine to drink as he set his glass aside. "What about me. Can't I be happy... can't I find some comfort... can't I..." He looks at me. The dim lights were silhouetting his expressions. Sultry, yet visible. His lips licking as he looks at me, like a cougar ready to devour it's prey. His breathing became heavy as our heads slowly inched towards one another. Before I could react, I tasted the strong, sweet taste of zinfandel lingering in his tongue. His beard tickled my chin as his rough hands ended up on my nape. His soul tasted like wine and regret, as I worked my tongue around him... this is wrong... what am I doing!?

I pulled away from the kiss, neither of us saying anything, just looking away embarassed. "You should... get ready for bed." He stood up, not making eye contact, the tent in his shorts was very visible as he made his way upstairs. I used the shower upstairs to freshen up before sleeping. Why did I do that, why the fuck did we kiss, he's a married man! What the fuck am I doing!? I still want to sort things out with Andrew, not fuck my professor! Okay, calm down, you're not promiscuous, you got this. Just apologize and admit that it was an accident and never speak of it again.

I got out of the shower as he told me to come into his room for spare clothes. He was shirtless and was only wearing his shorts. His body was hairy and lean... he worked out a lot and his abs were like a washboard. The clothes were laid nearly on the bed as we were both too nervous to inch a step closer to one another. He looked at me, only wearing a towel as he looked away, embarrassed when I caught him peeking... this is so fucking awkward, why did I do that!? I took the clothes, but before I could leave, his hands brushed against my forearm, his grip tightening as he pulled me into his chest, my mouth ending up on his once again, but this time... it felt right...

"Don't walk away from me like that..." He whispered between the kiss as his hands found it's place in my ass. I squirmed and panicked... this isn't right... but his kiss, it's so... tantalizing and intoxicating, like sugar venom coursing through my veins. "You taste amazing, Ricky..." He whispered as his tongue traced my neck and his teeth sinking into it. He pushed me into the bed before biting me, leaving me with hickeys as I claw his muscular back. He comes back to kiss me again, his hands guide mine into the huge bulge inside his shorts. "Suck me dry, Ricky..." He whispered as I moaned while he grinded my hard dick with his. It was big, like a thick bratwurst, ready to be devoured.

I was saving the intimacy for Andrew... but seeing how more caring and romantic Duncan is, who am I to say no? It's just a helping hand I'm offering. He moved me to the edge of the bed as he stood up, his cock on full display as my eyes couldn't believe the size. I drooled at the sight of it while he teased the tip around my lips, using his precum like lipgloss. "I like your face when you want something... beg for it, my boy." He twirls my hair with his fingers as I whiffed his balls. It smells raunchy yet sweet... my dick was getting hard as I begged for him to give it to me already. My tongue darted over and played with his slit. He moaned before I felt his hands around my chin as he shoved his cock slowly into my inexperienced throat. I saw blowjobs on porn, but actually doing it is difficult as I kept on gagging and coughing every time he explores more if my sensitive chasm. "Take your time, baby... it's alright... it's big isn't it?" His labored breaths and soft, husky moans kept me going. "It's okay, Ricky... it's alright, baby..." He was tender, unlike Andrew will ever be as his hands slowly massage my Adam's apple as his cock pushed it outwards.